July 16, 2025 • 40 mins
Welcome back to Andi & Mich—where two sisters, two generations, and a whole lot of chaos come together to talk life, love, and living with intention.
In this episode, we’re diving into the emotional and physical clutter that’s taking up space in your life—and what happens when you finally let it go. From bursting closets and tangled chargers to childhood memorabilia and toxic productivity, we share personal stories, hard truths, and a lot of laughs about what decluttering really looks like.
We cover:
✨ Why clutter impacts your nervous system
✨ How simplicity creates space for joy
✨ The emotional reasons we hold on to stuff
✨ Cultural pressure to have more to feel more
✨ How to simplify your home, calendar, and expectations
Plus, our game segment “Keep It or Kick It” brings the chaos—and clarity. Whether it’s 27 water bottles or your inner guilt gremlin, we’ll help you figure out what stays and what goes.
If you're ready for less clutter and more peace, this one’s for you.
#DeclutterYourLife
#SimplifyToAmplify
#MentalHealthMatters
#MinimalistLiving
#ClutterFree
#ToxicProductivity
#PodcastForWomen
#IntentionalLiving
#LatinaPodcast
#SlowLiving
#SmallHouseBigLife
#AndiAndMich
#JoyOfLess
#NervousSystemCare
#HealingSpaces
If you liked this episode please like and follow our podcast, leave us a comment, and share it with a friend. Visit us on Youtube for extra content and full episodes https://www.youtube.com/@AndiandMich
Your support helps us to keep the conversations going. <3
-Andi and Mich
The Andi and Mich Podcast: Two Sisters, Two Generations, Unique Perspectives, Lots of Laughs
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to Andy and Mitch,the podcast, were two sisters,
two generations and a whole lotof chaos come together to talk
life, love, and living withintention.
Today we are talking aboutsimplifying life, our homes, our
routines, our closets, ourexpectations, and why doing less
might actually be the key tofilling more joy.
(00:20):
Because at some point you lookaround and think, why do I have
five different types of spatulasand still order takeout.
Right?
So grab your cafecito, take adeep breath, and let's declutter
mentally and emotionally.
Let's dive in.
Bottom line, we live in asociety that over consumes.
Food, clothes, crap, we don'tneed in our houses, social
(00:46):
media, tv, everything's at ourdisposal.
It's at our fingertips.
I think it's safe to say thatnone of that stuff is actually
linked to real joy in our lives,and it's like too much.
The stuff is not saving us, infact, 80 to 90% of Americans
feel overwhelmed by clutter withexperts estimating clutter
contributes up to 25% ofhousehold stress, that's a lot.
(01:09):
Seriously.
63% admit clutter negativelyaffects their mental health and
61% say decluttering improvestheir quality of life.
When you do declutter and youfinally get through all the
mess, I mean, it's not a prettysight, and sometimes it takes
days, but when you do getthrough it, you feel this sense
(01:32):
of lightness.
Have you ever had a moment whereyou realized you have too much
stuff?
Anytime you have to move.
I only need 10 boxes and thenyou start packing and you're
like, where the heck did allthis stuff come from?
There is no way I have this muchstuff, like the last time we
moved, like a big move.
The freaking moving truck waspacked to the brim to the point
(01:55):
that the guy was telling me it'svery heavy, so I have to drive
very slow.
That's kind of crazy actually.
Wild, why is there so manythings?
You guys have like collectibleitems, you have a lot of books.
That's just a nice way to sayhoarders.
I collect the least amount ofthings in that house.
I am a journal hoarder, I have abunch of journals I probably
(02:17):
will never use, ever in my life.
I think the last time we went toBarnes and Noble.
You got another one.
I bought like three, remember.
I was like, I need this one.
This one's for doodling.
They all have a differentpurpose.
This one's for writing out myideas, my creative ideas, and
then this one's for gratitude orsomething.
(02:39):
One was prompted, wasn't it?
Yeah, The gratitude one I thinkhad like questions and I thought
I could totally use this.
Mind you, when I got home and Ilooked at my bookshelf, I had
two other journals that werelike gratitude.
So yes, that I do hoard, but itdoesn't take up more than like a
shelf of space.
Versus people that I'm relatedto have like rooms full of
(03:00):
collectibles, which I'msurprised you, well, we'll find
out'cause you're a veryemotional based person too.
They're very emotional based, sothey get emotionally attached to
their things.
Yeah, I used to.
You don't anymore?
I don't anymore.
You don't even like thosebitches anymore, get rid of it.
I did do that.
(03:21):
When I was looking through mymemorabilia boxes, I had a lot
of them.
I ended up shrinking it all downto just two clear bins where I
could see everything in it.
Now there are some photo booksthat I need to put together, I
bought the photo albums, but Ihave not put them together yet.
So that's a project that I have,but outside of that.
I shrunk it down and it actuallywas really beneficial for me
(03:42):
because I realized a lot of thisstuff was like just outdated.
I don't need things of like myfirst relationships, I don't
need stuff like that and so Ithrew it all away, like
everything.
Because I want to make space fornew things.
Mm-hmm.
I think if I became a parent itwould be different, I would be
very sentimental.
I'm just gonna say this veryhonestly you collect so much
crap from your kids that you hareally at a certain point you
(04:05):
have to purge.
It's just too many things.
You have to very carefully andthoughtfully, slowly make things
disappear and then pick what youwanna actually keep in store
'cause it's too much stuff.
I love my kid, but I just don'tneed all those things.
Yeah.
And I think that's the strifethat a lot of parents go through
because they don't wanna get ridof it'cause it is very
(04:26):
sentimental and then they haveto figure out which ones are the
best ones to keep.
Mm-hmm.
For me, particularly with a lotof the stuff is like
sentimental, more related tolike traveling, just times where
I just had a lot more time todo, silly fun things.
Do you have anything that youcollect?
No.
No.
Like pins or mugs or?
No.
Really?
Oh, I do I collect, gift cards.
(04:47):
Money.
Cash and diamonds.
Just diamonds.
Just jewels.
Why?
Just, just bars of gold.
Anything of significantfinancial value.
I collect greeting cards.
Yeah, you do buy greeting cardsfor no reason.
No, I, have a reason and thereason is they come in handy
(05:08):
like when I, when I need to givesomebody a birthday card.
I always have a birthday card ifI need to give them a grief
card.
I always have a grief card.
You have like a card foreverything.
I have a card for everything.
You want a funny one?
You want a sentimental one?
You want one one with lions,tigers, bears, Dragons.
Children's birthday, adultbirthday.
You want a gender theme,non-gender theme.
You want a Spanish and orEnglish?
(05:32):
That's micro hoarding.
That is my one thing because Ireally admired the way that our
grandma used to buy cards at thebeginning of the year for all
her grandchildren's birthdays.
And then she'd have'em filledout with our Sizzler coupon or
our$20 gift card to EL Loco, andshe would have them filled out
for the entire year.
And I really like that, so likethat's something I want to keep
(05:54):
doing.
So I always have cards availableto me to be able to fill them
out.
I am yet to see a card with asizzler coupon or a five dollar
el pollo loco.
I've never given you a sizzlercoupon, but now that we're
saying it out loud, I shouldstart.
I used to love those, thosecards.
I did too.
It was so cute.
It's like, I'm gonna get my$5and my sizzler meal.
It was wonderful and when I wasa kid, that was like, I was
(06:16):
rich.
Yeah.
We were gonna go to the to theliquor store down the street and
I was gonna get all kinds ofcandy.
My in-laws give you cash for thenumber of years that you've been
alive.
The older you get, the more youget.
It's the greatest ever.
It's just so sweet and I think Ilike that sentiment.
So I do collect cards for that.
My other goal was to start justmaking a ton of photo albums, so
(06:39):
I do have those two photo albumsas a project, because I have a
ton of photos, but I never framethem or put them in albums but
it's because I've moved so muchand I got really detached to the
concept of keeping things.
I think that there is a benefitto it, right?
There are things that areanchored in memories.
That's why like when you startgoing through a box of stuff and
(06:59):
you're like, oh my God, Iremember this.
Oh my god, remember that.
Or, you know, this happened andwe start getting real
sentimental but I do think weneed to be selective on which
ones we keep and not keepeverything.
As you get older you also becomevery knicknacky, this is a true
thing.
I don't know why it happens.
It just happens.
(07:19):
So you go and go to shows,theater, whatever and you like
kind of wanna keep somethingfrom it but at the same time, I
don't want to create clutter, soI have to pick like the smallest
thing.
So I pick like pins or magnets.
I had to make a consciousdecision like if I get
something, it's gotta besomething I can wear, like a
(07:39):
t-shirt or something that I'mactually gonna wear or something
small because then if I have alot of them, it's okay, they fit
in a tiny little box, a shoebox, and it's fine.
Yeah, and they say that mementosfor meaningful moments like
travel or events can sparkcreativity or joy, and that's
why people tend to do them AKA,your buying of pins and things.
Yeah.
I like buying funny pins thatI'm gonna put on my backpack.
