June 1, 2025 • 27 mins
Are you tired of feeling empty inside despite checking all the boxes of success? Do you find yourself wearing masks, playing roles, and wondering if there's something more to life? You're not alone in this struggle.
The Evolved Men Podcast creates a space for men who are ready to break free from outdated models of masculinity that simply aren't working anymore. As your host, I've walked this path myself—from a life that looked perfect on the outside while I crumbled within, to discovering a more authentic way of being. This isn't about abandoning strength or leadership, but rather integrating those qualities with emotional awareness, connection, and purpose.
What makes this journey so challenging is that many of us were never given the tools, language, or examples needed to evolve. We were taught that men don't need help, don't show emotions, and must handle everything alone. The cost of this approach has been devastating: isolation, numbness, shame, and broken relationships. But there is another way forward.
Each episode brings practical, actionable strategies you can implement immediately—not theoretical concepts but real-world tools I've used with coaching clients and in my own life. We'll explore emotional intelligence, intentional fatherhood, authentic leadership, building meaningful relationships, and doing the inner work around purpose and identity. You'll hear raw conversations with men who've faced burnout, breakdown, or have blown up their lives and what they built from the ashes.
The Evolved Men Podcast isn't just content to consume—it's an invitation to join a brotherhood of men committed to growth. Because when one man rises, he lifts those around him. Visit evolvemenproject.com for free resources to take your next step. Remember, you don't need to be perfect to start evolving. Just 1% better each day is enough to transform your life. Are you ready to lead with confidence, build powerful connections, and live boldly?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the Evolve Men Podcast, episode
number one.
Are you ready to break freefrom hesitation, self-doubt and
isolation?
Do you want to lead withconfidence, build powerful
connections and live boldly?
I'm Cory Baum and I'm here toshare the most impactful
strategies and mindsets thatI've learned through coaching,
leadership and real-worldexperience.
(00:22):
Together, we'll forgeunshakable confidence, master
social dynamics and create alife rooted in purpose,
brotherhood and bold action.
Inside you'll get the tools andinsights to become the
strongest, most connectedversion of yourself.
Let's dive in.
Hey, what's up guys?
Welcome to the Evolve Menpodcast.
(00:44):
I'm your host, Corey Baum.
So this podcast, as we get intothis, is for men who are tired
of pretending right, tired offeeling numb and asking whether
this is it right.
This is built for men who areready to evolve, not just
(01:05):
survive.
This is for men who are readyfor real talk.
No performance, not perfection.
As I say that, it kind ofcracks me up because I've been
through so many renditions ofrecording this podcast just to
begin with right, like trying toget the audio right and the
(01:25):
sound right and the video rightand all of these different
things.
You know that it really isabout just, uh, doing a cut and
putting your word out there,being who it is, who you are,
and letting the chips fall wherethey may, right, um, you know,
(01:45):
I was at a point I will justkind of start it right from the
beginning that, um, I createdthis really because I was at a
place in my life where I, I waslost, right, I was doing all of
the sort of the, all of thethings that you're supposed to
do or you're, you're told allyour life you're supposed to do.
(02:05):
I had, I had a really goodeducation, you know, I had a
long career, I was really smart,I've been doing everything.
I, I had the, the wife and thehouse and all the toys and the
kids, right, and the kids weregoing to go to college and um,
but he, at the end of all ofthat, like I really was still
just asking right, whether, like, why am, why is it that I'm
(02:30):
doing all of this?
Right, and why don't I like,why don't I feel good about
where I'm at?
Right, I'd done everything, Ihad checked all of the boxes, or
at least so I thought, but Istill had this like empty hole,
uh, and I didn't know what it.
I didn't know what the feelingwas.
(02:52):
I didn't know, like I didn'tknow why that was there, I
didn't know how to fix it, Ididn't know how to talk to um
yeah, and so I really kind ofjust in doing my own work, like
I, um, I needed a place where Icould have real honest and raw
(03:12):
conversations.
Right Like too often, uh, I justfeel like those conversations
aren't being had by peoplenearly at all anymore.
Right, the the the peopleactually like connecting heart
to heart and soul to soul andactually sharing what's on their
mind.
Right For, for a lot of my life, right, um, you know, and kind
(03:36):
of going and I feel like this isthe case with a lot of other
guys like for a lot of my life,I had lived, uh, I'd lived, you
know, the the nice guy mentality.
Right Like I was giving to get,I was a people pleaser, um, I
was, you know, seekingvalidation in in every place
(03:59):
that I could possibly find,right, um, through, through any
means sort of necessary.
But at the end of that, rightLike I was still so hollow I I
didn't know what it was like toactually connect with somebody.
Uh, to connect with my wife, toconnect with my kids.
(04:21):
Right, to have deepconversations to to live a life
worth living, right and so, andand that's the same struggle
that a lot of guys go through,and that's something that, uh,
that's a lot of the reason thatthis podcast exists right, for
just real stories.
