November 17, 2025 • 40 mins
This week on The Charmed Life Project, we’re diving into one of the most transformative conversations we’ve ever had on the podcast — the energetic dynamics that shape our relationships, why attraction thrives on polarity, and how to bring harmony back to partnerships that feel disconnected or imbalanced.
But first, as always, Gina brings you a powerful energy update for the week ahead — and let’s just say… it’s a big one.
We’re talking:
🌿 Relationships & Values
💸 Security, Money & Routine Shifts
🌙 Dreams Becoming Structure
⚡ Unexpected Wake-Up Calls
🌍 Why Grounding Is Absolutely Essential Right Now
✨ THEN… We Dive Into the Heart of Today’s Episode:
A couple episodes ago, we explored the Law of Gender, the inner balance of masculine and feminine energies we all hold.
But today?
We take that concept deeper — into real relationships.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
💛 Why relationships thrive when one partner leads with the masculine and the other with the feminine
💛 Why too much sameness kills attraction
💛 How polarity creates chemistry, connection, and emotional safety
💛 What healthy masculine and healthy feminine energy actually look like in real life
💛 The communication patterns that predict divorce with 97.5% accuracy (yes, really!)
💛 Why women need adoration and men need admiration — and how this changes everything
💛 How to talk to your partner without triggering defensiveness
💛 What to do when the feminine turns into the “nagging wife” and the masculine shuts down
💛 How modern couples navigate polarity when both people work, hustle, and lead
We also open up our personal lives in ways we haven’t before — from the systems Kim uses to avoid becoming the nagging wife, to how Gina and her fiancé stay connected during conflict, to the tiny language shifts that instantly change the energy in a disagreement.
💘 Dating? We’ve got you too.
If you’re single, don’t worry — we dedicated a whole segment to:
- Why planning every date is over-masculine energy
- What to do if you’re constantly initiating
- How to tell instantly if someone is not your person
- Why you should never, ever chase masculine energy
Plus, a classic book recommendation that changed both of our dating lives.
✨ This episode will challenge you, inspire you, and give you tools you can use TODAY.
Whether you’re married, dating, healing, or calling in love — this one goes deep.
If you’ve ever wondered:
Why does communication feel so hard? Why does attraction fade? Why do we repeat the same arguments? Why does one tiny shift in energy change everything?
…this episode is the roadmap.
Tune in to learn how to create a relationship where:
💛 The masculine says “I’ve got you.”
💛 The feminine says “I trust you.”
💛 And together, the energy becomes magnetic.
Hit play — your relationship (and your inner balance) will thank you.
Find Gina here:
Book the Best Psychic Medium in Louisville - Gina Scarpino | Spiritual Readings & Coaching
Find Kim here:
Buy F Words for Your Soul here:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (01:46):
Hi guys.
I'm Gina Scapino, psychic,medium and spiritual life coach.
Here is your energy update forthe week ahead.
We have some big themes.
We have relationships andvalues, security and resources,
dreams into structure.
Unexpected wake-ups andgrounding is paramount.
As we look at all of these.
(02:08):
Themes that are coming into theweek, you can see that it's a
hefty week.
It's hefty.
It got a lot going on.
So with relationships andvalues, I want you to think
about, are my relationshipsaligned with what I deeply
value?
Am I honoring my worth?
Am I building something thatlasts rather than chasing
(02:30):
novelty?
With security and resourcesawakening a new awakening around
what makes you feel safe, andthis has to do with money, home
body routines, some shift couldhappen, an insight, a decision,
maybe even something external.
Prompting this change.
(02:50):
And then when we look at dreamsinto structure, things you've
been reflecting on or postponingcould now start to move.
Hallelujah.
I've been waiting for this.
This is a good week to getpractical about your vision and
what is your next step?
So let's talk about unexpectedwake up calls, shall we?
(03:10):
Because something that youthought was super solid might
show some cracks.
This is actually an opportunitythat's going to appear out of
the blue.
Now, your mantra for this isflexibility is key.
So if you come across somethingthat you thought was super solid
and you're starting to see thecracks, or your rose colored
glasses are coming off.
(03:31):
Be flexible.
This is here to help you and toguide you.
Do not run away.
All right?
And with grounding, because ofall of these shifts, your body,
your routines, your self care,sleep, nourishment.
All of that matter, way moreright now.
The energies will feel strongerif your foundation is super
(03:54):
shaky.
So ground yourself, be present,and really, really take care of
yourself.
So here's your mantra.
I release the noise and returnto my center.
My choices are guided, my timingis divine.
What's meant for me will find mebecause I am finally still
enough to receive it.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the Charmed LifeProject.
A couple episodes back, weexplored the law of gender, and
we talked all about theimportance of balancing both the
masculine and feminine energieswithin ourselves.
Because to live a truly alignedlife, we need both the structure
and direction of the masculineand the flow and intuition of
the feminine.
(04:37):
But today we're going to take itone step further.
Into the realm of relationshipswhere that inner balance shifts
into a shared balance, a dancebetween two souls, while each
person holds both energieswithin them, harmony in a
partnership happens when oneleads primarily with the
masculine and the other with thefeminine.
(04:58):
It's that polarity, the contrastbetween energies that creates
attraction, chemistry, andemotional flow.
It's what fosters that magnetictension that keeps things alive
and vibrant between two people.
Without it, relationships canstart to feel flat or
disconnected because here's thetruth.
Too much sameness killsattraction.
(05:20):
When two people are both sittingin masculine energy, you'll see
a lot of power struggles,constant clashing competition
and the need to controloutcomes.
And when both are too much intheir feminine, it can feel
confusing.
There's indecision, lack ofdirection, and no one really
leading the way forward.
But when one partner is groundedin their healthy masculine, the
(05:43):
energy of presence.
Safety direction and structure,and the other is open in their
feminine.
The flowing, nurturing,inspiring, and expressive
energy.
That's where the magic happens.
The masculine creates thestructure and the feminine fills
that structure with life andsoftness.
Each energy brings out the bestin the other.
(06:05):
That's when chemistry feelseffortless.
Communication fill deeper, andboth people feel seen and
appreciated for who they are.
So today we're diving into howto cultivate that balance, not
just within ourselves as we didon the Law of Gender episode,
but between two people.
We're going to tell you how toactually create that energetic
harmony since it is thefoundation for deep lasting
(06:27):
love.
Now, Gina has a lot ofexperience coaching her clients
through these concepts, so I'mreally going to lean into her
wisdom for this one.
And while I'm not a relationshipcoach myself, I've done some
research of my own, which hasled to some insights that I'm
excited to share as well.
So Gina, maybe you could startby telling us what the healthy,
masculine and healthy femininerelationships look like.
(06:51):
I think we could all benefitfrom hearing some real world
examples of what this looks likewhen two partners are leading
with their natural energies.
Speaker (07:00):
Today we're diving into what it feels like when the
energies between two people stopcompeting and start co-creating.
I'm gonna first talk about whatit's like when it's in balance,
and then, we're gonna get intothe thick of it and talk about
when it's not in balance.
So understanding the balance, ahealthy, energetic relationship
isn't about gender, it's aboutpolarity.
(07:22):
The divine masculine holds thecontainer.
Presence, direction, structureand safety.
The divine feminine flows withinthe container.
Intuition, creativity, emotion,sensuality.
When balanced, one doesn'toverpower the other.
The masculine says, I've gotyou.
And the feminine says, I trustyou.
(07:44):
And together that createsenergetic union.
So what it feels like in reallife examples.
There's emotional safety.
You can express your feelingswithout fear of being dismissed.
This is a huge one.
There's direction and flow.