(08:01):
I do like stickers.
That kind of ties to likeidentity and personality, right?
Yeah.
It's super cheap and affordableand it's a fun way to express
yourself, like you're saying.
And I put stickers on my laptop,which a lot of people are like,
blasphemous, how dare you?
I'm like, dude, this thing'sgonna break, like they break, I
don't know if you know this butwe all die.
I do collect books too, wait,I'm making a lot of confessions
(08:24):
right now.
Yeah.
I told you, you collected books.
No, okay.
You guys all collect books?
We all collect books, we're abook family but I collect books,
like people collect wine.
So I buy books it doesn't meanI'm gonna read them.
Which is a collector.
But at the right moment in timewhen it makes most sense, the
(08:45):
universe aligns it to where itneeds to be those books will be
read.
I don't even need to go to thebookstore guys.
How do you think clutter in yourhome affects your nervous
system?
I know how it affects mine.
I have like what I like to callborderline OCD.
You dabble in it.
I dabble.
It's almost like you get realclear on an idea you have,
(09:09):
there's a very steep cliff wherelike an hour later, cut to me on
the floor in my closet cryingbecause I made such a mess.
Yes.
Because I had a moment like thatwhere I was like so motivated,
and I was like, I'm gonna, MarieKondo the shit out of this
closet.
(09:29):
I'm gonna go through everything,only keep things that feel
really good to me, and I'm gonnaget rid of all the excess.
So I started this process bypulling everything out because I
thought in the moment, geniusidea, I'll pull everything out
because then it will force me togo through each pile.
I do that, by the way, when Iput my clothes away, so we are
(09:53):
related.
Let us know if you can relate.
And it's also a woman thing'cause that's one thing I've
learned over the years is thatthe way it shows up in us shows
up differently than potentiallyin men.
Yeah and that cliff hit hard andI deep dove down into like, I
can't do this.
You were overwhelmed.
I was so overwhelmed, I was likegoing from pile to pile the ADHD
(10:14):
spiral happened then my partnercame home and I ran and slammed
the door and I was like, don'tlook in here.
For the safety of all of us, donot go in this room.
You're like, you're sleepingdownstairs tonight.
I'm so sorry.
He's like, what did you do?
I'm like, don't even look at it.
I'll take care of it.
(10:34):
Don't worry.
So I cried through the wholething, sweat, tears, the whole
nine.
And I finally got through, atone point I just started putting
things away and not really goingthrough it anymore.
You exhausted yourself.
I was like, I just have to foldit and put it back.
I've reached my capacity, now,these four drawers are gonna be
a mystery.
To be continued on another day.
(10:54):
As Andy knows, I do like swordsof laundry at one time, and so
I'll tend to take all the cleanlaundry put it on my bed, then I
get the drawers and I flip allthe drawers out onto the bed.
I'll sort through it and I'lljust be like, bitty, bitty
bom-bom my way to like order andcleanliness.
And I think it's because there'slike an element of like
(11:17):
functionality, setting myself upfor success, knowing where
everything is.
I think it really does impact mynervous system because I
recognize that.
I have a very insecureattachment to things growing up
without a lot of stuff.
And like also growing up in ahome that could sometimes be
chaotic that also feltcluttered, when it was chaotic.
(11:41):
So I kind of associate the twothings.
So it makes me very anxious anduncomfortable, when there's too
much stuff to where that'sspilling out of everywhere and I
can't keep it organized.
To where you're like, shoot, wehave too many things.
We have to like taper this downimmediately stat because it does
impact my mental health and itis directly correlated to how we
(12:04):
grew up and the impact that thathad on me.
I do see that because I think tosome degree our mom kind of had
that too.
I think she still does.
Yeah.
She's better about it though.
But when we were growing up,that's probably why there was so
much clutters'cause she didn'tknow if she would get the
(12:26):
opportunity to get somethingagain.
She was very similar in therespect that getting overwhelmed
and not knowing how to properlydispose of things.
I think, now I'm just like, I amthrow away, crazy So much so
that sometimes she'll even belike, stop throwing things away.
Really?
Because you're gonna startthrowing things away.
Yeah'cause then everybody, theylike start putting caution tape
across their doors.
(12:46):
and they're like, don't come inhere, leave my stuff alone.
You don't need to clean thatroom.
I'm like.
Relax.
I'm just cleaning my own closet.
But they know once I go on likethat rampage, I start like, we
don't need this, we don't needthis.
And I'll start just throwingthings away and it can get a
little outta control.
Yeah.
I do the same thing.
But do you think that we as asociety especially being so
(13:07):
consumer focused, do you thinkwe confuse abundance with
excess?
We can definitely find ourselvesin these consumerism loops,
especially with social mediayou're seeing all of these
things marketed at you.
And it's a quick tap, tap, tapbefore it's at your house.
Also, the idea of like abundanceversus excess, it's like well, I
(13:30):
have the funds to do it, soobviously it's okay, it's not
excessive.
But I do think that we confusethis idea of abundance.
Like we're doing well, we haveall these things we can see it
as a status symbol of abundance,but in reality it's a very fine
line between that and excess.
(13:50):
And I actually started tonotice, like when I would
simplify things, something assimple as like my makeup routine
to my closet, to my officespace.
I just felt so much better.
And I felt happier and I startedto feel more comfortable in my
own space.
And then I started seeing,'causeI love International House
(14:12):
hunters.
It's like one of my favoriteshows.
Watching other cultures livevery simply in their homes and
like how their home wasdecorated, how their closets are
small because they don't havelike an excessive wardrobe.
They only buy what they need andthen replace as they need to and
I started seeing that and I waslike, oh, that sounds really
nice.
(14:33):
Just from like a maintenancestandpoint of things you have to
clean.
That sounds great.
What about like, culturalnarratives around like
collecting too many things?
I do remember our grandma.
Actually on both sides, havinglike a lot of chucherias which
is like just little collectiblethings on shelves.
(14:53):
She was like into clowns, whichwould really freak me out but
she had all kinds of clownfigurines.
I hated those damn clowns.
And we all, we all blocked itout of our memories.
Yeah.
But I think culturally too,there's this thing about like
when you make your house a homeand you decorate, you bring in
things that bring you joy andsometimes it can be excessive.
(15:13):
Like we had an aunt who lovedMiss Piggy and she had like a
ton of pigs.
Like when it becomes too much.
There's something to be saidabout, making space for new
things in your life.
Literally and figuratively, andsometimes they're related,
right?
Like sometimes if you can clearthe physical clutter in your
(15:35):
home.
It can have an impact in otherareas of your life.
When you do that, you feel morecomfortable, more relaxed.
As humans have a tendency tohold onto things.
For sentimental reasons, usuallythere are probably a list of
other reasons that people holdonto stuff, whether healthy or
not.
How funny you say that'causethere is a list emotional
(15:56):
connection, identity,inspiration and motivation and
social connection, continue.
So like in the same veins, wouldyou prefer living in a big
space?
That was too empty or a smallspace?
That was also empty.
Yeah, minimalist living.
Or have you ever lived in aspace that was too big or too
empty?
(16:16):
No, i've been poor my whole lifebut if anybody wants to give me
a big space to live in that youain't using.
DM us, drop us a comment.
We'll take it.
Um, no, i've always lived inrelatively, medium spaces.
One time we all lived togetherin a pretty big house.
(16:38):
Yeah, that was a big space.
I guess a small space, a smallspace is maintainable to me with
very little clutter.
Like I would probably have itvery minimal.
yeah because they, you know whatthey say, smaller space, bigger
life.
Have you ever lived in a spacethat was too big or too empty?
Yeah, I prefer spaces that feelcozy.
(16:58):
I do like the idea of designatedareas'cause, i'm older now and I
just don't wanna have to get inmy car and drive to the gym.
I'd rather have a space that'slike designated for me at home.
Not that I use it anymore than Iwould going to the gym but just
in case one day.
Yeah.
I decide I'm gonna be really ontop of it.
You guys workout though?
We do workout, so I do like thatbut like as far as like living
(17:22):
space, I like a big communalliving space.
That feels cozy.
I don't see myself being happyin a giant house with like 20
different rooms and you know.
I just don't see it, even like amassive kitchen.
No, I need a good sized kitchenthat has like enough counter
space where we can all hang out,but I don't need it to be over
(17:43):
the top.
Yeah, no, that would drive menuts.
Just the idea of cleaning it.
Also, I'd be super paranoid ifthere were so many rooms.
I have this thing at nighttimewhere I have to lock everything
and I have to double check, andthen triple check.
So imagine if you had like 13rooms.
I'd be running a marathon,trying to lock my house down
every night.
No, I need a smaller space.
And like you were sayingearlier, like the state of our
(18:05):
spaces reflect our mental healthalso, right?
I think I would just be totallynuts if I had a giant space that
I had to keep in order.
Like I would have to have a lotof help maintaining that, I
wouldn't be able to do itmyself.
Yeah.
It's a lot of work.
It's too much work.
