#5: Niki Sterner | Jump First, Opportunities Will Follow - The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Niki Sterner (00:01):
Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast
for ambitious creatives andentrepreneurs who are ready to
stop overthinking, take boldaction and finally step into the
life they've been dreamingabout.
I'm your host, Niki Sterner,mom, actor, comedian and
producer.
After years of playing smalland waiting to feel ready, I
went on a courage quest andfound a shortcut to confidence.

(00:21):
Each week, I'll bring you realstories, simple steps and
conversations with experts.
In mindset courage andconfidence, plus heart-to-hearts
with fellow creatives who areturning their dreams into
reality.
It's time to get unstuck andstart showing up.
Let's dive in.

Micah Caldwell (00:40):
Okay, now we're gonna move to the Confidence
Quickfire Round.
So how do you define confidence?

I was thinking about this today in the shower,
and how I used to defineconfidence was that it was the
belief that you could doanything well, and now I feel
like confidence is the beliefthat you can do something.
I don't think that has to bethat you're great at something.
I think that it's just that youcan take action.
When you say that you will,okay, and I think that's a big

(01:08):
shift, because you don't have tobe perfect, you don't have to
know exactly what you're doing,but as long as you have the
confidence to show up and to dowhat you said you were going to
do, I think that's whatconfidence is.

I think that's what confidence is.
I love that you talked a littlebit about things that you did
before you were ready, but isthere one specific thing that
you haven't already shared?
That was a bold move that youmade before you felt ready.

Oh, yeah, signing up for that comedy festival in
Hollywood was a huge thing.
I was like, oh, what am I doing?
I don't know about this?
And then I submitted it and Iwas like, hey, what am I doing,
I don't know about this.
And then I submitted it and Iwas like, hey, if the world
wants me to do it, it'll happen.
You know, like, if it's meantfor me, it won't pass me by.

(01:55):
And it happened.

I was like oh my gosh, what?
Wait a minute, that is prettylike out there.
With what tape did you submit?
Was it like admitted?

one of my laugh lab, my first laugh lab.

Thing first like oh my gosh, that's amazing.
Oh my gosh, that's amazingcrazy right?

yeah, I was like we'll see.
I was like I'll try anything.
Right now.
My mindset's so good, I I'lltry it all.
I'm open to possibilities.
And then it happened.

I was like oh no , what did I get myself into?
I don't know what I'm doing.
I know you spent a lot of timepreparing for that.
Like it was 30 mics and 30 days.

What was the end result?
What was the outcome?
Oh, it was so magical.
My mom met me there inHollywood and we had the most
incredible three days together.
I did an open mic there calledwitty titties it's an all
women's mic.
It was so fun.
You got to do it if you go toLA.
There called witty titties,it's an all women's mic.
It was so fun, you got to do itif you go to LA.
And then we went to theHollywood block with all the
stars.
We did a tour of the HollywoodHills and then I got to see a
couple of my friends.
Their short films were playingat the festival and I got to

(02:57):
host my comedy block because oneof the comedians that was going
to host our block he missed hisflight.
And so they were like, hey, doyou want to host this?
And I was like, yes, sure, Iwas like texting Emily Holden
hey, so I've seen you host abunch of things, how do you do
it?
What do I need to know?
And so I just went into thatnight like I guess I'm doing
this.
I don't know, I've never doneit before, but I'd hosted trivia

(03:20):
, but I hadn't hosted an openmic before or a comedy show so
that was pretty big, but I gotto do 10 minutes that night,
which felt like a really bigdeal for me, cause.

I think that's maybe the only time I've ever
done 10 minutes.

But I invited a bunch of people to come to the
show and that felt very risky tome because I was like I don't
even know how this will go.
I've been doing this for amonth now, so we'll see.
But that was putting myself outthere on social media saying,
hey, I'm doing this, you shouldcome.
If you're in LA, please show up.

(03:55):
And people showed up for me.
I was like what the heck?
That's amazing.
I felt so supported.
It was just incredible and Iwouldn't have had the courage to
actually invite people before.
I would have been like I don'tknow how I'll do it, I'll just
do it and then I'll tell peopleabout it after Right.
And so people in a filmmakermentorship they showed up to

(04:18):
support me.
People from my Ruskin Meisnerprogram showed up to support me,
ask and it shall happen.
It was a really beautifulmoment a beautiful night,
beautiful weekend.
I felt so much love and that wasyeah, that's what I want for
everybody, though I wanteveryone to know that if you put
yourself out there and invitepeople, they'll show up for you.

