March 8, 2025 • 42 mins
Love and betrayal—two sides of the same coin, closer than we’d like to admit. In this episode, we’re unpacking the complicated ways love and trust can be tested, and how the people closest to us sometimes become the ones who hurt us the most.
Is betrayal always the end, or can love survive it? Can someone truly love you and still betray you? We’re diving into the emotions, the lessons, and the fine line that separates devotion from deception.
Let’s talk about it—honestly, openly, and without judgment.
Take a dive with us into our first Series: Love, Lies & Loyalty.
Midnight Thought of the Day:
If you truly love someone, what is the point in Betrayal?
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
*inaudible*
(00:30):
Yeah, it's a bar.
Mr. Brooooskiiii.
I feel we're here to bring you.
The Midnight Night Exchange of the Nocturnal Ideas.
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I'm a little goofy, y'all.
Oh my goodness.
Let me control the sound effect.
These sound effects, y'all, we're really going to give y'all an episode of us just messing around on the mixer.
I promise you, like it really gets you in the mood.
Like, oh my God, this is hilarious.
So, y'all, welcome to our series one, episode one of Love, Lies and Loyalty.
(01:18):
For those tuning in, we want to thank you all for taking your time out today to join us on The Midnight Exchange.
We're not going to keep you for a long time, but we're going to keep you long enough.
So tonight on episode one, it is titled The Thin Line Between Love and Betrayal.
The thin line between love and betrayal.
(01:45):
What that mean to you, Mr. Broskii?
The thin line between love and betrayal, huh?
It's close. It's real close. It's real close.
I don't know.
Can you love somebody and still betray them?
Or can you love somebody so much that you're willing to betray them to keep them safe?
(02:13):
That's a good one. I believe yes to both.
I don't know. I think that can be argued, honestly.
I think that can be argued.
It can be.
We're going to come back to that.
We're going to kick it off.
Quick question. Why do you think people betray the ones they love for real?
(02:35):
Because people don't know how to love themselves.
I mean, nowadays, I think betrayal is a lie.
It's like one of those ancient words. You don't hear that a lot.
Like, oh, you betrayed me. It's like people just glorify loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.
(02:56):
But I mean, betrayal is still very real.
And I don't think people understand the meaning of betraying someone you love
and how the simple things can be considered betrayal also.
So what is like, you may run down what would be like a betrayal to you.
Like, well, we're going to be betray because to me, if you truly love somebody
(03:22):
and like you really care for that person, even if you don't love yourself,
that don't really make you want to betray somebody, betray somebody.
True, true. OK, so let's see.
OK, so let's just go off of personal experience, right?
Because we're going to give personal experience.
(03:43):
Believe me, we're not speaking about things we haven't experienced,
no matter how young or old, everybody has a different experience.
So I think one example for me is I was betrayed by someone I loved
that probably didn't even love me back.
And pretty much they were driving my car, going to see other females,
(04:12):
doing whatever they was doing while I was working.
And then when I would see them, it would be, oh, hey, baby,
I haven't been doing that in all day.
You know, that's like a form of betrayal.
Like, if you love someone, you don't need to lie to them.
And then when you know something's up and you come to them like,
hey, like, are you doing something I should know about?
(04:35):
Like, what's up?
Like, tell me what's going on.
And then they lie to you.
I mean, that's betrayal.
Like, you're betraying my trust.
I think that's the main thing people do in relationships,
especially when they say they love someone, you betray their trust.
And I don't think it means you don't love them.
(04:57):
I think sometimes it could be a lot deeper than, oh,
you don't love me because you betrayed my trust.
Like, I mean, there could be some situations where things lead to that betrayal.
But if you're in an honest relationship and you haven't done anything for them
to betray your trust or betray you in any shape or form,
(05:18):
but in my personal experience, it's always been a betrayal of trust.
In my eyes, you don't love me.
You can't love me if you would betray me in that way.
And I gave you a real, true, authentic version of myself.
I didn't falsify anything. I never led you astray.
I gave you the real me.
(05:40):
There's no reason to betray my trust.
You could just keep it a hundred. You know what I mean?
So that's for me. What about for you?
What is, you know, betraying the one you love?
What's an example?
What's something you don't even been through?
What's an example for you?
Trust is a big one. You can't betray somebody's trust, you know?
(06:03):
Back when I was goddamn, I was on my little young boy shit, my little hot boy shit.
Don't be shy.
You know, paying a little Florida raise me.
You know, Florida baby, Florida raise me.
Florida baby, Florida raise me.
I'm from Brunswick, y'all. I'm from Brunswick.
Nah, let's do it, you know. Down south, baby.
(06:24):
But, um, yeah. But back when I was messing with this chick, you know, little snow bunny.
That thing for the snow bunnies.
Yeah, okay.
He's got a little caramel at home.
Don't get no ideas.
But, um, anywho. But I was talking to her or whatever.
(06:47):
You know, we was talking. We worked together first.
But we was talking. We was telling, you know, she was telling me all these little sad stories or whatever.
She was going through it with her mans or whatever. Stuff of that nature, you know.
Mr. Me want to be, you know, instead of being a pimp, want to be capped.
Want to be capped to save a motherfucka boy. God damn, boy.
(07:08):
But you live and you learn, you know.
But, you know, we chillin', we talking.
So she end up getting back where her ex was.
And I found out because my sister sent me a Facebook post.
And she's talking about daddy's home.
Boy, I felt betrayed.
(07:30):
But hey, listen, boy, I ain't never want to beat a motherfucka up so bad.
I ain't never want to slap a motherfucka so bad.
Listen, boy, thank God for Tasha, boy.
I was raised right.
But, but nah.
That's a form of betrayal, like, for not keeping it in the book.
All you had to do was keep it real with me from the jump.
(07:52):
And we could have avoided all of that.
So, oh no, betrayal really comes in all shapes and forms though.
You could betray somebody with your loyalty, not being too loyal.
You could betray somebody with lies.
You could even betray somebody with love.
You can. You can. You can.
(08:14):
Good point there. You really can.
So.
People throw that love word around to try and get you in their good graces so they can pull a wool over your eyes.
And I mean, we've all been through relationships.
We've all been through our share of heartbreaks and whatnot.
And we know people say they love you and they really don't love you.
(08:36):
And the point is proven because they'll betray you.
Now, in some cases, there are exceptions in very rare cases.
But there's casual dating.
You know what I mean?
Like, no, you don't love me if you betray me.
You don't even you probably don't even care about me or my thoughts or my feelings.
(08:59):
So that's a little bit about why people betray the ones they love and from our perspective.
So what about the psychology behind cheating, emotional affairs and dishonesty?
So I'm going to give it a buck.
(09:20):
I don't condone it cheating at all.
That's just me. Like, yeah, I'm not going to say cheating is cool, like in that girlfriend boyfriend stage either.
But I feel like especially once you get married and you don't say I do and the vows and shit.
If you're going to cheat while you're married, you might as well go ahead and get that divorce though for real.
(09:44):
You'll be better off staying single or better off just keeping her as your girlfriend.
It's less hurt. That's how I feel. I feel like it caused less hurt.
So cheating while you're married, it's just a no go. I just can't I just can't get jiggy with it.
What about emotional affairs and dishonesty? What about what about that?
And that that thin line? Well, not dishonesty. You shouldn't. Yeah, you shouldn't keep your little white line.
(10:12):
Yeah, you can. You can. That could cause a lot of little hiccups to just keep it above.
If you can keep it above. A lot of things would be copas static.