One partner may take the leadwith grounded vision while the
(08:04):
other brings depth, color, andheart.
There's respect of polarity.
If one is in chaos, the otheranchors.
If one is overdoing the othersoftens.
It's not 50 50 every day.
It's an intuitive dance, justlike Kim said, where the energy
shifts depending on what'sneeded.
(08:25):
So if she's spiraling inemotion, he doesn't try to fix
her, and he stays present.
He's lost in overthinking.
She doesn't criticize.
She reminds him to feel that'sbalance in motion.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
There is a way to maintain that positive balance,
and it really comes down to twothings Women need adoration and
men need admiration.
I found this over and over againas I was doing my research.
So men need admiration.
They need to feel trusted,respected, and appreciated for
(09:01):
what they do.
The quickest way to a man'sheart isn't through.
Cooking or sex.
Contrary to popular belief, it'sthrough praise.
So instead of only offering lovethrough caretaking, which is
what a lot of women do to showtheir love.
Mm-hmm.
If you really want him to feelyour love, you have to verbalize
(09:22):
your appreciation for both hiseffort and his presence.
This is how you really.
Speak directly to his core.
Saying things like, I love howyou took care of that.
You're amazing at your job.
I know I can trust you.
And then on the flip side, thefeminine thrives when she feels
seen and cherished.
She doesn't want to be loved forwhat she does.
(09:44):
She wants to be loved for whoshe is.
And the quickest way to awoman's heart is not about
complimenting her performance,it's about seeing the beauty in
her essence.
I love hearing what's on yourmind.
You make this house feel alive.
You light up the room.
You're stunning when you'repassionate about something.
When a woman feels adored, shesoftens.
(10:06):
She becomes more expressive,creative, nurturing, radiant.
All of those feminine qualitiesreally are magnetized, but
without adoration, she startsfeeling unseen or like she has
to earn love, which pushes herback into doing, into her mass.
Skill.
So just remembering that menwant to do, women want to be,
(10:30):
men want to feel appreciated forwhat they do.
Women want to feel appreciatedsimply for being.
And you know, of course that'sback to that men are from Mars,
women are from Venus, right?
Yeah.
Of course we need and want tototally different things.
But my question for you is howdo we manage this in today's
(10:50):
time?
Because.
To me, this sounds like typicalgender roles, but mm-hmm.
We have moved away from that somuch as a society.
I mean, if you are a mother, ifyou have kids and you also have
a job, odds are you are doing alot.
Some women may feel like they'redoing more than their husband.
(11:12):
Okay?
Mm-hmm.
And obviously this dynamic andthis mindset is going to bring
out the worst in both because.
The woman is not going to bepraising the man for what he's
doing when she feels like she'sdoing more, and the man is not
going to be admiring the womanbecause.
Let's face it, her light isreally dim when she's doing so
(11:32):
much, and when that loop breaksdown, when she stops showing
appreciation and he stopsoffering adoration, everything
starts to close off.
So how can we balance this in areal life way when this dynamic
is at play in so manyrelationships?
Speaker (11:50):
Okay, so first I also have to add this in for some of
our listeners when we're talkingabout male and female
relationships, or the masculinerole and the feminine role, it
is not just with him and her.
Yes.
Pronouns.
So when we're talking aboutthis, and you can just plug this
(12:11):
in when we're talking aboutthis, when we're talking about
the masculine role.
In the feminine role that can bewith any gender or any
identification.
Mm-hmm.
And you will know who's themasculine role and who's the
morph.
Feminine role.
It doesn't matter who you are,there's always one in the
relationship hands down.
(12:32):
So you decipher which one iswhich.
But to manage this or balancethis in today's society, it
really does have to be a dancebetween the two people.
Like in my situation, my fianceNick, he has a full-time job.
He's super crazy masculine,which I love, but also I'm an
(12:53):
entrepreneur and a businessowner myself, so I'm in my
masculine a ton.
But if you were to see me, you'dbe like, oh my God, she's so
feminine.
Right?
But I have to really work onkeeping my.
Masculine balanced with myfeminine because of what I do
for a living on a daily basis.
(13:13):
Mm-hmm.
And so in thinking about theseroles, what you really have to
focus is on your two tips thatyou just gave us.
And that's how you really manageit.
If the feminine entity isfeeling like they're doing too
much in their relationship, thenthey have to use their masculine
energy to voice it.
(13:34):
Mm-hmm.
And say, Hey, this is what'sgoing on.
So this is what it can look likewith the unhealthy dynamic.
So when energies are distorted,the wounded masculine controls
criticizes or withdraws, I takefull ownership that I can get
(13:55):
into my masculine and try tocontrol and criticize, and I do
withdraw like a hundred percent.
Mm-hmm.
I go super introverted.
The wounded feminine manipulatesovergive play small.
You'll feel power strugglesshut, downs, and emotional
exhaustion.
Instead of polarity, you willget polarity flipping.
(14:17):
The energy's constantly fightingfor dominance.
So healing begins when bothpeople learn to self-regulate
their own polarity beforebringing it into a relationship.
And you guys, that is so key tounderstanding yourself, learning
to balance the feminine and themasculine.
(14:38):
For all the people out therethat get all of their
information on TikTok, wipe itall clean.
This is the one thing that youneed to focus on.
Masculine heals throughintegrity and stillness.
And feminine heels throughexpression and surrender.
I'm gonna say that one moretime.
Masculine heal through integrityand stillness and feminine heels
(15:01):
through expression andsurrender.
And here's the thing.
As a woman, I've had to healboth my masculine and my
feminine.
And so when you're an intuitiveperson, you're more than likely
not gonna be wounded in just oneside or the other.
There's gonna be wounds in both.
So dive into both and balanceboth.
(15:24):
So on communication andrelationships, we're gonna dive
super deep into this becausewhen you are in a relationship,
the balance of masculine andfeminine for me is so tough
because I feel every singleshift of slight energy and it
(15:45):
perks me up and I'm like.
Okay, where do I have to berebalance?
I'm constantly rebalancing,constantly looking at my
relationship and evaluating do Ineed to bring more feminine?
Do I need to bring moremasculine?
Okay, so if a disagreementhappens, one partner shuts down
(16:05):
and the other spiralsemotionally too much masculine,
shuts down vulnerability.
Too much feminine floods thespace with emotion.
How many people have experiencedthis so many times?
Right?
So when it's balanced, oneperson grounds the space.
Let's take a breath.
I'm listening while the otheropens up emotionally.
(16:28):
Here's what I'm feeling.
I'm not blaming that Sacredpolarity and action structure
and softness in working togetherand.
As I'm thinking about this, I'malso thinking about the
Gottman's because they are theworld's relationship experts.
(16:49):
I've read a couple of theirbooks.
I love how they teach.
I actually have two more oftheir books in my cart right now
because as Nicholas and I aregetting ready to get married and
focus on our relationship.
We really want to make sure ourbond is strong.
And they really teach us a lotof great principles.
(17:10):
And Kim, I know you love theGottman's too, don't you?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I actually had never heard of them.
Um, so it's ing No way.
I know I sent my notes to youand I said that I was gonna
bring'em up because you hadmentioned it on the Law of
Gender episode and I had neverheard of them.
But of course once I started,researching relationships and
the balance of energies and allof that, they came up.
Mm-hmm.
Over and over and over again.
Oh yeah.
Um, but I will say like one ofthe biggest.
(17:36):
Things that I kept seeing and itjust makes so much sense.
Was they call it the fourhorsemen of the apocalypse?
Mm-hmm.
Which is basically theirresearch that shows that they
can predict divorce with 97.5%accuracy.
97.5% accuracy.
They can determine just fromtalking to a couple if they're
(17:59):
going to get divorced or not.
