August 13, 2025 • 35 mins
Not Too Old, Not Too Late: Rewriting the Rules of Aging
Forget everything you’ve been told about getting older. In this episode of Andi & Mich, two sisters, two generations, and two unapologetic opinions tackle the myths, stereotypes, and straight-up lies about aging. From the cultural timelines we never asked for to the quiet (and loud) ways ageism shows up in our daily lives, we’re calling BS.
We share personal stories about breaking “too old” barriers, the groundbreaking Counterclockwise Study that proved mindset can literally reverse aging effects, and a powerful list of famous people who found massive success later in life — from Viola Davis to Colonel Sanders (yes, the KFC guy).
If you’ve ever been told “you’re too old” to change careers, start a business, go back to school, wear what you want, or try something new… this episode is your permission slip to ignore the noise and write your own story.
You’ll learn:
- Why mindset matters more than your birth year
- How to catch and challenge your own age-related limiting beliefs
- The truth about how AI & media manipulate “aging” images
- Real-life examples of late bloomers who proved it’s never too late
- How different cultures view aging — and why it matters
Whether you’re 26 or 66, it’s time to reframe aging as an opportunity, not a limitation.
💬 Your Turn: Tag us on Instagram with your “Too old to WHAT?” moments. Let’s start a movement.
🎧 Listen now and subscribe so you never miss our warm, funny, and unapologetically real takes on life, love, and living on your own terms.
#AgingMindset #NeverTooLate #TooOldToWhat #AgePositivity #BreakTheAgeRules #LateBloomers #MidlifeMotivation #DefyAge #MindsetMatters #LifeAtAnyAge #WomenOver40 #WomenOver50 #GenXAndMillennial #AndiAndMichPodcast #RewriteYourStory #AgingGracefully #MindsetShift #AgeismAwareness #InspirationAtAnyAge #PodcastForWomen
If you liked this episode please like and follow our podcast, leave us a comment, and share it with a friend. Visit us on Youtube for extra content and full episodes https://www.youtube.com/@AndiandMich
Your support helps us to keep the conversations going. <3
-Andi and Mich
The Andi and Mich Podcast: Two Sisters, Two Generations, Unique Perspectives, Lots of Laughs
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to Andy and Mitch,the podcast where two sisters,
two generations, and twoopinions come together to talk
about all the things.
Today we're diving into a topicthat hits everybody age, but not
just birthdays and back pain.
We're talking about mindset andthe lies we've been told about
what aging means.
Because over 50 years ofresearch says it, plain mindset
(00:24):
changes everything.
Your confidence, yourcreativity, and even your
biology.
So let's talk about rewritingthe story of age.
Grab your cafecito and let'sdive in.
We're talking about age andgetting older and wiser.
So lemme ask you this, when didyou first feel too old to do
(00:46):
something?
That's a tough question.
I think probably in my latetwenties, early thirties.
You start to notice it more whenpeople start making comments
like"oh, do you really wanna tryand change careers right now?
Or do you really wanna go backto school?
Do you really wanna wear thatcrop top?" Like aren't you a
(01:07):
little old to still be trying tofigure it out?
That's peak existential, bloomtime it's nobody's business.
I think the first time it wasreally impacting me was my last
work environment.
So many people were saying itabout themselves and implying it
when I would share stories ofwhat I was doing.
(01:29):
Like, oh, that's reallywonderful, I could never do
that, i'm just too old forthat." I'm looking at them,
looking at me and I'm like, Iknow you're judging me right
now.
You just told me you're judgingme.
I think that's when it startedkind of hitting me and I started
feeling like I'm becoming rigidwith my ideals and like how I am
seeing myself.
I'm starting to put the walls ofthe box up and then I freaked
(01:51):
out and I was like, I gotta getoutta here.
it's because like your soulknew.
That like, no, no, no, no thisis the wrong thing.
You're like suffocating us.
Yes.
In the process.
And also it's like too lateaccording to who, like where did
this construct even come from?
Because we've been conditionedto believe that there is some
sort of timeline on our lives.
(02:11):
And if we miss it, then we'vemissed out, and that's it.
And I don't think that's true.
Like I remember going to gradschool in my thirties and I had
taken like a big gap time offbetween school, because the
first part took me forever.
And then I became a new mom,started a new job, and then went
(02:34):
to grad school.
And so everybody, it had intheir mind what my timeline was
gonna be.
And then I changed it because Idecided.
Which was a huge, bold move.
That, oh, I'm actually not gonnapursue a career directly in what
I went to college for.
I'm gonna try this other thingthat came up still a very
(02:58):
respectable career path.
It was not a foreseen thing.
It just kind of came up as anopportunity.
And so I was very curious.
I'm like, okay, I'm gonna dothat instead.
Everybody flipped out, everybodyhad an opinion about like the
timeline of my life and how Iwas going off track.
Like, no, you're too old forthis.
You can't just change your mindnow.
Like you already went to gradschool, so you have to do the
(03:19):
thing that you said you weregonna do.
And for years, even now to thisday, and that's been like, 15
years since that happened,people will still have an
opinion of like, oh, you shouldjust go back and do the thing
that you said you were gonna doto begin with.
Because they can't deal with thefact that like I chose to do
something different, at adifferent age in my way that
(03:41):
didn't follow the script.
Yeah, you did it your way.
Culture pushes this PrerogativeMagazine, headlines, job
listings, TikTok trends.
You get to a certain point whereyou start to realize that all of
that is just bullshit.
It's all noise.
Because look at us, right?
(04:02):
Like you're a millennial.
I'm a young Gen Xer.
Thank you very much.
And we're like, oh, hey, let'sstart a podcast.
In the realm of like popculture, it'd be like, oh no
like that's a young people'sgame.
But why like, why does it haveto be a young people's game?
Right.
And if we buy into it, then wesuppress not only our lives and
(04:23):
our light but also opportunitiesfor ourselves.
We've talked about this in otherepisodes, when you're trying to
fit like other people'snarratives of what your life is
supposed to look like, you canlose yourself really easily.
Mm-hmm.
And it becomes incredibly hardto find your way back.
There's like this saying that'slike if you're going the wrong
direction, get off as soon asyou recognize it because if you
(04:45):
keep going that direction, ittakes one much longer to find
your way back.
And even now, like being in myforties, to some people they
hear that and it feels so old.
You know, and then for a momentI was like, oh yeah, like I'm in
my forties now.
Now I have to make differentdecisions and they have to be
like very carefully planned andthought out and long term.
(05:08):
I started to feel that pressureof, oh shoot, why haven't I done
all the things that I wassupposed to quote unquote do by
the time I got into my forties?
And also.
Looking ahead.
When you're, when you look aheadwith that mindset, you start to
think that the future islimited.
I started to catch myselffeeling like there's not gonna
(05:30):
be new job opportunities for me.
Or now, like if I wanna becurious about different career
paths, I can't do that becausenow it's too late and I pass the
window of opportunity.
Yeah.
Community.
And even for the best of us,like we get caught up in this
narrative that is completelyfalse.
And the research proves thisbecause what got me thinking
(05:52):
about this topic is I readsomething about, a study that
was done in the late seventiescalled the Counterclockwise
Study that literally showed thatwhen adults were immersed in an
environment.
From their youth, theyphysically improved their vision
improved.
Their posture improved.
Their memory improved.
(06:12):
They literally aged down.
Just solely based on believingthat they were still that
version of themselves.
And shifting how they sawthemselves and that's so
powerful because they didn't doanything else for this group
besides that.
Besides say, okay, you are now20 years younger.
(06:34):
And to help you believe thatwe're gonna put you in this
environment.
