November 17, 2025 • 36 mins
Lets explore how rest, boundaries, and parenthood reshape what it means to be a giver. We share permission slips to pause without guilt and frame healthy withdrawal as wisdom, not neglect.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (01:57):
Grace and peace.
One and all, Grace and Peace.
Welcome to another rendition ofthe Moral Compass Chronicles.
I am your man.
I'm your brother, Eyon Jay,Eyon Johnson.
You can find me everywhere.
And I am glad to be with youguys yet again.
Um, going through some majortransitions in my life, as most
(02:23):
of you know, and I thought itwould be a very good idea for us
to talk about the importance ofresting every now and then.
Can we talk about it?
Um, I, as many of you know, Iam a new father, and I am in a
(02:51):
very interesting time in mylife.
For those of you who know mewell, you know that I'm a giver.
I am a giver of epicproportions.
I it is that giving is what isin my heart, all right?
I love to help people.
(03:13):
I give my time, I give myefforts, I give my talents even
to those who may not necessarilydeserve it.
Um, I give of myself, and I'mnot sure who can relate to that,
(03:33):
but if you can, then you knowhow exhausting it can be, how
draining it can become for us asindividuals.
Now, I think it's important forus to dissect this properly.
(03:54):
I come on this podcast often,and yes, we're diving right in.
I come on this podcast, mypodcast, our podcast, often, and
I talk about how important itis for us to be there for one
another, for us to love oneanother, for us to communicate
effectively uh with one another,how important it is.
(04:18):
And I thought it would be avery good idea for us to dive
into the other side of it,right?
Because if you are somebody whoconstantly loves, if you are
somebody who constantly gives,if you're someone who is
constantly there for otherpeople, what about you?
What about what about whatabout you?
(04:39):
Somebody is asking, yo, whatabout me?
Why why is it always abouteveryone else and not me and my
family?
Well, I'm here to encourage youtoday that you're allowed a few
permission slips.
Can we can we talk aboutpermission slips today?
(05:00):
This is a nice little segmentthat I have kind of cooked up,
curated, uh, with the help ofthe Lord who has given me a good
direction to go into.
I I want to talk about somepermission slips, right?
And what do I mean by that?
I thought it would be kind offunny to just kind of go up go
about it this way.
(05:21):
Yo, anybody need a permissionslip to just take a nap every
now and again?
Yo, for my new parents, newfathers, new mothers, permission
to take a nap every now andagain simply because we need it,
(05:42):
bro.
I don't know who needs a napright now, but this is your
sign.
Uh somebody once somebody toldme that they were listening to
the podcast the other day.
They took a nap, beingencouraged by the podcast, woke
up, and then started playing thepodcast again.
That's what we're here for.
Okay?
(06:02):
Let your hair down, get someenlightenment, get some
encouragement, recharge yourselfso that you can get up and do
what it is you need to do after.
Now, we're not talking aboutslumbering, we're not talking
about procrastinating here,okay?
(06:22):
Because there are many of usthat have a tendency now to take
too many naps, and weprocrastinate a little bit too
much, and we slumber a littlebit too much, and we sleep a
little bit too much when weought to be up and we ought to
be working, and we ought to bedoing, we ought to be creating,
(06:43):
and we're slumbering.
That's not who I'm talking to.
I'm talking to the person whois a month into your parenthood
journey.
Take a nap.
Take a nap.
It's so funny.
I I mentioned how I'm somebodywho gives and gives and gives,
right?
I've even now I'm I'm givingprofessionally.
(07:05):
Pause.
Right?
You know, I I've created thisbusiness, and you'll hear more
about it.
A lot of people are familiarwith it already.
And yo, it's predicated ongiving, it's predicated on
helping.
That's the whole business modelis doing for others, helping
(07:29):
others communicate their issuesand where they're not seeing eye
to eye.
That that's what the wholething is, and again, you'll hear
more about that.
Um, and I find I'm a new I'm anew father, as you know, right?