Uh, learning real tools andexperiencing real growth growth
(04:46):
right, as we go through this,you guys will learn a lot more
about me, but I just want you toknow that this is a lived
experience.
Right, this isn't justsomething that I write about in
a book.
Right, this is something thatI've lived with and experienced
for myself.
(05:08):
One of the things that Istruggled with for the long time
, for the longest time, right,was was this like outdated sense
or like models of masculinity?
Right, I'd been taught all ofmy life growing up that you know
I need to.
I need to be tall and strongand manly, whatever that means,
(05:29):
and I don't need any help.
And men don't show emotions,Right?
Um, one of the one of the whatwas the saying that, uh, I'll
give you something to cry aboutwas a common, was a common
phrase in my household.
Right and so, and that's greatand all, but the problem with
(05:52):
that is that those models thatwe grew up on, right, and maybe
our fathers and our grandparents, like all those things that
were based on.
Like, they're all collapsingRight, we're finding out that
that's not successful in theways that we want and the ways
that matter most to us, and thebigger problem than that is that
(06:13):
nobody told us what to do next,right?
So what are we supposed to donow?
We've got these models thatwe've lived our entire lives
around and they're collapsingand we have no framework to move
forward with.
Right, and unfortunately, a lotof men are struggling silently,
(06:34):
right, they're isolated andashamed and they're stuck in
these patterns that aren'tserving them or their family or
their kids.
Right, they're using porn,they're drinking alcohol,
seeking validations, havingaffairs right, yeah, and the
(06:54):
worst part of all of this, right, is that everybody is doing
this alone, right, kind of alongthat same sort of line that we
were taught that guys don't needhelp.
Right, that you're, you're asissy or you're weak if you seek
out for help.
Right, and we know, we knowthat those aren't working.
(07:21):
Right, men don't evolve alone,they.
We need tools, right, we needlanguage and we need brotherhood
, like too often anymore.
Like, guys are completelydisconnected from most other
(07:46):
senses of of connection withother men, right, the things
that we used to have in the pastthat brought guys together, you
know, back in the day it washigh school and college and
things like that there wassports and there was football
and there was people up and downthe block, right, kids are
playing and they're they'reoutside playing in the dirt and
(08:09):
doing different things Like we.
Just we don't have that anymore, and so we have this real lack
of like guidance, uh, for how tolead, how to feel and and how
to grow as modern men.
Right, and um, I for one, ismyself like I don't know that I
was really given a great examplegrowing up of what it meant to
(08:35):
actually be a man.
Right, like I was, I was maybegiven this like, uh, you know,
kind of watch and hopefully pickup some of those sorts of
things.
But, but, honestly, like, a lotof those models are the things
that I'm talking about arethings that just that I've put
into place and and they weren'tnecessarily having the outcomes
(08:57):
that I've come to to want, right, and to to cherish right, so
kind of along those lines.
Right, I noticed, as I wasdoing all of this work, that, um
, doing a lot of work on myself,right, and I was reaching out
and connecting with other guysand that the I can't, you know,
(09:23):
and guys in general, can't dothis work alone.
Right, we need tools and weneed frameworks and language and
, most of all, like I said, weneed the brotherhood.
Right To be able to run ideasagainst other men.
Right To see how it's showingup for them in their lives and
(09:46):
how they're responding to thisevent and how they were brought
up.
Right, and we need betterreflections of how it is that
we're to be living our lives.
Right.
And this podcast is meant forthat container.
Right, it's a container wherewe can share those sort of
(10:09):
stories, we can learn thosetools and the language and we
can have that brotherhood thatis going to connect us all.
So this isn't meant to betherapy, right.
This isn't meant to be churchor just like macho bootcamp.
This is meant for men who areready to lead, men who are ready
(10:32):
to lead with depth and presenceand integrity, for men who
really want to be proud of theway that they live, that they
love the ones that are aroundthem and how they lead not only
themselves but their familiesand in the community.
(10:54):
Right, it's really like.
How, for men that are that areproud to really like step into a
more modern sense ofmasculinity?
Right, like not completelygetting away?
Uh and this isn't even to saythat like that, there, there
(11:15):
wasn't good things out of thepast that can't still be, you
know, admired or used orcherished or sort of thing.
But we've got to take theinformation from before and put
it with the information that wehave right now and make the best
of all of that, right?
(11:35):
So, most of all, this is menwho are ready to evolve, right,
that they've seen what it wasand they know what they want it
to be, and they just need thehelp in order to get there.
So this podcast is for highachievers that are feeling
burned out or just unfulfilledright.
For fathers that know that theyreally want something more for
(12:00):
themselves and their familiesand their kids, but they don't
have any idea of how to actuallyachieve that or how to get
there.
Right, this is for men who, forall intents and purposes, look
fine, right, like everything ishunky-dory on the outside, but
inside feel empty and hollow andshallow and don't have a sense
(12:22):
of purpose and meaning anddirection in their life.
