June 19, 2025 • 40 mins
Do you cancel plans with zero guilt? Rehearse phone calls? Hide in the bathroom at parties for a recharge moment? Then this love letter is for you, dear introvert.
In this episode of Andi & Mich, two sisters, two generations, and way too many unread texts get real about the unexpected perks of being an introvert. From solo coffee rituals and deep convos to sacred recovery routines and pretending to be on a call to avoid small talk—we’re unpacking the quirks, strengths, and misunderstood beauty of introvert life.
We take a fun “How Introverted Are You?” quiz, break down introvert vs. ambivert vs. omnivert, share embarrassing confessions (including a purse-on-fire story), and explore how introverts actually make amazing leaders.
Plus: fictional introverts, surprise celebrity intros, and a rapid-fire game of “Introvert or Just Over It?”
This episode is cozy, hilarious, validating, and a whole lot of yes, that’s me energy.
Whether you're deep in your mind mansion or hiding from group texts, grab your snacks and weighted blanket—you're not alone.
🛋️ Subscribe to our YouTube channel and listen in weekly for laughs, warmth, and relatable real-life sisterhood.
🎧 Full episodes on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, and wherever you get your podcasts!
If you liked this episode please like and follow our podcast, leave us a comment, and share it with a friend. Visit us on Youtube for extra content and full episodes https://www.youtube.com/@AndiandMich
Your support helps us to keep the conversations going. <3
-Andi and Mich
The Andi and Mich Podcast: Two Sisters, Two Generations, Unique Perspectives, Lots of Laughs
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to Andy and Mitch,the podcast.
(00:02):
Were two sisters, twogenerations, and way too many
unread texts.
Come together.
If your ideal weekend iscanceling plans and staying
home, this episode is your loveletter.
Today we're diving into theunexpected perks of being an
introvert.
Not the boring dictionarydefinition of introvert, but the
real stuff.
(00:23):
Whether you recharge solo,dread, small talk, or have an
inner world rich enough to rivalyour favorite telenovela, this
one's for you.
Plus we've got a little game,some introvert confessions, and
is that an introvert thing orare we just dramatic?
Let's dive in.
Introverts unite, butseparately.
(00:44):
In our own homes.
Okay, so let's just start here.
What actually is an introvert?
A relatable definition isintroverts are people who
typically thrive in their owncompany.
Preferred depth over small talk,and often feel drained after too
much socializing.
(01:05):
Tend to be deep thinkers, veryintrospective, self-aware, but
at the same time, it's like youcan get really overstimulated
when there's too much noise, toomuch activity or high energy
settings that you're in for along period of time.
We have to take socializing andother humans in small doses.
(01:25):
It's safe to say we're bothintroverts.
You don't think you're anintrovert?
I'm an omnivert.
An omnivert is a person who canbe extremely outgoing in some
situations and very reserved orintrospective in others.
You're an ambivert.
I actually at heart am anintrovert but I think through
societal enrichment.
(01:47):
AKA responsibilities.
I've learned how to be inambivert.
So move between being anintroverted state into being an
extroverted state, and you canadapt to both environments
depending on the situation, yourmood or your energy level.
So sometimes we do enjoysocializing but at the same
(02:09):
time, I also require a need myalone time, so I can thrive in a
group, but I prefer solitude.
Yes.
As where I identify more as anomnivert, which is someone who
displays both introverted andextroverted traits, but not
necessarily in balance.
Rather they swing between thetwo extremes depending on the
(02:31):
situation, the mood or theenvironment, so they can be
adaptable but typically whenthey are leaning into their
extroverted tendencies.
It's usually in environmentswhere it's like a very high
energetic situation.
Alright, let's do a little quiz.
How introverted are you?
Is the quiz on a scale fromsocial butterfly to please don't
(02:54):
call me.
So we're gonna answer fivequestions, yes or no to these
five questions.
And then we'll tally and seewhere we land.
Let's test this theory if we'rereally who we think we are.
Okay.
Question number one, do you getexcited when plans get canceled?
Yes.
Yes, 100% If you wanna cancel,like that's fine, I don't care.
(03:15):
Just don't even invite her inthe first place.
I'll show up but if you tell methat you wanna just stay at home
and just chill and watch TV byyourself, I'll be like, okay,
cool.
See you next month.
And also why are extrovertshaters?
I've heard this before well,it's'cause we always invite you
and you never come.
Okay but that's my choice, don'tbe such a hater.
Yeah.
Okay, question number two.
(03:35):
Do you need time alone afterhanging out with people you
love?
Yeah.
It depends on the energy thepeople I love are bringing,
'cause if the people I love arebringing a lot of energy and
they're like in a good space, Idon't need that much rest the
next day.
But if they're like drained,they're down and out, I need
like three days.
(03:55):
Where like real extroverts, justkind of keep going, you know?
Yeah.
Okay.
Question number three.
Do you rehearse what you'regoing to say before making a
phone call?
Not when it's like somebody I'mreally close with, like for you
or for like, some of my closerpeople, I won't rehearse, they
get what they get.
And it doesn't make any sense.
(04:16):
They're like trying to decipherme as we go.
Yeah.
I'm like, why are you calling meright now?
But if it's like for people Ijust met, sometimes I'm like,
I'll be like, hey, hey.
Hello.
Hello.
Not necessarily rehearsing whatI'm telling them, but I'm
rehearsing my introduction.
What about you?
That's even better.
(04:37):
No, I don't rehearse.
If it's something that's reallyimportant to me that I don't
wanna forget but just'cause withage, I tend to forget a lot of
things.
I'll just kind of make bulletpoints in my head, make sure you
tell them this, this, and this.
And then I just wing it fromthere.
And I'm cool with it.
Okay.
Question number four.
Do you feel more alive after asolo coffee run than a crowded
(04:59):
brunch?
1000%.
Yeah, for sure.
There's something just reallyinvigorating and beautiful about
going to get coffee by yourself.
It's so wonderful, you get toorder what you want.
You could order a pastry, noone's there to judge you.
Sometimes you put on like a realcute outfit and you're just
like, man, amazing.
Take yourself out'cause you'reworth it.
Okay.
Question number five.
(05:19):
Do you pretend to be asleep whensomeone knocks unexpectedly?
We're uncovering some veryimportant information here,
especially for Mitch, becauseyou also pretend to be asleep
when someone calls youunexpectedly.
Sometimes.
Oh, I fell asleep.
Don't lie to me, I saw yourinspirational post of your dog.
(05:43):
So if you got zero to one,you're an extroverted icon.
Two to three, which is what Igot.
Three ambivert energy, you'rethe social chameleon.
You just don't book two eventsin one day.
That's true.
If you got four classicintrovert, you love people just
from a comfortable emotionaldistance.
(06:05):
And if you got five, which Mitchdid, certified hermit vibes,
your spirit animal is a do notdisturb sign.
Classic.
Wow.
I love a good quiz.
This is why we do them, becauseit's like just so much wisdom
dropped on us real fast.
(06:26):
I'm crying.
Okay, so I think we'veestablished that you're actually
an extrovert turned hermit.
And so your hashtag is, I haveretired from society, don't me.
Mine is I love you but alsoplease leave by eight.
Let's get into the good stuff,some of the perks of being an
(06:48):
introvert and or tapping intoyour introvert energy.
You recharge solo, which meansyou're never bored with
yourself.
That's true, cause we're wildlycreative.
We have these like, whatpsychologists refer to as the
mind mansion.
And true introverts tend tocreate like a world of their own
inside their mind.
So because of that, it's like anadventure all the time.
(07:11):
All the time with yourself.
My mind mansion, she pretty,she's real big.
The creative element also comeswith like that problem solving
brain.
So we're always imagining thepossibilities and how to like
shift and mold and move andchange within them.
Yeah.
Totally.
Alright.
Deep convos over small talkalways.
(07:31):
Yes.
This is true for all introvertsI have met that are actually
introverts.
We prefer real information andreal conversation versus like
superficial connection.
We're looking for like, let'sunpack this meaning of life
right now.
In the next 10 minutes.
And I know we just met.
(07:52):
It's true, introversion isn'tthe same as shyness and a lot of
people conflate the two.
Yeah.
And as a true introvert, I don'tlike small talk, and we've
talked about this before, butlike.
I had to learn how to becomegood at it by the nature of what
I do and being a professional.
But it's a boring af to me andlike I wanna hear something
(08:14):
real.
I wanna have like a real goodconversation with people, even
if it's a short one.
Yes.
And I'm okay with like smalltalk a little, but it has to
have some depth at some point.
Otherwise I just tune you out.
Boundaries come naturally, youjust don't play fake.
Yeah,'cause we have to set themall world die.
As a hermit I'll shrivel up.
(08:37):
If we don't set the boundaries,we, you will drain us to death,
like energy vampires and we willdie.
It's a survival instinctbasically.
Are you fake?
I gotta go.
Like all of a sudden I can'tbreathe.
I can't breathe around you.
Like, oh God, does anybody elsefeeling like they wanna throw
up?
You observe everything, you area human lie detector.