(07:50):
I find that as someone I have Ihave become this person who is
just there, who just makeshimself available for everyone
and to everyone, right?
(08:11):
So much so that if I am, forexample, I have been taking care
of my daughter and and my wife,and we've been doing it
together, the three of us as afamily, and you know, shout out
to the village who comes in andyou know helps and and does what
(08:32):
they need to do to assist us.
But at times, I have foundmyself feeling guilty for not
being there for everyone the wayI was before the baby.
That's the truth, and and youknow what I'm talking about.
(08:55):
I have found myself feelingguilty and bothered by the fact
that yo, I'm not calling thesepeople as much as I was before.
I'm not checking in on myvillage the way I was doing
before.
You know, I'm not listening tothe cries the way I was before
(09:18):
and the problems the way I wasbefore.
There are listen, I I there aretimes my phone will ring and I
don't even answer it anymorebecause you know what?
I've had to create boundaries,and I have felt bad about that.
But I thank God that He isgiving me the wisdom that I need
(09:39):
and instructing me in the way Iought to go during this season
of my life.
The Bible says in Ecclesiastesthat to this is one of my
favorite scriptures, toeverything, to everything, there
is a season, and there is atime and a purpose to everything
under the heavens.
It goes on to say there's atime to do this and a time to do
(10:01):
that.
There's a time for this and atime for that, a time for this,
a time, there's a time to beawake, there's a time to nap.
There's a time to be there forthe masses, there's a time to be
there with your family.
Ooh, hold on now.
How many people, how manyfamilies have we seen?
We, a lot of us come from abroken family.
(10:22):
What is it a result of,oftentimes?
Daddy not being there, choosingto work more so than not, mom
being forced to raise thechildren by herself.
We've seen this thing sort ofsystemically throughout history,
throughout our own history.
We we a lot of us come from thechurch.
(10:45):
I I was on record talking aboutthis recently.
How many, how many pastors andleaders have we seen get it
wrong because they have chosento put the ministry completely
ahead of their family?
Listen, I ain't come to get introuble.
All right.
(11:05):
I'm just saying, to everything,there is a season.
There is a time Jesus had towithdraw himself from the
masses.
Jesus had to separate himselfto go pray.
He had to step away from thecrowd, even when the crowd was
(11:26):
clamoring more for him.
My wife and I, we we watchedthe show The Chosen.
We love the show, right?
A lot of us know about it.
We're continuing the fifthseason of the show right now,
and and at a time of ofheightened emotion, in a time
where Jesus had to overturn thetables and had to address the
(11:48):
Pharisees and had to address thecrowd, parable after parable,
had to explain himself andexplain the kingdom of God that
was to come and that was infront of them.
Even then, in the midst ofthat, at the height of it, there
(12:09):
came a time where Jesus had toretreat, he had to draw himself
away.
It's important, it's importantthat we understand that, right?
Uh permission slips, right?
Permission slips.
Permission to not text back.
(12:31):
Permission to not text backright away.
Permission to not text backtoday.
Permission to not return aphone call, like because I'm
simply not ready to return yourcall right now.
Now, listen, I I don't know.
I you know you if you couldn'ttell, I kind of I operate a
(12:54):
little bit in a different way.
Um and so all of this is likeunder the premise that we're
keeping it a hundred across theboard, right?
We're operating under thepremise that we're keeping it a
hundred across the board.
If I am constantly andconsistently someone who is not
texting back my loved ones, youknow, your girl is waiting how
(13:16):
long for you to respond, you'renot returning phone calls to
people, you avoid confrontation.
I'm not talking to you.
Respectfully.
I'm not talking to you.
You're not a good communicator,you know what I'm saying?
You don't know how to resolveconflict.
I'm not talking to you.
You need to get it together.
(13:38):
This conversation is not foryou.
This conversation is for theperson who is constantly
responding, constantly showingup, constantly there for others.
Yo, listen.