Right, this is also for leadersthat are starting to realize
that maybe you've got all ofthis power right and you can
stand up there, but you have no,no purpose and you're finding
that it leaves you feelingreally hollow.
So you know, I talked a littlebit about my story, um, but to
(12:48):
dig into it a little bit more,right Like I, I played the role
really well.
Right, I wore the masks, I wasthe husband and the father and
the businessman and such, and Imean I lived it day in and day
out.
On the outside, right, likeeverybody, you know the classic
(13:09):
like social media sort of storywhere on the outside everybody
thinks, like man, you know the,that couple is the happiest they
could ever be, corey's got itall together, or the family does
like they're really goingsomewhere.
Um, and but inside, like I was,I was falling apart, like I was
(13:30):
coming apart of the seams, likeI had I had really, you know,
at the bottom of it, like I hadI can't even say really at a
certain point that I hadbetrayed my values, because I
don't know to an extent that Ihad really ever had them.
Right, I don't know that I Iwas never really given an
(13:54):
opportunity to be like to, tosee, like, hey, this is what
integrity is right, this iscourage, this is these other
things and these are these arewhy it's important to live that
out in life, right, that's whythis is why it's important to
instill this and to to walk withthis every day.
(14:14):
This and to to walk with thisevery day, um, and kind of as a.
As a result of that right, Ibetrayed what values I did have,
right, and myself and my family, um, yeah, and I I numbed out
in any way possible Right, andsome of the most common was porn
(14:38):
.
Um, I avoided conflict Like itwas the plague, right, like I
would do anything to avoid umhaving a hard, having to have a
hard conversation.
Um, I was basically your youknow storybook nice guy and so
(15:01):
for me, right, really, at theend of all of that right, I
lived my entire life with likethat um, not really knowing any
different, and and I reachedthis point, finally, where I
just I'd been faking it to anextent my entire life, right,
(15:22):
and this wasn't something like Inecessarily always knew what
the um, what it was that wasgoing on for me in my own head,
right, but I mean there was time, a lot of times that I did, but
I didn't know.
I just thought that this waswhat men did, right?
They, yeah, like men, watchporn, men had affairs, like our
(15:43):
men.
You know, can't be, um, can'tbe faithful that you know that
this is what guys do.
It's no big deal, right, um?
And so I didn't know what.
I didn't know, right, and but Iknew, finally at a certain
point, that what I was doing wasnot going to be sustainable and
(16:04):
that, you know, it was going totake out everybody around me,
and including myself and myfamily, you know, and, really,
like, I came face to face withthe truth of, more than likely,
like who it was, that I was or Iwasn't.
(16:25):
So, enough about that.
We'll talk about that in someof the future episodes.
But what this podcast is goingto cover, right, this podcast is
going to cover how to feel, howto feel more, not less, right,
like, how to use your emotionsas a tool instead of a weakness,
(16:46):
right?
So how do we, how do we expresshow we're feeling?
How do we connect with otherpeople?
How do we share those sort ofmoments and emotions with our
kids, with our families, withour friends?
Right, it's going to talk aboutfatherhood, especially as it
(17:06):
pertains to like, beingintentional, right, showing up
with presence and strength andleadership at home.
We're going to talk aboutredefining masculinity and
(17:28):
shedding these outdated rulesthat we have and stepping into a
more grounded and powerfulmanhood.
We're going to talk about whatthat looks like, what that
doesn't look like, the ways thatit shows up in our lives and
how we can do that moreauthentically.
Authentic leadership, right.
How to lead your life, yourfamily, your work, your brothers
, right, and those around youwith integrity, right.
(17:50):
So how do we show up in everyaspect of our life with more
leadership and authenticity andintegrity?
We're going to talk aboutbuilding relationships that
matter, right.
Building deeper bonds with yourpartner, with your kids, with
(18:14):
your brothers right, and, mostof all, really yourself, right.
I think too often anymore that Iknow for a lot of my life that
all of my connections were atthe surface.
It was the usual like hey, man,how you doing, I'm good, right
on.
But when I finally started toask the deeper questions, right
(18:38):
it was, it was eyeopening.
Like nobody knew what to do,right, it was like.
It was like I was from aforeign planet, right, and I was
almost like shunned away, um,from doing it.
So, on top of that, also doingthe inner work, right, inner
work around purpose and shame,our identity, developing
(19:00):
discipline and confidence, andlearning what it takes to, what
it takes to really grow right,being intentional about this.
And we're also going to hearabout stories from the edge.
Right, we're going to hear raw,real conversations with men who
have, who have done the samething, who have burned out, who
have broken down right or haveblown up their lives and what it
(19:24):
was that they built from theashes, right.
So some of these episodes aregoing to be, are going to have
real tools and reflections right, there'll be me sharing
frameworks, proven things thatI've learned throughout my
journey, right, with my ownexperiences, with the skills
(19:45):
that I've learned throughcoaching and therapy and such.