So let's touch on that a little bit from a psycho psychological.
Oh, my psychological standpoint. So of course, there's that thin line again.
(10:36):
The thin line between love and betrayal. Right. So there is no excuse for cheating and stepping out on your spouse.
But there is also that thin line. Yeah, you can leave them.
But what if you're in a position where you can't actually leave them?
What if you have more than just a dog that you share?
(10:59):
You know, not saying that you shouldn't ultimately be happy and live your your best life possible.
Of course, everyone should be happy in a relationship.
But there is that thin line, those underwritten things that the outside world doesn't know about.
You know what I mean? So it leads to the cheating, that thin line, those that thin line that was crossed, those boundaries that were crossed leads to cheating.
(11:28):
It leads to emotional affairs, which are pretty much.
Oh, it's pretty much a way of cheating emotionally.
You know, you're fond of someone you're confiding in someone male or female sharing with them things that you cannot share with your spouse.
A form of cheating, also, in my opinion.
(11:49):
And then you have the lies, you know, it all coincides with each other.
But there's also. When you get deeper.
So you have the dating phase, right?
Well, you get to know each other, you're going out on nice dates, eating, whatever you decide to do in your dating phase is what you do.
(12:11):
You got your dating phase, right? Then you got the will you be my boyfriend, will you be my girlfriend?
You all have established a relationship, right? You establish a relationship with a person.
So if that relationship keeps going, then you have a proposal.
All right, y'all, y'all are fiance's now.
Then you have marriage.
(12:33):
So as it gets deeper and as more titles are put on there, more permanent titles are put on there, you know that it becomes a very, very, very, very thin line.
You know, when you're in the talking and dating stage and boyfriend, girlfriend phase, then there's a lot of room for betrayal, a lot of room for a lot of room for cheating.
(12:56):
But when you get deep in Beyonce marriage, there is never an excuse to step out on your spouse.
What made you go out and see emotional?
What is that word I'm looking for?
Emotional comfort from another individual.
(13:18):
What's making you have thoughts of cheating or what made you cheat?
You know, what made you lie about where you were or what you were doing or who you you know, whatever that is, you know, it's it's a lot more behind it than just, oh, I don't condone this.
I don't condone that.
Well, if the person wasn't like that when you met them, then what led them to that?
(13:40):
The loves the lies, the loyalty.
You got the love.
Then comes the lies and your question of loyalty or question of why they betrayed you and they went behind your back.
All of this and all alone, it was probably just building up.
(14:01):
Agree.
You could build up.
But I feel like you shouldn't let it build up to the point that it makes you want to do that.
And if you can't talk to your spouse, then why are you with your spouse?
I agree.
Great.
Great.
Communication is important.
I think and I think especially with this topic to prevent yourself from betraying your spouse, whether physically or emotionally, any type of betrayal to prevent yourself from betraying your spouse and betraying their love and trust for you and the relationship.
(14:40):
You have to have a good communication without communication. You have nothing without communication.
You're going to have that cheating emotional affairs and dishonesty and you're going to be betrayed in the end.
But communication, you have to acknowledge the problem.
Both of you have to acknowledge it.
It can't just be one sided.
If I'm acknowledging a problem and you're not acknowledging a problem or you're not talking to me after I address the issue, it's going to go nowhere.
(15:11):
I'm forever talking to myself.
If I come to you and tell you, hey, I'm not happy because of this, that, the third and your only response is, okay, what do you want me to do?
We're never going to come to a resolution that those are that type of neglect that that type of ignorance and not acknowledging what your spouse needs.
(15:37):
It's what leads to these forms of betrayal.
Which still doesn't make it right.
It does not make it right. But you also you can't you can't give 15 percent and expect your spouse to keep giving.
(15:58):
That's true. If they if they keep doing all the work, you're not meeting them halfway.
They give an 80 percent of communication and you give in 20 every time they want to sit down and discuss their.
They're the one talking 90 percent. You're giving 10 even less and less each time.
You know what I mean? Is is is never acceptable.
(16:22):
But you can't ignore the fact that most of these portrayals are caused by things, issues, unresolved issues, poor communication within households.
That's dating boyfriend, girlfriend, marriage proposal, any any stage of a relationship you have with someone.
(16:43):
The trial is just not out of the out of nowhere unless that was their intentions to betray you in the beginning.
You actually love someone. You care about them.
Your world is going to revolve around them. I'm not saying every second, but you're going to want to do whatever you can to make them happy,
whether that's learning how to communicate better, whether that's, you know, getting a second job to make sure that you all have everything you need for the home.
(17:10):
My. Whatever it is, washing the dishes, sleeping in my bed.
You want a laundry, putting gas in the car while she sleeps, whatever it may be, taking the car to get maintenance, whatever it may be to make it easy on your spouse, male or female.
That is what you're going to do if you love them.
(17:33):
Happy spouse, happy house.
Again, there is no excuse, but we're not going to act like actions.
Don't provoke these forms of dishonesty and portrayal.
Yeah, but if I understand, I understand a person going to take so much and was a person that's at their limits, they're at their limits.
(18:02):
But at the same sense, though, if you're going to go out and you're going to do this, you want to go with this person, that person, you might as well just leave.
I agree. I agree. That's easy. I know that's easier said than done. Some people don't put 20 years, 30 years, 40 years into their marriage. Yeah, I know that's easy to say that some people got kids, you know, but.
(18:27):
If you're going to do all that, mama's go ahead and leave that person or, you know, both or both of y'all come to agreements like, all right, baby, it's just not working out at this moment.
How about we separate? Yeah. How about we separate? How about we just go our separate ways for three, three, six months a year?
You feel me? You might need three years. Who knows?
(18:51):
Time heals all. But sometimes that's what you need instead of just acting off of emotions.
I agree. I can't disagree with you on that because most of the time we are not of emotions when you hurt, you know, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people.
(19:15):
And it's so much easier to act up of emotions and get stuck in a situation where you sit there, beat yourself up about it late at night, you know, 10, 10 p.m., 12 a.m., 3 a.m.
But yeah, I mean, I don't disagree with that. I agree with that. I've been on both sides of it. So I can honestly say any anytime I betray someone, it was because they fucking deserved it.
(19:46):
I'm not saying that was the nicer side of me, but I'm just saying like anytime I was betrayed, I probably did not deserve it.
I've been on both sides of the lion, the cheating, the betrayal, the emotional affair. So I can't understand it from both perspectives, but I cannot sit here and say that was OK.
(20:07):
All I can do is say what made me want to do it, which is not excusing the acts. It's not making it right. It's not justifying it.
All I can do is tell you what led me to it and what did or did not stop me. That's all I can do. I'm not going to ever say it was right. I'm not going to ever justify that.
(20:28):
I just I agree with you. Just leave. You know, I'm big on that. Like if it gets too bad, I'm just leave because what's the point in staying and being unhappy?
But so but all said and done. Yeah. Can a relationship truly recover from betrayal? What do you think? I think it now that depends on the individual in itself.
(20:54):
Yeah, because some people, you know, the old saying, forgive and forget.
Shit, easy to say and then listen, I don't know how Jesus did it.
The other cheek, I would have slapped you this. Oh, my God.
(21:16):
Lord, that's it. I'm just keeping the book. It's me, man. It's just me. But in all honesty, I do believe it does depend on the individual if they're going to, you know, stick their relationship fight for it.
Sometimes you do have to fight. Sometimes that shit is not easy. Well, relationships is nice.