Yes and for a long time I didn'trealize that this was an
(09:03):
introvert superpower, but alsopart of like my personality
superpower.
Until I met other people whowere older and more established.
Who taught me this lesson thatlike I engage with others, using
much more than just language,language is like the last thing
I'm really paying attention to.
Mm-hmm.
(09:23):
And I think this is true forhuman engagement, but especially
for certain personality types,it's everything.
Like we're feeling the energy ofthe room and I always thought,
oh, that's silly.
And I wouldn't talk about it toomuch out loud until a mentor I
had was like, no, this is asuperpower.
This is part of how you engagein the world and how you take in
(09:43):
information and you're payingattention to all the things that
people are not saying.
Yeah and introverts are oftenreally great listeners.
That is one of the elements thatmakes it a superpower, we're so
incredibly in tune that's wherewe catch the errors.
Like one of the greatest thingsthat our father told me.
If you really wanna know whosomebody is, just listen to
them.
(10:04):
They will tell you exactly whothey are and exactly what they
want, people will always tellyou and show you who they are,
coupled together.
That's part of why we are thehuman lie detectors that we are,
we critically think and analyzethings and then we respond.
Yeah and I'll notice like aninflection in the way somebody's
talking.
Like the pitch goes up and down,the breath may change, the eye
(10:27):
movement changes.
And I'm like, Hmm, notice that.
What does that mean?
I think sometimes I'm like that.
I rely heavily on patterns, so Iwon't just think like in the
moment that maybe something'sdifferent.
Is this something that they doover a consistent amount of
time?
Where I'm being hypervigilantbut it's like a feeling, like I
actually feel it on my skinsometimes.
My brain just goes, something'sweird.
And again, if you're in tune,you can notice that stuff easy.
(10:50):
And the more you pay attention,the easier it is for you to
catch.
Social media breaks areself-care, not strategy.
So social media for me can feela lot like going to a large
event or being around a lot ofpeople.
Because it's too much, too fastand it can become overwhelming
(11:10):
and the feeling is the same.
So if I am taking a break fromsocial media, it's not because
I'm trying to practice somestrategy, it's just that I
actually need to step away.
I know sometimes it can beoverwhelming with social media,
especially depending on whatyour algorithm is feeding you,
it's like, oh, I gotta put myphone away, like forever, I
think.
Or sometimes I just get a bunchof people cooking things like
(11:33):
grandma's making their dishes.
And I'm like, this is sosoothing.
Your home is a Sacred Haven,candles, blankets, and snacks.
Yes.
I was gonna say, I don't havecandles.
But I do have blankets andsnacks and like a lot of them.
For sure.
We just bought a whole bag ofsnacks.
That's true.
Just for this podcast.
Yeah, 100% my favorite place inmy home is my bed.
(11:59):
Like, it's so cozy.
I love watching TV in bed, and Ihave a bed that like adjusts, so
I can sit up and I get realcomfy, put my legs up, get my
cozy weighted blanket and I canstay there all day long.
That's like my perfect introvertrecovery space.
You're like the queen of cozy.
There's a meme that says, I payso much in rent, i'm gonna enjoy
(12:19):
every aspect of my home.
This is my home.
I should be able to have timewith it alone, leave me be
people.
What about people feel safearound you because you're a good
listener.
I would say yes.
And also on a friendship level,like introverts tend to build
fewer but deeper friendships, sothey don't have as many close
(12:40):
friends, but their closestfriends tend to be much deeper
than the average friendship.
In the same vein of what you'retalking about,'cause you
mentioned this earlier in ourprevious conversation, because
of an introvert's ability to bea good listener and to be able
to take information in quietly,they also make great leaders.
According to Harvard BusinessSchool introverted leaders often
(13:02):
deliver better outcomes,especially when leading
proactive teams'cause they'remore likely to listen and
encourage others' ideas andallow others to take up space.
Introverted leaders oftenoutperform extroverted ones,
especially when they build theseproactive teams.
And the main reason is becausethey do not feel that they need
to dominate any space, whichgives their team the ability to
(13:26):
grow.
100% I don't need to be thecenter of attention.
I need my team to feel like theycan be the best that they can be
in the space and know thatthey're supported.
I do believe if you give peoplethe space, they will rise to the
occasion.
And it's because they want to.
Not because they feel like theyhave to or you're forcing them
(13:46):
to.
And when they can do it thatway, it tends to be very
creative.
You tend to get so many greatthings out of your people when
you give them the space to beable to do it right?
And leaders who need to be thecenter of attention or need to
be, very commanding at the topof a hierarchy, don't get that
same kind of loyalty andresponse and output from the
(14:08):
people that work for them.
And I can say that people thattend to feel like they need to
consistently control ormicromanage, fall short often.
Yeah.
It's not worth that.
And the quiet, strong leaderswho know that they can instill
great values and help peoplereach their best potential by
(14:28):
allowing them to shine and to dothe work and grow at their own
pace.
They're the most memorable,that's for sure.
And they tend to be the onesthat leave and instill values in
others so that they can maybeeven follow the path and become
great leaders themselves.
Great leaders make greatleaders.
We should put that on a piece ofwood and hang it.
I'm gonna put it on a t-shirt.
(14:50):
In the same vein of what youwere just talking about, Mitch,
introverts are often loyal AFfriends.
Too loyal.
Sometimes to a fault that could,this could be the shadow side of
introversion sometimes.
Because we don't wanna walk awayand we've already invested in
you.
We've invested in thisfriendship.
It means something to us.
(15:11):
So it's not something that we'rejust willing to throw away and
move on to do the work again, tofind a new friend because it's a
lot of work.
I totally agree with you.
And another thing that's reallyimportant for people to take
into consideration is thatbuilding long lasting
friendships with introverts areworth it but they do take time.
(15:32):
Many introverts describe findinga true friend as finally being
able to exhale.
They really quite often find ithard to open up to people
because they can't really trustthem right away.
But once they do trust you, youhave a friend for life.
Also I will second, the, like ittakes a long time for us to give
(15:54):
you trust because I have friendsthat I've had friendships with
for over five years, maybe adecade or more, and there's
still things they don't knowabout me.
So because they haven't reachedthat level yet, it's like a
video game.
Alright.
As an introvert, you areselectively social and that is a
flex.
I really think that this is asuperpower because, being
(16:14):
selectively social means thatyou put premiums on the
relationships you invest in.
And so I think it's a superpowerto be the kind of person that
puts a lot of initiative andintention in the way that they
choose to love and show up forthe people that they are rooting
for and that they enjoy beingaround.
Another thing about an introvertis that when they choose to show
(16:37):
up for you, they usually don'tshow up and half ass it.
They're showing up because theycan be present in the moment.
I agree if I'm showing up, I'mgonna give you a hundred percent
of what I've got that day.
Now mind you, that a hundredpercent might just be 35% of my
normal functioning, but that'sokay, i'm gonna give you all
that, 35%.
35% is a lot.
(16:57):
Because I've made a choice.
I've actually left my home, putreal clothes on makeup and
probably some sort of heel orplatform shoe.
And I'm about to be realuncomfortable for you because I
care about you and I'm here.
I'm gonna show up and I'm gonnagive you my best.
I'm gonna slide on my ambivertscale.
And then I'm gonna go home andbe a hermit for two days
(17:20):
following.
So since we're talking aboutintroverts, I wanna talk about
some introverted characters frombooks, tv, and film.
Frodo Baggins as an introvert.
Yeah, I can see that.
So Sam Wise an extrovert.
Yes.
Frodo is sensitive andthoughtful.
Frodo is not a natural leader orwarrior but he bears an enormous
burden with quiet resilience.
(17:42):
Another classic introvert on TV,Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons
intellectual, misunderstood, andthe Happiest with a saxophone or
a book.
And Bart is the extrovert.
Yes.
Now someone that's a little bitmore complex.
Dexter Morgan from Dexter.
he was also a serial.
He was also a sociopath.
(18:02):
Moral morally complex, ultraprivate and always inside his
own head, though.
Definitely on the darker end ofthe introvert scale.
Yeah.
You think so?
So for movies, Ameli?
Shy, quirky and full of wonder,ameli changes lives quietly,
never craving attention, justconnection.
Literally one of the best moviesever, if you've never seen
(18:24):
Ameli, please go watch it.
Bruce Banner, the Hulk from theMarvel Cinematic Universe.
Reserved and Cerebral, bannerprefers science to social
science until provoked.
Yeah, I think mark Ruffo, who'sthe actor that plays the more
recent, Bruce Banner and Hulkdoes a really good job of
(18:45):
showing his character as more ofan introvert.
No team only, only Hulk.
Yeah and it does say untilprovoked, which.
It does make you kind of takepause and like, wait, can
introverts be angry?
Yes, they can.
Okay, remy from Rati.
Uh, love Remy.
A rat with a passion for cookingwho keeps to himself for obvious
reasons.
(19:05):
Remy works best in solitude andprefers to let his work speak
for himself.
Well, here's the thing aboutRemy is that he has such an
awareness that nobody else inhis community has he's like a
little bit more evolved.