You're gonna dress how you usedto dress, you're gonna listen to
the music you, you used tolisten to.
You're gonna eat the foods,you're gonna talk about those
times, and then you're gonna goabout your day as if you are
that version of yourself and itchanged them completely.
That's wild.
That's why I look so young'causemy room hasn't changed since I
(06:56):
was in my twenties.
I mean, it's like new andimproved, but it's the same.
You know?
I also wonder now that you'resaying that like, you know how
like at a certain point in lifeand if you're listening, you
haven't gotten there yet, thenkudos to you but you stop
listening to new music and youonly listen to your music and
you only listen to your oldmusic.
(07:16):
And it's almost like there's apart of you that knows.
I mean, I listen to a lot of newmusic but it's because I'm
active in the music world.
But majority of the time whenyou're like, Hey, let me put
something on that's gonna makeme feel good.
Is it a new song or is it an oldsong?
It depends, like for me, you'regonna get a mixed bag.
So sometimes it's new, sometimesit's old and sometimes what I've
(07:37):
noticed now that I'm gettingolder is that I'm becoming more
open to genres than I was when Iwas younger.
I was a little bit more criticalwhen I was younger.
Yeah, when you were younger.
Wink, wink.
But I can see that a lot ofpeople would do that from a
psychological standpoint and noteven know that they were doing
(07:59):
it.
It's like almost like they'retime capsuling themselves.
And in the study they noticedresults in just one week.
This wasn't like six months, ayear, two years that they put
them in, it was one week.
That's like a vacation for mostpeople.
Like just in one vacation youcan change everything and what
(08:20):
was even more wild is that a lotof them actually looked visibly
younger.
Like because their mindsetchanged.
Their biology, their bodystarted to shift.
Change with it.
You know what I'm realizing asyou're saying this is like this
is a great opportunity forpeople who own Airbnbs.
(08:41):
They did time capsule Airbnbsthat people can rent.
Or VRBO'cause you know Airbnb.
Oh yeah.
V-R-B-O-I don't even, you know,when you said that, I was like,
what does virtual reality haveto do with this.
VRB?
Right Back, what?
This is how, you know, you startaging out'cause the acronyms
don't make any sense to youanymore.
(09:01):
But like, sometimes people sayacronyms and I'm like, yeah,
I'll just figure it out later.
Every time you say MCE?
Yeah.
My brain just takes M and runswith it and it's like Marvel,
the Marvel character universeand it's like not even close to
what you're telling me.
You're all Marvel characterenterprise.
Got it, love it.
Nailed it.
(09:21):
The fact that research hasproven.
That in over 50 years ofstudying this, that mindset
changes everything, that age isjust a number.
But that it is the story thatyou attach to that number that
determines your future becausetheir age didn't change.
Right.
They were all 56, 86, whateverthe various ages were.
So it's not our age that limitsus, but it's what we've been
(09:43):
conditioned to believe about ourage that limits us.
So same thing, like I'm in myforties and I'm like, oh no I
have internalized these beliefsthat by the time you're this
age, you should haveaccomplished so much more and
now it's too late to pivot and Igot over that fast y'all, and I
do still find moments where I'mlike, I catch myself questioning
(10:05):
it.
Sometimes I don't care enough,one might say but then I have
little moments where it's like,oh, maybe I missed the window
for this or maybe I missed thewindow for that For me
particularly like looking at theway that people attach their
self-worth to their rolessometimes it gets a little
ridiculous, build a bear bookfor milestones.
(10:27):
So we know age is a number, butit's the meaning we attach to
that number, as you've said,Andy, that defines what we think
we can do.
Half the time that meaning issomething that we've made up
based on information that wetook in from somewhere, whether
somebody said something to us.
Like, oh, you're supposed tomake sure you have an
established career by the timeyou're 30 and have your first
(10:50):
kid before you're 31, and makesure you have a 401k and a
Sephora skincare routine right?
Either somebody said it to us,we heard it from somewhere, we
saw it in pop culture, socialmedia, if you're in the wrong
algorithm stream, it couldprobably make you feel really
(11:10):
bad about yourself.
It's like, oh yeah, this is whatit looks like to be 40 and
thriving and it's like, lady,no.
It's not all roses and rainbowsall the time.
You know what's funny is likebeing somebody that edits a lot
of things, like videos.
Photos, podcasts, music, I havelearned to not believe a lot of
it because then you're justlike, I see all this stuff that
(11:32):
makes this seems so cool.
All the things that you cut out,all the retakes, all the tools,
ai, all the tools that Iutilize, the ai, the filters to
make your skin look flawlesswhile you're trying to sell me
something that you barely usedfor the first time.
Yes, okay, let's talk about AIfor a minute, because I do
think, ai and I'm gonna use theexample of like, looking up
(11:55):
skincare and makeup for agingskin.
Cause yes, I have aging skin andmy skin does not respond to
things in the same way anymore.
So I'm always like doingresearch, trying to find good,
clean, simple products thatactually work and don't cost a
million dollars.
But a lot of advertisements willuse like images of older women.
Even gray hair women but theirskin is flawless and I'm like,
(12:19):
no way.
There are very few people inthis world who look like that
naturally at that age and have afull white head of hair.
Yeah.
Because AI created these imagesand then it starts to make older
women feel more bad aboutthemselves and you start buying
more products.
It's intentional, I get it butit's a whole new level of stuff
(12:41):
that's being shoved in yourface, at any age now.
Maybe when we were younger wasmore like what you saw in
magazines or what you saw on TVshows but now it's like
everywhere in all that weconsume because we're on our
phones and our computers all thetime.
It's interesting becausesometimes you can tell, but now
it's gone so good.
And here's the thing, it's atool, so if you have a really
good editor, who knows how toedit live footage and knows how
(13:05):
to utilize these tools to makeit smooth and seamless, you're
not gonna be able to tell.
As someone who can literallymodify, I can take people
things, places, everything out,you would never tell, you would
never know.
I've showed our mom and she islike.
You're like a weapon, but it's'cause like there's an attention
(13:26):
to detail that you have to haveto be able to do those things
that the average person whodoesn't normally edit wouldn't
notice.
But now it's like in everybody'shands.
People presenting themselves aseveryday ordinary people because
they are, but they're using allthis technology and especially
AI right now'cause it can evenchange your voice and all this
stuff.
(13:46):
These are our voices.
This is how we sound.
Yeah.
Sorry.
If you ever talk to us in personthis what this is what you're
gonna get.
Yes, I agree with you and it'salso not just beauty
influencers.
It is just all of them.
I had one, she's a scientist.
She was like, just to becompletely transparent,'cause I
have a lot of young women thatare following me this is not the
beauty standard.
She took the filter off, shetook all her makeup off, she
(14:08):
showed what she really lookedlike.
She's still a very beautifulwoman but yeah, not flawless.
Completely different.
Like dark circles around theeyes, like imperfections, like
all the things, right.
As we as women see ourselveswhen we just have no makeup on,
it's a different experience thanthe very polished version that
we're seeing consistently 24/7.
Yeah, because marketing andcapitalism, I get that.
(14:32):
Yes but let's reframe, what ifgetting older isn't decline?
It's permission.
To finally live for yourself, tocreate, to explore, to reclaim
your timeline.
Yeah, and honestly.
I've done more meaningful thingsafter 40 than I ever did in my
twenties and my thirties.
I have been the most engaged,present, loving, kind person in
(15:00):
my forties, not only to peoplearound me, but to myself.
In ways that I never would'vedone at a younger age.
And I have opened myself up tojust the idea of like doing
things because I want to dothem, whether or not they fit in
some sort of success timeline orchecklist.
