How To Achieve Michael Jordan-Level Success with NYC Taxi Driver-Turned TV Star, Eric Schaeffer

Episode Transcript
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Robyn Cohen (00:05):
Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Daily Joy
Ride podcast.
I am your host, Robyn Cohen.
Here to fuel your day withenergy, infuse it with joy, and
share powerful stories that willignite your courage.
Spark your spirit, awaken yourperceptions, and inspire and
encourage the once in a cosmosyou to create a life.

(00:27):
That you actually love living.
So if that's your jam, buckle upand let's ride.
Here we go.
Hello there, and welcome back tothe Daily Joy Ride.
Hey, have you ever wondered whatstrategies champions like
Michael Jordan used to achievegreatness?

(00:47):
Do you wanna know the secretsbehind turning dreams into
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are you seeking the keys thatwill unlock your fullest
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I'm Robyn Cohen and I wannapersonally invite you to a
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And now.
roll your sleeves up and getready to dig in With this week's
cosmically creative guest, EricSchaeffer.
Check this out.
Eric went from driving a NewYork City taxi cab for 10 years

(02:12):
to transforming his life tobecome a TV celebrity and an
award-winning Hollywoodfilmmaker So if you wanna know
how the heck he did that, or arecurious about how to transform
your day job in details oftriumph, tune in.
cause this one's for you.
Let's ride.
I.
Hello, hello, and welcome backto the Daily Joyride Podcast.

(02:36):
Welcome! Today, I am so excitedto have the one and the only
Eric Schaeffer on the show.
Eric! is a visionary.
Eric is a filmmaker, a writer, atelevision showrunner, whose
career spans literally like overthree decades, four decades.

(02:59):
I love this.
Um, there was like a biopicsnippet about you, Eric.
Eric Schaeffer is an Americanactor, writer, and director born
in New York City.
He graduated from Bard collegewith a degree in drama and
dance.
Do you know that we both have adegree in dance, like, in
another lifetime?
We both have a degree in dance.
Hang on, hang on.
Before his breakthrough in thefilm industry, Eric drove a New

(03:22):
York City taxicab for nineyears, during which time, wait
for it, he wrote two stageplays, a novel, 20 20
screenplays, and various Otherworks of art and that was just
while driving a taxi.
There's life post taxi driving.
Okay, Eric's journey is such abeautiful Anomaly his breakout

(03:46):
film my life's in turnaroundshowcased his incredible talent
for authentic and rivetingstorytelling leading to
acclaimed works like if Lucyfell and fall Eric's commitment
and dedication to exploring theintricacies of love and identity
is showcased in projects likeBoy Meets Girl, a massively

(04:11):
poignant narrative thatchallenges societal norms in
terms of gender and sexuality.
There was a very, uh,interesting quote I, I pulled,
um, in an interview, Ericdiscussed his film, Boy Meets
Girl, stating, I wanted to tella story that would help people
understand that love is love andit doesn't matter what body

(04:35):
you're in.
I found that so moving.
Beyond film, he's made his markon television with series such
as Two Something and Gravity,which I got to be on with him,
and Starved.
Which we got to be in together.
Today, and so many more, so manymore, today we'll delve into
Eric's creative process, hispassion for storytelling, and

(04:55):
the experiences that have shapedhis dynamo career.
So buckle up, get ready for adelightful and insightful
conversation with a true talentand trailblazer and friend in
the world of entertainment andin the world at large.
Eric Schaeffer.
Welcome to the show.

Eric S (05:16):
Thank you, Robyn.
Oh my goodness.
Robyn, you know you're one of myfavorite people.
You're so inspiring to me,really.
I, I, uh, you always inspire mewhen I get into moments of
feeling blue or down.
You know, I, I often think ofyou and how you just have this,
um, unbridled sort of,omnipresent, uh, you know,

(05:36):
positivity about you.
So when I knew, I knew that,like, when I got the blurb about
sort of what your podcast islike, I could have written it
myself, like, just being happyand exploring everyone's
amazingness.
Like I was like, of course, Iwas so like, I'm always like,
jokingly or not againsteverything that I don't know
about, like most people, likeit's contempt prior to

(05:58):
investigation.
And, um, so AI, like totallyagainst AI.
Yeah.
But you know what turned me intoAI is because what you read was
AI's thing on me.
And I'm like, damn, like reallife critics have often, I have
some fans, but I've often, Ifeel like been unfairly

(06:21):
destroyed by, by critics andpeople online and stuff for no
good reason.
Well, I have my theories aboutwhy that is, but, and then my
friend was like, let me put youin.
AI and I'm like, no, pleasedon't.
And he put it in and what youread came up and it's like, so
smart.
And so like, I'm like, I am.

(06:41):
So anyway, it's

smart, but it's alarming.
It's also alarming.
For well, that's smart.

Eric S (06:47):
Like, listen, like my stuff or not.
I feel like what AI said is liketrue.
Yeah.
AI get like the sound design andone of my movies, a little thing
where I used to have and why wespend it out where like, All the
New York apartments had thisclanking happening.

Yeah, yeah.

Eric S (07:06):
Because when the heat comes on in the New York
apartments, it goes clank,clank.

Yeah.

Eric S (07:11):
And so I laid that in, in the middle of the most
important moment when I'm on myknees in front of the character,
when I'm asking to marry me andasking for forgiveness.
And then in the beat, it goesclank, clank.
Right.
And New York audiences wouldlaugh, but that wasn't like by
accident.
Like we laid that in and sounddesign.
People like say that my movie,that I suck as a filmmaker and

(07:34):
stuff like these people don'tknow what goes in like, okay,
you can hate it, but at leastlike that moment.
Like, and acknowledge that I'mbehind that, you know what I
mean?

I, I know a hundred percent.
Like, hate

Eric S (07:46):
the whole movie.
Say I can't, like, at least say,well, he's like good at sound
design, I don't know.
Yeah,

yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
So this is so juicy already,because it, Like inspires.
I have so many inquiries aboutwhat you just said.
And, and I also want to, um,just say thank you for what you
shared about how we kind ofswirl in each other's psyches.
And we're kind of there for eachother in ways when we're not
necessarily face to face, butyou too are someone that I have

(08:15):
in my, In my heart, really,wherever I'm, you know, walking
and moving and shaking in theworld of arts and crafts or
creativity, you know, you'resuch a, you're such a tremendous
inspiration in, in all that youdo, uh, including being a
father.
More recently, and it'sfascinating to me that when you

(08:37):
started to I know he just he'sfor those who are listening.
He just picked up tiny tennisshoes.

Eric S (08:43):
Yeah, little tiny tennis shoes of his daughter.
Weeping because it's like.
It's the most gorgeous thing inthe, like, I'll start crying
right now just looking.

Yeah.
We're all.
Yeah.
It's like that.
And, um, and so it's amazing tome because, and I get this so
deeply and I want to get underthis today.
You went to pretty quickly.
In this conversation, thecritics, like pretty quickly, we

(09:12):
are talking about the crap thatcritics say, who, by the way, no
one, as you know, has everraised a statue.
To a critic.
No one's ever raised a statuefor a critic.
So, but isn't that amazing thatin the panoply of projects and
things and productions thatyou've created, the masses and
masses of incredible content youhave put in the world that has

(09:36):
delighted, inspired, lit up,entertained millions, literally
millions and millions of peopleacross hundreds of countries.
It's like, We go right to, Ijust banged my computer and
shook the screen, sorry folks.
But we go right to, like, thatreview where they talked about

(09:56):
how the sound didn't work, andhow this wasn't, what is that?
Why do we go to that?
And so the real question is,

Eric S (10:04):
Yeah, no, listen.
That's the part of me that Ikeep pushing.
That's my low, dark, dark, smalls of the self, right?
The big S of myself.
Like I shouldn't be brought up.
I sort of like that JohnTravolta, whether he's, who
knows what that guy is doingwith his, whatever his religions
are, but I once saw him and likeguy just always says nothing but
positive things.

(10:25):
Like the guy, he, yeah, I saw, Idon't know, years ago, saw him
and he just said, happy, happy,happy, happy.
Like, So I shouldn't have evenled with that because it's self
fulfilling prophecy.
But there's no shoulds.
There's no

shoulds about it.
I think it's so human.
I do it.
I do it too.
I remember every word of thenegative review.
It happened.
I was on stage in 2015 and thisreviewer talked about how I was
shouting through the play andI've got like, I've got that
quote seared into my brain.
Like the, somehow we haveliterally deleted like a, like a
computer program, like AI, wehave deleted.