So I do like a simplified homeand just enough space for people
(18:28):
so that you have your ownprivate space you can go to, but
not excessive.
And I've downsized before from abig house to a small house, and
that's a nightmare but once youadjust, you're like, oh, this is
not so bad, it's kind of nice.
I will say though, there's adifference between having too
much stuff, fill all the spacesand you mentioned, the concept
(18:51):
of when you're growing up withvery little and you always wanna
have like a full pantry or haveexcess goods in terms of like
what you need as your basicsurvival goods.
Just to have extra.
Yeah, I always wanna have extrain case like hardship comes or
something.
And then I, normally like set upto always have that excess.
(19:12):
I actually learned that from anold friend's mother.
And when we were growing up, Iwas like, you have so much stuff
you have so much food and sheexplained to me that because she
had food insecurity, she alwayshad her pantry stocked no matter
what.
Mm-hmm.
And then like clicked in myhead.
So I feel like if I had a biggerspace, I'd have a wild pantry
like one of those, like whereyou walk into it and then like
(19:34):
as you walk, like the lightslight up.
Making your own soap.
If I had a basement, I would belike totally set for, you know,
rough times.
I'd have a cool ass pantry, agame room, a little movie
theater, and then a bed.
So there's more there than justa small home that you said
earlier.
A small home on top and then avery well furnish survival
(19:57):
bunker underneath.
With a movie theater.
With a movie theater.
Game room.
A small movie theater.
They're not one and the same.
It's not even like a communalgame room.
They're two separate rooms.
Oh, that's true.
You could make the movie theaterin the game room into one.
It's called like a family room.
Not even a bathroom.
I'm not thinking this out verywell.
No, you're not.
I think you need to go back tothe drawing board on your dream
(20:18):
home.
For sure, it's always nice tohave a little extra, like, you
know, having a little movieroom, that's pretty cool.
I want the big pool in thebackyard.
As long as I can have someonemaintain it for me.
So you want a bigger space then?
Yes and no.
I don't want a massive housethough.
So small house, lots ofamenities.
Well, like medium house.
(20:40):
Andy's medium house, lots ofamenities.
I'm small house, hidden bunker.
If I had to pick massive mansionon a five acre estate with, very
little income, like you'respending all your time taking
care of your state.
You don't have a lot of extraNo.
Versus smaller, more practicalspace but bigger life, more
(21:04):
money you're out of the house,more, you're doing more, you're
experiencing life more.
You're traveling.
Your space is big enough for youto host dinners with your
friends and family, like I wouldpick that, over the massive.
Estate with all the cool stuff.
Yeah because it echoes like a,just a higher quality of life.
Yeah.
I would want the better qualityof life.
(21:26):
For sure.
Smaller space, bigger life.
So why do we believe we needmore to feel accomplished?
Depending on which state you'rein'cause in Texas it's also the
bigger things that you have andwe know,'cause we lived in Texas
for a brief period of time.
Mm-hmm.
But the more that you have ingeneral, the more accomplished
you appear to be.
I also think that, we're soldthis idea, and especially in the
(21:49):
US and this may be true in otherplaces too, but speaking from an
American perspective.
That you're accomplished whenyou get the degree, you get the
relationship, you build thefamily, you buy the house, you
have the car, you have themortgage.
You've checked all the boxes.
But all of these boxes requiredyou to live a very confined
life.
(22:10):
That's more about excess andstuff, than it is about
experiences you don't oftenhear, if you're gonna check any
boxes, it should be these rightexperiences, joy, travel, like
these are all things that youhave to consciously choose.
So you kind of have to decide.
For some people.
That's all they want, andthey're fine with that but for
(22:31):
other people, you kind of gettoward the end or later in life
and you're like, oh man, I kindof missed out.
I wanna have all theseexperiences now.
I want the smaller space and thebigger life, and I've chosen the
bigger space and the smallerlife.
I've always had these littlemoments where the universe has
reminded me that like yourthings and your titles and your
(22:53):
money is not the goal.
These little pit stops where theuniverse kind of redirects me
when it can, you know?
And I'm really grateful for thatbecause I do think that, that is
very true, but it does buy youfreedom a lot of the times.
I also know that that is a hugething for consumerism and for
American life is like there arevery, very real check boxes that
(23:17):
people feel they have toaccomplish in order to feel
accomplished or to feel liketheir life had value in meaning.
Along the lines of what Andysays is like, you just need to
invest in your life and you'llfind a lot more value and
meaning in the way that you showup and the people you surround
yourself with, and the placesyou get to see, and the cultures
you get to experience and thethings you allow yourself to be
(23:38):
curious about.
Everything else is temporary.
The moral of the story is thatjoy comes from clarity and
simplicity, not clutter andexcess cause all those things
where you're checking the boxes,it's like you're just
collecting.
You're collecting things thatare holding a lot of value for
you, but in the clutter, thereis the potential to get lost in
(24:04):
it.
And I do think that clutter inyour life and excess of things,
pulls you away a little bit fromthis idea of having clarity and
finding joy and finding likedeeper meaning.
And I'm saying this from my ownpersonal experience, the more
I've let go of that, the happierI have become and the more I am
(24:30):
able to tap into joy and ease inmy life.
It does coincide with theconcept that you talked about
earlier, which is creating spacefor new things, new experiences,
new opportunities.
This idea of simplicity, itreally is like this radical act
of self-trust.
You're trusting yourself enoughto know if I need it, I'll get
it and I don't need to fill myspace with things.
(24:56):
But also since we're talkingabout like decluttering, because
we talk about declutteringstuff, decluttering your house,
your life goals.
Where in your life do you thinkyou could create more space?
Social media, over consumptionof media and marketing is really
(25:17):
tough on our brains.
It isn't necessarily trying toharm anybody but I think the
overconsumption of consistentads and influencers and all
these things, harping reminderof all the expectations and
societal pressures and stigmasand all those things.
And whether it's from people Iknow we always wanna be
intentional about our friendsthat we wanna invest our support
(25:39):
in.
A lot of people have their ownpodcasts, their creative
endeavors, their personalbusinesses, and so trying to
catch them in between all theclutter can be really hard
sometimes, especially whenyou're following too many
people.
So I am a big advocate forsocial media decluttering.
Yeah, I second that notion.
What about you?
I think I need to declutter myschedule.
(26:02):
Mind you, it's summertime, it'sprobably a little decluttered on
its own right now.
I need to be more protective ofit, in that way'cause my
schedule can feel like it'scluttered.
There's too many things onthere, too many to-dos, too many
meetings, too many this, toomany that.
If I'm too jam packed, there'sno room for anything else.
You heard it here first, from avery busy professional business
lady.
(26:23):
Yeah, for me, my schedule hasbeen decluttered.
Your version of decluttering isyou just wanted hit delete.
I just deleted everything.
You just sent blanket cancelmessages to everybody.
I was just telling two of myfriends the other day that I'm
in my hermit phase.
I feel like I need to preserve,so almost like a bear, going
(26:46):
into winter.
Yeah, it's called the Wintering.
I don't love summer.
It's definitely not my season.
I'm more of a fall person, butbecause I like the cooler
temperatures, light sweaters,things like that.
Fall late, fall early winter butI do love the beach, I just like
water.
(27:07):
I personally love water whenit's falling from the sky.
So I'm major fall winter person.
So you're hermit face becauseit's too hot?
Yeah, it's starting to get warm,so I'm starting to check out.
So is that why, so you're sayingbecause of the weather you're
decluttering your calendar andminimizing activities with your
(27:27):
friends.
I'm just trying to understand.
Yeah.
I'm glad we got thatclarification.
And there's a lot going on andso my brain is like.
Well, this makes perfect sense,it's about that time.
It's about that time for me togo into hiding.
I think I'm going into hiding alittle sooner than they would
like.
(27:50):
I will emerge a new butterfly inthe fall.
Hilarious.
And I think that coincides withlike, decluttering friendships.
Those that'll still be there inthe fall, our real friends.
That's how you know that they'veweathered the storm with you.
Well, you know, joy doesn'talways look like a tropical
vacation in Florida or buyingnew things.
(28:13):
Sometimes it's just asimplified, uncluttered morning
indoors or breathing room inyour schedule.
Or finally donating those genesfrom 2008.
I didn't get rid of a lot ofthose things.
I like let go of a lot of stuff.
I do too.
Because I was watching the newStacy and Clinton fashion show.
(28:33):
One of the things that she saidis, if you're holding onto
things from years ago becauseyou think you're gonna fit into
them, that it's very toxic.
It's very unhealthy for yoursoul.
You have to let it go.
She just like, totally called meout.
So part of my decluttering of mycloset was I did go deep down
and find all this stuff that Iwas holding onto of like, oh no,
(28:57):
it'll fit the way I want it toeventually, right and then I'll
wear it, and then I'll feelgood.
And I was like, you know, she'sright.
This is toxic.
So I let it go.
I donated it.
Some of the stuff still had tagson it, that's very sad.
Or I gave it to, Mitch.
She gets all the new tag stuff.
