April 3, 2025 • 43 mins
The mamas reconnect after Ivy and Ari welcome their newest babies to tackle one of motherhood's most challenging yet least discussed realities: postpartum depression. With raw honesty, they share their darkest moments - from detachment so severe that a baby's injury barely registered, to locking themselves in bathrooms while children cried outside the door, to the overwhelming isolation of navigating hormonal chaos without support.
The conversation ventures into territory rarely explored in mainstream discussions about motherhood. Military deployments, overseas stations, and partners absent during crucial postpartum periods created perfect storms of emotional distress for these women. TK reveals, "I didn't even think that I really was attached to my baby until she was in my stomach at six months," highlighting how depression can begin even before birth.
What makes this discussion so powerful is the balance between vulnerability and practical wisdom. The hosts share breakthrough strategies that helped them climb out of their darkest places - from strategic affirmations placed throughout their homes to the life-changing impact of a supportive partner who takes night shifts and ensures mom gets breaks. They address the complicated relationship with postpartum bodies, acknowledging that both weight gain and weight loss can trigger insecurity depending on one's starting point.
Their advice for new mothers cuts through the noise with clarity and compassion: ask for help without shame, prioritize self-care because "you cannot pour from an empty cup," and ignore anyone who tells you not to "spoil" your baby with too much affection. For mothers currently drowning in postpartum darkness, this episode offers not just understanding but a roadmap toward healing, complete with resources like the Postpartum Support International helpline. Join this intimate conversation that normalizes the struggle while refusing to leave listeners without hope for brighter days ahead.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi Mamas, welcome to the Chronicles of Melanin Mamas.
We created this podcast, threeMamas Coming Together to create
a safe space for hot, humble,open and transparent
conversations around how ourpast and present has affected
the way we do motherhood.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hey Mamas, it has been a minute.
Oh mamas, it has been a minute.
Oh my gosh, we are so excitedto be back.
Listen, it's been so long thatboth Ivy and I have both given
birth to our newest additions.
Yes, and I think it's so ontime.
This episode is about postpartumdepression.
Every mom period goes throughthat postpartum phase.
(00:46):
You know whether you've givenbirth to children, whether
you've had, you know, stillbirthor miscarriage, whatever your
journey is, postpartum looksdifferent for us all.
So tonight we're going to jumpin and really just dive into all
of our experiences with eachpregnancy, because we've all had
multiple pregnancies and eachpregnancy is different.
Personally, I know that formyself, I've had six pregnancies
(01:11):
.
I have five living children andI only remember having like
real postpartum depression inone of those journeys, and it
could have been a culmination ofthings, because my husband went
to basic training during thisparticular postpartum experience
(01:31):
and it was just really, reallyheavy on me.
So, ivy or TK, have you guysexperienced postpartum
depression with all of yourpregnancies?
With one of your pregnancies,what did you guys' journey look
like with all of your?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
pregnancies.
With one of your pregnancies,what did you guys' journey look
like?
So, for me at least, I feellike my first pregnancy yes, I
did, you know it wasoverwhelming for sure.
But with this one I feel like Ikind of know what to expect.
So I guess I won't let myselfget down.
In a sense, I feel like I'madjusting a lot better and also
I have more support over there.
I and also I have more supportover there.
(02:08):
I didn't really have supportlike being overseas, but now I'm
here, I have family that comesby and see me, friends and
everything like that.
So I feel like I haven't hitthat and hopefully I don't get
postpartum depression.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, so for me I definitely experienced it with
both kids, with Giannis.
So my husband at the time wasin the military and we didn't
have family around Obviously.
You know, my parents came downthere for a couple of weeks
after I gave.
I don't even think it was acouple of weeks, I think it was
(02:35):
just maybe for a few days.
They came down there and whenmy mom came down and she stayed
for a little bit and after thatit was just kind of like it was
just us on our own and I thinkmy depression with Giannis was
so bad.
One night I remember him wakingup and I know y'all like oh my
(02:56):
God, like don't let your babysleep in the bed.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blahListen y'all, when you are tired
, you just gave birth.
You waking up in the middle ofthe night, like all that stuff
goes out the window.
So yes, giannis did sleep inthe bed with us for a little bit
(03:20):
and he did have his separate,you know, you know bed, but for
the most part he slept in thebed with us and you know we were
very cautious about it.
But he woke up one night and Iwas like very tired.
He basically hit his headagainst the headboard.
I looked at him and I went backto sleep.
So I was very much not thereand honestly it sounds bad, but
(03:44):
to be honest, I didn't even care.
He had hit his head.
That's how depressed I was, um,and just detached from you know
, from honestly justunderstanding like who I was and
that I, you know that this,this little baby, just hurt us.
That's crazy.
Right like I, he literally hitthe hell out of his head.
I looked at him and I just wentright back to sleep and I was
(04:06):
just like whatever, like it wasjust like it was like whatever.
So that was with Giannis.
With Willow it was a little bitdifferent because, you know, my
husband and I's situation wasrough.
You know we were going throughour marriage issues and so it
(04:26):
did make just being a secondtime mom a lot harder.
I don't even think that Ireally was attached to Willow
until Willow was in my stomach.
I think she was like, I think Iwas like six months.
I didn't go to the doctor untilI was six months with Willow
because I didn't believe that Iwas pregnant with her.
(04:46):
I was in denial, I knew I waspregnant but I just didn't.
I didn't want to believe that Iwas, and so when she came out,
it wasn't like a deep, deepdepression, but I did feel
myself.
You know not being TK, so, yeah, it wasn't as bad as Gianna's,
but I definitely experienced it.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
You know what I really commend you by telling
your story about.
You know the dark truths ofstuff, because a lot of people
don't want to say.
You know, tell the truth aboutpostpartum depression.
Like people become suicidal,homicidal.
Like there's a lot of thingsyou know, you think about and,
like we said with your kid orwhatnot, like, um, you didn't
care about him in his head, likeyou just were not intact with
(05:28):
reality, like, and you know it'ssomething that you can't really
control at the moment.
So, um, yeah, I mean it maysound bad, but that's just the
truth of it.
I feel like a lot of peoplethat don't go through it
probably won't really understandit.
So, yeah, yeah, that'sdefinitely something, um, a lot
of mothers probably do face andthey don't feel comfortable
talking to people becausethey're afraid, oh, their child
(05:50):
might get taken away or whatnot.
So, yeah, that's good.
You shared that with us andeverybody else?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
yeah, definitely it.
You know you get afraid of likethe judgment part of it.
Um, and I know Ari, I mean youhave, you know, five kiddos, so
I can only imagine like howdifferent each time was for you.
I know that you know, justbecause we, you know we
experience postpartum, that doesnot mean that we're depressed,
(06:18):
but from your side, like whatwas like your worst moment in
postpartum.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So before I jump into that, I just want to like put
it into perspective.
For some people especially anyof the you know male species who
may be listening, and everyother, like sickness or chemical
imbalance, like you go througha recovery period.
Postpartum is that recoveryperiod, like they literally call
it, a chemical imbalance.
It takes up to a year for yourhormones to even regulate.
(06:46):
So not only do you not know whoyou are, you know in that
process your body doesn't evenknow.
You know, like what's going on.
It's going haywire.
It's trying to pull stuff backinto perspective.
For me, probably, like I said,the brunt of my postpartum
depression was after I had myfifth baby, my fifth pregnancy,
(07:09):
I should say.
And, like I said, my husbandwas at basic training.
That's the longest time I hadever been out of contact with
him, the longest I'd gonewithout seeing him, you know.
And I wasn't in a space where Ireally wanted to let anybody
else inside of what I was goingthrough.
(07:29):
I masked a lot of stuff.
I'm a person who cares a lotabout other people's feelings
you know, not their opinions andwhat they think about me.
But just like I don't want tobog anybody else down with my
issues and what I'm goingthrough.
So I tend to, you know, justkeep it all inside until I can't
anymore.
(07:50):
And it was kind of like thatsituation.
I just felt like stuff waspiling up.
Aiden was born in December, sohe was born December 1st.
I lost my first son in January,so Almond left for basic
training on the 3rd of January.
The anniversary of my son'sdeath was on the 10th of January
(08:12):
, and then on the 8th ofFebruary my grandmother passed
away.
So it's like my hormones are outof whack.
I'm tired, I'm emotionallydrained.
Things just don't seem to begoing well.
Like his paycheck was supposedto come.
His paycheck never came.
So not only am I sleep deprived, I've got to hustle in my
(08:32):
business and figure out how Ican get all these bills paid
without even being able to talkto my husband.
His side of the family wasgiving me crap and treating me
like crap, and I was just like Idon't know how much more of
this I can take.
And I just remember sitting inthe bathroom.
I probably sat in the bathroomfor about three hours straight.
(08:53):
I locked myself in the bathroom.
I had the baby I had theyoungest baby in there with me.
I had Aiden in there with meand then my older kids were just
like I don't know whether theywere in my room or in the
hallway or what, but like theywere crying at the door crying
for me and I was on the otherside of the door crying for me
too, because I'm like I needhelp and like there's nobody I
(09:15):
feel like can really help me.
You know through what I'm goingthrough right now or really
will even just take the time tosay you know it's OK.
So I held that in.
I have never told anybody thatstory.
So y'all are getting literallythe, you know, the real and raw.
Even my husband, my husband,has no idea about that because
even with him being gone, likehe's sacrificing, he's doing
(09:38):
everything he can to make surethat, you know, me and the
babies that we keep having haveeverything that we need.