Respectfully, I have writtenmyself a permission slip to not
(14:00):
text back right away, right now.
At this point in my life, Ihave written myself a permission
slip to not respond to yourphone call.
If I am not able to and notready to right now.
I'm sorry.
In advance, yo, this is whereI'm at in my life right now.
(14:24):
I don't know if anybody canrelate.
I don't know if anybody canrelate.
But I found myself feelingguilty about it, right?
And I and I and I'm watchingfrom afar and I'm seeing, number
one, and it's so funny.
My shout out to my brother, mybrother Andrew Sill.
Um, a lot of us know himaffectionately as Brandon.
(14:46):
Um, we spent some good timetogether this past weekend.
I went up to Pennsylvania oracross to Pennsylvania, however
you want to say it.
And um you guys are gonna behearing from him and seeing him
soon on his podcast, by the way.
But he has been telling mefrom, I mean, when I before I
got married, how much more,because he's a married man.
He's my I call him my littlebigger brother because he he's
(15:10):
he he was he's younger than me,several years younger than me,
but got married before me, hadchildren before me, straight up
became a man before me.
Let's call it what it is,right?
So, you know, learning how tosupport and and and grow a
family and raise a family,right?
He has been telling me from thejump how much I'm gonna learn
about myself through thisprocess.
(15:33):
And I have had to write myselfa permission slip for to excuse
myself because of how bad I havefelt for not being there in a
(15:53):
way where I was always there foreverybody.
That that is and I'm not theonly person who goes through
that.
I'm not the only person whogoes through that.
You the it's and I and I Iwrote this down the fear of
(16:17):
disappointing.
I I hate to disappoint people.
I hate to disappoint people.
Maybe that's something I gottawork on.
I hate not being there forpeople.
I believe that's why God hasgiven God didn't give me this
podcast, this business, and thennow all of a sudden I became
(16:40):
this person.
I know I was this personalready, and because I am this
person, then now God was like,yo, this is your assignment.
This is part of your assignmentright here.
Feeling like a bad friend.
I hate even just the the ideaof being a bad friend, being a
(17:04):
bad brother.
Bro, I got a I probably got anessay of a text message from a
sister of mine.
This morning, I woke up to it,was reading it, it almost broke,
it started bringing me totears, and I all now I haven't
finished reading the message.
(17:25):
And I shout out to my sister,Sav.
Shout out to shout out to you,sis.
I I want because you're gonnahear this, right?
You're gonna hear this becauseyou're someone who constantly
supports what I'm doing, right?
So you're gonna hear this.
As you hear this, now Iprobably am gonna finish reading
it and respond by then, but Ijust want you to know that this
is a part of that.
(17:45):
I have not responded to thatmessage for several reasons.
One, I didn't finish it becauseI started crying and had to
stop for a second.
Right?
But two, I wasn't ready tofinish reading it because boom,
immediately I had to get up andand feed my daughter.
Wife was like, yo, listen, Igotta go to the bathroom real
(18:10):
quick.
So boom, now I'm doing it,right?
And then boom, now now we backand forth, and I gotta run out
and do this.
Now I'm here, I gotta do thisright here and get this done.
I haven't gotten back to thatyet.
I'm writing myself a permissionslip.
And that's a little different.
That's that's a littledifferent of a situation.
But my point is, these thingsare going to come up.
(18:32):
And maybe in the past, I wouldfeel like a bad friend or bad
brother that I got thisheartfelt message and have not
responded.
Funny enough, she's one of thepeople who has encouraged me.
She's one of the people who haswho knows how much I give to
everyone, right?
She's one of those people.
She's one of the people who,yo, sis, you are one of the
(18:55):
people who helped me with thisparticular chronicle.
I have come to theunderstanding that it is okay.
It is okay to take a step back.
I don't know who I'm talkingto.
I don't know who I'm talkingto.
(19:16):
I don't know who needs to hearthis.
But this is your sign to writeyourself a permission slip.
And watch this now.