Sometimes or our mother, it is,she's like the hippest lady I'll
(29:18):
ever mean in your life.
She literally gets all of ourhand-me-downs and she is like
fly.
All the time.
All the time.
And she loves fashion so much.
So shout out to our mom.
That should be assigned to youthat I'm.
In a decluttering or a DHDspiral because I'll text you and
I'll be like, do you want these?
I've gotten so many shoes fromAndy.
(29:39):
And I feel like what happens isthat you'll give me a bunch of
things and then I have to goback in my wardrobe and let go
of all the shabby stuff that Ihad.
So now I have all these likehighend chic things.
We're gonna play a game segmentnow called"Keep It or Kick It"
where we get to ask each otherquestions.
Would you keep it or kick itliterally or figuratively?
Play along with us if you'dlike.
(30:01):
Alright, Andy, would you keep 27water bottles?
Wait, are they empty or do theyhave water in them?
There's no context.
Well, obviously if they havewater in them, you keep it
because that's emergencypreparedness.
For the end of the world typestuff, you want 27 or if you
just have visitors, you want 27water bottles.
(30:22):
It's gonna be hard to carry 27water bottles when you're
escaping your home.
Would you keep it or kick it?
Your toxic productivity mindset.
Oh, I kicked it a long time ago.
Does that mean that myproductivity has dropped?
Perhaps.
But you gotta kick it, you can'tbe toxic about like produce,
(30:44):
produce, produce, produce.
Hit the market, hit the market,hit the mark, right.
You have to find the balance.
I still have my toxicproductivity mindset.
I am really good at not doinganything or doing everything at
once.
So I need to figure out abalance.
Are you good at that?
Just because you do it doesn'tmean you're good at it.
It's a gift, okay andy?
It's a gift.
(31:06):
When I'm productive, I'mproductive.
I'm very mood based if I'm notin the mood to be productive.
There ain't nothing happening.
You're getting zero quality workoutta me.
Well from a professionalstandpoint, I think both of us
are like even our 35% is alwaysgreat.
I tested this my last year ofwork.
(31:28):
Hopefully my old employer neverhears this, and if they do, I'm
so sorry and also,congratulations on, your new
hire.
Hang on, hang on.
So you basically showed up towork purposefully at 35%.
At 35% for an entire year.
A year, you test it for like aweek?
What is it called?
Silent, quitting.
They even asked me that duringmy review if I was silent,
(31:50):
quitting.
I was 35% checking if it wasstill the right position for me.
I was working and doingincredible work for like a solid
four years, and then I keptgetting passed up on title bumps
but I was getting pay increasesand a lot more responsibility.
(32:11):
And the compliment that I wasgetting is because you're just
so good, we wanna give you X, Y,and Z.
Because you're just so capable.
We're gonna give you X, Y, andZ.
Because I see so much potential,we're gonna give you X, Y, and
Z.
But it never came with a propertitle.
Because of that, I only gave 35%for an entire year, and at the
end of the year.
They went to review my work andI gave myself for the first time
(32:35):
outta those five years, astellar self review.
And I got a 98% review.
At 35%.
At 35%.
So our 35% is always a hundredpercent of a regular person.
Yes, we're pretty amazing andalso humble.
With the exception of one timewhen I interviewed and I told
them, yeah, I'm a hundredpercent capable, I don't really
make a lot of mistakes that Ican't fix.
(32:57):
And I'm like, oh, by the way, Itook your test I didn't know the
answer to the last one, so Ijust put, I'll get back to you.
No, you didn't.
I did, yeah.
Hot off the press tips for allof you job seekers out there.
I wasn't gonna pull out my phoneand like cheat on the test but I
(33:18):
also didn't know the answer, soI wasn't gonna pretend like I
did know the answer because thatwould also be wrong.
Okay, so you're keeping yourtoxic positivity mindset.
I'm working on it.
Back to the game at hand.
Back to regularly scheduledprogramming.
Keep it or kick it, threeplanners you don't use, this is
a great question for you.
(33:39):
Okay are the planners dated?
Because if they're dated, we'llkick it, but if they're, if I
can just add the dates in, thenwe're keeping them.
So you're keeping them.
Yeah.
Moving on.
Okay.
Clothes you haven't worn in twoyears keep it or kick it.
I'm trying to be better aboutkicking it.
(34:00):
I think I'm pretty close, i'mgiving it my best, yeah, my full
35%.
You're giving it your full 35%.
I have a couple things that Ihaven't worn in two years that I
will keep.
You know what it is?
They fit, they fit.
I tried them on and theyactually look really cute.
I just have to know where to go.
So just keep'em.
(34:21):
Anything that didn't fit, Ialready donated'cause I was
like, why am I gonna make myselffeel bad.
And then there's the ones thatyou just have but you never
wear.
Like their first specialoccasions or something.
Yeah or something.
Keep it or kick it, feelingguilty for resting.
Kick it.
Kick it.
Good.
(34:43):
A lot of people battle withthis, they feel guilty for
resting, so they don't, theydon't slow down.
They don't rest.
Probably the idea ofdecluttering their schedules and
things is anxiety provoking.
Because they don't wanna feelguilty for not doing things
right and not being productive.
I kicked that a while back too.
(35:03):
I need to rest, otherwise I'museless to myself and the rest
of the world.
If I don't rest, I'm just adrunk man.
Keep it or kick it a drawer fullof tangled chargers.
Kick it, i'll just get'em on andthrow'em away.
I'll just detangle them.
I'll go to the store and buy anew one.
Five Below has such greatchargers.
(35:24):
Okay.
The belief that busyness equalsvalue.
Kick that to the curb.
Kick it.
The answer, my friend, is thatyou are valuable as you are.
Take your light saver and I'llswing it in a circle, schwing,
schwing, schwing.
Keep it or kick it.
(35:45):
Items you have in your house asdecor that were given to you as
gifts by exes.
Oh, I had this.
Is it there still?
No.
I had a photograph that an extook of the sixth Street bridge
in LA for me, as a birthdaygift.
And I had it because the sixthStreet bridge has since been
demolished.
(36:06):
Every time I saw the image, Iremembered that person.
So I ended up kicking it.
I threw it out.
Despite the fact that it's a sixfree bridge and there's not a
lot of pictures of it left.
I don't have anything like that,so it's not an issue for me.
This is true.
I've also been with my personfor 24 years, so we're, we're
(36:28):
all good.
So, other ways to simplify anddeclutter is to introduce a
daily simplicity check-in.
Like ask yourself, what'sessential today?
Decluttering is an art form.
You do have to practice.
You do have to work through alot of things that might come up
(36:48):
with decluttering.
It does bring about a simplicitythat brings joy and ease.
And like Mitch talked aboutearlier, there is a lot of
research to support why.
So for example, a lot of likehigh level business people keep
a very simple wardrobe so theydon't have to overthink, and
(37:10):
that was one of the things thatSteve Jobs did.
He wore the same outfit all thetime, so he didn't have to worry
about it.
It was one less thing for him tohave to think about stress
about.
It created like a calm and anease to his routine every day.
And I can see how that works.
I don't know if I'd wanna wearthe same thing every single day,
but I can definitely see thebenefit in that.
(37:31):
And it's affordable.
Yeah, for the most part.
Simplicity actually doesregulate your nervous system as
well and when your environmentis chaotic, your body reads it
as a threat.
You're more likely to be in aconstant state of fight or
flight.
Spaces can increase cortisollevels, organized and calm
spaces promote parasyntheticnervous system activity, the
(37:52):
rest and digest mode.
So after cleaning out a draweror walking into a tiny room, you
know how you get that instantbreath of fresh air, or feels
lighter, like you said earlier.
Yeah.
That's, that.
That's very the magic of that.
It's your actual nervous systemreacting.
It also increases gratitude andpresence.
(38:13):
So when you have less, younotice more.
And the research in amindfulness shows that being
present increases joy andminimalism naturally encourages
mindfulness.
So there are a lot of teachingsthat, encourage releasing
attachment to excess things andcreate open space for
appreciation.
So it's like we were talkingabout, like when you notice that
(38:34):
you can actually feel joy andlive a fuller, bigger life, when
you have a simple home and yousimplify your routines.
Finding joy and simple momentslike your morning cafecito
ritual, a walk without yourphone, or even sometimes wearing
the same outfit and not caringor similar, right, and not
(38:57):
caring.
It creates financial andemotional freedom.
the less you chase, the less youspend, the more you gain.
People who embrace voluntarysimplicity report higher life
satisfaction and lower financialanxiety.
Not having to constantlyupgrade, decorate, or hustle
brings a feeling of liberationand self-trust.
(39:19):
Decluttering and simplifyingaligns your life with your
values, not noise.
So this idea of simplicity letsyou see what matters most and
when you declutter.
You are not just removingobjects, you're removing
misaligned expectations anddistractions.
And when you are existing from avalues aligned living space, it
(39:44):
is actually linked to greaterpsychological well-being.
And when people can name theirtop three values and simplify
their life around them, theyreport feeling more in control
and fulfilled.
