13. When Rest Feels Wrong

Ellen reflects on a truth many of us avoid: rest isn’t easy. In fact, for a lot of us, rest feels wrong—like we're breaking an unspoken rule. In this solo episode of Hard at Work, Ellen unpacks the layers of grind culture, internalized productivity pressure, and the self-sabotage that shows up when we finally try to slow down.

She kicks off the episode by answering an AMA question from a listener who's struggling to maintain boundaries on a leadership team that never stops working. What do you do when the people around you treat 2 a.m. emails like a badge of honor, and you’re trying not to burn out? Ellen offers practical scripts, reframes, and real talk about what's actually in your control—and what's not.

From the influence of capitalism and white supremacy on our inability to rest (with learning from Tricia Hersey and her book, Rest is Resistance), to simple tools to shift out of survival mode (thank you, Britt Frank and the “DEFUSE” method), Ellen invites listeners to look honestly at what keeps them busy and what they might be avoiding when they resist stillness.

Whether your weekends feel like a second shift or your rest comes with a side of guilt, this episode will help you name what’s happening and offer ideas for doing things differently—without shame, and without apology.