(15:21):
That's the way to do it but alsolike, I guess you kind of have
to have some kind of achecklist.
I mean, yeah a loose guide foryourself, but it should not be
what somebody else or somethingin society is subscribing to
you.
It should be something that youcreate on your own.
I have things that I'm like, ohyeah, I'd like to be able to do
(15:43):
X, Y, and Z, but I don't put atimeline on it.
I don't say, oh, if I don't dothis by the time I'm this age,
then I'm taking it off the listand I'm never doing it.
And a lot of people do that theyput timelines on things.
It's like, well, if I don'tachieve X, Y, and Z by the time
I'm 30, then forget it.
Yeah, I mean, sorry, everybody,but because we've lost so many
(16:04):
people in our lifetime.
Me and Andy particularly havelost a lot of people and when
you lose people, it changes theway you see life and also, we've
lost two very main characters inour family, which is our father
and our middle sister.
Mm-hmm.
And I didn't realize the impactof that until therapy and all
the good stuff but one of thethings is like death has always
(16:25):
been something that I think ofnot in a creepy way but like,
yeah, it's very prevalent in mymind, like that's gonna happen.
You have to be an activeparticipant in your life.
Yeah but you should not wasteyour time overtly subscribing to
the idealisms of the worldbecause when you live for
another person's outlook on youroutcome, you're not living.
(16:47):
Mm-hmm.
What beliefs about aging haveyou started to challenge in
yourself?
If I wanna do something, if Iwanna learn something, if I
wanna try something, if I wannatake a course in something, if I
wanna create something, I'm justgonna do it.
You're funny.
Once in a blue moon, I'll justall of a sudden be like, I'm
(17:09):
doing this wild thing.
This question to me is funnybecause now that I'm thinking
about it, I'm like, no, Andy hasalways kind of just done it.
Yeah.
Like you wanted to take aPilates class you like told no
one and you're like, I'm takingPilates.
Back when Pilates wasn't eventhat big of a deal.
Yeah.
It wasn't.
I didn't know, it wasn't as wellknown.
Yeah.
I was like, what are you talkingabout?
Karate?
(17:30):
You're like, Pilates.
You know actually that's one ofthe things that I think
sometimes back then.
If I would've had the money, itwas very expensive cause it was
not very widely known back thenin the way it is now to become a
Pilates instructor, I probablywould've done it.
'Cause you loved it.
Yeah, I still love it.
The training for it was reallyexpensive.
(17:50):
It was like a whole deal.
Well, that's interesting thatyou say that'cause I think
that's always been a part of mypersonality.
Yeah.
And it's probably too, because Ithink grief and loss has
impacted me maybe a littledifferently.
In that I haven't really thoughtabout it specifically in terms
of timeline but I have alwaysfelt like time's not promised.
(18:17):
So I'm just gonna do it, youknow?
And if it doesn't work out, ohwell I might be sad about it, I
might be mad about it, I mightnot even care.
And then I'm gonna just gonnakeep going.
Yeah.
But yeah, just challenging thosethings in myself.
I think I had to challengemyself more the closer I got to
40.
Now I'm past that, but once Istarted to get there, I, that's
(18:38):
the moment when I really feltthe pressure of aging.
And not just aging, but aging asa woman, the number of people.
People who I know that broughtup, I needed to dye my hair
because I was showing too manygrays, blew my mind because for
me, I was like no, I earnedthis.
(19:00):
Like this is all the stress,trauma, the shit that I've been
through, like I survive.
This is proof of my survival andthe skill that it took to get
here.
Knowing everything I had beenthrough but for other people and
especially women, I don't thinkthere was ever a man that
commented on my hair.
(19:20):
But women always, oh, are yougonna dye your hair soon?
Oh, when are you gonna dye yourhair?
Oh, you're starting to get somegrays.
You should dye your hair.
And it very much felt to melike, you need to mask up,
you're showing your age and youneed to hide it.
Because you're not gonna beaccepted and it's embarrassing
or shameful or whateverindividual people were feeling
(19:41):
about the fact that my age wasshowing.
And it, and the little rebel inme was like, screw that.
I'm gonna let all grow out.
And I did I just like totallywent batshit crazy, I was like,
I don't care.
Women aging is a whole differentball game.
Women aging is you get to 34, 35and they start saying, aren't
you so excited?
40 right around the corner likeyou don't even get to have 35,
(20:04):
36, 37, 38, 39, you're just 40in their eyes now.
You're crossing over to theother side at this point.
Like, did I die?
It's such a bizarre thing andthen one of the things that I
get a lot is like, you look soyoung for your age.
You get that too.
(20:24):
Thanks mom.
Our mom is aging like fine wine.
Yeah our mom's Caribbean skin.
Really?
We didn't get the pigment of it,but we definitely got the, like
youthfulness.
The bone structure and theyouthfulness.
It's interesting because that tome was always kind of an insult.
They would be like, oh, you lookso young, you don't even
understand.
(20:45):
And it's like, what do you mean?
Because I look younger, youthink that I'm more privileged
and in some respects it is true.
And that's really messed upbecause it shouldn't be that
way.
I think people should be allowedto be who they are.
Yeah.
Any age, any orientation, anysex, gender, whatever and they
should just be allowed to existand enjoy themselves.
(21:07):
Yeah but aging is, it's one ofthose things that like no matter
how far we feel we've come, it'sa huge stigma.
Ageism is alive and well, y'all,it is alive and well.
It's thriving girl.
Yes, especially for women.
And instead of becoming anempowering thing, it's become a
(21:30):
marketing tool.
Well, for American culture forsure.
Yeah.
Because I feel like there'sother cultures and civilizations
where aging is actually seen as,the older you get, the wiser you
are.
So the more respected you are.
There's a book it's called TheHeroine Journey and if anybody
wants to do like a deep diveinto this, it's a good read, but
(21:51):
it talks about the differentstages of life that women
usually go through.
And from our younger selves toour middle aged selves, to our
older selves.
And there was a journey that yougo to to become the Wise Crone.
Which the Crone it was arespected title, like, wow, you
made it, you got this far, andyou have so much wisdom to share
(22:14):
now with the people comingbehind you.
And somewhere along the line,that middle part got cut out.
So, like you were saying, youjust literally hit that nail on
the head right now of you wentfrom 35 to old crone.
But it wasn't even likerespected crone, it was just old
(22:34):
crone.
Yeah and it's only when I tellthem of my age'cause when I
mention, oh, I'm in, you know,my thirties, they're like, what?
What do you mean?
Then all of a sudden everythingchanges, which is really
interesting.
'Cause it's like,'cause thatmiddle part gets left out and
it's judged so harshly.
Yeah and then they're like,well, don't worry, you at least
look like you're 25.
I'm like, why would I beworried?
(22:55):
Yeah.
Why does it matter?
Some western societiesespecially those that emphasize
individualism, that's where theyreally, really have a hard time
with respecting people's agingprocess, I guess.
They tend to be more ageist.
But it's actually known still tothis day, Mediterranean, Latin
(23:15):
cultures, Southern Asiancultures, Middle Eastern
cultures, and African cultures,including indigenous people
believe their elders play avital role in preserving their
stories or timelines and theircommunity.
Yeah, I believe that but I dostill think even in those
cultures, there is this middlepiece that is forgotten.
It is you are the young youthfulone or you're the elder.
(23:38):
It's that old narrative thatpeople tell themselves cause in
the middle of your life, you'resupposed to be raising a family"
and that is like your only role,even if you are a parent now and
you're raising a family, you canbe multiple things, you're not
just one role.
And so I think that's where weneed like a revolution and then
the other part is, incapitalism, they project a lot
of their marketing to youth, tosubject people to certain ways
(24:03):
of thinking and it's veryproblematic.
