September 2, 2025 • 45 mins
Every artist knows the feeling - that persistent call of a dream you've set aside. For Pam Heffler, it was dance. Though she began her career as a professional dancer, confidence struggles led her to walk away from movement entirely in her mid-twenties. But the dream never disappeared.
During one of life's most challenging chapters when she "could have lost everything," Pam experienced a profound realization: "I need to dance again." This awakening not only rekindled her relationship with movement but transformed into something even more powerful - a methodology for helping others connect with their bodies' innate wisdom.
As Pam reveals in this heartfelt conversation, our bodies hold extraordinary knowledge that often goes untapped. "Our bodies know our pleasure, our passion," she explains. "They hold on to the pain that we've had and, if we listen, the opportunities to really let go of what no longer serves you through movement and to really claim passionately what you want to be manifesting in your life."
This philosophy became the foundation for her AWAKEN method - a powerful embodiment coaching approach that guides clients through meditation, journaling, and movement to release blocks and reconnect with authentic desires. Now, Pam is bringing her journey full circle with her short film "Dancing Home," starring opposite Emmy winner Max Gale, where she explores themes of family, dementia, and the healing power of dreams.
Perhaps most inspiring is Pam's definition of confidence as "expansion, getting outside yourself and really showing up in a big way." Rather than viewing confidence as something we must possess before taking action, she frames it as the result of courageous choices - especially those aligned with our deepest passions.
Whether you're an artist who's abandoned a creative calling, someone struggling with confidence, or simply curious about the wisdom your body might hold, this conversation offers a compelling reminder: "The dream that you're meant for will continue to call until you answer." And as Pam's story beautifully demonstrates, it's never too late to respond.
Connect with Pam Heffler through these links:
Check out her "Dancing Home" film page
Dance Your Life with Pam website
Book a Complimentary Embodiment Sesh w/Pam
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast
for ambitious creatives andentrepreneurs who are ready to
stop overthinking, take boldaction and finally step into the
life they've been dreamingabout.
I'm your host, nikki Sterner.
Mom, actor, comedian andproducer.
After years of playing smalland waiting to feel ready, I
went on a courage quest andfound a shortcut to confidence.
(00:21):
Each week, I'll bring you realstories, simple steps and
conversations with experts inmindset, courage and confidence,
plus heart-to-hearts withfellow creatives who are turning
their dreams into reality.
It's time to get unstuck andstart showing up.
Let's dive in.
Welcome to the ConfidenceShortcut.
I'm your host, nikki Cerner.
(00:42):
Today's guest is Pam Heffler, anactress, dancer and storyteller
with over 25 years in film, tvand theater, including roles on
NBC's Heartbeat and Love Bitesand the feature the Shift with
Danny Glover.
She's now bringing her ownvision to life in her short film
Dancing Home, where she starsopposite Emmy winner Max Gale in
(01:03):
a moving story about familydementia and the healing power
of dreams.
Pam is also an embodiment coachand the creator of Dance your
Life a movement journey forwomen to release blocks, find
their true voice and live withfreedom and joy.
Her passion and her motto sayit all it's never too late to
(01:24):
live your dream.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Oh, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Pam, I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Oh, I'm so happy to be here.
Thank you, that was a beautifulintro.
Honored to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
It's my pleasure and I have had the pleasure of
getting to know you on a moreintimate level through the
Courage Quest over the pasteight weeks, and you are just so
magnetic.
You're a beautiful, heartfeltperformer who just wears her
heart on her sleeve and youleave it all on the stage and on
the screen, and so I'm just sohappy to have you here today,
(01:56):
and you're going to share a lotof your tools and tips for
transforming your life, and Ijust I see you doing it and it's
just been so powerful towitness you really like owning
your voice, owning your powerthrough your film, through your
acting.
You just keep continuing toshow up.
So, as we get started, I justwant to ask you just tell us a
(02:17):
little bit about yourself, whoyou are, what you're passionate
about, where are you at right?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
now.
Thank you, nikki, that was sonice and it's been just an honor
and privilege to be workingwith you also in this whole
journey.
Yeah, thank you.
I've always been a creator.
I would say I came out of thewomb like just dancing, just
wanting to create, and I dobelieve that as kids we all have
(02:42):
that in us and sometimes we getsocialized out of it to find a
path that isn't necessarily ourtrue voice.
So I was always wanting todance.
I was always choreographing asa kid and so I was
choreographing and yeah, and soI actually became a professional
dancer at a very young age andleft that world and transitioned
(03:05):
into acting.
But it's always been, I think,about finding my truth and my
passion and really sharing thatin whatever medium I'm doing.
And, yeah, I fell in love withacting.
I really felt dance isincredible as well.
It's a different way ofself-expression, but, yeah, it
was really challenging.
(03:25):
When I remember first gettingon stage and I remember someone
in one of my first actingclasses said just remember this,
it's like you're fighting foryour life up there and I thought
I am to experience my feelingsand my voice and have my truth,
(03:49):
and that was so empowering andpowerful in a way that was
different than dance, and dancehas its own way of actually
surpassing.
Sometimes I feel like words getin the way and movement's the
only way that you can expresssomething, just the way music is
.
I also dabble in singing, but Iwould just say dance and acting
are the two things that reallyfuel my creativity, that feel,
and I'm so blessed that I keepgetting to have opportunities to
(04:10):
use that in my life.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And you've had some really great projects, even just
recently.
Like you, have a couple featurefilms that are coming out.
Is that correct?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yes, and it's so great.
I love holding the balance.
I got to play opposite someincredible women and it's a
tongue in cheek comedy, playingthe white woman saying the wrong
things, but it's with anincredible cast.
So that's coming out soon andhopefully we're going to get a
theatrical release.
(04:39):
That's the word on the street.
And then I know some so veryexcited about that.
We don't know 100% yet, butthat's what I heard from the
director producer recently, likethe last month, so that I did
that and this is all recently,in 2025.
And then flip side played thislike really intense, beautiful
homeless woman who has wisdomand insight.
(05:01):
So I love that.
I get to hold that balance inmy work was just on set last
week doing something that Ican't talk about yet because of
an NDA, playing a very upscalewoman.
So, yeah, so I'm excited.
And then, as you said, I'm inpost-production for my own film,
dancing Home, which is so muchof my story that I'm excited to
(05:22):
share more about.
Please tell us about that.
Yeah, as I said, I was always adancer by nature, not
necessarily by.
I didn't have as much trainingas some people would think, but
I was always doing it.
It was just natural for me.
Like I said, at recess I waschoreographing instead of
playing outside and I'd stay uplate and my creativity was just
(05:43):
very much off the chart.
I have to say, as a kid and asI got older, I grew up in a very
traditional family that waslike that's cute, but no, you
have to do the right thing andgo to school and become an
attorney, like all the things.
Oh, yes, and I remember at ayoung age going I need to be a
dancer what are you talkingabout?
And going at it with my father.
(06:04):
He was like not having it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Really.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, I haven't shared this really publicly.
So literally it's like you cango, stay on a street corner and
dance if you want, like I wasgetting ready to go to college.
He's like I'm not paying foryou to go to college to do that.
That's ridiculous.
Or go to New York.
At the time, new York, I waslike I was not ready for that.
(06:27):
So I got into actuallyuniversity where I had to take
all the classes but I majored indance.
So I got a great education,graduated with honors.
But once I got there I realizedI didn't have the training that
so many of the women had theyoung women and I ate it up.
And I'll have to say my veryfirst teacher said to me I said
do you think I can make it as adancer?
And he laughed in my face what?
And I was like I'm going toshow you.
(06:49):
And that's what I did.
I did, I took so many classesand again fast forward, moved to
LA, got into a dance companyand then gave up dance in my
mid-20s when I just struggledwith confidence.
So talk about it.
It's very interesting, tell meabout that point.
(07:16):
Yeah, it was a very low point.
I'm very petite, barely fivefeet, and went into a lot of the
big auditions.
That if anyone's listening orwatching, like what in the
movies is really how it was.
Like hundreds of people Icouldn't see over anyone very
competitive.
I'm in LA and I would walk outof the auditions.
I wouldn't stay because Ididn't have the confidence and I
was a great dancer back in theday.
(07:37):
It was in my early twenties.
I was training and training.
I'd come out of school, I wasin a company, I was doing all
the things that I worked.
I actually did some movies andmusic videos and all the things,
and a lot of it was comedicbecause I'm tiny, which didn't
really rock my boat because Iwas like I'm actually a good
dancer.
But so I really.
And then some people have met meand said, oh, you should do
(07:58):
acting, and so I left that world.
I just I did it for and I movedto New York and I got great
training and loved it, loved it,loved it.
And when I came back to LA, Iwas in a small acting class that
we were working on creating ourown stories and I they were
like, what about dance?
I'm like, oh, I don't know, itwas a long time ago.
(08:19):
And then I burst into tears andI had so much come up for me
around dance and I did thiswhole little one woman show
about it.
And then we went through somereally challenging times about
10 years ago, my husband and I,and it was a situation where we
were finding ourselves in a veryprecarious situation for a lot
of reasons and could have losteverything.
(08:41):
And I remember thinking, well,I need to dance again and I
really want to invest in myselfand my work.
And I got into a mentorshipprogram and they're like tell
your story, tell your story.
And I thought I have this storyinside me that always shaped me
, which was the relationshipwith my father and not really
(09:04):
being supported and knowing whatthat was like.
And I worked with a writer atthe time and he told a story
that he helped me write thestory but it wasn't really quite
the story I wanted to tell.
I hired another writer thatalso didn't really work out, so
I put it away for a while.