It's actually one of my mostfavorite Disney movies.
You love that movie.
And last but not least, Shrekfrom Shrek.
(19:26):
Is he an introvert or a hermit?
He is a hermit, cranky andsolitary by choice.
Shrek just wants his swamp back,but like many introverts, he
ends up forming meaningfulbonds, even though he was
extremely reluctant.
Alright, sometimes it's kind ofhard to tell if things that
we're doing or specificscenarios are us being
(19:49):
introverted or us just beingover it because it's a fine line
between the two, right?
Behavior analysis, is it classicintrovert behavior or are these
just moments that we're justdone with people?
Leaves a party without sayinggoodbye.
(20:10):
Have you ever done this?
Yeah, a few times.
I have too but I will putminimal effort into finding the
host.
If I know the host or if there'speople that I need to say
goodbye to.
And if it's gonna take too mucheffort to go track them down,
then I'm just like, I'm justgonna go.
Yeah, if they're around a lot ofpeople or talking, I almost feel
(20:32):
like I'm not important enough togo interrupt them.
And so I'm like, I'll just leaveand I'll just see them later.
And it has been brought to myattention after the fact that
people thought I was reallyrude.
So that was a learning lessonfor me.
There's been times where I'veshowed up to things and didn't
even say hi or bye.
(20:53):
I've just been there.
And then they've seen me, butthey didn't get a chance to say
hi to me or bye to me, and I'vejust left.
I think true introverts would belike, I didn't even go to the
party to begin with.
I have a lot of those as wellwhere I'm like, yeah, for sure,
i'm going.
And then I can't get myself togo.
And explaining that to someoneis really hard sometimes because
I feel like I let them down.
(21:13):
Mm-hmm.
And then I'm like I justcouldn't I think in general, if
you're leaving a party withoutsaying goodbye, you're probably
just over it at that point intime.
I'm gonna say it's'cause you'reintroverted.
Yeah.
Okay.
Brings noise cancelingheadphones to brunch.
That's just rude.
If there's no instance ofneurodivergence then, then it is
(21:36):
just you being a jackass.
I don't think I've ever been tobrunch or dinner with somebody
who's like, put headphones on.
Yeah.
I would just leave.
The idea of a brunch is to gosocialize and to be in an
environment where there's a lotof people socializing and having
a good time.
So if you show up and you haveanything to distract you and or
(21:58):
mute the people you're with,then you're forced to be there.
That's wild.
I already get peeved when peopleare on their phone the entire
time.
It's like, why am I here?
I didn't come here to watch you.
True.
Alright.
Tells the group chat.
Sorry I missed this, but did seethe message three days ago.
(22:19):
Guilty.
Yeah, I am too.
Sometimes I forget that peoplecan see like read by, you know?
Other times I just, I see it andI'm in the middle of doing stuff
and then before I know it, likethe day is gone and I've
completely forgot and it's like,oh, well it's too late now, you
know?
Yeah, they can only see ifyou've had your red receipts on.
(22:42):
I think.
Yeah.
It depends on what platformyou're on.
I think I'm actually highlyresponsive.
It's usually just when I'm verybusy that I will miss messages
because I'm pretty responsive,but on occasion I do this.
Sometimes, like if I am in arecharge day and I see it and I
am like, I just don't have theenergy yet but I'll get there.
(23:06):
I'm recharging right now, like,boop, boop, boop.
Like, I'm not there yet, youknow?
I'm on life support at themoment, emotional life support.
As soon as I get off the lifesupport then I'm like, okay, now
I, I have the head space.
I can engage.
I think it's situationally justover it.
Schedules alone, time, like it'sa meeting.
(23:30):
I think that means you're overit.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think that means you'redepressed.
Or it means you're reallyneeding to work on some
boundaries.
Yeah, because I feel likeintrovert's natural state is
being alone and it's actuallyscheduling interactions.
(23:51):
Yeah.
So if you're scheduling alonetime, like it's a meeting, then
you do not have boundaries andyou're letting people like
override your life.
And or you're a work in progressand you're trying to figure it
out.
I think it just means you'reoverwhelmed.
Has one friend who knowseverything and 12 who know
nothing.
Introvert.
Introvert.
I have like a couple friendsthat know a lot about me.
(24:12):
Yeah.
And I cherish and value themforever'cause we're gonna die
with each other's secrets,because I know a lot about them
too.
Like we said earlier Right.
You have to build up trust.
So I do think there are a lot ofparts of my life that people
don't know, but it'sintentional.
Like I haven't built enoughtrust with you to share those
things.
I also think some friendshipsdon't need to know everything
(24:33):
about you.
Yeah.
I've learned that over the yearsis like some friendships have
their levels of depth and it'snot that they're not friends,
it's just like they're like atlevel one.
Will they ever reach level nine?
Probably not.
You know?
But that's okay.
A lot of people willsubsequently label them as like
acquaintances, right?
Because maybe they havedifferent values about what they
(24:55):
identify a friend as.
So I think in that respect,yeah.
I'm very conscientious aboutwhat I share and I'm working on
that.
Okay.
Cancels plans and feels zeroguilt.
Mm-hmm.
I think that means you're justover it.
Yeah.
I've spoken as a true hermitover there, Mitch.
(25:16):
I think that means you're justover it because you said
yourself.
Yeah.
Introverts sometimes can feelguilty'cause it's not that they
don't want to, it's just thatthey just don't have the
capacity for it.
This is a good example of beingjust over, is okay.
It's not necessarily a badthing, but it just is what it is
like let's just call a spade aspade.
I'm not saying no because I'm anintrovert, i'm saying no because
(25:40):
I'm setting a hard line and I'mover it.
Most people have a little guilt.
Obviously they invited you'causethey really want you there.
Or maybe if that's the dynamic,you feel a little guilt and
you're like, oh, I can't makeit.
Right.
But the zero guilt part is like,oh, they don't like you.
Okay, last one.
Hangs out but needs 72 hours torecover.
(26:00):
Introvert.
Introvert.
That is 100% introvert thing.
And I do think that with age,that time has extended.
I think before maybe I justneeded like a few hours, and now
it's like, I'll contact you inthree to five business days.
Don't text me, don't call me.
I will let you know in three tofive business days if I'm still
alive.
(26:20):
I'm gonna hit you up and makesure you got home okay and then
I'm not gonna talk to you for aweek because I'm a caring
person.
Alright.
Have you ever done any of theseintroverted confessions?
So these are like moments fromour peeps where introvert energy
is just too real.
Pretending to be on a call toavoid small talk?
(26:43):
Yeah, I did this at the marketand my phone rang.
While you were pretending to beon a call, you need to silence
that.
I didn't think it through.
This guy started talking to meand I was like, oh yeah, one
second.
And I grabbed my phone, like ifit was on silence, and I started
talking, trying to get out ofthe situation and then the phone
(27:05):
rang and his face.
Awkward.
His face was like, wow.
And I didn't know what to do.
So I froze for a second, and Ijust walked away.
I handled it so poorly and Ifelt so bad for the guy because
he looked so like, what?
I wasn't in the energy space tolike have a stranger approach
me.
To engage.
(27:25):
Sometimes you just gotta run.
How about you?
Sadly and it's not current, itis like a past job.
I used to do this a lot to avoidtalking to my coworkers.
I love that.
Because I just needed a breakand I'm like, please don't talk
(27:48):
to me.
I'm like walking outside,enjoying the walking path or
whatever and everybody thinkslike, this is a perfect time for
you to talk to me.
No, don't talk to me, right nowI'm in my time, my zone.
So I would have to pretend I wason the phone if I saw people
coming my direction.
And then that you do the, justthe wave like, oh hey, and then
(28:09):
keep going.
Because they see you and youpoint to the phone, like all
dramatic like, look, I'm on thephone right now so you can't
talk to me.
And then as soon as they wereout of like sight, I would like
put it back down.
That's wonderful.
And then keep going about myday.
When you're an introvert and yougo to events where people will
hide at the event to try to geta little recharge boost.
(28:32):
Before they continue on thenight'cause you can't go home
yet.
I've done that.
Have you done it in thebathroom?
Like, I won't hide in abathroom.
I have, yeah.
I've hidden it in the bathroom.
Did the bathroom have a lounge?
No, no, no, no.
Just you just sat on the toilet.
Okay.
It was a friend of a friend'shouse, they were throwing like a
show and it was like a artsyfartsy show a lot of like very
(28:53):
particular kinds of LA people.
I was very overwhelmed because alot of the conversations were
surface level talking about whatthey were doing in movies and
film.
So I hid in the bathroom andthey had a candle on, I put my
purse down and I sat on thebathroom toilet and I just
started to do my makeup, andthen I see smoke coming from my
(29:16):
purse and I burnt a hole throughmy leather bag because my
leather bag lit on fire in theirbathroom.
The fire alarm did not go off'cause I snuffed it super quick
but then I quickly got out ofthe bathroom and then somebody
was like, was somebody smoking?
Oh my God.
Like I was but in reality I wasjust like humming to myself
(29:42):
doing my makeup and my pursecaught on fire.