Amazing things can happen.
Yeah, that's so cool, and allon a whim.

A whim.
Somebody sent me that from aclass I had taken.
They were like hey, I submittedmy stuff for this, you should
do it too.
And I was like cool, I'm in,let's do it.
And I don't even know if shewas there, but I somehow got in
and I was like okay, world, Iguess we're doing this.

The universe telling you this is what you're
doing, this is for you.

Yeah, because I didn't grow up thinking I was
funny, like I was the classclown when I was young.
But then I got serious intoschool and sports and dance and
I was more serious.
So it's kind of funny.

You didn't think you were funny, so it sounds
like you've got an inner critic,just like I do, a lot of people
do.
How do you quiet your innercritic?

Oh, yes, sometimes I have to talk to it like, okay
, I hear you, but I'm not goingto water that thought seed today
, and then I have to shift itinto something else.
If I feel myself going negativewhich can happen I have to take
action and say things like I'mso lucky, everything I want
comes to me with ease and graceand miracles happen to me every

(05:56):
day.
That's something that I go toevery day of my life and I say
that over and over again.
I saw a video by Michael Phelps, who is the most incredible
swimmer ever, and he said whenhis mind starts to go negative,
he says a positive affirmationevery time he walks through a
doorway.
And so imagine how manydoorways you walk through during

(06:16):
your day to the bathroom, tothe closet to the bedroom, out
the door, in the door in yourcar.
Every time, if you say thatpositive affirmation I'm only
gonna talk sweetly to myselftoday I'm valuable.
I provide value with my words,whatever it is that you need to
hear.
That's what I do and it changesfor me depending on what I'm
doing, like for the podcast.

(06:37):
It's like my words providevalue to others and I can help
people with sharing myexperience, and what I say
matters.
So that's what I do is I haveto just stop shift and recreate
the moment to just stop shift,path you forward.

(07:31):
If you're ready to stopoverthinking and start showing
up, the link is in the caption.
Go grab it and start your daywith clarity, courage and real
momentum.

So what is one habit that has helped you build
real confidence?

I think it's the shower thing.
Honestly, it's something that Ireally hate and makes me feel
uncomfortable, and it's everyday, the training part or the
cold water part?
The cold water part, really Ihate it more than anything, I'm
one of those people who will getin the swimming pool, barely
dip a toe in, like, oh, it's alittle cold today, maybe not, so

(08:09):
for me to just do it every dayis powerful, wow yeah.
Another habit I think is superpowerful is I have guided audio
meditations that I listened toevery morning and every night.
It's kind of like brushing myteeth.
So I reset my mind in themorning to know that I'm worthy
of whatever I want, and I tellmyself what I want to feel

(08:36):
worthy of specific things, likeI'm worthy of sharing my voice
on a podcast, I'm worthy ofcreating a podcast, I'm worthy
of getting on stage and hostinga show, whatever it is.
I tell myself that everymorning and then every night I
listen to something calledcreating success while you sleep
, and so it just trains me toknow that I am creating my
future right now with thethoughts that I am having and

(08:57):
creating, and so it just remindsme that my thoughts are
powerful and I am going to besuccessful and I have success
right now.
I have joy right now.
It's like constant reminderevery, every morning, every
night.
That habit.

So tell me what is your favorite book or
resource that changed how youthink.

Okay, most recently, my favorite book is
called the Big Leap by GayHendricks.
And have you ever seen thecover of this book?

Yes, yeah, I bought it based on your
recommendation.
It's so good.

Even just seeing the cover of it, it's two
goldfish bowls, one small andone's big, and the goldfish is
jumping from the small bowl intothe much larger bowl of water.
He talks about the upper limitproblem, and that's you feeling
like you can only have a certainamount of success or a certain
amount of love or a certainamount of abundance in your life
, and once you hit that level,you start to do things that

(10:00):
self-sabotage your life.
Maybe it's a fight with apartner, because you don't feel
like you can actually have thatamount of love or joy or
happiness, and so that'ssomething that we have to work
through is having an infiniteamount of joy and happiness, or
money or wealth or whatever itis for you.
Another part that I really lovein that book is he talks about

(10:20):
our zones of functioning, and hetalks about, like, the zone of
incompetence things you're notgood at.
Zones of competence things thatyou can do but other people can
do just as well.
Your zone of excellence, whichis things that you do very well
Like for me, that would havebeen dancing or basketball or
being a student.
And then there's your zone ofgenius, which is what do you