And it's based, oh my God.
On, yeah, so, so everybodylisten up.
We all need to hear this.
It's based on four communicationpatterns in marriage, and those
four are criticism.
Stonewalling contempt anddefensiveness.
And if you really break thosedown, this is what I found so
(18:20):
interesting.
They are the opposite ofadoration and admiration.
So if you look at ah, yeah, ifyou look at criticism, which we
know of course is most common infemales.
This is the opposite ofadmiration, If you're critiquing
someone, you are certainly notadmiring them, right?
Speaker (18:42):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
And then stonewalling, which is,
withdraw, you're not even in theargument.
You're just totally ignoring theother person.
And this is most common in men.
And of course, what's theopposite of adoring something?
Totally ignoring it, right?
And then we have contempt, whichis superiority.
You know, I'm better than youkind of communication.
(19:05):
Mm-hmm.
And obviously if you're feelingyou like you're superior to
someone, you're definitely notadmiring or adoring them.
And then defensiveness, which.
I wanna talk about this one alittle bit more because this was
also something that kept comingup in the masculine feminine
conversation aroundrelationships.
Mm-hmm.
Um, you know, one of the keyingredients in a healthy balance
(19:29):
is that the feminine expresseswithout blaming.
And this is key because thefeminine is expressive, that
energy is expressive.
She needs to express and.
She needs to feel emotionallysafe to do so, but she has to
find a way to do it without itcoming across as blame.
(19:52):
The masculine needs to be ableto listen without needing to
fix, which is hard because theywant to do right?
Mm-hmm.
But you can't do something maybeabout something that's already
happened.
Right.
You can't go back and fix it.
And that's where theirfrustration comes in because
they can't do anything.
Mm-hmm.
(20:12):
And this is of course, wheremost men become defensive.
They take it as a personalattack, they shut down.
And their defensiveness thentriggers the woman back into
their masculine to either fixthe disconnect or, you know,
fight it out.
Yeah.
But.
(20:33):
It's really, the femininewanting to share her feelings
and to be heard.
They don't want the man to doanything in this case.
They just want them to hearthem, to see them.
So I think this is obviouslywhere a lot of relationships go
off track, and it's probably themajority of what, they talk
about in therapy and counseling,how to talk to each other
(20:55):
without getting defensive,without blaming.
And we see this a lot.
I mean, there's that naggingwife persona, like we see that
all the time where men feel likethey're constantly being
micromanaged, constantly beingmm-hmm.
Critiqued.
But of course, what's reallyneeded in these moments is the
feminine.
To be emotionally open and leadwith expression saying, I feel,
(21:18):
and the masculine respondingjust with presence.
I hear you.
What do you need from me rightnow?
Yeah, and the answer to that istypically nothing.
Just listen, just hear me.
Just see me appreciate what Ihave to say.
Speaker (21:32):
That is such a classic scenario of the nagging
feminine.
Mm-hmm.
The nagging feminine gets tothat point because the masculine
goes to feminine.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
So, riddle me this, so thenagging feminine happens because
the masculine has gone into thefeminine and has stopped taking
(21:56):
divine action, has stoppedgiving that attention, has
stopped giving that admiration,and stop giving all of that
energy towards the feminine.
So then the feminine goes intomasculine and is like, hello.
I'm still here.
Take care of me.
Pay attention to me.
And that is such a classicscenario of the woman's
(22:20):
complaining that, or thefeminines complaining that the
masculine isn't doing enough andthe masculine is like, just
leave me alone.
And it's this secular thing thatyou really have to pay attention
to and also choose the rightpartner that wants to keep the
balance with you.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's funny because, even in, like the damsel and
distress archetype Yeah.
There's something to thatbecause.
It's not about being weak, butit is about allowing a man to
feel needed, like when he getsto step up and save the day,
(23:02):
what's really happeningunderneath is that he's feeling
respected and effective.
And so a lot of times in thosesituations, if you can come at
it from that perspective of.
I feel this way and this,however something is affecting
you, and giving him theopportunity then to come in and
(23:23):
save the day as well.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Instead of just, you do this,you do that, it's really a
language change and it changeseverything.
Speaker (23:33):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Because if you look at ascenario of, say, a
disagreement.
Between the feminine, and themasculine, you all are having a
disagreement.
Instead of voicing yourfeelings, you say, oh my God, I
can't believe you did that.
That makes me feel sodisrespected.
(23:56):
That sounds kind of like whatyou should do, but not at all
whatsoever.
Mm-hmm.
Instead say, and this issomething that Nicholas and I
try to practice often ishandholding through conflict.
And I admit I'm not the bestabout this.
He helps me tremendously.
(24:17):
'cause I'm like, ah.
So we try to.
When we have a disagreement orhave a discussion through
conflict, we try to sit down andhold hands so that we stay
connected because I have atendency of it's me against you.
Like I automatically go to thatplace.
But if we sit down and we holdhands, and instead of saying,
(24:40):
you did this and it made me feelthis way.
Instead say, Hey honey, I'mfeeling really scared right now.
I'm feeling lonely and I'mfeeling like I need some
reassurance from you that'sgonna land a lot different than,
oh my God, you did this thingand I feel lonely.
(25:03):
I feel effed up like I'm insidemy head.
Like, that's a completelydifferent energy than going into
your heart center and actuallysharing how you're feeling.
Instead of saying, this thingmade me feel this way.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, absolutely.
You
Speaker (25:18):
can voice that later on in discussion, but at first it
has to be really from that heartspace.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah.
And there's something to thatabout the way you open an
argument or a disagreement or aconversation is gonna set the
tone for it.
So I think, a lot of times wehave a tendency, or the feminine
has a tendency to, in themoment.
Go off on whatever is in hermind and whatever she's
thinking, but really taking abreath and thinking to yourself,
(25:48):
okay, when is the best time toapproach this?
Maybe it's not, right after hegets home from work, you know,
maybe it's not, Certain timeswhen you know that he's more
stressed out or not very open.
When is the best time to talkabout this?
And also, how can I open thiswhat's that first sentence going
to be outta my mouth that I canopen this in a way that he will
(26:10):
be receptive to hear it, asopposed to just closing down
right off the bat.
I also have problems with that,but I've, you know, I've, I've
realized it over, however manyyears of marriage that.
It really is all about how youstart it.
And if you keep that in mindthat again, a man's most basic
core need is to be admired, itreally does mean that you have
(26:33):
to be careful with your words.
You know, you do have to come atit a certain way where you're
not doing the opposite of.
Speaker (26:41):
Absolutely you do.
Something that comes to mind inrelationships that really throws
masculine and feminine out ofbalance is decision making.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So like, girl, I'm 40 years old.
I'm engaged, I'm getting readyto get married.
That means that I've had likeall this time to be by myself,
do what I want, when I wanna doit, all of the things, right?
(27:03):
Mm-hmm.
Nick is super masculine.
And when making decisions, Ihave to really, this is
something that I've worked onpersonally.
I have to really let him takethe lead on decision making and.
(27:24):
Or appreciate where he's comingfrom, more so on decision
making, you know, and so thisreally comes up for me in, in
personal responsibility.
I wanted to add this, I lost mythought a moment ago, but I
wanna add this.
It's thought process of personalresponsibility for the feminine
(27:46):
entity.
So for the feminine, if there'ssomething going on in your
relationship and you're feelingit,'cause you're gonna feel it
first before the masculine, likebottom line, if you're feeling
it and you automatically go tocriticizing or blaming the other
person for what's happening inyour relationship.
(28:06):
You got it all wrong, sister.
Sister Mr.
You got it all wrong.