We just saw that on the AmericanApparel"major fail" documentary,
because they're more susceptibleto purchasing.
But contradictory, they saymiddle-aged women should want to
look like these young women.
Don't show your age, you have topretend like you're not but no
(24:24):
bullshit.
And also a middle aged man is atthe peak of his success.
He's revered, he's starting tobecome a silver fox versus a
middle-aged woman justforgotten.
If you're not a mother andyou're only doing that and
nothing else, then do you evenexist?
You're a cat lady or you're adog mom.
(24:46):
At the beginning of this wholeepisode, we talked about how
when you start to age this iswhen you start to come back to
yourself.
This is when you start to reallyexpand and blossom and this is
the perfect time for you to donew things and try new things
and explore and expand becauseyou have life experience now and
(25:07):
you have wisdom that can comealong with you versus trying to
crouch yourself into, oh, let'suse the metaphor of"Trying to
stuff yourself into that tinyforever 21 dress that is no
longer 21." I love them eventhough they're gone forever.
They're gone forever.
Even, they knew it was notforever 21.
(25:28):
They're like for a while 21.
And when we buy into these likeinvisible age limits that we
start to internalize, cause it'sconstant messaging we then
sabotage ourselves.
A lot of times when you, tellyourself that you can only do X,
Y, and Z and you put like anexpiration date.
There shouldn't be an expirationdate if you truly believe in
(25:50):
yourself, because any personwho's lived through life there's
always a give and take.
Yeah.
It's that you're buying into allthe external noise and you don't
want to be judged for going offtimeline or you don't want
people to talk about you.
(26:11):
It's like, no.
Being an outlier, which I thinkmost of us are kind of meant to
be, in some way, shape, or form.
The stories we attach to our ageare usually inherited, not
chosen, but they can berewritten.
100%.
So let's talk about receiptsbecause you know, we love a good
list of badass people who poppedoff later in life.
(26:35):
We have a whole list of peoplehere and this list is probably
way longer, but we're only gonnatouch on a few that I think most
people will recognize.
Viola Davis love her, sheactually didn't get her breakout
role until her forties.
She's wonderful.
Amazing.
You know what this means, right?
We can go be movie stars.
(26:57):
Vera Wang, I did know about thisone she entered fashion at 40.
Before that she was a figureskater and a journalist.
So not only did she become hugeas a fashion designer.
I think she started with weddingdresses.
She had two other completelydifferent careers and then the
one that blew up and made herthe most money and the most
(27:19):
notoriety was fashion.
Julia Child didn't publish herfirst cookbook until she was 50.
Julia Child I love me A goodJulia Child recipe, lots of
butter.
Tony Morrison published herfirst novel at 39 and won the
Noble Peace Prize in hersixties.
Awesome.
(27:40):
Samuel L.
Jackson got his big break at 43.
Stan Lee created his first hitcomic at 39.
Oh my God.
And Spider-Man came even laterthan that.
So his first comic book thatbecame a hit, he was almost 40.
That's pretty cool.
And then I love that.
(28:01):
Lived this long life enough tosee like the whole Marvel
Universe play out in movies,which is pretty incredible.
Colonel Sanders started KFC inhis sixties.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Morgan Freeman that's anotherone.
I don't know if there's evergonna be another Morgan Freeman
'cause that voice is so iconicbut he didn't get his big acting
(28:22):
break until he was 50, in themovie driving, miss Daisy.
Morgan Freeman, tweeted andsaid, someday he will die.
And everyone in the comments waslike, I heard that in your
voice.
That felt too real.
If you're an oldie but goodieand you remember a little House
(28:42):
on the Prairie?
A TV show.
It was actually a book first andLauren Ingles Wilder published
that book at the age of 65 andit became a hit, and then became
a hit TV series.
Oh, one of my favorites PedroPascal became incredibly famous
after his thirties, I think itwas, because he was like in
(29:03):
stuff but he talks about likehaving to be really frugal.
Pedro Pascal put a time limit atone point he was like, I'm not
gonna act past the age of 29,like if I haven't made it but
now he's 50, now he's like.
At the peak of his career.
So many opportunities at hisdoorstep.
Lucille Ball became a householdname with I Love Lucy at the age
(29:25):
of 40.
And John Ham was casted in MadMen at 36 after years of being
rejected in Hollywood, which iscrazy'cause that was an iconic
role and Mad Men was huge.
Oprah is often listed, althoughI would say Oprah like built her
career for decades but shedidn't really hit that next
level status until after she was50.
(29:47):
Brian Cranston while he actedfor years got his start in
breaking bad at the age of 52.
Melissa McCarthy well, she actedas well she really gained her
peak fame in bridesmaids at theage of 41 after years in TV and
minor roles.
Or that one actress, that Ilove.
(30:08):
Michelle Yo she was 60 when shewon her Oscar, her first Oscar
nomination ever.
And she actually won.
She's incredible.
Amazing.
I mean, what are we learninghere?
We're learning that age isirrelevant when you are
dedicated to what you wanna do.
I think that's really what we'relearning more than anything.
(30:28):
Sometimes it is the right place,right time kind of thing.
Sometimes it is who you know andother times it's just that you
didn't give up.
That you didn't just give intothat little voice in your head,
whoever put it there, whateverput it there.
Of the narrative that you'retelling yourself that you are no
longer a viable option whetherit be a job, a dream career, a
(30:51):
family, a partner, any kind ofmajor checklist item.
The reality is that as long asyou believe in yourself, you're
capable of reaching it in thislifetime, more than likely.
So the next time someone says,aren't you too old for that?
Send them this list and blockthem with love.
Now is exactly the right timebecause I'm ready, because I
(31:15):
want it, because I'm gonna putmy heart into it because
whatever, fill in the blank.
Yeah.
Unless it's like when I wasyounger and I used to roll on
the ground and pretend I was alike parkour genius.
Obviously I wouldn't do that nowbecause I would break my hip,
but everything else is fairgame.
I mean, listen, this is my mottoin life.
(31:39):
You always have a choice andthat choice is yours.
Now, the consequences of eachchoice.
You also have to be aware ofthat, right?
If I choose to parkour in theparking lot at 45, that's on
you, boo.
I'm rolling that anklegirlfriend.
So what do we do with all ofthis?
(32:00):
We write our own damn narrativebecause aging is inevitable but
limitation is optional.
Instead of I'm too old, reframeit, now is a perfect time.
I've never been more ready.
I get better with every season.
Yes, I am more capable now, moreaware now, more honest now, more
(32:22):
in touch with who I am now, thanI was before so now I get to
approach this in an even betterversion of myself.
So you're not too old, you'renot too late, you're not behind.
This is all about how you wannalive your life and what you
decide you wanna do now and justdoing it.
(32:43):
And you always wanna account forthe fact that the person you are
when you're in your teenageyears and your twenties and
sometimes even in your thirties,they're all different versions.
And that means it comes with adifferent bag of wants and needs
and joys.
Allowing yourself the gift ofexploring those things is what
(33:04):
life is all about.
You wanna lean into exploringthese new likes and things that
excite you and things thatyou're inquisitive about.
And I think that's what thiswhole episode kind of
encompasses is like, it's nevertoo late for you to try to reach
a different goal, but also, likeAndy said earlier or just try
something new completely, evenif you don't like it.
(33:26):
Even if you end up saying, well,that was a total waste of time
but you gave it a shot.
Yeah'cause the outcome doesn'tmatter.
Like, I love doing things nowjust to learn something new.
And that feels fun and excitingfor me.
There's no real goal with itaside from that is like, I wanna
use my brain, I wanna keep ithealthy, I wanna keep it happy.