There'll also be guestconversations with men who have
evolved right, going throughtheir lives and their examples
and and the ways that that hasshowed up and maybe ways that
they can help support others.
(20:07):
And then it's also going to be,you know, maybe at times, live
coaching calls, right, listenerQ and A's, uh, or some raw, just
group style dialogues the thingthat makes this podcast
different, right, as I'm kind ofstanding here today, right, and
I'll I'll be honest, like thisis.
This is super uncomfortable forme, but I know that if, if I
(20:31):
want to show up and be, uh, mythat, you know I can't always I
don't always get a hundred takesin order to do it.
Right, and so, and that'll beone of the things that set this
podcast apart from the rest isthat there's there's no fluff or
(20:52):
theory in here, right, it'sjust grounded, usable tools.
Right, these are things thatyou can take home tonight, that
I've used with coaching clients,and things that I've learned
that you can put into practiceright away in order to make
changes in your life.
Right, as I was kind of sayingwith the other one is that this
(21:13):
isn't about life.
Right, as I was kind of sayingwith the other one is that this
isn't about perfection.
Right, this is about justhonest evolution, right, like
taking that first step into anew you.
Right, taking that first stepinto that uncomfortable area of
testing, you know, testing whoit is that you can become.
(21:39):
And this isn't just a podcast,right, the other half of this.
So there's the Evolved Menpodcast and then there's the
Evolved Men project, right, andthis isn't just about, this
isn't just about me, and thisisn't about my story, and this
isn't necessarily about coaching, right, this is about coming
(22:00):
together as a community of men,as a movement, if you will, or a
brotherhood, and rising uptogether, right, because,
honestly, when any one man risesup, he brings up the rest of
everyone else around him.
So, what is a?
What is an evolved man?
(22:20):
Right?
An evolved man is, is grounded,he's emotionally aware, he's
clear in his leadership, heholds space for, for pain, um,
and sets boundaries with grace,right, these aren't like.
This isn't the guy that justwalks around super macho and
he's an asshole to everybody,right?
(22:41):
No, he's.
He's strong, he's confident,but he's also soft, right, um,
and he can hold that place forhimself and his family and for
others.
Uh, and he lives from theinside out, right, Not from
external validation.
He lives from a place ofknowing who it is that he wants
(23:03):
to be and then continually andconsistently taking the actions
and doing the things that heneeds to do in order to to have
the things that he wants in hislife, right, the things that are
important to him, you know, andthe reason that this all
(23:24):
matters, right, is that,honestly, most men never get
here, right?
Men, they're born and they diewith their music still in their
hearts, right?
They never, they never.
You know, it's almost thisanalogy of like they go to work
every day, day in and day out,and they never actually let out
(23:49):
or experience who it is, thatthey are right, and even it's
not even that they don't evenshare it with anybody, like they
don't even know it forthemselves, that they've never
explored, they've never askedthe questions, right, because
from a young age they weretaught not to that.
You know that emotions were badand don't cry, don't feel this,
Right?
(24:09):
And so this really matters, andthis is more about liberation
matters.
And this is more aboutliberation, right, liberation
from the old stories that, likeI talked about, about, um, you
know, men don't have emotions,don't cry, all of these other
things and this silent sufferingthat everybody's doing alone,
(24:32):
right?
And so the thing is is that youdon't.
You don't have to man up rightin this in the old sort of way.
You don't have to like do itharder, do it stronger, do it,
you know, faster than everybodyelse.
It's to say that, hey, there's a, there's a new way forward,
right, that we can do this.
(24:53):
We can share our emotions, wecan come together, we can
support each other.
We can, we can.
We can come together, we cansupport each other, we can, we
can do all of that and still bestrong, confident leaders, right
?
Um, so my promise to you guysis I'm doing this right, is it's
?
I'm not this like guru that'sup here posturing up Right, I
(25:18):
don't necessarily have it allfigured out, like I've.
I've had a pretty amazingjourney, from the depths of
where I was at to where I'm attoday.
Like, um, I've learned animmense amount, and those are
the sort of things that I wantto share with you.
Right, I want to hear yourexamples and share where I you
know, where I've been, whereI've come from, where I've
(25:40):
learned, and so it's justrealness, real authenticity,
right, every episode will behonest.
It'll be challenging possibly,at times, but it'll still be
supportive, right?
So my commitment to you guys isjust to be here and to walk the
path with you, right, not tostand up on front of some podium
(26:03):
and tell you that you know,this is what you need to do, and
it's to tell you and to showyou kind of along the way that,
man, I've been there, like Ihave walked the walk, like I've
walked through the shittysituations and I'm here to talk
about it today.
Right, so that's what I've got,um, for this first episode of
(26:28):
the Evolvemen podcast.
I'd really appreciate it if youguys would subscribe and follow
and, most of all, um, just youknow what.
Take.
