Receiving Criticism from Your Wife

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Hey, men.  Today we’re going to talk about receiving criticism from our wives.  If you’re like me, your wife is often the last person that you want to give you criticism. I have pretty thick skin, but I can get all bent out of shape at the slightest criticism from my wife.  I think that’s because there is no one in the world that I want to respect me more than my wife. In Emerson Eggerichs’ book “Love and Respect - the Love She Desires; the Respect He Desperately Needs.”, he points out that what a man desires most from his wife is to feel respected.  It’s hard to feel respected when you’re being criticized.  It’s a knee jerk reaction to feel disrespected when someone points out a shortcoming or a flaw. I know some of you may be in a marriage where your wife’s criticism is anything but constructive.  I pray that God continues to strengthen you to keep fighting for your relationship if that is the case. But for most of us, our wife isn’t criticizing us because she wants to belittle us or tear us down. She genuinely wants the best for us.  

There is a difference between helpful criticism and constant nagging.

Responding well to healthy criticism from our wives can help us grow as a husband and father.  It demonstrates we’re teachable. This is not the same thing as being emasculated by constant criticism. We should seek to give our wives the benefit of the doubt, but it may also be helpful to call in a trusted spiritual leader for discernment. 

Proverbs 25:24  It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic  than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

• Give your wife the benefit of the doubt.  Treat her criticism as something she is offering because she wants the best for you.  She hopes to motivate you. She wants to see you be the kind of husband and father God has called you to be.. 
• Ask her to be specific. Specific in ways that she sees need for improvement or change - 
• Vague - I don’t feel like a priority any more. 
• Specific - You’re coming home later and when you’re home, we rarely talk.  When you have time off, it is spent on your hobbies. Using “I feel because statements” can be very helpful here. 
• If you do feel like your wife constantly criticizes, call in some help.  Get a spiritual leader or trusted brother and sister in Christ to listen in and give you insight. Don’t turn it into a gripe session. Give your spouse advance notice that you’re going to do this.
• Honey, it seems like in the majority of our conversations, you’re criticizing me.  I know I’m not perfect, but it’s out of hand. I’m asking for some help because I’m committed to our marriage. I’m committed to you, but it’s wearing me out and I need some help. 
• Keep serving her.  Keep loving her like Christ loves the church. 
• Ultimately, you practice love or respect because beyond your spouse you see Jesus Christ and you envision a...