July 21, 2025 • 42 mins
On today’s episode of The First Responder Playbook, I sat down with Monica Crawford—former police officer, entrepreneur, and author of "Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line." Monica shared her inspiring journey from law enforcement into entrepreneurship, why she founded Five-0 Fierce and Fit to empower trailblazing women in male-dominated fields, and the lessons she learned about leadership, resilience, and being true to yourself. If you’re facing toxic work environments or considering taking the leap into your own venture, Monica’s story will inspire you to take control, set boundaries, and thrive—no matter where you are in your career. Check out the full episode for powerful takeaways and practical advice!
Monica's website to check her training out! Five-0 Fit and Fierce
https://www.skool.com/five0fierceandfit/about
Link to Monica's book: Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line
https://amzn.to/4m6vORg
Want to be a guest on The First Responder Playbook: Insights on Leadership and Training? Send Brent Colbert a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1748037097521814b71b1b454
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Guys, welcome to the first responder Playbook. It is my
pleasure to have Monica Crawford with us today. Monica is a former
police officer, entrepreneur,
author, fitness Expert,
former Division 1 athlete. Don't need to keep going on. No, I,
I, I'm not going to do her justice. So Monica, tell my audience a little
(00:23):
bit about yourself. Hi. Thank you for having me, Brent.
My name is Monica Crawford. I, you did part of the intro.
You did most of the intro. I am former law enforcement. I did eight years
in Oklahoma law enforcement. I left there to
start my own business. It's called Five-0 Fierce and Fit. It's an online
nutrition, fitness and leadership coaching company for who I call
(00:45):
trailblazing women, many of those who are in male driven fields.
And I also wrote a book called Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line which
is available on Amazon that that details my experience in law enforcement and
the challenges that I faced work through there. And then I you also
catch me at some conferences around the US I like to train and teach and
speak and get on stage for some keynotes when I get the
(01:08):
opportunity to. So that's been fun.
Sorry, it's my one to feed my horse. Yep.
So tell me, had you always wanted to be in law enforcement or was that
just something that kind of came to you as you got older or how did
you get in law enforcement? Yeah, so my path to law enforcement was
not linear in the least. I went into college and
(01:31):
I studied criminal justice. Got my bachelor's and master's in criminal
justice. I originally thought I was going to work in the court system.
Was thinking I was going to go to law school. Changed my mind.
I got an internship with a probation department
near the school that I went to. I went to Bowling Green State University. It's
in Northwest Ohio State. I interned at Bowling Green Municipal Court
(01:55):
up there. Their municipal courts are all misdemeanor charges. Their district
courts are felony charges. And so I got to intern with their municipal
court in their probation department and quickly really enjoyed
it. Found I enjoyed that and then that was my goal to work in probation.
Actually once I graduated, the first full
time job that I was able to get was in mental health. And so I
(02:16):
was a mental health case manager for about a year and then
found my way to a probation office. But I was working as a pre sentence
investigator and report writer, basically doing backgrounds and interviews
for court proceedings. So that was a mix of getting to go to the jail
and interview some people and then also sitting in court to present the findings.
When I decided to move from northwest Ohio to the Tulsa area.
(02:39):
That's when I started with probation and parole here in Oklahoma,
which is sworn. Not every state has sworn probation and
parole. And so that's how I wiggled my way into law
enforcement through going through cleet here for probation
and parole through some of the people who I met in
Cleat, found a part time patrol position and started working some part time
(03:01):
policing and then eventually switched to full time police.
You know, I actually have a funny probation parole story.
During COVID I got out of law enforcement for a little bit and I decided
I wanted to get back in as every cop usually does at some point.
And I applied at probation and parole. And I'll never forget that
(03:22):
the broken ear offs had a. They were at the old, right next to the
city jail, like in the lobby. And so I was doing an interview and
I'll never forget the lady that was interviewing me. Her eyes got the size of
like cantaloupes and I'm like, apparently something's going on behind me. And
it was a guy showed up at the police station or the city
hall and he was like chambering a rifle out in the
(03:47):
like the parking lot area. And I was like, oh well that's not good.
And they like locked us in the, the glass
lobby and wouldn't let us back in the offices. And
I was like, well, thank God he, they like lock, I guess they could lock
those doors. But I'm like, man, if he really wanted to like shoot his way
in, like those glass doors aren't going to stop anything. And I started
(04:09):
chuckling. I was like, well, I don't know if this is the place for me.
So yeah, that was a, that's probably my favorite interview story of all time. Like,
yeah, somebody showed up with a rifle during it and like derailed the
middle of my interview. That was a, that was a fun time.
I had to fill in it in those offices a couple times. So I worked
(04:29):
out of the jail. It was only. It was like few and far between, but
I know exactly what you're talking about. Yep. So you
eventually transition to a patrol position. What
was your favorite time when you went to patrol?
So one of the agencies that I worked for that was part time patrol
was great fun because it was, it was on a
(04:51):
river, it was on a lake, it was around water where we had boats,
we had razors, you know, and a lot it was a good
mix of watching like river rat, lake
goer type people, you know, it's, it's prime people watching. So you're sitting there
Chuckling, watching somebody play dizzy bat
and then wipe out like on the gravel bar.
(05:14):
But there was a lot of calls. It was a lot of mix of like
medical calls versus actual police calls. And it
would, it would get gritty quick because especially on the river,
people would just hit each other with rocks and paddles and we're just like,
it's too hot and you've had too much alcohol. You get to go to jail
now. Yeah. So it was, it was entertaining, but it was
(05:35):
a lot of fun. Yeah. And for folks that
may not be in Oklahoma, there are specific police that do
lakes, rivers, stuff like that and they stay very
busy in the summertime. Yeah. So let me ask
you, how did you realize does, I mean,
that's probably one of your core tenets is like how to
(05:57):
handle yourself in a male dominated field.
How did you come to that mindset of like,
I'm just as powerful as any of these guys out here. Like, I'm just
as good of an officer. Like, because a lot,
when a newer female officer, a lot of them comes in, they try to fit
in and they don't, they don't be themselves
(06:20):
and that's just not the way it should be. Like they should be able to
express themselves just as much as any other male officer. How did you
come to the realization that, like, you know what, I'm not fitting into this
mold? Gosh.
So when going through the state police academy there, there wasn't
(06:40):
much of that. Like everybody was pretty family oriented.
Granted, I went through a commuter academy. It wasn't at, it wasn't down in
Ada, so it was local where everybody got to go home every night. But it
was, it was a smaller academy where we were fairly like family oriented. So I
didn't feel any of that pushback necessarily in that setting.
It wasn't. Or within probation, parole as well. Everybody,
(07:03):
I mean, we had a pretty fairly split in the office of like men and
women. So it was, it was fairly equal there.
The municipal PD that I was at, that's where it was very in your
face of. And it was funny because our academy too was even
split. We had four women out of nine.
And so yeah, it was like bizarre scenario that we had about just as many
(07:24):
women in there as we did men for that specific academy. But the academy
prior to us was all men. They had like 10 or 12 and it was
just straight men in the academy before us. So it just happened that way
within that academy. Like the two of the people
who were over training it, it was pretty apparent that
(07:44):
it was more like. Like, the ego was very present
because anytime that I would speak up or
try to bring something to his attention or offer a suggestion or things like
that, it was very apparent that that got smacked down real quick. And
I'm like, bro, like, I'm not trying to challenge you.
(08:04):
I'm trying to bring something to your attention or provide
another option. Like, specifically, I had a shoulder injury that I was
dealing with, and I was just trying to give him, like, options for me
to do something different that wasn't going to hurt my shoulder.
CrossFit level one trainer. Been doing CrossFit for a long time. Have a gymnastics
background. Like, I know the fitness side of things. And he would look at me
(08:26):
and be like, no, you're not going to do that. You're going to do this.
Instead, I'm like, okay, like, I'll listen
to you because I have to. And I'm not really trying to step on your
toes, but at the same time, like, I. I know what I'm
doing here, right? So I. I got a lot of that pushback.
And it got more apparent once I got to patrol as well.
(08:47):
Most people know that, like, the rookies are under a microscope. Everybody's, like, watching them,
waiting to see what they do or don't do. And then as a female, you're
even more under the microscope because you're one of the few. And when I
bid to day shift, I was the only female on day shift, and I was
one of two rookies on day shift. And so it was very apparent that I
was. I was under the microscope. But I think I always
(09:08):
stood out because I naturally had some confidence. To me, I had
been a cop before working at that agency, and I had, like, a pretty diverse
background for most coming in there. And so I think it was more so that
my confidence ruffled feathers a little bit. Whether it be
ego or maybe something else, I'm not sure. But I wasn't afraid
to ask questions, and a lot of times that intimidated people. And I had to
(09:30):
give a disclaimer a lot of times, too, of like, hey, if I ask you
a question, it's because I'm trying to understand. Like, I'm not trying to challenge what
you're telling me. I just want to understand the method to your
madness. So. So then when this happens again, like, I know what it is that
you want or what's expected, because I don't have to agree with what
it is that you want. I just want to understand the reason behind it so
that it makes sense to me to do so. That got me
(09:54):
into trouble, actually, a couple times, like, just trying to ask
questions and get a. Get a decent answer from somebody, you.
