June 23, 2025 • 20 mins
“What part of today’s episode hit home? Let me know.”
Talking Points: inherited masculinity, performed identity, authentic manhood
What if the way you’ve been living as a man isn’t actually your own definition of manhood? Most men unknowingly operate from inherited or culturally imposed identities—doing everything “right” yet still feeling disconnected. This exploration breaks down the three versions of manhood many men experience: the inherited man shaped by survival and tradition, the performed man trying to fit a modern image, and the evolved man who leads with authenticity, presence, and emotional maturity. The path forward isn’t about fixing yourself or playing a better role—it’s about dropping the performance entirely and defining what masculinity truly means to you.
***
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to the Evolved Men Podcast, episode
number four.
Are you ready to break freefrom hesitation, self-doubt and
isolation?
Do you want to lead withconfidence, build powerful
connections and live boldly?
I'm Cory Baum and I'm here toshare the most impactful
strategies and mindsets thatI've learned through coaching,
leadership and real-worldexperience.
(00:20):
Together, we'll forgeunshakable confidence, master
social dynamics and create alife rooted in purpose,
brotherhood and bold action.
Inside you'll get the tools andinsights to become the
strongest, most connectedversion of yourself.
Let's dive in.
Welcome to the Evolved MenPodcast.
(00:40):
I'm your host, cory Baum.
This is where we talk about thereal work of becoming the man
that you were made to be.
Today, I want to sit with aquestion that most men never
have been asked, or, if theyhave, they answered it with
someone else's voice.
And that question is this whatdoes being a man mean to you?
(01:01):
And that question can land likea stone.
For some, it can bring upsilence, confusion, maybe
resistance.
It's not a question with aclean, clear answer for most of
us, but here's what I know Ifyou don't define what being a
man means for you, then you'llend up performing someone else's
(01:22):
version of it.
If you don't choose itconsciously, you'll just absorb
it by default, usually from theculture, your family or whatever
you saw growing up.
And if you don't lead yourselfinto manhood on your own terms,
you'll always feel like you'vegot something to prove right.
So today we're not going totalk about what you're supposed
(01:45):
to be.
We're going to talk about whatit means to be a man on your own
terms real terms, and whathappens when you start living
like that.
There's a moment in almost everyman's life where something
doesn't sit quite right.
He might not have the words forit, but he can feel it.
(02:06):
It shows up as that low,restless hum that you just can't
shake, Like something's missingbut you can't quite name it.
Like you're moving but notactually going anywhere.
Numb, disconnected, pushinghard but with no clear reason
(02:26):
why.
He's doing everything that he'ssupposed to do.
He's showing up providing,maybe even succeeding, but
something is just off inside.
And here's what I've seen overand over again that man isn't
broken, he's just in conflict.
He's in conflict with a versionof manhood that he never chose.
(02:48):
Maybe that's you, or maybeyou've felt that version of
yourself in the past.
It doesn't matter how old youare, how much you've achieved or
what stage of life that you'rein.
If you don't consciously definewhat it means to be a man, your
life will become this ongoingaudition.
So let's pause the performance,let's get under the noise and
(03:13):
let's rebuild something honest.
Let me offer you a lens.
Most men are walking aroundwith an inherited, unexamined or
outdated definition of manhoodand they're measuring themselves
against it every single daywithout even realizing it.
That definition might come fromyour father, your stepdad, a
(03:38):
military figure or coach, maybesocial media or movies or music,
religious upbringing or simplythe absence of a male role model
altogether.
It might say the real men don'tcry.
The real men never ask for help.
The real men keep theirfamilies afloat.
Real men have lots of sex.
(04:00):
Real men don't get tired, orreal men just push through.
Now, was all of that wrong?
No, not necessarily right.
Some of it has real valuestrength, commitment, direction.
But the problem is this If yourdefinition of manhood isn't
(04:21):
yours, then you'll never be atpeace with it.
You'll be acting, you'll beperforming, trying to measure up
instead of rising from within,and there's a difference between
being admired and beinganchored.
So here's the deeper invitationlet's stop chasing a title
(04:49):
invitation.
Let's stop chasing a title.
Let's stop auditioning forapproval.