So you know, when I do get totalk to him for the 10 minutes,
I don't want to bog him down,you know, with all the sad
stories, but it's funny.
You know that I just talkedabout that because you know
we've been intentional in ourmarriage here lately doing date
(10:02):
nights weekly, whether we can goout or not, and we went through
those letters, the ones he sentme, the ones I sent him, and we
, like read them back and forthto each other and like the
flashbacks and the things I wastelling him brought back so many
memories and like I was justcrying, he was like, are you
(10:23):
okay?
Like I don't think we should dothis and I'm like no, like I
need you to understand.
Like this is what I was goingthrough while you were gone,
like I didn't want to tell youwhile you were, you know,
fighting, and you, you know yougot to focus on what, like so
(10:43):
many factors to that alone isone thing.
And then to be the sole parent,the sole, you know, responsible
guardian for everybody andeverything in this household was
like this is the hardest timeperiod of my adult life, like
ever, that's the hardest thingI've ever been through.
Sorry for the long answer, butlike that just just pulled it
all the way back out for me.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
So, really quick, I just want to hop in.
You know I definitely canrelate.
You know it is so funny.
We're all military affiliated.
You know we're mothers and oneof my you know similarities to
you, ari, is that, you know,giannis was six or seven months
(11:30):
when my husband, when he wassent off to Korea.
He was stationed in Korea andwe had to stay here.
Giannis couldn't get the shotsand so pretty much I'm dealing
with being a new mother.
I'm dealing with my husbandleaving and a whole nother
country, you know.
(11:52):
So you know, and I'm just likeI don't know how I'm gonna do
this, like I didn't understandhow I could do it.
So you know, I remember tellingyou guys.
You know it's so funny that wecan relate in that way.
You know how I sat in thebathroom and I cried.
And I cried because I'm justlike how am I doing this?
Like I don't understand howsomebody is depending on me to
(12:13):
take care of them, and I justcould not wrap my head around
that.
I'm just like you know, we'vetalked about this.
You know, off air, but theyreally just throw babies on us
and be like go about yourbusiness.
Here you go, good luck, I hopethey live.
So it's just like nobody givesus a rule book and there's no.
(12:35):
There's no rule book toparenting.
No child is the same, everybody, everything is just different.
It's just crazy.
So, ivy, I don't know, likewhat do you think?
No-transcript.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Honestly, like I said , the first one was really hard
because, like you said, beingoverseas that's already another
challenge and not having supportand everything like that.
But with this pregnancy andwith giving birth to Everly, I
feel like my postpartum has beengoing very well, which I had a
C-section for both of them.
I feel like that recovery wassomething that, yeah, it's
(13:15):
pretty rough, pretty rough, sothat's probably one thing that
did get me down or whatnot.
But I feel like, overall, Ikind of have a different
perspective and I can kind ofgauge things differently.
We got to give ourselves graceas mothers and I'm really glad
that you guys are able to, youknow, express yourself, because
we all need to have a safe space.
And I can kind of relate to whatAri was saying.
(13:37):
What she was saying, like youdon't want to put stuff on
others because, like, you'llmask so many things, like
someone saying, how are youdoing?
Oh, I'm doing good, I'm doinggood, like I do that a lot too,
and I feel like we just like wekeep it in, just like to the
point where we explode andthat's you said you don't want
to put everything you got goingon somebody else or be that
(13:58):
person to let you know, feellike a burden.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
But it's nice to have friends that understand
everything you go through so youcan kind of feel more free to
express yourself.
I definitely agree it is goodto have people around.
I think the most importantfactor of dealing with
postpartum is the person thatyou're creating that life with
right.
So you know you want thatsupport from your spouse or your
mate, whoever you're with.
You know you don't even have tobe married, but the person that
you laid down and had that babywith you want them to support
(14:32):
you because at the end of theday, that's the support that you
want.
You can have all the familysupport that you can have.
But if that person that you satthere and y'all didn't concede
and you know, gave this life,you know if they're not being
that support system for you, Ithink it just makes life so much
harder.
It makes you know being firstof all a parent just so much
harder.
So I commend the single mothersout there that don't have that.
(14:56):
That you know.
Or something happened and theyended up getting pregnant.
Now they're raising this babyby themselves, like it's just so
many different factors thatcomes in with you know, being
postpartum depressed, you know.
So having that on top of that,that's rough and I can't even
imagine it, and I justdefinitely commend anybody
(15:17):
that's going through it, becauseit's not easy with two people,
let alone one.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I'm glad you said that, because this postpartum
journey has been likedrastically different for me.
My husband has always had a jobthat he's like away, either at
night or just away period.
He was a truck driver.
So you know he was gone forweeks and weeks and weeks at a
time and it just seems likeevery time I had a baby there
(15:43):
was something else that hewanted to do.
And this go around, you know,with him being in the military,
he got his paternity leave, sohe was home for three months and
my mom always comes and helpsfor a little while.
So my mom came for six weeksand then his mom was able to
come for six weeks.
So that definitely helped.
(16:03):
But I was prepared, you know,just full-blown mommy mode, you
know, and I thought you know hewas just gonna sit in the
background but he really steppedup like shout out to my man.
(16:28):
You know just gloat a littlebit, but I mean like he was up
in the middle of the nightfixing bottles, changing pampers
, helping me make sure my pumpparts were clean.
You know, bottles, changingpampers, helping me make sure my
pump parts were clean.
You know, bagging milk, writingdates, taking the bigger kids
to school, taking the boys tothe park, like he was really
really doing everything that alife partner should do, and
(16:49):
we've been sticking it out andI'm really grateful that, you
know he stepped up to help me.
You know he very much could havesaid oh, you know, I'm at work
Like I don't have nothing to do.
You know what I'm saying, I'mgood, I can just chill.
But he didn't and he checked onme emotionally, which I was
very grateful for because youknow, when you have a baby,
(17:11):
sometimes people are just allabout the baby.
How's the baby, where's thebaby?
Oh, my God, baby's so cute.
What?
Meanwhile?
Mommy is drowning.
But it's all about the baby.
And so he really made sure liketo check on me.
How are you, how are youfeeling, are you okay, do you
need a break?
And even still, he would belike you've pumped enough milk,
there's enough bottles in therefrigerator, Like go few hours.
(17:42):
And we would take shift.
You know he would do themorning shift because I'm not a
morning person and I would dothe night shift and it's just,
it's really been a blessing tohave experienced the worst side
you know to be grateful for thebest side girl that right there,
that's tea.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Like seriously, because you said you know he's
off work.
He could have been like, hey,I'm off work.
It is very important that wehave somebody by our side while
we're going through this.
It is very important to havelike a supportive partner, a
friend or anybody.
And, like you say, peoplealways say how's the baby doing?
Like a lot of people don'tcheck in really with how the
(18:11):
mother's doing and of courseoftentimes we all say, yeah,
we're doing good, we're doingfine.
You know, just going back to nottelling people how shit really
is, but yeah, that's good.
I'm glad your husband, you knowyou guys are able to take
shifts and everything.
I feel like that's something.
I should incorporate it becauseI feel like for me I don't know
what the whole breastfeedingthing.
You know this is my second timearound, I'm still learning a
few things, but I'm like, hey,you take care of Madison, I'll
(18:35):
take care of Everly, because Iknow she's going to want the
boob 24-7.
But we're still like during theday we still kind of do half
and half once Madison's atdaycare.
So, yeah, it's something thatwe're kind of navigating as well
.
But yeah, that is really nice.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I'm glad you said like being grateful for, like,
the good times, because you wentthrough all that stuff, you
know, and it just makes thingsso much better.
So that's good, girl.
I think everything is not foreverybody, so what may work for
Ari may not work for you, Ivy.
You know y'all may have asystem where you know you got
one child and he got one childand that's okay.
You know, sometimes that is away of tag teaming it.
(19:21):
That's not saying that it'swrong, and I think that you're
doing it the best way that youknow how.
So I definitely commend you foreven, first of all, even
allowing him to even have onechild.
But you know, as mothers wewant to take over everything, so
we want to be on every child.
You can't do this, you can't dothat.
So you know you even allowingthat space for him to step in
(19:42):
and help and him even wanting todo that and helping you with
that, Like y'all got a systemand if it works for you, it
works for you.
So kudos Okay.
So I know we got some mamas onhere that you know, like Ari,
you're at home.
You know, Ivy, you have to goback to work and with my second
child, Willow, I had to go backto work.
(20:04):
So it was a differentexperience from my first child,
Giannis, but it was hard becausewe had bills coming.
Okay, my husband had just gotout the military and it was
rough on him trying to get backinto civilian life and he
eventually did, but it was hard.
So I was carrying a lot of theweight.
(20:25):
So by the time I had Willow Ididn't have like any downtime.
She had six weeks to get ittogether and she had to go to
daycare and I had to go back towork and so I'm working this new
job.
I'm so stressed out I mean, myjob was so stressful y'all Like
(20:45):
I don't even know how I did it.
I have no idea how I did it, butI got through it and I was on a
type of situation where I wason contract, you know, and it
was like contract to hire and Ididn't know if I was going to
get hired because I would cometo work every single day, crying
, depressed, like notunderstanding, like it's only
temporary, and I think that'swhat we have to realize when it
(21:08):
comes to the postpartum, youknow, depression side of it.