But that story was alwaysburning inside me about what
(09:25):
it's like when you have such apassion and a dream and you're
not supported to do that, and itwas actually a couple years ago
.
That's how we met.
It was when there was a SAGstrike, the writer's strike and
the actor's strike.
I thought, if not now, when?
And I actually had an actor inmind to play my father, who
(09:48):
passed away because he was old,he was old.
Not like he was old.
Remember my friend was like toobad.
Like what are you doing yourfilm?
What are you going to waitforever?
And it was that time impetus,and both that and during the
pandemic that I thought I've gotto sit down and write this
story.
And that's what I did and weshot it last year.
(10:08):
It was really extraordinaryagain, not without hiccups along
the way.
But here we are and I'm inpost-production and excited and
and I really have a vision formy film to be a much bigger
mission statement about is ittoo late to live our dreams?
And what happens.
The character I play in my filmis someone middle-aged who
(10:31):
didn't follow her dream and inthe story, which is fabricated,
I made it up as a vehicle.
My mother's passed away.
It's one year since my motherpassed and I'm going to honor
that and I'm with my father, whois slowly slipping into
dementia.
And then we and this is a womanwho's never pursued her dream
(10:51):
because of what she emulated inher life Do the right thing.
It's a line in the film yourgrandparents didn't struggle for
you to throw your life away andbe an artist.
That was the message I got andin the film it's a grappling
with this, seeing my fatherwho's slipping into dementia,
and also a revelation and somesecret dreams that's revealed in
(11:14):
the story.
So yeah, and I'm excited toexplore more.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I think that's absolutely incredible as a
filmmaker to get to write yourstory, produce it, film it, put
together a team, be a huge partof the editing, the music.
It's such a creative thing todo.
It's really your soul and yourheart and soul just in a movie
form.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
It really is.
Thank you, yeah, and I realizedthat too.
And starring in it andattracting the right people,
like my cast is like, oh,there's this young kid in it who
Kevin.
He's amazing.
I remember when he auditionedwe're like, how did we find
someone perfect?
And then Max was amazing andlike, and as we were getting to
know each other, I was like waita minute, your birthday is the
(11:59):
same day as my dad.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And he is a dream.
There's such a lovely humanbeing inside and out.
So everything about that wasmagical and felt and I, we
didn't really even meet eachother till he came from San
Francisco I'm in LA, by the wayand he came in and came in the
day before for fittings andthere we were and I felt like we
had worked together forever.
Oh just, it was just, and Ifeel really blessed and my hope
(12:26):
is this will be a proof ofconcept for a pilot.
Nice, because I really do thinkI see so many people and know
so many people that have neverallowed themselves to follow
what they want.
They don't even know what theywant, necessarily, because they
follow what society tells them.
They don't even know what theywant necessarily because they
follow what society tells them.
(12:48):
And I think even more and morenow with how much we're
influenced by external forces.
I grew up.
We didn't have social media.
That didn't exist.
All those things were sobombarded.
And to be able to drop in andreally honor, that is
extraordinary.
And to be able to drop in andreally honor, that is
extraordinary.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Now you have a process for that right when you
take clients through.
How to find that?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah.
So what I actually wanted tosay is when this very
challenging time happened and Ithought, oh, I need to write my
story, and all I kept thinkingwas I have to go back and dance
and I hadn't danced in a longtime.
I just want to make that reallyclear.
I went back to these free formdance classes and was like, oh
my gosh, I feel home here and Igot such a download about how
(13:34):
our bodies have so much wisdomand really know our truth on
such a deeper level, Holds ourpassion, but also our pain.
We store so much in our bodiesand I just thought, oh my gosh,
and I started writing about itand at the time I was doing some
somatic therapy to support myjourney and the person that was
(13:57):
facilitating a group I was inwas like you have a workshop
there.
So I created what I call danceyour life and it was.
And I started creating these.
I call them almost spiritualjourneys and I don't want people
to be afraid by the word dance,because it's not about being a
dancer, it's just using movementas the vehicle to access your
(14:18):
truth.
And I started holding circleshere in LA that were really
powerful, and in person here indifferent locations over it was
probably about 2017, over acourse of a year and a half.
And then I got very busyactually doing a two-person show
, which was amazing as an actor,and then, going back to this
(14:42):
challenging situation with myhusband, we met as dancers and
he got back to dance, did anamazing show, and then we
created a show aboutrelationships in 2019, 2018,
2019.
That was very powerful.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Is that recorded?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
anywhere.
We have a film that's part ofthe live show.
We've got some archival danceand we danced in the Redwoods
but we did a live show here inLA.
That was pretty remarkable andagain, I hadn't put on dance
shoes in like 25 years and whenwe were getting ready to get on
stage I thought what was Ithinking?
(15:20):
I hadn't performed in a longtime as a dancer.
And then I realized because Iwas doing my embodiment dance,
your life circles, and I was inan incredible community of
actors.
So you're there just to offeryour gift.
It's not about performing, it'san offering.
And it was so beautiful becauseso many people one of my dear
(15:46):
friends now she became a dearfriend just cried.
She goes as soon as the lightscame on.
How did you do what you did?
I want to do that.
And I gave up my dancing byseeing us at our age we're
talking older and she wasyounger.
I was like how did you do that?
I want to do that.
I was like, yes, you can.
And was younger and was likehow did you do that?
I want to do that.
I was like, yes, you can.
And then my neighbor was likeyou reminded me why I love my
(16:09):
wife, so performing it becamemuch more about the experience
the audience had, and isn't itpowerful, wow.
And then, once the pandemic hit, there we were.
I thought, oh my gosh, thiswork can really live online.
And that's when I created myembodiment program called Awaken
(16:29):
.
I've been working one-on-onewith clients and taking this
virtually and really started toharness it towards women,
because that's what was comingforward.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Confidence doesn't come first.
Action and habits do.
That's why I created theConfidence Kickstart Morning
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You'll get powerful journalprompts, a guided audio
meditation and my three-partconfidence shortcut system
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It's the exact routine I use toget up on stage and speak up.
(17:00):
No more shrinking or secondguessing the link's in the
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Grab it now and build theconfidence to move forward every
single day.
I didn't get Pam.
When and how you and yourhusband met, were you in New
York.
When you met, were you in LA.
Oh, this is great, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
It's ironic that you were saying that, because we met
years ago when I was in LA thefirst time I was in a dance
company.
He was in a dance company whichI didn't know, and I had
actually had an accident when Iwas in New York which you may
not even know about.
So I'm missing part of a finger.
Oh, yes, and I only say thatbecause I was trying to put my
(17:40):
necklace on this morning and Ican't.
Sometimes I can't because it'sso frustrating.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Is it your pinky?
I can't remember.
Is it your pinky?
Oh, it's a second finger.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Second finger Okay, yeah, and so the reason I
mentioned that is that was goingto be the last season of the
with this company.
I've been with this company forabout five and a half years and
we were, yeah, and we weretraveling to New York.
It was a big deal.
I was in my twenties and thisaccident happened, which, again,
was wildly traumatic and crazy.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Tell us about it.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah, okay, talk about vulnerability.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Wow, Might start to cry company.
It was a big deal.
We were performing in DC, whichI'm from the DC area and New
York, and we all went to NewYork but we had to find our own
places to stay.
It was a low paying thing, Likewe got paid for rehearsals or
something, but it was again.
(18:35):
I was in my early twenties andI was leaving to go to rehearsal
and I was staying at a friend'sapartment building who I didn't
really know that well.
Go to rehearsal, and I wasstaying at a friend's apartment
building who I didn't reallyknow that well and the night
before someone had let me in thedoor and I went to go take a
dance class.
I'd only been in New York oncebefore, when I was like a kid I
hadn't really been in New Yorkat that time and they had a big
(18:56):
wrought iron door.
Apparently they had taken themechanism out to slow it down
because of security reasons andI walked out and it's cut off my
finger.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Painful, shocking, shocking.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
You go into shock when something that happens, it
felt like a bad paper cut.
But then when you go into shockand I don't even remember how I
got back in to the place andI'm very lucky because it was
only a tip of a finger and thenright, and it was the day before
we were supposed to perform,and so I remember I couldn't
remember where the apartment wasthat I was staying in.
(19:34):
I had just gotten there, it wasthree keys, blood was going
everywhere.
I was calling for help.
I felt like I was outside mybody, like what you watch on
movies, people calling for help.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this ishappening.
And I remember calling, finallycalling 911, like where are you
?
I didn't know where I was.
I had to look up the address.
(19:56):
They got there.
They're like we're taking youto Bellevue because they were
hand specialists and it was awild journey.
And they're like where's yourfinger?
I said I don't know, this islike a dark comedy.
But they found it and they putit on a piece of ice and, yeah,
like little pink nail polish.
And then I got to the hospitaland they didn't have a room for
me.
I don't know, it was a wholething and they called my parents
(20:21):
, were living in San Diego.
They called my aunt and unclethat were living because it was
in New York and the housekeeperdidn't understand and I remember
they were saying what do youwant to do?
Do you want to have the fingershaved?
You could attach it.
And I was like what I'm goingto perform tomorrow?
They're like no, you're not.
(20:43):
The thing was very surreal, wow.
And so I ended up healing.
I flew to my aunt and uncleswho at the time were living in
DC, stayed there and they had ahousekeeper that had been a
nurse, so she was helping me.
But it was a wild out of body,weird time and the reason I
mentioned that with my husbandis that was going to be the last
season with this dance companyand I had a real conversation
with my husband is that wasgoing to be the last season with
this dance company and I had areal conversation with the
choreographer.
She said please come back, doone more season.