You have to take personalresponsibility because the
feminine is gonna feel it first,and then it's an opportunity for
you to alter it right then andthere for you to take an action
step towards balancing it.
Because the feminine is theheart center and they do control
(28:30):
the relationship.
Mm-hmm.
They control everything.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah.
It's like that Gandhi, quote, bethe change you want to see in
the world.
You do have to take that firststep.
If your relationship is fallingapart, if you guys are not
communicating well, all of thesethings are going on.
There is this aspect of havingto swallow your pride.
You can see the bigger picture.
(28:53):
Yeah.
You know, men really, they areable to compartmentalize a lot
more than women.
We see all the boxes connected,right?
So what do you really want?
You want your marriage tosurvive.
You want to have a lovingrelationship, so you have to put
that foot forward.
Don't necessarily expect for theman to do that and.
(29:16):
When you do, when you go, okay,I know what his most basic need
is.
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to fulfill that, eventhough I don't feel like it
right now,'cause he's pissed meoff.
Mm-hmm.
Once you do, then you'll findvery quickly that he starts
fulfilling your needs as well,because that opens him back up
and that's what's mostimportant.
I was gonna mention, Some of thethings that we do in our
(29:39):
relationship because I'm rightthere with you.
And I don't know that I reallyrealized this until we started
talking about the law of gender,but I am deeply in my masculine
energy as well.
And I think that's because Ilike systems, you know, I like
developing the same, it's like acreative outlet for me, and yes.
Yeah.
(29:59):
So like if everything in mylife, if I could systemize it
all, simplify it all, likecreate routines and streamline
every single obligation, everytask, everything, all of it.
That idea to me is.
So exciting.
Like I love that.
Speaker (30:12):
I'm same girl.
My brain is a system.
I have systems for freakingeverything.
Yes.
And it works, and it's foolproofand it's perfect.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
So get in line,
Speaker (30:21):
right?
Yes.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah.
Well, my husband is the completeopposite of this, which we've
talked about that before, butyeah, he's.
Go with the flow.
He wants spontaneity, he wantsvariety.
He wants every day to lookdifferent and to have choices
every day.
And he's much more like reactiveto life in my mind, than
proactive about things He'dprobably say different than, you
(30:46):
know.
Mm-hmm.
But that's my interpretation ofit.
Yeah.
Um, whereas I have a tendency ofthinking if I am not ahead of
the ball.
A ball is going to drop.
Like I have to anticipate andI've gotta have a plan in place.
and Kyle just thinkseverything's gonna work out.
Everything's gonna be fine.
You know, there's no need toworry about anything ahead of
time.
We'll deal with it when itcomes.
And I commend that there's,that's honestly a great way to
(31:07):
be in life.
But I do fear if we both camewith that energy.
Our life would just turn intocomplete chaos,, would just blow
up.
That's, really what I thinkwould happen.
But so here's a few things andour marriage is obviously not
perfect.
Nobody's is.
But a couple of things that Ilearned along the way where I
(31:28):
can.
Take a step with my masculine,yes.
But in order to then be in myfeminine a majority of the time.
Mm-hmm.
That's where I come at it from.
So, we have very clearseparation of tasks, for
example, and Yes.
Yeah.
This was me and my masculinesetting this up, telling him
(31:50):
this is what we're gonna do,but.
We know I'm putting knocks tobed one night he's putting Chloe
to bed.
The next night we're gonnaswitch off and that's our
routine.
I'm going to,, make lunch in themorning.
He's gonna make breakfast andget the kids ready.
You know, we have these veryclear, here's who's going to do
what.
And what that does is it allowsme to.
(32:13):
I'm not the nagging wife becauseit's just, this is just what we
do.
Mm-hmm.
We're in a routine of it.
I don't have to, ask him forhelp, you know?
'cause that's often what itcomes down to, with the woman.
And so we just know that thesethings are going to happen and
that allows me to relax.
Mm-hmm.
And so that's one of the thingsthat, we started doing.
(32:36):
I also.
This is gonna sound a littlecrazy, so
Speaker (32:41):
bring it.
I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
But I use a.
Post-it note, like a sticky notesystem with Kyle.
So you know, you've got thehoney do list.
And I know that this is aproblem in many marriages where
you want them to do thingsquicker than they do them a lot
of the times.
And the problem is, I want toget things off my plate, I wanna
say, here you handle this, andthen know that it's gonna get
(33:04):
taken care of and I don't haveto worry about it anymore.
Mm-hmm.
But what happens often, and Iknow that this happens in a lot
of relationship.
Is, it's important to me, notnecessarily important to him.
So I'm having to remind him,remind him, remind him, did you
do it?
Did you do it?
Did you do it?
Mm-hmm.
And that causes seriousfriction.
Mm-hmm.
So instead what I do now is Iuse a post-it note and I write
(33:26):
it down and I put it on themirror in his bathroom.
And that means I know he'sseeing that twice a day.
I no longer have to remind himand once it comes down, I love
that.
And once it comes down off themirror, it means it's done.
So I don't have to keep checkingback to see when it's done.
I know it's no longer on themirror.
He's done it.
Speaker (33:44):
That's super tricky.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Now you'd have to ask Kyle, I don't know how he really
feels about this.
He might hate it.
But at the end of the day, needto bring Kyle in.
I know I, I need to interviewhim about all this stuff.
Um, but he does it, you know,and at the end of the day, like
that really helps me from day today, not mm-hmm.
Become the nagging wife.
Mm-hmm.
I have the support I needbecause we have a system in
(34:09):
place.
And I think that's kind of whereyou need to get to if you have
those different, relationshipdynamics where you both lead
with different energies.
Speaker (34:19):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, absolutely.
And.
if you can find common groundbetween the masculine and the
feminine, and this is somethingthat I go into also when I'm
trying to balance my masculineand feminine.
When my masculine comes out,I'll often ask myself, if my
(34:41):
best friend was doing this,would I get mad at them?
If my best friend was doingthis, would I say something
about this or would I let itroll?
And it's like this constant,check-in.
Mm-hmm.
And a lot of things that come upare boundaries and openness with
your partner.
(35:01):
And also in dating dynamics, torebalance boundaries, what you
have to do is activate masculineenergy through boundaries.
I love you, but I can't holdspace for you right now.
Boundaries are not walls.
They're actually sacredstructure that keep your energy
clear.
And on the flip side, if yourwalls are up, no one can reach
(35:23):
you.
Too much masculine protection.
Invite the feminine to softenand express and allow safe
vulnerability.
So I do wanna talk about datingdynamics.
Last but not least, okay?
Because for those listeners thatyou know aren't in committed
relationships or marriages andthey're, they're dating on apps,
(35:47):
all of the things, this is foryou guys, and I know you all are
gonna love it.
So here's the scenario.
You're the one that's constantlyplanning the dates, initiating
or controlling how things willgo.
That is over masculine.
You're diving into therelationship instead of letting
it unfold.
(36:08):
That's huge.
And this is how you shift it.
Drop into the feminine, receive,let the other person show up and
trust the flow.
But if you're waiting endlesslyfor someone to take charge, it's
time to awaken your masculineand take the lead.
On your own.
But here's also the thing withmasculine feminine energies and
(36:30):
dating.
If you want a masculine personand you start dating someone and
they're not like showing youaffection or attention, and you
are the one having to reach outto them and plan dates and be
like, Hey, do you wanna gettogether this weekend?
They're probably not yourperson.
(36:50):
Like if you're wanting someonesuper masculine to show up and
they're not doing that right offthe bat, guess what?
They're not gonna switch intoit.
Next swipe.
Oh, what?
Okay.
So I had to get that in last,but not least.