It's temporary, but what you doin those moments and how you
handle it and how you navigateit, that's what's going to get
you out of it.
It's temporary, but what you doin those moments and how you
handle it and how you navigateit, that's what's going to get
you out of it.
Like you know, crying, screaming, whatever it takes for you to
get out of it you know you haveto get out of it because one
(21:30):
thing about it the devil, be sobusy in that postpartum, it'll
have you thinking the mostcraziest things Like you're not
worthy, Like nobody loves me,this baby don't love me, I don't
love this baby.
Like it's just so manydifferent things and your mind
just spins and it goes on and on, and so you have to get out of
it.
And so I just I really want totalk about some things that
(21:52):
we've done to kind of digourselves out of that hole.
Well, I would say, for one.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
we lose ourselves when we become mothers, like in
our minds we're focusing so muchon our children and not
focusing on ourselves.
So I feel like a good thing islike trying to find hobbies,
trying to find what you like,you know, trying to get in
routine, trying to get myselfback to where well, not back to
where I was, but better thanwhat I was before I gave birth.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
So for me, honestly, truly, in this postpartum
journey as well, it's hard tolet go as mothers because, you
know, we just want to doeverything.
I didn't realize howcontrolling I was until you know
, I was like I can do this, likelet me do this, and I'm just
like no, because you're going todo it wrong and I want it done
a specific way.
And he's like can I ask you aquestion?
(22:41):
And I'm not being funny.
And I was like, yeah, I meanyeah, he's like, but is it
getting done?
And I was like, hey, you knowwhat I'm saying.
Like he's literally trying totake all the stress factors out
and I'm overstressing them.
He's like I did it, it's done,we're both still alive.
Like let it happen.
(23:02):
But for me, honestly, truly, Ibelieve in affirmations.
You know I'm heavy in my faith.
So you know, of course I readmy Bible, I pray, I'm really big
on you know, being your biggestmotivator, because sometimes I
realized in that season of mylife I didn't have anybody that
was going to motivate me.
(23:23):
Like I was going to motivate me, so like I would choose
scriptures.
Like you know, I am more than aconqueror.
Like greater is he that is inme, that's in the world.
Like I can do all thingsthrough Christ, who strengthens
me.
Like I have this joy.
The world didn and give it tome.
The world can't take it away.
You know what I'm saying.
Like literally repeating,drilling happiness into my head.
(23:44):
Like choosing happiness, wakingup in the morning and sometimes
just saying today I'm going tobe happy, today I choose to be
happy.
You know what I'm saying.
Like affirmations is whatreally really helped me.
Like repetitiveness, like itworks in children and education,
it will work for you inadulthood.
And positivity and success.
Like whatever you needed to do,whatever you repeat and you
(24:06):
claim over yourself like thereis power in your tongue and in
your words.
So you have to speak overyourself.
So affirmations I will alwaysrecommend for any situation,
positive or negative.
You know if you need morepositivity, you speak positive
thoughts.
You need to get out ofnegativity, you speak positive
thoughts.
So for me that was a number one.
Like I had sticky noteseverywhere on my mirror, on the
(24:29):
walls, on the refrigerator, onmy calendar.
You know I had positive quoteson the lock screen of my phone.
Sometimes I would just write acute little quote on the mirror
you are enough, you are worthy.
You know, like literally justreminders, everywhere I turn,
even in the car, in my visor,like everywhere I go, like I'm
(24:52):
reminded that I am.
You know who I want to be, I amwho I say I am.
So those are things that really, really, really helped me, like
I had to you know how they sayfake it till you make it.
I had to speak it until thosethings came into fruition, until
my happiness was there, until Igenuinely felt like the words
(25:16):
that I was speaking.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yes girl, you got me feeling like I'm in church, but
that is good.
I'm glad you said that.
But, like you know, repeatingthose words over and over really
makes a difference, because wegot to get ourselves out of
those mind traps Like we can getcaught up until, like having a
negative perspective on things,like waking up and like I'm
gonna be tired.
Today I'm gonna do this, likeyou.
Just having like so many badthoughts in your mind, it takes
(25:37):
over your body and just makesyou know make sure they go back.
So I feel like, for me at least, I'm like you know I'm gonna be
tired, it is what it is, butI'm going to have a good day.
I'm going to go on a walk.
I'm going to do this Like Ilook forward to.
You know things like before,when I used to go to therapy.
I had all these bad thoughtsand all these bad things and I
(25:59):
just couldn't get out of thosethings.
So I started writing stuff downtoo.
You know, doing little thingsthat can help.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
And that's with anything, not just with
postpartum, that's just life ingeneral.
You have to speak things overyour life.
If you're speaking negatively,negative things are going to
happen.
If you want positivity to comeyour way, you have to be
positive and that's just the keyfactor of I mean, in my opinion
(26:30):
, that's the key factor ofgetting over postpartum
depression.
That's the key factor ofgetting out of a dark place,
because it can take you to avery dark place.
I mean, we've seen where peoplehave gotten so deep into you
know their depression afterhaving a baby and we've seen
what things can come of.
That you know and that verywell may be that you know those
(26:52):
dark thoughts took over.
So anybody that I know and evenif I don't know you like, I
don't ever want anybody to feellike that that dark place is all
it is.
It's so much more life beyondthat for you and that baby and
your family and you know itcould really take you to a dark
(27:15):
place.
I know we keep saying it, buty'all like, if you are
experiencing it, get help, gethelp, talk about it.
You know, I know Ari mentionedwhen she had experienced her
depression.
She kept it in and she didn'ttalk about it because she didn't
want to burden anybody else.
But I want people to talk to meabout it, like I want you to
(27:37):
say something about it.
I want you to burden me.
You need those people in yourlife, you need that circle.
You know you don't want peoplethat's around you, that's just
like you know you say, oh, I'mokay, and they'd be like, okay
girl, like no, like I knowyou're not okay.
I want you to talk to me aboutit.
That's what I'm here for,that's what the people that are
in your circle, that's whatthey're there for.
(27:58):
So if you don't have peoplelike that that you can go and
talk to when it's a problem,then that's a problem.
So switch up your circle.
You know what I mean.
And if you are that person thatfeels like you know you want to
keep it in and you don't want totalk to nobody about it, then
honestly that's a you problem.
You don't give people theopportunity to be there.
You know you have to givepeople that space to say, hey,
(28:22):
I'm here for you, I got you, I'mlistening.
You know, whatever it is, theymay not be able to solve your
problem, but being able to bethat open ear, just sitting in a
room and y'all just chillingand crying together, like
sometimes it's all you need.
You know, sometimes you don'tneed answers because nobody has
the answer, but God.
(28:43):
That's the only person that hasthe answer for you.
Like 99% of the time that'swhat you need.
So I pray that if you have thatcircle, that you keep that
circle and you allow them to bewhat they want to be.
And if you don't have that, youknow I'm sorry and I hope you
(29:04):
find it, because it is soprecious.
It's so precious to have it.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I want to touch on something you just mentioned
having people in your circlethat you can talk to, and if you
feel like you can't talk tothem, you shouldn't have them in
your circle, and you said it'sa you problem.
I feel like, for me, I havepeople that I can talk to about
numerous things, but I feel like, for some reason, I don't allow
myself to get vulnerable whenit comes to certain things.
I feel like I'm a very privateperson, but then I'm not private
(29:32):
, like I'm very I'm an open book, but then again I don't really
tell people a lot of things.
I don't know.
I feel like that kind of stemsfrom childhood, obviously and
I'm not trying to go off topicbut I feel like I just don't
have like that trust and youknow, I just kind of just keep
everything to myself, which isnot healthy.
So I feel like I do have peoplein my corner, you know, that
(29:55):
say, hey, how are you reallyfeeling?
Like you know I have someonehere that says, hey, how are you
really feeling, girl?
You know I'm able to expressmyself Once someone asks me.
I feel like you have to ask theright question for somebody to
really open up Because, like,once someone asks me, I feel
like you have to ask the rightquestion for somebody to really
open up because, like oftentimes, someone says, hey, I'm good,
I'm good.
Ok, she says she's good, that'sit.
But yeah, I feel like thatreally does make a difference.
When you have people that arehere to listen, that you know
(30:18):
may not be able to solve yourproblems but they're just
listening to you, that canreally help that person feel a
lot better to come out andexpress themselves.
But another thing how do youguys feel about you know giving
ourselves grace when it comes tothe postpartum body, and you
know all the changes that we gothrough.
How do you guys feel about that?
(30:38):
Because I feel like we oftenlike for me at least, I'm like
dang this girl first saw me flatafter three days after getting
out the hospital and sometimesI'm setting unrealistic goals
for myself, obviously, since Ihad a C-section, so it's totally
different for me.
But I feel like I keep thinkingto myself oh, I need to get
back like this small, do this.
But it's like you're a mom now,like you know, I have to give
(31:02):
myself grace, I have to stopbeing so hard on myself.
How do you guys feel about that?
Speaker 2 (31:07):
myself grace.
I have to stop being so hard onmyself.
How do you guys feel about that?
So before I answer yourquestion, I want to touch back
really quick because, justspeaking about circles, one of
my spiritual mentors said someof your circles are making you
dizzy.
It's time to change the shape.
So I would rather have atriangle of three good people
than a circle of 15 people whodon't mean me no good.
(31:27):
You know what I'm saying.
And for you, know all the mamasout there who are listening.