Let's walk through the threeversions of manhood that show up
in nearly every man's life sothat you can see where you're
living from and what it mightlook like to lead yourself
forward.
There's three patterns that Isee again and again in the men
that I've coached.
And they're not labels, they'renot boxes right, they're
(05:10):
mirrors, and they should be usedthat way.
The first version is theinherited man.
Most of us didn't choose thekind of man that we became.
Not at first.
We learned it by watching, byabsorbing, by surviving, and it
probably happened early.
You didn't sit down at 16 andwrite out a code of masculinity
(05:34):
for yourself.
You just became what you saw.
You got rewarded for what keptyou safe.
Maybe it was the strong, silenttype, maybe it was the
responsible one, the provider,the do-it-all-yourself man, or
maybe it was the guy who didn'trock the boat, who kept the
peace, who made sure thateveryone else was okay, even if
(05:56):
he wasn't.
You learn that some parts of youweren't welcome and that some
weren't Anger.
Maybe that was dangerousSadness, that was weak
Tenderness.
It's too much Curiosity, adistraction.
Love, sure, only, but if onlyit didn't make you soft, right.
(06:18):
So you learned that took theparts of yourself away.
You adjusted, you performed,you made it work and, let's be
honest, some of that worked.
For a while you built a life.
You held it together and, let'sbe honest, some of that worked.
For a while you built the lifeyou held it together, maybe even
got pretty far, but eventuallysomething just feels off, not
(06:39):
broken, just tight, right, small, like a version of you that
hasn't grown in years.
It shows up in the quiet andthe tension that you carry in
your chest and the way that youhesitate to speak, what's really
on your mind and how exhaustedthat you are from holding it all
together.
And you start to feel the gap,the gap between the man that you
(07:02):
are and the man that you'reactually allowed to be.
And the more that you notice it, the harder it is to unsee.
You look around and you realizethat most of this identity that
you didn't actually choose, youjust inherited it and maybe it
helped you survive for a time,but it won't help you become
whole, because the man that youinherited can only carry so much
(07:27):
.
He was built for a differentseason.
He's missing parts of you, realparts, your wonder, your
softness, your full range ofemotions and somewhere inside
this quiet question starts togrow Is this really who I am, or
just who I was trained to be?
(07:48):
And that question, that's thebeginning of something new.
So the second version is theperformed man.
This guy isn't asleep at thewheel, he's awake, he's been
doing the work, or at least he'sbeen trying to.
He reads the books, he's goneto the workshops, he's had a few
breakthroughs, he knows enoughto see what he inherited around
(08:13):
manhood and to see that itdoesn't work anymore, that it's
outdated, it's narrow, that itdoesn't fit the full weight of
who he is.
And yet, instead of tearing itdown and asking like, what do I
actually believe?
What do I actually want, hejust trades it in for a newer,
(08:34):
shinier model, something moreconscious, seemingly upgraded
version of masculinity.
And it looks good, right?
He starts saying all the rightthings, he stops numbing out, he
builds routines, he takes coldshowers.
He stops numbing out, he buildsroutines, he takes cold showers
, he tracks macros, he doesbreath work, he talks about
(08:54):
purpose, he shows up strong andhe leads with this masculine
energy.
And don't get me wrong, none ofthat's bad.
The problem is that it's stilljust a performance.
It's still about doing what hethinks he should do, to be a man
still chasing some image ofwhat's right.
The pressure hasn't necessarilygone away.
(09:16):
It's just been dressed up.
He's no longer trying to be thetough guy, the provider, the
stoic rock like his dad was.
Now he's trying to be theconscious leader, the grounded
king, the integrated alpha Somesame chase, just a different
costume.
And here's the hardest part Evenwhen it works, when people
(09:40):
admire him, when women are drawnto him, when he starts making
money or getting recognition, itstill doesn't land.
It still doesn't feel like hisBecause deep down, it's still
not coming from within, it's notrooted.
It's effortful, sure, right,like holding up a structure that
(10:03):
keeps swaying.
He feels it in quiet momentswhen the routines break or the
feedback stops or no one'swatching, that subtle question
of what am I actually doing this?
For?
Who am I trying to impress?
What would it be like to stopperforming and just be me?
(10:24):
And the truth is he doesn'tknow, because he's built a life
on looking the part.