(21:05):
And I did and most of thedancers were leaving and a
couple of new dancers came inand one of them had a birthday
party and I hadn't gone outagain.
I was in my early mid 2024,maybe I thought I had to go out.
It'd been like eight monthssince the accident and my
roommate and I was like let'sjust go.
She was having a birthday partyand I thought, who's that over
(21:26):
there?
And on the way out he was likeI've seen you, you perform,
you're a dancer.
And I was like, oh, and then wewere supposed to do a double
date with this woman and theybailed out at the last minute.
Woman, and they bailed out atthe last minute.
So we went on this date and Iwas like huh, and we were young,
we were not looking for likethe one at all.
(21:47):
We were just like, oh, I'mgoing to New York, I'm going to
dance.
And I was like, oh, good foryou.
And we were dating differentpeople and but pretty much just
us.
And then he left and we wereboth like I think we're in love.
And then he said why?
So we kept the long distancething?
We were both like I think we'rein love.
And then he said why?
So we kept the long distancething?
And then he said, come, move toNew York.
And that really was when Ireally stepped into acting and I
remember even then, at the timewe were just living together
(22:08):
and I thought this felt like theright move and I went to New
York and then we thought I thinkwe're going to grow old
together.
Let's do this.
So we got married and then hewas done with his dance company
and I was pretty much done withmy dance company.
So it was so strange.
We did other performanceentertainment stuff in New York
but we hadn't reallychoreographed together until
(22:30):
2017.
Oh, wow.
And then did our show and it waslike we were so meant to do
this, so I'm hoping we get to doanother show yeah.
It was very magical and verypowerful.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah, wow, that's such a great story.
Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, thanks for asking.
Yeah, I haven't shared thatstory in a long time.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I love that.
You started in dance Like youknew that was your dream, and
then you went away from it.
But then you went away from it,but then you came back to it,
because the dream never goesaway, right?
The dream that you're meant forwill continue to call until you
answer the call.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
And that is the theme of myfilm too, and my character even
says I wanted to be a dancersince I was little and I can't
do work that has no meaninganymore.
I just can't, you know.
And I do think that if peoplelisten and again it's so
connected to my embodiment workthey will get to that truth.
(23:31):
But I think, unfortunately andI see it with the younger
generation, they're working andit's great.
I understand it's a tough world.
We have to survive.
People are doing what they gotto do, but I often think there
isn't enough time to drop in andlisten to what is it that you
want to be creating in your lifeand how do we find those ways?
(23:52):
And I'm teaching now.
I teach a ballet class and it'slovely.
It's lovely to teach peoplethat aren't necessarily wanting
to be dancers but just want thatfreedom of expression.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, will you take us through the awaken technique
that you teach in your program?
It's not something that happensquickly, but yes, so just tell
us about it.
You can tell us about the.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was just working with a newclient yesterday.
I always start with themeditation.
Was just working with a newclient yesterday.
I always start with themeditation.
So if you want to, just, we can, even in this moment, close
your eyes, put your hand on yourheart and your belly and just
and I do usually use music, bythe way and just really allowing
that golden light to come inand travel through your body and
(24:34):
just breathing in and feelingthat healing energy, just going
through all the chakras, throughyour crown chakra, and relaxing
into your third eye and yourthroat and into your heart and
into your belly, and thenfeeling that root chakra where
your passion lives, and thatsense of safety, and then really
(24:55):
feeling that energy going intothe earth.
I think it's so important tofeel our feet on the ground and
then feeling the energy all theway into the universe and then
all the way up, all the way fromthe center of the universe all
the way back up, and justfeeling that energy and knowing
(25:16):
that our bodies hold so muchwisdom.
Our bodies hold so much wisdom.
Our bodies know our pleasure,our passion.
Our bodies really feel ourfeelings.
They hold on to the pain thatwe've had and, if we listen, the
opportunities to really let goof what no longer serves you
(25:39):
through movement and to reallyclaim passionately what you want
to be manifesting in your life.
Let's take another deep breathin and exhale.
You might want to do a littlestretch up to the sky and then
shake it out a little bit.
And then I do take peoplethrough a writing prompt where
(26:01):
we just do journaling yeah, likeI feel I want the truth is.
And then yeah, so we really getto it again.
This is all with music toreally it's meant to be
evocative, like the truth iswhat I want.
If I really had the courage,what I I'm afraid of all these
things and I really intuitwhat's in front of me, whether
(26:22):
I'm with my group or with aclient, I'll really know like
I'll feel into what that personreally needs and then we'll chat
a little bit what came up, andthen I take them through a whole
embodiment journey.
It's really a journey where westart with just awakening, like
how does the body want to move,without being concerned of what
(26:42):
it looks like, and likeimagining what a child is like,
how do the shoulders want tomove and the arms, and really
being in that exploring place,right, and exploring with our
bodies and then our environment.
And then also, if there's onething that you want to really, I
have them drop into, what is itsomething you want to let go of
?
And I'll use actually theelements earth, fire, air, water
(27:06):
and really feel that in yourbody.
And I, again, it's aninvitation with movement.
That's not necessarilychoreographed movement, but
allowing the client or the groupto access that and to feel what
is it and how do we releasethat?
What is it?
That negative voice?
For me it's like the notenoughness, I'm not enough, like
(27:27):
how do I let that go?
And then what is it from thatplace?
If you can again really drop inand listen.
What is it that you want tocreate in your life?
It, oh, I just want moreconfidence, or I really want to
be speaking on stage.
It's great.
I want to feel free to setboundaries, I want to feel
(27:48):
sexier in my life, or whateverit is I want to.
I want to learn how to say noand not be such a good girl,
right?
So whatever it is, and then Itake them through a movement and
all of this is very curatedwith music, so music really
guides the journey as well asmovement prompts along the way,
and then really to claim that,whatever that affirmation is, I
(28:10):
am powerful, I am confident, Iam an actor, I am able to use my
voice, and then, from thatplace, after we've done all the
movement, I'll bring us back andoften have my client check in.
What is your higher self now,from this place?
Like this new client yes, Ireally am awesome.
(28:33):
Like, yeah, from that place,what do you want to be creating?
So it's not just about thecontainer that I'm holding, but
then what do we do with that andhow do we then take those
actions and take it out into theworld, which is what my Awaken
program is about.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
If you've been living with chronic symptoms like pain
, brain fog, sensitivity tosmells, light or sound, it might
not just be your body, it couldbe your brain, stuck in a
survival loop.
Dnrs stands for Dynamic NeuralRetraining System.
It's a science-backed programthat helps rewire the limbic
system, the part of the brainresponsible for fear, fight or
(29:12):
flight and overreaction toeveryday things.
It changed everything for me,helping me heal and return to
the creative life I love.
If this speaks to you, clickthe link in the caption.
It might be the answer you'relooking for.
So the A stands for something,the W Will you tell us what?
Those are the pieces of it.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yes.
So awaken which I love thatword just like totally, are we
awakening?
Awaken, so I use that as theacronym.
A is how do we really anchor inand align with what is so right
now, like really getting intouch with that truth of where I
(29:53):
am right now, just reallygetting in alignment with that?
And then the W stands forlistening to the wise part of
you that knows.
And right now my containerawaken is for women.
I've worked with men too, bythe way, very successfully, and
it's been quite beautiful.
But I say, what is that wisewoman know, and I truly believe,
(30:17):
as women, that we have so muchintuition and wisdom that goes
on tap.
So it's again listening andfrom that place of like, our
passion and our desire thatoften gets cut off from shame
and and movement really stirsthat up, we're moving our hips,
we're moving our shoulders,we're again.
It's not from the head but it'sfrom the body.
(30:39):
And then, as we get into thatwisdom, awa is, what small
action can we take in alignmentwith that, whatever that might
be?
I was sharing through the otherday.
One of my clients really wantedto get pregnant and share with
her partner.
I want to have a baby.
Oh my goodness, to get pregnantand share with her partner.
(31:00):
I want to have a baby, oh mygoodness.
So then I take action.
We get some feedback.
Oh, did that work?
That didn't work.
So it's gaining more knowledge.
What is it that knowledge thatwe gain from that?
And maybe there's a skill thatwe want to transform or get
better at.
So if I'm wanting to sing andI'm doing karaoke or whatever I
might, oh, I'm going to take asinging class, or what is that?
(31:21):
What is it that we got evenmore insight from?
And then that's that next phase.
And then the E A-W-A-K-E is howdo we take this from just our
own small world and reallyengage the world in a bigger way
?
How do we make more impact?
I'm so passionate about that asan artist in the work bigger
way.
How do we make more impact?
I'm so passionate about that asan artist in the work I do.
(31:42):
How do we have impact?
How are we making a differencein communities?
How are we taking that, whatwe're changing in our own lives,
but also bringing it out intothe world?
And then the N?
A-w-a-k-e-n is here we are thepower of now, like here we are,
what has happened and now,what's next?
How do we take that evenfurther?
How do we want to expand?
(32:04):
What have we learned in thatjourney?
And yeah, it's an amazingcontainer.
When I did it before, it wasreally powerful, so thank you
for letting me share that.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, I love the journey that you take them on
and it's a six-week journey thatyou do.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Actually originally it was six weeks, just to yeah,
just to be clear, I'm expandingthis to actually more over three
months.
So what we're going to do, yeah, so I want to give people a
little bit more time.
So the first two weeks we dothe embodiment work AW and then
I'm going to do I also haveworked for years as a life coach
, facilitating one on one bookgroups.
So I'm going to have some lasercoaching so we can have some
(32:43):
more support in real time what'scoming up.
And then we have a week ofintegration and then we go back.
So we've got a little bit moretime in this.
So it's nine full sessions,plus anyone that wants to sign
up right away can get a privatesession.