If you have a friend who's goingthrough postpartum, who just
had a baby, or they are about to, and you know, you yourself
experienced some things likeonly we mothers experience, like
hold yourself accountable andcheck in on them, like just you
know, call if there's a, youknow if you can send them lunch
(31:49):
or like just little things tosay.
You know you're not alone.
I'm thinking about you.
And you know, for those youknow who don't have family
around or who didn't grow up ina close-knit family or you don't
have a lot of close friends,find your circle, create your
own circle.
I, as a military mom and spousenow being states away from my
(32:10):
family, have had to use myresources.
Like there are some peoplethrough social media, like
through what do you call thegroups I'm going to say therapy
groups, for lack of better words.
You know the different meetingsthat they have at the hospitals
or clinics and stuff.
Find your resources.
Do not bottle that stuff upLike did I do that?
(32:32):
Yes, but I had no idea aboutthe stuff that was available to
me so that I could help myself.
So don't sit and don't wallowin it because, like, you can get
help, you deserve it and sodoes that life that you just
brought into the world.
Like they deserve the bestversion of you and you deserve
to be the best version of you.
(32:52):
And talking about body imageafter having a baby, like let's
be very honest each other and weknow, like what we've gone
through, like the recoveryprocess, like you said, after
having a c-section, not only areyou having pain, like in your
stomach I don't know if you guyshave had like some people get
(33:15):
infections from their incisions,or their incisions bleed or
whatever.
And then, of course, you knowyou have the womanly things that
go on.
Like we're all grown.
You know you're bleedingyourself for like two to three
weeks, like it's horrible.
So, like the expectation thatsociety has created.
Like, oh girl, you're supposedto be back in the street next
week.
What are you doing?
We need you to be a baddie?
(33:36):
Like it's just unreal.
You know, and I've always been,you know, a thicker woman anyway
.
So being you know thick andthen having the extra baby
weight is like oh my gosh, likeI feel like a beach whale, like
let's just be honest, you knowwe are our worst critics.
And then you, you know, afterhowever many months two, three
(33:59):
months you know you're finallyable to go out.
And then people like, oh my God, you're glowing, your skin
looks good.
Oh, you look so good afterhaving that baby.
And you're like, okay, you know, maybe I do look, you know, a
little better than than I'mallowing myself to.
I'm telling you this time around, this is my last and final
postpartum journey.
(34:19):
Pk, this is my last one, but no, seriously.
I have just said Um, but no,seriously.
I have just said who cares?
Like I got on clothes, I'mdressed, I feel comfortable in
my own skin, I know what I'mdealing with.
Who cares?
Who cares Like the people who,who make comments about your
body image or you know, yourhair or anything pertaining to
(34:42):
your child, like they're notgoing to make sure you eat,
they're not going to make sureyour baby eats, they're not
going to pay your bills, okay.
So I'm not going to sit andwaste time about what they truly
think about me, like as long asthe man I married to says hey,
girl, you look good today.
I won Period.
That's what it is for me.
What about you, TK?
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yeah, definitely, like everything that you said
was completely accurate.
I think for me it's opposite,because I've always been a
smaller girl and when I getpregnant I get thick, okay, so
and so for me, like I want tokeep that weight.
(35:23):
I feel like that's the bestI've ever seen myself, it's my
goal weight, whereas when I'mnot pregnant, you know I'm
smaller and I'm so insecureabout you know myself, and a lot
of people don't know that youknow, they think, because you
know I'm small and I have apetite size, that I should be
(35:44):
happy or I should be satisfiedwith the way I look.
Or, girl, you can wear this,you can wear that, but to you I
can wear this, to you I can wearthat, not to me.
Until I believe that I am.
You know what you, what youthink I am, I.
It doesn't matter what you say,you know what I mean.
So it just matters about what Isee in that mirror.
(36:05):
And you know, after I have mybaby, like I just feel like
that's like the weight that Iwant to keep.
But you know it don't happenfor me.
I'm not.
I'm not meant to be thick, likeit's just not for me, I'm just
meant to be small.
So you know it's, it'sdepressing, like as soon as I
lose that weight and it don'ttake me long Like I felt like if
(36:25):
I would have stayed in the gymwith well, let me take that back
, because I feel like if I wouldhave went to the gym I would
have kept the weight.
If I would have kept doingprotein I would have kept the
weight.
And you know, we think that way.
We're like if we would have didthis and we would have did that
or whatever the case is.
But you know, you just have tolove who you are and it's just
(36:47):
that's just what it is.
And you know, for me, I have towork to get my weight.
You know, I know a lot ofpeople have to work to get it
off, but I have to work to getit.
And when I see, you know,people on my end, I'm just like
complaining about, like gaining20 pounds.
I'm like, oh girl, I wish Icould take it from you, but I
can't and that's not what I'msupposed to be.
(37:08):
So you know, after pregnancy,for me that weight is everything
.
What about you, ivy?
Speaker 3 (37:15):
yeah, I feel like that too.
You know, we've always beensuper skinny girls.
So I feel like you know peoplelike you guys are so skinny, our
whole lives been critiqued butnot realizing we have, you know,
problems with that as well.
Like we have problems where youknow, like you say, when you're
pregnant, like you love thatweight.
Like for me, I'm like, damn,I'm gaining weight.
I do look thick, like I lookslim thick, like now I feel like
I have the perfect weight.
(37:36):
I just lose my stomach.
So like I feel good because I'mlike, damn, I got a little bit,
but I got a little bit of hips.
Like I feel like it's kind ofkind of weird, it's a weird
journey, for sure.
But yeah, we just, like Ari,said, hey, whatever, as long as
my man think I look good, I lookgood.
And women are so cruel, we'realways like why she look like
(37:56):
that, why she look like that,like when they're also mothers
too, so they should understandeverything we're going through
as well.
But yeah, I feel like I need totake that into consideration.
Like, hey, sometimes you're notgoing to just bounce back how
you were before and that's okay.
So, definitely, ladies outthere, give yourself grace, give
yourself grace.
I say this a lot and I don'teven give myself grace, but I
(38:18):
feel like now I'm kind ofgetting into the headspace where
I'm like, hey, you have twokids now, two different
pregnancies.
Your body changes so many times, but overall I'm healthy, the
baby's healthy, we're all happy.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Like that's all I need yeah, thank you guys so
much for sharing that.
First of all, it's not easy totalk about our weight in general
.
So talking about like how youfelt, like after giving birth to
your babies definitely Iappreciate the vulnerability,
because it's not easy to talkabout For me.
I want us all to share onething that you will want to tell
(39:00):
.
I mean, if you want to say morethan one, but what is the most
important thing that you wouldtell a new mother?
Speaker 3 (39:10):
I would say do not be afraid to ask for help.
We should not be drowning whenwe have people that are willing
to help.
You know we have supportsystems, so let's use those
support systems.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
For me, I'm always going to say take care of you.
You cannot pour from an emptycup.
Like when you go to the grocerystore.
You expect it to be plenty ofstuff for you to choose from,
right, like it's.
They have to restock thoseshelves.
You got to restock your shelves.
So whatever that looks like foryou, whether that's you know a
15 minute shower or you know 15minutes of meditation, just
(39:44):
quiet time.
Light a candle, whatever youneed to do to make sure that you
are okay, fill your cup.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, that's good.
Like both of those things aredead on.
For me, I would say pick thatbaby up, love on that baby.
People will tell you oh, you'regoing to be swallowing the baby
, don't hold that baby so much.
That's your baby, love yourbaby.
(40:14):
Well, don't let people tell youyou know you're over loving
your baby.
What is over loving your baby?
What is that like?
Stop allowing people to feedthat.
To me, that is just such a and Ihate to say it, but it's just
such a black thing it really is.
We have that bad like tellingpeople you know not to pick up
(40:37):
our babies, not to spoil ourbabies, and you know, love that
baby, love that baby.
That baby needs your love.
Pick that baby up.
So that love, pick that baby up.
So that's, that's one thingthat I want to say.
Um, don't let nobody tell younot to hold your baby, because
you sat in labor with that baby,you gave birth to that baby,
you went through nine monthspregnant probably longer than
(40:59):
that with that baby.
Like nobody knows what you wentthrough to get that baby here.
So fuck what they telling you?
Speaker 2 (41:11):
As always, it has been a great conversation with
you, ladies.
We hope that what we've sharedwill encourage you to.
If you are thinking abouthaving kids, we hope it'll help
you embrace your postpartumjourney.
If you're currently on yourpostpartum journey, we hope that
it will help you go seek andfind the help and the love and
(41:32):
the community that you deserveto be the best version of you,
for not only yourself and yourbaby.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
And guys, I just wanted to give you some closing
remarks.
I'm so proud of us.
I'm so proud of us for, firstof all, getting to our second
episode.
It has been so hard.
I'm proud of Ari, I'm proud ofIvy.
I didn't have a baby justrecently and I ain't having
another one no time soon or everagain, but I know how hard it
(42:03):
is to just get back into themotion.
So I'm thankful that you guyswanted to continue on this
journey with me, because I was alittle concerned.
But we made it to episode two.
Yay, we did it, and it was noteasy.
So thank you, guys so much.
I want to just pretty much justgive you a resource for
(42:27):
postpartum support international.
So there is a helpline that youcan call if you're feeling like
you just need to talk tosomebody and you can't.
You don't have anybody in yourcircle, because I know we talked
about that earlier.