(10:57):
The hundreds and thousands,literally the trillions of bits
of information so that we canjust focus on this negative
review, it's just incrediblewhat the brain does.

Eric S (11:08):
No, it's sad.
Listen, I, I try to remember,but because listen, normal, nice
people, they don't have time tolike most, most of them don't
have time to like, let you knowhow they felt about your movie
or your show, you know, even nowwith like, before there was no
way to do it unless they bumpedinto you on the street or wrote
you a handwritten letter.
Yeah.
But now with like the internet,you know, and like all that
social media, which I'm not on,it's easy to, to, to write

(11:31):
someone that you like and say,Hey, I loved what you did.
But, but quite honestly, mostlike normal people.
They're shy to do that or theydon't want to do it or they
think that, you know, or theydon't have time to do it.

Yeah.

Eric S (11:42):
It's the people that kind of are, are, are negative
that have the time and theinclination to want to do that.
Like we all know.
At the

same time, the fact that they're taking their time
on earth to like write thesethings and then persist, like on
some level, doesn't that occurto you, like they're kind of
obsessed with you.
Do you know what I mean?
Like they're kind of in thisweird way, like they, like, if
you don't like him, if you don'tlike her so much, why are you

(12:12):
always following her?
Why are you always followinghim?
Like there's some kind of fandomin that, some weird you know?

Eric S (12:21):
No, listen, I didn't even see the movie, but I,
someone told me about a scenefrom a movie that Billy Bob
Thorne played a character and heburned down a church.
It was like, I think a goodmovie, but, and I didn't see it.
And I think The priest comes outand, and, and some version I'm
bastardizing the story, but itcomes out to Billy Bob Thornton
and like puts his arm around himand just says like somehow

(12:43):
comforts him.
And all Billy Bob Thornton'scharacter wanted was just to
belong.
So he burned the church downbecause he was so angry, but he
just wanted to be part ofthings, you know, that's really
like what it all is everybodylike I, what, what helps me is I
have a vision of me dead andlike in some kind of heaven.
And And like all the people thatwere so mean to me come right,
like I'll start crying rightnow, come running up to me all

(13:05):
happy to see me and go, hi.
And I go, hi.
And they're like, oh, I didn'tfeel that way.
I was just scared.
And I didn't know how to saylike, I really like you.
And I wanted to be like, you'rea friend, but family.
Thought that you thought I was adumb, like, so I have this
vision that, cause that's allany of us.
That doesn't mean everyone likesmy movies.

(13:26):
Of course not.
Of course not.
But like, it's what you'resaying, the vitriol that comes
at my, at my work, thepolarization of like, I'm the
Beatles or I'm the antichrist,you know, and then I'll take a
line like that.
Like I'm not really in themiddle.
People don't have an opinion inthe middle.
It's you're not trying to be

though.
We're artists aren't trying to

Eric S (13:46):
remember.
I said something like this isn'ta thing and the guy put it in.
Oh, he thinks he's Jesus.
I don't know.
Like, cause I said, don't killthe messenger.
And so the guy tried to say, Ithink I'm Jesus Christ.
Anyway, it's like, there's gottabe a reason.
Like, I must touch something inyou that you're so terrified of
in yourself that you can'tspeak.
Speak to, you can't acknowledgethat it terrifies you and so

(14:10):
you, you have to hate me becauseof it.
Because that's the only waysomeone could be.
You read these things and it'slike, dude, I'll have people
say, did you like that guy'sdaughter?
Like, what did you do?
Like, what'd you do to that guy?

Yeah.

Eric S (14:23):
And I'm like, I just wrote this little funny movie
where like, I'm living with aroommate.
We're going to kill ourselves ina month.
Like, it's not like, you know,it's like an influence, you
fell, you know, it's like not abig, I'm like, how did that
warrant like that?
You like say that I'm like aserial killer waiting to happen.
Like those don't add up, youknow?
So yeah.
Yeah.

(14:43):
So it's gotta be that because ifyou just didn't like my movie,
if you looked at it and said,Oh, I don't think that's funny.
Yeah.
Just kind of like, you know,like I don't think Robyn
Williams is that funny.
It's just not my cup of tea.

Yeah.

Eric S (14:54):
I don't like write letters about it.
I don't like be mean to the guy.
I don't like find his family andwrite them letters.
Yeah.
Hate letter.
Yeah.
I just, that guy's not myfavorite comedian.
and there's some movies I didlike him.
Weirdly enough, like a couple ofmovies that bombed.
I like love.
What was that patch Adams?
I thought he was so good.

Brilliant.
I love that.
I cried through the whole thing.
I know, I know, I know.
By the way, for our listeners,I'm going to toggle over the
explicit button where you cansay if this episode is going to
be one of the explicit ones.
I'm so excited.
Okay.
So, what you just shared is sosort of like, It's so useful
whether you're in the arts beingcriticized publicly, or not.
I think that's such a goodreminder that, like, their hate

(15:37):
mail or their negativity isreally not ours to hold.
It's, just not ours to hold.

Eric S (15:44):
But it's never about you, and I know that, and I,
listen, there's that, the storyabout this guy following Buddha
around, you know, being like,you're an asshole, Buddha,
you're an idiot.
And, like, through.
Fall.
You're an idiot.
Through winter.
Through spring.
Finally, Buddha turns to the guyand says, listen, can I ask you
a question?
And the guy's like, yeah.
If someone gives another persona gift and they don't want the

(16:04):
gift, who owns the gift?
And the guy said, the guy thatgave it.
And he said, right.
So if I don't accept your anger,who owns your anger?
And the guy just like sculptedaway.
Wow.
That's gorgeous.
Right.
It's like, but I can't.
It's so much easier said thandone.
Yeah.
I can't do it.
I have friends that are like,Oh, they're talking about you.
Like you said, Oh, at leastthey're talking about you.
I'm like, I don't want, it justhurts me.

(16:26):
It hurts my, listen, I'm thinskinned that way.

I

Eric S (16:29):
just don't, it never has been okay with me.
And that's why I'm not on socialmedia.
Yeah.
Well, I,

I wanted to talk about that journey a little bit
because first of all, can wejust, can we just give listeners
who don't yet know you or don'tknow the, the bigger picture
about you, like a little bit ofa, sort of an overview of.
your life in New York City,driving a taxi, getting into

(16:55):
show business, being really likea key figure in the indie world
and in TV, and then You know,becoming a father and, like, the
social media, sort of gettingoff the grid in certain ways,
the question is, Let's juststart from when you were, um,

(17:19):
when you were in a creativeflush, driving a taxi.
What in you, what kept you goingand motivated to write 20, 20
screenplays?
Like what, what had you continueto like?
go after it like Hercules, whatis, what are some of the

(17:41):
ingredients that go into makingup you, Eric that, gave rise to
such a unique, uh, career andlife and experience?
What are, what are some of yourinspirations for that?
Like, or what about you made alife like yours with all of its
facets possible?

Eric S (18:05):
Well, it's, you know, it's, it's like, I, there's
just, I am.
I don't mean to be, I want tosay pedantic.
I use these words now.
I have kids.
I don't know what they mean, butthey sound good.
Like, um, you know, like I, I, Ijust am, am who I am.
So I had this drive, I got outof college and I had this
insatiable, like blinders ondrive to, I didn't even know
what it, I wanted to makemovies, right?

(18:26):
So I wanted to write, direct,star and act in my own movies.

Who

Eric S (18:30):
no one does.
I

mean, so few people on the planet ever do that kind
of writing, directing, starring,I mean, director.
So you have this drive, wheredoes this drive come from?
How do you get this life force?
I don't know, I'm little, I'm

Eric S (18:43):
a little kid.
I wanted to be the Beatles and Iwanted to be Walt Frazier and
play pro basketball.
And I wanted to be a musicianlike when I'm a little boy.
You just like loved

movies.
You love, I just wanted

Eric S (18:52):
to do it.
Yeah.
I just wanted to do it.
Okay.
Crystallize acting, but then incollege and when I got out of
crystallize and I want to makemovies, I always loved movies.
I love movies.
I'd make little movies when Iwas six and seven with a super
eight camera, but I love movies.
And so I get out of college andI start driving the cab because
it affords me as much money andfreedom as I need.