It's always great to get aone-on-one so you know what's
happening with the person.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Oh, I love that, Pam.
That's beautiful.
When is your program kickingoff?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah, we're actually kicking off very shortly, as
soon as like next week perhaps,so we're moving quick.
Yeah, we had some people whowere going to start a little
earlier, but with travel andeverything, and then I can have
some people roll in if they'renot available quite yet.
But I'm doing my embodimentsessions, that if people want to
check out.
Oh, that's fantastic, yeah,wonderful.
(33:48):
I'm so happy that you it, sothat I could really be focusing
on casting and I honestlyproduced.
So you know, all encompassing.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Yeah, it's all encompassing and with life and
all the things that I do, and soI've been excited to get back
to that and I've worked one onone.
But there's laser.
Coaching is so transformative,like you really move the needle
with that, but then thecommunity really makes you feel
like we're all together, we'reall supporting each other.
This is a movement, not just me.
I'm not alone.
There's something magical tothe community.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
And you realize too, as women, even different seasons
of our lives, that there's somuch common ground, yeah, and to
be celebrated.
I think that's.
That was the other thing.
I was privileged to do someamazing women's groups during
the pandemic and I thought, wow,women celebrating other women
is really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
It is, and I don't.
It didn't used to be like that.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
It used to be so competitive, I feel, but not
anymore, not anymore, and I dothink that's how we're going to
transform our world is by thatbeautiful support.
Like together we rise together.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yes, and we cheer each other on the 4-H quest.
We have our text group where wejust, you know, it's everything
.
Yeah, it is, it really iseverything.
Yeah, it's like you get toshine your light, I get to shine
my light.
The others do as well, and it'slike you said, when we rise, we
bring the rest with us.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yeah, and it gives each other courage.
You're like, oh, maybe I can,oh, maybe I can Exactly yeah, me
too, me too yeah.
And we get excited.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Yeah, yeah, it is exciting, yeah, I'm so thankful
to have you in that.
Okay, let's go on to the thirdpart, which is the confidence
quickfire round.
So I'm going to ask questions.
The first one is Pam how do youdefine confidence?
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Confidence is expansion, is getting outside
yourself and really showing upin a big way for yourself and
for others.
I think that's great, showing up, right Showing up, just showing
up.
And some days, trust me, areharder.
(36:13):
It's like I got out of bed, yay.
Some days are hard and even thesmallest thing I've shared
before, I had anxiety drivingthe freeway.
So if I get on the freeway I'mlike, yay, I did it.
Now, to some that doesn't meanconfidence because that's
nothing to them.
So I think it's important toacknowledge like it's different
for everyone.
Going in the deep end or sayingthe thing that you didn't want
(36:34):
to say, but like holding yourground and having a boundary, or
.
But confidence comes from doingthose things and going, oh wow,
I did that.
Doing the show with my husband,I hadn't danced in years and by
the fourth performance I was oh, I'm dancing again.
That gave me confidence again.
Or being on set again last weekreminds me like, oh, I love
(36:55):
this.
It's been a minute Every timein that, when you do those
things that you and what youlove to do and then really show
up for yourself in that way.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Okay, the second question is what's one bold move
you made before you felt ready?
Wow, which one?
I was like, how many.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Yeah, probably doing the show with my husband.
That felt really big Doing ittoo.
I was in a two-person showright before the pandemic and I
was really nervous to accept theoffer because I knew it was
going to be a lot of work.
And I remember a good friendwho does a lot of theater it was
premiere here Said it willchange your life and it's the
hardest thing you'll ever do andI'm so glad I did it.
Yeah, my work grew and I waslike, oh, if I can do this, I
(37:38):
can do anything.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
How do you quiet your inner critic or how do you face
your inner critic if you don'tquiet them?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
For me it's a daily practice.
I have a pretty loud critic.
To be honest, she can be verymean.
She's like right there, it's adaily practice and I really do
work at it.
It really is self-love and Ireally do work at it.
It really is self-love,practicing self-love, and I have
a meditation practice that Inever go without.
(38:05):
So that's how I do it.
I have a self-love meditationevery morning that I do and
really honoring and being gentlewith myself and, yeah, it
shifts the energy for me.
I also dance.
I dance every morning in mygarden.
I move my body, I play music, Iplay your garden, yeah, yeah,
(38:27):
we do backyard.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I need a video of that.
It's somewhere.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
I'll do that.
Do it tomorrow morning.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
No, I do.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I dance in my garden and I have a lot of positive,
positive.
I highly recommend guidedmeditations.
That I do and that are.
Some are just like affirmations.
I'm like, yes, I've got this,and then I like move the energy
with it.
So I've shown that before.
Like, for me, you've got toembody it.
It is not enough just to sitthere and be in your head.
For me it's that.
I can only say, and I witnessit all the time working with
people.
It shifts everything, even thisclient.
(39:05):
Yesterday she goes.
I feel so much lighter today,oh my gosh, after the session I
feel so good, I feel like thingsare possible.
That's how we get to the otherside.
I call it getting to the otherside.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Yeah, oh, that's beautiful.
Okay, what is one habit that'shelped you build real confidence
?
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Saying yes, saying yes more than no, yeah, and
letting my true passion lead theway versus my fear, because if
my fear led the way, I wouldprobably not be continuing doing
what I'm doing.
But my passion is so muchbigger, the fire is so much
bigger.
Thank goodness I'll still havethe negative voices, but I'll
(39:45):
say yes.
And then, when I say yes, oh,this is what was I so afraid of.
There was nothing to be afraid.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
How do you distinguish between the two?
Is one like super mean versusthe other one?
Or how do you know thedifference?
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Sometimes the fear is really tricky with me.
It's really tricky and it showsup in ways that want to take me
out and I'm like, oh, there sheis again.
She's afraid of something.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Does she sound different?
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Yeah, there's a lot of panic, oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
And you can almost feel her.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yeah, oh yeah, panic, panic almost.
Yeah, a lot of anxiety andpanic.
But I know my passion, mydesire, so intimately that I
know, when I lean into that,it's the healthier place.
I do have to say, when thepandemic started, before it
(40:36):
started, I had a lot of dreamsand things that happened like a
month before.
People thought I was crazy andI was like I said no, this is
real.
And I remember a friend of minesaying this is the.
I think this is going to be atime that your fear is going to
be right.
And I was right.
People made fun of me.
I was like I don't think thisis good, we shouldn't be doing
what we're doing.
And then we went into lockdown.
So I do think that there issomething also about listening
to our fear when we are in aplace, or that voice that says
(41:00):
something's not right here.
I think that's important toacknowledge too.
So I'm not going to ignore that.
But there's the other kind,when I'm stretching and I'm
stepping out of my comfort zoneand there's this panicking oh no
, something bad might happen orthe other shoe might drop, or
maybe you have a sore throat,you should stay home, and I'm
(41:20):
familiar enough to go.
Oh, that's the old stuff that'swanting to keep me safe.
Yeah, to keep me stay home.
Maybe you don't feel.
Yeah, and then I go, I willalways feel better.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Okay, so that's a great thing to know.
Oh, thank you for trying.
Thank you for protecting me,but I'm going to take over.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
I know, have fun.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, oh, that's great, okay.
The last question is what isyour favorite book or resource
that changed how you think?
I?
Speaker 2 (41:44):
would say, most recently, the four agreements.
So good, it's a good one.
Don't take anything personally.
Don't make assumptions.
Be impeccable with your word.
I always thought that meant toothers, but it's also with
yourself.
How do you speak about yourselfto yourself?
Oh, yeah, yeah, and not makingassumptions.
(42:05):
Or take someone's having a badday, and also doing your best.
And your best is going tochange every day.
I'm not always perfect at it,but it's definitely a good for
me.
It's a good place to likespiritual realignment, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Yeah, I think like you're saying, like it's a daily
habit that you incorporateMindset is a daily habit.
It's like brushing your teeth.
Why wouldn't you clean yourmind every day?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
So many other books along theway, but that's more recent.
I've revisited that bookrecently.
I read it many years ago andthen, yeah, actually working
with that.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
I've had so much fun listening to your stories and
thank you for taking me throughan embodiment session.
I felt like that was so helpful, and so I just got more of a
picture of your work that you doand it was really beautiful, so
thank you so much for that gift.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Oh, yes, it's so much more than that too, and with
music it really yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Music just opens up your soul in that deeper way, so
I can imagine yeah, how muchthat you know really takes you
there.
Yeah, all right.
So, pam, if you wouldn't mindsharing where and how listeners
can connect with you?
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Yes, Thank you, yeah, I would love.
Please contact me, message meon Instagram or Facebook.
All these will be in the shownotes.
Also, if you want to know moreabout my film because we are in
post-production it is a movementyou can go to my Alira platform
, which is also Dancing Home thefilm.
There's a campaign there andyou can learn more about the
(43:33):
project.
Another way is if, as an actor,you can go to my IMDb page or
Actors Access, again, all thatwill be in there.
I'm always open to working onprojects and collaborating with
other artists.
And then, of course, my danceyour life with pam is my website
for my embodiment practice.
And then I am offering,complimentary for all your
(43:56):
listeners, an embodimentimentsession, a dance your life intro
session, to see if it might besomething you want to check out,
just to have a real experience,and I have my Calendly link so
you can sign up for that.
And just to be clear, the workis all virtual.
As I said earlier, I did themin person, but now I have I've
had clients in London andPortland and New York, so you
(44:17):
can be anywhere and they can dothat.
I think that covered all thebases.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
I think it's wonderful that you are offering
so many lanes for people Likeyou.