So if you feel like you don'thave anybody, there's always
somebody, even if they're notaround you, and that number is
going to be 1-800-944-4773.
(42:51):
That's 1-800-944-4773.
All right, did you guys want tosay anything else before we get
off?
Speaker 3 (43:01):
I would like to say for all the mothers out there
keep doing what you're doing, tosay for all the mothers out
there, keep doing what you'redoing, you know, don't give up
and just be blessed.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
All right, mamas, we're signing off.
Bye, hey.
Thank you for listening.
If you would like to stayconnected to us, be sure to
follow us on instagram at theunderscore chronicles melanin.
Also, feel free to give us somefeedback on more topics you'd
like to discuss on motherhood.
We really would appreciate itif you would review and follow
(43:34):
us on wherever you listen toyour podcasts.
Bye, mamas.
Hi Mamas, welcome to the Chronicles of Melanin Mamas.
We created this podcast, threeMamas Coming Together to create
a safe space for hot, humble,open and transparent
conversations around how ourpast and present has affected
the way we do motherhood.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hey Mamas, it has been a minute.
Oh mamas, it has been a minute.
Oh my gosh, we are so excitedto be back.
Listen, it's been so long thatboth Ivy and I have both given
birth to our newest additions.
Yes, and I think it's so ontime.
This episode is about postpartumdepression.
Every mom period goes throughthat postpartum phase.
(00:46):
You know whether you've givenbirth to children, whether
you've had, you know, stillbirthor miscarriage, whatever your
journey is, postpartum looksdifferent for us all.
So tonight we're going to jumpin and really just dive into all
of our experiences with eachpregnancy, because we've all had
multiple pregnancies and eachpregnancy is different.
Personally, I know that formyself, I've had six pregnancies
(01:11):
.
I have five living children andI only remember having like
real postpartum depression inone of those journeys, and it
could have been a culmination ofthings, because my husband went
to basic training during thisparticular postpartum experience
(01:31):
and it was just really, reallyheavy on me.
So, ivy or TK, have you guysexperienced postpartum
depression with all of yourpregnancies?
With one of your pregnancies,what did you guys' journey look
like with all of your?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
pregnancies.
With one of your pregnancies,what did you guys' journey look
like?
So, for me at least, I feellike my first pregnancy yes, I
did, you know it wasoverwhelming for sure.
But with this one I feel like Ikind of know what to expect.
So I guess I won't let myselfget down.
In a sense, I feel like I'madjusting a lot better and also
I have more support over there.
I and also I have more supportover there.
(02:08):
I didn't really have supportlike being overseas, but now I'm
here, I have family that comesby and see me, friends and
everything like that.
So I feel like I haven't hitthat and hopefully I don't get
postpartum depression.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, so for me I definitely experienced it with
both kids, with Giannis.
So my husband at the time wasin the military and we didn't
have family around Obviously.
You know, my parents came downthere for a couple of weeks
after I gave.
I don't even think it was acouple of weeks, I think it was
(02:35):
just maybe for a few days.
They came down there and whenmy mom came down and she stayed
for a little bit and after thatit was just kind of like it was
just us on our own and I thinkmy depression with Giannis was
so bad.
One night I remember him wakingup and I know y'all like oh my
(02:56):
God, like don't let your babysleep in the bed.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blahListen y'all, when you are tired
, you just gave birth.
You waking up in the middle ofthe night, like all that stuff
goes out the window.
So yes, giannis did sleep inthe bed with us for a little bit
(03:20):
and he did have his separate,you know, you know bed, but for
the most part he slept in thebed with us and you know we were
very cautious about it.
But he woke up one night and Iwas like very tired.
He basically hit his headagainst the headboard.
I looked at him and I went backto sleep.
So I was very much not thereand honestly it sounds bad, but
(03:44):
to be honest, I didn't even care.
He had hit his head.
That's how depressed I was, um,and just detached from you know
, from honestly justunderstanding like who I was and
that I, you know that this,this little baby, just hurt us.
That's crazy.
Right like I, he literally hitthe hell out of his head.
I looked at him and I just wentright back to sleep and I was
(04:06):
just like whatever, like it wasjust like it was like whatever.
So that was with Giannis.
With Willow it was a little bitdifferent because, you know, my
husband and I's situation wasrough.
You know we were going throughour marriage issues and so it
(04:26):
did make just being a secondtime mom a lot harder.
I don't even think that Ireally was attached to Willow
until Willow was in my stomach.
I think she was like, I think Iwas like six months.
I didn't go to the doctor untilI was six months with Willow
because I didn't believe that Iwas pregnant with her.
(04:46):
I was in denial, I knew I waspregnant but I just didn't.
I didn't want to believe that Iwas, and so when she came out,
it wasn't like a deep, deepdepression, but I did feel
myself.
You know not being TK, so, yeah, it wasn't as bad as Gianna's,
but I definitely experienced it.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
You know what I really commend you by telling
your story about.
You know the dark truths ofstuff, because a lot of people
don't want to say.
You know, tell the truth aboutpostpartum depression.
Like people become suicidal,homicidal.
Like there's a lot of thingsyou know, you think about and,
like we said with your kid orwhatnot, like, um, you didn't
care about him in his head, likeyou just were not intact with
(05:28):
reality, like, and you know it'ssomething that you can't really
control at the moment.
So, um, yeah, I mean it maysound bad, but that's just the
truth of it.
I feel like a lot of peoplethat don't go through it
probably won't really understandit.
So, yeah, yeah, that'sdefinitely something, um, a lot
of mothers probably do face andthey don't feel comfortable
talking to people becausethey're afraid, oh, their child
(05:50):
might get taken away or whatnot.
So, yeah, that's good.
You shared that with us andeverybody else?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
yeah, definitely it.
You know you get afraid of likethe judgment part of it.
Um, and I know Ari, I mean youhave, you know, five kiddos, so
I can only imagine like howdifferent each time was for you.
I know that you know, justbecause we, you know we
experience postpartum, that doesnot mean that we're depressed,
(06:18):
but from your side, like whatwas like your worst moment in
postpartum.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So before I jump into that, I just want to like put
it into perspective.
For some people especially anyof the you know male species who
may be listening, and everyother, like sickness or chemical
imbalance, like you go througha recovery period.
Postpartum is that recoveryperiod, like they literally call
it, a chemical imbalance.
It takes up to a year for yourhormones to even regulate.
(06:46):
So not only do you not know whoyou are, you know in that
process your body doesn't evenknow.
You know, like what's going on.
It's going haywire.
It's trying to pull stuff backinto perspective.
For me, probably, like I said,the brunt of my postpartum
depression was after I had myfifth baby, my fifth pregnancy,
(07:09):
I should say.
And, like I said, my husbandwas at basic training.
That's the longest time I hadever been out of contact with
him, the longest I'd gonewithout seeing him, you know.
And I wasn't in a space where Ireally wanted to let anybody
else inside of what I was goingthrough.
(07:29):
I masked a lot of stuff.
I'm a person who cares a lotabout other people's feelings
you know, not their opinions andwhat they think about me.
But just like I don't want tobog anybody else down with my
issues and what I'm goingthrough.
So I tend to, you know, justkeep it all inside until I can't
anymore.
(07:50):
And it was kind of like thatsituation.
I just felt like stuff waspiling up.
Aiden was born in December, sohe was born December 1st.
I lost my first son in January,so Almond left for basic
training on the 3rd of January.
The anniversary of my son'sdeath was on the 10th of January
(08:12):
, and then on the 8th ofFebruary my grandmother passed
away.
So it's like my hormones are outof whack.
I'm tired, I'm emotionallydrained.
Things just don't seem to begoing well.
Like his paycheck was supposedto come.
His paycheck never came.
So not only am I sleep deprived, I've got to hustle in my
(08:32):
business and figure out how Ican get all these bills paid
without even being able to talkto my husband.
His side of the family wasgiving me crap and treating me
like crap, and I was just like Idon't know how much more of
this I can take.
And I just remember sitting inthe bathroom.
I probably sat in the bathroomfor about three hours straight.
(08:53):
I locked myself in the bathroom.
I had the baby I had theyoungest baby in there with me.
I had Aiden in there with meand then my older kids were just
like I don't know whether theywere in my room or in the
hallway or what, but like theywere crying at the door crying
for me and I was on the otherside of the door crying for me
too, because I'm like I needhelp and like there's nobody I
(09:15):
feel like can really help me.
You know through what I'm goingthrough right now or really
will even just take the time tosay you know it's OK.
So I held that in.
I have never told anybody thatstory.
So y'all are getting literallythe, you know, the real and raw.
Even my husband, my husband,has no idea about that because
even with him being gone, likehe's sacrificing, he's doing
(09:38):
everything he can to make surethat, you know, me and the
babies that we keep having haveeverything that we need.
So you know, when I do get totalk to him for the 10 minutes,
I don't want to bog him down,you know, with all the sad
stories, but it's funny.
You know that I just talkedabout that because you know
we've been intentional in ourmarriage here lately doing date
(10:02):
nights weekly, whether we can goout or not, and we went through
those letters, the ones he sentme, the ones I sent him, and we
, like read them back and forthto each other and like the
flashbacks and the things I wastelling him brought back so many
memories and like I was justcrying, he was like, are you
(10:23):
okay?
Like I don't think we should dothis and I'm like no, like I
need you to understand.
Like this is what I was goingthrough while you were gone,
like I didn't want to tell youwhile you were, you know,
fighting, and you, you know yougot to focus on what, like so
(10:43):
many factors to that alone isone thing.