He's become so good at beingthe man that he's supposed to be
that he hasn't actually stoppedto ask it if he even wants to
be that man.
And here's the thing.
This isn't failure, this is theedge.
(10:46):
This is the moment where thingsstart to crack open, because
when the performance starts tofeel empty, that's not a sign
that something's wrong.
It's a sign that something realis ready to come through.
He doesn't need to hustle forhis worth.
He doesn't need to beimpressive to be powerful.
(11:07):
He needs to start listening tothe deeper voice inside of him,
the one that isn't chasingapproval or scripting every move
, the one that already knows whohe is if he's willing to just
stop performing long enough tohear it.
That's where authority starts,not the kind that you earn from
(11:31):
others, the kind that you buildinside.
So the third version is theevolved man.
You don't meet this man everyday, not because he's better
than anyone else, but becausethe road to becoming him is
quiet, internal, not aboutstatus, not about show.
He's not about chasingvalidation.
(11:54):
He's just done abandoninghimself.
This man has stopped performing, stopped pretending, stopped
bending himself into whateverversion of masculinity the world
hands him.
He's not trying to prove thathe's strong, because he knows
that he is, because he's facedhis own darkness.
He's failed.
(12:15):
He's taken real hits and hedidn't run.
He stayed in the fire longenough to learn from it.
That's what makes him different, not that he's unshakable, but
that he's not afraid to beshaken and still stand in who he
(12:35):
is.
He doesn't need to dominate aroom, but at the same time he
won't disappear either.
He knows how to hold space andhe knows how to hold a boundary,
not with force, but withclarity.
He doesn't suppress emotion, hejust doesn't outsource it
either.
Right, he's learned to feel thefull range of grief and joy,
(13:00):
rage and love and stay steadyinside of it.
He's learned that strengthwithout heart is hollow and that
sensitivity without spine justwon't hold.
He listens, not to wait histurn, but to actually hear.
He speaks when it matters, andwhen he does, you feel it, not
(13:21):
because it's loud, but becauseit's true.
This man doesn't lead withbravado, he leads with presence,
and presence doesn't requireexplanation, it doesn't need
applause, it's just felt.
And here's the thing that mostmen don't really realize that he
(13:42):
didn't become this wayovernight.
He didn't take a course, checkthe boxes and arrive right.
He chose this over and over.
In the dark, in the doubt, inthe slow, the unforeseen moments
, when no one was watching.
He let go of the performance,he laid down the armor and he
(14:02):
built something better in itsplace.
Integrity, because the evolvedman isn't perfect.
He's whole.
He knows where he's strong, heknows where he's still learning.
He knows where he's stilllearning, and he's honest about
both.
He doesn't shrink, but hedoesn't posture either.
(14:24):
He doesn't need to win everyroom that he walks into, but
when he walks in, somethingshifts, not because he demands
respect, but because he respectshimself.
This is what real leadershipfeels like Not loud, not showy,
but grounded and steady andclear.
(14:46):
And when you're around a manlike that, you don't feel
smaller, you feel safer, morehonest, more at home in yourself
, and that's the ripple of anevolved man.
He doesn't just change his life, he changes the space around
him.
So let's stop here for a second,because I want to ask you
(15:08):
directly who taught you what itmeans to be a man?
What do you really think aboutthat?
I want you to really take amoment and ponder that.
What did they say, eitherdirectly or indirectly?
(15:33):
What did you witness?
What did they reward?
What did they punish?
What did you decide that youhad to be in order to be good
enough as a man?
And now are you still livingunder that definition?
Is it shaping your choices,your relationships, your
reactions?
Does it leave room for youractual truth?
And if it doesn't, are youwilling to choose something new?
(15:57):
So here's where everythingchanges.
You don't become a man byticking off boxes.
You don't become a man byacting confident, sounding
strong or copying someone else'sidea of what leadership looks
like.
You become a man when you stopoutsourcing it, when you stop
performing and you startlistening, when you stop
(16:19):
reaching out and start turninginward, and that's when things
shift, because manhood isn'tsomething that you earn, it's
not a prize, it's not a rolethat you graduate into after
enough pain or reps or goldstars.
It's a relationship, arelationship with yourself, with
(16:39):
truth, with responsibility, and, like any real relationship,
it's alive.