You mentioned creating the workwas a gift when you performed
with your husband on stage, andI feel like you're just
continuing to give as an artist,and that is truly where and how
we connect with each other.
So thank you for sharing yourgifts today.
And thank you for sharing howpeople can stay in touch with
(44:43):
you and connect with you.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Yes, we do.
I look forward to it.
Thank you, nikki, this wasmagical.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Oh, thank you so much , tam.
Thanks so much for listening tothe Confident Shortcut.
I hope today's episode wokesomething up in you, reminding
you that your dream matters andyou can start now.
If this sparked something,share it with a friend who needs
it too.
And don't forget to follow meon Instagram at Nikki Sterner
and join our Facebook communityat the Confidence Shortcut.
Ready to take the next step?
(45:09):
Check out my free guide, theConfidence Kickstart, linked in
the show notes.
Keep showing up, keep takingaction and remember the shortcut
to confidence is courage.
Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast
for ambitious creatives andentrepreneurs who are ready to
stop overthinking, take boldaction and finally step into the
life they've been dreamingabout.
I'm your host, nikki Sterner.
Mom, actor, comedian andproducer.
After years of playing smalland waiting to feel ready, I
went on a courage quest andfound a shortcut to confidence.
(00:21):
Each week, I'll bring you realstories, simple steps and
conversations with experts inmindset, courage and confidence,
plus heart-to-hearts withfellow creatives who are turning
their dreams into reality.
It's time to get unstuck andstart showing up.
Let's dive in.
Welcome to the ConfidenceShortcut.
I'm your host, nikki Cerner.
(00:42):
Today's guest is Pam Heffler, anactress, dancer and storyteller
with over 25 years in film, tvand theater, including roles on
NBC's Heartbeat and Love Bitesand the feature the Shift with
Danny Glover.
She's now bringing her ownvision to life in her short film
Dancing Home, where she starsopposite Emmy winner Max Gale in
(01:03):
a moving story about familydementia and the healing power
of dreams.
Pam is also an embodiment coachand the creator of Dance your
Life a movement journey forwomen to release blocks, find
their true voice and live withfreedom and joy.
Her passion and her motto sayit all it's never too late to
(01:24):
live your dream.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Oh, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Pam, I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Oh, I'm so happy to be here.
Thank you, that was a beautifulintro.
Honored to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
It's my pleasure and I have had the pleasure of
getting to know you on a moreintimate level through the
Courage Quest over the pasteight weeks, and you are just so
magnetic.
You're a beautiful, heartfeltperformer who just wears her
heart on her sleeve and youleave it all on the stage and on
the screen, and so I'm just sohappy to have you here today,
(01:56):
and you're going to share a lotof your tools and tips for
transforming your life, and Ijust I see you doing it and it's
just been so powerful towitness you really like owning
your voice, owning your powerthrough your film, through your
acting.
You just keep continuing toshow up.
So, as we get started, I justwant to ask you just tell us a
(02:17):
little bit about yourself, whoyou are, what you're passionate
about, where are you at right?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
now.
Thank you, nikki, that was sonice and it's been just an honor
and privilege to be workingwith you also in this whole
journey.
Yeah, thank you.
I've always been a creator.
I would say I came out of thewomb like just dancing, just
wanting to create, and I dobelieve that as kids we all have
(02:42):
that in us and sometimes we getsocialized out of it to find a
path that isn't necessarily ourtrue voice.
So I was always wanting todance.
I was always choreographing asa kid and so I was
choreographing and yeah, and soI actually became a professional
dancer at a very young age andleft that world and transitioned
(03:05):
into acting.
But it's always been, I think,about finding my truth and my
passion and really sharing thatin whatever medium I'm doing.
And, yeah, I fell in love withacting.
I really felt dance isincredible as well.
It's a different way ofself-expression, but, yeah, it
was really challenging.
(03:25):
When I remember first gettingon stage and I remember someone
in one of my first actingclasses said just remember this,
it's like you're fighting foryour life up there and I thought
I am to experience my feelingsand my voice and have my truth,
(03:49):
and that was so empowering andpowerful in a way that was
different than dance, and dancehas its own way of actually
surpassing.
Sometimes I feel like words getin the way and movement's the
only way that you can expresssomething, just the way music is
.
I also dabble in singing, but Iwould just say dance and acting
are the two things that reallyfuel my creativity, that feel,
and I'm so blessed that I keepgetting to have opportunities to
(04:10):
use that in my life.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And you've had some really great projects, even just
recently.
Like you, have a couple featurefilms that are coming out.
Is that correct?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yes, and it's so great.
I love holding the balance.
I got to play opposite someincredible women and it's a
tongue in cheek comedy, playingthe white woman saying the wrong
things, but it's with anincredible cast.
So that's coming out soon andhopefully we're going to get a
theatrical release.
(04:39):
That's the word on the street.
And then I know some so veryexcited about that.
We don't know 100% yet, butthat's what I heard from the
director producer recently, likethe last month, so that I did
that and this is all recently,in 2025.
And then flip side played thislike really intense, beautiful
homeless woman who has wisdomand insight.
(05:01):
So I love that.
I get to hold that balance inmy work was just on set last
week doing something that Ican't talk about yet because of
an NDA, playing a very upscalewoman.
So, yeah, so I'm excited.
And then, as you said, I'm inpost-production for my own film,
dancing Home, which is so muchof my story that I'm excited to
(05:22):
share more about.
Please tell us about that.
Yeah, as I said, I was always adancer by nature, not
necessarily by.
I didn't have as much trainingas some people would think, but
I was always doing it.
It was just natural for me.
Like I said, at recess I waschoreographing instead of
playing outside and I'd stay uplate and my creativity was just
(05:43):
very much off the chart.
I have to say, as a kid and asI got older, I grew up in a very
traditional family that waslike that's cute, but no, you
have to do the right thing andgo to school and become an
attorney, like all the things.
Oh, yes, and I remember at ayoung age going I need to be a
dancer what are you talkingabout?
And going at it with my father.
(06:04):
He was like not having it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Really.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, I haven't shared this really publicly.
So literally it's like you cango, stay on a street corner and
dance if you want, like I wasgetting ready to go to college.
He's like I'm not paying foryou to go to college to do that.
That's ridiculous.
Or go to New York.
At the time, new York, I waslike I was not ready for that.
(06:27):
So I got into actuallyuniversity where I had to take
all the classes but I majored indance.
So I got a great education,graduated with honors.
But once I got there I realizedI didn't have the training that
so many of the women had theyoung women and I ate it up.
And I'll have to say my veryfirst teacher said to me I said
do you think I can make it as adancer?
And he laughed in my face what?
And I was like I'm going toshow you.
(06:49):
And that's what I did.
I did, I took so many classesand again fast forward, moved to
LA, got into a dance companyand then gave up dance in my
mid-20s when I just struggledwith confidence.
So talk about it.
It's very interesting, tell meabout that point.
(07:16):
Yeah, it was a very low point.
I'm very petite, barely fivefeet, and went into a lot of the
big auditions.
That if anyone's listening orwatching, like what in the
movies is really how it was.
Like hundreds of people Icouldn't see over anyone very
competitive.
I'm in LA and I would walk outof the auditions.
I wouldn't stay because Ididn't have the confidence and I
was a great dancer back in theday.
(07:37):
It was in my early twenties.
I was training and training.
I'd come out of school, I wasin a company, I was doing all
the things that I worked.
I actually did some movies andmusic videos and all the things,
and a lot of it was comedicbecause I'm tiny, which didn't
really rock my boat because Iwas like I'm actually a good
dancer.
But so I really.
And then some people have met meand said, oh, you should do
(07:58):
acting, and so I left that world.
I just I did it for and I movedto New York and I got great
training and loved it, loved it,loved it.
And when I came back to LA, Iwas in a small acting class that
we were working on creating ourown stories and I they were
like, what about dance?
I'm like, oh, I don't know, itwas a long time ago.
(08:19):
And then I burst into tears andI had so much come up for me
around dance and I did thiswhole little one woman show
about it.
And then we went through somereally challenging times about
10 years ago, my husband and I,and it was a situation where we
were finding ourselves in a veryprecarious situation for a lot
of reasons and could have losteverything.
(08:41):
And I remember thinking, well,I need to dance again and I
really want to invest in myselfand my work.
And I got into a mentorshipprogram and they're like tell
your story, tell your story.
And I thought I have this storyinside me that always shaped me
, which was the relationshipwith my father and not really
(09:04):
being supported and knowing whatthat was like.
And I worked with a writer atthe time and he told a story
that he helped me write thestory but it wasn't really quite
the story I wanted to tell.
I hired another writer thatalso didn't really work out, so
I put it away for a while.
But that story was alwaysburning inside me about what
(09:25):
it's like when you have such apassion and a dream and you're
not supported to do that, and itwas actually a couple years ago
.
That's how we met.
It was when there was a SAGstrike, the writer's strike and
the actor's strike.
I thought, if not now, when?
And I actually had an actor inmind to play my father, who
(09:48):
passed away because he was old,he was old.
Not like he was old.
Remember my friend was like toobad.
Like what are you doing yourfilm?
What are you going to waitforever?
And it was that time impetus,and both that and during the
pandemic that I thought I've gotto sit down and write this
story.
And that's what I did and weshot it last year.
(10:08):
It was really extraordinaryagain, not without hiccups along
the way.
But here we are and I'm inpost-production and excited and
and I really have a vision formy film to be a much bigger
mission statement about is ittoo late to live our dreams?
And what happens.
The character I play in my filmis someone middle-aged who
(10:31):
didn't follow her dream and inthe story, which is fabricated,
I made it up as a vehicle.
My mother's passed away.