And it reminds me of this bookthat my mom got me when I was in
my early twenties, and it's, uh,they made a movie about it.
(37:11):
It's called, he's Just Not ThatInto You.
Oh yeah, I read that too.
Oh.
Like I love my mom.
She gave it to both me and mysister and it changed the dating
game for me.
It changed everything.
And it was the beginning of melearning masculine and feminine
energies.
So I'm sure you've seen themovie.
(37:31):
If you haven't read the book,pick that up.
So dive into really looking atyour masculine and feminine
energies in your relationshipand look and see.
And just notice this week youdon't have to implement any of
these tools, but maybe this weekyou just look at it and
evaluate.
And look and say, you know, atthe end of the day, say, okay, I
(37:52):
was really in my masculineenergy then and next time I'm
gonna try to be more in myfeminine and this is what I'm
gonna do to be more in myfeminine.
And so take little baby stepsand just acknowledging the
energy, watching it.
Balance, watching where theimbalance is and then maybe
jotting down some notes for thenext time that it happens.
(38:16):
And third, if you needrelationship help in any way,
shape, or form, even if yourrelationship is perfect or if
you want a future relationship,get anything by the Gottman's
because they are the masters.
They explain things so well andit'll be the perfect pathway for
(38:36):
you.
All right guys.
Thank you so much for listeningin.
Tune in next time, likesubscribe and share.
Visit our websites and we hopeyou have a magical day.
Hi guys.
I'm Gina Scapino, psychic,medium and spiritual life coach.
Here is your energy update forthe week ahead.
We have some big themes.
We have relationships andvalues, security and resources,
dreams into structure.
Unexpected wake-ups andgrounding is paramount.
As we look at all of these.
(02:08):
Themes that are coming into theweek, you can see that it's a
hefty week.
It's hefty.
It got a lot going on.
So with relationships andvalues, I want you to think
about, are my relationshipsaligned with what I deeply
value?
Am I honoring my worth?
Am I building something thatlasts rather than chasing
(02:30):
novelty?
With security and resourcesawakening a new awakening around
what makes you feel safe, andthis has to do with money, home
body routines, some shift couldhappen, an insight, a decision,
maybe even something external.
Prompting this change.
(02:50):
And then when we look at dreamsinto structure, things you've
been reflecting on or postponingcould now start to move.
Hallelujah.
I've been waiting for this.
This is a good week to getpractical about your vision and
what is your next step?
So let's talk about unexpectedwake up calls, shall we?
(03:10):
Because something that youthought was super solid might
show some cracks.
This is actually an opportunitythat's going to appear out of
the blue.
Now, your mantra for this isflexibility is key.
So if you come across somethingthat you thought was super solid
and you're starting to see thecracks, or your rose colored
glasses are coming off.
(03:31):
Be flexible.
This is here to help you and toguide you.
Do not run away.
All right?
And with grounding, because ofall of these shifts, your body,
your routines, your self care,sleep, nourishment.
All of that matter, way moreright now.
The energies will feel strongerif your foundation is super
(03:54):
shaky.
So ground yourself, be present,and really, really take care of
yourself.
So here's your mantra.
I release the noise and returnto my center.
My choices are guided, my timingis divine.
What's meant for me will find mebecause I am finally still
enough to receive it.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the Charmed LifeProject.
A couple episodes back, weexplored the law of gender, and
we talked all about theimportance of balancing both the
masculine and feminine energieswithin ourselves.
Because to live a truly alignedlife, we need both the structure
and direction of the masculineand the flow and intuition of
the feminine.
(04:37):
But today we're going to take itone step further.
Into the realm of relationshipswhere that inner balance shifts
into a shared balance, a dancebetween two souls, while each
person holds both energieswithin them, harmony in a
partnership happens when oneleads primarily with the
masculine and the other with thefeminine.
(04:58):
It's that polarity, the contrastbetween energies that creates
attraction, chemistry, andemotional flow.
It's what fosters that magnetictension that keeps things alive
and vibrant between two people.
Without it, relationships canstart to feel flat or
disconnected because here's thetruth.
Too much sameness killsattraction.
(05:20):
When two people are both sittingin masculine energy, you'll see
a lot of power struggles,constant clashing competition
and the need to controloutcomes.
And when both are too much intheir feminine, it can feel
confusing.
There's indecision, lack ofdirection, and no one really
leading the way forward.
But when one partner is groundedin their healthy masculine, the
(05:43):
energy of presence.
Safety direction and structure,and the other is open in their
feminine.
The flowing, nurturing,inspiring, and expressive
energy.
That's where the magic happens.
The masculine creates thestructure and the feminine fills
that structure with life andsoftness.
Each energy brings out the bestin the other.
(06:05):
That's when chemistry feelseffortless.
Communication fill deeper, andboth people feel seen and
appreciated for who they are.
So today we're diving into howto cultivate that balance, not
just within ourselves as we didon the Law of Gender episode,
but between two people.
We're going to tell you how toactually create that energetic
harmony since it is thefoundation for deep lasting
(06:27):
love.
Now, Gina has a lot ofexperience coaching her clients
through these concepts, so I'mreally going to lean into her
wisdom for this one.
And while I'm not a relationshipcoach myself, I've done some
research of my own, which hasled to some insights that I'm
excited to share as well.
So Gina, maybe you could startby telling us what the healthy,
masculine and healthy femininerelationships look like.
(06:51):
I think we could all benefitfrom hearing some real world
examples of what this looks likewhen two partners are leading
with their natural energies.
Speaker (07:00):
Today we're diving into what it feels like when the
energies between two people stopcompeting and start co-creating.
I'm gonna first talk about whatit's like when it's in balance,
and then, we're gonna get intothe thick of it and talk about
when it's not in balance.
So understanding the balance, ahealthy, energetic relationship
isn't about gender, it's aboutpolarity.
(07:22):
The divine masculine holds thecontainer.
Presence, direction, structureand safety.
The divine feminine flows withinthe container.
Intuition, creativity, emotion,sensuality.
When balanced, one doesn'toverpower the other.
The masculine says, I've gotyou.
And the feminine says, I trustyou.
(07:44):
And together that createsenergetic union.
So what it feels like in reallife examples.
There's emotional safety.
You can express your feelingswithout fear of being dismissed.
This is a huge one.
There's direction and flow.
One partner may take the leadwith grounded vision while the
(08:04):
other brings depth, color, andheart.
There's respect of polarity.
If one is in chaos, the otheranchors.
If one is overdoing the othersoftens.
It's not 50 50 every day.
It's an intuitive dance, justlike Kim said, where the energy
shifts depending on what'sneeded.
(08:25):
So if she's spiraling inemotion, he doesn't try to fix
her, and he stays present.
He's lost in overthinking.
She doesn't criticize.
She reminds him to feel that'sbalance in motion.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
There is a way to maintain that positive balance,
and it really comes down to twothings Women need adoration and
men need admiration.
I found this over and over againas I was doing my research.
So men need admiration.
They need to feel trusted,respected, and appreciated for
(09:01):
what they do.
The quickest way to a man'sheart isn't through.
Cooking or sex.
Contrary to popular belief, it'sthrough praise.
So instead of only offering lovethrough caretaking, which is
what a lot of women do to showtheir love.
Mm-hmm.
If you really want him to feelyour love, you have to verbalize
(09:22):
your appreciation for both hiseffort and his presence.
This is how you really.
Speak directly to his core.
Saying things like, I love howyou took care of that.
You're amazing at your job.
I know I can trust you.
And then on the flip side, thefeminine thrives when she feels
seen and cherished.
She doesn't want to be loved forwhat she does.
(09:44):
She wants to be loved for whoshe is.