And then to be the sole parent,the sole, you know, responsible
guardian for everybody andeverything in this household was
like this is the hardest timeperiod of my adult life, like
ever, that's the hardest thingI've ever been through.
Sorry for the long answer, butlike that just just pulled it
all the way back out for me.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
So, really quick, I just want to hop in.
You know I definitely canrelate.
You know it is so funny.
We're all military affiliated.
You know we're mothers and oneof my you know similarities to
you, ari, is that, you know,giannis was six or seven months
(11:30):
when my husband, when he wassent off to Korea.
He was stationed in Korea andwe had to stay here.
Giannis couldn't get the shotsand so pretty much I'm dealing
with being a new mother.
I'm dealing with my husbandleaving and a whole nother
country, you know.
(11:52):
So you know, and I'm just likeI don't know how I'm gonna do
this, like I didn't understandhow I could do it.
So you know, I remember tellingyou guys.
You know it's so funny that wecan relate in that way.
You know how I sat in thebathroom and I cried.
And I cried because I'm justlike how am I doing this?
Like I don't understand howsomebody is depending on me to
(12:13):
take care of them, and I justcould not wrap my head around
that.
I'm just like you know, we'vetalked about this.
You know, off air, but theyreally just throw babies on us
and be like go about yourbusiness.
Here you go, good luck, I hopethey live.
So it's just like nobody givesus a rule book and there's no.
(12:35):
There's no rule book toparenting.
No child is the same, everybody, everything is just different.
It's just crazy.
So, ivy, I don't know, likewhat do you think?
No-transcript.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Honestly, like I said , the first one was really hard
because, like you said, beingoverseas that's already another
challenge and not having supportand everything like that.
But with this pregnancy andwith giving birth to Everly, I
feel like my postpartum has beengoing very well, which I had a
C-section for both of them.
I feel like that recovery wassomething that, yeah, it's
(13:15):
pretty rough, pretty rough, sothat's probably one thing that
did get me down or whatnot.
But I feel like, overall, Ikind of have a different
perspective and I can kind ofgauge things differently.
We got to give ourselves graceas mothers and I'm really glad
that you guys are able to, youknow, express yourself, because
we all need to have a safe space.
And I can kind of relate to whatAri was saying.
(13:37):
What she was saying, like youdon't want to put stuff on
others because, like, you'llmask so many things, like
someone saying, how are youdoing?
Oh, I'm doing good, I'm doinggood, like I do that a lot too,
and I feel like we just like wekeep it in, just like to the
point where we explode andthat's you said you don't want
to put everything you got goingon somebody else or be that
(13:58):
person to let you know, feellike a burden.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
But it's nice to have friends that understand
everything you go through so youcan kind of feel more free to
express yourself.
I definitely agree it is goodto have people around.
I think the most importantfactor of dealing with
postpartum is the person thatyou're creating that life with
right.
So you know you want thatsupport from your spouse or your
mate, whoever you're with.
You know you don't even have tobe married, but the person that
you laid down and had that babywith you want them to support
(14:32):
you because at the end of theday, that's the support that you
want.
You can have all the familysupport that you can have.
But if that person that you satthere and y'all didn't concede
and you know, gave this life,you know if they're not being
that support system for you, Ithink it just makes life so much
harder.
It makes you know being firstof all a parent just so much
harder.
So I commend the single mothersout there that don't have that.
(14:56):
That you know.
Or something happened and theyended up getting pregnant.
Now they're raising this babyby themselves, like it's just so
many different factors thatcomes in with you know, being
postpartum depressed, you know.
So having that on top of that,that's rough and I can't even
imagine it, and I justdefinitely commend anybody
(15:17):
that's going through it, becauseit's not easy with two people,
let alone one.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I'm glad you said that, because this postpartum
journey has been likedrastically different for me.
My husband has always had a jobthat he's like away, either at
night or just away period.
He was a truck driver.
So you know he was gone forweeks and weeks and weeks at a
time and it just seems likeevery time I had a baby there
(15:43):
was something else that hewanted to do.
And this go around, you know,with him being in the military,
he got his paternity leave, sohe was home for three months and
my mom always comes and helpsfor a little while.
So my mom came for six weeksand then his mom was able to
come for six weeks.
So that definitely helped.
(16:03):
But I was prepared, you know,just full-blown mommy mode, you
know, and I thought you know hewas just gonna sit in the
background but he really steppedup like shout out to my man.
(16:28):
You know just gloat a littlebit, but I mean like he was up
in the middle of the nightfixing bottles, changing pampers
, helping me make sure my pumpparts were clean.
You know, bottles, changingpampers, helping me make sure my
pump parts were clean.
You know, bagging milk, writingdates, taking the bigger kids
to school, taking the boys tothe park, like he was really
really doing everything that alife partner should do, and
(16:49):
we've been sticking it out andI'm really grateful that, you
know he stepped up to help me.
You know he very much could havesaid oh, you know, I'm at work
Like I don't have nothing to do.
You know what I'm saying, I'mgood, I can just chill.
But he didn't and he checked onme emotionally, which I was
very grateful for because youknow, when you have a baby,
(17:11):
sometimes people are just allabout the baby.
How's the baby, where's thebaby?
Oh, my God, baby's so cute.
What?
Meanwhile?
Mommy is drowning.
But it's all about the baby.
And so he really made sure liketo check on me.
How are you, how are youfeeling, are you okay, do you
need a break?
And even still, he would belike you've pumped enough milk,
there's enough bottles in therefrigerator, Like go few hours.
(17:42):
And we would take shift.
You know he would do themorning shift because I'm not a
morning person and I would dothe night shift and it's just,
it's really been a blessing tohave experienced the worst side
you know to be grateful for thebest side girl that right there,
that's tea.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Like seriously, because you said you know he's
off work.
He could have been like, hey,I'm off work.
It is very important that wehave somebody by our side while
we're going through this.
It is very important to havelike a supportive partner, a
friend or anybody.
And, like you say, peoplealways say how's the baby doing?
Like a lot of people don'tcheck in really with how the
(18:11):
mother's doing and of courseoftentimes we all say, yeah,
we're doing good, we're doingfine.
You know, just going back to nottelling people how shit really
is, but yeah, that's good.
I'm glad your husband, you knowyou guys are able to take
shifts and everything.
I feel like that's something.
I should incorporate it becauseI feel like for me I don't know
what the whole breastfeedingthing.
You know this is my second timearound, I'm still learning a
few things, but I'm like, hey,you take care of Madison, I'll
(18:35):
take care of Everly, because Iknow she's going to want the
boob 24-7.
But we're still like during theday we still kind of do half
and half once Madison's atdaycare.
So, yeah, it's something thatwe're kind of navigating as well
.
But yeah, that is really nice.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I'm glad you said like being grateful for, like,
the good times, because you wentthrough all that stuff, you
know, and it just makes thingsso much better.
So that's good, girl.
I think everything is not foreverybody, so what may work for
Ari may not work for you, Ivy.
You know y'all may have asystem where you know you got
one child and he got one childand that's okay.
You know, sometimes that is away of tag teaming it.
(19:21):
That's not saying that it'swrong, and I think that you're
doing it the best way that youknow how.
So I definitely commend you foreven, first of all, even
allowing him to even have onechild.
But you know, as mothers wewant to take over everything, so
we want to be on every child.
You can't do this, you can't dothat.
So you know you even allowingthat space for him to step in
(19:42):
and help and him even wanting todo that and helping you with
that, Like y'all got a systemand if it works for you, it
works for you.
So kudos Okay.
So I know we got some mamas onhere that you know, like Ari,
you're at home.
You know, Ivy, you have to goback to work and with my second
child, Willow, I had to go backto work.
(20:04):
So it was a differentexperience from my first child,
Giannis, but it was hard becausewe had bills coming.
Okay, my husband had just gotout the military and it was
rough on him trying to get backinto civilian life and he
eventually did, but it was hard.
So I was carrying a lot of theweight.
(20:25):
So by the time I had Willow Ididn't have like any downtime.
She had six weeks to get ittogether and she had to go to
daycare and I had to go back towork and so I'm working this new
job.
I'm so stressed out I mean, myjob was so stressful y'all Like
(20:45):
I don't even know how I did it.
I have no idea how I did it, butI got through it and I was on a
type of situation where I wason contract, you know, and it
was like contract to hire and Ididn't know if I was going to
get hired because I would cometo work every single day, crying
, depressed, like notunderstanding, like it's only
temporary, and I think that'swhat we have to realize when it
(21:08):
comes to the postpartum, youknow, depression side of it.
It's temporary, but what you doin those moments and how you
handle it and how you navigateit, that's what's going to get
you out of it.
It's temporary, but what you doin those moments and how you
handle it and how you navigateit, that's what's going to get
you out of it.
Like you know, crying, screaming, whatever it takes for you to
get out of it you know you haveto get out of it because one
(21:30):
thing about it the devil, be sobusy in that postpartum, it'll
have you thinking the mostcraziest things Like you're not
worthy, Like nobody loves me,this baby don't love me, I don't
love this baby.
Like it's just so manydifferent things and your mind
just spins and it goes on and on, and so you have to get out of
it.
And so I just I really want totalk about some things that
(21:52):
we've done to kind of digourselves out of that hole.
Well, I would say, for one.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
we lose ourselves when we become mothers, like in
our minds we're focusing so muchon our children and not
focusing on ourselves.