I haven't, so, yes.
I don't like being in bathrooms.
People always talk to me in thebathroom and I'm like, this is
just really not the place for usto have a conversation right
now.
And I don't wanna be rude, I'llusually try to find a space that
maybe that's outside orsomething like that, and I'll go
outside but then people areeverywhere, so it's hard to
(30:05):
avoid.
I do write texts sometimes,delete'em, write'em again,
delete it, and then never sendit.
Like, should I engage?
No, wait, no yet.
No.
Yeah, no, no.
That's like pretending to be ona call.
Same thing, just differentmethod.
(30:26):
And then at this point in mylife, I just forget at one point
and then I move on and then I'llsee like a half written text.
Why was I sending her a brisketrecipe.
Or it's like a half idea.
I never sent the other half ofthe text.
They're like, what?
What does this, what does thismean?
Okay.
Order delivering to avoidtalking to anyone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do that.
(30:46):
Especially if I'm just reallyburnt out and then I'm like,
leave it at the door.
It pisses me off when I tell adelivery person in my notes it's
very clear, do not ring mydoorbell.
Do not disturb.
And they do it anyway.
And they do it anyways and theydon't leave.
Meanwhile, I don't care if theylike ring your doorbell'cause I
(31:09):
never order here.
Oh, you don't care, they ring mydoorbell.
That's so funny.
Don't do it.
And then last sitting in the carfor 30 minutes after arriving
somewhere to mentally prepare.
This actually adds to one of thereasons why I'm late sometimes
I'm mentally preparing, okay.
It's a 45 minute preparation.
It's something necessary for allof us.
Well, here's the thing, you'realready late and then on top of
(31:30):
it, you add the 30 minutes.
So before you know it, an hourand a half has gone by.
I've done this, but it's only Ithink if it's really somewhere
that I just don't wanna be.
And I'm not in the right headspace for it or it's around
people I don't wanna be aroundnecessarily.
Then I have to like mentallyprepare, because remember I'm an
introvert, but there is a JohnWick side to me.
(31:52):
And I could fly off the handleat any moment.
So sometimes I'm like, no, thisis your friend's wedding and you
will behave.
I have to give myself a pep talkeven though you despise the man
that she's marrying.
That is not your problem andit's none of your business.
And you will be supportive andyou will smile, and you will
laugh, and you will have a goodtime.
(32:14):
And the second I get in there,I'm like, no fucking talk to me.
Piece of shit.
Oh shit.
Did I say that out loud?
Yeah.
My inner thoughts, we got myouter thoughts and it's the
whole thing.
You're all talking to theirgrandma.
She's like, what?
She's like, that's my grandson.
Like, well, what a shame.
You did a horrible job.
Shame on you.
Yeah.
So sometimes it's that kind ofmental preparation, like I have
(32:37):
to check myself.
Yeah.
And like, get ready, you know?
No, I don't.
If I'm going to do somethingwith people, I like being around
and like certain friends andfamily, like it's gonna be a
good time.
So I'm fine, I don't need toprepare.
Sometimes it's a wild ride andit's not what I ask for, but it
is what it is.
If it's my close, close circle,which is only five people, then
(32:59):
I'm fine.
But if it's with people that arenot those five people, then i'm
preparing, I gotta prepare,gotta prepare.
And this is for my safety, notyours.
It's for everyone involved.
I really wanna hear people'slike iconic introvert moments
that are like funny anddramatic, maybe even healing.
(33:20):
So if you've got one, send it tous.
As an introvert, what I findfascinating are introverts who
are also super independent andwill like travel solo, like go
on vacation.
Like Anthony Bourdain.
Yeah.
That's real introvert life,nevermind the 27 people in this
(33:43):
production crew.
Wait, wait, no, no, no.
The one dude that would alwaysbe in nature that you guys would
watch all the time and he wouldbe like hanging off cliffs.
Bear girls.
Yes.
He would get covered byavalanches, he'd be like This
how you survive in the avalancheget naked.
Yeah.
And you're like, what is thisfool doing?
That dude is introverted.
He's quirky.
He's a solo child.
He's a single child for sure.
(34:05):
1000%.
As an introvert who hasdeveloped confidence in myself.
I enjoy a solo coffee run.
Sometimes a nice sit down lunch,I'll do that.
Go to a movie by myself.
I'll do that.
Take a full on like two weekvacation in another country
alone probably not.
When you're solo vacationingwithout telling anyone, like,
that's kind of wild.
(34:26):
But like going up to themountains, I had done that for
many, many moons, that was likemy thing.
I would go up to the mountainsby myself with my camera.
I would go to ghost towns bymyself sometimes.
I went hiking in the snow a fewtimes by myself.
None of these things I wouldadvise.
So what's your recharge ritual?
After a long social day?
(34:48):
I'll get Chinese food, I'll puton a good movie, I'll put on a
good record, whatever it mightbe and I just chill out and
check out.
Or sometimes I game because I'ma gamer as well.
I don't know if they're healthycoping mechanisms.
I think some of them are.
What about you?
Number one, I'm very quiet.
I don't wanna talk to anybody.
Sorry to my loved ones whosometimes get that side of me,
(35:10):
but they'll be like, oh my God,tell us about everything you did
today and I'm like, no.
Try again tomorrow.
I go upstairs to my bed'causethat's my favorite place.
I'll get super cozy.
Get myself some snackies,something to drink.
The goal is to like, not have toleave the bed, you know?
Yeah.
So I'll bring everything with methat I think I need, including
(35:31):
Advil, and then I'll watch sometv.
And it depends, like sometimesif I'm feeling really drained, I
love a good HGTV show becausethere's something really nice
about watching them completesomething.
Like a project and be creative.
And I really love watchingthose, or something funny, like
(35:51):
I'll need something funny that Ican watch that's entertaining,
but not too serious.
I want it to be simple.
So it really just depends onmood.
Sometimes I'll just listen tomusic.
Interestingly enough, I don'tread after a long day.
Me either.
Because I do feel like mycreativity gets a little tapped
too.
And you do need to tap in yourcreative brain when you read to
(36:14):
really enjoy it.
I also like a good shower.
There's something very cleansingabout water and just kind of
like washing away the day ofexhaustion.
I also enjoy, apparently I havea lot of rituals.
Maybe a mask.
Maybe an eye mask.
Doing your nighttime routine.
Like nighttime routine.
A little self-care so I can berefreshed.
My family knows that when theysee me get super cozy and they
(36:36):
can see my whole setup they'relike uhoh, she's done for the
day.
That's good.
That's love right there.
Who are some, surprisinglyintroverted celebrities?
What about, our fan favorite,dark, mysterious, but cool guy
Keanu Reeves, John Wick.
I love Keanu Reeves.
(36:57):
I think we said this earlier.
Yes.
One of my favorites ever.
Keanu Reeves actor, obviouslyvery well known, and famously
known for his privacy and alsohis kindness.
I almost feel like John Wick isprobably really close to his
personality.
I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Meryl Streep actor love her,known for depth, privacy and
introspection.
(37:18):
Joaquin Phoenix, another greatactor avoids the spotlight and
often discusses his discomfortwith fame.
One of them that I'm reallysurprised with is Tom Hanks.
It states that he's like veryobservant and I could see that
given like some of the roleshe's played.
Yeah.
And he, loves being a homebody.
I mean, his wife is wonderful.
Harrison Ford.
Yeah.
(37:39):
Fan favorite, personal favorite.
He's the epitome of, I'm justover it.
There's a episode where he hadDavid Blaine in his house doing
Magic.
Everyone watch that, it is themost entertaining and funniest
thing ever and he'sunapologetic, he's like, get the
hell outta my house you're awitch.
I also love David Blaine, buthe's clearly an extrovert.
No, David Blaine's an introvert.
(37:59):
No.
Yeah, 100% if you watch his newshow, it's on National
Geographic, where he travels todifferent countries to see like
magic and then he tries newthings.
You get a little more of hispersonality and he is an
introvert.
He was alone a lot and heappreciates his quiet time and
his solitude.
Very interesting.
Another one that reallysurprised me, Barack Obama.
(38:20):
I'm not surprised by that.
Really, I would imagine becausehe's so charismatic, that he's
just always energized aroundpeople.
I just imagined him growing upand being that social guy.
Mm-hmm.
That like could just be in anyspace and like, you know.
I could see that, that person isprobably Michelle Obama.
(38:42):
More extrovert.
More extroverted, but she hasstrong boundaries.
She has this energy to herthat's like so exciting and nice
and I think with Barack, heseems like he's more of the kind
of person that's in his head,critical thinker, consistently
like observant.
And Barack has been quoted assaying that he's more reflective
(39:03):
and likes his quiet time andthat Michelle is the social one.
Michelle, she just has this likebeautiful energy.
She commands a space, shecommands a room.
I love her.
She's a great role model.
and I love seeing her in popculture more because I think her
presence is so powerful.
And yeah, so she's one extrovertI give two thumbs up too.
(39:24):
Big fan, big fan.
Introverts are kind of likeemotional ninjas.
We are quiet, powerful, andobservant.