It grows when you show up forit, it deepens when you're
honest and it strengthens whenyou stop hiding.
Being a man isn't a destination, it's a practice, and it's how
(17:01):
you respond when things fallapart.
It's how you carry yourselfwhen no one is watching.
It's the moment that you choosecourage over comfort, not for
show, but because it's the rightthing to do.
The more honest that you get,the clearer it becomes.
The more aligned that you arewith what actually matters to
(17:24):
you, the less that you need toprove you stop chasing and you
start embodying, and that's wheneverything starts to change.
So here's what I want you to dothis week.
It's simple, but it's far fromeasy.
I want you to take 10 minutesno distractions, no noise, no
(17:54):
social media, no music, just you, a pen and a piece of paper and
this one question what doesbeing a man mean to me right now
, in this season of my life?
And I want you to write it outNot what you think you should
say, not what sounds noble, notwhat you'd post on Instagram.
What does it actually mean toyou today?
(18:17):
And then look at how you'reliving, look at your calendar,
your relationships, your energy,your habits, your thoughts,
your posture, your tone, yourinner dialogue and how you talk
to yourself and ask yourself amI living in alignment with the
(18:37):
man that I say?
That I am?
And that question isn't thereto shame you.
It's there to invite you,because you get to choose again
Right now, right here.
That's leadership, that'sfreedom and that is manhood.
(19:00):
All right, guys.
So that's what I've got forthis episode of A Man's Guide to
Self-Mastery.
It's a really powerful place tostart, and if you want to talk
through what's showing up foryou in your life right now, book
a free discovery call with me.
We'll get real about what it isthat you want and what it's
going to take to become the manthat you're meant to be Always.
(19:23):
Guys, leave a five-star review,follow this show and share it
with someone, and if somethingin this episode sparks something
for you, drop a comment.
I read every one of them andthat's how this message spreads,
one man at a time.
Thanks for tuning in to thisepisode of the Evolved Men
Podcast.
If today's episode challengedyou, inspired you or gave you
(19:45):
something to think about, don'tstop here.
Keep building, keep evolving.
Head over towwwevolvedmenprojectcom, where
you'll find free resources onconfidence, leadership,
relationships, communication andpersonal power Everything you
need to start applying whatyou've learned here and take
(20:05):
your growth to the next level.
The tools are there.
The next move is yours.
Until the next time, men, staystrong, lead powerfully and live
boldly.
You're listening to the Evolved Men Podcast, episode
number four.
Are you ready to break freefrom hesitation, self-doubt and
isolation?
Do you want to lead withconfidence, build powerful
connections and live boldly?
I'm Cory Baum and I'm here toshare the most impactful
strategies and mindsets thatI've learned through coaching,
leadership and real-worldexperience.
(00:20):
Together, we'll forgeunshakable confidence, master
social dynamics and create alife rooted in purpose,
brotherhood and bold action.
Inside you'll get the tools andinsights to become the
strongest, most connectedversion of yourself.
Let's dive in.
Welcome to the Evolved MenPodcast.
(00:40):
I'm your host, cory Baum.
This is where we talk about thereal work of becoming the man
that you were made to be.
Today, I want to sit with aquestion that most men never
have been asked, or, if theyhave, they answered it with
someone else's voice.
And that question is this whatdoes being a man mean to you?
(01:01):
And that question can land likea stone.
For some, it can bring upsilence, confusion, maybe
resistance.
It's not a question with aclean, clear answer for most of
us, but here's what I know Ifyou don't define what being a
man means for you, then you'llend up performing someone else's
(01:22):
version of it.
If you don't choose itconsciously, you'll just absorb
it by default, usually from theculture, your family or whatever
you saw growing up.
And if you don't lead yourselfinto manhood on your own terms,
you'll always feel like you'vegot something to prove right.
So today we're not going totalk about what you're supposed
(01:45):
to be.
We're going to talk about whatit means to be a man on your own
terms real terms, and whathappens when you start living
like that.
There's a moment in almost everyman's life where something
doesn't sit quite right.
He might not have the words forit, but he can feel it.
(02:06):
It shows up as that low,restless hum that you just can't
shake, Like something's missingbut you can't quite name it.