(19:12):
So I was driving 50 hours a weekbetween Friday and Monday.
So I would drive like 15 hours aday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday to
make enough money to live in anapartment and then write for 10
hours a day, Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

Okay, for listeners who say that they need more
time.
It seems like there is timesomewhere you can carve out and
create the time you need whenit's a, when it's a love story
with a thing, just like you dowith a lover.
Somehow when you fall in love,you find extra hours in the day
to see that person.
Same.
It sounds like, what you'resharing is like, I just have a
drive, 50 extra hours.

(19:49):
Wow.

Eric S (19:50):
Well, I work 50 hours to listen.
I don't want to get into likekids today.
You know, let's not get startedto there.
People growing up now, it's nottheir fault.
They, they're, they're in aworld where they're taught and,
and for good reason that like,it's in a lot of ways, it's
easy.
They can just make a littlevideo for 30 seconds or 50

(20:10):
seconds, put it on YouTube, goviral, and they can actually
have a career.
Like, so it's not their fault tothink that it's easy.

Yeah,

Eric S (20:18):
because it can be easy.
When I was growing up, youcouldn't independent film was
even hard to do.
And you still needed hundreds ofthousands of dollars to do it.
Like to make a littleindependent film on 16
millimeter, but it was theeighties.
It was the spec script boom.
So you were taught that if youwrote a script and could sell
it, you could sell it for amillion in a bidding.

(20:38):
So I was like, okay, well,that's what I'll do because
that's the easiest Avenue thatno one can say.
No, I've created a life where noone can say no No, doesn't stop
me.
Like, so I wanted to

I wanted to create

Eric S (20:53):
a way, a life that no one had the ability to say no

and have

Eric S (20:57):
that be the end all.
So the way I could do that is Icould drive the cab, make enough
money to write and act andproduce my own film.
No one could say no to that.
As long as I had enough moneyand people to help me, no one
can say no.
They can then say, no, they'renot going to buy it and
distribute it like at thatpoint, but at least at the like
alpha and omega to make thefilm, no one can say no.

(21:20):
So I, but I was writing thesescreenplays.
I couldn't sell any.
Finally, I turned 30.
I've been driving the cab fornine years.
I'm like, well, forget this.
I'm gonna make a movie becauseit's been 10 years of me trying
to be an actor, trying to get anagent, trying to do all this.
And it was, and I couldn't, Icouldn't do it.
No one was hiring me.
I couldn't get an agent.

(21:41):
No one was buying myscreenplays.
I couldn't find an agent to helpme sell them.
So I finally said, I'm I findit, you know, my father had, had
quit.
He was a song and dance guy onBroadway and, uh, and, and, and,
uh, and a musical theater guy.
And then he quit at 30 becausehe felt like, I think he

(22:04):
couldn't do it.
And I desperately did not wantto quit and be like my father,
who I love and adore and he'sdead.
But, um, so when I turned 30 andit had been 10 years, I had this
like spiritual awakening.
I thought it wouldn't be.
quitting to stop now, it's sopainful to smash my head against

(22:25):
the wall for 10 years.
I can choose to just stop for awhile.
And it doesn't mean I'm aquitter.
It means I'm choosing to notsign up to get annihilated in my
life.
And maybe I'll try to make amovie not.
But then I said, but so then Iwent to see a movie called laws
of gravity, which was made by aguy named Nick Gomez.

(22:46):
It came out, he made it for like40, 000.
It had been to Sundance.
It was the first like no budgetmovie.
in the early 90s that ever cameout and really saw the light of
day.
There were people like JohnSayles and people making films,
but the first one that came onmy radar that really made some
noise was this laws of gravity.
And I saw that and I said, Ifthat guy can get a movie in a

(23:06):
movie theater for 40, 000, I cando that.
So I, so before I choose to stopand not be a quitter, but I felt
kind of a calm that I never hadabout a choice to stop for a
while, it'd been 10 years.
I worked my ass off.
Like I told you, I said, well,at least before I do that, let
me make a movie.
I moved home at 30 live with mymom, which was a whole beautiful

(23:29):
thing in and of itself.
And drove the cab, saved money,scrounged together, had a
friend, Donny, we, we wanted todo it together.
We scrounged together like 17,000 and made My Life's an
Interner.
We made this film.
I'd never been on a film set inmy life.
But I just knew how to do it.
I just knew how to do it.

(23:49):
I just said, okay, well you,you're the camera guy, tell it,
we're going to walk down here.
We had written it, we weredirecting it.
And sort of the rest is history.
You know, that movie did wellenough that, um, I never drove a
cab again, you know, I neverdrove a cab again.
And that was in 1992.
We made that film and it cameout in 1994.
So it's been 30 years and, and,and I've.

(24:11):
You know, it's just since then,it's just been insanity, right?
It's been like, I would makesome money in a TV show.
I would take it all and make ifLucy fell, you know, or, or, or,
or make a movie.
It would bomb in terms of boxoffice and I would lose all my
money, but then I would get a TVshow and I would make a little
chunk of money, you know, 400,500, 000.

(24:32):
I don't mean to put that down,but in this world of like
billion billionaires.
So it's like a lot of money, 400grand, but then I would put it
all on a film.
Like every last cent I have makethat film, like no trust fund,
no money in the back, all themoney I, I had invested that
would now be worth 300 million Itook out to make a film in 1996.

(24:52):
So because I wanted to makemovies, I wanted to do this.
So I just kept doing it.
I just kept doing it.
And so the answer to yourquestion is like, what makes me
a person that had blinders onlike that?
And I will say that all throughit, the design for my life was
that I desperately wantedchildren and knew that they were
the.
The conduit to everythingimportant in the world.

(25:14):
And I wanted to have them in mylate fifties so that they would
not compete with my passion formy career.
So it was always the plan tohave kids when I had came and
conquered career wise.
Not that, you know, in whateverversion that was to me.
I'm making 10 feature films and100 episodes of television.

(25:34):
I certainly have more storiesI'd like to tell, but if I died
today, at least I would say Ifucking did that, you know what
I mean?
And as you said, I'll be on thesubway in New York and some
Israeli dude will say, Oh myGod, I watched a movie from
yours.
I bought in a kiosk in Tehran,like, and it's my favorite film.
You know what I mean?
So like, A person will come outof the woodwork like that when I
feel like no one cares, no onelistens.

(25:57):
I'm a loser.
I suck.
And someone will come out ofthin air like that and say,
listen, I have a tattoo of aline of yours.
And I, I read a poem that youwrote at our wedding with my
wife.
And then I like, Oh my God, likesomeone's listening and I should
keep going.
So anyway, I did all that.
And then, um, had, had kids inmy fifties, you know, and so I,

(26:19):
you know, and listen, we allneed to unite.
That's what I've tried to do mywhole career is unite us.
So like somebody might want topick apart or, or, or
internalize and what we startedoff.
It's always about us, right?
It's always, we're saying whatwe feel and like it or not, it's
just my fact of my life.
I'm sitting here in Vermont.
It's hard to get a job.
Yes.
Yes.

(26:39):
It's complicated.
Yeah.
But for me, my life with my asssitting on this chair, I'm going
to feed a three year old and afive year old.
It's hard to get a job.

Yeah.
And

Eric S (26:48):
I've been told why.
So anyway.

Yeah.

Eric S (26:54):
The flip side of that coin is I still can make a
minute video for no money if Iwant to, if I want to spend
hours a day going on socialmedia and letting everyone know
it's there, I could get a jobthat way.
And listen, I have some irons inthe fire, you know, that are,
you know,

always really

Eric S (27:13):
interesting and helpful.
But I'm just saying, Oh, that'slike, so like who, who am I to
be who I am?
It's like, it's just, I can'ttell you that.
It's just like, and I couldn'tteach it to anybody.
Like I can, like you either haveto have that willingness to
work.
your ass off because you, you'lldie if you don't get it done.

that is the learning that we can take.
I mean, how, you know, you saidit earlier, no one's going to,
No one can tell you no.
And that yes, you would find away if you wanted to today to go
on social media, post somethings and get a job.
Yes, you could do that.
Yes, I could.
Um, let me ask you this.
We could it right now.
Uh, we'll do it right after thiswe'll post this podcast and then

(27:53):
you'll have 10 jobs lined up.
Um, and so, okay, so throughthis journey and taking the
reins and just deciding and justgoing after it like a beast, uh,
because you wanted to and youwanted to get it done, I can so,

(28:14):
experience and hear with youthat, yeah, Yeah.
Yeah.
You're so, I know what it feelslike, like you to sort of have
no skin, that sensitivity, thatfeeling of walking around like a
raw nerve while we're trying toforge ahead, and you kept going
and you did, you got, you havegotten these amazing things

(28:35):
accomplished.
Like huge milestones in theindustry, huge milestones in
your personal life, in yourfamily life.
Like.
You've gotten it done.
So how did you manage that kindof raw sensitivity, that kind of
the angst?
How do you manage the sort ofgutting?