Watch this, watch this.
I mentioned how she's one ofthe people who have encouraged
me to not feel bad.
You're gonna have people,you're gonna have people who
want to make you feel bad.
(19:37):
That you're going through acertain time in your life and
you aren't showing up for themthe way they would like you to.
Oh, hold it now.
I'm about to upset, I'm aboutto upset the devil in somebody.
There are people who are gonnatry to make you feel bad.
Yo, you used to call me all thetime, and now you don't call me
(20:03):
no more.
Yo, I could have sworn thatphone worked both ways.
You used to text me all thetime, you used to go out with us
all the time, and now you don'tgo out with us no more, and it
automatically there must be aproblem, right?
We must have beef now, becauseI don't come out all the time no
more.
Watch out for those people.
(20:23):
Those are people you gotta yougotta watch out for, you gotta
keep a close eye on them.
Them people who gonna uh makeyou feel guilty for not being
around, they don't even some ofthem don't even know what's
going on in your life for real.
And they're gonna try to makeyou feel guilty for not being
around the way you used to.
And instead of checking on you,you're usually the one that
(20:46):
checks on them, right?
You're usually the one thatshows up for them.
And instead of showing up foryou, they don't hear from you
for a little bit.
Instead of showing up for youand returning a favor and
reciprocating that energy, theyturn that into a problem with
(21:06):
you now.
Watch them.
Low-key matter of fact, youdon't I say, yo, I always say
let people do what they want todo, and then they'll show you
what they want to do, they'llshow you what they rather do.
People are gonna show you whothey are.
And when people show you whothey are, my pastor told me this
one time.
Yo, when if if somebody isproducing apples, don't listen,
(21:29):
don't expect oranges from them.
Not to say people can't change.
The people point the the themoral of that message is people
will show you who they are.
And when people show you whothey are, believe them.
Believe them.
So now again, I was talkingabout how this conversation is
(21:50):
not for certain people.
When people show you that theydo not love others, you know you
you know what time it is.
When people show you that theydon't know how to handle
conflict, they don't know how toresolve issues, when people
show you that they are thecommon denominator, oh, oh, I
don't know where I'm going withthis.
(22:10):
When people show you thatthey're the common denominator
in problem after problem, youyou meet somebody, bro.
Listen, if you meet somebody,oh Lord, I'm all here.
I'm talking to the devil rightnow.
I'm talking to you right now,under my feet, right?
You notice that certain peoplecan't get along with anybody,
(22:31):
hold it now.
You know there's a problem.
Everybody can't be wrong.
Oh Lord, I don't know.
I don't know what I don't knowwhat happened there.
Everybody can be wrong.
That's a little sidebar.
But the expectation toconstantly make yourself
available to the world and tothe masses, no, sorry.
(22:53):
I and I don't feel bad anymore.
Listen, you you I I I said thisbefore, I posted it on
Instagram and I mentioned how Iposted this on Instagram.
You ever meet people who justyou you after a while you
recognize yo, these peopleactually love their problems.
I've been trying to help youwith your problem for so long,
and it seems like you actuallyenjoy your problems.
(23:14):
You enjoy these problems thatyou keep creating like to the
point where you keep creatingthem for yourself.
I'm gonna believe you after awhile.
And furthermore, yo, this is apublic service announcement, and
some people have heard thisdirectly, some people have
legitimately heard thisdirectly.
I I don't want to, I'm notwasting my time.
(23:36):
I'm not gonna waste my time.
Here's the thing you willalways get love for me, and I
will always be there for you,but there is a level at which
you will be able to receive whatGod has placed in me.
There's a certain point whereafter a certain time, the list
(24:03):
of people who will be able toreach me in a specific at a
specific time of day, it getssmaller now.
It has gotten smaller.
It's gotten smaller.
That list has gotten smaller asthe time dwindles now.
Right right now is 445.
The list I would say is prettybroad.