Know, I actually had that very exact same scenario because my brain
works the same way, is. I'm not arguing to argue. I just need
to know why we're doing it that way. And I had a
supervisor from a very older generation, and, like, I always
(10:16):
joke around because me and one of my best friends, like, we both worked with
him at different points, and we both could save a baby out of a tree,
and he would get accommodation. I'd get rode up
just because, like, for whatever reason, me and that supervisor
just could not jail. Like, it wouldn't matter what I did.
And it would be the exact same
(10:37):
scenario of, like, hey, like, I'm not trying to argue with you. And, like,
I got in a pursuit one day, and there's actual case law from
TPD coming into broken arrow of, you
know, imminent harm. You can stop a car till the proper jurisdiction gets there.
And I was aware of that. And so there was a. We'd got a call
about a drunk driver, and I'd stopped the car, and it turned into a little
(10:58):
short pursuit. OHP showed up, I filled him out a statement, they took it
over, and we moved on with life. And I'll never
forget that. We get back and, like, he's just, like, vein
bulging in his face, and he's like,
why would you do that? And I'm like, dude, he almost killed somebody. Like, I
can't just let that go. It happened in front of me. And, like, I
(11:20):
understand that he was, like, 30ft outside of city limits when it
happened, but, like, I'm not just gonna let him go kill somebody because of
that. And I tried to be respectful
about it, and it didn't. Didn't go very well for me. And so me being
the smart aleck that I am, I went and printed the case law off
and, like, highlighted it for him, which definitely didn't work. But at that point, I
(11:43):
was, like, done with, like, trying to, like, fit in with them.
Yeah. But, like, it was just one of those things. Like, I was
right. But since I was the newer officer, like,
oh, well, that's just the way we've always done things was the. The mantra
sometimes. And, like, I totally get that because, like,
it's not that we're trying to argue. Like, we just want to comprehend, like, why
(12:06):
we're doing those things. Yeah, exactly.
So how did you get to the point to where you're like, you know what?
I want to start my own business instead. Yeah.
So with the. With the police department that I was in, and this
is written throughout the book as well, there's. I felt like I
hit what I call a dark mental hole three times in three
(12:28):
and a half years where I was like, clawing back out of
whatever challenge I was dealing with at the time.
And towards the end of that time there, that's when I saw my
mental and physical health start starting to go down the gutter. I was
dealing with anxiety. I was dealing with what were
probably panic attacks. You know, I don't really know if
(12:50):
you can label these things, but in trying to hindsight and trying to,
like, heal and figure out what was happening back then, you know, it's. It's kind
of like those indicators of those things.
Yeah. Yeah. And so, long
story short, the. The camel. Oh, what's the saying? The straw that
broke the camel's back. Yeah. There was
(13:12):
a sergeant who I call the slimy sergeant in my book, who.
So you're laughing because, you know, you probably know where this is going.
He tried to hit on me at one point, got inappropriate, and I pushed him
back and he got shot down. But there were
two different specialty units that I had applied to be on. Of course, he was
the sergeant over them. And then, of course, I did not get selected for those
(13:33):
units. And my frustration is
building because I'm realizing what's happening. And he
becomes my captain at some point and
then ends up writing me up for something that was common practice,
where it was okay when everybody else did it, but not when Monica did it.
So by that time I was like, this is not worth it to
(13:56):
me. Like, I'm not trying to fight to be somewhere where it feels like I'm
not wanted. And that's how it felt at the time. And
of course, there's. And I put this in the book too. Calling it
out is like emotional abuse. And I hate to even say that, but it is.
There was a lot of gaslighting involved, saying, well, that was just a knee jerk
reaction. When I put in my two weeks notice. Like, the IA went through and
(14:17):
it concluded and they did whatever they had to do. I signed my
write up, but they're like, oh, well, that's a knee jerk
reaction. Why is she leaving? Yeah, why am I acting here
to your disrespect in the way that I'm acting to your disrespect?
Like, don't make me feel like I'm crazy for reacting the way I did to
your disrespect. So there was a lot of that going on, but
(14:40):
probably within the first part of 2022. Well, even
leading up to that, a couple years, like a year prior to that, I was
starting to interview at different places going, like, I need to get out. I need
to figure out something else here. In January
2022, I came across a Facebook ad for a business coach. And at
the time, I was like, I need to get out. I need to. Like, something
needs to change. I just hadn't found the right opportunity yet.
(15:03):
And talking to my now husband, he's like, I think this would be
a good investment for you. Because I realized at the time, I was like, I
have more background in, like, nutrition and fitness than I do up
until, like, years on in law enforcement at this point. So I was like, well,
I can make this happen. And so I started the business up in January
of that year. That whole internal affairs
(15:24):
thing happened in, like, March, I think. And so by April, I put
in my two weeks, and by grace of God, whatever you want to call it,
it all lined up where the. The week that I resigned and left was the
week that my income took off full time in my business.
Awesome. That takes a lot of
courage to be able to say I'm going
(15:47):
away from the steady paycheck, the. The police pension,
and jumping into a business full time of, like, you
got to earn it.
How did your husband
take that initially? Was he supportive of that? Or was he.
Was he more along the lines of, you know, hey, like, I want my wife
(16:09):
happy. Was he? Yeah.
So, ironically enough, a little bit more backstory to that initial
story. We were dating and had just gotten engaged. And
actually, actually, I think. I can't prove this, but I think
that internal affairs letter landed in our mailbox two days after we
got engaged and announced our engagement. So it was like we went
(16:32):
from the highest high to the lowest low really quick because he was actually
involved in that write up as well, because he was with me at the time,
so he was like collateral damage. But they couldn't. They couldn't do it to me
if they didn't include him in it too. So,
I mean, he was supportive of it. He knew I was struggling in some ways.
He was struggling in the same ways,
(16:55):
being a male at the department. His eyes were opened, I think just how some
of the treatment was when he started dating me.
But unfortunately, shortly after I left, he was dealing
with a lot of the same things and the same frustrations, and that actually
caused some challenges within Our relationship at the time,
because I was. I just removed myself from that environment. And he was bringing that
(17:17):
environment home to me every night, trying to vent and talk
about it. I'm like, I want to listen to you, but this is literally retriggering
me right now. Like, I can't, I can't do this.
So he was always very supportive and he struggled for a little while. He
eventually left and moved on to a different agency as well. But I
had to sit and watch him basically go through everything. Like the same thing I
(17:38):
went through from the outside looking in.
Because when you go back to the. The emotional abuse terms, one thing that helped
in my healing process was figuring out what trauma bonding is.
And everybody thinks that trauma bonding is just going through, like, bullshit together. Like,
it's not. It's actually a part of a domestic violence wheel. If
you study domestic violence and know those calls, it's the process of keeping
(18:00):
people stuck. And it's why us as cops beat our heads against the dashboard going,
why? Why won't they leave? Why won't they leave? Why are we still going to
the same house? Well, the same thing applies to toxic work
environments of, like, they breadcrumb you and then they tell you how much they love
you. And then all of a sudden the shit starts to hit the fan. And
then when things calm down, it's, oh, no, no, it's okay. Like this, this won't
(18:20):
be a big problem. We still love you, we still want you here. And then,
like, the cycle starts over again. So. And that's
exactly what they did to him when he signed his, his letter of reprimand too.
It was, oh, this is no problem. It's just a slap on the wrist. Don't
worry about it. Well, if it's just a slap, slap on the wrist, why wasn't
this a conversation? Yes. Instead of, instead of the whole circus
(18:40):
of this write up and BS that didn't need to happen because the other people
who did it before us, guess what? They had a conversation that wasn't even documented.
And now we're going 0 to 100 and you're telling us, oh, it's okay, it's
fine. Don't worry about it. Everybody gets in trouble. Like they, they try to
normalize it and then make you feel crazy for like, quote unquote,
normalizing, like dragging you through the mud and then being shocked and
(19:02):
like, how you respond to it. Yeah. And just for everybody that
listens, like, this happens at a lot of agencies and it's not really
just one agency Specific, like it's a culture we
really need to change of like
victim blaming. Because they will, they'll get on you for six months
and then they'll find somebody new and then they'll circle back around you and
(19:24):
it's, it's a toxic work environment. And then they expect you to go out and
interact with the public and be a public servant. And it's not
realistic to have a great mindset of interacting with the public when
you're, you have a toxic work environment. And we
really have to look in the mirror and say, are we really doing the best
job we can with our employees at the end of the day? And I don't
(19:45):
think we are. Yeah, I've said it from the beginning,
treat people like people. You know that
alone if you don't want to have to worry about. It's like police. We don't
have a recruiting and retention problem. We have a people problem.