Like you're moving but notactually going anywhere.
Numb, disconnected, pushinghard but with no clear reason
(02:26):
why.
He's doing everything that he'ssupposed to do.
He's showing up providing,maybe even succeeding, but
something is just off inside.
And here's what I've seen overand over again that man isn't
broken, he's just in conflict.
He's in conflict with a versionof manhood that he never chose.
(02:48):
Maybe that's you, or maybeyou've felt that version of
yourself in the past.
It doesn't matter how old youare, how much you've achieved or
what stage of life that you'rein.
If you don't consciously definewhat it means to be a man, your
life will become this ongoingaudition.
So let's pause the performance,let's get under the noise and
(03:13):
let's rebuild something honest.
Let me offer you a lens.
Most men are walking aroundwith an inherited, unexamined or
outdated definition of manhoodand they're measuring themselves
against it every single daywithout even realizing it.
That definition might come fromyour father, your stepdad, a
(03:38):
military figure or coach, maybesocial media or movies or music,
religious upbringing or simplythe absence of a male role model
altogether.
It might say the real men don'tcry.
The real men never ask for help.
The real men keep theirfamilies afloat.
Real men have lots of sex.
(04:00):
Real men don't get tired, orreal men just push through.
Now, was all of that wrong?
No, not necessarily right.
Some of it has real valuestrength, commitment, direction.
But the problem is this If yourdefinition of manhood isn't
(04:21):
yours, then you'll never be atpeace with it.
You'll be acting, you'll beperforming, trying to measure up
instead of rising from within,and there's a difference between
being admired and beinganchored.
So here's the deeper invitationlet's stop chasing a title
(04:49):
invitation.
Let's stop chasing a title.
Let's stop auditioning forapproval.
Let's walk through the threeversions of manhood that show up
in nearly every man's life sothat you can see where you're
living from and what it mightlook like to lead yourself
forward.
There's three patterns that Isee again and again in the men
that I've coached.
And they're not labels, they'renot boxes right, they're
(05:10):
mirrors, and they should be usedthat way.
The first version is theinherited man.
Most of us didn't choose thekind of man that we became.
Not at first.
We learned it by watching, byabsorbing, by surviving, and it
probably happened early.
You didn't sit down at 16 andwrite out a code of masculinity
(05:34):
for yourself.
You just became what you saw.
You got rewarded for what keptyou safe.
Maybe it was the strong, silenttype, maybe it was the
responsible one, the provider,the do-it-all-yourself man, or
maybe it was the guy who didn'trock the boat, who kept the
peace, who made sure thateveryone else was okay, even if
(05:56):
he wasn't.
You learn that some parts of youweren't welcome and that some
weren't Anger.
Maybe that was dangerousSadness, that was weak
Tenderness.
It's too much Curiosity, adistraction.
Love, sure, only, but if onlyit didn't make you soft, right.
(06:18):
So you learned that took theparts of yourself away.
You adjusted, you performed,you made it work and, let's be
honest, some of that worked.
For a while you built a life.
You held it together and, let'sbe honest, some of that worked.
For a while you built the lifeyou held it together, maybe even
got pretty far, but eventuallysomething just feels off, not
(06:39):
broken, just tight, right, small, like a version of you that
hasn't grown in years.
It shows up in the quiet andthe tension that you carry in
your chest and the way that youhesitate to speak, what's really
on your mind and how exhaustedthat you are from holding it all
together.
And you start to feel the gap,the gap between the man that you
(07:02):
are and the man that you'reactually allowed to be.
And the more that you notice it, the harder it is to unsee.
You look around and you realizethat most of this identity that
you didn't actually choose, youjust inherited it and maybe it
helped you survive for a time,but it won't help you become
whole, because the man that youinherited can only carry so much
(07:27):
.
He was built for a differentseason.
He's missing parts of you, realparts, your wonder, your
softness, your full range ofemotions and somewhere inside
this quiet question starts togrow Is this really who I am, or
just who I was trained to be?
(07:48):
And that question, that's thebeginning of something new.
So the second version is theperformed man.
This guy isn't asleep at thewheel, he's awake, he's been
doing the work, or at least he'sbeen trying to.