So I think even if you know howto tap into your introvert
energy.
You can tap into all of thesecool things.
And we have a range.
I could go from analyzing themeaning of life to ignoring a
phone call in 0.2 seconds.
(39:45):
Alright.
Well, thanks for joining ustoday.
And always remember if you're anintrovert, it's a superpower.
Your energy doesn't need to beloud to be powerful.
Embrace the quiet, protect yourpeace, and never feel bad for
choosing yourself.
Whether you're a cozy homebody,or a social butterfly in
disguise, being an introvert isa gift.
(40:06):
It's soft power, it's presence,and it's real.
If you enjoyed this episode,please subscribe, share, and
leave us a review.
It helps more people find thepod and keep the conversation
going.
Until next time.
Bye bye.
Welcome back to Andy and Mitch,the podcast.
(00:02):
Were two sisters, twogenerations, and way too many
unread texts.
Come together.
If your ideal weekend iscanceling plans and staying
home, this episode is your loveletter.
Today we're diving into theunexpected perks of being an
introvert.
Not the boring dictionarydefinition of introvert, but the
real stuff.
(00:23):
Whether you recharge solo,dread, small talk, or have an
inner world rich enough to rivalyour favorite telenovela, this
one's for you.
Plus we've got a little game,some introvert confessions, and
is that an introvert thing orare we just dramatic?
Let's dive in.
Introverts unite, butseparately.
(00:44):
In our own homes.
Okay, so let's just start here.
What actually is an introvert?
A relatable definition isintroverts are people who
typically thrive in their owncompany.
Preferred depth over small talk,and often feel drained after too
much socializing.
(01:05):
Tend to be deep thinkers, veryintrospective, self-aware, but
at the same time, it's like youcan get really overstimulated
when there's too much noise, toomuch activity or high energy
settings that you're in for along period of time.
We have to take socializing andother humans in small doses.
(01:25):
It's safe to say we're bothintroverts.
You don't think you're anintrovert?
I'm an omnivert.
An omnivert is a person who canbe extremely outgoing in some
situations and very reserved orintrospective in others.
You're an ambivert.
I actually at heart am anintrovert but I think through
societal enrichment.
(01:47):
AKA responsibilities.
I've learned how to be inambivert.
So move between being anintroverted state into being an
extroverted state, and you canadapt to both environments
depending on the situation, yourmood or your energy level.
So sometimes we do enjoysocializing but at the same
(02:09):
time, I also require a need myalone time, so I can thrive in a
group, but I prefer solitude.
Yes.
As where I identify more as anomnivert, which is someone who
displays both introverted andextroverted traits, but not
necessarily in balance.
Rather they swing between thetwo extremes depending on the
(02:31):
situation, the mood or theenvironment, so they can be
adaptable but typically whenthey are leaning into their
extroverted tendencies.
It's usually in environmentswhere it's like a very high
energetic situation.
Alright, let's do a little quiz.
How introverted are you?
Is the quiz on a scale fromsocial butterfly to please don't
(02:54):
call me.
So we're gonna answer fivequestions, yes or no to these
five questions.
And then we'll tally and seewhere we land.
Let's test this theory if we'rereally who we think we are.
Okay.
Question number one, do you getexcited when plans get canceled?
Yes.
Yes, 100% If you wanna cancel,like that's fine, I don't care.
(03:15):
Just don't even invite her inthe first place.
I'll show up but if you tell methat you wanna just stay at home
and just chill and watch TV byyourself, I'll be like, okay,
cool.
See you next month.
And also why are extrovertshaters?
I've heard this before well,it's'cause we always invite you
and you never come.
Okay but that's my choice, don'tbe such a hater.
Yeah.
Okay, question number two.
(03:35):
Do you need time alone afterhanging out with people you
love?
Yeah.
It depends on the energy thepeople I love are bringing,
'cause if the people I love arebringing a lot of energy and
they're like in a good space, Idon't need that much rest the
next day.
But if they're like drained,they're down and out, I need
like three days.
(03:55):
Where like real extroverts, justkind of keep going, you know?
Yeah.
Okay.
Question number three.
Do you rehearse what you'regoing to say before making a
phone call?
Not when it's like somebody I'mreally close with, like for you
or for like, some of my closerpeople, I won't rehearse, they
get what they get.
And it doesn't make any sense.
(04:16):
They're like trying to decipherme as we go.
Yeah.
I'm like, why are you calling meright now?
But if it's like for people Ijust met, sometimes I'm like,
I'll be like, hey, hey.
Hello.
Hello.
Not necessarily rehearsing whatI'm telling them, but I'm
rehearsing my introduction.
What about you?
That's even better.
(04:37):
No, I don't rehearse.
If it's something that's reallyimportant to me that I don't
wanna forget but just'cause withage, I tend to forget a lot of
things.
I'll just kind of make bulletpoints in my head, make sure you
tell them this, this, and this.
And then I just wing it fromthere.
And I'm cool with it.
Okay.
Question number four.
Do you feel more alive after asolo coffee run than a crowded
(04:59):
brunch?
1000%.
Yeah, for sure.
There's something just reallyinvigorating and beautiful about
going to get coffee by yourself.
It's so wonderful, you get toorder what you want.
You could order a pastry, noone's there to judge you.
Sometimes you put on like a realcute outfit and you're just
like, man, amazing.
Take yourself out'cause you'reworth it.
Okay.
Question number five.
(05:19):
Do you pretend to be asleep whensomeone knocks unexpectedly?
We're uncovering some veryimportant information here,
especially for Mitch, becauseyou also pretend to be asleep
when someone calls youunexpectedly.
Sometimes.
Oh, I fell asleep.
Don't lie to me, I saw yourinspirational post of your dog.
(05:43):
So if you got zero to one,you're an extroverted icon.
Two to three, which is what Igot.
Three ambivert energy, you'rethe social chameleon.
You just don't book two eventsin one day.
That's true.
If you got four classicintrovert, you love people just
from a comfortable emotionaldistance.
(06:05):
And if you got five, which Mitchdid, certified hermit vibes,
your spirit animal is a do notdisturb sign.
Classic.
Wow.
I love a good quiz.
This is why we do them, becauseit's like just so much wisdom
dropped on us real fast.
(06:26):
I'm crying.
Okay, so I think we'veestablished that you're actually
an extrovert turned hermit.
And so your hashtag is, I haveretired from society, don't me.
Mine is I love you but alsoplease leave by eight.
Let's get into the good stuff,some of the perks of being an
(06:48):
introvert and or tapping intoyour introvert energy.
You recharge solo, which meansyou're never bored with
yourself.
That's true, cause we're wildlycreative.
We have these like, whatpsychologists refer to as the
mind mansion.
And true introverts tend tocreate like a world of their own
inside their mind.
So because of that, it's like anadventure all the time.
(07:11):
All the time with yourself.
My mind mansion, she pretty,she's real big.
The creative element also comeswith like that problem solving
brain.
So we're always imagining thepossibilities and how to like
shift and mold and move andchange within them.
Yeah.
Totally.
Alright.
Deep convos over small talkalways.
(07:31):
Yes.
This is true for all introvertsI have met that are actually
introverts.
We prefer real information andreal conversation versus like
superficial connection.
We're looking for like, let'sunpack this meaning of life
right now.
In the next 10 minutes.
And I know we just met.
(07:52):
It's true, introversion isn'tthe same as shyness and a lot of
people conflate the two.
Yeah.
And as a true introvert, I don'tlike small talk, and we've
talked about this before, butlike.
I had to learn how to becomegood at it by the nature of what
I do and being a professional.
But it's a boring af to me andlike I wanna hear something
(08:14):
real.
I wanna have like a real goodconversation with people, even
if it's a short one.
Yes.
And I'm okay with like smalltalk a little, but it has to
have some depth at some point.
Otherwise I just tune you out.
Boundaries come naturally, youjust don't play fake.
Yeah,'cause we have to set themall world die.
As a hermit I'll shrivel up.
(08:37):
If we don't set the boundaries,we, you will drain us to death,
like energy vampires and we willdie.
It's a survival instinctbasically.
Are you fake?
I gotta go.
Like all of a sudden I can'tbreathe.
I can't breathe around you.
Like, oh God, does anybody elsefeeling like they wanna throw
up?
You observe everything, you area human lie detector.
Yes and for a long time I didn'trealize that this was an
(09:03):
introvert superpower, but alsopart of like my personality
superpower.
Until I met other people whowere older and more established.
Who taught me this lesson thatlike I engage with others, using
much more than just language,language is like the last thing
I'm really paying attention to.
Mm-hmm.
(09:23):
And I think this is true forhuman engagement, but especially
for certain personality types,it's everything.
Like we're feeling the energy ofthe room and I always thought,
oh, that's silly.
And I wouldn't talk about it toomuch out loud until a mentor I
had was like, no, this is asuperpower.
This is part of how you engagein the world and how you take in
(09:43):
information and you're payingattention to all the things that
people are not saying.
Yeah and introverts are oftenreally great listeners.
That is one of the elements thatmakes it a superpower, we're so
incredibly in tune that's wherewe catch the errors.