So being clear about what you'revalues are, and your current
priorities in life are, helpsyou stay connected to this idea
(40:04):
of living simply anddecluttering and tapping into
more joy and helps you honorthat on a regular basis.
So simplicity is not aboutdeprivation, right?
That's not what we're talkingabout here.
It's about liberation.
You're not giving something up.
You're looking for ways to giveback to yourself.
So here's your permission slipto unsubscribe, unfollow,
(40:27):
unclutter, unpeople please,whatever you need to simplify
today.
Remember, less stuff equals moreroom for joy, for breathing and
for being.
If this episode sparkedsomething for you, share it with
your favorite declutter buddy oryour most chaotic friend who
needs it badly.
And don't forget to subscribe.
(40:48):
Rate us five stars or higher andcatch the next episode of Andy
and Mitch.
Catch you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Welcome back to Andy and Mitch,the podcast, were two sisters,
two generations and a whole lotof chaos come together to talk
life, love, and living withintention.
Today we are talking aboutsimplifying life, our homes, our
routines, our closets, ourexpectations, and why doing less
might actually be the key tofilling more joy.
(00:20):
Because at some point you lookaround and think, why do I have
five different types of spatulasand still order takeout.
Right?
So grab your cafecito, take adeep breath, and let's declutter
mentally and emotionally.
Let's dive in.
Bottom line, we live in asociety that over consumes.
Food, clothes, crap, we don'tneed in our houses, social
(00:46):
media, tv, everything's at ourdisposal.
It's at our fingertips.
I think it's safe to say thatnone of that stuff is actually
linked to real joy in our lives,and it's like too much.
The stuff is not saving us, infact, 80 to 90% of Americans
feel overwhelmed by clutter withexperts estimating clutter
contributes up to 25% ofhousehold stress, that's a lot.
(01:09):
Seriously.
63% admit clutter negativelyaffects their mental health and
61% say decluttering improvestheir quality of life.
When you do declutter and youfinally get through all the
mess, I mean, it's not a prettysight, and sometimes it takes
days, but when you do getthrough it, you feel this sense
(01:32):
of lightness.
Have you ever had a moment whereyou realized you have too much
stuff?
Anytime you have to move.
I only need 10 boxes and thenyou start packing and you're
like, where the heck did allthis stuff come from?
There is no way I have this muchstuff, like the last time we
moved, like a big move.
The freaking moving truck waspacked to the brim to the point
(01:55):
that the guy was telling me it'svery heavy, so I have to drive
very slow.
That's kind of crazy actually.
Wild, why is there so manythings?
You guys have like collectibleitems, you have a lot of books.
That's just a nice way to sayhoarders.
I collect the least amount ofthings in that house.
I am a journal hoarder, I have abunch of journals I probably
(02:17):
will never use, ever in my life.
I think the last time we went toBarnes and Noble.
You got another one.
I bought like three, remember.
I was like, I need this one.
This one's for doodling.
They all have a differentpurpose.
This one's for writing out myideas, my creative ideas, and
then this one's for gratitude orsomething.
(02:39):
One was prompted, wasn't it?
Yeah, The gratitude one I thinkhad like questions and I thought
I could totally use this.
Mind you, when I got home and Ilooked at my bookshelf, I had
two other journals that werelike gratitude.
So yes, that I do hoard, but itdoesn't take up more than like a
shelf of space.
Versus people that I'm relatedto have like rooms full of
(03:00):
collectibles, which I'msurprised you, well, we'll find
out'cause you're a veryemotional based person too.
They're very emotional based, sothey get emotionally attached to
their things.
Yeah, I used to.
You don't anymore?
I don't anymore.
You don't even like thosebitches anymore, get rid of it.
I did do that.
(03:21):
When I was looking through mymemorabilia boxes, I had a lot
of them.
I ended up shrinking it all downto just two clear bins where I
could see everything in it.
Now there are some photo booksthat I need to put together, I
bought the photo albums, but Ihave not put them together yet.
So that's a project that I have,but outside of that.
I shrunk it down and it actuallywas really beneficial for me
(03:42):
because I realized a lot of thisstuff was like just outdated.
I don't need things of like myfirst relationships, I don't
need stuff like that and so Ithrew it all away, like
everything.
Because I want to make space fornew things.
Mm-hmm.
I think if I became a parent itwould be different, I would be
very sentimental.
I'm just gonna say this veryhonestly you collect so much
crap from your kids that you hareally at a certain point you
(04:05):
have to purge.
It's just too many things.
You have to very carefully andthoughtfully, slowly make things
disappear and then pick what youwanna actually keep in store
'cause it's too much stuff.
I love my kid, but I just don'tneed all those things.
Yeah.
And I think that's the strifethat a lot of parents go through
because they don't wanna get ridof it'cause it is very
(04:26):
sentimental and then they haveto figure out which ones are the
best ones to keep.
Mm-hmm.
For me, particularly with a lotof the stuff is like
sentimental, more related tolike traveling, just times where
I just had a lot more time todo, silly fun things.
Do you have anything that youcollect?
No.
No.
Like pins or mugs or?
No.
Really?
Oh, I do I collect, gift cards.
(04:47):
Money.
Cash and diamonds.
Just diamonds.
Just jewels.
Why?
Just, just bars of gold.
Anything of significantfinancial value.
I collect greeting cards.
Yeah, you do buy greeting cardsfor no reason.
No, I, have a reason and thereason is they come in handy
(05:08):
like when I, when I need to givesomebody a birthday card.
I always have a birthday card ifI need to give them a grief
card.
I always have a grief card.
You have like a card foreverything.
I have a card for everything.
You want a funny one?
You want a sentimental one?
You want one one with lions,tigers, bears, Dragons.
Children's birthday, adultbirthday.
You want a gender theme,non-gender theme.
You want a Spanish and orEnglish?
(05:32):
That's micro hoarding.
That is my one thing because Ireally admired the way that our
grandma used to buy cards at thebeginning of the year for all
her grandchildren's birthdays.
And then she'd have'em filledout with our Sizzler coupon or
our$20 gift card to EL Loco, andshe would have them filled out
for the entire year.
And I really like that, so likethat's something I want to keep
(05:54):
doing.
So I always have cards availableto me to be able to fill them
out.
I am yet to see a card with asizzler coupon or a five dollar
el pollo loco.
I've never given you a sizzlercoupon, but now that we're
saying it out loud, I shouldstart.
I used to love those, thosecards.
I did too.
It was so cute.
It's like, I'm gonna get my$5and my sizzler meal.
It was wonderful and when I wasa kid, that was like, I was
(06:16):
rich.
Yeah.
We were gonna go to the to theliquor store down the street and
I was gonna get all kinds ofcandy.
My in-laws give you cash for thenumber of years that you've been
alive.
The older you get, the more youget.
It's the greatest ever.
It's just so sweet and I think Ilike that sentiment.
So I do collect cards for that.
My other goal was to start justmaking a ton of photo albums, so
(06:39):
I do have those two photo albumsas a project, because I have a
ton of photos, but I never framethem or put them in albums but
it's because I've moved so muchand I got really detached to the
concept of keeping things.
I think that there is a benefitto it, right?
There are things that areanchored in memories.
That's why like when you startgoing through a box of stuff and
(06:59):
you're like, oh my God, Iremember this.
Oh my god, remember that.
Or, you know, this happened andwe start getting real
sentimental but I do think weneed to be selective on which
ones we keep and not keepeverything.
As you get older you also becomevery knicknacky, this is a true
thing.
I don't know why it happens.
It just happens.
(07:19):
So you go and go to shows,theater, whatever and you like
kind of wanna keep somethingfrom it but at the same time, I
don't want to create clutter, soI have to pick like the smallest
thing.
So I pick like pins or magnets.
I had to make a consciousdecision like if I get
something, it's gotta besomething I can wear, like a
(07:39):
t-shirt or something that I'mactually gonna wear or something
small because then if I have alot of them, it's okay, they fit
in a tiny little box, a shoebox, and it's fine.
Yeah, and they say that mementosfor meaningful moments like
travel or events can sparkcreativity or joy, and that's
why people tend to do them AKA,your buying of pins and things.
Yeah.
I like buying funny pins thatI'm gonna put on my backpack.
(08:01):
I do like stickers.
That kind of ties to likeidentity and personality, right?
Yeah.
It's super cheap and affordableand it's a fun way to express
yourself, like you're saying.
And I put stickers on my laptop,which a lot of people are like,
blasphemous, how dare you?
I'm like, dude, this thing'sgonna break, like they break, I
don't know if you know this butwe all die.
I do collect books too, wait,I'm making a lot of confessions
(08:24):
right now.
Yeah.
I told you, you collected books.
No, okay.
You guys all collect books?
We all collect books, we're abook family but I collect books,
like people collect wine.
So I buy books it doesn't meanI'm gonna read them.
Which is a collector.
But at the right moment in timewhen it makes most sense, the
(08:45):
universe aligns it to where itneeds to be those books will be
read.
I don't even need to go to thebookstore guys.