(21:41):
We're going to touch on that next. Right. So they need this. I ain't going to go too deep into too much, but it ain't easy. But everybody's different.
Every individual is their own person. And some people takes time. It takes time. You know, they say time heals and time really do heal for you know, for some people.
(22:08):
But sometimes, sometimes it's better to just forgive.
I'm not saying forget. But the first step is that forgiveness stage and sooner or later, a couple years down the line, down the line.
You tend to forget it.
(22:31):
That even happened.
Have you ever had a relationship you recovered from after betrayal?
I cut truth and wrong unfiltered.
No.
(22:53):
Not.
No, not that I could think of off the bat.
Refer up but.
You just like fucking done with it. You betrayed me. That's that's that's that's that line for you. You betrayed me, which I'm done with you.
No warning signs.
No, because I tend to not get myself like, oh, I didn't really tend to get myself in like predicaments like that.
(23:20):
Like when you're emotionally attached.
Yeah. So I will always I will always tell him about like, listen, I look for no relationship.
We could be friends with fuck.
We could do whatever we want to do.
That was shorty for betraying you.
Now, because I was trying to be serious with that little goofy.
(23:41):
I was trying to be serious right now.
I was trying to be serious. I want to be a player.
It was a friendship. I am, you know, that's betrayal. Friendships betrayal. You can't betray your friend, you know.
Yeah, you can't betray a friend. You really can't betray a friend.
You know, that's a topic.
Yeah, that's a topic right there.
(24:02):
Well, you know, I don't kind of go out there.
What was I saying?
You said you haven't really been in a relationship.
Yeah, I never been in a relationship. I kind of just kind of just laid out a foundation what I want and like, and it worked for me.
And it worked.
It don't work. But, you know, so yeah, that's my thought.
(24:29):
For me, I think it depends on the type of relationship.
Um, in the person, you know, who's for you, you know, who playing with you, you don't see the red flag, such and such, you know.
(24:52):
So for me, I definitely think depending on how deep in you are, it's worth a little bit of fight, you know, because sometimes.
We're so in love.
We're so lost in the now that we forget to sit down and get to know one another.
(25:15):
You forget to talk about those flaws you hide and those ugly parts of yourself that you think someone would be ashamed of and that's not worthy of love.
And it really is.
There's someone out there for everyone.
And I think that with communication, depending on the level of the betrayal, you can come back for it now.
(25:40):
It.
It takes forgiving me.
I've been in situations where I just can't forgive. I'd always say, if I can't forgive you, then I'm gonna leave you because there's not there's no need for me to be the bitter black woman that that keeps telling you every other day.
Oh, well, you went to go see that bitch like who you texting that bitch like ain't no need.
(26:03):
And we doing all of that when I can just part ways.
That's when that's my thin line.
If I sit back for a couple hours, a couple of days, and that's just a constant thought.
I can never get over it.
Then I'm gonna have to get over you.
But if I prayed about it, I've been hurt and allow myself to feel and cried and all that.
(26:24):
And I'm like, you know what, God, I can forgive this person.
I can see me forgiving them.
It's gonna take a little bit longer, but I can see me forgiving them to the point where I don't have to mention it every time we argue.
You know, then, yes, but that's when you really, really love someone.
That's another thing. Yeah.
Don't hold that shit against your spouse.
(26:46):
For ever.
Agreed, agreed, agreed.
If you're gonna hold it against them, then you what? Need to leave them.
Nah, for real, because you can't.
That's not love. That's not compromise. That's not communication.
And that is not recovery.
And you can't use that against your spouse all the time.
Like that shouldn't be the fuel to your arguments.
(27:09):
Like, nigga, fuck you.
How many times you done cheated on me?
But you mad that I suck. Why nigga then?
I've been lied to.
But you know, that ain't something that you should do.
You shouldn't use that against your spouse all the time.
That's not love.
You really, I think now I've been through a lot.
I'm gonna tell y'all the story in a minute, but we both had our share of things.
(27:34):
I'm 31 now. Oh, God.
Oh, saying it out loud. I'm 31 now.
And I've been through my share of fuck friends, relationships, cheating, side, side piece, all types of stuff.
Like, I've been through my share of relationships and dealing with individuals and dealing with people and getting to know people.
(28:00):
And I've been betrayed. I have betrayed.
And I can tell you, out of most of them, I probably never loved them.
I just thought I did because of where I was at in life.
And now where I am now, I'm able to think more clearly.
I'm able to realize the importance and communicate.
(28:22):
And I'm able to acknowledge my flaws and let those be known.
And I'm not scared of therapy.
You know, I'm not saying you need therapy in your relationship.
But if you don't went through some shit in your childhood or adulthood, get help.
Get help. Because if you don't, that can interfere with the growth of your relationship.
(28:46):
That can really interfere if you don't get help early on to help your relationship.
Those problems are just going to spill within it.
So, I mean, it took me a while to get where I am in the person I am now.
I'm able to recover because I know who I really love.
(29:07):
And this was before marriage. I had to love myself first.
I had to realize that I didn't need someone.
And then when I started being okay being alone, then I started to find a new self-loving myself.
I found comfort in being alone.
I always crave another individual, but I found comfort in being alone.
(29:30):
I was fine not having sex all the time.
I was fine not giving myself to random individuals that I met in a club.
I was fine with not going to the club all the time.
So, those are things I had to work on within myself in order to become the wife I am today.
Because had I still been that party girl that was in a club doing all kinds of shit,
then I probably wouldn't be a wife right now or where I am as far as career-wise or things I'm doing in my life, my aspirations and dreams.
(30:00):
And you have to change.
You have to change for the better of your relationship because a relationship grows over time.
Over time. So, if you're betraying them in the beginning, you're going to still betray them.
In my experience, let me tell you all a story, right?
(30:21):
This is one I could never recover from.
Now, I lied to them and told them I could, but I never could. And not just me.
It's just a couple of them I could never recover from. So, this specific time, right, this is betrayal if I ever say so.
And when I tell you I ain't lying, the people who was around during that time know I'm not lying.
(30:42):
So, I had a guy I was talking to, right?
Granted, I stopped talking to him to talk to a dude I had started dating, but that didn't last long. It was three months.
They was alleged. That's it. That's all.
So, we were talking. Talking ended up going to dating.
So, you know, I would go see them.
And me, I like to show you how much I care about you with romantic gestures.
(31:09):
Like, you hungry? Let me get you something to eat. Let me bring you some food.
Like, it's your birthday? Okay. What you want to do? I'm bringing you gifts.
Just because things, you know, because that's the type of person I am. I'm just a romantic individual.
I like to show my acts of love with gifts and different acts, things that you just won't forget.
(31:31):
Let's go on a little weekend trip. You know what I mean? Making memories. That's something I like to do.
So, you know, I'm talking about I'd, we'd go out. He'd pay at times.
You know, he was hungry, needed something. Like, you know, I'm sending him money. I'm getting him something to eat.
You know, I'm thinking, like, we own this song, right? You know, we dating.
(31:53):
So, like, this specific day, like, I can't, I can't remember this shit like it was yesterday.
Like, leading up to it, he was acting real weird, right? And granted, we're dating.
And he gave me a promise ring.
And I always said, like, I ain't one of them promise ring type of bitches, like, ever.
(32:17):
Like, when my now husband gave me a promise ring, that's the only man I allowed to give me a promise ring after that.
Because that shit fucked me up so good. That shit fucked me up so bad.
I'm him.
Mr. I'm him. But before him, I had somebody try and give me one.