You can't treat your people like people because guess what, if you invest in your
people, they will stay. Police are hard working people by nature.
(20:07):
I think we become lazy because we get burnt out and get beaten down
from trying to be productive people. But if you take care of your people
and invest in them, they will stay and they will recruit for you.
Absolutely. So
you start your business. It takes off pretty quickly.
How did you decide that you wanted to write a book?
(20:33):
Gosh, I can't even remember what sparked that. I think I again, I think
it was another, you can call it a God thing, a universe thing, whatever you
believe in. It was one of those things that, that it kept getting put in
front of me of like an ad to write a book. And then it would
come up on a conversation of, oh, you should write a book. And then I
would see it again somewhere else. And I'm like, this is a sign.
Somebody's sending me a sign that I need to write a book.
(20:56):
Maybe it was just interactions and talking to people too and kind of just sharing
my story. They're like, gosh, you should write a book. And for a while I
was mulling it over and I was trying to figure out how to do it
and I was talking to a couple different like book coaches and things like that.
And I actually landed with Adam Davis. Are you familiar with
that name? Adam Davis originally wrote
a devotional for law enforcement and it's been 10
(21:20):
or 12 years ago now, I think since he wrote it. He's written
several books since then, but he's a well known keynote speaker. Former law enforcement
officer turned author and business coach, super awesome
guy. And so soon as I found him, like, it just
aligned. I was like, okay, like, we're very similar. You get me.
Like, you'll understand my jargon when I write. Like, you'll get the story, like
(21:42):
all of these things, rather than me trying to explain the stuff to like, Joe
Schmo, you know, so he was like, yeah, you got a
story. Like, let's do it. And so we put it all together and kicked
it out. But the, the incredible thing has been to me is how many
women specifically who have, who have read it and then messaged me
back and said, like, I am living your story. It's
(22:03):
the same. And it's, it's validating to hear somebody else talk
about the same things. Because I thought it was crazy. Like, I thought I was
crazy. I thought it was just a part of the job of what we have
to deal with in order to here all of these things. So
it's been, it's been very humbling to hear
those stories come back to me too. Yeah, absolutely. How
(22:24):
long process was it to write the book and get it
published? I want
to say like six or eight months. I mean, it's just, it's kind
of on your own timeline of how quick you want to write and are able
to write and get everything out on paper.
For me, it wasn't hard to share the story. It was more difficult to like,
(22:45):
organize it, if that makes sense. So having the structure and like the
coaching part of it was helpful there as far as organizing everything I wanted to
put on paper because the part of it's my story and the other part of
it is resources for others and nutrition, fitness, mindset, and
leadership to take back your own control. So that if you
find yourself struggling, like, know that you have more control than you think you do,
(23:07):
and you can still create the life that you want to live by, by taking,
by using these pillars and putting them into practice.
How does it feel to be able to share like that message with others now?
I mean, I know you said that you're getting a lot of good feedback from
it and like, it's helping a lot of people,
but. Because I can just tell, like, you know, I see your posts all the
(23:28):
time and I see like the genuine genuineness after Monday.
And, you know, you don't
take that big career leap without wanting to help others in the first place.
And then you write the book on top of it. Like, how
awesome is that to have that platform to be able to help others?
(23:49):
I mean, I don't take it lightly. And I think
it's been a long and incredibly messy healing
journey too because what
happened after I left was basically my body crashed out like I was
in full adrenal fatigue. I gained 25, 30 pounds,
(24:09):
didn't have the ability to work out. Like my body wouldn't recover.
Honestly, I've probably spent 25, $30,000 in doctors
and trying to have them help me figure this out and get my body back
to what I would consider normal. For me still not quite there
yet, but getting closer. Part of that was mental health therapy
(24:29):
to get rid of a lot of trauma. Some that was not police that I
was still holding on to. A lot of it was from, from that experience but
some prior to that even
so I mean it's just, it's taken me time to evolve too. As
far as like when I got out it was I need to sell
a service and I need to get paid. Like it, like literally that's what
(24:52):
it started as. And it started as well. People need to be fit
to fit for duty. People need to be in shape. And that's literally what it
started as. It's like, I'm going to get you fit for duty. Since then it's,
it's evolved to a much more and I've talked to business coaches and other people.
They're like, Monica, you're not in survival mode anymore. Now where are you going? And
I'm like, holy, I'm not in survival mode anymore. Like I can actually
(25:14):
make a decision with a clear head. That's not fear based, that's
not like survival based, you know. So
I've been fortunate. For the women who I've worked with, the thing that I enjoy
most is seeing that mindset shift and seeing them, I
call it like their glow up. It's like during a six month one on one
program, there's usually halfway through like something clicks and you can see it, you
(25:36):
can feel it where all of a sudden they're like, nope, my boundaries
are my boundaries. I'm leaving work at work when my radio shuts off. I'm not
thinking about it, I'm going kayaking. Oh, by the way, I've
reversed my pre diabetes. I'm down 30 pounds.
My life is better than it's ever been and that's
what's most fulfilling for me. And my hope is that
(25:58):
I'm, I'm basically trying to serve those who are serving others
so that they can better serve the people who they want to serve but also
like live a life on their own. Terms. Yeah.
Have you met Jennifer yet through adb? Jennifer
Anderson? Not yet, but I know
(26:18):
who that is. So I went through her first responder coaching
certification just a couple months ago, and she
has a lot of. I. I need to really introduce you and, like, make that
connect, because she. She has a very good
story of just going through it with her husband on the spouse side,
and that's how she got her journey into coaching.
(26:41):
And then I went through her program recently, the past few months.
And when you start going through those coaching programs, you realize,
like, coaching is not
necessarily, like, telling people what they want to hear. Like,
you're pushing them to better themselves. And
sometimes those boundaries need to be pushed to make sure that you're not
(27:05):
doing the same thing. You've been doing either wrong or bad
that whole time. And you got to change that mindset from
I'm just surviving to thriving. And,
you know, I love that you both. Like I said, she does. She has, you
know, her own deal. And I love it that you guys are out there doing
that because we need that in this profession. Like,
(27:26):
we don't need a bunch of crabs in a bucket. We need people that want
to support each other and, like, make each other, like,
be successful. That's what I was telling somebody the other day. Like, I'm a very
competitive person. Like, I. You know, I think
it's part of, like, being a cop that, like, if you get on a very
proactive shift, you want to go out there and, like, man, I made the coolest
(27:48):
arrest or I made the biggest drug bust. And, like, that's cool. Like, I like
catching criminals, but I also like
when my partners make big drug busts and make big warrant
arrests and, like, fine guns. Because you want to know why? Because
that means we're all out there doing stuff that we enjoy, and we're all
serving the citizens. Like, I want to see them do just as well as I
(28:09):
do. It's not, oh, my God, Britt's got to be the best cop out there.
Like, I want to see everybody succeed. And,
you know, there's too many people in this profession that, like,
they only want to see themselves succeed. And, like, we've got to change that
mindset. And, you know, the whole
mantra of, like, checking your personal life the
(28:31):
door is no longer a realistic thing, in my opinion.
Like, life and career intertwine. You know, your career
affects your life, your life affects your career. And you
can't just say, hey, you should check your personal life at the door. Like, that
affects your job. Like, every Day. And like supervisors
anymore need to be coaches because they've got to manage a
(28:53):
shift of, you know, five, six individual personalities that have
different interests, different lives. Like this whole,
well, that's the way we've always done it needs to end, in my opinion.
Yeah, I think it goes back to taking a vested interest in
somebody. I, you know, I used to say
(29:14):
a lot of times, and this is how things got started with the
Slimy Sergeant. Actually, I was always somebody
who I, I'm very observant. Naturally. And I, and I mean,
cops, typically we pick up on behavior, right? Yep. Well, me more
so in like a personal standpoint. Like I would do that with my co workers.
And typically, just naturally when you think about, I just kind of observe like what's
(29:37):
going on and how everybody's doing. So for instance, like every
once in a while, like I'd get somebody be like, gosh, this guy's being an
absolute dick today. Like, what's wrong with him? And I'm like, I wonder what
is wrong with him actually. And I actually went and asked
him on shift. I was like, hey man, like, you doing okay? He's like, I
put my dog down last week. Bingo. Yep,
(29:58):
bingo. So let's stop calling him a dick. Let's ask him how he's doing.
But with the, with the Slimy sergeant, he was going through a massive, like, public
breakup, which was part of his problem because he liked to date everybody in the
pd. I digress. But he was going through a
massive breakup and at the time he came into shift and
his eyes were red, bloodshot, looked like he had been up all night type of
(30:21):
thing. And all it was was a text. Hey, are you doing okay?
I know you're going through some like, if you want to talk to somebody, I'm
here. I don't go blab to anybody else because I didn't. It's like A and
B conversation. I'm not spilling your. To everybody else on shift.
If you need anything, let me know. Well, of course, my husband,
I think he and I had just started dating at the time, was like, you
(30:43):
know, when you send that text that, that they think that you're into them. Right.