(33:48):
And the best way to do that isto train myself how to do new
things on a regular basis.
To keep challenging myself, andthat's enough.
And in that I get a lot of joyout of learning new things.
And purposeful aging throughmeaningful goals is associated
with longer life, better brainhealth, improved emotional
resilience and greater overalland greater overall
satisfaction.
(34:09):
So think about that next time.
You wanna tell yourself that youare not capable or interested or
willing in trying something youactually wanna do.
Well said.
So whether you're 26 or 66, thisis your invitation to stop
shrinking yourself based onsomeone else's expiration date.
Let's get one thing straight.
(34:30):
You are not too old, too late,too behind or expired because
you are not a carton of oat milksis, you are a whole miracle in
progress.
Exactly.
It's not your age, that's theproblem.
It's the meaning you've attachedto it, and usually that meaning,
someone else handed it to you.
Tag us with your"Too old towhat?" moments.
(34:52):
We wanna hear them.
Leave a review, share this withsomeone who needs it, and
remember.
You're just getting started.
Bye.
Bye.
Welcome back to Andy and Mitch,the podcast where two sisters,
two generations, and twoopinions come together to talk
about all the things.
Today we're diving into a topicthat hits everybody age, but not
just birthdays and back pain.
We're talking about mindset andthe lies we've been told about
what aging means.
Because over 50 years ofresearch says it, plain mindset
(00:24):
changes everything.
Your confidence, yourcreativity, and even your
biology.
So let's talk about rewritingthe story of age.
Grab your cafecito and let'sdive in.
We're talking about age andgetting older and wiser.
So lemme ask you this, when didyou first feel too old to do
(00:46):
something?
That's a tough question.
I think probably in my latetwenties, early thirties.
You start to notice it more whenpeople start making comments
like"oh, do you really wanna tryand change careers right now?
Or do you really wanna go backto school?
Do you really wanna wear thatcrop top?" Like aren't you a
(01:07):
little old to still be trying tofigure it out?
That's peak existential, bloomtime it's nobody's business.
I think the first time it wasreally impacting me was my last
work environment.
So many people were saying itabout themselves and implying it
when I would share stories ofwhat I was doing.
(01:29):
Like, oh, that's reallywonderful, I could never do
that, i'm just too old forthat." I'm looking at them,
looking at me and I'm like, Iknow you're judging me right
now.
You just told me you're judgingme.
I think that's when it startedkind of hitting me and I started
feeling like I'm becoming rigidwith my ideals and like how I am
seeing myself.
I'm starting to put the walls ofthe box up and then I freaked
(01:51):
out and I was like, I gotta getoutta here.
it's because like your soulknew.
That like, no, no, no, no thisis the wrong thing.
You're like suffocating us.
Yes.
In the process.
And also it's like too lateaccording to who, like where did
this construct even come from?
Because we've been conditionedto believe that there is some
sort of timeline on our lives.
(02:11):
And if we miss it, then we'vemissed out, and that's it.
And I don't think that's true.
Like I remember going to gradschool in my thirties and I had
taken like a big gap time offbetween school, because the
first part took me forever.
And then I became a new mom,started a new job, and then went
(02:34):
to grad school.
And so everybody, it had intheir mind what my timeline was
gonna be.
And then I changed it because Idecided.
Which was a huge, bold move.
That, oh, I'm actually not gonnapursue a career directly in what
I went to college for.
I'm gonna try this other thingthat came up still a very
(02:58):
respectable career path.
It was not a foreseen thing.
It just kind of came up as anopportunity.
And so I was very curious.
I'm like, okay, I'm gonna dothat instead.
Everybody flipped out, everybodyhad an opinion about like the
timeline of my life and how Iwas going off track.
Like, no, you're too old forthis.
You can't just change your mindnow.
Like you already went to gradschool, so you have to do the
(03:19):
thing that you said you weregonna do.
And for years, even now to thisday, and that's been like, 15
years since that happened,people will still have an
opinion of like, oh, you shouldjust go back and do the thing
that you said you were gonna doto begin with.
Because they can't deal with thefact that like I chose to do
something different, at adifferent age in my way that
(03:41):
didn't follow the script.
Yeah, you did it your way.
Culture pushes this PrerogativeMagazine, headlines, job
listings, TikTok trends.
You get to a certain point whereyou start to realize that all of
that is just bullshit.
It's all noise.
Because look at us, right?
(04:02):
Like you're a millennial.
I'm a young Gen Xer.
Thank you very much.
And we're like, oh, hey, let'sstart a podcast.
In the realm of like popculture, it'd be like, oh no
like that's a young people'sgame.
But why like, why does it haveto be a young people's game?
Right.
And if we buy into it, then wesuppress not only our lives and
(04:23):
our light but also opportunitiesfor ourselves.
We've talked about this in otherepisodes, when you're trying to
fit like other people'snarratives of what your life is
supposed to look like, you canlose yourself really easily.
Mm-hmm.
And it becomes incredibly hardto find your way back.
There's like this saying that'slike if you're going the wrong
direction, get off as soon asyou recognize it because if you
(04:45):
keep going that direction, ittakes one much longer to find
your way back.
And even now, like being in myforties, to some people they
hear that and it feels so old.
You know, and then for a momentI was like, oh yeah, like I'm in
my forties now.
Now I have to make differentdecisions and they have to be
like very carefully planned andthought out and long term.
(05:08):
I started to feel that pressureof, oh shoot, why haven't I done
all the things that I wassupposed to quote unquote do by
the time I got into my forties?
And also.
Looking ahead.
When you're, when you look aheadwith that mindset, you start to
think that the future islimited.
I started to catch myselffeeling like there's not gonna
(05:30):
be new job opportunities for me.
Or now, like if I wanna becurious about different career
paths, I can't do that becausenow it's too late and I pass the
window of opportunity.
Yeah.
Community.
And even for the best of us,like we get caught up in this
narrative that is completelyfalse.
And the research proves thisbecause what got me thinking
(05:52):
about this topic is I readsomething about, a study that
was done in the late seventiescalled the Counterclockwise
Study that literally showed thatwhen adults were immersed in an
environment.
From their youth, theyphysically improved their vision
improved.
Their posture improved.
Their memory improved.
(06:12):
They literally aged down.
Just solely based on believingthat they were still that
version of themselves.
And shifting how they sawthemselves and that's so
powerful because they didn't doanything else for this group
besides that.
Besides say, okay, you are now20 years younger.
(06:34):
And to help you believe thatwe're gonna put you in this
environment.
You're gonna dress how you usedto dress, you're gonna listen to
the music you, you used tolisten to.
You're gonna eat the foods,you're gonna talk about those
times, and then you're gonna goabout your day as if you are
that version of yourself and itchanged them completely.
That's wild.
That's why I look so young'causemy room hasn't changed since I
(06:56):
was in my twenties.
I mean, it's like new andimproved, but it's the same.
You know?
I also wonder now that you'resaying that like, you know how
like at a certain point in lifeand if you're listening, you
haven't gotten there yet, thenkudos to you but you stop
listening to new music and youonly listen to your music and
you only listen to your oldmusic.
(07:16):
And it's almost like there's apart of you that knows.
I mean, I listen to a lot of newmusic but it's because I'm
active in the music world.
But majority of the time whenyou're like, Hey, let me put
something on that's gonna makeme feel good.
Is it a new song or is it an oldsong?
It depends, like for me, you'regonna get a mixed bag.
So sometimes it's new, sometimesit's old and sometimes what I've
(07:37):
noticed now that I'm gettingolder is that I'm becoming more
open to genres than I was when Iwas younger.