How do you think clutter in yourhome affects your nervous
system?
I know how it affects mine.
I have like what I like to callborderline OCD.
You dabble in it.
I dabble.
It's almost like you get realclear on an idea you have,
(09:09):
there's a very steep cliff wherelike an hour later, cut to me on
the floor in my closet cryingbecause I made such a mess.
Yes.
Because I had a moment like thatwhere I was like so motivated,
and I was like, I'm gonna, MarieKondo the shit out of this
closet.
(09:29):
I'm gonna go through everything,only keep things that feel
really good to me, and I'm gonnaget rid of all the excess.
So I started this process bypulling everything out because I
thought in the moment, geniusidea, I'll pull everything out
because then it will force me togo through each pile.
I do that, by the way, when Iput my clothes away, so we are
(09:53):
related.
Let us know if you can relate.
And it's also a woman thing'cause that's one thing I've
learned over the years is thatthe way it shows up in us shows
up differently than potentiallyin men.
Yeah and that cliff hit hard andI deep dove down into like, I
can't do this.
You were overwhelmed.
I was so overwhelmed, I was likegoing from pile to pile the ADHD
(10:14):
spiral happened then my partnercame home and I ran and slammed
the door and I was like, don'tlook in here.
For the safety of all of us, donot go in this room.
You're like, you're sleepingdownstairs tonight.
I'm so sorry.
He's like, what did you do?
I'm like, don't even look at it.
I'll take care of it.
(10:34):
Don't worry.
So I cried through the wholething, sweat, tears, the whole
nine.
And I finally got through, atone point I just started putting
things away and not really goingthrough it anymore.
You exhausted yourself.
I was like, I just have to foldit and put it back.
I've reached my capacity, now,these four drawers are gonna be
a mystery.
To be continued on another day.
(10:54):
As Andy knows, I do like swordsof laundry at one time, and so
I'll tend to take all the cleanlaundry put it on my bed, then I
get the drawers and I flip allthe drawers out onto the bed.
I'll sort through it and I'lljust be like, bitty, bitty
bom-bom my way to like order andcleanliness.
And I think it's because there'slike an element of like
(11:17):
functionality, setting myself upfor success, knowing where
everything is.
I think it really does impact mynervous system because I
recognize that.
I have a very insecureattachment to things growing up
without a lot of stuff.
And like also growing up in ahome that could sometimes be
chaotic that also feltcluttered, when it was chaotic.
(11:41):
So I kind of associate the twothings.
So it makes me very anxious anduncomfortable, when there's too
much stuff to where that'sspilling out of everywhere and I
can't keep it organized.
To where you're like, shoot, wehave too many things.
We have to like taper this downimmediately stat because it does
impact my mental health and itis directly correlated to how we
(12:04):
grew up and the impact that thathad on me.
I do see that because I think tosome degree our mom kind of had
that too.
I think she still does.
Yeah.
She's better about it though.
But when we were growing up,that's probably why there was so
much clutters'cause she didn'tknow if she would get the
(12:26):
opportunity to get somethingagain.
She was very similar in therespect that getting overwhelmed
and not knowing how to properlydispose of things.
I think, now I'm just like, I amthrow away, crazy So much so
that sometimes she'll even belike, stop throwing things away.
Really?
Because you're gonna startthrowing things away.
Yeah'cause then everybody, theylike start putting caution tape
across their doors.
(12:46):
and they're like, don't come inhere, leave my stuff alone.
You don't need to clean thatroom.
I'm like.
Relax.
I'm just cleaning my own closet.
But they know once I go on likethat rampage, I start like, we
don't need this, we don't needthis.
And I'll start just throwingthings away and it can get a
little outta control.
Yeah.
I do the same thing.
But do you think that we as asociety especially being so
(13:07):
consumer focused, do you thinkwe confuse abundance with
excess?
We can definitely find ourselvesin these consumerism loops,
especially with social mediayou're seeing all of these
things marketed at you.
And it's a quick tap, tap, tapbefore it's at your house.
Also, the idea of like abundanceversus excess, it's like well, I
(13:30):
have the funds to do it, soobviously it's okay, it's not
excessive.
But I do think that we confusethis idea of abundance.
Like we're doing well, we haveall these things we can see it
as a status symbol of abundance,but in reality it's a very fine
line between that and excess.
(13:50):
And I actually started tonotice, like when I would
simplify things, something assimple as like my makeup routine
to my closet, to my officespace.
I just felt so much better.
And I felt happier and I startedto feel more comfortable in my
own space.
And then I started seeing,'causeI love International House
(14:12):
hunters.
It's like one of my favoriteshows.
Watching other cultures livevery simply in their homes and
like how their home wasdecorated, how their closets are
small because they don't havelike an excessive wardrobe.
They only buy what they need andthen replace as they need to and
I started seeing that and I waslike, oh, that sounds really
nice.
(14:33):
Just from like a maintenancestandpoint of things you have to
clean.
That sounds great.
What about like, culturalnarratives around like
collecting too many things?
I do remember our grandma.
Actually on both sides, havinglike a lot of chucherias which
is like just little collectiblethings on shelves.
(14:53):
She was like into clowns, whichwould really freak me out but
she had all kinds of clownfigurines.
I hated those damn clowns.
And we all, we all blocked itout of our memories.
Yeah.
But I think culturally too,there's this thing about like
when you make your house a homeand you decorate, you bring in
things that bring you joy andsometimes it can be excessive.
(15:13):
Like we had an aunt who lovedMiss Piggy and she had like a
ton of pigs.
Like when it becomes too much.
There's something to be saidabout, making space for new
things in your life.
Literally and figuratively, andsometimes they're related,
right?
Like sometimes if you can clearthe physical clutter in your
(15:35):
home.
It can have an impact in otherareas of your life.
When you do that, you feel morecomfortable, more relaxed.
As humans have a tendency tohold onto things.
For sentimental reasons, usuallythere are probably a list of
other reasons that people holdonto stuff, whether healthy or
not.
How funny you say that'causethere is a list emotional
(15:56):
connection, identity,inspiration and motivation and
social connection, continue.
So like in the same veins, wouldyou prefer living in a big
space?
That was too empty or a smallspace?
That was also empty.
Yeah, minimalist living.
Or have you ever lived in aspace that was too big or too
empty?
(16:16):
No, i've been poor my whole lifebut if anybody wants to give me
a big space to live in that youain't using.
DM us, drop us a comment.
We'll take it.
Um, no, i've always lived inrelatively, medium spaces.
One time we all lived togetherin a pretty big house.
(16:38):
Yeah, that was a big space.
I guess a small space, a smallspace is maintainable to me with
very little clutter.
Like I would probably have itvery minimal.
yeah because they, you know whatthey say, smaller space, bigger
life.
Have you ever lived in a spacethat was too big or too empty?
Yeah, I prefer spaces that feelcozy.
(16:58):
I do like the idea of designatedareas'cause, i'm older now and I
just don't wanna have to get inmy car and drive to the gym.
I'd rather have a space that'slike designated for me at home.
Not that I use it anymore than Iwould going to the gym but just
in case one day.
Yeah.
I decide I'm gonna be really ontop of it.
You guys workout though?
We do workout, so I do like thatbut like as far as like living
(17:22):
space, I like a big communalliving space.
That feels cozy.
I don't see myself being happyin a giant house with like 20
different rooms and you know.
I just don't see it, even like amassive kitchen.
No, I need a good sized kitchenthat has like enough counter
space where we can all hang out,but I don't need it to be over
(17:43):
the top.
Yeah, no, that would drive menuts.
Just the idea of cleaning it.
Also, I'd be super paranoid ifthere were so many rooms.
I have this thing at nighttimewhere I have to lock everything
and I have to double check, andthen triple check.
So imagine if you had like 13rooms.
I'd be running a marathon,trying to lock my house down
every night.
No, I need a smaller space.
And like you were sayingearlier, like the state of our
(18:05):
spaces reflect our mental healthalso, right?
I think I would just be totallynuts if I had a giant space that
I had to keep in order.
Like I would have to have a lotof help maintaining that, I
wouldn't be able to do itmyself.
Yeah.
It's a lot of work.
It's too much work.
So I do like a simplified homeand just enough space for people
(18:28):
so that you have your ownprivate space you can go to, but
not excessive.
And I've downsized before from abig house to a small house, and
that's a nightmare but once youadjust, you're like, oh, this is
not so bad, it's kind of nice.
I will say though, there's adifference between having too
much stuff, fill all the spacesand you mentioned, the concept
(18:51):
of when you're growing up withvery little and you always wanna
have like a full pantry or haveexcess goods in terms of like
what you need as your basicsurvival goods.
Just to have extra.
Yeah, I always wanna have extrain case like hardship comes or
something.
And then I, normally like set upto always have that excess.
(19:12):
I actually learned that from anold friend's mother.
And when we were growing up, Iwas like, you have so much stuff
you have so much food and sheexplained to me that because she
had food insecurity, she alwayshad her pantry stocked no matter
what.
Mm-hmm.