(10:43):
love to do?
That doesn't feel like workwhen you do it, and the goal is
to live in your zone of genius.
Just knowing that was a hugething zone of excellence versus
zone of genius and to know thatmy zone of genius I might not be
great at yet, but if it'ssomething that I love and

(11:03):
something that is in my biggerdream, that I can get there as
long as I don't sell sabotagewith the upper limit, if I'm
open to the abundant ways that Ican get there, it was just such
a huge shift because I feellike I'm constantly jumping into
bigger bowls now and butting upagainst that resistance and I

(11:23):
have to come back to this bookso many times, like once you
start a new project or a newthing, it's like oh, I'm a
beginner again.

I'm a beginner again.

I have to be bad before I'm good.
Again, dang it, I want to justbe good.

I understand, I just want to be good, naturally
good.
But you don't grow that way Ifyou're naturally good at
something you don't grow thatway.
Right.

Right, you just stay in your zone, stay in your
lane, yeah, and that gets boring.
Right it does.
It does.
Almost three years ago, I hadjust graduated from a two-year
Meisner Conservatory program,ready to get on stage, on screen
and make my dreams come true.
But as I started working ondifferent movie sets, I noticed

(12:08):
myself getting sick fromchemicals that were off-gassing
all around me.
The breast implants and moldexposure that caused my brain
injury were long gone, but fiveyears later my brain was still
stuck in limbic systemimpairment.
I was getting sicker quickerwith each new exposure.
I felt helpless, like I'dwasted all this time, energy and
money pursuing a career I mightnever be able to do.

(12:31):
One day.
My acting teacher asked if I'dprayed for a miracle, so I did.
That's when the DNRS programshowed up, and it changed
everything.
Dnrs helped me rewire my brain,shifting from fight or flight
and constant danger alerts tocreative flow and joy.
If you feel stuck in anxiety,overwhelm or chronic symptoms,
this might be your breakthrough.

(12:51):
Click the link in the captionto learn more.
This could be your miracle too.

Why are these five questions so important to
you?
How did you come up with theseand what are you wanting to get
from them?

I want to know what do other people think that
confidence is and how do theydefine it.
I want to know what has helpedthem on their journey.
I want them to share resourcesthat can help other people, and
I just wanted to get a feel forwhat other people are thinking.

So these questions in the confidence
quick round you're going to askyour guests on your podcast.
Yeah, so now you have a preview?
Do you start doing yourhomework?
Future guests it could be youand the questions that I just
asked Nikki, and the answerswere illuminating, but
everybody's probably going tohave their own take.

(13:44):
What can listeners and youraudience expect going forward in
terms of how often, how much,who, what, when, where, why?
What is the podcaststructurally, organizationally?

So we're going to do the first five episodes and
then we're going to jump intoconversations with guests.
The first part of theconversation is going to be them
sharing their story, who theyare, what they do, what they're
passionate about, maybe a lowpoint in their journey that made
them get curious and want tochange something.
And then the next portion ofthe conversation, we'll talk
about what they've learned alongthe way, along the journey,

(14:20):
things that they can teach andshare with you to help the
listener take action today.
And then we'll go through thatconfidence quickfire round so
fun.

Yes.
Why do you think so manycreatives need a shortcut to
confidence?

A shortcut gives us permission to do the thing
and do it not perfectly.
The shortcut is let's do it nowand let's fail forward.
And the shortcut is importantbecause so many people are stuck
and we want that quick thing.
We want to know that I couldlearn how to do something in 20
hours versus 10 years.

(14:58):
We want to have hope that wecan do something and it's not
going to take the rest of ourlives or 25 years.

That answers the question.
What is the confidence shortcut?

Thanks so much for listening to the Confidence
Shortcut.
I hope today's episode wokesomething up in you, reminding
you that your dream matters andyou can start now.
If this sparked something,share it with a friend who needs
it too.
And don't forget to follow meon Instagram at Nikki Sterner
and join our Facebook communityat the Confidence Shortcut.
Ready to take the next step?
Check out my free guide, theConfidence Kickstart, linked in

(15:31):
the show notes.
Keep showing up, keep takingaction and remember the shortcut
to confidence is courage.

All Episodes

#5: Niki Sterner | Jump First, Opportunities Will Follow

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Burden

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#5: Niki Sterner | Jump First, Opportunities Will Follow