And the quickest way to awoman's heart is not about
complimenting her performance,it's about seeing the beauty in
her essence.
I love hearing what's on yourmind.
You make this house feel alive.
You light up the room.
You're stunning when you'repassionate about something.
When a woman feels adored, shesoftens.
(10:06):
She becomes more expressive,creative, nurturing, radiant.
All of those feminine qualitiesreally are magnetized, but
without adoration, she startsfeeling unseen or like she has
to earn love, which pushes herback into doing, into her mass.
Skill.
So just remembering that menwant to do, women want to be,
(10:30):
men want to feel appreciated forwhat they do.
Women want to feel appreciatedsimply for being.
And you know, of course that'sback to that men are from Mars,
women are from Venus, right?
Yeah.
Of course we need and want tototally different things.
But my question for you is howdo we manage this in today's
(10:50):
time?
Because.
To me, this sounds like typicalgender roles, but mm-hmm.
We have moved away from that somuch as a society.
I mean, if you are a mother, ifyou have kids and you also have
a job, odds are you are doing alot.
Some women may feel like they'redoing more than their husband.
(11:12):
Okay?
Mm-hmm.
And obviously this dynamic andthis mindset is going to bring
out the worst in both because.
The woman is not going to bepraising the man for what he's
doing when she feels like she'sdoing more, and the man is not
going to be admiring the womanbecause.
Let's face it, her light isreally dim when she's doing so
(11:32):
much, and when that loop breaksdown, when she stops showing
appreciation and he stopsoffering adoration, everything
starts to close off.
So how can we balance this in areal life way when this dynamic
is at play in so manyrelationships?
Speaker (11:50):
Okay, so first I also have to add this in for some of
our listeners when we're talkingabout male and female
relationships, or the masculinerole and the feminine role, it
is not just with him and her.
Yes.
Pronouns.
So when we're talking aboutthis, and you can just plug this
(12:11):
in when we're talking aboutthis, when we're talking about
the masculine role.
In the feminine role that can bewith any gender or any
identification.
Mm-hmm.
And you will know who's themasculine role and who's the
morph.
Feminine role.
It doesn't matter who you are,there's always one in the
relationship hands down.
(12:32):
So you decipher which one iswhich.
But to manage this or balancethis in today's society, it
really does have to be a dancebetween the two people.
Like in my situation, my fianceNick, he has a full-time job.
He's super crazy masculine,which I love, but also I'm an
(12:53):
entrepreneur and a businessowner myself, so I'm in my
masculine a ton.
But if you were to see me, you'dbe like, oh my God, she's so
feminine.
Right?
But I have to really work onkeeping my.
Masculine balanced with myfeminine because of what I do
for a living on a daily basis.
(13:13):
Mm-hmm.
And so in thinking about theseroles, what you really have to
focus is on your two tips thatyou just gave us.
And that's how you really manageit.
If the feminine entity isfeeling like they're doing too
much in their relationship, thenthey have to use their masculine
energy to voice it.
(13:34):
Mm-hmm.
And say, Hey, this is what'sgoing on.
So this is what it can look likewith the unhealthy dynamic.
So when energies are distorted,the wounded masculine controls
criticizes or withdraws, I takefull ownership that I can get
(13:55):
into my masculine and try tocontrol and criticize, and I do
withdraw like a hundred percent.
Mm-hmm.
I go super introverted.
The wounded feminine manipulatesovergive play small.
You'll feel power strugglesshut, downs, and emotional
exhaustion.
Instead of polarity, you willget polarity flipping.
(14:17):
The energy's constantly fightingfor dominance.
So healing begins when bothpeople learn to self-regulate
their own polarity beforebringing it into a relationship.
And you guys, that is so key tounderstanding yourself, learning
to balance the feminine and themasculine.
(14:38):
For all the people out therethat get all of their
information on TikTok, wipe itall clean.
This is the one thing that youneed to focus on.
Masculine heals throughintegrity and stillness.
And feminine heels throughexpression and surrender.
I'm gonna say that one moretime.
Masculine heal through integrityand stillness and feminine heels
(15:01):
through expression andsurrender.
And here's the thing.
As a woman, I've had to healboth my masculine and my
feminine.
And so when you're an intuitiveperson, you're more than likely
not gonna be wounded in just oneside or the other.
There's gonna be wounds in both.
So dive into both and balanceboth.
(15:24):
So on communication andrelationships, we're gonna dive
super deep into this becausewhen you are in a relationship,
the balance of masculine andfeminine for me is so tough
because I feel every singleshift of slight energy and it
(15:45):
perks me up and I'm like.
Okay, where do I have to berebalance?
I'm constantly rebalancing,constantly looking at my
relationship and evaluating do Ineed to bring more feminine?
Do I need to bring moremasculine?
Okay, so if a disagreementhappens, one partner shuts down
(16:05):
and the other spiralsemotionally too much masculine,
shuts down vulnerability.
Too much feminine floods thespace with emotion.
How many people have experiencedthis so many times?
Right?
So when it's balanced, oneperson grounds the space.
Let's take a breath.
I'm listening while the otheropens up emotionally.
(16:28):
Here's what I'm feeling.
I'm not blaming that Sacredpolarity and action structure
and softness in working togetherand.
As I'm thinking about this, I'malso thinking about the
Gottman's because they are theworld's relationship experts.
(16:49):
I've read a couple of theirbooks.
I love how they teach.
I actually have two more oftheir books in my cart right now
because as Nicholas and I aregetting ready to get married and
focus on our relationship.
We really want to make sure ourbond is strong.
And they really teach us a lotof great principles.
(17:10):
And Kim, I know you love theGottman's too, don't you?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I actually had never heard of them.
Um, so it's ing No way.
I know I sent my notes to youand I said that I was gonna
bring'em up because you hadmentioned it on the Law of
Gender episode and I had neverheard of them.
But of course once I started,researching relationships and
the balance of energies and allof that, they came up.
Mm-hmm.
Over and over and over again.
Oh yeah.
Um, but I will say like one ofthe biggest.
(17:36):
Things that I kept seeing and itjust makes so much sense.
Was they call it the fourhorsemen of the apocalypse?
Mm-hmm.
Which is basically theirresearch that shows that they
can predict divorce with 97.5%accuracy.
97.5% accuracy.
They can determine just fromtalking to a couple if they're
(17:59):
going to get divorced or not.
And it's based, oh my God.
On, yeah, so, so everybodylisten up.
We all need to hear this.
It's based on four communicationpatterns in marriage, and those
four are criticism.
Stonewalling contempt anddefensiveness.
And if you really break thosedown, this is what I found so
(18:20):
interesting.
They are the opposite ofadoration and admiration.
So if you look at ah, yeah, ifyou look at criticism, which we
know of course is most common infemales.
This is the opposite ofadmiration, If you're critiquing
someone, you are certainly notadmiring them, right?
Speaker (18:42):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
And then stonewalling, which is,
withdraw, you're not even in theargument.
You're just totally ignoring theother person.
And this is most common in men.
And of course, what's theopposite of adoring something?
Totally ignoring it, right?
And then we have contempt, whichis superiority.
You know, I'm better than youkind of communication.
(19:05):
Mm-hmm.
And obviously if you're feelingyou like you're superior to
someone, you're definitely notadmiring or adoring them.
And then defensiveness, which.
I wanna talk about this one alittle bit more because this was
also something that kept comingup in the masculine feminine
conversation aroundrelationships.
Mm-hmm.
Um, you know, one of the keyingredients in a healthy balance
(19:29):
is that the feminine expresseswithout blaming.
And this is key because thefeminine is expressive, that
energy is expressive.
She needs to express and.