Take the next step, right, like, this doesn't have to be
perfect, so if there's anythingthat you take away from this
episode today, um, is to to juststart doing the work.
(26:51):
Just take 1%.
Just take one step forward.
Be 1% better every day, allright, so all right, guys, have
a good one.
That's what I got for thisfirst episode.
Bye, thanks for tuning in tothis episode of the Evolve Men
podcast.
If today's episode challengedyou, inspired you or gave you
(27:13):
something to think about, don'tstop here.
Keep building, keep evolving.
Head over towwwevolvemenprojectcom, where
you'll find free resources onconfidence, leadership,
relationships, communication andpersonal power Everything you
need to start applying whatyou've learned here and take
your growth to the next level.
The tools are there.
(27:34):
The next move is yours.
Until the next time, men, staystrong, lead powerfully and live
boldly.
You're listening to the Evolve Men Podcast, episode
number one.
Are you ready to break freefrom hesitation, self-doubt and
isolation?
Do you want to lead withconfidence, build powerful
connections and live boldly?
I'm Cory Baum and I'm here toshare the most impactful
strategies and mindsets thatI've learned through coaching,
leadership and real-worldexperience.
(00:22):
Together, we'll forgeunshakable confidence, master
social dynamics and create alife rooted in purpose,
brotherhood and bold action.
Inside you'll get the tools andinsights to become the
strongest, most connectedversion of yourself.
Let's dive in.
Hey, what's up guys?
Welcome to the Evolve Menpodcast.
(00:44):
I'm your host, Corey Baum.
So this podcast, as we get intothis, is for men who are tired
of pretending right, tired offeeling numb and asking whether
this is it right.
This is built for men who areready to evolve, not just
(01:05):
survive.
This is for men who are readyfor real talk.
No performance, not perfection.
As I say that, it kind ofcracks me up because I've been
through so many renditions ofrecording this podcast just to
begin with right, like trying toget the audio right and the
(01:25):
sound right and the video rightand all of these different
things.
You know that it really isabout just, uh, doing a cut and
putting your word out there,being who it is, who you are,
and letting the chips fall wherethey may, right, um, you know,
(01:45):
I was at a point I will justkind of start it right from the
beginning that, um, I createdthis really because I was at a
place in my life where I, I waslost, right, I was doing all of
the sort of the, all of thethings that you're supposed to
do or you're, you're told allyour life you're supposed to do.
(02:05):
I had, I had a really goodeducation, you know, I had a
long career, I was really smart,I've been doing everything.
I, I had the, the wife and thehouse and all the toys and the
kids, right, and the kids weregoing to go to college and um,
but he, at the end of all ofthat, like I really was still
just asking right, whether, like, why am, why is it that I'm
(02:30):
doing all of this?
Right, and why don't I like,why don't I feel good about
where I'm at?
Right, I'd done everything, Ihad checked all of the boxes, or
at least so I thought, but Istill had this like empty hole,
uh, and I didn't know what it.
I didn't know what the feelingwas.
(02:52):
I didn't know, like I didn'tknow why that was there, I
didn't know how to fix it, Ididn't know how to talk to um
yeah, and so I really kind ofjust in doing my own work, like
I, um, I needed a place where Icould have real honest and raw
(03:12):
conversations.
Right Like too often, uh, I justfeel like those conversations
aren't being had by peoplenearly at all anymore.
Right, the the the peopleactually like connecting heart
to heart and soul to soul andactually sharing what's on their
mind.
Right For, for a lot of my life, right, um, you know, and kind
(03:36):
of going and I feel like this isthe case with a lot of other
guys like for a lot of my life,I had lived, uh, I'd lived, you
know, the the nice guy mentality.
Right Like I was giving to get,I was a people pleaser, um, I
was, you know, seekingvalidation in in every place
(03:59):
that I could possibly find,right, um, through, through any
means sort of necessary.
But at the end of that, rightLike I was still so hollow I I
didn't know what it was like toactually connect with somebody.
Uh, to connect with my wife, toconnect with my kids.
(04:21):
Right, to have deepconversations to to live a life
worth living, right and so, andand that's the same struggle
that a lot of guys go through,and that's something that, uh,
that's a lot of the reason thatthis podcast exists right, for
just real stories.
Uh, learning real tools andexperiencing real growth growth
(04:46):
right, as we go through this,you guys will learn a lot more
about me, but I just want you toknow that this is a lived
experience.
Right, this isn't justsomething that I write about in
a book.
Right, this is something thatI've lived with and experienced
for myself.
(05:08):
One of the things that Istruggled with for the long time
, for the longest time, right,was was this like outdated sense
or like models of masculinity?
Right, I'd been taught all ofmy life growing up that you know
I need to.
I need to be tall and strongand manly, whatever that means,
(05:29):
and I don't need any help.
And men don't show emotions,Right?
Um, one of the one of the whatwas the saying that, uh, I'll
give you something to cry aboutwas a common, was a common
phrase in my household.