(28:58):
Experiences the the massivedisappointments.
How do you manage all that?
Like, what would you telllisteners they can do that will,
aside from brute force.
allow them to keep going ontheir journey when it's so hard
and we're so sensitive and it'sso painful when they tell you no

(29:18):
or when they say they didn'tlike it.
Like, What are some of thethings that you actually did
that kept you on the path tocreating a life of peace?
your dreams by your design.
you know, it's verydysregulating to the central
nervous system.
Just reading a review, like itcan take you out for like hours,
days, weeks, a year.

(29:39):
Right.
So like and you still managed tohave these phenomenal, you put,
you know, magnificent work intothe world through all that.
How do you do that?
How did you keep going?

Eric S (29:52):
Well, listen, before I don't want to forget because you
said, you know, she mentionedthat everyone watching, like,
you know, you weren't starved orgravity and you're so brilliant.
Just forget as a human being,but as an actress, you're so
good.
Some of my favorite moments ofstarved or, or, or as a part you
played in our scenes and, and itbrings, listen, it brings me
like you're saying, okay, so itbrings me angst because starved
was so good.

(30:14):
And, and our scenes together,like our, she, she played a yoga
teacher, right?
A vegan yoga teacher.
And like, you know, we, we hookup in, in the show and, and
there's just a really sound whenyou

try to kill a cockroach.
And I say, no, that's a sentientbeing no different than you or
me or a horse or a dog.
And then things, right.

Eric S (30:32):
And like, she sees like one of the legs of the cockroach
that I had, like, Put a cup overand tried to save its life by
dragging it across the wall andputting it out the window, which
I did, but one leg got pulledoff and like she sees the leg of
the cockroach.
And it's like, what is that?
And that starts thisconversation, like, listen,

but that conversation about really

Eric S (30:55):
good.

Thank you.
And that conversation about whata vegan really is, the back and
forth about, about is a fish ananimal like that?
And as a vegan, I can't tell youhow many people have come to me
with that scene that you wroteabout what is a vegan?
No, you don't But what if youeat fish, you eat fish, don't
you?
I'm like, well, is a fish ananimal, right?

(31:16):
And so many people, vegans orno, have come to me and said,
Thank you and Eric Schaeffer forreally illuminating what the
heck is a vegan.
It's too funny.
So

Eric S (31:28):
it's on YouTube.
I think because it's you canfind it.
It's starved.
I forget what episode it is, butlike starved is on YouTube.
People have ripped it and put iton there because unfortunately
Because of soundtrack rights,it'll probably never go on to
any kind of back onto anystreaming thing, but on YouTube,
people ripped it and put it onthere so you can see it, but

(31:48):
that's a classic example.
So that's something that I lovedeeply.
And that just the way the cookiecrumbled.
FX put our show on and Sunday inPhiladelphia on and they could
bring back one of the two showsand we were doing the same
number of viewers, but ouraudience for starved was so
across the board.

(32:08):
It was, I would meet an 80 yearold black men that would say, I
love your show.
13 year old girls, 50, 60 yearold.
So many people identifiedbecause it was, my stuff has
heart like it or not.
It has heart.
And, and in Philadelphia waslike 13 to 50, 49 year old boys.
Like it was right up thedemographic.

(32:29):
They could bring back one show.
They brought back that and notmine.
So I try not to focus on mylife.
Had I been the one they broughtback, but just.
You know, you could look at itthat I would have sold in
syndication for 200 million.
I would have become, you know,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Or maybe because I was such acrazy, fragile, emotional being

(32:51):
at that time in my life, Imight've driven my car off Moho
and drive and died.
Like who the hell knows?
Like I was out of my mind whenwe were making that show.
All this stuff was emotionally.
So I try to look at life andthis is to answer your question
that like, I don't know what'sgood for me.
Like I need to leave it to thepowers that be out there and be

(33:13):
so grateful that I'm sittingwhere I'm sitting with two knock
on wood, healthy, gorgeouslittle girls.
Right.
Knock on wood.
I'm, I'm healthy enoughseemingly to be okay.
I still get to do this stuff.
I have a roof over my head andGod only knows what would have
happened to me had I gotteneverything I asked for, you

(33:33):
know, really?
Because so the way that I'vekept going through all of that,

yeah,

Eric S (33:40):
because at two in the morning when you're lying there,
when you look on, listen, Istill, my lower self, I still
don't watch anything that.
That FX puts out, like I hadstill, I'm angry from 25 years
ago, like, and I'm an idiot.
I'm an idiot, but it's like, butthen again, why do you want to
go to the house of someone wholike murdered your family?
Like, I don't want to go todinner there.
So like, in a way I do thinkit's understandable.

(34:04):
You know, I'm also grateful FXdid my show seven episodes.

Yeah.
Like

Eric S (34:09):
what if they'd never done the seven episodes?

So

Eric S (34:11):
like, I'm going to have to look at life.
I choose to look at life under acouple ideas.
One is I don't want to die.
The pain that you're talkingabout of being ripped open and
eviscerated.
And because of

burned all of that

Eric S (34:31):
while on a degree of a pinprick to soul annihilation,
depending on what it is, isstill not nearly As painful as
lying in bed at night and nothaving had the guts to try.

Oh my God.
Mic drop.

Eric S (34:49):
That's, that's the equation.
If I die and I was too afraid totry and risk that feeling, is
that better than risking,trying, and having that feeling
a thousand times over?
And the answer is no, it's not.
I want to leave it all out onthe playing field.

(35:10):
I will tell you that having donemy plan of being 63, making all
the stuff I've made, now havingkids, not having the burning
desire necessarily like I did tocreate, while I, although I do
still want to do it.
The, the trouble is that'sallowed voices to penetrate that

(35:32):
never used to penetrate.
So when you ask me, how did Ikeep doing it?
It's because I had blinders.
And even though I would be hurtthat that happened, I'd say,
fuck you, fuck you.
Fuck you.
I'm going to make the next one.
Cause I want to, cause I'mgreat.
That's how I had to feel.
Michael Jordan misses 20, youknow, it's just how they are.

(35:54):
It's a shooter mentality.
Michael Jordan.
There was a great commercialwhere Michael Jordan, like best
basketball player of all time.
It was like Michael Jordan, likedidn't make his, his varsity
high school team.
Michael Jordan has missed like athousand shots.
Michael Jordan, like, butbecause he dared all that.
He's the greatest basketballplayer.
Like no one looks at all, youknow, so I just had those

(36:17):
blinders on that.
I didn't give a fuck at the endof the day.
I don't deeply believe any ofthat on the surface level, my
ego will get hurt.
But when I really think when I,and listen, I have a prayer
meditation practice and a yogapractice for 40 years.
Like, so what do I do?
You know, I don't drink or dodrugs.
I, you know, I, I pray, Imeditate, I try to help people

(36:38):
like that's, that's the kind of.
That's what I do.
I mean, I'm bad at it,

but I try.
But we'll earmark that because,you know, the way you say, yeah,
I do this and this and for 40years.
I mean, we'll get into that.
But what I, I really hear islike pitting fear against fear.
Like, I'm terrified to putmyself out there after they just
shredded me and broke my heart.
I'm scared of that, but I'mgoing to pit it against my own

(37:06):
fear.
I'm more afraid of getting tothe end.
And never having tried, it'slike you pit your own fear
against itself, which, and it'sweighing which is the greater,
which weighs more, and it's the,it's the pain of regret, not the
pain of the process.
I think the weightier

Eric S (37:28):
100%, oh my god, but you didn't try?
Yeah, yeah.
You didn't try because you wereafraid that someone was going to
say I don't like you?
Like

Yeah.