I was like, what? I'm
not inside of a guy's brain to know what that means to them, apparently. But
literally that's all it was, was a kind hearted gesture of, are you
okay? Yeah. Trying to be a friend, a shift mate. Yeah. Not an open
door to anything else by any means, but yeah, a lot of times people are
(31:04):
going through a Lot of shit. You just have to stop and ask them. Like,
don't door up just the bitch about everything. Like, ask them how their day is.
Exactly. Because that negativity breeds more negativity.
And then it spreads like a wildfire around the department and it ruins the whole
department's morale. And then they're like, well, I wonder why everybody's, you know, miserable
at work. Well, it's because you don't handle the problem
(31:25):
originally and just check on that person or take care of the issue, whatever the
case may be, and you let it get out of control. And then here
we are six months later. Yeah,
yeah. So you're doing some national
conferences now. How did you start
getting going down that route? And that's
(31:47):
an awesome opportunity to like spread your message.
How are you enjoying that? Yeah. So it's
been a full circle moment for me because my goal was always
to end up out in training. I was, I had
tried my hand at firearms instructor school. Didn't make it through
the first time. Don't think I'll get an opportunity to do that again unless I
(32:08):
go through the NRA side of things, which is okay.
But I had applied for fto, wasn't selected for fto. I still
have a laser instructor certification, so I'm still active,
Active shooter certified. I was trying to go down the path of becoming
to having a position out the training center and being one of those people out
there. Again, applied for that, didn't get chosen one reason or another,
(32:32):
but that was my end goal. I volunteered to help with the academy at any
time I could. Like the answer was always no, unless it was
one of my good friends let me come out and help her teach, like domestic,
like her domestic violence block, something like that. So that
was always my goal. Not to mention you don't see many women in those training
roles, especially defensive tactics, firearms driving. You just don't.
(32:55):
And it used to be my goal that I really wanted to get on the
gun range because to this day I don't know of a female state firearms instructor.
There could be one out there, but I'm not heard of one, met one. Don'T
know and actually say that I don't think I'd know one
either. Exactly. So perhaps
I can help on the outside in from that perspective now. But
(33:17):
I was wanting to get out into training. And so it's been a full circle
thing that now I'm able still to teach and train. It's just from a different
perspective on the outside looking in. So I always want to do
that I'm bid certified. I went through BID school instructor school here.
You know, they did, they did let me go through that.
So I've been, I've been wanting to public speak and get up there for a
(33:38):
while. Being a CrossFit coach, naturally you're up talking in
front of people and working them through the same stuff every day. So it was
really easy to pick up and to roll into the similar thing. Just different course
material. Right. So I mean it was one of those
things that through networking. Network. Network, network. I
can't say like the biggest thing that will help you out in your career in
life. Network, Network, network. I met a
(34:01):
retired Dallas police officer who was a 30 year lieutenant
female out of Dallas. She's badass. I love her to pieces.
She retired and became a first responder life coach in a couple different
capacities. We met through Facebook and she was
the one who plugged me into the Texas Women of Law Enforcement conference
which is held in Fort Worth every year she's plugged me into one of the
(34:24):
Dallas police women's symposium events down there. And then
in the same light, there are a couple opportunities that I plugged her into. Like
she and I did a women's law enforcement summit in New Orleans
last spring that we traveled together. Got to split the room and kind of do
that together too. So it's been fun. But
a lot of it's from networking and word of mouth and trying to get in
(34:46):
front of the right people. LinkedIn is another great resource. Just connected
with somebody today on a women's law enforcement conference board today that
was like, hey, you have an event coming up, do you need somebody?
So it's like it's networking, it's shooting your own shot. It's just,
you just got to get, if you're gonna do it, you got to get up
there and go after it. But it's been a lot of fun. I love the
(35:07):
in person events because you, you get to meet people in person versus talking to
them through a screen, which, I mean, I enjoy that too. But you just can't
replace like being in person like in the same room with all those people.
Absolutely. And you know, for people, it's never a lot
of smaller agencies. You know, people may never get to go to those big conferences
through their agency and they may have to pay for themselves. But I
(35:28):
never went to one until about two years ago and I finally went
and I came back so refreshed afterwards because
you there at this particular conference, there's people from all over the world
with different views on law enforcement and different ideas. And, like,
I came back and I was like, man, this is awesome. Like, I've got such
a good mindset again. And, like, it helps to get out
(35:52):
and network and meet people. And I'll never forget, I went back
again this year to that conference and we actually stayed on site and we got
to network so much more this year. And
I actually ended up getting my first article published out of it because I got
out and networked this time. Yeah. And the guy gave me, like,
such great advice on, like, writing a persuasive article.
(36:13):
And I was like, you know, that actually makes a lot of sense.
He's like. He's like, man, your article is fine. But it was. It was an
academic article. Like, no one wants to read an academic article
unless it's in, like, a peer reviewed journal. And I was like, okay, that makes
sense. And he gave me some advice. And, like, I sat there for like a
week and a half with, like, writer's block. And I was like, I don't know
(36:35):
what to write about. And I was at the conference and I was fixing to
go to bed one night and it just hit me and I knocked it out
in like an hour. And he was like, man, that's so much better. He's like,
we'll publish this one. Sweet. I would have never done it without, like,
going to the conference and networking and, like, meeting him. And, like,
I would have never came out of my comfort zone to do that. Like, I'm
working on my doctorate, but, like, I hate writing. Like, I'm not a writer.
(36:59):
And he made me actually feel like
my article was halfway decent, you know, like, and so
that's all it takes is somebody being a positive influence and, like,
giving you that push sometimes to, like, hey, take that chance.
Like, the worst I can tell you is no, like, come out of your comfort
zone a little bit. And, like, I try to tell people all the time it's
(37:21):
okay to fail. Like, you can fail. Just
come back stronger next. And, like, learn from those mistakes that you
made when you failed and just do better moving forward.
Like, I. I got out of law enforcement covered and took an
insurance agent job. Terrible time to take a fully commissioned job.
Yeah. And they put me in a part of town that they had more people
(37:44):
didn't have insurance and did. And it
went beyond terrible. Like, I failed, but
I learned from it. Like, you know, I would have never went down
the journey of getting my doctorate and master's degree without, like,
failing. I would have been fine just Being a city cop, being a corporal,
working overnights, you know, and we've
(38:06):
got to realize that we have talents and, like, we need
to use them. Yep, absolutely.
You know. So what's next for you?
I'm working on getting in person more, working on booking more events
for spring of 2026. Just working on
expanding the business. I started a school group not too
(38:30):
long ago that's for the women that I serve with the
goal of building that SafeNet community for women.
You don't have to be working towards a nutrition and fitness
lifestyle, like, kind of goal. You could get in there just because you want to
be in a positive community where you can network and grow.
It's geared towards personal and professional goals, growth in one way or another
(38:54):
with those nutrition and fitness resources in there if you need them.
But that's not like a prerequisite for you to get in there. Because I found
there's always been a gap for women as far as having, like, supportive people to
lean on, especially other women. We tend to compete with other women since there's so
few of us. And so I'm working to
build that community as well. So that's in progress. And then
(39:16):
just more events, hoping to get my book in front of more eyeballs,
all of those good things when we get done. I'll give you another event you
should attend next year that's early in spring 2026 that I think you would
do very well at. Cool. And they actually give you
a free conference if you get selected to teach there. So, I mean,
even better, you get a full week of good classes too. Yeah.
(39:42):
What's one piece of advice for any female
person that's getting into a first responder role? What's one piece of
advice that you would tell them? Like, hey, just take
this into account, like, over the whole journey of your career.
I think the biggest lesson that I learned was that I lost myself and trying
to please other people. And so my biggest
(40:05):
piece of advice and takeaway is stay true to who you are. Because
if you don't, you'll literally wage a war inside yourself.
Because that's exactly what happened to me. It was fighting myself and who
I was trying to be. I don't
want to say I was trying to be accepted, but when you're new at a
department, like, you're trying to go with the flow of things, you're not trying to
(40:27):
go against the grain necessarily. So it's not like you're in a high school
clique trying to fit in necessarily, which there can be that aspect of it. But
that's like not your goal, right? Like you're just trying to make a good
impression and show that you can hold your own and basically just
earn your spot. But you can do that by staying
true to. You don't feel like you have to make yourself
(40:48):
smaller just to fit in or to go with the flow.
And if you do, if you are recognizing that you're having to
go through any of that, then maybe that department is not for you.
There will be other places where your value is supported and respected.
Absolutely. 100%. 100%.
(41:09):
So if people want to join your community, where
can they join your community at? How can they get a hold of you? Where
can they get your book? The
main website where everything is listed. It's
50fierceandfit.com info where you
can find everything. I'm on all the social media platforms that's all linked on there.