I was a little bit more criticalwhen I was younger.
Yeah, when you were younger.
Wink, wink.
But I can see that a lot ofpeople would do that from a
psychological standpoint and noteven know that they were doing
(07:59):
it.
It's like almost like they'retime capsuling themselves.
And in the study they noticedresults in just one week.
This wasn't like six months, ayear, two years that they put
them in, it was one week.
That's like a vacation for mostpeople.
Like just in one vacation youcan change everything and what
(08:20):
was even more wild is that a lotof them actually looked visibly
younger.
Like because their mindsetchanged.
Their biology, their bodystarted to shift.
Change with it.
You know what I'm realizing asyou're saying this is like this
is a great opportunity forpeople who own Airbnbs.
(08:41):
They did time capsule Airbnbsthat people can rent.
Or VRBO'cause you know Airbnb.
Oh yeah.
V-R-B-O-I don't even, you know,when you said that, I was like,
what does virtual reality haveto do with this.
VRB?
Right Back, what?
This is how, you know, you startaging out'cause the acronyms
don't make any sense to youanymore.
(09:01):
But like, sometimes people sayacronyms and I'm like, yeah,
I'll just figure it out later.
Every time you say MCE?
Yeah.
My brain just takes M and runswith it and it's like Marvel,
the Marvel character universeand it's like not even close to
what you're telling me.
You're all Marvel characterenterprise.
Got it, love it.
Nailed it.
(09:21):
The fact that research hasproven.
That in over 50 years ofstudying this, that mindset
changes everything, that age isjust a number.
But that it is the story thatyou attach to that number that
determines your future becausetheir age didn't change.
Right.
They were all 56, 86, whateverthe various ages were.
So it's not our age that limitsus, but it's what we've been
(09:43):
conditioned to believe about ourage that limits us.
So same thing, like I'm in myforties and I'm like, oh no I
have internalized these beliefsthat by the time you're this
age, you should haveaccomplished so much more and
now it's too late to pivot and Igot over that fast y'all, and I
do still find moments where I'mlike, I catch myself questioning
(10:05):
it.
Sometimes I don't care enough,one might say but then I have
little moments where it's like,oh, maybe I missed the window
for this or maybe I missed thewindow for that For me
particularly like looking at theway that people attach their
self-worth to their rolessometimes it gets a little
ridiculous, build a bear bookfor milestones.
(10:27):
So we know age is a number, butit's the meaning we attach to
that number, as you've said,Andy, that defines what we think
we can do.
Half the time that meaning issomething that we've made up
based on information that wetook in from somewhere, whether
somebody said something to us.
Like, oh, you're supposed tomake sure you have an
established career by the timeyou're 30 and have your first
(10:50):
kid before you're 31, and makesure you have a 401k and a
Sephora skincare routine right?
Either somebody said it to us,we heard it from somewhere, we
saw it in pop culture, socialmedia, if you're in the wrong
algorithm stream, it couldprobably make you feel really
(11:10):
bad about yourself.
It's like, oh yeah, this is whatit looks like to be 40 and
thriving and it's like, lady,no.
It's not all roses and rainbowsall the time.
You know what's funny is likebeing somebody that edits a lot
of things, like videos.
Photos, podcasts, music, I havelearned to not believe a lot of
it because then you're justlike, I see all this stuff that
(11:32):
makes this seems so cool.
All the things that you cut out,all the retakes, all the tools,
ai, all the tools that Iutilize, the ai, the filters to
make your skin look flawlesswhile you're trying to sell me
something that you barely usedfor the first time.
Yes, okay, let's talk about AIfor a minute, because I do
think, ai and I'm gonna use theexample of like, looking up
(11:55):
skincare and makeup for agingskin.
Cause yes, I have aging skin andmy skin does not respond to
things in the same way anymore.
So I'm always like doingresearch, trying to find good,
clean, simple products thatactually work and don't cost a
million dollars.
But a lot of advertisements willuse like images of older women.
Even gray hair women but theirskin is flawless and I'm like,
(12:19):
no way.
There are very few people inthis world who look like that
naturally at that age and have afull white head of hair.
Yeah.
Because AI created these imagesand then it starts to make older
women feel more bad aboutthemselves and you start buying
more products.
It's intentional, I get it butit's a whole new level of stuff
(12:41):
that's being shoved in yourface, at any age now.
Maybe when we were younger wasmore like what you saw in
magazines or what you saw on TVshows but now it's like
everywhere in all that weconsume because we're on our
phones and our computers all thetime.
It's interesting becausesometimes you can tell, but now
it's gone so good.
And here's the thing, it's atool, so if you have a really
good editor, who knows how toedit live footage and knows how
(13:05):
to utilize these tools to makeit smooth and seamless, you're
not gonna be able to tell.
As someone who can literallymodify, I can take people
things, places, everything out,you would never tell, you would
never know.
I've showed our mom and she islike.
You're like a weapon, but it's'cause like there's an attention
(13:26):
to detail that you have to haveto be able to do those things
that the average person whodoesn't normally edit wouldn't
notice.
But now it's like in everybody'shands.
People presenting themselves aseveryday ordinary people because
they are, but they're using allthis technology and especially
AI right now'cause it can evenchange your voice and all this
stuff.
(13:46):
These are our voices.
This is how we sound.
Yeah.
Sorry.
If you ever talk to us in personthis what this is what you're
gonna get.
Yes, I agree with you and it'salso not just beauty
influencers.
It is just all of them.
I had one, she's a scientist.
She was like, just to becompletely transparent,'cause I
have a lot of young women thatare following me this is not the
beauty standard.
She took the filter off, shetook all her makeup off, she
(14:08):
showed what she really lookedlike.
She's still a very beautifulwoman but yeah, not flawless.
Completely different.
Like dark circles around theeyes, like imperfections, like
all the things, right.
As we as women see ourselveswhen we just have no makeup on,
it's a different experience thanthe very polished version that
we're seeing consistently 24/7.
Yeah, because marketing andcapitalism, I get that.
(14:32):
Yes but let's reframe, what ifgetting older isn't decline?
It's permission.
To finally live for yourself, tocreate, to explore, to reclaim
your timeline.
Yeah, and honestly.
I've done more meaningful thingsafter 40 than I ever did in my
twenties and my thirties.
I have been the most engaged,present, loving, kind person in
(15:00):
my forties, not only to peoplearound me, but to myself.
In ways that I never would'vedone at a younger age.
And I have opened myself up tojust the idea of like doing
things because I want to dothem, whether or not they fit in
some sort of success timeline orchecklist.
(15:21):
That's the way to do it but alsolike, I guess you kind of have
to have some kind of achecklist.
I mean, yeah a loose guide foryourself, but it should not be
what somebody else or somethingin society is subscribing to
you.
It should be something that youcreate on your own.
I have things that I'm like, ohyeah, I'd like to be able to do
(15:43):
X, Y, and Z, but I don't put atimeline on it.
I don't say, oh, if I don't dothis by the time I'm this age,
then I'm taking it off the listand I'm never doing it.
And a lot of people do that theyput timelines on things.
It's like, well, if I don'tachieve X, Y, and Z by the time
I'm 30, then forget it.
Yeah, I mean, sorry, everybody,but because we've lost so many
(16:04):
people in our lifetime.
Me and Andy particularly havelost a lot of people and when
you lose people, it changes theway you see life and also, we've
lost two very main characters inour family, which is our father
and our middle sister.
Mm-hmm.
And I didn't realize the impactof that until therapy and all
the good stuff but one of thethings is like death has always
(16:25):
been something that I think ofnot in a creepy way but like,
yeah, it's very prevalent in mymind, like that's gonna happen.