I said, no, I'm not taking that. You might want to give me a necklace or something.
I'm like, because to me, a promise ring in a relationship is like the step before proposing.
(32:48):
Like, I'm claiming you as mine. I want you to know that I'm serious.
This is what it means to me. I don't know what I mean to y'all, but this is what I mean to me.
Any ring that's on my ring finger that I ain't put there is a claim.
Like, I'm serious about you. And I want to take this further.
Like, I'm talking about this man got on and I'm talking about this shit hurts.
(33:10):
Like, it hurts. I had to really dig deep and find myself after that.
This man really got... I told him, like, if you're going to give me any type of ring, you better have a speech to go along with it.
Like, don't just come bring me no ring, there's no birthday gift or some shit.
You better really have a speech to go along with it.
(33:32):
Like, I ain't playing like that. You want to get serious, you show me you serious, right?
That's just the type of person I am because time... my time is valuable and life is short.
So, he presents the ring to me and I'm coming out of the bathroom.
He's on one knee. He presents the ring, says a speech.
All of this, I can't remember what it was, y'all. I done probably teared up a little bit.
(33:55):
I'm a little crybaby. Except the promise ring, right?
Here I am in the club showing off my ring and yeah, look, he got me my ring. Look, look, look at my ring.
Just a goddamn fool. And all the motherfuckers around me was dumb as hell, too.
Just let me believe that motherfucker was just mine.
So, boom, let's fast forward to this night, the week leading up to it, right?
(34:16):
So, this man done told me all types of lies. I'm in the hospital. Oh, I ain't at work.
Granted, I used to always go to his job at the time to drink. I loved it. I loved the lounge.
I love going there to relax.
So, this particular day, I had talked to him the night before.
(34:39):
It was leading up to the next morning, like 1 a.m., 2 a.m.
Talked to him. Then the next day came and I ain't hear nothing.
So, I'm like, what the hell going on? You know, the nigga is saying I'm punctured as fuck and long.
Y'all lied on. Thought something happened. You know what I mean?
(35:00):
Like, I really thought something happened. So, I didn't know what was going on.
Like, I was house sitting at the time, so I done got damn drove to the club.
Like, let me see if he had work or whatever. Like, I don't know what may be going on.
No, he ain't there. Like, nobody know yet.
So, I just got this feeling like, ugh, something just ain't right.
(35:21):
Like, something is not right about the situation.
Like, I'm talking about blood boiling, boiling, boiling, boiling.
So, you know what I mean? Investigator.
Granted, we both had iPhones, so the messages was going great. They went and going through.
So, I'm on Facebook like, nigga, you got me fucked. Let me find out what I can find out.
And see, I'm a fucker. I always slip up.
(35:43):
This motherfucker done went and got married.
At the fucking courthouse, right?
Blocked me on social media. Blocked my number, right?
So, he didn't know I knew none of this until he called me the next day, right?
So, it's like 3 a.m., right?
And midnight exchange, nocturnal ideas up at 3 a.m., y'all.
(36:06):
On my phone, on Facebook, like I'm going to find something.
And I did. I found the goddamn pictures.
The photographer tagged them in at the courthouse, y'all.
And when I tell you, I saw red.
Oh, I saw red. Now, that is betrayal, y'all.
Like, you hear about that shit in movies and books, but that real life happened to me.
(36:29):
And when I tell y'all I ain't know nothing, I swear to God I ain't know nothing.
And everybody around us knew I didn't know nothing.
They knew and I didn't know. And I never felt bad for that.
I never was mad at them about that. It's just like, damn, like, you could have said something.
But it is what it is. Like, you know, that's then, this is now.
(36:51):
So, you know, the next day, the motherfucker want to come trying to call me, right?
Granted, y'all, I'm seeing red.
I done been at his mama house, I already know how to get there.
And I was like, I'm going to go fuck some shit up. Y'all had to call my daddy.
I had to call my daddy to calm me down.
I told my daddy what happened. I said, daddy, I seen red. I just can't think.
(37:15):
I ain't thinking nothing good, no good thoughts at all.
Like, I'm going to fuck some shit up and I give a fuck about it.
And my daddy called me down.
Daddy called me down and helped me think really, really thick.
And I cried. Y'all, I was hurt. I was really, really hurt.
I cried. I got my shit together.
(37:37):
Took me about a day or two and I just left it at that.
And you try to call me and make excuses and try to explain.
Like, how can you explain yourself now? I know everything now.
Like, even after that situation, like, you try to say it was just a marriage that was, like, staged.
Married. They got married just for the benefits of it.
(38:00):
But that was a fucking lie, too. So for me, it's like lie after lie.
Then on top of that, y'all, this man sent me fake divorce papers.
I can't make this shit up, y'all. I swear to God, I put this on everything I love.
I can't make this up. I got proved to.
Just in case they try and lie about it, I still got proof because I don't believe nothing.
(38:22):
Fake divorce papers. Like, you don't want me that bad.
You just want me for what I can give you.
And that was an ultimate betrayal for me.
Like, you betrayed my trust. You betrayed my love for you.
You betrayed how loyal I was to you.
Like, there was no loyalty given back.
(38:43):
You was lying to me. You didn't even have to lie to me.
You know what I mean? And then you sit here and you make a commitment to me.
And then you go and get married behind my back and say, oh, well, we did it for the kids in case I die.
Nigger still living.
That, in my case, is that ultimate betrayal.
That's that thin line. And this is just on a dating scale.
(39:07):
I can only imagine marriage.
You know, that's that's my one story of the time a motherfucker really betrayed the fuck out of me.
And I almost had to crash out.
Do you hear me? I'm talking about I was so angry.
And this goes back to what I said. If you can't let it go, let them go.
I could not let it go, y'all. I couldn't let it go.
(39:31):
Every time I seen them, I seen red.
You want to take me out on a date to apologize? OK, I'm only going because you paying.
That's it. I'm only going because you're paying.
You don't got no more access to me. You want to apologize?
I won't answer this, but I got drunk one night.
I'm not going to go into depth. I don't want to.
What they say? What's that word? Fifth Amendment.
(39:55):
Third Amendment. Self-incriminate.
Fifth Amendment. Whatever.
So I was drinking one night, y'all, and I was mad as fuck.
Mad as fuck. Like, I can't believe this motherfucker just played in my goddamn face.
This nigga must think I'm a fuck ass nigga. Like, the fuck is wrong with his ass.
But I saw red. I'm like, hey, where you at?
(40:17):
I'm coming over to pull up on this motherfucker.
And I, y'all, when I say I saw red, like, I ain't even going to fuck about my future.
I was ready to go to Mexico. We're going to just leave it at that.
But I'm saying, like, that was a betrayal. I just could not allow myself to get over.
And in cases like that, that's where that thin line is crossed.
(40:41):
Like, people can do so much hurt to you, and then they sit there and say, oh, I love you.
No, you love what I can do for you. You love the idea of me.
You love having me around. You don't really love me.
If you loved me, you wouldn't have done that too.
Facts.
But now, so thank y'all for tuning in on tonight's episode.
(41:05):
We appreciate y'all. We love y'all. You know.
We're going to we're going to go ahead and wrap this up with our midnight thought of the day for the thin line between love and betrayal.
We're going to see y'all for the next episode.
Midnight thought of the day. If you truly love someone, what is the point of betrayal?
(41:27):
We're going to let that sit on your hearts and y'all's minds.
And y'all can either drop your thoughts on our anonymous section or y'all can either put your thoughts
under one of our posts.