He reads the books, he's goneto the workshops, he's had a few
breakthroughs, he knows enoughto see what he inherited around
(08:13):
manhood and to see that itdoesn't work anymore, that it's
outdated, it's narrow, that itdoesn't fit the full weight of
who he is.
And yet, instead of tearing itdown and asking like, what do I
actually believe?
What do I actually want, hejust trades it in for a newer,
(08:34):
shinier model, something moreconscious, seemingly upgraded
version of masculinity.
And it looks good, right?
He starts saying all the rightthings, he stops numbing out, he
builds routines, he takes coldshowers.
He stops numbing out, he buildsroutines, he takes cold showers
, he tracks macros, he doesbreath work, he talks about
(08:54):
purpose, he shows up strong andhe leads with this masculine
energy.
And don't get me wrong, none ofthat's bad.
The problem is that it's stilljust a performance.
It's still about doing what hethinks he should do, to be a man
still chasing some image ofwhat's right.
The pressure hasn't necessarilygone away.
(09:16):
It's just been dressed up.
He's no longer trying to be thetough guy, the provider, the
stoic rock like his dad was.
Now he's trying to be theconscious leader, the grounded
king, the integrated alpha Somesame chase, just a different
costume.
And here's the hardest part Evenwhen it works, when people
(09:40):
admire him, when women are drawnto him, when he starts making
money or getting recognition, itstill doesn't land.
It still doesn't feel like hisBecause deep down, it's still
not coming from within, it's notrooted.
It's effortful, sure, right,like holding up a structure that
(10:03):
keeps swaying.
He feels it in quiet momentswhen the routines break or the
feedback stops or no one'swatching, that subtle question
of what am I actually doing this?
For?
Who am I trying to impress?
What would it be like to stopperforming and just be me?
(10:24):
And the truth is he doesn'tknow, because he's built a life
on looking the part.
He's become so good at beingthe man that he's supposed to be
that he hasn't actually stoppedto ask it if he even wants to
be that man.
And here's the thing.
This isn't failure, this is theedge.
(10:46):
This is the moment where thingsstart to crack open, because
when the performance starts tofeel empty, that's not a sign
that something's wrong.
It's a sign that something realis ready to come through.
He doesn't need to hustle forhis worth.
He doesn't need to beimpressive to be powerful.
(11:07):
He needs to start listening tothe deeper voice inside of him,
the one that isn't chasingapproval or scripting every move
, the one that already knows whohe is if he's willing to just
stop performing long enough tohear it.
That's where authority starts,not the kind that you earn from
(11:31):
others, the kind that you buildinside.
So the third version is theevolved man.
You don't meet this man everyday, not because he's better
than anyone else, but becausethe road to becoming him is
quiet, internal, not aboutstatus, not about show.
He's not about chasingvalidation.
(11:54):
He's just done abandoninghimself.
This man has stopped performing, stopped pretending, stopped
bending himself into whateverversion of masculinity the world
hands him.
He's not trying to prove thathe's strong, because he knows
that he is, because he's facedhis own darkness.
He's failed.
(12:15):
He's taken real hits and hedidn't run.
He stayed in the fire longenough to learn from it.
That's what makes him different, not that he's unshakable, but
that he's not afraid to beshaken and still stand in who he
(12:35):
is.
He doesn't need to dominate aroom, but at the same time he
won't disappear either.
He knows how to hold space andhe knows how to hold a boundary,
not with force, but withclarity.
He doesn't suppress emotion, hejust doesn't outsource it
either.
Right, he's learned to feel thefull range of grief and joy,
(13:00):
rage and love and stay steadyinside of it.
He's learned that strengthwithout heart is hollow and that
sensitivity without spine justwon't hold.
He listens, not to wait histurn, but to actually hear.
He speaks when it matters, andwhen he does, you feel it, not
(13:21):
because it's loud, but becauseit's true.
This man doesn't lead withbravado, he leads with presence,
and presence doesn't requireexplanation, it doesn't need
applause, it's just felt.
And here's the thing that mostmen don't really realize that he
(13:42):
didn't become this wayovernight.
He didn't take a course, checkthe boxes and arrive right.
He chose this over and over.
In the dark, in the doubt, inthe slow, the unforeseen moments
, when no one was watching.