It's one year since my motherpassed and I'm going to honor
that and I'm with my father, whois slowly slipping into
dementia.
And then we and this is a womanwho's never pursued her dream
(10:51):
because of what she emulated inher life Do the right thing.
It's a line in the film yourgrandparents didn't struggle for
you to throw your life away andbe an artist.
That was the message I got andin the film it's a grappling
with this, seeing my fatherwho's slipping into dementia,
and also a revelation and somesecret dreams that's revealed in
(11:14):
the story.
So yeah, and I'm excited toexplore more.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I think that's absolutely incredible as a
filmmaker to get to write yourstory, produce it, film it, put
together a team, be a huge partof the editing, the music.
It's such a creative thing todo.
It's really your soul and yourheart and soul just in a movie
form.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
It really is.
Thank you, yeah, and I realizedthat too.
And starring in it andattracting the right people,
like my cast is like, oh,there's this young kid in it who
Kevin.
He's amazing.
I remember when he auditionedwe're like, how did we find
someone perfect?
And then Max was amazing andlike, and as we were getting to
know each other, I was like waita minute, your birthday is the
(11:59):
same day as my dad.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And he is a dream.
There's such a lovely humanbeing inside and out.
So everything about that wasmagical and felt and I, we
didn't really even meet eachother till he came from San
Francisco I'm in LA, by the wayand he came in and came in the
day before for fittings andthere we were and I felt like we
had worked together forever.
Oh just, it was just, and Ifeel really blessed and my hope
(12:26):
is this will be a proof ofconcept for a pilot.
Nice, because I really do thinkI see so many people and know
so many people that have neverallowed themselves to follow
what they want.
They don't even know what theywant, necessarily, because they
follow what society tells them.
They don't even know what theywant necessarily because they
follow what society tells them.
(12:48):
And I think even more and morenow with how much we're
influenced by external forces.
I grew up.
We didn't have social media.
That didn't exist.
All those things were sobombarded.
And to be able to drop in andreally honor, that is
extraordinary.
And to be able to drop in andreally honor, that is
extraordinary.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Now you have a process for that right when you
take clients through.
How to find that?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah.
So what I actually wanted tosay is when this very
challenging time happened and Ithought, oh, I need to write my
story, and all I kept thinkingwas I have to go back and dance
and I hadn't danced in a longtime.
I just want to make that reallyclear.
I went back to these free formdance classes and was like, oh
my gosh, I feel home here and Igot such a download about how
(13:34):
our bodies have so much wisdomand really know our truth on
such a deeper level, Holds ourpassion, but also our pain.
We store so much in our bodiesand I just thought, oh my gosh,
and I started writing about itand at the time I was doing some
somatic therapy to support myjourney and the person that was
(13:57):
facilitating a group I was inwas like you have a workshop
there.
So I created what I call danceyour life and it was.
And I started creating these.
I call them almost spiritualjourneys and I don't want people
to be afraid by the word dance,because it's not about being a
dancer, it's just using movementas the vehicle to access your
(14:18):
truth.
And I started holding circleshere in LA that were really
powerful, and in person here indifferent locations over it was
probably about 2017, over acourse of a year and a half.
And then I got very busyactually doing a two-person show
, which was amazing as an actor,and then, going back to this
(14:42):
challenging situation with myhusband, we met as dancers and
he got back to dance, did anamazing show, and then we
created a show aboutrelationships in 2019, 2018,
2019.
That was very powerful.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Is that recorded?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
anywhere.
We have a film that's part ofthe live show.
We've got some archival danceand we danced in the Redwoods
but we did a live show here inLA.
That was pretty remarkable andagain, I hadn't put on dance
shoes in like 25 years and whenwe were getting ready to get on
stage I thought what was Ithinking?
(15:20):
I hadn't performed in a longtime as a dancer.
And then I realized because Iwas doing my embodiment dance,
your life circles, and I was inan incredible community of
actors.
So you're there just to offeryour gift.
It's not about performing, it'san offering.
And it was so beautiful becauseso many people one of my dear
(15:46):
friends now she became a dearfriend just cried.
She goes as soon as the lightscame on.
How did you do what you did?
I want to do that.
And I gave up my dancing byseeing us at our age we're
talking older and she wasyounger.
I was like how did you do that?
I want to do that.
I was like, yes, you can.
And was younger and was likehow did you do that?
I want to do that.
I was like, yes, you can.
And then my neighbor was likeyou reminded me why I love my
(16:09):
wife, so performing it becamemuch more about the experience
the audience had, and isn't itpowerful, wow.
And then, once the pandemic hit, there we were.
I thought, oh my gosh, thiswork can really live online.
And that's when I created myembodiment program called Awaken
(16:29):
.
I've been working one-on-onewith clients and taking this
virtually and really started toharness it towards women,
because that's what was comingforward.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Confidence doesn't come first.
Action and habits do.
That's why I created theConfidence Kickstart Morning
Routine a 15 minute free guideto help you build habits that
actually work.
You'll get powerful journalprompts, a guided audio
meditation and my three-partconfidence shortcut system
Mindset, path and Action.
It's the exact routine I use toget up on stage and speak up.
(17:00):
No more shrinking or secondguessing the link's in the
caption.
Grab it now and build theconfidence to move forward every
single day.
I didn't get Pam.
When and how you and yourhusband met, were you in New
York.
When you met, were you in LA.
Oh, this is great, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
It's ironic that you were saying that, because we met
years ago when I was in LA thefirst time I was in a dance
company.
He was in a dance company whichI didn't know, and I had
actually had an accident when Iwas in New York which you may
not even know about.
So I'm missing part of a finger.
Oh, yes, and I only say thatbecause I was trying to put my
(17:40):
necklace on this morning and Ican't.
Sometimes I can't because it'sso frustrating.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Is it your pinky?
I can't remember.
Is it your pinky?
Oh, it's a second finger.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Second finger Okay, yeah, and so the reason I
mentioned that is that was goingto be the last season of the
with this company.
I've been with this company forabout five and a half years and
we were, yeah, and we weretraveling to New York.
It was a big deal.
I was in my twenties and thisaccident happened, which, again,
was wildly traumatic and crazy.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Tell us about it.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah, okay, talk about vulnerability.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Wow, Might start to cry company.
It was a big deal.
We were performing in DC, whichI'm from the DC area and New
York, and we all went to NewYork but we had to find our own
places to stay.
It was a low paying thing, Likewe got paid for rehearsals or
something, but it was again.
(18:35):
I was in my early twenties andI was leaving to go to rehearsal
and I was staying at a friend'sapartment building who I didn't
really know that well.
Go to rehearsal, and I wasstaying at a friend's apartment
building who I didn't reallyknow that well and the night
before someone had let me in thedoor and I went to go take a
dance class.
I'd only been in New York oncebefore, when I was like a kid I
hadn't really been in New Yorkat that time and they had a big
(18:56):
wrought iron door.
Apparently they had taken themechanism out to slow it down
because of security reasons andI walked out and it's cut off my
finger.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Painful, shocking, shocking.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
You go into shock when something that happens, it
felt like a bad paper cut.
But then when you go into shockand I don't even remember how I
got back in to the place andI'm very lucky because it was
only a tip of a finger and thenright, and it was the day before
we were supposed to perform,and so I remember I couldn't
remember where the apartment wasthat I was staying in.
(19:34):
I had just gotten there, it wasthree keys, blood was going
everywhere.
I was calling for help.
I felt like I was outside mybody, like what you watch on
movies, people calling for help.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this ishappening.
And I remember calling, finallycalling 911, like where are you
?
I didn't know where I was.
I had to look up the address.
(19:56):
They got there.
They're like we're taking youto Bellevue because they were
hand specialists and it was awild journey.
And they're like where's yourfinger?
I said I don't know, this islike a dark comedy.
But they found it and they putit on a piece of ice and, yeah,
like little pink nail polish.
And then I got to the hospitaland they didn't have a room for
me.
I don't know, it was a wholething and they called my parents
(20:21):
, were living in San Diego.
They called my aunt and unclethat were living because it was
in New York and the housekeeperdidn't understand and I remember
they were saying what do youwant to do?
Do you want to have the fingershaved?
You could attach it.
And I was like what I'm goingto perform tomorrow?
They're like no, you're not.
(20:43):
The thing was very surreal, wow.
And so I ended up healing.
I flew to my aunt and uncleswho at the time were living in
DC, stayed there and they had ahousekeeper that had been a
nurse, so she was helping me.
But it was a wild out of body,weird time and the reason I
mentioned that with my husbandis that was going to be the last
season with this dance companyand I had a real conversation
with my husband is that wasgoing to be the last season with
this dance company and I had areal conversation with the
choreographer.
She said please come back, doone more season.
(21:05):
And I did and most of thedancers were leaving and a
couple of new dancers came inand one of them had a birthday
party and I hadn't gone outagain.
I was in my early mid 2024,maybe I thought I had to go out.
It'd been like eight monthssince the accident and my
roommate and I was like let'sjust go.
She was having a birthday partyand I thought, who's that over
(21:26):
there?
And on the way out he was likeI've seen you, you perform,
you're a dancer.
And I was like, oh, and then wewere supposed to do a double
date with this woman and theybailed out at the last minute.
Woman, and they bailed out atthe last minute.
So we went on this date and Iwas like huh, and we were young,
we were not looking for likethe one at all.
(21:47):
We were just like, oh, I'mgoing to New York, I'm going to
dance.
And I was like, oh, good foryou.
And we were dating differentpeople and but pretty much just
us.
And then he left and we wereboth like I think we're in love.
And then he said why?
So we kept the long distancething?
We were both like I think we'rein love.