If you call me right now, youwill probably reach me,
(24:26):
depending on who you are,because typically I'll know what
you want, and I will eitheranswer or I'll return your phone
call.
Listen, I'm sorry, this iswhere I'm at in my life now.
I do not have time to waste.
Bro, I have a business I'mtrying to grow.
(24:47):
I have work that the Lord hasfor me to do.
Funny enough, it goes hand inhand to some degree.
I have a family that needs meto show up for them.
I have a wife, I have a child.
There will be another onecoming at some point, I don't
know when.
A lot of times I don't see it,but there are times where I see
(25:21):
the phone call, I see the phoneringing, and I legitimately say,
yo, I can't do it.
I'm sorry.
If you had called me earlier inthe day, maybe, but at right
now, I can't do it.
What you are about to bring tomy table and to my doorstep, I
don't want it at my door rightnow.
Yo, I listen.
(25:45):
Y'all want me to be honest,right?
Yo, there are some.
Can I can I talk to you?
Can I talk to somebody?
Yo, there are certain timeswhere you know what people are
about to bring to your doorstep,and you have to make the
decision.
Yo, I do not want this at mydoor right now.
(26:06):
I do not want this on my phoneright now.
I don't want to hear aboutthis, I don't want to talk about
it.
Whatever it is, I know who youare, and I know what you're
about to bring to my doorstep.
I want no part of it at thistime.
I can't do it.
I got things to do.
(26:28):
I'm at work.
I'm resting.
I have withdrawn from themasses at this time.
And yes, if it was my sisterwho was reaching out to me, I
could take that call.
If it was one of my brothers, aspecific one, all right.
(26:49):
My mom needs to read.
Even sometimes, if my mom'scalling, I'm gonna I'm gonna
make sure you're okay.
Sometimes some of my brothersand my sisters call me and I
make sure they're okay.
You know who I got that from?
My big brother Kareem.
There were several times in thepast we were younger, he's in
the middle of something, but hewould answer the phone anyway.
His his the first thing out ofhis mouth would be, yo, are you
(27:10):
all good?
Are you okay?
And I'm like, Yeah, I'm good.
I just had a few questionsabout something, or I needed
this.
He'd be like, yo, I'll hit youback.
That's where I'm at.
Yo, are you okay?
Are you safe?
Oh, you're okay?
Everything is safe?
That means this can wait.
Respectfully, of course.
(27:30):
It can wait.
I yo, it can wait.
Write yourself a permissionslip to tell people it can wait.
Can we do this tomorrow?
Can we pick this up tomorrow?
(27:51):
At this particular time, Ican't deal with this.
But tomorrow, yo, let's let'slet's schedule a call for
tomorrow.
Let's let's I'll reach out toyou tomorrow.
And and and we'll talk aboutthis.
I still love you, but I'm goingthrough something right now,
(28:14):
and I am I cannot deal with thisat the moment.
I can't talk to you right now.
Yo, your life is allowed tochange to everything there is a
season.
Almost every I want you to knowsomething.
Almost everything I say, morethan likely, is coming from
(28:39):
scripture.
That's where I'm at in my life.
I don't like to be wrong.
And if I'm following the wordof God, it like understand this.
If I am following the word ofGod, it is not possible for me
to be wrong about something.
If I am saying something thatthe word of God has said, if the
(29:04):
Lord has spoken it, it isright.
If I repeat what the Lord hasspoken, I cannot be wrong.
That is how I have modeled mylife.
Now, I get it wrong all thetime.
I I'm not because it's notpossible for me to follow
(29:27):
everything that the word of Godsays because I'm human.
My human nature will not allowfor it.
I was born in sin and shaped ininiquity.
That's why I needed Jesus to dowhat he did for me.
Because I couldn't do it formyself.
(29:48):
I will never get it rightcompletely for myself.
But I'm telling you right now,when it comes to giving advice,
having conversations, pleasebelieve that the word of God is
bleeding from me.
No pun intended.