He let go of the performance,he laid down the armor and he
(14:02):
built something better in itsplace.
Integrity, because the evolvedman isn't perfect.
He's whole.
He knows where he's strong, heknows where he's still learning.
He knows where he's stilllearning, and he's honest about
both.
He doesn't shrink, but hedoesn't posture either.
(14:24):
He doesn't need to win everyroom that he walks into, but
when he walks in, somethingshifts, not because he demands
respect, but because he respectshimself.
This is what real leadershipfeels like Not loud, not showy,
but grounded and steady andclear.
(14:46):
And when you're around a manlike that, you don't feel
smaller, you feel safer, morehonest, more at home in yourself
, and that's the ripple of anevolved man.
He doesn't just change his life, he changes the space around
him.
So let's stop here for a second,because I want to ask you
(15:08):
directly who taught you what itmeans to be a man?
What do you really think aboutthat?
I want you to really take amoment and ponder that.
What did they say, eitherdirectly or indirectly?
(15:33):
What did you witness?
What did they reward?
What did they punish?
What did you decide that youhad to be in order to be good
enough as a man?
And now are you still livingunder that definition?
Is it shaping your choices,your relationships, your
reactions?
Does it leave room for youractual truth?
And if it doesn't, are youwilling to choose something new?
(15:57):
So here's where everythingchanges.
You don't become a man byticking off boxes.
You don't become a man byacting confident, sounding
strong or copying someone else'sidea of what leadership looks
like.
You become a man when you stopoutsourcing it, when you stop
performing and you startlistening, when you stop
(16:19):
reaching out and start turninginward, and that's when things
shift, because manhood isn'tsomething that you earn, it's
not a prize, it's not a rolethat you graduate into after
enough pain or reps or goldstars.
It's a relationship, arelationship with yourself, with
(16:39):
truth, with responsibility, and, like any real relationship,
it's alive.
It grows when you show up forit, it deepens when you're
honest and it strengthens whenyou stop hiding.
Being a man isn't a destination, it's a practice, and it's how
(17:01):
you respond when things fallapart.
It's how you carry yourselfwhen no one is watching.
It's the moment that you choosecourage over comfort, not for
show, but because it's the rightthing to do.
The more honest that you get,the clearer it becomes.
The more aligned that you arewith what actually matters to
(17:24):
you, the less that you need toprove you stop chasing and you
start embodying, and that's wheneverything starts to change.
So here's what I want you to dothis week.
It's simple, but it's far fromeasy.
I want you to take 10 minutesno distractions, no noise, no
(17:54):
social media, no music, just you, a pen and a piece of paper and
this one question what doesbeing a man mean to me right now
, in this season of my life?
And I want you to write it outNot what you think you should
say, not what sounds noble, notwhat you'd post on Instagram.
What does it actually mean toyou today?
(18:17):
And then look at how you'reliving, look at your calendar,
your relationships, your energy,your habits, your thoughts,
your posture, your tone, yourinner dialogue and how you talk
to yourself and ask yourself amI living in alignment with the
(18:37):
man that I say?
That I am?
And that question isn't thereto shame you.
It's there to invite you,because you get to choose again
Right now, right here.
That's leadership, that'sfreedom and that is manhood.
(19:00):
All right, guys.
So that's what I've got forthis episode of A Man's Guide to
Self-Mastery.
It's a really powerful place tostart, and if you want to talk
through what's showing up foryou in your life right now, book
a free discovery call with me.
We'll get real about what it isthat you want and what it's
going to take to become the manthat you're meant to be Always.
(19:23):
Guys, leave a five-star review,follow this show and share it
with someone, and if somethingin this episode sparks something
for you, drop a comment.
I read every one of them andthat's how this message spreads,
one man at a time.
Thanks for tuning in to thisepisode of the Evolved Men
Podcast.
If today's episode challengedyou, inspired you or gave you
(19:45):
something to think about, don'tstop here.
Keep building, keep evolving.
Head over towwwevolvedmenprojectcom, where
you'll find free resources onconfidence, leadership,
relationships, communication andpersonal power Everything you
need to start applying whatyou've learned here and take
(20:05):
your growth to the next level.
The tools are there.
The next move is yours.
Until the next time, men, staystrong, lead powerfully and live
boldly.
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