(41:30):
The book and the school group is also linked on there. So that's. That's the
one place you can find me. There's a free resource you can download too. It's
called a Shift Work Nutrition Guide. If you're looking for some introductory advice
on how to improve your nutrition and also how to make it fit for shift
so that you can improve your energy, you can kick the brain fog and maybe
start losing a couple extra pounds and inches, that's. That's the very first place to
(41:53):
start. So there's a free resource there for you too. I love that. I love
it. Guys. Everybody give Monica a follow. She's
welcome back anytime. And Monica, I wish you much success
moving forward. Thank you, Brent. I really appreciate it. Have a good
night. You too.
Guys, welcome to the first responder Playbook. It is my
pleasure to have Monica Crawford with us today. Monica is a former
police officer, entrepreneur,
author, fitness Expert,
former Division 1 athlete. Don't need to keep going on. No, I,
I, I'm not going to do her justice. So Monica, tell my audience a little
(00:23):
bit about yourself. Hi. Thank you for having me, Brent.
My name is Monica Crawford. I, you did part of the intro.
You did most of the intro. I am former law enforcement. I did eight years
in Oklahoma law enforcement. I left there to
start my own business. It's called Five-0 Fierce and Fit. It's an online
nutrition, fitness and leadership coaching company for who I call
(00:45):
trailblazing women, many of those who are in male driven fields.
And I also wrote a book called Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line which
is available on Amazon that that details my experience in law enforcement and
the challenges that I faced work through there. And then I you also
catch me at some conferences around the US I like to train and teach and
speak and get on stage for some keynotes when I get the
(01:08):
opportunity to. So that's been fun.
Sorry, it's my one to feed my horse. Yep.
So tell me, had you always wanted to be in law enforcement or was that
just something that kind of came to you as you got older or how did
you get in law enforcement? Yeah, so my path to law enforcement was
not linear in the least. I went into college and
(01:31):
I studied criminal justice. Got my bachelor's and master's in criminal
justice. I originally thought I was going to work in the court system.
Was thinking I was going to go to law school. Changed my mind.
I got an internship with a probation department
near the school that I went to. I went to Bowling Green State University. It's
in Northwest Ohio State. I interned at Bowling Green Municipal Court
(01:55):
up there. Their municipal courts are all misdemeanor charges. Their district
courts are felony charges. And so I got to intern with their municipal
court in their probation department and quickly really enjoyed
it. Found I enjoyed that and then that was my goal to work in probation.
Actually once I graduated, the first full
time job that I was able to get was in mental health. And so I
(02:16):
was a mental health case manager for about a year and then
found my way to a probation office. But I was working as a pre sentence
investigator and report writer, basically doing backgrounds and interviews
for court proceedings. So that was a mix of getting to go to the jail
and interview some people and then also sitting in court to present the findings.
When I decided to move from northwest Ohio to the Tulsa area.
(02:39):
That's when I started with probation and parole here in Oklahoma,
which is sworn. Not every state has sworn probation and
parole. And so that's how I wiggled my way into law
enforcement through going through cleet here for probation
and parole through some of the people who I met in
Cleat, found a part time patrol position and started working some part time
(03:01):
policing and then eventually switched to full time police.
You know, I actually have a funny probation parole story.
During COVID I got out of law enforcement for a little bit and I decided
I wanted to get back in as every cop usually does at some point.
And I applied at probation and parole. And I'll never forget that
(03:22):
the broken ear offs had a. They were at the old, right next to the
city jail, like in the lobby. And so I was doing an interview and
I'll never forget the lady that was interviewing me. Her eyes got the size of
like cantaloupes and I'm like, apparently something's going on behind me. And
it was a guy showed up at the police station or the city
hall and he was like chambering a rifle out in the
(03:47):
like the parking lot area. And I was like, oh well that's not good.
And they like locked us in the, the glass
lobby and wouldn't let us back in the offices. And
I was like, well, thank God he, they like lock, I guess they could lock
those doors. But I'm like, man, if he really wanted to like shoot his way
in, like those glass doors aren't going to stop anything. And I started
(04:09):
chuckling. I was like, well, I don't know if this is the place for me.
So yeah, that was a, that's probably my favorite interview story of all time. Like,
yeah, somebody showed up with a rifle during it and like derailed the
middle of my interview. That was a, that was a fun time.
I had to fill in it in those offices a couple times. So I worked
(04:29):
out of the jail. It was only. It was like few and far between, but
I know exactly what you're talking about. Yep. So you
eventually transition to a patrol position. What
was your favorite time when you went to patrol?
So one of the agencies that I worked for that was part time patrol
was great fun because it was, it was on a
(04:51):
river, it was on a lake, it was around water where we had boats,
we had razors, you know, and a lot it was a good
mix of watching like river rat, lake
goer type people, you know, it's, it's prime people watching. So you're sitting there
Chuckling, watching somebody play dizzy bat
and then wipe out like on the gravel bar.
(05:14):
But there was a lot of calls. It was a lot of mix of like
medical calls versus actual police calls. And it
would, it would get gritty quick because especially on the river,
people would just hit each other with rocks and paddles and we're just like,
it's too hot and you've had too much alcohol. You get to go to jail
now. Yeah. So it was, it was entertaining, but it was
(05:35):
a lot of fun. Yeah. And for folks that
may not be in Oklahoma, there are specific police that do
lakes, rivers, stuff like that and they stay very
busy in the summertime. Yeah. So let me ask
you, how did you realize does, I mean,
that's probably one of your core tenets is like how to
(05:57):
handle yourself in a male dominated field.
How did you come to that mindset of like,
I'm just as powerful as any of these guys out here. Like, I'm just
as good of an officer. Like, because a lot,
when a newer female officer, a lot of them comes in, they try to fit
in and they don't, they don't be themselves
(06:20):
and that's just not the way it should be. Like they should be able to
express themselves just as much as any other male officer. How did you
come to the realization that, like, you know what, I'm not fitting into this
mold? Gosh.
So when going through the state police academy there, there wasn't
(06:40):
much of that. Like everybody was pretty family oriented.
Granted, I went through a commuter academy. It wasn't at, it wasn't down in
Ada, so it was local where everybody got to go home every night. But it
was, it was a smaller academy where we were fairly like family oriented. So I
didn't feel any of that pushback necessarily in that setting.
It wasn't. Or within probation, parole as well. Everybody,
(07:03):
I mean, we had a pretty fairly split in the office of like men and
women. So it was, it was fairly equal there.
The municipal PD that I was at, that's where it was very in your
face of. And it was funny because our academy too was even
split. We had four women out of nine.
And so yeah, it was like bizarre scenario that we had about just as many
(07:24):
women in there as we did men for that specific academy. But the academy
prior to us was all men. They had like 10 or 12 and it was
just straight men in the academy before us. So it just happened that way
within that academy. Like the two of the people
who were over training it, it was pretty apparent that
(07:44):
it was more like. Like, the ego was very present
because anytime that I would speak up or
try to bring something to his attention or offer a suggestion or things like
that, it was very apparent that that got smacked down real quick. And
I'm like, bro, like, I'm not trying to challenge you.
(08:04):
I'm trying to bring something to your attention or provide
another option. Like, specifically, I had a shoulder injury that I was
dealing with, and I was just trying to give him, like, options for me
to do something different that wasn't going to hurt my shoulder.
CrossFit level one trainer. Been doing CrossFit for a long time. Have a gymnastics
background. Like, I know the fitness side of things. And he would look at me
(08:26):
and be like, no, you're not going to do that. You're going to do this.
Instead, I'm like, okay, like, I'll listen
to you because I have to. And I'm not really trying to step on your
toes, but at the same time, like, I. I know what I'm
doing here, right? So I. I got a lot of that pushback.
And it got more apparent once I got to patrol as well.
(08:47):
Most people know that, like, the rookies are under a microscope. Everybody's, like, watching them,
waiting to see what they do or don't do. And then as a female, you're
even more under the microscope because you're one of the few. And when I
bid to day shift, I was the only female on day shift, and I was
one of two rookies on day shift. And so it was very apparent that I
was. I was under the microscope. But I think I always
(09:08):
stood out because I naturally had some confidence. To me, I had
been a cop before working at that agency, and I had, like, a pretty diverse
background for most coming in there. And so I think it was more so that
my confidence ruffled feathers a little bit. Whether it be
ego or maybe something else, I'm not sure. But I wasn't afraid
to ask questions, and a lot of times that intimidated people. And I had to
(09:30):
give a disclaimer a lot of times, too, of like, hey, if I ask you
a question, it's because I'm trying to understand. Like, I'm not trying to challenge what
you're telling me. I just want to understand the method to your
madness. So. So then when this happens again, like, I know what it is that
you want or what's expected, because I don't have to agree with what
it is that you want. I just want to understand the reason behind it so
that it makes sense to me to do so. That got me
(09:54):
into trouble, actually, a couple times, like, just trying to ask
questions and get a. Get a decent answer from somebody, you.