She needs to feel emotionallysafe to do so, but she has to
find a way to do it without itcoming across as blame.
(19:52):
The masculine needs to be ableto listen without needing to
fix, which is hard because theywant to do right?
Mm-hmm.
But you can't do something maybeabout something that's already
happened.
Right.
You can't go back and fix it.
And that's where theirfrustration comes in because
they can't do anything.
Mm-hmm.
(20:12):
And this is of course, wheremost men become defensive.
They take it as a personalattack, they shut down.
And their defensiveness thentriggers the woman back into
their masculine to either fixthe disconnect or, you know,
fight it out.
Yeah.
But.
(20:33):
It's really, the femininewanting to share her feelings
and to be heard.
They don't want the man to doanything in this case.
They just want them to hearthem, to see them.
So I think this is obviouslywhere a lot of relationships go
off track, and it's probably themajority of what, they talk
about in therapy and counseling,how to talk to each other
(20:55):
without getting defensive,without blaming.
And we see this a lot.
I mean, there's that naggingwife persona, like we see that
all the time where men feel likethey're constantly being
micromanaged, constantly beingmm-hmm.
Critiqued.
But of course, what's reallyneeded in these moments is the
feminine.
To be emotionally open and leadwith expression saying, I feel,
(21:18):
and the masculine respondingjust with presence.
I hear you.
What do you need from me rightnow?
Yeah, and the answer to that istypically nothing.
Just listen, just hear me.
Just see me appreciate what Ihave to say.
Speaker (21:32):
That is such a classic scenario of the nagging
feminine.
Mm-hmm.
The nagging feminine gets tothat point because the masculine
goes to feminine.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
So, riddle me this, so thenagging feminine happens because
the masculine has gone into thefeminine and has stopped taking
(21:56):
divine action, has stoppedgiving that attention, has
stopped giving that admiration,and stop giving all of that
energy towards the feminine.
So then the feminine goes intomasculine and is like, hello.
I'm still here.
Take care of me.
Pay attention to me.
And that is such a classicscenario of the woman's
(22:20):
complaining that, or thefeminines complaining that the
masculine isn't doing enough andthe masculine is like, just
leave me alone.
And it's this secular thing thatyou really have to pay attention
to and also choose the rightpartner that wants to keep the
balance with you.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's funny because, even in, like the damsel and
distress archetype Yeah.
There's something to thatbecause.
It's not about being weak, butit is about allowing a man to
feel needed, like when he getsto step up and save the day,
(23:02):
what's really happeningunderneath is that he's feeling
respected and effective.
And so a lot of times in thosesituations, if you can come at
it from that perspective of.
I feel this way and this,however something is affecting
you, and giving him theopportunity then to come in and
(23:23):
save the day as well.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Instead of just, you do this,you do that, it's really a
language change and it changeseverything.
Speaker (23:33):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Because if you look at ascenario of, say, a
disagreement.
Between the feminine, and themasculine, you all are having a
disagreement.
Instead of voicing yourfeelings, you say, oh my God, I
can't believe you did that.
That makes me feel sodisrespected.
(23:56):
That sounds kind of like whatyou should do, but not at all
whatsoever.
Mm-hmm.
Instead say, and this issomething that Nicholas and I
try to practice often ishandholding through conflict.
And I admit I'm not the bestabout this.
He helps me tremendously.
(24:17):
'cause I'm like, ah.
So we try to.
When we have a disagreement orhave a discussion through
conflict, we try to sit down andhold hands so that we stay
connected because I have atendency of it's me against you.
Like I automatically go to thatplace.
But if we sit down and we holdhands, and instead of saying,
(24:40):
you did this and it made me feelthis way.
Instead say, Hey honey, I'mfeeling really scared right now.
I'm feeling lonely and I'mfeeling like I need some
reassurance from you that'sgonna land a lot different than,
oh my God, you did this thingand I feel lonely.
(25:03):
I feel effed up like I'm insidemy head.
Like, that's a completelydifferent energy than going into
your heart center and actuallysharing how you're feeling.
Instead of saying, this thingmade me feel this way.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, absolutely.
You
Speaker (25:18):
can voice that later on in discussion, but at first it
has to be really from that heartspace.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah.
And there's something to thatabout the way you open an
argument or a disagreement or aconversation is gonna set the
tone for it.
So I think, a lot of times wehave a tendency, or the feminine
has a tendency to, in themoment.
Go off on whatever is in hermind and whatever she's
thinking, but really taking abreath and thinking to yourself,
(25:48):
okay, when is the best time toapproach this?
Maybe it's not, right after hegets home from work, you know,
maybe it's not, Certain timeswhen you know that he's more
stressed out or not very open.
When is the best time to talkabout this?
And also, how can I open thiswhat's that first sentence going
to be outta my mouth that I canopen this in a way that he will
(26:10):
be receptive to hear it, asopposed to just closing down
right off the bat.
I also have problems with that,but I've, you know, I've, I've
realized it over, however manyyears of marriage that.
It really is all about how youstart it.
And if you keep that in mindthat again, a man's most basic
core need is to be admired, itreally does mean that you have
(26:33):
to be careful with your words.
You know, you do have to come atit a certain way where you're
not doing the opposite of.
Speaker (26:41):
Absolutely you do.
Something that comes to mind inrelationships that really throws
masculine and feminine out ofbalance is decision making.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So like, girl, I'm 40 years old.
I'm engaged, I'm getting readyto get married.
That means that I've had likeall this time to be by myself,
do what I want, when I wanna doit, all of the things, right?
(27:03):
Mm-hmm.
Nick is super masculine.
And when making decisions, Ihave to really, this is
something that I've worked onpersonally.
I have to really let him takethe lead on decision making and.
(27:24):
Or appreciate where he's comingfrom, more so on decision
making, you know, and so thisreally comes up for me in, in
personal responsibility.
I wanted to add this, I lost mythought a moment ago, but I
wanna add this.
It's thought process of personalresponsibility for the feminine
(27:46):
entity.
So for the feminine, if there'ssomething going on in your
relationship and you're feelingit,'cause you're gonna feel it
first before the masculine, likebottom line, if you're feeling
it and you automatically go tocriticizing or blaming the other
person for what's happening inyour relationship.
(28:06):
You got it all wrong, sister.
Sister Mr.
You got it all wrong.
You have to take personalresponsibility because the
feminine is gonna feel it first,and then it's an opportunity for
you to alter it right then andthere for you to take an action
step towards balancing it.
Because the feminine is theheart center and they do control
(28:30):
the relationship.
Mm-hmm.
They control everything.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah.
It's like that Gandhi, quote, bethe change you want to see in
the world.
You do have to take that firststep.
If your relationship is fallingapart, if you guys are not
communicating well, all of thesethings are going on.
There is this aspect of havingto swallow your pride.
You can see the bigger picture.
(28:53):
Yeah.
You know, men really, they areable to compartmentalize a lot
more than women.
We see all the boxes connected,right?
So what do you really want?
You want your marriage tosurvive.
You want to have a lovingrelationship, so you have to put
that foot forward.
Don't necessarily expect for theman to do that and.
(29:16):
When you do, when you go, okay,I know what his most basic need
is.
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to fulfill that, eventhough I don't feel like it
right now,'cause he's pissed meoff.
Mm-hmm.
Once you do, then you'll findvery quickly that he starts
fulfilling your needs as well,because that opens him back up
and that's what's mostimportant.
I was gonna mention, Some of thethings that we do in our
(29:39):
relationship because I'm rightthere with you.
And I don't know that I reallyrealized this until we started
talking about the law of gender,but I am deeply in my masculine
energy as well.
And I think that's because Ilike systems, you know, I like
developing the same, it's like acreative outlet for me, and yes.