You have to be an activeparticipant in your life.
Yeah but you should not wasteyour time overtly subscribing to
the idealisms of the worldbecause when you live for
another person's outlook on youroutcome, you're not living.
(16:47):
Mm-hmm.
What beliefs about aging haveyou started to challenge in
yourself?
If I wanna do something, if Iwanna learn something, if I
wanna try something, if I wannatake a course in something, if I
wanna create something, I'm justgonna do it.
You're funny.
Once in a blue moon, I'll justall of a sudden be like, I'm
(17:09):
doing this wild thing.
This question to me is funnybecause now that I'm thinking
about it, I'm like, no, Andy hasalways kind of just done it.
Yeah.
Like you wanted to take aPilates class you like told no
one and you're like, I'm takingPilates.
Back when Pilates wasn't eventhat big of a deal.
Yeah.
It wasn't.
I didn't know, it wasn't as wellknown.
Yeah.
I was like, what are you talkingabout?
Karate?
(17:30):
You're like, Pilates.
You know actually that's one ofthe things that I think
sometimes back then.
If I would've had the money, itwas very expensive cause it was
not very widely known back thenin the way it is now to become a
Pilates instructor, I probablywould've done it.
'Cause you loved it.
Yeah, I still love it.
The training for it was reallyexpensive.
(17:50):
It was like a whole deal.
Well, that's interesting thatyou say that'cause I think
that's always been a part of mypersonality.
Yeah.
And it's probably too, because Ithink grief and loss has
impacted me maybe a littledifferently.
In that I haven't really thoughtabout it specifically in terms
of timeline but I have alwaysfelt like time's not promised.
(18:17):
So I'm just gonna do it, youknow?
And if it doesn't work out, ohwell I might be sad about it, I
might be mad about it, I mightnot even care.
And then I'm gonna just gonnakeep going.
Yeah.
But yeah, just challenging thosethings in myself.
I think I had to challengemyself more the closer I got to
40.
Now I'm past that, but once Istarted to get there, I, that's
(18:38):
the moment when I really feltthe pressure of aging.
And not just aging, but aging asa woman, the number of people.
People who I know that broughtup, I needed to dye my hair
because I was showing too manygrays, blew my mind because for
me, I was like no, I earnedthis.
(19:00):
Like this is all the stress,trauma, the shit that I've been
through, like I survive.
This is proof of my survival andthe skill that it took to get
here.
Knowing everything I had beenthrough but for other people and
especially women, I don't thinkthere was ever a man that
commented on my hair.
(19:20):
But women always, oh, are yougonna dye your hair soon?
Oh, when are you gonna dye yourhair?
Oh, you're starting to get somegrays.
You should dye your hair.
And it very much felt to melike, you need to mask up,
you're showing your age and youneed to hide it.
Because you're not gonna beaccepted and it's embarrassing
or shameful or whateverindividual people were feeling
(19:41):
about the fact that my age wasshowing.
And it, and the little rebel inme was like, screw that.
I'm gonna let all grow out.
And I did I just like totallywent batshit crazy, I was like,
I don't care.
Women aging is a whole differentball game.
Women aging is you get to 34, 35and they start saying, aren't
you so excited?
40 right around the corner likeyou don't even get to have 35,
(20:04):
36, 37, 38, 39, you're just 40in their eyes now.
You're crossing over to theother side at this point.
Like, did I die?
It's such a bizarre thing andthen one of the things that I
get a lot is like, you look soyoung for your age.
You get that too.
(20:24):
Thanks mom.
Our mom is aging like fine wine.
Yeah our mom's Caribbean skin.
Really?
We didn't get the pigment of it,but we definitely got the, like
youthfulness.
The bone structure and theyouthfulness.
It's interesting because that tome was always kind of an insult.
They would be like, oh, you lookso young, you don't even
understand.
(20:45):
And it's like, what do you mean?
Because I look younger, youthink that I'm more privileged
and in some respects it is true.
And that's really messed upbecause it shouldn't be that
way.
I think people should be allowedto be who they are.
Yeah.
Any age, any orientation, anysex, gender, whatever and they
should just be allowed to existand enjoy themselves.
(21:07):
Yeah but aging is, it's one ofthose things that like no matter
how far we feel we've come, it'sa huge stigma.
Ageism is alive and well, y'all,it is alive and well.
It's thriving girl.
Yes, especially for women.
And instead of becoming anempowering thing, it's become a
(21:30):
marketing tool.
Well, for American culture forsure.
Yeah.
Because I feel like there'sother cultures and civilizations
where aging is actually seen as,the older you get, the wiser you
are.
So the more respected you are.
There's a book it's called TheHeroine Journey and if anybody
wants to do like a deep diveinto this, it's a good read, but
(21:51):
it talks about the differentstages of life that women
usually go through.
And from our younger selves toour middle aged selves, to our
older selves.
And there was a journey that yougo to to become the Wise Crone.
Which the Crone it was arespected title, like, wow, you
made it, you got this far, andyou have so much wisdom to share
(22:14):
now with the people comingbehind you.
And somewhere along the line,that middle part got cut out.
So, like you were saying, youjust literally hit that nail on
the head right now of you wentfrom 35 to old crone.
But it wasn't even likerespected crone, it was just old
(22:34):
crone.
Yeah and it's only when I tellthem of my age'cause when I
mention, oh, I'm in, you know,my thirties, they're like, what?
What do you mean?
Then all of a sudden everythingchanges, which is really
interesting.
'Cause it's like,'cause thatmiddle part gets left out and
it's judged so harshly.
Yeah and then they're like,well, don't worry, you at least
look like you're 25.
I'm like, why would I beworried?
(22:55):
Yeah.
Why does it matter?
Some western societiesespecially those that emphasize
individualism, that's where theyreally, really have a hard time
with respecting people's agingprocess, I guess.
They tend to be more ageist.
But it's actually known still tothis day, Mediterranean, Latin
(23:15):
cultures, Southern Asiancultures, Middle Eastern
cultures, and African cultures,including indigenous people
believe their elders play avital role in preserving their
stories or timelines and theircommunity.
Yeah, I believe that but I dostill think even in those
cultures, there is this middlepiece that is forgotten.
It is you are the young youthfulone or you're the elder.
(23:38):
It's that old narrative thatpeople tell themselves cause in
the middle of your life, you'resupposed to be raising a family"
and that is like your only role,even if you are a parent now and
you're raising a family, you canbe multiple things, you're not
just one role.
And so I think that's where weneed like a revolution and then
the other part is, incapitalism, they project a lot
of their marketing to youth, tosubject people to certain ways
(24:03):
of thinking and it's veryproblematic.
We just saw that on the AmericanApparel"major fail" documentary,
because they're more susceptibleto purchasing.
But contradictory, they saymiddle-aged women should want to
look like these young women.
Don't show your age, you have topretend like you're not but no
(24:24):
bullshit.
And also a middle aged man is atthe peak of his success.
He's revered, he's starting tobecome a silver fox versus a
middle-aged woman justforgotten.
If you're not a mother andyou're only doing that and
nothing else, then do you evenexist?
You're a cat lady or you're adog mom.
(24:46):
At the beginning of this wholeepisode, we talked about how
when you start to age this iswhen you start to come back to
yourself.
This is when you start to reallyexpand and blossom and this is
the perfect time for you to donew things and try new things
and explore and expand becauseyou have life experience now and
(25:07):
you have wisdom that can comealong with you versus trying to
crouch yourself into, oh, let'suse the metaphor of"Trying to
stuff yourself into that tinyforever 21 dress that is no
longer 21." I love them eventhough they're gone forever.
They're gone forever.