Know, I actually had that very exact same scenario because my brain
works the same way, is. I'm not arguing to argue. I just need
to know why we're doing it that way. And I had a
supervisor from a very older generation, and, like, I always
(10:16):
joke around because me and one of my best friends, like, we both worked with
him at different points, and we both could save a baby out of a tree,
and he would get accommodation. I'd get rode up
just because, like, for whatever reason, me and that supervisor
just could not jail. Like, it wouldn't matter what I did.
And it would be the exact same
(10:37):
scenario of, like, hey, like, I'm not trying to argue with you. And, like,
I got in a pursuit one day, and there's actual case law from
TPD coming into broken arrow of, you
know, imminent harm. You can stop a car till the proper jurisdiction gets there.
And I was aware of that. And so there was a. We'd got a call
about a drunk driver, and I'd stopped the car, and it turned into a little
(10:58):
short pursuit. OHP showed up, I filled him out a statement, they took it
over, and we moved on with life. And I'll never
forget that. We get back and, like, he's just, like, vein
bulging in his face, and he's like,
why would you do that? And I'm like, dude, he almost killed somebody. Like, I
can't just let that go. It happened in front of me. And, like, I
(11:20):
understand that he was, like, 30ft outside of city limits when it
happened, but, like, I'm not just gonna let him go kill somebody because of
that. And I tried to be respectful
about it, and it didn't. Didn't go very well for me. And so me being
the smart aleck that I am, I went and printed the case law off
and, like, highlighted it for him, which definitely didn't work. But at that point, I
(11:43):
was, like, done with, like, trying to, like, fit in with them.
Yeah. But, like, it was just one of those things. Like, I was
right. But since I was the newer officer, like,
oh, well, that's just the way we've always done things was the. The mantra
sometimes. And, like, I totally get that because, like,
it's not that we're trying to argue. Like, we just want to comprehend, like, why
(12:06):
we're doing those things. Yeah, exactly.
So how did you get to the point to where you're like, you know what?
I want to start my own business instead. Yeah.
So with the. With the police department that I was in, and this
is written throughout the book as well, there's. I felt like I
hit what I call a dark mental hole three times in three
(12:28):
and a half years where I was like, clawing back out of
whatever challenge I was dealing with at the time.
And towards the end of that time there, that's when I saw my
mental and physical health start starting to go down the gutter. I was
dealing with anxiety. I was dealing with what were
probably panic attacks. You know, I don't really know if
(12:50):
you can label these things, but in trying to hindsight and trying to,
like, heal and figure out what was happening back then, you know, it's. It's kind
of like those indicators of those things.
Yeah. Yeah. And so, long
story short, the. The camel. Oh, what's the saying? The straw that
broke the camel's back. Yeah. There was
(13:12):
a sergeant who I call the slimy sergeant in my book, who.
So you're laughing because, you know, you probably know where this is going.
He tried to hit on me at one point, got inappropriate, and I pushed him
back and he got shot down. But there were
two different specialty units that I had applied to be on. Of course, he was
the sergeant over them. And then, of course, I did not get selected for those
(13:33):
units. And my frustration is
building because I'm realizing what's happening. And he
becomes my captain at some point and
then ends up writing me up for something that was common practice,
where it was okay when everybody else did it, but not when Monica did it.
So by that time I was like, this is not worth it to
(13:56):
me. Like, I'm not trying to fight to be somewhere where it feels like I'm
not wanted. And that's how it felt at the time. And
of course, there's. And I put this in the book too. Calling it
out is like emotional abuse. And I hate to even say that, but it is.
There was a lot of gaslighting involved, saying, well, that was just a knee jerk
reaction. When I put in my two weeks notice. Like, the IA went through and
(14:17):
it concluded and they did whatever they had to do. I signed my
write up, but they're like, oh, well, that's a knee jerk
reaction. Why is she leaving? Yeah, why am I acting here
to your disrespect in the way that I'm acting to your disrespect?
Like, don't make me feel like I'm crazy for reacting the way I did to
your disrespect. So there was a lot of that going on, but
(14:40):
probably within the first part of 2022. Well, even
leading up to that, a couple years, like a year prior to that, I was
starting to interview at different places going, like, I need to get out. I need
to figure out something else here. In January
2022, I came across a Facebook ad for a business coach. And at
the time, I was like, I need to get out. I need to. Like, something
needs to change. I just hadn't found the right opportunity yet.
(15:03):
And talking to my now husband, he's like, I think this would be
a good investment for you. Because I realized at the time, I was like, I
have more background in, like, nutrition and fitness than I do up
until, like, years on in law enforcement at this point. So I was like, well,
I can make this happen. And so I started the business up in January
of that year. That whole internal affairs
(15:24):
thing happened in, like, March, I think. And so by April, I put
in my two weeks, and by grace of God, whatever you want to call it,
it all lined up where the. The week that I resigned and left was the
week that my income took off full time in my business.
Awesome. That takes a lot of
courage to be able to say I'm going
(15:47):
away from the steady paycheck, the. The police pension,
and jumping into a business full time of, like, you
got to earn it.
How did your husband
take that initially? Was he supportive of that? Or was he.
Was he more along the lines of, you know, hey, like, I want my wife
(16:09):
happy. Was he? Yeah.
So, ironically enough, a little bit more backstory to that initial
story. We were dating and had just gotten engaged. And
actually, actually, I think. I can't prove this, but I think
that internal affairs letter landed in our mailbox two days after we
got engaged and announced our engagement. So it was like we went
(16:32):
from the highest high to the lowest low really quick because he was actually
involved in that write up as well, because he was with me at the time,
so he was like collateral damage. But they couldn't. They couldn't do it to me
if they didn't include him in it too. So,
I mean, he was supportive of it. He knew I was struggling in some ways.
He was struggling in the same ways,
(16:55):
being a male at the department. His eyes were opened, I think just how some
of the treatment was when he started dating me.
But unfortunately, shortly after I left, he was dealing
with a lot of the same things and the same frustrations, and that actually
caused some challenges within Our relationship at the time,
because I was. I just removed myself from that environment. And he was bringing that
(17:17):
environment home to me every night, trying to vent and talk
about it. I'm like, I want to listen to you, but this is literally retriggering
me right now. Like, I can't, I can't do this.
So he was always very supportive and he struggled for a little while. He
eventually left and moved on to a different agency as well. But I
had to sit and watch him basically go through everything. Like the same thing I
(17:38):
went through from the outside looking in.
Because when you go back to the. The emotional abuse terms, one thing that helped
in my healing process was figuring out what trauma bonding is.
And everybody thinks that trauma bonding is just going through, like, bullshit together. Like,
it's not. It's actually a part of a domestic violence wheel. If
you study domestic violence and know those calls, it's the process of keeping
(18:00):
people stuck. And it's why us as cops beat our heads against the dashboard going,
why? Why won't they leave? Why won't they leave? Why are we still going to
the same house? Well, the same thing applies to toxic work
environments of, like, they breadcrumb you and then they tell you how much they love
you. And then all of a sudden the shit starts to hit the fan. And
then when things calm down, it's, oh, no, no, it's okay. Like this, this won't
(18:20):
be a big problem. We still love you, we still want you here. And then,
like, the cycle starts over again. So. And that's
exactly what they did to him when he signed his, his letter of reprimand too.
It was, oh, this is no problem. It's just a slap on the wrist. Don't
worry about it. Well, if it's just a slap, slap on the wrist, why wasn't
this a conversation? Yes. Instead of, instead of the whole circus
(18:40):
of this write up and BS that didn't need to happen because the other people
who did it before us, guess what? They had a conversation that wasn't even documented.
And now we're going 0 to 100 and you're telling us, oh, it's okay, it's
fine. Don't worry about it. Everybody gets in trouble. Like they, they try to
normalize it and then make you feel crazy for like, quote unquote,
normalizing, like dragging you through the mud and then being shocked and
(19:02):
like, how you respond to it. Yeah. And just for everybody that
listens, like, this happens at a lot of agencies and it's not really
just one agency Specific, like it's a culture we
really need to change of like
victim blaming. Because they will, they'll get on you for six months
and then they'll find somebody new and then they'll circle back around you and
(19:24):
it's, it's a toxic work environment. And then they expect you to go out and
interact with the public and be a public servant. And it's not
realistic to have a great mindset of interacting with the public when
you're, you have a toxic work environment. And we
really have to look in the mirror and say, are we really doing the best
job we can with our employees at the end of the day? And I don't
(19:45):
think we are. Yeah, I've said it from the beginning,
treat people like people. You know that
alone if you don't want to have to worry about. It's like police. We don't
have a recruiting and retention problem. We have a people problem.
You can't treat your people like people because guess what, if you invest in your
people, they will stay. Police are hard working people by nature.
(20:07):
I think we become lazy because we get burnt out and get beaten down
from trying to be productive people. But if you take care of your people
and invest in them, they will stay and they will recruit for you.
Absolutely. So
you start your business. It takes off pretty quickly.
How did you decide that you wanted to write a book?