So I feel like a good thing islike trying to find hobbies,
trying to find what you like,you know, trying to get in
routine, trying to get myselfback to where well, not back to
where I was, but better thanwhat I was before I gave birth.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
So for me, honestly, truly, in this postpartum
journey as well, it's hard tolet go as mothers because, you
know, we just want to doeverything.
I didn't realize howcontrolling I was until you know
, I was like I can do this, likelet me do this, and I'm just
like no, because you're going todo it wrong and I want it done
a specific way.
And he's like can I ask you aquestion?
(22:41):
And I'm not being funny.
And I was like, yeah, I meanyeah, he's like, but is it
getting done?
And I was like, hey, you knowwhat I'm saying.
Like he's literally trying totake all the stress factors out
and I'm overstressing them.
He's like I did it, it's done,we're both still alive.
Like let it happen.
(23:02):
But for me, honestly, truly, Ibelieve in affirmations.
You know I'm heavy in my faith.
So you know, of course I readmy Bible, I pray, I'm really big
on you know, being your biggestmotivator, because sometimes I
realized in that season of mylife I didn't have anybody that
was going to motivate me.
(23:23):
Like I was going to motivate me, so like I would choose
scriptures.
Like you know, I am more than aconqueror.
Like greater is he that is inme, that's in the world.
Like I can do all thingsthrough Christ, who strengthens
me.
Like I have this joy.
The world didn and give it tome.
The world can't take it away.
You know what I'm saying.
Like literally repeating,drilling happiness into my head.
(23:44):
Like choosing happiness, wakingup in the morning and sometimes
just saying today I'm going tobe happy, today I choose to be
happy.
You know what I'm saying.
Like affirmations is whatreally really helped me.
Like repetitiveness, like itworks in children and education,
it will work for you inadulthood.
And positivity and success.
Like whatever you needed to do,whatever you repeat and you
(24:06):
claim over yourself like thereis power in your tongue and in
your words.
So you have to speak overyourself.
So affirmations I will alwaysrecommend for any situation,
positive or negative.
You know if you need morepositivity, you speak positive
thoughts.
You need to get out ofnegativity, you speak positive
thoughts.
So for me that was a number one.
Like I had sticky noteseverywhere on my mirror, on the
(24:29):
walls, on the refrigerator, onmy calendar.
You know I had positive quoteson the lock screen of my phone.
Sometimes I would just write acute little quote on the mirror
you are enough, you are worthy.
You know, like literally justreminders, everywhere I turn,
even in the car, in my visor,like everywhere I go, like I'm
(24:52):
reminded that I am.
You know who I want to be, I amwho I say I am.
So those are things that really, really, really helped me, like
I had to you know how they sayfake it till you make it.
I had to speak it until thosethings came into fruition, until
my happiness was there, until Igenuinely felt like the words
(25:16):
that I was speaking.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yes girl, you got me feeling like I'm in church, but
that is good.
I'm glad you said that.
But, like you know, repeatingthose words over and over really
makes a difference, because wegot to get ourselves out of
those mind traps Like we can getcaught up until, like having a
negative perspective on things,like waking up and like I'm
gonna be tired.
Today I'm gonna do this, likeyou.
Just having like so many badthoughts in your mind, it takes
(25:37):
over your body and just makesyou know make sure they go back.
So I feel like, for me at least, I'm like you know I'm gonna be
tired, it is what it is, butI'm going to have a good day.
I'm going to go on a walk.
I'm going to do this Like Ilook forward to.
You know things like before,when I used to go to therapy.
I had all these bad thoughtsand all these bad things and I
(25:59):
just couldn't get out of thosethings.
So I started writing stuff downtoo.
You know, doing little thingsthat can help.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
And that's with anything, not just with
postpartum, that's just life ingeneral.
You have to speak things overyour life.
If you're speaking negatively,negative things are going to
happen.
If you want positivity to comeyour way, you have to be
positive and that's just the keyfactor of I mean, in my opinion
(26:30):
, that's the key factor ofgetting over postpartum
depression.
That's the key factor ofgetting out of a dark place,
because it can take you to avery dark place.
I mean, we've seen where peoplehave gotten so deep into you
know their depression afterhaving a baby and we've seen
what things can come of.
That you know and that verywell may be that you know those
(26:52):
dark thoughts took over.
So anybody that I know and evenif I don't know you like, I
don't ever want anybody to feellike that that dark place is all
it is.
It's so much more life beyondthat for you and that baby and
your family and you know itcould really take you to a dark
(27:15):
place.
I know we keep saying it, buty'all like, if you are
experiencing it, get help, gethelp, talk about it.
You know, I know Ari mentionedwhen she had experienced her
depression.
She kept it in and she didn'ttalk about it because she didn't
want to burden anybody else.
But I want people to talk to meabout it, like I want you to
(27:37):
say something about it.
I want you to burden me.
You need those people in yourlife, you need that circle.
You know you don't want peoplethat's around you, that's just
like you know you say, oh, I'mokay, and they'd be like, okay
girl, like no, like I knowyou're not okay.
I want you to talk to me aboutit.
That's what I'm here for,that's what the people that are
in your circle, that's whatthey're there for.
(27:58):
So if you don't have peoplelike that that you can go and
talk to when it's a problem,then that's a problem.
So switch up your circle.
You know what I mean.
And if you are that person thatfeels like you know you want to
keep it in and you don't want totalk to nobody about it, then
honestly that's a you problem.
You don't give people theopportunity to be there.
You know you have to givepeople that space to say, hey,
(28:22):
I'm here for you, I got you, I'mlistening.
You know, whatever it is, theymay not be able to solve your
problem, but being able to bethat open ear, just sitting in a
room and y'all just chillingand crying together, like
sometimes it's all you need.
You know, sometimes you don'tneed answers because nobody has
the answer, but God.
(28:43):
That's the only person that hasthe answer for you.
Like 99% of the time that'swhat you need.
So I pray that if you have thatcircle, that you keep that
circle and you allow them to bewhat they want to be.
And if you don't have that, youknow I'm sorry and I hope you
(29:04):
find it, because it is soprecious.
It's so precious to have it.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I want to touch on something you just mentioned
having people in your circlethat you can talk to, and if you
feel like you can't talk tothem, you shouldn't have them in
your circle, and you said it'sa you problem.
I feel like, for me, I havepeople that I can talk to about
numerous things, but I feel like, for some reason, I don't allow
myself to get vulnerable whenit comes to certain things.
I feel like I'm a very privateperson, but then I'm not private
(29:32):
, like I'm very I'm an open book, but then again I don't really
tell people a lot of things.
I don't know.
I feel like that kind of stemsfrom childhood, obviously and
I'm not trying to go off topicbut I feel like I just don't
have like that trust and youknow, I just kind of just keep
everything to myself, which isnot healthy.
So I feel like I do have peoplein my corner, you know, that
(29:55):
say, hey, how are you reallyfeeling?
Like you know I have someonehere that says, hey, how are you
really feeling, girl?
You know I'm able to expressmyself Once someone asks me.
I feel like you have to ask theright question for somebody to
really open up Because, like,once someone asks me, I feel
like you have to ask the rightquestion for somebody to really
open up because, like oftentimes, someone says, hey, I'm good,
I'm good.
Ok, she says she's good, that'sit.
But yeah, I feel like thatreally does make a difference.
When you have people that arehere to listen, that you know
(30:18):
may not be able to solve yourproblems but they're just
listening to you, that canreally help that person feel a
lot better to come out andexpress themselves.
But another thing how do youguys feel about you know giving
ourselves grace when it comes tothe postpartum body, and you
know all the changes that we gothrough.
How do you guys feel about that?
(30:38):
Because I feel like we oftenlike for me at least, I'm like
dang this girl first saw me flatafter three days after getting
out the hospital and sometimesI'm setting unrealistic goals
for myself, obviously, since Ihad a C-section, so it's totally
different for me.
But I feel like I keep thinkingto myself oh, I need to get
back like this small, do this.
But it's like you're a mom now,like you know, I have to give
(31:02):
myself grace, I have to stopbeing so hard on myself.
How do you guys feel about that?
Speaker 2 (31:07):
myself grace.
I have to stop being so hard onmyself.
How do you guys feel about that?
So before I answer yourquestion, I want to touch back
really quick because, justspeaking about circles, one of
my spiritual mentors said someof your circles are making you
dizzy.
It's time to change the shape.
So I would rather have atriangle of three good people
than a circle of 15 people whodon't mean me no good.
(31:27):
You know what I'm saying.
And for you, know all the mamasout there who are listening.
If you have a friend who's goingthrough postpartum, who just
had a baby, or they are about to, and you know, you yourself
experienced some things likeonly we mothers experience, like
hold yourself accountable andcheck in on them, like just you
know, call if there's a, youknow if you can send them lunch
(31:49):
or like just little things tosay.
You know you're not alone.
I'm thinking about you.
And you know, for those youknow who don't have family
around or who didn't grow up ina close-knit family or you don't
have a lot of close friends,find your circle, create your
own circle.
I, as a military mom and spousenow being states away from my
(32:10):
family, have had to use myresources.
Like there are some peoplethrough social media, like
through what do you call thegroups I'm going to say therapy
groups, for lack of better words.
You know the different meetingsthat they have at the hospitals
or clinics and stuff.
Find your resources.
Do not bottle that stuff upLike did I do that?