We don't know how you want to get it to us.
You don't have to get it to us at all.
You just let that sit on your mind for a little bit.
OK, give you a little food for thought as a midnight thought of the day.
(41:50):
We're going to see you next time.
Have a great night.
Yeah. And on that note.
(42:23):
Thank you.
*inaudible*
(00:30):
Yeah, it's a bar.
Mr. Brooooskiiii.
I feel we're here to bring you.
The Midnight Night Exchange of the Nocturnal Ideas.
(00:52):
I'm a little goofy, y'all.
Oh my goodness.
Let me control the sound effect.
These sound effects, y'all, we're really going to give y'all an episode of us just messing around on the mixer.
I promise you, like it really gets you in the mood.
Like, oh my God, this is hilarious.
So, y'all, welcome to our series one, episode one of Love, Lies and Loyalty.
(01:18):
For those tuning in, we want to thank you all for taking your time out today to join us on The Midnight Exchange.
We're not going to keep you for a long time, but we're going to keep you long enough.
So tonight on episode one, it is titled The Thin Line Between Love and Betrayal.
The thin line between love and betrayal.
(01:45):
What that mean to you, Mr. Broskii?
The thin line between love and betrayal, huh?
It's close. It's real close. It's real close.
I don't know.
Can you love somebody and still betray them?
Or can you love somebody so much that you're willing to betray them to keep them safe?
(02:13):
That's a good one. I believe yes to both.
I don't know. I think that can be argued, honestly.
I think that can be argued.
It can be.
We're going to come back to that.
We're going to kick it off.
Quick question. Why do you think people betray the ones they love for real?
(02:35):
Because people don't know how to love themselves.
I mean, nowadays, I think betrayal is a lie.
It's like one of those ancient words. You don't hear that a lot.
Like, oh, you betrayed me. It's like people just glorify loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.
(02:56):
But I mean, betrayal is still very real.
And I don't think people understand the meaning of betraying someone you love
and how the simple things can be considered betrayal also.
So what is like, you may run down what would be like a betrayal to you.
Like, well, we're going to be betray because to me, if you truly love somebody
(03:22):
and like you really care for that person, even if you don't love yourself,
that don't really make you want to betray somebody, betray somebody.
True, true. OK, so let's see.
OK, so let's just go off of personal experience, right?
Because we're going to give personal experience.
(03:43):
Believe me, we're not speaking about things we haven't experienced,
no matter how young or old, everybody has a different experience.
So I think one example for me is I was betrayed by someone I loved
that probably didn't even love me back.
And pretty much they were driving my car, going to see other females,
(04:12):
doing whatever they was doing while I was working.
And then when I would see them, it would be, oh, hey, baby,
I haven't been doing that in all day.
You know, that's like a form of betrayal.
Like, if you love someone, you don't need to lie to them.
And then when you know something's up and you come to them like,
hey, like, are you doing something I should know about?
(04:35):
Like, what's up?
Like, tell me what's going on.
And then they lie to you.
I mean, that's betrayal.
Like, you're betraying my trust.
I think that's the main thing people do in relationships,
especially when they say they love someone, you betray their trust.
And I don't think it means you don't love them.
(04:57):
I think sometimes it could be a lot deeper than, oh,
you don't love me because you betrayed my trust.
Like, I mean, there could be some situations where things lead to that betrayal.
But if you're in an honest relationship and you haven't done anything for them
to betray your trust or betray you in any shape or form,
(05:18):
but in my personal experience, it's always been a betrayal of trust.
In my eyes, you don't love me.
You can't love me if you would betray me in that way.
And I gave you a real, true, authentic version of myself.
I didn't falsify anything. I never led you astray.
I gave you the real me.
(05:40):
There's no reason to betray my trust.
You could just keep it a hundred. You know what I mean?
So that's for me. What about for you?
What is, you know, betraying the one you love?
What's an example?
What's something you don't even been through?
What's an example for you?
Trust is a big one. You can't betray somebody's trust, you know?
(06:03):
Back when I was goddamn, I was on my little young boy shit, my little hot boy shit.
Don't be shy.
You know, paying a little Florida raise me.
You know, Florida baby, Florida raise me.
Florida baby, Florida raise me.
I'm from Brunswick, y'all. I'm from Brunswick.
Nah, let's do it, you know. Down south, baby.
(06:24):
But, um, yeah. But back when I was messing with this chick, you know, little snow bunny.
That thing for the snow bunnies.
Yeah, okay.
He's got a little caramel at home.
Don't get no ideas.
But, um, anywho. But I was talking to her or whatever.
(06:47):
You know, we was talking. We worked together first.
But we was talking. We was telling, you know, she was telling me all these little sad stories or whatever.
She was going through it with her mans or whatever. Stuff of that nature, you know.
Mr. Me want to be, you know, instead of being a pimp, want to be capped.
Want to be capped to save a motherfucka boy. God damn, boy.
(07:08):
But you live and you learn, you know.
But, you know, we chillin', we talking.
So she end up getting back where her ex was.
And I found out because my sister sent me a Facebook post.
And she's talking about daddy's home.
Boy, I felt betrayed.
(07:30):
But hey, listen, boy, I ain't never want to beat a motherfucka up so bad.
I ain't never want to slap a motherfucka so bad.
Listen, boy, thank God for Tasha, boy.
I was raised right.
But, but nah.
That's a form of betrayal, like, for not keeping it in the book.
All you had to do was keep it real with me from the jump.
(07:52):
And we could have avoided all of that.
So, oh no, betrayal really comes in all shapes and forms though.
You could betray somebody with your loyalty, not being too loyal.
You could betray somebody with lies.
You could even betray somebody with love.
You can. You can. You can.
(08:14):
Good point there. You really can.
So.
People throw that love word around to try and get you in their good graces so they can pull a wool over your eyes.
And I mean, we've all been through relationships.
We've all been through our share of heartbreaks and whatnot.
And we know people say they love you and they really don't love you.
(08:36):
And the point is proven because they'll betray you.
Now, in some cases, there are exceptions in very rare cases.
But there's casual dating.
You know what I mean?
Like, no, you don't love me if you betray me.
You don't even you probably don't even care about me or my thoughts or my feelings.
(08:59):
So that's a little bit about why people betray the ones they love and from our perspective.
So what about the psychology behind cheating, emotional affairs and dishonesty?
So I'm going to give it a buck.
(09:20):
I don't condone it cheating at all.
That's just me. Like, yeah, I'm not going to say cheating is cool, like in that girlfriend boyfriend stage either.
But I feel like especially once you get married and you don't say I do and the vows and shit.
If you're going to cheat while you're married, you might as well go ahead and get that divorce though for real.
(09:44):
You'll be better off staying single or better off just keeping her as your girlfriend.
It's less hurt. That's how I feel. I feel like it caused less hurt.
So cheating while you're married, it's just a no go. I just can't I just can't get jiggy with it.
What about emotional affairs and dishonesty? What about what about that?
And that that thin line? Well, not dishonesty. You shouldn't. Yeah, you shouldn't keep your little white line.
(10:12):
Yeah, you can. You can. That could cause a lot of little hiccups to just keep it above.
If you can keep it above. A lot of things would be copas static.
So let's touch on that a little bit from a psycho psychological.
Oh, my psychological standpoint. So of course, there's that thin line again.
(10:36):
The thin line between love and betrayal. Right. So there is no excuse for cheating and stepping out on your spouse.
But there is also that thin line. Yeah, you can leave them.