And then he said why?
So we kept the long distancething?
And then he said, come, move toNew York.
And that really was when Ireally stepped into acting and I
remember even then, at the timewe were just living together
(22:08):
and I thought this felt like theright move and I went to New
York and then we thought I thinkwe're going to grow old
together.
Let's do this.
So we got married and then hewas done with his dance company
and I was pretty much done withmy dance company.
So it was so strange.
We did other performanceentertainment stuff in New York
but we hadn't reallychoreographed together until
(22:30):
2017.
Oh, wow.
And then did our show and it waslike we were so meant to do
this, so I'm hoping we get to doanother show yeah.
It was very magical and verypowerful.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah, wow, that's such a great story.
Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, thanks for asking.
Yeah, I haven't shared thatstory in a long time.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I love that.
You started in dance Like youknew that was your dream, and
then you went away from it.
But then you went away from it,but then you came back to it,
because the dream never goesaway, right?
The dream that you're meant forwill continue to call until you
answer the call.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
And that is the theme of myfilm too, and my character even
says I wanted to be a dancersince I was little and I can't
do work that has no meaninganymore.
I just can't, you know.
And I do think that if peoplelisten and again it's so
connected to my embodiment workthey will get to that truth.
(23:31):
But I think, unfortunately andI see it with the younger
generation, they're working andit's great.
I understand it's a tough world.
We have to survive.
People are doing what they gotto do, but I often think there
isn't enough time to drop in andlisten to what is it that you
want to be creating in your lifeand how do we find those ways?
(23:52):
And I'm teaching now.
I teach a ballet class and it'slovely.
It's lovely to teach peoplethat aren't necessarily wanting
to be dancers but just want thatfreedom of expression.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, will you take us through the awaken technique
that you teach in your program?
It's not something that happensquickly, but yes, so just tell
us about it.
You can tell us about the.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was just working with a newclient yesterday.
I always start with themeditation.
Was just working with a newclient yesterday.
I always start with themeditation.
So if you want to, just, we can, even in this moment, close
your eyes, put your hand on yourheart and your belly and just
and I do usually use music, bythe way and just really allowing
that golden light to come inand travel through your body and
(24:34):
just breathing in and feelingthat healing energy, just going
through all the chakras, throughyour crown chakra, and relaxing
into your third eye and yourthroat and into your heart and
into your belly, and thenfeeling that root chakra where
your passion lives, and thatsense of safety, and then really
(24:55):
feeling that energy going intothe earth.
I think it's so important tofeel our feet on the ground and
then feeling the energy all theway into the universe and then
all the way up, all the way fromthe center of the universe all
the way back up, and justfeeling that energy and knowing
(25:16):
that our bodies hold so muchwisdom.
Our bodies hold so much wisdom.
Our bodies know our pleasure,our passion.
Our bodies really feel ourfeelings.
They hold on to the pain thatwe've had and, if we listen, the
opportunities to really let goof what no longer serves you
(25:39):
through movement and to reallyclaim passionately what you want
to be manifesting in your life.
Let's take another deep breathin and exhale.
You might want to do a littlestretch up to the sky and then
shake it out a little bit.
And then I do take peoplethrough a writing prompt where
(26:01):
we just do journaling yeah, likeI feel I want the truth is.
And then yeah, so we really getto it again.
This is all with music toreally it's meant to be
evocative, like the truth iswhat I want.
If I really had the courage,what I I'm afraid of all these
things and I really intuitwhat's in front of me, whether
(26:22):
I'm with my group or with aclient, I'll really know like
I'll feel into what that personreally needs and then we'll chat
a little bit what came up, andthen I take them through a whole
embodiment journey.
It's really a journey where westart with just awakening, like
how does the body want to move,without being concerned of what
(26:42):
it looks like, and likeimagining what a child is like,
how do the shoulders want tomove and the arms, and really
being in that exploring place,right, and exploring with our
bodies and then our environment.
And then also, if there's onething that you want to really, I
have them drop into, what is itsomething you want to let go of
?
And I'll use actually theelements earth, fire, air, water
(27:06):
and really feel that in yourbody.
And I, again, it's aninvitation with movement.
That's not necessarilychoreographed movement, but
allowing the client or the groupto access that and to feel what
is it and how do we releasethat?
What is it?
That negative voice?
For me it's like the notenoughness, I'm not enough, like
(27:27):
how do I let that go?
And then what is it from thatplace?
If you can again really drop inand listen.
What is it that you want tocreate in your life?
It, oh, I just want moreconfidence, or I really want to
be speaking on stage.
It's great.
I want to feel free to setboundaries, I want to feel
(27:48):
sexier in my life, or whateverit is I want to.
I want to learn how to say noand not be such a good girl,
right?
So whatever it is, and then Itake them through a movement and
all of this is very curatedwith music, so music really
guides the journey as well asmovement prompts along the way,
and then really to claim that,whatever that affirmation is, I
(28:10):
am powerful, I am confident, Iam an actor, I am able to use my
voice, and then, from thatplace, after we've done all the
movement, I'll bring us back andoften have my client check in.
What is your higher self now,from this place?
Like this new client yes, Ireally am awesome.
(28:33):
Like, yeah, from that place,what do you want to be creating?
So it's not just about thecontainer that I'm holding, but
then what do we do with that andhow do we then take those
actions and take it out into theworld, which is what my Awaken
program is about.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
If you've been living with chronic symptoms like pain
, brain fog, sensitivity tosmells, light or sound, it might
not just be your body, it couldbe your brain, stuck in a
survival loop.
Dnrs stands for Dynamic NeuralRetraining System.
It's a science-backed programthat helps rewire the limbic
system, the part of the brainresponsible for fear, fight or
(29:12):
flight and overreaction toeveryday things.
It changed everything for me,helping me heal and return to
the creative life I love.
If this speaks to you, clickthe link in the caption.
It might be the answer you'relooking for.
So the A stands for something,the W Will you tell us what?
Those are the pieces of it.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yes.
So awaken which I love thatword just like totally, are we
awakening?
Awaken, so I use that as theacronym.
A is how do we really anchor inand align with what is so right
now, like really getting intouch with that truth of where I
(29:53):
am right now, just reallygetting in alignment with that?
And then the W stands forlistening to the wise part of
you that knows.
And right now my containerawaken is for women.
I've worked with men too, bythe way, very successfully, and
it's been quite beautiful.
But I say, what is that wisewoman know, and I truly believe,
(30:17):
as women, that we have so muchintuition and wisdom that goes
on tap.
So it's again listening andfrom that place of like, our
passion and our desire thatoften gets cut off from shame
and and movement really stirsthat up, we're moving our hips,
we're moving our shoulders,we're again.
It's not from the head but it'sfrom the body.
(30:39):
And then, as we get into thatwisdom, awa is, what small
action can we take in alignmentwith that, whatever that might
be?
I was sharing through the otherday.
One of my clients really wantedto get pregnant and share with
her partner.
I want to have a baby.
Oh my goodness, to get pregnantand share with her partner.
(31:00):
I want to have a baby, oh mygoodness.
So then I take action.
We get some feedback.
Oh, did that work?
That didn't work.
So it's gaining more knowledge.
What is it that knowledge thatwe gain from that?
And maybe there's a skill thatwe want to transform or get
better at.
So if I'm wanting to sing andI'm doing karaoke or whatever I
might, oh, I'm going to take asinging class, or what is that?
(31:21):
What is it that we got evenmore insight from?
And then that's that next phase.
And then the E A-W-A-K-E is howdo we take this from just our
own small world and reallyengage the world in a bigger way
?
How do we make more impact?
I'm so passionate about that asan artist in the work bigger
way.
How do we make more impact?
I'm so passionate about that asan artist in the work I do.
(31:42):
How do we have impact?
How are we making a differencein communities?
How are we taking that, whatwe're changing in our own lives,
but also bringing it out intothe world?
And then the N?
A-w-a-k-e-n is here we are thepower of now, like here we are,
what has happened and now,what's next?
How do we take that evenfurther?
How do we want to expand?
(32:04):
What have we learned in thatjourney?
And yeah, it's an amazingcontainer.
When I did it before, it wasreally powerful, so thank you
for letting me share that.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, I love the journey that you take them on
and it's a six-week journey thatyou do.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Actually originally it was six weeks, just to yeah,
just to be clear, I'm expandingthis to actually more over three
months.
So what we're going to do, yeah, so I want to give people a
little bit more time.
So the first two weeks we dothe embodiment work AW and then
I'm going to do I also haveworked for years as a life coach
, facilitating one on one bookgroups.
So I'm going to have some lasercoaching so we can have some
(32:43):
more support in real time what'scoming up.
And then we have a week ofintegration and then we go back.
So we've got a little bit moretime in this.
So it's nine full sessions,plus anyone that wants to sign
up right away can get a privatesession.
It's always great to get aone-on-one so you know what's
happening with the person.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Oh, I love that, Pam.
That's beautiful.
When is your program kickingoff?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah, we're actually kicking off very shortly, as
soon as like next week perhaps,so we're moving quick.
Yeah, we had some people whowere going to start a little
earlier, but with travel andeverything, and then I can have
some people roll in if they'renot available quite yet.
But I'm doing my embodimentsessions, that if people want to
check out.
Oh, that's fantastic, yeah,wonderful.
(33:48):
I'm so happy that you it, sothat I could really be focusing
on casting and I honestlyproduced.
So you know, all encompassing.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Yeah, it's all encompassing and with life and
all the things that I do, and soI've been excited to get back
to that and I've worked one onone.
But there's laser.
Coaching is so transformative,like you really move the needle
with that, but then thecommunity really makes you feel
like we're all together, we'reall supporting each other.
