You Only Attract What You Are: How to Become a Lovable Partner - Tiana Zang & Justin Butcher

In this eye-opening and heartfelt episode, Tiana Zhang, co-founder of My Mindful Match and co-host of the Deconstructing Dating podcast, breaks down the myths of modern dating. She shares how true connection begins with deep self-awareness, realistic expectations, and intentional action—not swiping endlessly or chasing “perfect” partners.

With decades of experience in hospice care and human relationships, Tiana brings unmatched insight into love, loss, growth, and what truly sustains long-term relationships. Whether you're single, dating, or rebuilding your love life, this conversation will shift your perspective and help you attract the partner you deserve by becoming the partner you seek.

🎯 Key Takeaways

00:00 – Why you can only attract people as emotionally healthy as you are

01:16 – Maladaptive dating patterns and how to break them

04:22 – Why successful young men are hiring matchmakers

06:12 – Dating apps: “Amazon for humans” and why they’re failing us

09:03 – Relationships fail when one partner stops growing

11:17 – Vision + Plan + Action… and feedback: the transformation equation

14:31 – “Speak it aloud”—the power of intentionality in finding love

17:35 – When your “deal breakers” are just “preferences” in disguise

20:18 – The evolving landscape of modern women and masculine energy

25:04 – How your relationship impacts every other area of your life

28:38 – Setting goals that actually align with your time and values

32:40 – Why My Mindful Match is disrupting traditional matchmaking

36:07 – Tiana’s most profound insight from 20 years in hospice

39:49 – Verbalizing needs and expectations in a relationship

42:42 – Communication is everything—in business and in love

48:26 – Vision boards are not enough—what are you actually doing?

50:22 – Being “too picky” may be costing you the love of your life

53:13 – Be bold: Rejection doesn’t define you, in dating or business

59:18 – You create your reality. Don’t let false beliefs run your life

01:03:34 – You don’t need to fit in the room—own the room

“You can want a partner all day long—but what are you doing to become one?” - Tiana Zhang

If this episode helped you rethink your approach to love, relationships, or your own growth, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Love starts with truth, intention, and the courage to try again.

🔗 Connect with Tiana Zhang

Website: mymindfulmatch.com

Instagram: @my_mindfulmatch

Podcast: Deconstructing Dating: Debunking the Myths of Courtship

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