Eric S (37:34):
Again, I don't mean to put anybody down.
It does suck, you know, and as Isaid,

it stops most of us.
That's fear.

Eric S (37:41):
Most human beings.
And it's starting to stop me.
And it's even starting to stopme a little more because I've
allowed, as I told you, like thewhole setup has sort of been
achieved.
Lucky enough to have twobeautiful kids and a, a
wonderful relationship, youknow, wife.

Yes.

Eric S (37:56):
And yes, I want to make stories, but it's not the
burning desire.
Like I never made a movie and I,how could I die with never
having made a movie?
It's not that so as a result,and then you add in fucking
social media and the computerand how quickly they can get to
you, you know, and that it's inyour home, like it's, they're
talking to you in your home,right?
It's some dude sitting at thetable saying that shit to you.

(38:17):
Cause it's on your computer,right?
and you're sitting in yourunderwear and it's the most
intimate.
You're naked.
Literally, and you read that andthen you have to go to bed and
it's in your head, right?
So like I've allowed that shitto get to me and because I know
I can't deal with it.
I'm off the internet I'm off theinternet.

Well, I love that choice.
I love that it's A life on yourterms and in terms of the fear
and what you're doing now itsounds to me from what you
shared.
The idea was to do exactly Whatyou're doing right now the two
miracles that are somewhere inthe next room your wife your
family This home this life youhave built with possibly the two

(38:56):
most magically delicious girlsYou know, is, is the fulfillment
of something that you set out todo.
And it did, I imagine, look andfeel something like this.
So yes and

Eric S (39:11):
no.
I mean, like relationship stuff,you know, like my wife's
fantastic human being.
But, and the kids are great, butno, and that's what I want to
write about now because that'snot out

there.
What's the no?
It doesn't

Eric S (39:23):
look anything.
It doesn't really look.
The heart is exactly what Ithought it would be, but the
logistics, nothing like Ithought it would be.
What's the

difference?
What's the biggest difference?

Eric S (39:34):
Well, like I had no idea how hard it was to raise
children and have a long termrelationship with a woman, for
me, with a woman.
My choice.
I had no idea and that love allthe shit that I write in my
movie I hate to say I feel likeI was a crack pusher that thing
got sober.
It's like people all fall.
It's so God It's so achinglyromantic.
I'm like, yeah, but none ofthat's true Believe what I was

(39:57):
saying.
I was a child.
I didn't understand anything.

We were looking for love in all the wrong places.
We were addicts.
It like

Eric S (40:05):
love, whatever.
And then it's like sex, how sexchanges and that kind of
intimacy, intimacy with, andwomen are never told, like women
are never told anything aboutit.
Like, and I know that because mywife's like, no one told me that
I didn't, I wouldn't want tohave sex.
For five years because I havebabies crawling on my breath,
you know,

like she didn't

Eric S (40:22):
know that

right,

Eric S (40:23):
like, and then no men know that because no women know
that.
And so no men are like thatwhole joke of well you're
married now you'll never getlaid again let's like.
And that's like some dumb joke,but like when it's really just
like, so like sex and intimacywith a long term relationship,
kids, the screaming when theyscream and they don't do what
you want.
It's like you love them, but yetit's just, it's nothing like

(40:45):
what I thought it would be.
well then, but then when youlook at that and you want to
start start crying, that's whatI knew.
That's true.

He's holding up a little baby tennis shoe.
He's holding up a tennis shoe.
Yeah.

Eric S (40:55):
Right.
So when you see that and youstart weeping, that adds up one
for one.
Like that's what I thought itwould be.
And that's what it is.
But and that's just the love,the love.
It's beyond people say it'sbeyond even someone who is as
capable of love as I was.
You don't get it.
It's to the nth degree of that.
They're right.

(41:16):
Like, you don't get it.
So that's, like, true.
But everything else is like afucking shit show.
So that's what I'd like to writeabout.
That's what I want to

write about.
The disparity between what youthought when you were writing
those love stories and what itactually is.

Eric S (41:35):
Well, yeah, and what it is because a lot of people, I
think, would get help from that.
They'd be like, oh my god.
Yes.
So I'm not defective and awfulbecause I have these feelings
about my relationship and mykids, you know, but see, the
thing that's tricky is kids aretricky because writing about
kids and writing about, causewe're all as we should be
hypersensitive about kids.

(41:56):
So it's a slippery slope toreally speak as honestly as I
would like to.
It's not a slippery slope.
You can't do it.

You can't

Eric S (42:05):
do it.

Yeah.

Eric S (42:06):
And, and it's a shi You could do it, but, and it would
help a lot of people,

but it usually won't end well for the family.
I would imagine.
No,

Eric S (42:15):
it won't help.
No, no, no.
I mean, it won't help.
No, I don't mean that.
Forget that.
Well, there's that too.
I don't want shit to be outthere that my kids get right.
Is that what you mean?

Yes.
They'll

Eric S (42:24):
see that.
I felt that way.
Right.
There's that.
I wasn't even thinking of that.
I was thinking about the wholesort of cancel culture before
you even get there.
Like, I mean, if people were,you know, when I wrote
hyperbolically and a book Iwrote in 2007 called, I Can't
Believe I'm Still Single, Iwrote a hyperbolic passage about
He was the most dated

man on the internet in the year.
Was it 2000?
The highest, high, what was it?
You literally had the The most

Eric S (42:51):
Number one most like, yeah, yeah.
But, but I, but I cheated to

get that.
Like the number one person inthe dating world eligible
bachelor on the planet.
Like literally this is adistinction that you can have
with dating sites and datingapps and in the world of, online
dating.
And Eric, literally, I rememberwe were in a Starbucks and you
told me, you're like, uh,strangely I've been crowned.
I've been crowned.
Yeah.
No,

Eric S (43:14):
no, no, but I had cheated.
I cheated.
I had cheated because the waythat you get, and I did it as
like a crazy lark just because Iwanted to, that if you click, if
someone views your profile,that's how you get to be number
one.
The amount of people that viewyour profile and nobody was
viewing my profile, I couldn'tget a date.
So, but how do you, how do youview someone's profile if they

(43:39):
view you?

Oh, okay.
So you tripped the system.
You went and you clicked onthousands.

Eric S (43:47):
I spent 15 hours a day for six months.
Clicking, clicking, clicking,housewife, six year old
housewife in Kentucky, click,click.

And this was for a show.
This was to create a showaround, by the way, for our
listeners and viewers.
You were doing this as part,this was an art project for you
too, because then you were intalks with a network about a
dating show starring you and Iforget, I forget why I did it,
why did I do it?
Why did I do it?
Why did I do it?
Why did I do it?

Eric S (44:18):
Like, sadly, I, I had that amount of time.
I'd wake up bleary eyed at twoin the morning and just put in
an hour of clicks.
Like I'd wake up in the night

just to see if you could, just to see if you could
rise to the top.
That's credible.
Yeah.
And I rose

Eric S (44:28):
50th, 30th, 12th.
I had a hard time getting overnumber two.
Number one, the unseating, thereal number one.
'cause he was like, you know,great guy.
Like he was a great guy.

Talk about blinders on that guy,

Eric S (44:41):
Anyway, so it's like, you know, look, I, again, I've
wasted so much time beingnegative, you know, but I guess
it is true because a lot of usfeel this way.
And a lot of us feel like we cango down these dark holes, you
know, and, and it's, I guess,important to know that other
people do that because when youask, how do you keep going with
all that?
I guess it's just that I hadthis, um, like we said, like my

(45:03):
desire and my belief deep downin the quiet moment when you put
your hand on your heart and theother one on your belly, and you
just breathe deeply.
And you go, is that true thatI'm terrible and that my movie
sucked?
Like do I think that?
And I go, no, I thought my moviewas really good.
And then I go, well, do you wantto make another one?

(45:24):
I'm like, yeah, I really wantto.
And in that moment, then youstand up and, and walk again.
But I don't know.
There's no way to teach that.
You might, I might be done.
Like I might be like, you know,I don't, but here's another, um,
kind of formula.
When I think, Oh, I don't haveany more stories to tell, you
know what I mean?
I'm like, I've told them it'sfine.