But what if you're in a position where you can't actually leave them?
What if you have more than just a dog that you share?
(10:59):
You know, not saying that you shouldn't ultimately be happy and live your your best life possible.
Of course, everyone should be happy in a relationship.
But there is that thin line, those underwritten things that the outside world doesn't know about.
You know what I mean? So it leads to the cheating, that thin line, those that thin line that was crossed, those boundaries that were crossed leads to cheating.
(11:28):
It leads to emotional affairs, which are pretty much.
Oh, it's pretty much a way of cheating emotionally.
You know, you're fond of someone you're confiding in someone male or female sharing with them things that you cannot share with your spouse.
A form of cheating, also, in my opinion.
(11:49):
And then you have the lies, you know, it all coincides with each other.
But there's also. When you get deeper.
So you have the dating phase, right?
Well, you get to know each other, you're going out on nice dates, eating, whatever you decide to do in your dating phase is what you do.
(12:11):
You got your dating phase, right? Then you got the will you be my boyfriend, will you be my girlfriend?
You all have established a relationship, right? You establish a relationship with a person.
So if that relationship keeps going, then you have a proposal.
All right, y'all, y'all are fiance's now.
Then you have marriage.
(12:33):
So as it gets deeper and as more titles are put on there, more permanent titles are put on there, you know that it becomes a very, very, very, very thin line.
You know, when you're in the talking and dating stage and boyfriend, girlfriend phase, then there's a lot of room for betrayal, a lot of room for a lot of room for cheating.
(12:56):
But when you get deep in Beyonce marriage, there is never an excuse to step out on your spouse.
What made you go out and see emotional?
What is that word I'm looking for?
Emotional comfort from another individual.
(13:18):
What's making you have thoughts of cheating or what made you cheat?
You know, what made you lie about where you were or what you were doing or who you you know, whatever that is, you know, it's it's a lot more behind it than just, oh, I don't condone this.
I don't condone that.
Well, if the person wasn't like that when you met them, then what led them to that?
(13:40):
The loves the lies, the loyalty.
You got the love.
Then comes the lies and your question of loyalty or question of why they betrayed you and they went behind your back.
All of this and all alone, it was probably just building up.
(14:01):
Agree.
You could build up.
But I feel like you shouldn't let it build up to the point that it makes you want to do that.
And if you can't talk to your spouse, then why are you with your spouse?
I agree.
Great.
Great.
Communication is important.
I think and I think especially with this topic to prevent yourself from betraying your spouse, whether physically or emotionally, any type of betrayal to prevent yourself from betraying your spouse and betraying their love and trust for you and the relationship.
(14:40):
You have to have a good communication without communication. You have nothing without communication.
You're going to have that cheating emotional affairs and dishonesty and you're going to be betrayed in the end.
But communication, you have to acknowledge the problem.
Both of you have to acknowledge it.
It can't just be one sided.
If I'm acknowledging a problem and you're not acknowledging a problem or you're not talking to me after I address the issue, it's going to go nowhere.
(15:11):
I'm forever talking to myself.
If I come to you and tell you, hey, I'm not happy because of this, that, the third and your only response is, okay, what do you want me to do?
We're never going to come to a resolution that those are that type of neglect that that type of ignorance and not acknowledging what your spouse needs.
(15:37):
It's what leads to these forms of betrayal.
Which still doesn't make it right.
It does not make it right. But you also you can't you can't give 15 percent and expect your spouse to keep giving.
(15:58):
That's true. If they if they keep doing all the work, you're not meeting them halfway.
They give an 80 percent of communication and you give in 20 every time they want to sit down and discuss their.
They're the one talking 90 percent. You're giving 10 even less and less each time.
You know what I mean? Is is is never acceptable.
(16:22):
But you can't ignore the fact that most of these portrayals are caused by things, issues, unresolved issues, poor communication within households.
That's dating boyfriend, girlfriend, marriage proposal, any any stage of a relationship you have with someone.
(16:43):
The trial is just not out of the out of nowhere unless that was their intentions to betray you in the beginning.
You actually love someone. You care about them.
Your world is going to revolve around them. I'm not saying every second, but you're going to want to do whatever you can to make them happy,
whether that's learning how to communicate better, whether that's, you know, getting a second job to make sure that you all have everything you need for the home.
(17:10):
My. Whatever it is, washing the dishes, sleeping in my bed.
You want a laundry, putting gas in the car while she sleeps, whatever it may be, taking the car to get maintenance, whatever it may be to make it easy on your spouse, male or female.
That is what you're going to do if you love them.
(17:33):
Happy spouse, happy house.
Again, there is no excuse, but we're not going to act like actions.
Don't provoke these forms of dishonesty and portrayal.
Yeah, but if I understand, I understand a person going to take so much and was a person that's at their limits, they're at their limits.
(18:02):
But at the same sense, though, if you're going to go out and you're going to do this, you want to go with this person, that person, you might as well just leave.
I agree. I agree. That's easy. I know that's easier said than done. Some people don't put 20 years, 30 years, 40 years into their marriage. Yeah, I know that's easy to say that some people got kids, you know, but.
(18:27):
If you're going to do all that, mama's go ahead and leave that person or, you know, both or both of y'all come to agreements like, all right, baby, it's just not working out at this moment.
How about we separate? Yeah. How about we separate? How about we just go our separate ways for three, three, six months a year?
You feel me? You might need three years. Who knows?
(18:51):
Time heals all. But sometimes that's what you need instead of just acting off of emotions.
I agree. I can't disagree with you on that because most of the time we are not of emotions when you hurt, you know, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people.
(19:15):
And it's so much easier to act up of emotions and get stuck in a situation where you sit there, beat yourself up about it late at night, you know, 10, 10 p.m., 12 a.m., 3 a.m.
But yeah, I mean, I don't disagree with that. I agree with that. I've been on both sides of it. So I can honestly say any anytime I betray someone, it was because they fucking deserved it.
(19:46):
I'm not saying that was the nicer side of me, but I'm just saying like anytime I was betrayed, I probably did not deserve it.
I've been on both sides of the lion, the cheating, the betrayal, the emotional affair. So I can't understand it from both perspectives, but I cannot sit here and say that was OK.
(20:07):
All I can do is say what made me want to do it, which is not excusing the acts. It's not making it right. It's not justifying it.
All I can do is tell you what led me to it and what did or did not stop me. That's all I can do. I'm not going to ever say it was right. I'm not going to ever justify that.
(20:28):
I just I agree with you. Just leave. You know, I'm big on that. Like if it gets too bad, I'm just leave because what's the point in staying and being unhappy?
But so but all said and done. Yeah. Can a relationship truly recover from betrayal? What do you think? I think it now that depends on the individual in itself.
(20:54):
Yeah, because some people, you know, the old saying, forgive and forget.
Shit, easy to say and then listen, I don't know how Jesus did it.
The other cheek, I would have slapped you this. Oh, my God.
(21:16):
Lord, that's it. I'm just keeping the book. It's me, man. It's just me. But in all honesty, I do believe it does depend on the individual if they're going to, you know, stick their relationship fight for it.
Sometimes you do have to fight. Sometimes that shit is not easy. Well, relationships is nice.
(21:41):
We're going to touch on that next. Right. So they need this. I ain't going to go too deep into too much, but it ain't easy. But everybody's different.
Every individual is their own person. And some people takes time. It takes time. You know, they say time heals and time really do heal for you know, for some people.
(22:08):
But sometimes, sometimes it's better to just forgive.