Like one of the greatest thingsthat our father told me.
If you really wanna know whosomebody is, just listen to
them.
(10:04):
They will tell you exactly whothey are and exactly what they
want, people will always tellyou and show you who they are,
coupled together.
That's part of why we are thehuman lie detectors that we are,
we critically think and analyzethings and then we respond.
Yeah and I'll notice like aninflection in the way somebody's
talking.
Like the pitch goes up and down,the breath may change, the eye
(10:27):
movement changes.
And I'm like, Hmm, notice that.
What does that mean?
I think sometimes I'm like that.
I rely heavily on patterns, so Iwon't just think like in the
moment that maybe something'sdifferent.
Is this something that they doover a consistent amount of
time?
Where I'm being hypervigilantbut it's like a feeling, like I
actually feel it on my skinsometimes.
My brain just goes, something'sweird.
And again, if you're in tune,you can notice that stuff easy.
(10:50):
And the more you pay attention,the easier it is for you to
catch.
Social media breaks areself-care, not strategy.
So social media for me can feela lot like going to a large
event or being around a lot ofpeople.
Because it's too much, too fastand it can become overwhelming
(11:10):
and the feeling is the same.
So if I am taking a break fromsocial media, it's not because
I'm trying to practice somestrategy, it's just that I
actually need to step away.
I know sometimes it can beoverwhelming with social media,
especially depending on whatyour algorithm is feeding you,
it's like, oh, I gotta put myphone away, like forever, I
think.
Or sometimes I just get a bunchof people cooking things like
(11:33):
grandma's making their dishes.
And I'm like, this is sosoothing.
Your home is a Sacred Haven,candles, blankets, and snacks.
Yes.
I was gonna say, I don't havecandles.
But I do have blankets andsnacks and like a lot of them.
For sure.
We just bought a whole bag ofsnacks.
That's true.
Just for this podcast.
Yeah, 100% my favorite place inmy home is my bed.
(11:59):
Like, it's so cozy.
I love watching TV in bed, and Ihave a bed that like adjusts, so
I can sit up and I get realcomfy, put my legs up, get my
cozy weighted blanket and I canstay there all day long.
That's like my perfect introvertrecovery space.
You're like the queen of cozy.
There's a meme that says, I payso much in rent, i'm gonna enjoy
(12:19):
every aspect of my home.
This is my home.
I should be able to have timewith it alone, leave me be
people.
What about people feel safearound you because you're a good
listener.
I would say yes.
And also on a friendship level,like introverts tend to build
fewer but deeper friendships, sothey don't have as many close
(12:40):
friends, but their closestfriends tend to be much deeper
than the average friendship.
In the same vein of what you'retalking about,'cause you
mentioned this earlier in ourprevious conversation, because
of an introvert's ability to bea good listener and to be able
to take information in quietly,they also make great leaders.
According to Harvard BusinessSchool introverted leaders often
(13:02):
deliver better outcomes,especially when leading
proactive teams'cause they'remore likely to listen and
encourage others' ideas andallow others to take up space.
Introverted leaders oftenoutperform extroverted ones,
especially when they build theseproactive teams.
And the main reason is becausethey do not feel that they need
to dominate any space, whichgives their team the ability to
(13:26):
grow.
100% I don't need to be thecenter of attention.
I need my team to feel like theycan be the best that they can be
in the space and know thatthey're supported.
I do believe if you give peoplethe space, they will rise to the
occasion.
And it's because they want to.
Not because they feel like theyhave to or you're forcing them
(13:46):
to.
And when they can do it thatway, it tends to be very
creative.
You tend to get so many greatthings out of your people when
you give them the space to beable to do it right?
And leaders who need to be thecenter of attention or need to
be, very commanding at the topof a hierarchy, don't get that
same kind of loyalty andresponse and output from the
(14:08):
people that work for them.
And I can say that people thattend to feel like they need to
consistently control ormicromanage, fall short often.
Yeah.
It's not worth that.
And the quiet, strong leaderswho know that they can instill
great values and help peoplereach their best potential by
(14:28):
allowing them to shine and to dothe work and grow at their own
pace.
They're the most memorable,that's for sure.
And they tend to be the onesthat leave and instill values in
others so that they can maybeeven follow the path and become
great leaders themselves.
Great leaders make greatleaders.
We should put that on a piece ofwood and hang it.
I'm gonna put it on a t-shirt.
(14:50):
In the same vein of what youwere just talking about, Mitch,
introverts are often loyal AFfriends.
Too loyal.
Sometimes to a fault that could,this could be the shadow side of
introversion sometimes.
Because we don't wanna walk awayand we've already invested in
you.
We've invested in thisfriendship.
It means something to us.
(15:11):
So it's not something that we'rejust willing to throw away and
move on to do the work again, tofind a new friend because it's a
lot of work.
I totally agree with you.
And another thing that's reallyimportant for people to take
into consideration is thatbuilding long lasting
friendships with introverts areworth it but they do take time.
(15:32):
Many introverts describe findinga true friend as finally being
able to exhale.
They really quite often find ithard to open up to people
because they can't really trustthem right away.
But once they do trust you, youhave a friend for life.
Also I will second, the, like ittakes a long time for us to give
(15:54):
you trust because I have friendsthat I've had friendships with
for over five years, maybe adecade or more, and there's
still things they don't knowabout me.
So because they haven't reachedthat level yet, it's like a
video game.
Alright.
As an introvert, you areselectively social and that is a
flex.
I really think that this is asuperpower because, being
(16:14):
selectively social means thatyou put premiums on the
relationships you invest in.
And so I think it's a superpowerto be the kind of person that
puts a lot of initiative andintention in the way that they
choose to love and show up forthe people that they are rooting
for and that they enjoy beingaround.
Another thing about an introvertis that when they choose to show
(16:37):
up for you, they usually don'tshow up and half ass it.
They're showing up because theycan be present in the moment.
I agree if I'm showing up, I'mgonna give you a hundred percent
of what I've got that day.
Now mind you, that a hundredpercent might just be 35% of my
normal functioning, but that'sokay, i'm gonna give you all
that, 35%.
35% is a lot.
(16:57):
Because I've made a choice.
I've actually left my home, putreal clothes on makeup and
probably some sort of heel orplatform shoe.
And I'm about to be realuncomfortable for you because I
care about you and I'm here.
I'm gonna show up and I'm gonnagive you my best.
I'm gonna slide on my ambivertscale.
And then I'm gonna go home andbe a hermit for two days
(17:20):
following.
So since we're talking aboutintroverts, I wanna talk about
some introverted characters frombooks, tv, and film.
Frodo Baggins as an introvert.
Yeah, I can see that.
So Sam Wise an extrovert.
Yes.
Frodo is sensitive andthoughtful.
Frodo is not a natural leader orwarrior but he bears an enormous
burden with quiet resilience.
(17:42):
Another classic introvert on TV,Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons
intellectual, misunderstood, andthe Happiest with a saxophone or
a book.
And Bart is the extrovert.
Yes.
Now someone that's a little bitmore complex.
Dexter Morgan from Dexter.
he was also a serial.
He was also a sociopath.
(18:02):
Moral morally complex, ultraprivate and always inside his
own head, though.
Definitely on the darker end ofthe introvert scale.
Yeah.
You think so?
So for movies, Ameli?
Shy, quirky and full of wonder,ameli changes lives quietly,
never craving attention, justconnection.
Literally one of the best moviesever, if you've never seen
(18:24):
Ameli, please go watch it.
Bruce Banner, the Hulk from theMarvel Cinematic Universe.
Reserved and Cerebral, bannerprefers science to social
science until provoked.
Yeah, I think mark Ruffo, who'sthe actor that plays the more
recent, Bruce Banner and Hulkdoes a really good job of
(18:45):
showing his character as more ofan introvert.
No team only, only Hulk.
Yeah and it does say untilprovoked, which.
It does make you kind of takepause and like, wait, can
introverts be angry?
Yes, they can.
Okay, remy from Rati.
Uh, love Remy.
A rat with a passion for cookingwho keeps to himself for obvious
reasons.
(19:05):
Remy works best in solitude andprefers to let his work speak
for himself.
Well, here's the thing aboutRemy is that he has such an
awareness that nobody else inhis community has he's like a
little bit more evolved.
It's actually one of my mostfavorite Disney movies.
You love that movie.
And last but not least, Shrekfrom Shrek.
(19:26):
Is he an introvert or a hermit?
He is a hermit, cranky andsolitary by choice.
Shrek just wants his swamp back,but like many introverts, he
ends up forming meaningfulbonds, even though he was
extremely reluctant.
Alright, sometimes it's kind ofhard to tell if things that
we're doing or specificscenarios are us being
(19:49):
introverted or us just beingover it because it's a fine line
between the two, right?
Behavior analysis, is it classicintrovert behavior or are these
just moments that we're justdone with people?
Leaves a party without sayinggoodbye.
(20:10):
Have you ever done this?
Yeah, a few times.
I have too but I will putminimal effort into finding the
host.