Right and so, and that's greatand all, but the problem with
(05:52):
that is that those models thatwe grew up on, right, and maybe
our fathers and our grandparents, like all those things that
were based on.
Like, they're all collapsingRight, we're finding out that
that's not successful in theways that we want and the ways
that matter most to us, and thebigger problem than that is that
(06:13):
nobody told us what to do next,right?
So what are we supposed to donow?
We've got these models thatwe've lived our entire lives
around and they're collapsingand we have no framework to move
forward with.
Right, and unfortunately, a lotof men are struggling silently,
(06:34):
right, they're isolated andashamed and they're stuck in
these patterns that aren'tserving them or their family or
their kids.
Right, they're using porn,they're drinking alcohol,
seeking validations, havingaffairs right, yeah, and the
(06:54):
worst part of all of this, right, is that everybody is doing
this alone, right, kind of alongthat same sort of line that we
were taught that guys don't needhelp.
Right, that you're, you're asissy or you're weak if you seek
out for help.
Right, and we know, we knowthat those aren't working.
(07:21):
Right, men don't evolve alone,they.
We need tools, right, we needlanguage and we need brotherhood
, like too often anymore.
Like, guys are completelydisconnected from most other
(07:46):
senses of of connection withother men, right, the things
that we used to have in the pastthat brought guys together, you
know, back in the day it washigh school and college and
things like that there wassports and there was football
and there was people up and downthe block, right, kids are
playing and they're they'reoutside playing in the dirt and
(08:09):
doing different things Like we.
Just we don't have that anymore, and so we have this real lack
of like guidance, uh, for how tolead, how to feel and and how
to grow as modern men.
Right, and um, I for one, ismyself like I don't know that I
was really given a great examplegrowing up of what it meant to
(08:35):
actually be a man.
Right, like I was, I was maybegiven this like, uh, you know,
kind of watch and hopefully pickup some of those sorts of
things.
But, but, honestly, like, a lotof those models are the things
that I'm talking about arethings that just that I've put
into place and and they weren'tnecessarily having the outcomes
(08:57):
that I've come to to want, right, and to to cherish right, so
kind of along those lines.
Right, I noticed, as I wasdoing all of this work, that, um
, doing a lot of work on myself,right, and I was reaching out
and connecting with other guysand that the I can't, you know,
(09:23):
and guys in general, can't dothis work alone.
Right, we need tools and weneed frameworks and language and
, most of all, like I said, weneed the brotherhood.
Right To be able to run ideasagainst other men.
Right To see how it's showingup for them in their lives and
(09:46):
how they're responding to thisevent and how they were brought
up.
Right, and we need betterreflections of how it is that
we're to be living our lives.
Right.
And this podcast is meant forthat container.
Right, it's a container wherewe can share those sort of
(10:09):
stories, we can learn thosetools and the language and we
can have that brotherhood thatis going to connect us all.
So this isn't meant to betherapy, right.
This isn't meant to be churchor just like macho bootcamp.
This is meant for men who areready to lead, men who are ready
(10:32):
to lead with depth and presenceand integrity, for men who
really want to be proud of theway that they live, that they
love the ones that are aroundthem and how they lead not only
themselves but their familiesand in the community.
(10:54):
Right, it's really like.
How, for men that are that areproud to really like step into a
more modern sense ofmasculinity?
Right, like not completelygetting away?
Uh and this isn't even to saythat like that, there, there
(11:15):
wasn't good things out of thepast that can't still be, you
know, admired or used orcherished or sort of thing.
But we've got to take theinformation from before and put
it with the information that wehave right now and make the best
of all of that, right?
(11:35):
So, most of all, this is menwho are ready to evolve, right,
that they've seen what it wasand they know what they want it
to be, and they just need thehelp in order to get there.
So this podcast is for highachievers that are feeling
burned out or just unfulfilledright.
For fathers that know that theyreally want something more for
(12:00):
themselves and their familiesand their kids, but they don't
have any idea of how to actuallyachieve that or how to get
there.
Right, this is for men who, forall intents and purposes, look
fine, right, like everything ishunky-dory on the outside, but
inside feel empty and hollow andshallow and don't have a sense
(12:22):
of purpose and meaning anddirection in their life.
Right, this is also for leadersthat are starting to realize
that maybe you've got all ofthis power right and you can
stand up there, but you have no,no purpose and you're finding
that it leaves you feelingreally hollow.
So you know, I talked a littlebit about my story, um, but to
(12:48):
dig into it a little bit more,right Like I, I played the role
really well.
Right, I wore the masks, I wasthe husband and the father and
the businessman and such, and Imean I lived it day in and day
out.
On the outside, right, likeeverybody, you know the classic
(13:09):
like social media sort of storywhere on the outside everybody
thinks, like man, you know the,that couple is the happiest they
could ever be, corey's got itall together, or the family does
like they're really goingsomewhere.
