Get Your Mind Right

Wekcome back, men! In today’s episode, we’ll discuss why intimacy in marriage isn’t about taking—it’s about giving—and how getting your mind right can transform both your perspective and your relationship.

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God’s Gift of Physical Intimacy, Part 2: Get Your Mind Right

In our second week on God’s gift of physical intimacy, we’re focusing on something that happens outside the bedroom: getting our minds and hearts right about sex. Last time, we explored how serving and cherishing our wives in everyday life—like speaking her love language or helping around the house—sets the stage for intimacy. This week, we’re going deeper into the mental and spiritual foundation that fuels healthy physical intimacy in marriage.

1. Intimacy Is About Giving, Not Just Having

Most of us were raised in a culture that trains us to think about sex selfishly. Movies, TV, and even locker-room talk usually frame intimacy as something to “get.” But the Bible paints a radically different picture.

Philippians 2:4 (NLT) says: “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

Romans 12:10 (NLT) adds: “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”

These verses remind us that intimacy is not about taking, but about giving. When a husband enters intimacy with the mindset of honoring his wife—meeting her needs, showing her she is desired, and giving her something he shares with no one else—it changes the entire experience. A marriage retreat speaker once put it this way: “Stop thinking about having sex, and start thinking about giving sex.” That shift in perspective can transform not only the bedroom but also the entire marriage.

2. Reset Unrealistic Expectations

Another place many couples struggle is with false expectations. If your picture of physical intimacy has been shaped by media or pornography, you’ve been misled. Real intimacy in marriage does not look like a movie scene.

Here’s the reality:

• It doesn’t always happen quickly.
• It doesn’t always look perfect.
• It isn’t about endless passion or flawless performance.

Instead, God designed sex to be about genuine connection, patience, and love. A healthy marriage won’t mirror what’s seen online—it will reflect real life, with all its ups and downs. When we surrender our expectations to God and embrace reality, we free ourselves from disappointment and discover deeper satisfaction in His design.

Romans 12:2 (NLT) says: “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

God’s will for intimacy is good, pleasing, and perfect—but only when we renew our minds to see it His way.

3. Helping Your Wife Get Her Mind Right

Physical intimacy is not just physical—it’s emotional, relational, and spiritual. A wife who...