Even, they knew it was notforever 21.
(25:28):
They're like for a while 21.
And when we buy into these likeinvisible age limits that we
start to internalize, cause it'sconstant messaging we then
sabotage ourselves.
A lot of times when you, tellyourself that you can only do X,
Y, and Z and you put like anexpiration date.
There shouldn't be an expirationdate if you truly believe in
(25:50):
yourself, because any personwho's lived through life there's
always a give and take.
Yeah.
It's that you're buying into allthe external noise and you don't
want to be judged for going offtimeline or you don't want
people to talk about you.
(26:11):
It's like, no.
Being an outlier, which I thinkmost of us are kind of meant to
be, in some way, shape, or form.
The stories we attach to our ageare usually inherited, not
chosen, but they can berewritten.
100%.
So let's talk about receiptsbecause you know, we love a good
list of badass people who poppedoff later in life.
(26:35):
We have a whole list of peoplehere and this list is probably
way longer, but we're only gonnatouch on a few that I think most
people will recognize.
Viola Davis love her, sheactually didn't get her breakout
role until her forties.
She's wonderful.
Amazing.
You know what this means, right?
We can go be movie stars.
(26:57):
Vera Wang, I did know about thisone she entered fashion at 40.
Before that she was a figureskater and a journalist.
So not only did she become hugeas a fashion designer.
I think she started with weddingdresses.
She had two other completelydifferent careers and then the
one that blew up and made herthe most money and the most
(27:19):
notoriety was fashion.
Julia Child didn't publish herfirst cookbook until she was 50.
Julia Child I love me A goodJulia Child recipe, lots of
butter.
Tony Morrison published herfirst novel at 39 and won the
Noble Peace Prize in hersixties.
Awesome.
(27:40):
Samuel L.
Jackson got his big break at 43.
Stan Lee created his first hitcomic at 39.
Oh my God.
And Spider-Man came even laterthan that.
So his first comic book thatbecame a hit, he was almost 40.
That's pretty cool.
And then I love that.
(28:01):
Lived this long life enough tosee like the whole Marvel
Universe play out in movies,which is pretty incredible.
Colonel Sanders started KFC inhis sixties.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Morgan Freeman that's anotherone.
I don't know if there's evergonna be another Morgan Freeman
'cause that voice is so iconicbut he didn't get his big acting
(28:22):
break until he was 50, in themovie driving, miss Daisy.
Morgan Freeman, tweeted andsaid, someday he will die.
And everyone in the comments waslike, I heard that in your
voice.
That felt too real.
If you're an oldie but goodieand you remember a little House
(28:42):
on the Prairie?
A TV show.
It was actually a book first andLauren Ingles Wilder published
that book at the age of 65 andit became a hit, and then became
a hit TV series.
Oh, one of my favorites PedroPascal became incredibly famous
after his thirties, I think itwas, because he was like in
(29:03):
stuff but he talks about likehaving to be really frugal.
Pedro Pascal put a time limit atone point he was like, I'm not
gonna act past the age of 29,like if I haven't made it but
now he's 50, now he's like.
At the peak of his career.
So many opportunities at hisdoorstep.
Lucille Ball became a householdname with I Love Lucy at the age
(29:25):
of 40.
And John Ham was casted in MadMen at 36 after years of being
rejected in Hollywood, which iscrazy'cause that was an iconic
role and Mad Men was huge.
Oprah is often listed, althoughI would say Oprah like built her
career for decades but shedidn't really hit that next
level status until after she was50.
(29:47):
Brian Cranston while he actedfor years got his start in
breaking bad at the age of 52.
Melissa McCarthy well, she actedas well she really gained her
peak fame in bridesmaids at theage of 41 after years in TV and
minor roles.
Or that one actress, that Ilove.
(30:08):
Michelle Yo she was 60 when shewon her Oscar, her first Oscar
nomination ever.
And she actually won.
She's incredible.
Amazing.
I mean, what are we learninghere?
We're learning that age isirrelevant when you are
dedicated to what you wanna do.
I think that's really what we'relearning more than anything.
(30:28):
Sometimes it is the right place,right time kind of thing.
Sometimes it is who you know andother times it's just that you
didn't give up.
That you didn't just give intothat little voice in your head,
whoever put it there, whateverput it there.
Of the narrative that you'retelling yourself that you are no
longer a viable option whetherit be a job, a dream career, a
(30:51):
family, a partner, any kind ofmajor checklist item.
The reality is that as long asyou believe in yourself, you're
capable of reaching it in thislifetime, more than likely.
So the next time someone says,aren't you too old for that?
Send them this list and blockthem with love.
Now is exactly the right timebecause I'm ready, because I
(31:15):
want it, because I'm gonna putmy heart into it because
whatever, fill in the blank.
Yeah.
Unless it's like when I wasyounger and I used to roll on
the ground and pretend I was alike parkour genius.
Obviously I wouldn't do that nowbecause I would break my hip,
but everything else is fairgame.
I mean, listen, this is my mottoin life.
(31:39):
You always have a choice andthat choice is yours.
Now, the consequences of eachchoice.
You also have to be aware ofthat, right?
If I choose to parkour in theparking lot at 45, that's on
you, boo.
I'm rolling that anklegirlfriend.
So what do we do with all ofthis?
(32:00):
We write our own damn narrativebecause aging is inevitable but
limitation is optional.
Instead of I'm too old, reframeit, now is a perfect time.
I've never been more ready.
I get better with every season.
Yes, I am more capable now, moreaware now, more honest now, more
(32:22):
in touch with who I am now, thanI was before so now I get to
approach this in an even betterversion of myself.
So you're not too old, you'renot too late, you're not behind.
This is all about how you wannalive your life and what you
decide you wanna do now and justdoing it.
(32:43):
And you always wanna account forthe fact that the person you are
when you're in your teenageyears and your twenties and
sometimes even in your thirties,they're all different versions.
And that means it comes with adifferent bag of wants and needs
and joys.
Allowing yourself the gift ofexploring those things is what
(33:04):
life is all about.
You wanna lean into exploringthese new likes and things that
excite you and things thatyou're inquisitive about.
And I think that's what thiswhole episode kind of
encompasses is like, it's nevertoo late for you to try to reach
a different goal, but also, likeAndy said earlier or just try
something new completely, evenif you don't like it.
(33:26):
Even if you end up saying, well,that was a total waste of time
but you gave it a shot.
Yeah'cause the outcome doesn'tmatter.
Like, I love doing things nowjust to learn something new.
And that feels fun and excitingfor me.
There's no real goal with itaside from that is like, I wanna
use my brain, I wanna keep ithealthy, I wanna keep it happy.
(33:48):
And the best way to do that isto train myself how to do new
things on a regular basis.
To keep challenging myself, andthat's enough.
And in that I get a lot of joyout of learning new things.
And purposeful aging throughmeaningful goals is associated
with longer life, better brainhealth, improved emotional
resilience and greater overalland greater overall
satisfaction.
(34:09):
So think about that next time.
You wanna tell yourself that youare not capable or interested or
willing in trying something youactually wanna do.
Well said.
So whether you're 26 or 66, thisis your invitation to stop
shrinking yourself based onsomeone else's expiration date.
Let's get one thing straight.
(34:30):
You are not too old, too late,too behind or expired because
you are not a carton of oat milksis, you are a whole miracle in
progress.
Exactly.
It's not your age, that's theproblem.
It's the meaning you've attachedto it, and usually that meaning,
someone else handed it to you.
Tag us with your"Too old towhat?" moments.
(34:52):
We wanna hear them.
Leave a review, share this withsomeone who needs it, and
remember.
You're just getting started.
Bye.
Bye.
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