He bled for me, and now hisword is gonna bleed through me.
Jesus bled for me, and now theword that he has spoken over my
(30:17):
life is gonna bleed through me.
To everything.
There is a season and there isa time to everything.
There's a time and a purpose toeverything under the heavens.
There's a time to be there foreveryone, and there's a time to
withdraw yourself.
Your life is allowed to change.
(30:45):
Your pace is allowed to slowwhen it needs to.
Your friendships are allowed toshift.
You're not you're not failingat being a good friend.
You're not failing at being theperson that's there for
everyone.
(31:05):
Yo, I just had a baby.
You will not hear from me theway you were hearing from me
before, because you simplycannot.
All that energy is going to mydaughter now.
I'm not failing, I'm adjusting.
So I have I have released theguilt that I felt initially.
(31:27):
Because the truth is this isturning me to into an even
better version of myself, to thepoint where I'll be, I'll even
know how to deal with peoplebetter because of this time of
my life.
I will have more patience forfor some people who need more
(31:51):
patience.
The way I need more patience.
I need people to have patiencewith me.
And so even having this child.
Specifically, a daughter isgiving me patience.
Having a daughter is giving memore patience to even learn how
to deal with my wife.
They're both women.
Can we talk about it?
Fellas, we need patience todeal with women, fellas.
(32:14):
And if I had a son, I wouldn'tbe learning patience the way I'm
learning it now.
Because it'd be different.
Yes, there's still babies, andbabies require a certain level
of patience.
But I'm telling you right now,my daughter is making it clear
to me that she's a woman.
So write yourself a permissionslip.
(32:39):
Write yourself a permissionslip to adjust as needed.
I really pray that this hasblessed somebody.
I don't know who you are, and Idon't know who needed to hear
this, but you know, I'm gladthat we were able to have this
conversation.
But and and and I'll be here,I'll be here for you.
(33:02):
And listen, if you if you'rehearing this and you're somebody
who, you know, you know youcome to me and stuff, don't
stop.
I'm here.
I'm here.
I just gotta do things a littledifferently now.
That's all.
I gotta do things a little bitdifferently.
I gotta j adjust a little bit.
You know what I'm saying?
So I can make uh make sure thatpeople are getting the best
(33:23):
from me.
That's the truth.
That's really, that's reallywhere this, that's where this
comes from.
It's not like, yo, no, I don'thave time for you no more
because I gotta put my time.
No, no, no, no, no.
I recognize, yo, I I'm notcapable of giving my all
everywhere all the time toeverything.
I'm just not capable of it.
I'm not.
I'm sorry.
I'm not.
(33:44):
I have to learn to adjust.
And if that I recognize I'm sogood with my phone, right?
I've always been so good atreaching out to people and
taking note mentally.
Like I like without having towrite things down, I know who I
have to call back, and I'mgetting back to everybody.
I'm responding to textmessages, all of that.
(34:05):
Bro, I swear they they talkabout the baby brain for the
mothers.
I swear that baby brain hit metoo, man.
I swear it hit me too.
Because like the amount oftimes I have forgotten to
respond, forgotten to call back,and I used to be able to just
do it like that.
I'm like, yeah, no, I gottachange how I do things now.
(34:27):
I start typing a message, thebaby will start crying, I gotta
deal with it.
That message I get is sent, andI'll completely forget about
it.
Like, that's how it'd be.
I could be completelyforgetting, bro.
So you gotta adjust, you gottalearn how to adjust.
I don't know who I'm talkingto, but learn how to adjust as
(34:51):
needed.
And pray.
Pray and ask God for thebalance that you need.
Lord, I need to be able tobalance being there for my
village and taking care of thethings I need to take care of
while not completely depletingmyself of everything that's
within me.
(35:11):
They say you can't pour from anempty cup.
That's what they say.
All right.
Me personally, I realize thatthat pouring from an empty cup
is what refills my cup.
Personally.
At least that's what I thoughtat one point.