I'm not saying forget. But the first step is that forgiveness stage and sooner or later, a couple years down the line, down the line.
You tend to forget it.
(22:31):
That even happened.
Have you ever had a relationship you recovered from after betrayal?
I cut truth and wrong unfiltered.
No.
(22:53):
Not.
No, not that I could think of off the bat.
Refer up but.
You just like fucking done with it. You betrayed me. That's that's that's that's that line for you. You betrayed me, which I'm done with you.
No warning signs.
No, because I tend to not get myself like, oh, I didn't really tend to get myself in like predicaments like that.
(23:20):
Like when you're emotionally attached.
Yeah. So I will always I will always tell him about like, listen, I look for no relationship.
We could be friends with fuck.
We could do whatever we want to do.
That was shorty for betraying you.
Now, because I was trying to be serious with that little goofy.
(23:41):
I was trying to be serious right now.
I was trying to be serious. I want to be a player.
It was a friendship. I am, you know, that's betrayal. Friendships betrayal. You can't betray your friend, you know.
Yeah, you can't betray a friend. You really can't betray a friend.
You know, that's a topic.
Yeah, that's a topic right there.
(24:02):
Well, you know, I don't kind of go out there.
What was I saying?
You said you haven't really been in a relationship.
Yeah, I never been in a relationship. I kind of just kind of just laid out a foundation what I want and like, and it worked for me.
And it worked.
It don't work. But, you know, so yeah, that's my thought.
(24:29):
For me, I think it depends on the type of relationship.
Um, in the person, you know, who's for you, you know, who playing with you, you don't see the red flag, such and such, you know.
(24:52):
So for me, I definitely think depending on how deep in you are, it's worth a little bit of fight, you know, because sometimes.
We're so in love.
We're so lost in the now that we forget to sit down and get to know one another.
(25:15):
You forget to talk about those flaws you hide and those ugly parts of yourself that you think someone would be ashamed of and that's not worthy of love.
And it really is.
There's someone out there for everyone.
And I think that with communication, depending on the level of the betrayal, you can come back for it now.
(25:40):
It.
It takes forgiving me.
I've been in situations where I just can't forgive. I'd always say, if I can't forgive you, then I'm gonna leave you because there's not there's no need for me to be the bitter black woman that that keeps telling you every other day.
Oh, well, you went to go see that bitch like who you texting that bitch like ain't no need.
(26:03):
And we doing all of that when I can just part ways.
That's when that's my thin line.
If I sit back for a couple hours, a couple of days, and that's just a constant thought.
I can never get over it.
Then I'm gonna have to get over you.
But if I prayed about it, I've been hurt and allow myself to feel and cried and all that.
(26:24):
And I'm like, you know what, God, I can forgive this person.
I can see me forgiving them.
It's gonna take a little bit longer, but I can see me forgiving them to the point where I don't have to mention it every time we argue.
You know, then, yes, but that's when you really, really love someone.
That's another thing. Yeah.
Don't hold that shit against your spouse.
(26:46):
For ever.
Agreed, agreed, agreed.
If you're gonna hold it against them, then you what? Need to leave them.
Nah, for real, because you can't.
That's not love. That's not compromise. That's not communication.
And that is not recovery.
And you can't use that against your spouse all the time.
Like that shouldn't be the fuel to your arguments.
(27:09):
Like, nigga, fuck you.
How many times you done cheated on me?
But you mad that I suck. Why nigga then?
I've been lied to.
But you know, that ain't something that you should do.
You shouldn't use that against your spouse all the time.
That's not love.
You really, I think now I've been through a lot.
I'm gonna tell y'all the story in a minute, but we both had our share of things.
(27:34):
I'm 31 now. Oh, God.
Oh, saying it out loud. I'm 31 now.
And I've been through my share of fuck friends, relationships, cheating, side, side piece, all types of stuff.
Like, I've been through my share of relationships and dealing with individuals and dealing with people and getting to know people.
(28:00):
And I've been betrayed. I have betrayed.
And I can tell you, out of most of them, I probably never loved them.
I just thought I did because of where I was at in life.
And now where I am now, I'm able to think more clearly.
I'm able to realize the importance and communicate.
(28:22):
And I'm able to acknowledge my flaws and let those be known.
And I'm not scared of therapy.
You know, I'm not saying you need therapy in your relationship.
But if you don't went through some shit in your childhood or adulthood, get help.
Get help. Because if you don't, that can interfere with the growth of your relationship.
(28:46):
That can really interfere if you don't get help early on to help your relationship.
Those problems are just going to spill within it.
So, I mean, it took me a while to get where I am in the person I am now.
I'm able to recover because I know who I really love.
(29:07):
And this was before marriage. I had to love myself first.
I had to realize that I didn't need someone.
And then when I started being okay being alone, then I started to find a new self-loving myself.
I found comfort in being alone.
I always crave another individual, but I found comfort in being alone.
(29:30):
I was fine not having sex all the time.
I was fine not giving myself to random individuals that I met in a club.
I was fine with not going to the club all the time.
So, those are things I had to work on within myself in order to become the wife I am today.
Because had I still been that party girl that was in a club doing all kinds of shit,
then I probably wouldn't be a wife right now or where I am as far as career-wise or things I'm doing in my life, my aspirations and dreams.
(30:00):
And you have to change.
You have to change for the better of your relationship because a relationship grows over time.
Over time. So, if you're betraying them in the beginning, you're going to still betray them.
In my experience, let me tell you all a story, right?
(30:21):
This is one I could never recover from.
Now, I lied to them and told them I could, but I never could. And not just me.
It's just a couple of them I could never recover from. So, this specific time, right, this is betrayal if I ever say so.
And when I tell you I ain't lying, the people who was around during that time know I'm not lying.
(30:42):
So, I had a guy I was talking to, right?
Granted, I stopped talking to him to talk to a dude I had started dating, but that didn't last long. It was three months.
They was alleged. That's it. That's all.
So, we were talking. Talking ended up going to dating.
So, you know, I would go see them.
And me, I like to show you how much I care about you with romantic gestures.
(31:09):
Like, you hungry? Let me get you something to eat. Let me bring you some food.
Like, it's your birthday? Okay. What you want to do? I'm bringing you gifts.
Just because things, you know, because that's the type of person I am. I'm just a romantic individual.
I like to show my acts of love with gifts and different acts, things that you just won't forget.
(31:31):
Let's go on a little weekend trip. You know what I mean? Making memories. That's something I like to do.
So, you know, I'm talking about I'd, we'd go out. He'd pay at times.
You know, he was hungry, needed something. Like, you know, I'm sending him money. I'm getting him something to eat.
You know, I'm thinking, like, we own this song, right? You know, we dating.
(31:53):
So, like, this specific day, like, I can't, I can't remember this shit like it was yesterday.
Like, leading up to it, he was acting real weird, right? And granted, we're dating.
And he gave me a promise ring.
And I always said, like, I ain't one of them promise ring type of bitches, like, ever.
(32:17):
Like, when my now husband gave me a promise ring, that's the only man I allowed to give me a promise ring after that.
Because that shit fucked me up so good. That shit fucked me up so bad.
I'm him.
Mr. I'm him. But before him, I had somebody try and give me one.
I said, no, I'm not taking that. You might want to give me a necklace or something.
I'm like, because to me, a promise ring in a relationship is like the step before proposing.
(32:48):
Like, I'm claiming you as mine. I want you to know that I'm serious.
This is what it means to me. I don't know what I mean to y'all, but this is what I mean to me.