If I know the host or if there'speople that I need to say
goodbye to.
And if it's gonna take too mucheffort to go track them down,
then I'm just like, I'm justgonna go.
Yeah, if they're around a lot ofpeople or talking, I almost feel
(20:32):
like I'm not important enough togo interrupt them.
And so I'm like, I'll just leaveand I'll just see them later.
And it has been brought to myattention after the fact that
people thought I was reallyrude.
So that was a learning lessonfor me.
There's been times where I'veshowed up to things and didn't
even say hi or bye.
(20:53):
I've just been there.
And then they've seen me, butthey didn't get a chance to say
hi to me or bye to me, and I'vejust left.
I think true introverts would belike, I didn't even go to the
party to begin with.
I have a lot of those as wellwhere I'm like, yeah, for sure,
i'm going.
And then I can't get myself togo.
And explaining that to someoneis really hard sometimes because
I feel like I let them down.
(21:13):
Mm-hmm.
And then I'm like I justcouldn't I think in general, if
you're leaving a party withoutsaying goodbye, you're probably
just over it at that point intime.
I'm gonna say it's'cause you'reintroverted.
Yeah.
Okay.
Brings noise cancelingheadphones to brunch.
That's just rude.
If there's no instance ofneurodivergence then, then it is
(21:36):
just you being a jackass.
I don't think I've ever been tobrunch or dinner with somebody
who's like, put headphones on.
Yeah.
I would just leave.
The idea of a brunch is to gosocialize and to be in an
environment where there's a lotof people socializing and having
a good time.
So if you show up and you haveanything to distract you and or
(21:58):
mute the people you're with,then you're forced to be there.
That's wild.
I already get peeved when peopleare on their phone the entire
time.
It's like, why am I here?
I didn't come here to watch you.
True.
Alright.
Tells the group chat.
Sorry I missed this, but did seethe message three days ago.
(22:19):
Guilty.
Yeah, I am too.
Sometimes I forget that peoplecan see like read by, you know?
Other times I just, I see it andI'm in the middle of doing stuff
and then before I know it, likethe day is gone and I've
completely forgot and it's like,oh, well it's too late now, you
know?
Yeah, they can only see ifyou've had your red receipts on.
(22:42):
I think.
Yeah.
It depends on what platformyou're on.
I think I'm actually highlyresponsive.
It's usually just when I'm verybusy that I will miss messages
because I'm pretty responsive,but on occasion I do this.
Sometimes, like if I am in arecharge day and I see it and I
am like, I just don't have theenergy yet but I'll get there.
(23:06):
I'm recharging right now, like,boop, boop, boop.
Like, I'm not there yet, youknow?
I'm on life support at themoment, emotional life support.
As soon as I get off the lifesupport then I'm like, okay, now
I, I have the head space.
I can engage.
I think it's situationally justover it.
Schedules alone, time, like it'sa meeting.
(23:30):
I think that means you're overit.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think that means you'redepressed.
Or it means you're reallyneeding to work on some
boundaries.
Yeah, because I feel likeintrovert's natural state is
being alone and it's actuallyscheduling interactions.
(23:51):
Yeah.
So if you're scheduling alonetime, like it's a meeting, then
you do not have boundaries andyou're letting people like
override your life.
And or you're a work in progressand you're trying to figure it
out.
I think it just means you'reoverwhelmed.
Has one friend who knowseverything and 12 who know
nothing.
Introvert.
Introvert.
I have like a couple friendsthat know a lot about me.
(24:12):
Yeah.
And I cherish and value themforever'cause we're gonna die
with each other's secrets,because I know a lot about them
too.
Like we said earlier Right.
You have to build up trust.
So I do think there are a lot ofparts of my life that people
don't know, but it'sintentional.
Like I haven't built enoughtrust with you to share those
things.
I also think some friendshipsdon't need to know everything
(24:33):
about you.
Yeah.
I've learned that over the yearsis like some friendships have
their levels of depth and it'snot that they're not friends,
it's just like they're like atlevel one.
Will they ever reach level nine?
Probably not.
You know?
But that's okay.
A lot of people willsubsequently label them as like
acquaintances, right?
Because maybe they havedifferent values about what they
(24:55):
identify a friend as.
So I think in that respect,yeah.
I'm very conscientious aboutwhat I share and I'm working on
that.
Okay.
Cancels plans and feels zeroguilt.
Mm-hmm.
I think that means you're justover it.
Yeah.
I've spoken as a true hermitover there, Mitch.
(25:16):
I think that means you're justover it because you said
yourself.
Yeah.
Introverts sometimes can feelguilty'cause it's not that they
don't want to, it's just thatthey just don't have the
capacity for it.
This is a good example of beingjust over, is okay.
It's not necessarily a badthing, but it just is what it is
like let's just call a spade aspade.
I'm not saying no because I'm anintrovert, i'm saying no because
(25:40):
I'm setting a hard line and I'mover it.
Most people have a little guilt.
Obviously they invited you'causethey really want you there.
Or maybe if that's the dynamic,you feel a little guilt and
you're like, oh, I can't makeit.
Right.
But the zero guilt part is like,oh, they don't like you.
Okay, last one.
Hangs out but needs 72 hours torecover.
(26:00):
Introvert.
Introvert.
That is 100% introvert thing.
And I do think that with age,that time has extended.
I think before maybe I justneeded like a few hours, and now
it's like, I'll contact you inthree to five business days.
Don't text me, don't call me.
I will let you know in three tofive business days if I'm still
alive.
(26:20):
I'm gonna hit you up and makesure you got home okay and then
I'm not gonna talk to you for aweek because I'm a caring
person.
Alright.
Have you ever done any of theseintroverted confessions?
So these are like moments fromour peeps where introvert energy
is just too real.
Pretending to be on a call toavoid small talk?
(26:43):
Yeah, I did this at the marketand my phone rang.
While you were pretending to beon a call, you need to silence
that.
I didn't think it through.
This guy started talking to meand I was like, oh yeah, one
second.
And I grabbed my phone, like ifit was on silence, and I started
talking, trying to get out ofthe situation and then the phone
(27:05):
rang and his face.
Awkward.
His face was like, wow.
And I didn't know what to do.
So I froze for a second, and Ijust walked away.
I handled it so poorly and Ifelt so bad for the guy because
he looked so like, what?
I wasn't in the energy space tolike have a stranger approach
me.
To engage.
(27:25):
Sometimes you just gotta run.
How about you?
Sadly and it's not current, itis like a past job.
I used to do this a lot to avoidtalking to my coworkers.
I love that.
Because I just needed a breakand I'm like, please don't talk
(27:48):
to me.
I'm like walking outside,enjoying the walking path or
whatever and everybody thinkslike, this is a perfect time for
you to talk to me.
No, don't talk to me, right nowI'm in my time, my zone.
So I would have to pretend I wason the phone if I saw people
coming my direction.
And then that you do the, justthe wave like, oh hey, and then
(28:09):
keep going.
Because they see you and youpoint to the phone, like all
dramatic like, look, I'm on thephone right now so you can't
talk to me.
And then as soon as they wereout of like sight, I would like
put it back down.
That's wonderful.
And then keep going about myday.
When you're an introvert and yougo to events where people will
hide at the event to try to geta little recharge boost.
(28:32):
Before they continue on thenight'cause you can't go home
yet.
I've done that.
Have you done it in thebathroom?
Like, I won't hide in abathroom.
I have, yeah.
I've hidden it in the bathroom.
Did the bathroom have a lounge?
No, no, no, no.
Just you just sat on the toilet.
Okay.
It was a friend of a friend'shouse, they were throwing like a
show and it was like a artsyfartsy show a lot of like very
(28:53):
particular kinds of LA people.
I was very overwhelmed because alot of the conversations were
surface level talking about whatthey were doing in movies and
film.
So I hid in the bathroom andthey had a candle on, I put my
purse down and I sat on thebathroom toilet and I just
started to do my makeup, andthen I see smoke coming from my
(29:16):
purse and I burnt a hole throughmy leather bag because my
leather bag lit on fire in theirbathroom.
The fire alarm did not go off'cause I snuffed it super quick
but then I quickly got out ofthe bathroom and then somebody
was like, was somebody smoking?
Oh my God.
Like I was but in reality I wasjust like humming to myself
(29:42):
doing my makeup and my pursecaught on fire.
I haven't, so, yes.
I don't like being in bathrooms.
People always talk to me in thebathroom and I'm like, this is
just really not the place for usto have a conversation right
now.
And I don't wanna be rude, I'llusually try to find a space that
maybe that's outside orsomething like that, and I'll go
outside but then people areeverywhere, so it's hard to
(30:05):
avoid.
I do write texts sometimes,delete'em, write'em again,
delete it, and then never sendit.
Like, should I engage?
No, wait, no yet.
No.
Yeah, no, no.
That's like pretending to be ona call.
Same thing, just differentmethod.
(30:26):
And then at this point in mylife, I just forget at one point
and then I move on and then I'llsee like a half written text.
Why was I sending her a brisketrecipe.
Or it's like a half idea.
I never sent the other half ofthe text.