(20:33):
Gosh, I can't even remember what sparked that. I think I again, I think
it was another, you can call it a God thing, a universe thing, whatever you
believe in. It was one of those things that, that it kept getting put in
front of me of like an ad to write a book. And then it would
come up on a conversation of, oh, you should write a book. And then I
would see it again somewhere else. And I'm like, this is a sign.
Somebody's sending me a sign that I need to write a book.
(20:56):
Maybe it was just interactions and talking to people too and kind of just sharing
my story. They're like, gosh, you should write a book. And for a while I
was mulling it over and I was trying to figure out how to do it
and I was talking to a couple different like book coaches and things like that.
And I actually landed with Adam Davis. Are you familiar with
that name? Adam Davis originally wrote
a devotional for law enforcement and it's been 10
(21:20):
or 12 years ago now, I think since he wrote it. He's written
several books since then, but he's a well known keynote speaker. Former law enforcement
officer turned author and business coach, super awesome
guy. And so soon as I found him, like, it just
aligned. I was like, okay, like, we're very similar. You get me.
Like, you'll understand my jargon when I write. Like, you'll get the story, like
(21:42):
all of these things, rather than me trying to explain the stuff to like, Joe
Schmo, you know, so he was like, yeah, you got a
story. Like, let's do it. And so we put it all together and kicked
it out. But the, the incredible thing has been to me is how many
women specifically who have, who have read it and then messaged me
back and said, like, I am living your story. It's
(22:03):
the same. And it's, it's validating to hear somebody else talk
about the same things. Because I thought it was crazy. Like, I thought I was
crazy. I thought it was just a part of the job of what we have
to deal with in order to here all of these things. So
it's been, it's been very humbling to hear
those stories come back to me too. Yeah, absolutely. How
(22:24):
long process was it to write the book and get it
published? I want
to say like six or eight months. I mean, it's just, it's kind
of on your own timeline of how quick you want to write and are able
to write and get everything out on paper.
For me, it wasn't hard to share the story. It was more difficult to like,
(22:45):
organize it, if that makes sense. So having the structure and like the
coaching part of it was helpful there as far as organizing everything I wanted to
put on paper because the part of it's my story and the other part of
it is resources for others and nutrition, fitness, mindset, and
leadership to take back your own control. So that if you
find yourself struggling, like, know that you have more control than you think you do,
(23:07):
and you can still create the life that you want to live by, by taking,
by using these pillars and putting them into practice.
How does it feel to be able to share like that message with others now?
I mean, I know you said that you're getting a lot of good feedback from
it and like, it's helping a lot of people,
but. Because I can just tell, like, you know, I see your posts all the
(23:28):
time and I see like the genuine genuineness after Monday.
And, you know, you don't
take that big career leap without wanting to help others in the first place.
And then you write the book on top of it. Like, how
awesome is that to have that platform to be able to help others?
(23:49):
I mean, I don't take it lightly. And I think
it's been a long and incredibly messy healing
journey too because what
happened after I left was basically my body crashed out like I was
in full adrenal fatigue. I gained 25, 30 pounds,
(24:09):
didn't have the ability to work out. Like my body wouldn't recover.
Honestly, I've probably spent 25, $30,000 in doctors
and trying to have them help me figure this out and get my body back
to what I would consider normal. For me still not quite there
yet, but getting closer. Part of that was mental health therapy
(24:29):
to get rid of a lot of trauma. Some that was not police that I
was still holding on to. A lot of it was from, from that experience but
some prior to that even
so I mean it's just, it's taken me time to evolve too. As
far as like when I got out it was I need to sell
a service and I need to get paid. Like it, like literally that's what
(24:52):
it started as. And it started as well. People need to be fit
to fit for duty. People need to be in shape. And that's literally what it
started as. It's like, I'm going to get you fit for duty. Since then it's,
it's evolved to a much more and I've talked to business coaches and other people.
They're like, Monica, you're not in survival mode anymore. Now where are you going? And
I'm like, holy, I'm not in survival mode anymore. Like I can actually
(25:14):
make a decision with a clear head. That's not fear based, that's
not like survival based, you know. So
I've been fortunate. For the women who I've worked with, the thing that I enjoy
most is seeing that mindset shift and seeing them, I
call it like their glow up. It's like during a six month one on one
program, there's usually halfway through like something clicks and you can see it, you
(25:36):
can feel it where all of a sudden they're like, nope, my boundaries
are my boundaries. I'm leaving work at work when my radio shuts off. I'm not
thinking about it, I'm going kayaking. Oh, by the way, I've
reversed my pre diabetes. I'm down 30 pounds.
My life is better than it's ever been and that's
what's most fulfilling for me. And my hope is that
(25:58):
I'm, I'm basically trying to serve those who are serving others
so that they can better serve the people who they want to serve but also
like live a life on their own. Terms. Yeah.
Have you met Jennifer yet through adb? Jennifer
Anderson? Not yet, but I know
(26:18):
who that is. So I went through her first responder coaching
certification just a couple months ago, and she
has a lot of. I. I need to really introduce you and, like, make that
connect, because she. She has a very good
story of just going through it with her husband on the spouse side,
and that's how she got her journey into coaching.
(26:41):
And then I went through her program recently, the past few months.
And when you start going through those coaching programs, you realize,
like, coaching is not
necessarily, like, telling people what they want to hear. Like,
you're pushing them to better themselves. And
sometimes those boundaries need to be pushed to make sure that you're not
(27:05):
doing the same thing. You've been doing either wrong or bad
that whole time. And you got to change that mindset from
I'm just surviving to thriving. And,
you know, I love that you both. Like I said, she does. She has, you
know, her own deal. And I love it that you guys are out there doing
that because we need that in this profession. Like,
(27:26):
we don't need a bunch of crabs in a bucket. We need people that want
to support each other and, like, make each other, like,
be successful. That's what I was telling somebody the other day. Like, I'm a very
competitive person. Like, I. You know, I think
it's part of, like, being a cop that, like, if you get on a very
proactive shift, you want to go out there and, like, man, I made the coolest
(27:48):
arrest or I made the biggest drug bust. And, like, that's cool. Like, I like
catching criminals, but I also like
when my partners make big drug busts and make big warrant
arrests and, like, fine guns. Because you want to know why? Because
that means we're all out there doing stuff that we enjoy, and we're all
serving the citizens. Like, I want to see them do just as well as I
(28:09):
do. It's not, oh, my God, Britt's got to be the best cop out there.
Like, I want to see everybody succeed. And,
you know, there's too many people in this profession that, like,
they only want to see themselves succeed. And, like, we've got to change that
mindset. And, you know, the whole
mantra of, like, checking your personal life the
(28:31):
door is no longer a realistic thing, in my opinion.
Like, life and career intertwine. You know, your career
affects your life, your life affects your career. And you
can't just say, hey, you should check your personal life at the door. Like, that
affects your job. Like, every Day. And like supervisors
anymore need to be coaches because they've got to manage a
(28:53):
shift of, you know, five, six individual personalities that have
different interests, different lives. Like this whole,
well, that's the way we've always done it needs to end, in my opinion.
Yeah, I think it goes back to taking a vested interest in
somebody. I, you know, I used to say
(29:14):
a lot of times, and this is how things got started with the
Slimy Sergeant. Actually, I was always somebody
who I, I'm very observant. Naturally. And I, and I mean,
cops, typically we pick up on behavior, right? Yep. Well, me more
so in like a personal standpoint. Like I would do that with my co workers.
And typically, just naturally when you think about, I just kind of observe like what's
(29:37):
going on and how everybody's doing. So for instance, like every
once in a while, like I'd get somebody be like, gosh, this guy's being an
absolute dick today. Like, what's wrong with him? And I'm like, I wonder what
is wrong with him actually. And I actually went and asked
him on shift. I was like, hey man, like, you doing okay? He's like, I
put my dog down last week. Bingo. Yep,
(29:58):
bingo. So let's stop calling him a dick. Let's ask him how he's doing.
But with the, with the Slimy sergeant, he was going through a massive, like, public
breakup, which was part of his problem because he liked to date everybody in the
pd. I digress. But he was going through a
massive breakup and at the time he came into shift and
his eyes were red, bloodshot, looked like he had been up all night type of
(30:21):
thing. And all it was was a text. Hey, are you doing okay?
I know you're going through some like, if you want to talk to somebody, I'm
here. I don't go blab to anybody else because I didn't. It's like A and
B conversation. I'm not spilling your. To everybody else on shift.
If you need anything, let me know. Well, of course, my husband,
I think he and I had just started dating at the time, was like, you
(30:43):
know, when you send that text that, that they think that you're into them. Right.
I was like, what? I'm
not inside of a guy's brain to know what that means to them, apparently. But
literally that's all it was, was a kind hearted gesture of, are you
okay? Yeah. Trying to be a friend, a shift mate. Yeah. Not an open
door to anything else by any means, but yeah, a lot of times people are
(31:04):
going through a Lot of shit. You just have to stop and ask them. Like,
don't door up just the bitch about everything. Like, ask them how their day is.