(32:32):
Yes, but I had no idea aboutthe stuff that was available to
me so that I could help myself.
So don't sit and don't wallowin it because, like, you can get
help, you deserve it and sodoes that life that you just
brought into the world.
Like they deserve the bestversion of you and you deserve
to be the best version of you.
(32:52):
And talking about body imageafter having a baby, like let's
be very honest each other and weknow, like what we've gone
through, like the recoveryprocess, like you said, after
having a c-section, not only areyou having pain, like in your
stomach I don't know if you guyshave had like some people get
(33:15):
infections from their incisions,or their incisions bleed or
whatever.
And then, of course, you knowyou have the womanly things that
go on.
Like we're all grown.
You know you're bleedingyourself for like two to three
weeks, like it's horrible.
So, like the expectation thatsociety has created.
Like, oh girl, you're supposedto be back in the street next
week.
What are you doing?
We need you to be a baddie?
(33:36):
Like it's just unreal.
You know, and I've always been,you know, a thicker woman anyway
.
So being you know thick andthen having the extra baby
weight is like oh my gosh, likeI feel like a beach whale, like
let's just be honest, you knowwe are our worst critics.
And then you, you know, afterhowever many months two, three
(33:59):
months you know you're finallyable to go out.
And then people like, oh my God, you're glowing, your skin
looks good.
Oh, you look so good afterhaving that baby.
And you're like, okay, you know, maybe I do look, you know, a
little better than than I'mallowing myself to.
I'm telling you this time around, this is my last and final
postpartum journey.
(34:19):
Pk, this is my last one, but no, seriously.
I have just said Um, but no,seriously.
I have just said who cares?
Like I got on clothes, I'mdressed, I feel comfortable in
my own skin, I know what I'mdealing with.
Who cares?
Who cares Like the people who,who make comments about your
body image or you know, yourhair or anything pertaining to
(34:42):
your child, like they're notgoing to make sure you eat,
they're not going to make sureyour baby eats, they're not
going to pay your bills, okay.
So I'm not going to sit andwaste time about what they truly
think about me, like as long asthe man I married to says hey,
girl, you look good today.
I won Period.
That's what it is for me.
What about you, TK?
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yeah, definitely, like everything that you said
was completely accurate.
I think for me it's opposite,because I've always been a
smaller girl and when I getpregnant I get thick, okay, so
and so for me, like I want tokeep that weight.
(35:23):
I feel like that's the bestI've ever seen myself, it's my
goal weight, whereas when I'mnot pregnant, you know I'm
smaller and I'm so insecureabout you know myself, and a lot
of people don't know that youknow, they think, because you
know I'm small and I have apetite size, that I should be
(35:44):
happy or I should be satisfiedwith the way I look.
Or, girl, you can wear this,you can wear that, but to you I
can wear this, to you I can wearthat, not to me.
Until I believe that I am.
You know what you, what youthink I am, I.
It doesn't matter what you say,you know what I mean.
So it just matters about what Isee in that mirror.
(36:05):
And you know, after I have mybaby, like I just feel like
that's like the weight that Iwant to keep.
But you know it don't happenfor me.
I'm not.
I'm not meant to be thick, likeit's just not for me, I'm just
meant to be small.
So you know it's, it'sdepressing, like as soon as I
lose that weight and it don'ttake me long Like I felt like if
(36:25):
I would have stayed in the gymwith well, let me take that back
, because I feel like if I wouldhave went to the gym I would
have kept the weight.
If I would have kept doingprotein I would have kept the
weight.
And you know, we think that way.
We're like if we would have didthis and we would have did that
or whatever the case is.
But you know, you just have tolove who you are and it's just
(36:47):
that's just what it is.
And you know, for me, I have towork to get my weight.
You know, I know a lot ofpeople have to work to get it
off, but I have to work to getit.
And when I see, you know,people on my end, I'm just like
complaining about, like gaining20 pounds.
I'm like, oh girl, I wish Icould take it from you, but I
can't and that's not what I'msupposed to be.
(37:08):
So you know, after pregnancy,for me that weight is everything
.
What about you, ivy?
Speaker 3 (37:15):
yeah, I feel like that too.
You know, we've always beensuper skinny girls.
So I feel like you know peoplelike you guys are so skinny, our
whole lives been critiqued butnot realizing we have, you know,
problems with that as well.
Like we have problems where youknow, like you say, when you're
pregnant, like you love thatweight.
Like for me, I'm like, damn,I'm gaining weight.
I do look thick, like I lookslim thick, like now I feel like
I have the perfect weight.
(37:36):
I just lose my stomach.
So like I feel good because I'mlike, damn, I got a little bit,
but I got a little bit of hips.
Like I feel like it's kind ofkind of weird, it's a weird
journey, for sure.
But yeah, we just, like Ari,said, hey, whatever, as long as
my man think I look good, I lookgood.
And women are so cruel, we'realways like why she look like
(37:56):
that, why she look like that,like when they're also mothers
too, so they should understandeverything we're going through
as well.
But yeah, I feel like I need totake that into consideration.
Like, hey, sometimes you're notgoing to just bounce back how
you were before and that's okay.
So, definitely, ladies outthere, give yourself grace, give
yourself grace.
I say this a lot and I don'teven give myself grace, but I
(38:18):
feel like now I'm kind ofgetting into the headspace where
I'm like, hey, you have twokids now, two different
pregnancies.
Your body changes so many times, but overall I'm healthy, the
baby's healthy, we're all happy.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Like that's all I need yeah, thank you guys so
much for sharing that.
First of all, it's not easy totalk about our weight in general
.
So talking about like how youfelt, like after giving birth to
your babies definitely Iappreciate the vulnerability,
because it's not easy to talkabout For me.
I want us all to share onething that you will want to tell
(39:00):
.
I mean, if you want to say morethan one, but what is the most
important thing that you wouldtell a new mother?
Speaker 3 (39:10):
I would say do not be afraid to ask for help.
We should not be drowning whenwe have people that are willing
to help.
You know we have supportsystems, so let's use those
support systems.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
For me, I'm always going to say take care of you.
You cannot pour from an emptycup.
Like when you go to the grocerystore.
You expect it to be plenty ofstuff for you to choose from,
right, like it's.
They have to restock thoseshelves.
You got to restock your shelves.
So whatever that looks like foryou, whether that's you know a
15 minute shower or you know 15minutes of meditation, just
(39:44):
quiet time.
Light a candle, whatever youneed to do to make sure that you
are okay, fill your cup.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Yeah, that's good.
Like both of those things aredead on.
For me, I would say pick thatbaby up, love on that baby.
People will tell you oh, you'regoing to be swallowing the baby
, don't hold that baby so much.
That's your baby, love yourbaby.
(40:14):
Well, don't let people tell youyou know you're over loving
your baby.
What is over loving your baby?
What is that like?
Stop allowing people to feedthat.
To me, that is just such a and Ihate to say it, but it's just
such a black thing it really is.
We have that bad like tellingpeople you know not to pick up
(40:37):
our babies, not to spoil ourbabies, and you know, love that
baby, love that baby.
That baby needs your love.
Pick that baby up.
So that love, pick that baby up.
So that's, that's one thingthat I want to say.
Um, don't let nobody tell younot to hold your baby, because
you sat in labor with that baby,you gave birth to that baby,
you went through nine monthspregnant probably longer than
(40:59):
that with that baby.
Like nobody knows what you wentthrough to get that baby here.
So fuck what they telling you?
Speaker 2 (41:11):
As always, it has been a great conversation with
you, ladies.
We hope that what we've sharedwill encourage you to.
If you are thinking abouthaving kids, we hope it'll help
you embrace your postpartumjourney.
If you're currently on yourpostpartum journey, we hope that
it will help you go seek andfind the help and the love and
(41:32):
the community that you deserveto be the best version of you,
for not only yourself and yourbaby.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
And guys, I just wanted to give you some closing
remarks.
I'm so proud of us.
I'm so proud of us for, firstof all, getting to our second
episode.
It has been so hard.
I'm proud of Ari, I'm proud ofIvy.
I didn't have a baby justrecently and I ain't having
another one no time soon or everagain, but I know how hard it
(42:03):
is to just get back into themotion.
So I'm thankful that you guyswanted to continue on this
journey with me, because I was alittle concerned.
But we made it to episode two.
Yay, we did it, and it was noteasy.
So thank you, guys so much.
I want to just pretty much justgive you a resource for
(42:27):
postpartum support international.
So there is a helpline that youcan call if you're feeling like
you just need to talk tosomebody and you can't.
You don't have anybody in yourcircle, because I know we talked
about that earlier.
So if you feel like you don'thave anybody, there's always
somebody, even if they're notaround you, and that number is
going to be 1-800-944-4773.
(42:51):
That's 1-800-944-4773.
All right, did you guys want tosay anything else before we get
off?
Speaker 3 (43:01):
I would like to say for all the mothers out there
keep doing what you're doing, tosay for all the mothers out
there, keep doing what you'redoing, you know, don't give up
and just be blessed.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
All right, mamas, we're signing off.
Bye, hey.
Thank you for listening.
If you would like to stayconnected to us, be sure to
follow us on instagram at theunderscore chronicles melanin.
Also, feel free to give us somefeedback on more topics you'd
like to discuss on motherhood.
We really would appreciate itif you would review and follow
(43:34):
us on wherever you listen toyour podcasts.
Bye, mamas.
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