Yeah.
(29:59):
So like if everything in mylife, if I could systemize it
all, simplify it all, likecreate routines and streamline
every single obligation, everytask, everything, all of it.
That idea to me is.
So exciting.
Like I love that.
Speaker (30:12):
I'm same girl.
My brain is a system.
I have systems for freakingeverything.
Yes.
And it works, and it's foolproofand it's perfect.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
So get in line,
Speaker (30:21):
right?
Yes.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah.
Well, my husband is the completeopposite of this, which we've
talked about that before, butyeah, he's.
Go with the flow.
He wants spontaneity, he wantsvariety.
He wants every day to lookdifferent and to have choices
every day.
And he's much more like reactiveto life in my mind, than
proactive about things He'dprobably say different than, you
(30:46):
know.
Mm-hmm.
But that's my interpretation ofit.
Yeah.
Um, whereas I have a tendency ofthinking if I am not ahead of
the ball.
A ball is going to drop.
Like I have to anticipate andI've gotta have a plan in place.
and Kyle just thinkseverything's gonna work out.
Everything's gonna be fine.
You know, there's no need toworry about anything ahead of
time.
We'll deal with it when itcomes.
And I commend that there's,that's honestly a great way to
(31:07):
be in life.
But I do fear if we both camewith that energy.
Our life would just turn intocomplete chaos,, would just blow
up.
That's, really what I thinkwould happen.
But so here's a few things andour marriage is obviously not
perfect.
Nobody's is.
But a couple of things that Ilearned along the way where I
(31:28):
can.
Take a step with my masculine,yes.
But in order to then be in myfeminine a majority of the time.
Mm-hmm.
That's where I come at it from.
So, we have very clearseparation of tasks, for
example, and Yes.
Yeah.
This was me and my masculinesetting this up, telling him
(31:50):
this is what we're gonna do,but.
We know I'm putting knocks tobed one night he's putting Chloe
to bed.
The next night we're gonnaswitch off and that's our
routine.
I'm going to,, make lunch in themorning.
He's gonna make breakfast andget the kids ready.
You know, we have these veryclear, here's who's going to do
what.
And what that does is it allowsme to.
(32:13):
I'm not the nagging wife becauseit's just, this is just what we
do.
Mm-hmm.
We're in a routine of it.
I don't have to, ask him forhelp, you know?
'cause that's often what itcomes down to, with the woman.
And so we just know that thesethings are going to happen and
that allows me to relax.
Mm-hmm.
And so that's one of the thingsthat, we started doing.
(32:36):
I also.
This is gonna sound a littlecrazy, so
Speaker (32:41):
bring it.
I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
But I use a.
Post-it note, like a sticky notesystem with Kyle.
So you know, you've got thehoney do list.
And I know that this is aproblem in many marriages where
you want them to do thingsquicker than they do them a lot
of the times.
And the problem is, I want toget things off my plate, I wanna
say, here you handle this, andthen know that it's gonna get
(33:04):
taken care of and I don't haveto worry about it anymore.
Mm-hmm.
But what happens often, and Iknow that this happens in a lot
of relationship.
Is, it's important to me, notnecessarily important to him.
So I'm having to remind him,remind him, remind him, did you
do it?
Did you do it?
Did you do it?
Mm-hmm.
And that causes seriousfriction.
Mm-hmm.
So instead what I do now is Iuse a post-it note and I write
(33:26):
it down and I put it on themirror in his bathroom.
And that means I know he'sseeing that twice a day.
I no longer have to remind himand once it comes down, I love
that.
And once it comes down off themirror, it means it's done.
So I don't have to keep checkingback to see when it's done.
I know it's no longer on themirror.
He's done it.
Speaker (33:44):
That's super tricky.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Now you'd have to ask Kyle, I don't know how he really
feels about this.
He might hate it.
But at the end of the day, needto bring Kyle in.
I know I, I need to interviewhim about all this stuff.
Um, but he does it, you know,and at the end of the day, like
that really helps me from day today, not mm-hmm.
Become the nagging wife.
Mm-hmm.
I have the support I needbecause we have a system in
(34:09):
place.
And I think that's kind of whereyou need to get to if you have
those different, relationshipdynamics where you both lead
with different energies.
Speaker (34:19):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, absolutely.
And.
if you can find common groundbetween the masculine and the
feminine, and this is somethingthat I go into also when I'm
trying to balance my masculineand feminine.
When my masculine comes out,I'll often ask myself, if my
(34:41):
best friend was doing this,would I get mad at them?
If my best friend was doingthis, would I say something
about this or would I let itroll?
And it's like this constant,check-in.
Mm-hmm.
And a lot of things that come upare boundaries and openness with
your partner.
(35:01):
And also in dating dynamics, torebalance boundaries, what you
have to do is activate masculineenergy through boundaries.
I love you, but I can't holdspace for you right now.
Boundaries are not walls.
They're actually sacredstructure that keep your energy
clear.
And on the flip side, if yourwalls are up, no one can reach
(35:23):
you.
Too much masculine protection.
Invite the feminine to softenand express and allow safe
vulnerability.
So I do wanna talk about datingdynamics.
Last but not least, okay?
Because for those listeners thatyou know aren't in committed
relationships or marriages andthey're, they're dating on apps,
(35:47):
all of the things, this is foryou guys, and I know you all are
gonna love it.
So here's the scenario.
You're the one that's constantlyplanning the dates, initiating
or controlling how things willgo.
That is over masculine.
You're diving into therelationship instead of letting
it unfold.
(36:08):
That's huge.
And this is how you shift it.
Drop into the feminine, receive,let the other person show up and
trust the flow.
But if you're waiting endlesslyfor someone to take charge, it's
time to awaken your masculineand take the lead.
On your own.
But here's also the thing withmasculine feminine energies and
(36:30):
dating.
If you want a masculine personand you start dating someone and
they're not like showing youaffection or attention, and you
are the one having to reach outto them and plan dates and be
like, Hey, do you wanna gettogether this weekend?
They're probably not yourperson.
(36:50):
Like if you're wanting someonesuper masculine to show up and
they're not doing that right offthe bat, guess what?
They're not gonna switch intoit.
Next swipe.
Oh, what?
Okay.
So I had to get that in last,but not least.
And it reminds me of this bookthat my mom got me when I was in
my early twenties, and it's, uh,they made a movie about it.
(37:11):
It's called, he's Just Not ThatInto You.
Oh yeah, I read that too.
Oh.
Like I love my mom.
She gave it to both me and mysister and it changed the dating
game for me.
It changed everything.
And it was the beginning of melearning masculine and feminine
energies.
So I'm sure you've seen themovie.
(37:31):
If you haven't read the book,pick that up.
So dive into really looking atyour masculine and feminine
energies in your relationshipand look and see.
And just notice this week youdon't have to implement any of
these tools, but maybe this weekyou just look at it and
evaluate.
And look and say, you know, atthe end of the day, say, okay, I
(37:52):
was really in my masculineenergy then and next time I'm
gonna try to be more in myfeminine and this is what I'm
gonna do to be more in myfeminine.
And so take little baby stepsand just acknowledging the
energy, watching it.
Balance, watching where theimbalance is and then maybe
jotting down some notes for thenext time that it happens.
(38:16):
And third, if you needrelationship help in any way,
shape, or form, even if yourrelationship is perfect or if
you want a future relationship,get anything by the Gottman's
because they are the masters.
They explain things so well andit'll be the perfect pathway for
(38:36):
you.
All right guys.
Thank you so much for listeningin.
Tune in next time, likesubscribe and share.
Visit our websites and we hopeyou have a magical day.
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