Um, and but inside, like I was,I was falling apart, like I was
(13:30):
coming apart of the seams, likeI had I had really, you know,
at the bottom of it, like I hadI can't even say really at a
certain point that I hadbetrayed my values, because I
don't know to an extent that Ihad really ever had them.
Right, I don't know that I Iwas never really given an
(13:54):
opportunity to be like to, tosee, like, hey, this is what
integrity is right, this iscourage, this is these other
things and these are these arewhy it's important to live that
out in life, right, that's whythis is why it's important to
instill this and to to walk withthis every day.
(14:14):
This and to to walk with thisevery day, um, and kind of as a.
As a result of that right, Ibetrayed what values I did have,
right, and myself and my family, um, yeah, and I I numbed out
in any way possible Right, andsome of the most common was porn
(14:38):
.
Um, I avoided conflict Like itwas the plague, right, like I
would do anything to avoid umhaving a hard, having to have a
hard conversation.
Um, I was basically your youknow storybook nice guy and so
(15:01):
for me, right, really, at theend of all of that right, I
lived my entire life with likethat um, not really knowing any
different, and and I reachedthis point, finally, where I
just I'd been faking it to anextent my entire life, right,
(15:22):
and this wasn't something like Inecessarily always knew what
the um, what it was that wasgoing on for me in my own head,
right, but I mean there was time, a lot of times that I did, but
I didn't know.
I just thought that this waswhat men did, right?
They, yeah, like men, watchporn, men had affairs, like our
(15:43):
men.
You know, can't be, um, can'tbe faithful that you know that
this is what guys do.
It's no big deal, right, um?
And so I didn't know what.
I didn't know, right, and but Iknew, finally at a certain
point, that what I was doing wasnot going to be sustainable and
(16:04):
that, you know, it was going totake out everybody around me,
and including myself and myfamily, you know, and, really,
like, I came face to face withthe truth of, more than likely,
like who it was, that I was or Iwasn't.
(16:25):
So, enough about that.
We'll talk about that in someof the future episodes.
But what this podcast is goingto cover, right, this podcast is
going to cover how to feel, howto feel more, not less, right,
like, how to use your emotionsas a tool instead of a weakness,
(16:46):
right?
So how do we, how do we expresshow we're feeling?
How do we connect with otherpeople?
How do we share those sort ofmoments and emotions with our
kids, with our families, withour friends?
Right, it's going to talk aboutfatherhood, especially as it
(17:06):
pertains to like, beingintentional, right, showing up
with presence and strength andleadership at home.
We're going to talk aboutredefining masculinity and
(17:28):
shedding these outdated rulesthat we have and stepping into a
more grounded and powerfulmanhood.
We're going to talk about whatthat looks like, what that
doesn't look like, the ways thatit shows up in our lives and
how we can do that moreauthentically.
Authentic leadership, right.
How to lead your life, yourfamily, your work, your brothers
, right, and those around youwith integrity, right.
(17:50):
So how do we show up in everyaspect of our life with more
leadership and authenticity andintegrity?
We're going to talk aboutbuilding relationships that
matter, right.
Building deeper bonds with yourpartner, with your kids, with
(18:14):
your brothers right, and, mostof all, really yourself, right.
I think too often anymore that Iknow for a lot of my life that
all of my connections were atthe surface.
It was the usual like hey, man,how you doing, I'm good, right
on.
But when I finally started toask the deeper questions, right
(18:38):
it was, it was eyeopening.
Like nobody knew what to do,right, it was like.
It was like I was from aforeign planet, right, and I was
almost like shunned away, um,from doing it.
So, on top of that, also doingthe inner work, right, inner
work around purpose and shame,our identity, developing
(19:00):
discipline and confidence, andlearning what it takes to, what
it takes to really grow right,being intentional about this.
And we're also going to hearabout stories from the edge.
Right, we're going to hear raw,real conversations with men who
have, who have done the samething, who have burned out, who
have broken down right or haveblown up their lives and what it
(19:24):
was that they built from theashes, right.
So some of these episodes aregoing to be, are going to have
real tools and reflections right, there'll be me sharing
frameworks, proven things thatI've learned throughout my
journey, right, with my ownexperiences, with the skills
(19:45):
that I've learned throughcoaching and therapy and such.
There'll also be guestconversations with men who have
evolved right, going throughtheir lives and their examples
and and the ways that that hasshowed up and maybe ways that
they can help support others.
(20:07):
And then it's also going to be,you know, maybe at times, live
coaching calls, right, listenerQ and A's, uh, or some raw, just
group style dialogues the thingthat makes this podcast
different, right, as I'm kind ofstanding here today, right, and
I'll I'll be honest, like thisis.
This is super uncomfortable forme, but I know that if, if I
(20:31):
want to show up and be, uh, mythat, you know I can't always I
don't always get a hundred takesin order to do it.
Right, and so, and that'll beone of the things that set this
podcast apart from the rest isthat there's there's no fluff or
(20:52):
theory in here, right, it'sjust grounded, usable tools.