(45:47):
Then I think, okay, what ifRobyn said, Hey, I found this
like angel investor and he lovesyour work and he loves my work.
And if there's something we wantto do together, I could give you
2 million to make your nextfilm.
Do you have any story you'd wantto tell?
I'd be like, fuck yeah, I do.

Yeah.

Eric S (46:03):
So when I use that.
Bye.
Bye.

Yeah.

Eric S (46:06):
When I use that as like the formula for am I really
done?
It's like, of course I'm notdone.
So then you have to askyourself, well, why am I saying
I'm done?
And it's because I'm scared.
You've been saying you're done

though since I met you.
Have you not had the jargon?
Like, I'm when there have beentimes where there has been a
kind of a blow.
I think maybe we've all donethat.
This might not be personal toyou, but there is that sort of
aftermath of like, I'm done.
I'm out of here.
We don't mean it.
No,

Eric S (46:33):
it's like, no, it's like asking a boxer who, a boxer who
just got his face beat up Areyou going to retire?
Yeah, I'm going to retire.
And but so when I asked myselfagain, I put myself to that
paradigm.
Do I want to stop because I'mtoo scared of getting beat up?
And the answer is no, I don't.
So listen, logistically, becauseof the kids in my life and my

(46:54):
lack of money, it might take mea little while, but I have a
couple of projects that I'msuper excited about.
And, and hopefully they canshare anything.

Can you share about any of them?
Uh, these projects, alreadyshared one of you

Eric S (47:06):
and you're, well, you're gonna like, listen.
So I've had this idea for a longtime, knock on wood.
It hasn't, no one else has doneit yet.
Um, but this idea for this TVanimated show called acting like
animals, where.
Our world is exactly like it is,but the, but animals are the

(47:27):
human beings, the human beingsare the animal.
So in the way that the wokething, the radical right, the
radical left, all this stuff,uh, animal cruelty, all this
stuff we do in this show, it'sanimals.
Dogs are the people that walkand talk.
And there's a hierarchy ofanimals that are the good

(47:49):
animals and the privilegedanimals and the ones that are
the minority animals.
But like, for instance, like,you know, if they're, if they're
testing Revlon's testingperfume, it's a baby, a human
baby stapled to the wall withits eyes opened.
And they're dripping perfume inits eyes to see if it'll scream
or not.

(48:10):
Like it's dark as fuck.
Right.
And, and the dog characters arelike Johnson and Johnson and
like DuPont.
And like, so that's what I wantto do because, and there's also
my sort of my humor in it and mysocial sexual.
Frank conversation.
We're going to have to go, Oh,this seems so obvious, but now I

(48:30):
can see how we act is likeridiculous as a human.
And the fact that I'm criminal,not criminal, is a criminal
morality, sex, trans bathrooms,like all the shit, right?
Like that's going on in ourworld.
That's dividing us.
Hopefully my, my hope is, isseeing it in this world, flipped

(48:51):
up side down that people will,and it seems so obvious, but
we'll go, Oh, wait a minute.
I'm acting crazy to have thatpoint of view, or I need to
listen to like, we need to havea conversation.
Like
in the olden days, see, I'm old enough that you could
have a different political view.
And if it wasn't somethingawful, like a fucking pedophile

(49:12):
kid murderer, like who youdon't, you know, that that's
out.
But if it's someone who was justvoting for someone different,
you could have, you'd be friendswith them.
So I was like up where I go fora run every day and there was
like a guy with a pickup truckand he had, he was a carpenter
and he was 60 my age and had adog and we started chatting and

(49:33):
then I noticed he had like acamouflage Harris Walsh hat on.
So they, they put out thesecamouflage hats like, so, Hey,
you can be a manly hunter andstill vote for Kamal.
And he had this hat on and I,listen, I have all kinds of
centrist views.
I just want a world where peopleare happy and love each other.
Like some.
right and left.

(49:54):
So anyway, I had this instantthought of like, well, don't
talk to this fucking guy Andthen I thought, wait a minute,
like he's a nice guy.
We're having a niceconversation, like who gives a
fuck that he's going to votefor, for whoever.
And I didn't vote for Trump andI didn't vote for Harris, but
I'm just saying like, and Ithought if someone like me who
comes from a world of, of whenyou're allowed to have

(50:14):
differences and that's the wholeway it works is we have
differences and we talk about itand that's our only way out.
If someone like me has thebrainwashing just recently to
like, have the instinct to go,fuck it, don't talk to this guy.
Imagine people that are younger,like it's not their fault.
They're raised in this world.
Their, their brains are just.

what do you want to tell the world?
and, or what are you tellingyour children about this?
what do you tell people?
What do you tell people?

Eric S (50:44):
Like, just be kind, be kind, be kind and listen, walk a
mile in the other guy's shoes,all those things like that.
You learn, right?

Yeah.

Eric S (50:52):
Like be kind, help people look at yourself.
When I get angry at somebody, Iconsider, Oh, how do I do that?
Like the wise person.
That's what they say.
They don't, they're, they'resmart enough not to realize it
has nothing to do with you thatI'm mad at you.
It's that I do that myself.
And I have to look at, Oh God,am I selfish?
I can be a selfish prick.

(51:14):
I can be a really generousperson, but I can be really
selfish and really selfcentered.

When people can't see that, like you can, Are you
a proponent of getting help, ofseeking, help, doing whatever we
can, mental health.
So yes.
Yeah.

Eric S (51:29):
All of it.
All of it.
Because who, especially now.
You, you're, you're, you're, youcan't be out of this unscathed.
You can't be raised as a humanbeing in our culture and not be,
and get out of it unscathed,like you're scathed, like we're
all scathed.
So it's like therapy.
If you're have a 12 stepprogram, if, if that's for you,

(51:49):
if you, if you have a yoga,prayer, meditation.
I don't give a, I don't give afuck what it is.
Yeah.
But it's gotta be something.

What's a day in the life for you in inside of your
highest values and havingcongruency in your life, Like
what is a day in the life foryou these days?

Eric S (52:07):
Okay, so I'll like, you know, I, I wake up at, when the
kids wake us up at like 5, 5 30.
You know, and, and I wish I had,I could wake up before them and
pray and meditate and like takea cold shower and go for a run.
I wish I had the willingness todo that at 4am because I'd be a
much better human being and I'myou and Jeff

Goldblum.
I talked to Jeff Goldblum afterhe had, uh, He has two little
boys who aren't as littleanymore, but, He's been doing
transcendental meditation fordecades and decades, and, um, a
very rich spiritual life, andwould meditate every single day
until He had children and I was,you know, I asked him, what, how
does it, what does that looklike?

(52:47):
And he's like, Oh, we don't, Idon't, I don't, I don't, I
don't, I don't, I don'tmeditate.
Uh, so he, like you is sort ofmet with the must do's of the
morning and the essential thingsthat have to happen.
And sometimes, well, it soundslike all the time, it's your
children's.
Basic needs and beyond thatwould take precedence over

(53:09):
meditating.
Well,

Eric S (53:11):
but it's that, yes, but it's weighing the couple hours
of, of decompressed timewatching TV the night before
against, Wait, like what's goingto serve me better.
Can I zone out for two hours andwatch poker on TV or do
something at the end of the dayto chill?
Because if I do that, then Ican't wake up at 4am or 5am.

(53:33):
So I wish.
And so both are valid.
Like anyone who like you getthrough the like intensity of
the day.
I want to just have two hours tojust zone out on TV.
But if I do that, then I needenough sleep that gets me up at
five, not at, or at six, not atfour, right?

(53:53):
Not at not.
So I wish I had the willingnessto not do that two hours and
just, just see what happened.
Like wake up, do that two hoursin the morning, doing all this
stuff to get emotionallyprepared and spiritually
prepared.
I haven't had that willingnessyet.
And I keep saying, trying to putit out.
I wish I did.

Though, it seems like from what you shared about
this, you know, ineffable thelove that, um, sort of
overwhelms your life withchildren, that that in itself is
a prayer, is a meditation.
That love that you experience,unlike anything and beyond
anything from before, it's likethat, that infusion into your

(54:34):
life, it's like that, that isoft times, Why I, you know, sit
down to pray or meditate, it'slike, I want to be filled with
that love.

Eric S (54:43):
but the problem is that I'm like, you know, I'm, I'm a
radically imperfect person andhave my own triggers and stuff
from my own childhood.
And obviously when you havekids, it's right in your face.
You have these.
Not flashbacks, but whateverhappened to you
and
you say, I'll never be angry like my dad.
I'll never be whatever.