Exactly. Because that negativity breeds more negativity.
And then it spreads like a wildfire around the department and it ruins the whole
department's morale. And then they're like, well, I wonder why everybody's, you know, miserable
at work. Well, it's because you don't handle the problem
(31:25):
originally and just check on that person or take care of the issue, whatever the
case may be, and you let it get out of control. And then here
we are six months later. Yeah,
yeah. So you're doing some national
conferences now. How did you start
getting going down that route? And that's
(31:47):
an awesome opportunity to like spread your message.
How are you enjoying that? Yeah. So it's
been a full circle moment for me because my goal was always
to end up out in training. I was, I had
tried my hand at firearms instructor school. Didn't make it through
the first time. Don't think I'll get an opportunity to do that again unless I
(32:08):
go through the NRA side of things, which is okay.
But I had applied for fto, wasn't selected for fto. I still
have a laser instructor certification, so I'm still active,
Active shooter certified. I was trying to go down the path of becoming
to having a position out the training center and being one of those people out
there. Again, applied for that, didn't get chosen one reason or another,
(32:32):
but that was my end goal. I volunteered to help with the academy at any
time I could. Like the answer was always no, unless it was
one of my good friends let me come out and help her teach, like domestic,
like her domestic violence block, something like that. So that
was always my goal. Not to mention you don't see many women in those training
roles, especially defensive tactics, firearms driving. You just don't.
(32:55):
And it used to be my goal that I really wanted to get on the
gun range because to this day I don't know of a female state firearms instructor.
There could be one out there, but I'm not heard of one, met one. Don'T
know and actually say that I don't think I'd know one
either. Exactly. So perhaps
I can help on the outside in from that perspective now. But
(33:17):
I was wanting to get out into training. And so it's been a full circle
thing that now I'm able still to teach and train. It's just from a different
perspective on the outside looking in. So I always want to do
that I'm bid certified. I went through BID school instructor school here.
You know, they did, they did let me go through that.
So I've been, I've been wanting to public speak and get up there for a
(33:38):
while. Being a CrossFit coach, naturally you're up talking in
front of people and working them through the same stuff every day. So it was
really easy to pick up and to roll into the similar thing. Just different course
material. Right. So I mean it was one of those
things that through networking. Network. Network, network. I
can't say like the biggest thing that will help you out in your career in
life. Network, Network, network. I met a
(34:01):
retired Dallas police officer who was a 30 year lieutenant
female out of Dallas. She's badass. I love her to pieces.
She retired and became a first responder life coach in a couple different
capacities. We met through Facebook and she was
the one who plugged me into the Texas Women of Law Enforcement conference
which is held in Fort Worth every year she's plugged me into one of the
(34:24):
Dallas police women's symposium events down there. And then
in the same light, there are a couple opportunities that I plugged her into. Like
she and I did a women's law enforcement summit in New Orleans
last spring that we traveled together. Got to split the room and kind of do
that together too. So it's been fun. But
a lot of it's from networking and word of mouth and trying to get in
(34:46):
front of the right people. LinkedIn is another great resource. Just connected
with somebody today on a women's law enforcement conference board today that
was like, hey, you have an event coming up, do you need somebody?
So it's like it's networking, it's shooting your own shot. It's just,
you just got to get, if you're gonna do it, you got to get up
there and go after it. But it's been a lot of fun. I love the
(35:07):
in person events because you, you get to meet people in person versus talking to
them through a screen, which, I mean, I enjoy that too. But you just can't
replace like being in person like in the same room with all those people.
Absolutely. And you know, for people, it's never a lot
of smaller agencies. You know, people may never get to go to those big conferences
through their agency and they may have to pay for themselves. But I
(35:28):
never went to one until about two years ago and I finally went
and I came back so refreshed afterwards because
you there at this particular conference, there's people from all over the world
with different views on law enforcement and different ideas. And, like,
I came back and I was like, man, this is awesome. Like, I've got such
a good mindset again. And, like, it helps to get out
(35:52):
and network and meet people. And I'll never forget, I went back
again this year to that conference and we actually stayed on site and we got
to network so much more this year. And
I actually ended up getting my first article published out of it because I got
out and networked this time. Yeah. And the guy gave me, like,
such great advice on, like, writing a persuasive article.
(36:13):
And I was like, you know, that actually makes a lot of sense.
He's like. He's like, man, your article is fine. But it was. It was an
academic article. Like, no one wants to read an academic article
unless it's in, like, a peer reviewed journal. And I was like, okay, that makes
sense. And he gave me some advice. And, like, I sat there for like a
week and a half with, like, writer's block. And I was like, I don't know
(36:35):
what to write about. And I was at the conference and I was fixing to
go to bed one night and it just hit me and I knocked it out
in like an hour. And he was like, man, that's so much better. He's like,
we'll publish this one. Sweet. I would have never done it without, like,
going to the conference and networking and, like, meeting him. And, like,
I would have never came out of my comfort zone to do that. Like, I'm
working on my doctorate, but, like, I hate writing. Like, I'm not a writer.
(36:59):
And he made me actually feel like
my article was halfway decent, you know, like, and so
that's all it takes is somebody being a positive influence and, like,
giving you that push sometimes to, like, hey, take that chance.
Like, the worst I can tell you is no, like, come out of your comfort
zone a little bit. And, like, I try to tell people all the time it's
(37:21):
okay to fail. Like, you can fail. Just
come back stronger next. And, like, learn from those mistakes that you
made when you failed and just do better moving forward.
Like, I. I got out of law enforcement covered and took an
insurance agent job. Terrible time to take a fully commissioned job.
Yeah. And they put me in a part of town that they had more people
(37:44):
didn't have insurance and did. And it
went beyond terrible. Like, I failed, but
I learned from it. Like, you know, I would have never went down
the journey of getting my doctorate and master's degree without, like,
failing. I would have been fine just Being a city cop, being a corporal,
working overnights, you know, and we've
(38:06):
got to realize that we have talents and, like, we need
to use them. Yep, absolutely.
You know. So what's next for you?
I'm working on getting in person more, working on booking more events
for spring of 2026. Just working on
expanding the business. I started a school group not too
(38:30):
long ago that's for the women that I serve with the
goal of building that SafeNet community for women.
You don't have to be working towards a nutrition and fitness
lifestyle, like, kind of goal. You could get in there just because you want to
be in a positive community where you can network and grow.
It's geared towards personal and professional goals, growth in one way or another
(38:54):
with those nutrition and fitness resources in there if you need them.
But that's not like a prerequisite for you to get in there. Because I found
there's always been a gap for women as far as having, like, supportive people to
lean on, especially other women. We tend to compete with other women since there's so
few of us. And so I'm working to
build that community as well. So that's in progress. And then
(39:16):
just more events, hoping to get my book in front of more eyeballs,
all of those good things when we get done. I'll give you another event you
should attend next year that's early in spring 2026 that I think you would
do very well at. Cool. And they actually give you
a free conference if you get selected to teach there. So, I mean,
even better, you get a full week of good classes too. Yeah.
(39:42):
What's one piece of advice for any female
person that's getting into a first responder role? What's one piece of
advice that you would tell them? Like, hey, just take
this into account, like, over the whole journey of your career.
I think the biggest lesson that I learned was that I lost myself and trying
to please other people. And so my biggest
(40:05):
piece of advice and takeaway is stay true to who you are. Because
if you don't, you'll literally wage a war inside yourself.
Because that's exactly what happened to me. It was fighting myself and who
I was trying to be. I don't
want to say I was trying to be accepted, but when you're new at a
department, like, you're trying to go with the flow of things, you're not trying to
(40:27):
go against the grain necessarily. So it's not like you're in a high school
clique trying to fit in necessarily, which there can be that aspect of it. But
that's like not your goal, right? Like you're just trying to make a good
impression and show that you can hold your own and basically just
earn your spot. But you can do that by staying
true to. You don't feel like you have to make yourself
(40:48):
smaller just to fit in or to go with the flow.
And if you do, if you are recognizing that you're having to
go through any of that, then maybe that department is not for you.
There will be other places where your value is supported and respected.
Absolutely. 100%. 100%.
(41:09):
So if people want to join your community, where
can they join your community at? How can they get a hold of you? Where
can they get your book? The
main website where everything is listed. It's
50fierceandfit.com info where you
can find everything. I'm on all the social media platforms that's all linked on there.
(41:30):
The book and the school group is also linked on there. So that's. That's the
one place you can find me. There's a free resource you can download too. It's
called a Shift Work Nutrition Guide. If you're looking for some introductory advice
on how to improve your nutrition and also how to make it fit for shift
so that you can improve your energy, you can kick the brain fog and maybe
start losing a couple extra pounds and inches, that's. That's the very first place to
(41:53):
start. So there's a free resource there for you too. I love that. I love
it. Guys. Everybody give Monica a follow. She's
welcome back anytime. And Monica, I wish you much success
moving forward. Thank you, Brent. I really appreciate it. Have a good
night. You too.
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