Right, these are things thatyou can take home tonight, that
I've used with coaching clients,and things that I've learned
that you can put into practiceright away in order to make
changes in your life.
Right, as I was kind of sayingwith the other one is that this
(21:13):
isn't about life.
Right, as I was kind of sayingwith the other one is that this
isn't about perfection.
Right, this is about justhonest evolution, right, like
taking that first step into anew you.
Right, taking that first stepinto that uncomfortable area of
testing, you know, testing whoit is that you can become.
(21:39):
And this isn't just a podcast,right, the other half of this.
So there's the Evolved Menpodcast and then there's the
Evolved Men project, right, andthis isn't just about, this
isn't just about me, and thisisn't about my story, and this
isn't necessarily about coaching, right, this is about coming
(22:00):
together as a community of men,as a movement, if you will, or a
brotherhood, and rising uptogether, right, because,
honestly, when any one man risesup, he brings up the rest of
everyone else around him.
So, what is a?
What is an evolved man?
(22:20):
Right?
An evolved man is, is grounded,he's emotionally aware, he's
clear in his leadership, heholds space for, for pain, um,
and sets boundaries with grace,right, these aren't like.
This isn't the guy that justwalks around super macho and
he's an asshole to everybody,right?
(22:41):
No, he's.
He's strong, he's confident,but he's also soft, right, um,
and he can hold that place forhimself and his family and for
others.
Uh, and he lives from theinside out, right, Not from
external validation.
He lives from a place ofknowing who it is that he wants
(23:03):
to be and then continually andconsistently taking the actions
and doing the things that heneeds to do in order to to have
the things that he wants in hislife, right, the things that are
important to him, you know, andthe reason that this all
(23:24):
matters, right, is that,honestly, most men never get
here, right?
Men, they're born and they diewith their music still in their
hearts, right?
They never, they never.
You know, it's almost thisanalogy of like they go to work
every day, day in and day out,and they never actually let out
(23:49):
or experience who it is, thatthey are right, and even it's
not even that they don't evenshare it with anybody, like they
don't even know it forthemselves, that they've never
explored, they've never askedthe questions, right, because
from a young age they weretaught not to that.
You know that emotions were badand don't cry, don't feel this,
Right?
(24:09):
And so this really matters, andthis is more about liberation
matters.
And this is more aboutliberation, right, liberation
from the old stories that, likeI talked about, about, um, you
know, men don't have emotions,don't cry, all of these other
things and this silent sufferingthat everybody's doing alone,
(24:32):
right?
And so the thing is is that youdon't.
You don't have to man up rightin this in the old sort of way.
You don't have to like do itharder, do it stronger, do it,
you know, faster than everybodyelse.
It's to say that, hey, there's a, there's a new way forward,
right, that we can do this.
(24:53):
We can share our emotions, wecan come together, we can
support each other.
We can, we can.
We can come together, we cansupport each other, we can, we
can do all of that and still bestrong, confident leaders, right
?
Um, so my promise to you guysis I'm doing this right, is it's
?
I'm not this like guru that'sup here posturing up Right, I
(25:18):
don't necessarily have it allfigured out, like I've.
I've had a pretty amazingjourney, from the depths of
where I was at to where I'm attoday.
Like, um, I've learned animmense amount, and those are
the sort of things that I wantto share with you.
Right, I want to hear yourexamples and share where I you
know, where I've been, whereI've come from, where I've
(25:40):
learned, and so it's justrealness, real authenticity,
right, every episode will behonest.
It'll be challenging possibly,at times, but it'll still be
supportive, right?
So my commitment to you guys isjust to be here and to walk the
path with you, right, not tostand up on front of some podium
(26:03):
and tell you that you know,this is what you need to do, and
it's to tell you and to showyou kind of along the way that,
man, I've been there, like Ihave walked the walk, like I've
walked through the shittysituations and I'm here to talk
about it today.
Right, so that's what I've got,um, for this first episode of
(26:28):
the Evolvemen podcast.
I'd really appreciate it if youguys would subscribe and follow
and, most of all, um, just youknow what.
Take.
Take the next step, right, like, this doesn't have to be
perfect, so if there's anythingthat you take away from this
episode today, um, is to to juststart doing the work.
(26:51):
Just take 1%.
Just take one step forward.
Be 1% better every day, allright, so all right, guys, have
a good one.
That's what I got for thisfirst episode.
Bye, thanks for tuning in tothis episode of the Evolve Men
podcast.
If today's episode challengedyou, inspired you or gave you
(27:13):
something to think about, don'tstop here.
Keep building, keep evolving.
Head over towwwevolvemenprojectcom, where
you'll find free resources onconfidence, leadership,
relationships, communication andpersonal power Everything you
need to start applying whatyou've learned here and take
your growth to the next level.
The tools are there.
(27:34):
The next move is yours.
Until the next time, men, staystrong, lead powerfully and live
boldly.
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