(55:05):
And
then of course you are, you have to be, there's no way
for you not.
And so the only way to not be isto like set myself up with a
rigorous introspection andvisualization of how I'm not
going to be like that in themoment.
And sometimes you can't do itbecause it triggers a trigger.
I mean, meditation is puttingspace between that, you know,

(55:27):
putting space.
So like reaction.

And so when

Eric S (55:29):
my daughter screams, no I have a visceral, like, how do
I find the space to not go stopit?
Or I'm your father.
Listen to me.
I know that's not effective.
It's not helping her.
It's not helping me.
Like in the moments when I do,when I get angry, like anybody

(55:50):
does.
And so no amount of love forthem, this supersedes it.
It's like a built in wiring.
Like I've spent 40 years, liketrying to fix myself and I've
made some marginal you know,progress.
So that's what I mean.
Like, that's not going to, allthe love in the world is not
going to change that.

(56:10):
It's actually going to be worse.
Cause then I'm going to feelmore like a schmuck.
When I yelled at this poorlittle five year old girl, who's
like, That's what she's supposedto be doing.
She's supposed to It's like herDNA and her brain.
She's supposed to yell no

yeah.

Eric S (56:24):
I'm supposed to be the adult and know that she's
supposed to yell no to me.

Yeah.

Eric S (56:28):
You know, and not back at her.

Yeah.

Eric S (56:30):
But you don't know that because you know it, but, but
your body tells you, Don't yellat me.

yeah.

Eric S (56:37):
So I'm saying like, it takes such effort and I, and so
I, I wanna try not to watch twohours of mindless television to
decompress at night.
yeah.
And try to wake up earlier tolike really get prepared and in
a, in a good place.

Yeah.

Eric S (56:52):
So that when I know what's gonna come down the pike
is them yelling no.
about getting dressed or runningthe opposite way, that I have a
better chance not to act likethat.

And what a beautiful intention to put out
there.
Like, I'm going to get better atthis.
I think for all of us, justdoing it and trying again and
getting a little better and, andtaking those daily steps, like
that's how we ultimately kick itdown the road.
And so listening to you, Eric,it's like, It's so amazing,

(57:23):
like, your humanness and justhow I, I can imagine people
listening who have kids or don'thave kids, but they're on the
merry go round of life.
They're in the rodeo.
It's full on.
And, and that you do have, be,create all that you do within
the course of any given day andover the course of your life.

(57:45):
It's like extraordinary.
And I, I just want to, like,Like, do you ever acknowledge,
how do you acknowledge yourself,like, do you ever have time to
just be like, yeah, cause Ithink that's something that goes
missing for people, creatives ornon creatives, but there's this
like, I'm gonna keep going, I'mputting it out there, I'm

(58:06):
putting out all this stuff, butLike, when you were sharing,
like, all the things that youdo, and, you're providing, and,
getting through the day, and youwake up, and there they are, and
you still have projects thatyou're gonna put out there, and
do you ever give yourself, like,Hey, I did that.
I done good here.
that kind of pat on the back, doyou allow?

(58:26):
Cause I am over here, I'm justlike, I just wanna hug you and
be like, you're amazing.
Like, I'm like over here, I'mlike, I'm like, Who does all
this?
Like, Who?
Nobody.
Like, who does all this?
And for people who are listeningwho are also like, you're like
in the midst of thisextraordinary life experience
and I just want to be like, ohmy god, like, well done.

(58:49):
Hey, well done.
Well done.
And I think, you know, I thinkthe world needs that.
You know, we're in the rat raceon the hamster wheel, right?
It's like, go, go, go, which isso dysregulating, right?
To the central nervous system toalways be on a hamster wheel.
So it's like, ah, I just really,I just want to like acknowledge

(59:09):
you and And if you don't, willyou take time on the daily to
acknowledge yourself and theunique and beautiful and amazing
and dynamic.
contribution that you are to theworld and to the people that are
in your world.

(59:29):
Like, do you take time to dothat?

Eric S (59:32):
Well, thank you for saying that.
I mean, listen, I 20 timesduring our talk today.
You're like the best at allthis.
So like you're, you're all thequestions you asked to me,
you're, you're, that's why Istarted off by being so inspired
by you.
You are I mean, you're, you'redoing so much of, of like you're
living your dreams and alwaysunfailingly that it's just, you

(59:53):
know, that's why I'm so inspiredby you because you don't, I
can't imagine you ever feel, youknow, by anything because you're
so in the solution of likeliving your dreams all the time.
You're the most positive personI've ever met.
The difference

Robyn Cohen (01:00:11):
though, Eric, and thank you for saying that the
difference is, um, it's taken acouple of decades for the mask
to become the woman.
They say the mask becomes theman.
Okay.
And you know, so much of thispodcast, which was inspired by
my late brother, who before hepassed, wished for me that I be

(01:00:34):
happy in my life.
That I have happiness in lifebecause he had figured out when
he was facing death that that'sall it was about.
And at the time, um, I didn't, Ididn't know what authentic joy
really was.
I was really good at putting joyout there as an extrovert.

(01:00:58):
I'm really an extrovertedhomebody, but as an extrovert, I
could put that energy out there.
But it was for me at the time,it was desperation energy.
It was seeking approval energy.
It was having to get everyone tolike me energy to pick me to
cast me.
To say yes to me, because I didnot know how to say yes to

(01:01:19):
myself.
And so I had outsourced all ofthat love, approval, power, I
just outsourced it.
And I'll tell you, Hollywood,New York, it's not a good place
to outsource your power toHollywood.
They're not a good system for reparenting.
And giving us the love that wesomehow felt like we needed more

(01:01:40):
of.
Um, so, you know, this, thisshow is in honor of my brother.
And what I have discoveredabout, you know, fulfilling upon
what he wished for me, this joy,and how do you do that truly,
deeply, authentically.
And so, And thank you forsharing that I occur to you that

(01:02:01):
way And, you know, there's beensuch a transformation in finding
congruency.
That the outer and the inner,you know, come together is right
now like my highest value.
and it's, It's useful for me tobe able to take in even what you
just said and just be like, ah,I have for decades of my life

(01:02:26):
not been able to take any ofthat in.
I just kept hurting myself andharming myself and how could I
have done that better and Imessed that up and focusing,
putting the blinders on thething that didn't go well, the
person that said no, the peoplethat didn't like me or worse.
And so it's like, I love havingthis conversation with you
because it's like, the theradical, human ness and ups and

(01:02:50):
downs of your experience thatyou're willing to share.
And it's like, yeah, we're allgoing through it and talking to
you.
I feel just, I feel so comfortedand just like less alone knowing
that you have for 40 years beenseeking your higher power, your
best self, your gurus, yourspirituality, your practices,

(01:03:15):
You're pausing between stimulusand response.
Like, I'm just right there withyou and I'm amazed and excited
and delighted to know that, yes,when we are, as you shared in
the midst of the roller coasterand when it just all seems like

(01:03:35):
utter chaos, that we can keepon.
and set as you did as a young 20something year old cab driver
like the power of setting anintention, man, I'm just so
present to that, because we'regoing to go through it and life
is going to life and sometimeslife is lifing like you get to a

(01:03:56):
point you're like, I don't knowif I can take more life.
And then it just keeps lifing.
And then there's just more.
life is lifing non stop.
And it's, uh, it's a gift and a,just an honor to be in your
presence, to know that you havemanaged to, you know, take life
as it lifes and be like, let's,let's go, let's go.

(01:04:17):
Cause it's worth it.
And it matters to make the worlda better place.
And it matters to, allow myselfthe grace to, yeah, I'm going to
watch TV for two hours and I'mnot going to meditate because,
because, because, and allowingourselves that grace.
Because in the background, thereis that intention.
There is that intention.
Like I'm not going to be stoppedby fear.

(01:04:39):
So what are you intending, Eric,for the next 50 years?

Eric S (01:04:46):
Hold on.
I'm just, I'm just telling Sarahthat she should pick up the kids
because we're talking.

Yes.
Yes.
Yes.

Eric S (01:04:52):
Well, so this is classic, right?
So this is, I think I can share.
So this is like what I'm talkingabout.
So she was going to get thekids.
And then she just sent this.
she just sent me, hey, I justrealized I forgot the car seats.
Can you please get them help?