And then like clicked in myhead.
So I feel like if I had a biggerspace, I'd have a wild pantry
like one of those, like whereyou walk into it and then like
(19:34):
as you walk, like the lightslight up.
Making your own soap.
If I had a basement, I would belike totally set for, you know,
rough times.
I'd have a cool ass pantry, agame room, a little movie
theater, and then a bed.
So there's more there than justa small home that you said
earlier.
A small home on top and then avery well furnish survival
(19:57):
bunker underneath.
With a movie theater.
With a movie theater.
Game room.
A small movie theater.
They're not one and the same.
It's not even like a communalgame room.
They're two separate rooms.
Oh, that's true.
You could make the movie theaterin the game room into one.
It's called like a family room.
Not even a bathroom.
I'm not thinking this out verywell.
No, you're not.
I think you need to go back tothe drawing board on your dream
(20:18):
home.
For sure, it's always nice tohave a little extra, like, you
know, having a little movieroom, that's pretty cool.
I want the big pool in thebackyard.
As long as I can have someonemaintain it for me.
So you want a bigger space then?
Yes and no.
I don't want a massive housethough.
So small house, lots ofamenities.
Well, like medium house.
(20:40):
Andy's medium house, lots ofamenities.
I'm small house, hidden bunker.
If I had to pick massive mansionon a five acre estate with, very
little income, like you'respending all your time taking
care of your state.
You don't have a lot of extraNo.
Versus smaller, more practicalspace but bigger life, more
(21:04):
money you're out of the house,more, you're doing more, you're
experiencing life more.
You're traveling.
Your space is big enough for youto host dinners with your
friends and family, like I wouldpick that, over the massive.
Estate with all the cool stuff.
Yeah because it echoes like a,just a higher quality of life.
Yeah.
I would want the better qualityof life.
(21:26):
For sure.
Smaller space, bigger life.
So why do we believe we needmore to feel accomplished?
Depending on which state you'rein'cause in Texas it's also the
bigger things that you have andwe know,'cause we lived in Texas
for a brief period of time.
Mm-hmm.
But the more that you have ingeneral, the more accomplished
you appear to be.
I also think that, we're soldthis idea, and especially in the
(21:49):
US and this may be true in otherplaces too, but speaking from an
American perspective.
That you're accomplished whenyou get the degree, you get the
relationship, you build thefamily, you buy the house, you
have the car, you have themortgage.
You've checked all the boxes.
But all of these boxes requiredyou to live a very confined
life.
(22:10):
That's more about excess andstuff, than it is about
experiences you don't oftenhear, if you're gonna check any
boxes, it should be these rightexperiences, joy, travel, like
these are all things that youhave to consciously choose.
So you kind of have to decide.
For some people.
That's all they want, andthey're fine with that but for
(22:31):
other people, you kind of gettoward the end or later in life
and you're like, oh man, I kindof missed out.
I wanna have all theseexperiences now.
I want the smaller space and thebigger life, and I've chosen the
bigger space and the smallerlife.
I've always had these littlemoments where the universe has
reminded me that like yourthings and your titles and your
(22:53):
money is not the goal.
These little pit stops where theuniverse kind of redirects me
when it can, you know?
And I'm really grateful for thatbecause I do think that, that is
very true, but it does buy youfreedom a lot of the times.
I also know that that is a hugething for consumerism and for
American life is like there arevery, very real check boxes that
(23:17):
people feel they have toaccomplish in order to feel
accomplished or to feel liketheir life had value in meaning.
Along the lines of what Andysays is like, you just need to
invest in your life and you'llfind a lot more value and
meaning in the way that you showup and the people you surround
yourself with, and the placesyou get to see, and the cultures
you get to experience and thethings you allow yourself to be
(23:38):
curious about.
Everything else is temporary.
The moral of the story is thatjoy comes from clarity and
simplicity, not clutter andexcess cause all those things
where you're checking the boxes,it's like you're just
collecting.
You're collecting things thatare holding a lot of value for
you, but in the clutter, thereis the potential to get lost in
(24:04):
it.
And I do think that clutter inyour life and excess of things,
pulls you away a little bit fromthis idea of having clarity and
finding joy and finding likedeeper meaning.
And I'm saying this from my ownpersonal experience, the more
I've let go of that, the happierI have become and the more I am
(24:30):
able to tap into joy and ease inmy life.
It does coincide with theconcept that you talked about
earlier, which is creating spacefor new things, new experiences,
new opportunities.
This idea of simplicity, itreally is like this radical act
of self-trust.
You're trusting yourself enoughto know if I need it, I'll get
it and I don't need to fill myspace with things.
(24:56):
But also since we're talkingabout like decluttering, because
we talk about declutteringstuff, decluttering your house,
your life goals.
Where in your life do you thinkyou could create more space?
Social media, over consumptionof media and marketing is really
(25:17):
tough on our brains.
It isn't necessarily trying toharm anybody but I think the
overconsumption of consistentads and influencers and all
these things, harping reminderof all the expectations and
societal pressures and stigmasand all those things.
And whether it's from people Iknow we always wanna be
intentional about our friendsthat we wanna invest our support
(25:39):
in.
A lot of people have their ownpodcasts, their creative
endeavors, their personalbusinesses, and so trying to
catch them in between all theclutter can be really hard
sometimes, especially whenyou're following too many
people.
So I am a big advocate forsocial media decluttering.
Yeah, I second that notion.
What about you?
I think I need to declutter myschedule.
(26:02):
Mind you, it's summertime, it'sprobably a little decluttered on
its own right now.
I need to be more protective ofit, in that way'cause my
schedule can feel like it'scluttered.
There's too many things onthere, too many to-dos, too many
meetings, too many this, toomany that.
If I'm too jam packed, there'sno room for anything else.
You heard it here first, from avery busy professional business
lady.
(26:23):
Yeah, for me, my schedule hasbeen decluttered.
Your version of decluttering isyou just wanted hit delete.
I just deleted everything.
You just sent blanket cancelmessages to everybody.
I was just telling two of myfriends the other day that I'm
in my hermit phase.
I feel like I need to preserve,so almost like a bear, going
(26:46):
into winter.
Yeah, it's called the Wintering.
I don't love summer.
It's definitely not my season.
I'm more of a fall person, butbecause I like the cooler
temperatures, light sweaters,things like that.
Fall late, fall early winter butI do love the beach, I just like
water.
(27:07):
I personally love water whenit's falling from the sky.
So I'm major fall winter person.
So you're hermit face becauseit's too hot?
Yeah, it's starting to get warm,so I'm starting to check out.
So is that why, so you're sayingbecause of the weather you're
decluttering your calendar andminimizing activities with your
(27:27):
friends.
I'm just trying to understand.
Yeah.
I'm glad we got thatclarification.
And there's a lot going on andso my brain is like.
Well, this makes perfect sense,it's about that time.
It's about that time for me togo into hiding.
I think I'm going into hiding alittle sooner than they would
like.
(27:50):
I will emerge a new butterfly inthe fall.
Hilarious.
And I think that coincides withlike, decluttering friendships.
Those that'll still be there inthe fall, our real friends.
That's how you know that they'veweathered the storm with you.
Well, you know, joy doesn'talways look like a tropical
vacation in Florida or buyingnew things.
(28:13):
Sometimes it's just asimplified, uncluttered morning
indoors or breathing room inyour schedule.
Or finally donating those genesfrom 2008.
I didn't get rid of a lot ofthose things.
I like let go of a lot of stuff.
I do too.
Because I was watching the newStacy and Clinton fashion show.
(28:33):
One of the things that she saidis, if you're holding onto
things from years ago becauseyou think you're gonna fit into
them, that it's very toxic.
It's very unhealthy for yoursoul.
You have to let it go.
She just like, totally called meout.
So part of my decluttering of mycloset was I did go deep down
and find all this stuff that Iwas holding onto of like, oh no,
(28:57):
it'll fit the way I want it toeventually, right and then I'll
wear it, and then I'll feelgood.
And I was like, you know, she'sright.
This is toxic.
So I let it go.
I donated it.
Some of the stuff still had tagson it, that's very sad.
Or I gave it to, Mitch.
She gets all the new tag stuff.
Sometimes or our mother, it is,she's like the hippest lady I'll
(29:18):
ever mean in your life.
She literally gets all of ourhand-me-downs and she is like
fly.
All the time.
All the time.
And she loves fashion so much.
So shout out to our mom.
That should be assigned to youthat I'm.
In a decluttering or a DHDspiral because I'll text you and
I'll be like, do you want these?
I've gotten so many shoes fromAndy.
(29:39):
And I feel like what happens isthat you'll give me a bunch of
things and then I have to goback in my wardrobe and let go
of all the shabby stuff that Ihad.
So now I have all these likehighend chic things.
We're gonna play a game segmentnow called"Keep It or Kick It"
where we get to ask each otherquestions.
Would you keep it or kick itliterally or figuratively?
Play along with us if you'dlike.
(30:01):
Alright, Andy, would you keep 27water bottles?