(35:33):
And I think to some degree itstill does refill my cup.
The thing is, I just don't havethe energy to do it all the
time.
You know what I'm saying?
I just don't, I don't, I don't,I'm human.
You know, like you know whatI'm saying?
Like, I still get recharged andrefilled when I'm when I'm
(35:56):
encouraging someone.
You know what I'm saying?
That's that that doesn'tchange.
It's that I just literallycan't do that at one in the
morning anymore.
I got a child now.
Like, what are we talkingabout?
I can't I'm yeah, I just can'tdo it at one in the morning
anymore.
Like I'm saying, I can't, Ican't, I can't encourage you and
talk to you about your problemsat two in the morning anymore.
(36:17):
You know what I'm saying?
Because I have a baby that'sgonna wake up if I do that.
And I'm not about to wake thewe just put this child down.
I'm not about to wake the babyup because I'm in here talking
that talk, helping you changeyour life when I can do that for
you tomorrow morning at at 8a.m., 9 a.m.
You know what I'm saying?
Let's reconvene then.
Let's reconvene then, bro.
(36:38):
Yo, I love you guys.
I love you.
I appreciate you, man.
If you are here, you know whoyou are.
You're always here, and I loveyou for it, and I appreciate you
for it.
This is the Moral CompassChronicles.
Until next time, you be safe,man, and I love you.
Grace and peace.
One and all, Grace and Peace.
Welcome to another rendition ofthe Moral Compass Chronicles.
I am your man.
I'm your brother, Eyon Jay,Eyon Johnson.
You can find me everywhere.
And I am glad to be with youguys yet again.
Um, going through some majortransitions in my life, as most
(02:23):
of you know, and I thought itwould be a very good idea for us
to talk about the importance ofresting every now and then.
Can we talk about it?
Um, I, as many of you know, Iam a new father, and I am in a
(02:51):
very interesting time in mylife.
For those of you who know mewell, you know that I'm a giver.
I am a giver of epicproportions.
I it is that giving is what isin my heart, all right?
I love to help people.
(03:13):
I give my time, I give myefforts, I give my talents even
to those who may not necessarilydeserve it.
Um, I give of myself, and I'mnot sure who can relate to that,
(03:33):
but if you can, then you knowhow exhausting it can be, how
draining it can become for us asindividuals.
Now, I think it's important forus to dissect this properly.
(03:54):
I come on this podcast often,and yes, we're diving right in.
I come on this podcast, mypodcast, our podcast, often, and
I talk about how important itis for us to be there for one
another, for us to love oneanother, for us to communicate
effectively uh with one another,how important it is.
(04:18):
And I thought it would be avery good idea for us to dive
into the other side of it,right?
Because if you are somebody whoconstantly loves, if you are
somebody who constantly gives,if you're someone who is
constantly there for otherpeople, what about you?
What about what about whatabout you?
(04:39):
Somebody is asking, yo, whatabout me?
Why why is it always abouteveryone else and not me and my
family?
Well, I'm here to encourage youtoday that you're allowed a few
permission slips.
Can we can we talk aboutpermission slips today?
(05:00):
This is a nice little segmentthat I have kind of cooked up,
curated, uh, with the help ofthe Lord who has given me a good
direction to go into.
I I want to talk about somepermission slips, right?
And what do I mean by that?
I thought it would be kind offunny to just kind of go up go
about it this way.
(05:21):
Yo, anybody need a permissionslip to just take a nap every
now and again?
Yo, for my new parents, newfathers, new mothers, permission
to take a nap every now andagain simply because we need it,
(05:42):
bro.
I don't know who needs a napright now, but this is your
sign.
Uh somebody once somebody toldme that they were listening to
the podcast the other day.
They took a nap, beingencouraged by the podcast, woke
up, and then started playing thepodcast again.
That's what we're here for.
Okay?
(06:02):
Let your hair down, get someenlightenment, get some
encouragement, recharge yourselfso that you can get up and do
what it is you need to do after.