Oh, Sarah, I love Sarah so much.
I've had the joy of sitting withEric and Sarah for dinner in New
York City.
She's the best.

Eric S (01:05:17):
We're on a five minute clock now

we gotta Alright.
Alright.
So

Eric S (01:05:20):
I have a hard out now in, in five minutes.

Perfect.
Okay.
So we were just talking about,tell me what's on the horizon
for the next 50 years.

Eric S (01:05:28):
So, well, to, to your question, so I don't, I, I think
on a, on an overall, like I wastalking about in my, in my, just
like baseline, in my soul.
I think I allow myself, um,compliments for a job well done.
I think baseline deep within me.
I think I do that.
I think I, again, my higher selfknows that there's a lot of

(01:05:52):
people out there that havereally gotten a lot from my
creative work.
Yes.
I know that.

like literally it fills stadiums and stadiums of
people.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Eric S (01:06:02):
Right.
And I know that even though Idon't see them and can't really
believe that's something I doknow that so deep into my soul,
I know that, and that makes mefeel good because I only ever
wanted to help people and makepeople feel good about all of
us.
That's like the only thing Iever wanna do.
And so why, and that's why I'mso hurt when people say that's

(01:06:23):
not what I'm doing and that it'snot their experience of me.
Like that's why it hurts somuch.
Cause I care so deeply aboutwanting to just make everyone
feel good about all of us.
It's your highest

value.
It's your value.
Yeah.
It's your highest value.
100%.

Eric S (01:06:37):
Well, that's why I'm so hurt when, uh, for whatever
reason, that's not theexperience.
And again, I get people aren'tgoing to like it, don't think
I'm funny, don't like it.
they're not your

people.
They're not your people.
There's 8 billion people on theplanet.
But

Eric S (01:06:48):
whatever, it's fine.
And there's nothing wrong withthem.
Of course.
There's nothing wrong with mefor, for liking one thing and
not the other.

Yeah.

Eric S (01:06:54):
But I'm just saying why I get so hurt when it's so like
angry and mean spirited isbecause it's hard for me to
know, Hey, it's not about, it'sso about them.
And they're just saying.
a mirror to themselves, theyshould just be like the work of
Byron Katie, like anyone whodoesn't know Byron Katie, like
that's, that's the be all andend all, right?
It's never used to turn it off.

(01:07:15):
How am I like that?
And all good spiritual?
They all say that.

Yeah.
And is it really true?
Is it really true?
100%?
I'd be absolutely sure that it'strue that everybody can I be
absolutely 100 percent surebeyond a shadow of a doubt.
No, I can't because I'm not God.

Eric S (01:07:34):
And also, so they shouldn't say that to me.
And you turn around, I shouldn'tsay this to them.
They shouldn't say mean thingsto me.
Well, I shouldn't say meanthings to them.
They're allowed to say what theywant.
They're, they're a human being.
They have the, they're allowedtheir opinion.
So, so anyway, that is like, youknow, So I do allow myself that

(01:07:54):
to know,

and can experience your wholeness, your value.

Eric S (01:07:58):
to, what I have to fight against is going down the rabbit
hole of regret and sadness that,that more people aren't able to
see my work because of juststuff.
Not me, not getting stuff showspicked up and movies being made
and stuff.
So I have to protect against.
Going down a pity party of, Oh,I've failed in my life, you

(01:08:22):
know, and instead look at, well,wait, I'm still in rarefied air.
Uh, one millionth of a percentof people ever got to make one
movie that they, they ached tomake, you know?
So trust me, like I get it.
I'm very lucky, but I'm alsohate to lose and I'm very
competitive and, and, and I feelthat if more people could see

(01:08:44):
this stuff, they'd like it.
So like, I allow myself that,you know, I'm working on the
animals project.
I think what I'm going to do ismake it into a comic book.

Brilliant.
Okay.
You heard it here.
You heard it here, y'all.
Yeah, yeah, We're gonna make it

Eric S (01:09:01):
into a comic book and then hope it gets traction as a
comic book graphic novel to thenbecome a series.

Oh, that's so good.
So

Eric S (01:09:08):
that's what we're trying to do.
Okay.

All right.
With that, Eric, if people wantto find you, And get in touch
with you and talk creatively.
How might they do that?
Not on social media?

Eric S (01:09:22):
Well, you know, I do have a, a YouTube page.
I did a bunch of poker videos,which we didn't talk about funny
poker videos.
I think some of my movies are onthere.

Okay.
I think

Eric S (01:09:31):
on Vimeo, I have a public Vimeo page.

Okay.
Okay.
So

Eric S (01:09:35):
someone went on YouTube and like poked around and said,
Eric Schaeffer, YouTube.
They come to like an EricSchaeffer page, and I think they
could like comment on somethingand forgive me if you do.
And I don't get back to youright away.
Cause I don't really check it alot.
I'll like check and see somebodywrote me three months ago and
say, you know, I'm your biggestfan from Venezuela.

(01:09:56):
I'm like,

right.
Well, you have to pick up yourkids as you do right now.
You had to pick up your kids oryou would have, you would have
replied.

Eric S (01:10:03):
hopefully My ramblings didn't look like, you know, get,
I think I'm on cancelable.
I I got canceled before any getcanceled, so I, I don't know
that I can get canceled.

No, the universe won't allow for it.
I love you.
I love you and I, again, the fthis is the first of what I hope
will be a series of you and meon this show.
Well,

Eric S (01:10:23):
I would love that.
And, um, because it's the onlytime I get to talk to you, but,
and that by next hour I would.
Why not all about your life?

that next time.
Yeah, we're going to swapstories.

Eric S (01:10:32):
We'll be asking you all these questions because your
audience.
Needs to hear all about you.
And so I'm, I'm uniquelyqualified to ask questions about
you because I've known you for,for 25 years.
Alright?
It's on.
I love

you so much.
Thank you so much.
I'm out.
I gotta get the kids.
This is phenomenal.
I'll hug your children for me,hug your bride, and here's a hug
for you, which was to my MacBookAir, but I mean it for you
specifically.
Thank you so much.
This is such a blessing.

Eric S (01:10:56):
I'm gonna call you right now to download.
I can't wait.
Okay.
I'm scared.
Like publish any of this anyway.

All right.
All right.
Love you too.
Thank you, Eric.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Thank you wonderful ones forjoining me on this electric joy
ride with Eric Schaeffer.
Wow.
Today's convo reallydemonstrated the immense
potential within all of us andthe monumental power we have to
chase, to reach and to live outour dreams.
Let's keep this incredible taxicab driver to TV celebrity

(01:11:26):
success story going bysupporting Eric's breakthrough
project acting like animals.
Visit his Kickstarter previewpage acting Like Animals.
a comic book series about adarkly funny dystopian world
where animals are in charge andhumans are the animals.
Just click the Notify Me onLaunch Button on the page.
And when it launches early May,you'll be among the first to

(01:11:49):
snag a copy of the comic bookand join the Acting Like Animals
Community.
speaking of resplendent phenomcommunities, don't forget to
email me to save your spot.
For the free introductory actingclass happening online Tuesday,
April 1st at 6:00 PM Pacific.
Just emailRobyn@cohenactingstudio.com.

(01:12:09):
It's all in the show notes.
Whether you're just gettingstarted or revisiting the craft,
I promise you're gonna come awaywith acting technique nuggets
you can take to the bank.
speaking of good bankingpractices, don't miss out on the
early bird pricing for theupcoming six week acting
workshop.
Launching April 8th online andin person.
if you are SVP by April 1st,you're receiving a hundred

(01:12:32):
dollars off the workshop.
So if you're called to dive in,grab a spot stat, and I can't
wait to see you in class.
And last but not least, afterall of this high octane action
for a daily dose of calm andease, Check out my free audio
guide in the show notes, fiveProven Practices to Peace and
Power in under seven minutes.

(01:12:54):
Well, Thank you sports fans fortuning in and if you got
something out of today'sepisode, follow the show,
subscribe, and even better.
Share it with someone who youcan just feel needs to hear it.
And if you have a sec feel freeto leave a review Apple podcasts
so we can spread some moresmiles and amplify this growing

(01:13:14):
community of thriving artists.
Cannot wait to continue theconvo on the next daily joy
ride.
See you there.

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