They're like, what?
What does this, what does thismean?
Okay.
Order delivering to avoidtalking to anyone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do that.
(30:46):
Especially if I'm just reallyburnt out and then I'm like,
leave it at the door.
It pisses me off when I tell adelivery person in my notes it's
very clear, do not ring mydoorbell.
Do not disturb.
And they do it anyway.
And they do it anyways and theydon't leave.
Meanwhile, I don't care if theylike ring your doorbell'cause I
(31:09):
never order here.
Oh, you don't care, they ring mydoorbell.
That's so funny.
Don't do it.
And then last sitting in the carfor 30 minutes after arriving
somewhere to mentally prepare.
This actually adds to one of thereasons why I'm late sometimes
I'm mentally preparing, okay.
It's a 45 minute preparation.
It's something necessary for allof us.
Well, here's the thing, you'realready late and then on top of
(31:30):
it, you add the 30 minutes.
So before you know it, an hourand a half has gone by.
I've done this, but it's only Ithink if it's really somewhere
that I just don't wanna be.
And I'm not in the right headspace for it or it's around
people I don't wanna be aroundnecessarily.
Then I have to like mentallyprepare, because remember I'm an
introvert, but there is a JohnWick side to me.
(31:52):
And I could fly off the handleat any moment.
So sometimes I'm like, no, thisis your friend's wedding and you
will behave.
I have to give myself a pep talkeven though you despise the man
that she's marrying.
That is not your problem andit's none of your business.
And you will be supportive andyou will smile, and you will
laugh, and you will have a goodtime.
(32:14):
And the second I get in there,I'm like, no fucking talk to me.
Piece of shit.
Oh shit.
Did I say that out loud?
Yeah.
My inner thoughts, we got myouter thoughts and it's the
whole thing.
You're all talking to theirgrandma.
She's like, what?
She's like, that's my grandson.
Like, well, what a shame.
You did a horrible job.
Shame on you.
Yeah.
So sometimes it's that kind ofmental preparation, like I have
(32:37):
to check myself.
Yeah.
And like, get ready, you know?
No, I don't.
If I'm going to do somethingwith people, I like being around
and like certain friends andfamily, like it's gonna be a
good time.
So I'm fine, I don't need toprepare.
Sometimes it's a wild ride andit's not what I ask for, but it
is what it is.
If it's my close, close circle,which is only five people, then
(32:59):
I'm fine.
But if it's with people that arenot those five people, then i'm
preparing, I gotta prepare,gotta prepare.
And this is for my safety, notyours.
It's for everyone involved.
I really wanna hear people'slike iconic introvert moments
that are like funny anddramatic, maybe even healing.
(33:20):
So if you've got one, send it tous.
As an introvert, what I findfascinating are introverts who
are also super independent andwill like travel solo, like go
on vacation.
Like Anthony Bourdain.
Yeah.
That's real introvert life,nevermind the 27 people in this
(33:43):
production crew.
Wait, wait, no, no, no.
The one dude that would alwaysbe in nature that you guys would
watch all the time and he wouldbe like hanging off cliffs.
Bear girls.
Yes.
He would get covered byavalanches, he'd be like This
how you survive in the avalancheget naked.
Yeah.
And you're like, what is thisfool doing?
That dude is introverted.
He's quirky.
He's a solo child.
He's a single child for sure.
(34:05):
1000%.
As an introvert who hasdeveloped confidence in myself.
I enjoy a solo coffee run.
Sometimes a nice sit down lunch,I'll do that.
Go to a movie by myself.
I'll do that.
Take a full on like two weekvacation in another country
alone probably not.
When you're solo vacationingwithout telling anyone, like,
that's kind of wild.
(34:26):
But like going up to themountains, I had done that for
many, many moons, that was likemy thing.
I would go up to the mountainsby myself with my camera.
I would go to ghost towns bymyself sometimes.
I went hiking in the snow a fewtimes by myself.
None of these things I wouldadvise.
So what's your recharge ritual?
After a long social day?
(34:48):
I'll get Chinese food, I'll puton a good movie, I'll put on a
good record, whatever it mightbe and I just chill out and
check out.
Or sometimes I game because I'ma gamer as well.
I don't know if they're healthycoping mechanisms.
I think some of them are.
What about you?
Number one, I'm very quiet.
I don't wanna talk to anybody.
Sorry to my loved ones whosometimes get that side of me,
(35:10):
but they'll be like, oh my God,tell us about everything you did
today and I'm like, no.
Try again tomorrow.
I go upstairs to my bed'causethat's my favorite place.
I'll get super cozy.
Get myself some snackies,something to drink.
The goal is to like, not have toleave the bed, you know?
Yeah.
So I'll bring everything with methat I think I need, including
(35:31):
Advil, and then I'll watch sometv.
And it depends, like sometimesif I'm feeling really drained, I
love a good HGTV show becausethere's something really nice
about watching them completesomething.
Like a project and be creative.
And I really love watchingthose, or something funny, like
(35:51):
I'll need something funny that Ican watch that's entertaining,
but not too serious.
I want it to be simple.
So it really just depends onmood.
Sometimes I'll just listen tomusic.
Interestingly enough, I don'tread after a long day.
Me either.
Because I do feel like mycreativity gets a little tapped
too.
And you do need to tap in yourcreative brain when you read to
(36:14):
really enjoy it.
I also like a good shower.
There's something very cleansingabout water and just kind of
like washing away the day ofexhaustion.
I also enjoy, apparently I havea lot of rituals.
Maybe a mask.
Maybe an eye mask.
Doing your nighttime routine.
Like nighttime routine.
A little self-care so I can berefreshed.
My family knows that when theysee me get super cozy and they
(36:36):
can see my whole setup they'relike uhoh, she's done for the
day.
That's good.
That's love right there.
Who are some, surprisinglyintroverted celebrities?
What about, our fan favorite,dark, mysterious, but cool guy
Keanu Reeves, John Wick.
I love Keanu Reeves.
(36:57):
I think we said this earlier.
Yes.
One of my favorites ever.
Keanu Reeves actor, obviouslyvery well known, and famously
known for his privacy and alsohis kindness.
I almost feel like John Wick isprobably really close to his
personality.
I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Meryl Streep actor love her,known for depth, privacy and
introspection.
(37:18):
Joaquin Phoenix, another greatactor avoids the spotlight and
often discusses his discomfortwith fame.
One of them that I'm reallysurprised with is Tom Hanks.
It states that he's like veryobservant and I could see that
given like some of the roleshe's played.
Yeah.
And he, loves being a homebody.
I mean, his wife is wonderful.
Harrison Ford.
Yeah.
(37:39):
Fan favorite, personal favorite.
He's the epitome of, I'm justover it.
There's a episode where he hadDavid Blaine in his house doing
Magic.
Everyone watch that, it is themost entertaining and funniest
thing ever and he'sunapologetic, he's like, get the
hell outta my house you're awitch.
I also love David Blaine, buthe's clearly an extrovert.
No, David Blaine's an introvert.
(37:59):
No.
Yeah, 100% if you watch his newshow, it's on National
Geographic, where he travels todifferent countries to see like
magic and then he tries newthings.
You get a little more of hispersonality and he is an
introvert.
He was alone a lot and heappreciates his quiet time and
his solitude.
Very interesting.
Another one that reallysurprised me, Barack Obama.
(38:20):
I'm not surprised by that.
Really, I would imagine becausehe's so charismatic, that he's
just always energized aroundpeople.
I just imagined him growing upand being that social guy.
Mm-hmm.
That like could just be in anyspace and like, you know.
I could see that, that person isprobably Michelle Obama.
(38:42):
More extrovert.
More extroverted, but she hasstrong boundaries.
She has this energy to herthat's like so exciting and nice
and I think with Barack, heseems like he's more of the kind
of person that's in his head,critical thinker, consistently
like observant.
And Barack has been quoted assaying that he's more reflective
(39:03):
and likes his quiet time andthat Michelle is the social one.
Michelle, she just has this likebeautiful energy.
She commands a space, shecommands a room.
I love her.
She's a great role model.
and I love seeing her in popculture more because I think her
presence is so powerful.
And yeah, so she's one extrovertI give two thumbs up too.
(39:24):
Big fan, big fan.
Introverts are kind of likeemotional ninjas.
We are quiet, powerful, andobservant.
So I think even if you know howto tap into your introvert
energy.
You can tap into all of thesecool things.
And we have a range.
I could go from analyzing themeaning of life to ignoring a
phone call in 0.2 seconds.
(39:45):
Alright.
Well, thanks for joining ustoday.
And always remember if you're anintrovert, it's a superpower.
Your energy doesn't need to beloud to be powerful.
Embrace the quiet, protect yourpeace, and never feel bad for
choosing yourself.
Whether you're a cozy homebody,or a social butterfly in
disguise, being an introvert isa gift.
(40:06):
It's soft power, it's presence,and it's real.
If you enjoyed this episode,please subscribe, share, and
leave us a review.
It helps more people find thepod and keep the conversation
going.
Until next time.
Bye bye.
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The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.