Wait, are they empty or do theyhave water in them?
There's no context.
Well, obviously if they havewater in them, you keep it
because that's emergencypreparedness.
For the end of the world typestuff, you want 27 or if you
just have visitors, you want 27water bottles.
(30:22):
It's gonna be hard to carry 27water bottles when you're
escaping your home.
Would you keep it or kick it?
Your toxic productivity mindset.
Oh, I kicked it a long time ago.
Does that mean that myproductivity has dropped?
Perhaps.
But you gotta kick it, you can'tbe toxic about like produce,
(30:44):
produce, produce, produce.
Hit the market, hit the market,hit the mark, right.
You have to find the balance.
I still have my toxicproductivity mindset.
I am really good at not doinganything or doing everything at
once.
So I need to figure out abalance.
Are you good at that?
Just because you do it doesn'tmean you're good at it.
It's a gift, okay andy?
It's a gift.
(31:06):
When I'm productive, I'mproductive.
I'm very mood based if I'm notin the mood to be productive.
There ain't nothing happening.
You're getting zero quality workoutta me.
Well from a professionalstandpoint, I think both of us
are like even our 35% is alwaysgreat.
I tested this my last year ofwork.
(31:28):
Hopefully my old employer neverhears this, and if they do, I'm
so sorry and also,congratulations on, your new
hire.
Hang on, hang on.
So you basically showed up towork purposefully at 35%.
At 35% for an entire year.
A year, you test it for like aweek?
What is it called?
Silent, quitting.
They even asked me that duringmy review if I was silent,
(31:50):
quitting.
I was 35% checking if it wasstill the right position for me.
I was working and doingincredible work for like a solid
four years, and then I keptgetting passed up on title bumps
but I was getting pay increasesand a lot more responsibility.
(32:11):
And the compliment that I wasgetting is because you're just
so good, we wanna give you X, Y,and Z.
Because you're just so capable.
We're gonna give you X, Y, andZ.
Because I see so much potential,we're gonna give you X, Y, and
Z.
But it never came with a propertitle.
Because of that, I only gave 35%for an entire year, and at the
end of the year.
They went to review my work andI gave myself for the first time
(32:35):
outta those five years, astellar self review.
And I got a 98% review.
At 35%.
At 35%.
So our 35% is always a hundredpercent of a regular person.
Yes, we're pretty amazing andalso humble.
With the exception of one timewhen I interviewed and I told
them, yeah, I'm a hundredpercent capable, I don't really
make a lot of mistakes that Ican't fix.
(32:57):
And I'm like, oh, by the way, Itook your test I didn't know the
answer to the last one, so Ijust put, I'll get back to you.
No, you didn't.
I did, yeah.
Hot off the press tips for allof you job seekers out there.
I wasn't gonna pull out my phoneand like cheat on the test but I
(33:18):
also didn't know the answer, soI wasn't gonna pretend like I
did know the answer because thatwould also be wrong.
Okay, so you're keeping yourtoxic positivity mindset.
I'm working on it.
Back to the game at hand.
Back to regularly scheduledprogramming.
Keep it or kick it, threeplanners you don't use, this is
a great question for you.
(33:39):
Okay are the planners dated?
Because if they're dated, we'llkick it, but if they're, if I
can just add the dates in, thenwe're keeping them.
So you're keeping them.
Yeah.
Moving on.
Okay.
Clothes you haven't worn in twoyears keep it or kick it.
I'm trying to be better aboutkicking it.
(34:00):
I think I'm pretty close, i'mgiving it my best, yeah, my full
35%.
You're giving it your full 35%.
I have a couple things that Ihaven't worn in two years that I
will keep.
You know what it is?
They fit, they fit.
I tried them on and theyactually look really cute.
I just have to know where to go.
So just keep'em.
(34:21):
Anything that didn't fit, Ialready donated'cause I was
like, why am I gonna make myselffeel bad.
And then there's the ones thatyou just have but you never
wear.
Like their first specialoccasions or something.
Yeah or something.
Keep it or kick it, feelingguilty for resting.
Kick it.
Kick it.
Good.
(34:43):
A lot of people battle withthis, they feel guilty for
resting, so they don't, theydon't slow down.
They don't rest.
Probably the idea ofdecluttering their schedules and
things is anxiety provoking.
Because they don't wanna feelguilty for not doing things
right and not being productive.
I kicked that a while back too.
(35:03):
I need to rest, otherwise I'museless to myself and the rest
of the world.
If I don't rest, I'm just adrunk man.
Keep it or kick it a drawer fullof tangled chargers.
Kick it, i'll just get'em on andthrow'em away.
I'll just detangle them.
I'll go to the store and buy anew one.
Five Below has such greatchargers.
(35:24):
Okay.
The belief that busyness equalsvalue.
Kick that to the curb.
Kick it.
The answer, my friend, is thatyou are valuable as you are.
Take your light saver and I'llswing it in a circle, schwing,
schwing, schwing.
Keep it or kick it.
(35:45):
Items you have in your house asdecor that were given to you as
gifts by exes.
Oh, I had this.
Is it there still?
No.
I had a photograph that an extook of the sixth Street bridge
in LA for me, as a birthdaygift.
And I had it because the sixthStreet bridge has since been
demolished.
(36:06):
Every time I saw the image, Iremembered that person.
So I ended up kicking it.
I threw it out.
Despite the fact that it's a sixfree bridge and there's not a
lot of pictures of it left.
I don't have anything like that,so it's not an issue for me.
This is true.
I've also been with my personfor 24 years, so we're, we're
(36:28):
all good.
So, other ways to simplify anddeclutter is to introduce a
daily simplicity check-in.
Like ask yourself, what'sessential today?
Decluttering is an art form.
You do have to practice.
You do have to work through alot of things that might come up
(36:48):
with decluttering.
It does bring about a simplicitythat brings joy and ease.
And like Mitch talked aboutearlier, there is a lot of
research to support why.
So for example, a lot of likehigh level business people keep
a very simple wardrobe so theydon't have to overthink, and
(37:10):
that was one of the things thatSteve Jobs did.
He wore the same outfit all thetime, so he didn't have to worry
about it.
It was one less thing for him tohave to think about stress
about.
It created like a calm and anease to his routine every day.
And I can see how that works.
I don't know if I'd wanna wearthe same thing every single day,
but I can definitely see thebenefit in that.
(37:31):
And it's affordable.
Yeah, for the most part.
Simplicity actually doesregulate your nervous system as
well and when your environmentis chaotic, your body reads it
as a threat.
You're more likely to be in aconstant state of fight or
flight.
Spaces can increase cortisollevels, organized and calm
spaces promote parasyntheticnervous system activity, the
(37:52):
rest and digest mode.
So after cleaning out a draweror walking into a tiny room, you
know how you get that instantbreath of fresh air, or feels
lighter, like you said earlier.
Yeah.
That's, that.
That's very the magic of that.
It's your actual nervous systemreacting.
It also increases gratitude andpresence.
(38:13):
So when you have less, younotice more.
And the research in amindfulness shows that being
present increases joy andminimalism naturally encourages
mindfulness.
So there are a lot of teachingsthat, encourage releasing
attachment to excess things andcreate open space for
appreciation.
So it's like we were talkingabout, like when you notice that
(38:34):
you can actually feel joy andlive a fuller, bigger life, when
you have a simple home and yousimplify your routines.
Finding joy and simple momentslike your morning cafecito
ritual, a walk without yourphone, or even sometimes wearing
the same outfit and not caringor similar, right, and not
(38:57):
caring.
It creates financial andemotional freedom.
the less you chase, the less youspend, the more you gain.
People who embrace voluntarysimplicity report higher life
satisfaction and lower financialanxiety.
Not having to constantlyupgrade, decorate, or hustle
brings a feeling of liberationand self-trust.
(39:19):
Decluttering and simplifyingaligns your life with your
values, not noise.
So this idea of simplicity letsyou see what matters most and
when you declutter.
You are not just removingobjects, you're removing
misaligned expectations anddistractions.
And when you are existing from avalues aligned living space, it
(39:44):
is actually linked to greaterpsychological well-being.
And when people can name theirtop three values and simplify
their life around them, theyreport feeling more in control
and fulfilled.
So being clear about what you'revalues are, and your current
priorities in life are, helpsyou stay connected to this idea
(40:04):
of living simply anddecluttering and tapping into
more joy and helps you honorthat on a regular basis.
So simplicity is not aboutdeprivation, right?
That's not what we're talkingabout here.
It's about liberation.
You're not giving something up.
You're looking for ways to giveback to yourself.
So here's your permission slipto unsubscribe, unfollow,
(40:27):
unclutter, unpeople please,whatever you need to simplify
today.
Remember, less stuff equals moreroom for joy, for breathing and
for being.
If this episode sparkedsomething for you, share it with
your favorite declutter buddy oryour most chaotic friend who
needs it badly.
And don't forget to subscribe.
(40:48):
Rate us five stars or higher andcatch the next episode of Andy
and Mitch.
Catch you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com