This is a movement, not just me.
I'm not alone.
There's something magical tothe community.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
And you realize too, as women, even different seasons
of our lives, that there's somuch common ground, yeah, and to
be celebrated.
I think that's.
That was the other thing.
I was privileged to do someamazing women's groups during
the pandemic and I thought, wow,women celebrating other women
is really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
It is, and I don't.
It didn't used to be like that.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
It used to be so competitive, I feel, but not
anymore, not anymore, and I dothink that's how we're going to
transform our world is by thatbeautiful support.
Like together we rise together.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yes, and we cheer each other on the 4-H quest.
We have our text group where wejust, you know, it's everything
.
Yeah, it is, it really iseverything.
Yeah, it's like you get toshine your light, I get to shine
my light.
The others do as well, and it'slike you said, when we rise, we
bring the rest with us.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yeah, and it gives each other courage.
You're like, oh, maybe I can,oh, maybe I can Exactly yeah, me
too, me too yeah.
And we get excited.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Yeah, yeah, it is exciting, yeah, I'm so thankful
to have you in that.
Okay, let's go on to the thirdpart, which is the confidence
quickfire round.
So I'm going to ask questions.
The first one is Pam how do youdefine confidence?
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Confidence is expansion, is getting outside
yourself and really showing upin a big way for yourself and
for others.
I think that's great, showing up, right Showing up, just showing
up.
And some days, trust me, areharder.
(36:13):
It's like I got out of bed, yay.
Some days are hard and even thesmallest thing I've shared
before, I had anxiety drivingthe freeway.
So if I get on the freeway I'mlike, yay, I did it.
Now, to some that doesn't meanconfidence because that's
nothing to them.
So I think it's important toacknowledge like it's different
for everyone.
Going in the deep end or sayingthe thing that you didn't want
(36:34):
to say, but like holding yourground and having a boundary, or
.
But confidence comes from doingthose things and going, oh wow,
I did that.
Doing the show with my husband,I hadn't danced in years and by
the fourth performance I was oh, I'm dancing again.
That gave me confidence again.
Or being on set again last weekreminds me like, oh, I love
(36:55):
this.
It's been a minute Every timein that, when you do those
things that you and what youlove to do and then really show
up for yourself in that way.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Okay, the second question is what's one bold move
you made before you felt ready?
Wow, which one?
I was like, how many.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Yeah, probably doing the show with my husband.
That felt really big Doing ittoo.
I was in a two-person showright before the pandemic and I
was really nervous to accept theoffer because I knew it was
going to be a lot of work.
And I remember a good friendwho does a lot of theater it was
premiere here Said it willchange your life and it's the
hardest thing you'll ever do andI'm so glad I did it.
Yeah, my work grew and I waslike, oh, if I can do this, I
(37:38):
can do anything.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
How do you quiet your inner critic or how do you face
your inner critic if you don'tquiet them?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
For me it's a daily practice.
I have a pretty loud critic.
To be honest, she can be verymean.
She's like right there, it's adaily practice and I really do
work at it.
It really is self-love and Ireally do work at it.
It really is self-love,practicing self-love, and I have
a meditation practice that Inever go without.
(38:05):
So that's how I do it.
I have a self-love meditationevery morning that I do and
really honoring and being gentlewith myself and, yeah, it
shifts the energy for me.
I also dance.
I dance every morning in mygarden.
I move my body, I play music, Iplay your garden, yeah, yeah,
(38:27):
we do backyard.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I need a video of that.
It's somewhere.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
I'll do that.
Do it tomorrow morning.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
No, I do.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I dance in my garden and I have a lot of positive,
positive.
I highly recommend guidedmeditations.
That I do and that are.
Some are just like affirmations.
I'm like, yes, I've got this,and then I like move the energy
with it.
So I've shown that before.
Like, for me, you've got toembody it.
It is not enough just to sitthere and be in your head.
For me it's that.
I can only say, and I witnessit all the time working with
people.
It shifts everything, even thisclient.
(39:05):
Yesterday she goes.
I feel so much lighter today,oh my gosh, after the session I
feel so good, I feel like thingsare possible.
That's how we get to the otherside.
I call it getting to the otherside.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Yeah, oh, that's beautiful.
Okay, what is one habit that'shelped you build real confidence
?
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Saying yes, saying yes more than no, yeah, and
letting my true passion lead theway versus my fear, because if
my fear led the way, I wouldprobably not be continuing doing
what I'm doing.
But my passion is so muchbigger, the fire is so much
bigger.
Thank goodness I'll still havethe negative voices, but I'll
(39:45):
say yes.
And then, when I say yes, oh,this is what was I so afraid of.
There was nothing to be afraid.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
How do you distinguish between the two?
Is one like super mean versusthe other one?
Or how do you know thedifference?
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Sometimes the fear is really tricky with me.
It's really tricky and it showsup in ways that want to take me
out and I'm like, oh, there sheis again.
She's afraid of something.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Does she sound different?
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Yeah, there's a lot of panic, oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
And you can almost feel her.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yeah, oh yeah, panic, panic almost.
Yeah, a lot of anxiety andpanic.
But I know my passion, mydesire, so intimately that I
know, when I lean into that,it's the healthier place.
I do have to say, when thepandemic started, before it
(40:36):
started, I had a lot of dreamsand things that happened like a
month before.
People thought I was crazy andI was like I said no, this is
real.
And I remember a friend of minesaying this is the.
I think this is going to be atime that your fear is going to
be right.
And I was right.
People made fun of me.
I was like I don't think thisis good, we shouldn't be doing
what we're doing.
And then we went into lockdown.
So I do think that there issomething also about listening
to our fear when we are in aplace, or that voice that says
(41:00):
something's not right here.
I think that's important toacknowledge too.
So I'm not going to ignore that.
But there's the other kind,when I'm stretching and I'm
stepping out of my comfort zoneand there's this panicking oh no
, something bad might happen orthe other shoe might drop, or
maybe you have a sore throat,you should stay home, and I'm
(41:20):
familiar enough to go.
Oh, that's the old stuff that'swanting to keep me safe.
Yeah, to keep me stay home.
Maybe you don't feel.
Yeah, and then I go, I willalways feel better.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Okay, so that's a great thing to know.
Oh, thank you for trying.
Thank you for protecting me,but I'm going to take over.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
I know, have fun.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, oh, that's great, okay.
The last question is what isyour favorite book or resource
that changed how you think?
I?
Speaker 2 (41:44):
would say, most recently, the four agreements.
So good, it's a good one.
Don't take anything personally.
Don't make assumptions.
Be impeccable with your word.
I always thought that meant toothers, but it's also with
yourself.
How do you speak about yourselfto yourself?
Oh, yeah, yeah, and not makingassumptions.
(42:05):
Or take someone's having a badday, and also doing your best.
And your best is going tochange every day.
I'm not always perfect at it,but it's definitely a good for
me.
It's a good place to likespiritual realignment, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Yeah, I think like you're saying, like it's a daily
habit that you incorporateMindset is a daily habit.
It's like brushing your teeth.
Why wouldn't you clean yourmind every day?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
So many other books along theway, but that's more recent.
I've revisited that bookrecently.
I read it many years ago andthen, yeah, actually working
with that.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
I've had so much fun listening to your stories and
thank you for taking me throughan embodiment session.
I felt like that was so helpful, and so I just got more of a
picture of your work that you doand it was really beautiful, so
thank you so much for that gift.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Oh, yes, it's so much more than that too, and with
music it really yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Music just opens up your soul in that deeper way, so
I can imagine yeah, how muchthat you know really takes you
there.
Yeah, all right.
So, pam, if you wouldn't mindsharing where and how listeners
can connect with you?
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Yes, Thank you, yeah, I would love.
Please contact me, message meon Instagram or Facebook.
All these will be in the shownotes.
Also, if you want to know moreabout my film because we are in
post-production it is a movementyou can go to my Alira platform
, which is also Dancing Home thefilm.
There's a campaign there andyou can learn more about the
(43:33):
project.
Another way is if, as an actor,you can go to my IMDb page or
Actors Access, again, all thatwill be in there.
I'm always open to working onprojects and collaborating with
other artists.
And then, of course, my danceyour life with pam is my website
for my embodiment practice.
And then I am offering,complimentary for all your
(43:56):
listeners, an embodimentimentsession, a dance your life intro
session, to see if it might besomething you want to check out,
just to have a real experience,and I have my Calendly link so
you can sign up for that.
And just to be clear, the workis all virtual.
As I said earlier, I did themin person, but now I have I've
had clients in London andPortland and New York, so you
(44:17):
can be anywhere and they can dothat.
I think that covered all thebases.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
I think it's wonderful that you are offering
so many lanes for people Likeyou.
You mentioned creating the workwas a gift when you performed
with your husband on stage, andI feel like you're just
continuing to give as an artist,and that is truly where and how
we connect with each other.
So thank you for sharing yourgifts today.
And thank you for sharing howpeople can stay in touch with
(44:43):
you and connect with you.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Yes, we do.
I look forward to it.
Thank you, nikki, this wasmagical.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Oh, thank you so much , tam.
Thanks so much for listening tothe Confident Shortcut.
I hope today's episode wokesomething up in you, reminding
you that your dream matters andyou can start now.
If this sparked something,share it with a friend who needs
it too.
And don't forget to follow meon Instagram at Nikki Sterner
and join our Facebook communityat the Confidence Shortcut.
Ready to take the next step?
(45:09):
Check out my free guide, theConfidence Kickstart, linked in
the show notes.
Keep showing up, keep takingaction and remember the shortcut
to confidence is courage.
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