“I’m Not The Man — I’m A Man”

I ain’t out here claiming to be the man. I’m just a man. A man who’s been through hell. A man who’s lost time, lost people, lost pieces of himself along the way — and still didn’t fold.
In this episode, I speak from the gut. About identity. About the fight to hold onto your name when the world wants to label you something else. It’s about pain. It’s about pride. It’s about saying, “This is who I am — scars, mistakes, and all.”

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up, y'all? This is a grind, a real talk,
real life. In today's episode, it is called I don't
wanna be the man. I just wanna be Amen. Look
at a hit for a second. I see a lot
of people. They spend their whole life chasing something, the fame,
the spotlight, the street rep the money, the title, the respect,

(00:22):
the boss status. They wanna be the man, but not me.
All I ever wanted was to be Amen. A good man,
a free man, a man who can walk with his
head up and sleep at night comfortable, clear, unbothered by
the way of always looking over my shoulder. People ask

(00:45):
me sometimes, do you ever wish you could go back
and change something? And it's shocked when I say, nah,
Here's the truth. If I went back and changed a
single thing, just one choice, one mistake, one heartbreak, one hustle,
one loss, I wouldn't be who I am right now.

(01:06):
I wouldn't be the version of me now. Maybe this
version ain't perfect, maybe he still got wounds and warrants
and worries, but he's real. He survived some shit. Most
folks wouldn't last a weekend. Iron these scars, iron, this growth, iron,
this wisdom, so no, I don't wanna change nothing, because

(01:31):
those choices they built me. They made me who I
am today. But let me tell you what does wear
me down. Probation courtrooms, the constant feeling that I ain't
never truly free, even when I'm not locked up. Every
time I think I'm about to breathe a little, a

(01:54):
little easier, I should say, they slap another five years
on me. I'm sitting here doing the math and realizing
I've been tied to the system, probation, pro violations, court
dates for close to thirty years of my life. That's
down there, in three decades of living like a man
on a leash. They talk about rehabilitation like it's real,

(02:16):
like there's some in go, but I swear they build
these systems to keep you stuck. I ain't out here, whylin,
I ain't out here causing chaos, but they don't care.
They want you in the trap. And I don't mean
the dope house, I mean the system trap. I remember,

(02:36):
back in the day, when I was knee deep in
the game, I used to tell people I don't want
to be the man. I just want to be a man,
and I meant it. I didn't care about having the
flashiest car, the biggest stack, or the heaviest name on
the block. I just wanted to make it through without

(02:56):
the weight of the world crushing me, without the FEDS watching,
without looking over my shoulder every time I drive to
the store. All every wanted was freedom, piece a place
to breathe some nights, or I ain't worried who's gonna
come knocking some mornings where I wake up and the wait,

(03:17):
it's not there. Man. They got these memis online. They
say stuff like, you know you're old when you get
excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. Well, I'm
at the point in my life where peace of mind
is better than any payday. And don't get it twisted.

(03:38):
I still built for the storm, still sharp, but I
trade the chaos for calm these days, any days, Lena,
be real for a second. You ever meet those people
who act like they never did nothing wrong in life,
like they came out of the womb with a halo
and a clean record. Always laugh like, yeah, okay, Karen,

(04:03):
tell me about how you never even got a speeding ticket,
but somehow your son has a whole meth lab in
the garage. So now I don't wish I could go back.
I made choices that led to consequences, and consequences that
led to growth. I may not be the man, but

(04:24):
I'm becoming a better man every day, And honestly, that's
all I ever wanted to be. A man who takes
care of his own, who stands on what he believes in,
who don't bow down to a broken system, even when
that system tries to keep them shackled. So to anyone

(04:46):
out there feeling stuck, feeling tired, feeling like you'll never
be free of the weight they put on your back,
just remember being a man ain't about having everything. It's
I stand in tall, even when everything feels stacked against you.
You don't have to be the man. Just have to

(05:08):
be amen with heart, the truth, with grit, and that
that's enough. This has been the grind, real talk, real life.
I don't want to be the man. I just want
to be amen. If it hit you, share it with

(05:28):
somebody who needs to hear it. I'll catch y'all next time.
Keep standing tall, Peace,