Any ring that's on my ring finger that I ain't put there is a claim.
Like, I'm serious about you. And I want to take this further.
Like, I'm talking about this man got on and I'm talking about this shit hurts.
(33:10):
Like, it hurts. I had to really dig deep and find myself after that.
This man really got... I told him, like, if you're going to give me any type of ring, you better have a speech to go along with it.
Like, don't just come bring me no ring, there's no birthday gift or some shit.
You better really have a speech to go along with it.
(33:32):
Like, I ain't playing like that. You want to get serious, you show me you serious, right?
That's just the type of person I am because time... my time is valuable and life is short.
So, he presents the ring to me and I'm coming out of the bathroom.
He's on one knee. He presents the ring, says a speech.
All of this, I can't remember what it was, y'all. I done probably teared up a little bit.
(33:55):
I'm a little crybaby. Except the promise ring, right?
Here I am in the club showing off my ring and yeah, look, he got me my ring. Look, look, look at my ring.
Just a goddamn fool. And all the motherfuckers around me was dumb as hell, too.
Just let me believe that motherfucker was just mine.
So, boom, let's fast forward to this night, the week leading up to it, right?
(34:16):
So, this man done told me all types of lies. I'm in the hospital. Oh, I ain't at work.
Granted, I used to always go to his job at the time to drink. I loved it. I loved the lounge.
I love going there to relax.
So, this particular day, I had talked to him the night before.
(34:39):
It was leading up to the next morning, like 1 a.m., 2 a.m.
Talked to him. Then the next day came and I ain't hear nothing.
So, I'm like, what the hell going on? You know, the nigga is saying I'm punctured as fuck and long.
Y'all lied on. Thought something happened. You know what I mean?
(35:00):
Like, I really thought something happened. So, I didn't know what was going on.
Like, I was house sitting at the time, so I done got damn drove to the club.
Like, let me see if he had work or whatever. Like, I don't know what may be going on.
No, he ain't there. Like, nobody know yet.
So, I just got this feeling like, ugh, something just ain't right.
(35:21):
Like, something is not right about the situation.
Like, I'm talking about blood boiling, boiling, boiling, boiling.
So, you know what I mean? Investigator.
Granted, we both had iPhones, so the messages was going great. They went and going through.
So, I'm on Facebook like, nigga, you got me fucked. Let me find out what I can find out.
And see, I'm a fucker. I always slip up.
(35:43):
This motherfucker done went and got married.
At the fucking courthouse, right?
Blocked me on social media. Blocked my number, right?
So, he didn't know I knew none of this until he called me the next day, right?
So, it's like 3 a.m., right?
And midnight exchange, nocturnal ideas up at 3 a.m., y'all.
(36:06):
On my phone, on Facebook, like I'm going to find something.
And I did. I found the goddamn pictures.
The photographer tagged them in at the courthouse, y'all.
And when I tell you, I saw red.
Oh, I saw red. Now, that is betrayal, y'all.
Like, you hear about that shit in movies and books, but that real life happened to me.
(36:29):
And when I tell y'all I ain't know nothing, I swear to God I ain't know nothing.
And everybody around us knew I didn't know nothing.
They knew and I didn't know. And I never felt bad for that.
I never was mad at them about that. It's just like, damn, like, you could have said something.
But it is what it is. Like, you know, that's then, this is now.
(36:51):
So, you know, the next day, the motherfucker want to come trying to call me, right?
Granted, y'all, I'm seeing red.
I done been at his mama house, I already know how to get there.
And I was like, I'm going to go fuck some shit up. Y'all had to call my daddy.
I had to call my daddy to calm me down.
I told my daddy what happened. I said, daddy, I seen red. I just can't think.
(37:15):
I ain't thinking nothing good, no good thoughts at all.
Like, I'm going to fuck some shit up and I give a fuck about it.
And my daddy called me down.
Daddy called me down and helped me think really, really thick.
And I cried. Y'all, I was hurt. I was really, really hurt.
I cried. I got my shit together.
(37:37):
Took me about a day or two and I just left it at that.
And you try to call me and make excuses and try to explain.
Like, how can you explain yourself now? I know everything now.
Like, even after that situation, like, you try to say it was just a marriage that was, like, staged.
Married. They got married just for the benefits of it.
(38:00):
But that was a fucking lie, too. So for me, it's like lie after lie.
Then on top of that, y'all, this man sent me fake divorce papers.
I can't make this shit up, y'all. I swear to God, I put this on everything I love.
I can't make this up. I got proved to.
Just in case they try and lie about it, I still got proof because I don't believe nothing.
(38:22):
Fake divorce papers. Like, you don't want me that bad.
You just want me for what I can give you.
And that was an ultimate betrayal for me.
Like, you betrayed my trust. You betrayed my love for you.
You betrayed how loyal I was to you.
Like, there was no loyalty given back.
(38:43):
You was lying to me. You didn't even have to lie to me.
You know what I mean? And then you sit here and you make a commitment to me.
And then you go and get married behind my back and say, oh, well, we did it for the kids in case I die.
Nigger still living.
That, in my case, is that ultimate betrayal.
That's that thin line. And this is just on a dating scale.
(39:07):
I can only imagine marriage.
You know, that's that's my one story of the time a motherfucker really betrayed the fuck out of me.
And I almost had to crash out.
Do you hear me? I'm talking about I was so angry.
And this goes back to what I said. If you can't let it go, let them go.
I could not let it go, y'all. I couldn't let it go.
(39:31):
Every time I seen them, I seen red.
You want to take me out on a date to apologize? OK, I'm only going because you paying.
That's it. I'm only going because you're paying.
You don't got no more access to me. You want to apologize?
I won't answer this, but I got drunk one night.
I'm not going to go into depth. I don't want to.
What they say? What's that word? Fifth Amendment.
(39:55):
Third Amendment. Self-incriminate.
Fifth Amendment. Whatever.
So I was drinking one night, y'all, and I was mad as fuck.
Mad as fuck. Like, I can't believe this motherfucker just played in my goddamn face.
This nigga must think I'm a fuck ass nigga. Like, the fuck is wrong with his ass.
But I saw red. I'm like, hey, where you at?
(40:17):
I'm coming over to pull up on this motherfucker.
And I, y'all, when I say I saw red, like, I ain't even going to fuck about my future.
I was ready to go to Mexico. We're going to just leave it at that.
But I'm saying, like, that was a betrayal. I just could not allow myself to get over.
And in cases like that, that's where that thin line is crossed.
(40:41):
Like, people can do so much hurt to you, and then they sit there and say, oh, I love you.
No, you love what I can do for you. You love the idea of me.
You love having me around. You don't really love me.
If you loved me, you wouldn't have done that too.
Facts.
But now, so thank y'all for tuning in on tonight's episode.
(41:05):
We appreciate y'all. We love y'all. You know.
We're going to we're going to go ahead and wrap this up with our midnight thought of the day for the thin line between love and betrayal.
We're going to see y'all for the next episode.
Midnight thought of the day. If you truly love someone, what is the point of betrayal?
(41:27):
We're going to let that sit on your hearts and y'all's minds.
And y'all can either drop your thoughts on our anonymous section or y'all can either put your thoughts
under one of our posts.
We don't know how you want to get it to us.
You don't have to get it to us at all.
You just let that sit on your mind for a little bit.
OK, give you a little food for thought as a midnight thought of the day.
(41:50):
We're going to see you next time.
Have a great night.
Yeah. And on that note.
(42:23):
Thank you.
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