Now, we're not talking aboutslumbering, we're not talking
about procrastinating here,okay?
(06:22):
Because there are many of usthat have a tendency now to take
too many naps, and weprocrastinate a little bit too
much, and we slumber a littlebit too much, and we sleep a
little bit too much when weought to be up and we ought to
be working, and we ought to bedoing, we ought to be creating,
(06:43):
and we're slumbering.
That's not who I'm talking to.
I'm talking to the person whois a month into your parenthood
journey.
Take a nap.
Take a nap.
It's so funny.
I I mentioned how I'm somebodywho gives and gives and gives,
right?
I've even now I'm I'm givingprofessionally.
(07:05):
Pause.
Right?
You know, I I've created thisbusiness, and you'll hear more
about it.
A lot of people are familiarwith it already.
And yo, it's predicated ongiving, it's predicated on
helping.
That's the whole business modelis doing for others, helping
(07:29):
others communicate their issuesand where they're not seeing eye
to eye.
That that's what the wholething is, and again, you'll hear
more about that.
Um, and I find I'm a new I'm anew father, as you know, right?
(07:50):
I find that as someone I have Ihave become this person who is
just there, who just makeshimself available for everyone
and to everyone, right?
(08:11):
So much so that if I am, forexample, I have been taking care
of my daughter and and my wife,and we've been doing it
together, the three of us as afamily, and you know, shout out
to the village who comes in andyou know helps and and does what
(08:32):
they need to do to assist us.
But at times, I have foundmyself feeling guilty for not
being there for everyone the wayI was before the baby.
That's the truth, and and youknow what I'm talking about.
(08:55):
I have found myself feelingguilty and bothered by the fact
that yo, I'm not calling thesepeople as much as I was before.
I'm not checking in on myvillage the way I was doing
before.
You know, I'm not listening tothe cries the way I was before
(09:18):
and the problems the way I wasbefore.
There are listen, I I there aretimes my phone will ring and I
don't even answer it anymorebecause you know what?
I've had to create boundaries,and I have felt bad about that.
But I thank God that He isgiving me the wisdom that I need
(09:39):
and instructing me in the way Iought to go during this season
of my life.
The Bible says in Ecclesiastesthat to this is one of my
favorite scriptures, toeverything, to everything, there
is a season, and there is atime and a purpose to everything
under the heavens.
It goes on to say there's atime to do this and a time to do
(10:01):
that.
There's a time for this and atime for that, a time for this,
a time, there's a time to beawake, there's a time to nap.
There's a time to be there forthe masses, there's a time to be
there with your family.
Ooh, hold on now.
How many people, how manyfamilies have we seen?
We, a lot of us come from abroken family.
(10:22):
What is it a result of,oftentimes?
Daddy not being there, choosingto work more so than not, mom
being forced to raise thechildren by herself.
We've seen this thing sort ofsystemically throughout history,
throughout our own history.
We we a lot of us come from thechurch.
(10:45):
I I was on record talking aboutthis recently.
How many, how many pastors andleaders have we seen get it
wrong because they have chosento put the ministry completely
ahead of their family?
Listen, I ain't come to get introuble.
All right.
(11:05):
I'm just saying, to everything,there is a season.
There is a time Jesus had towithdraw himself from the
masses.
Jesus had to separate himselfto go pray.
He had to step away from thecrowd, even when the crowd was
(11:26):
clamoring more for him.
My wife and I, we we watchedthe show The Chosen.
We love the show, right?
A lot of us know about it.
We're continuing the fifthseason of the show right now,
and and at a time of ofheightened emotion, in a time
where Jesus had to overturn thetables and had to address the
(11:48):
Pharisees and had to address thecrowd, parable after parable,
had to explain himself andexplain the kingdom of God that
was to come and that was infront of them.
Even then, in the midst ofthat, at the height of it, there
(12:09):
came a time where Jesus had toretreat, he had to draw himself
away.
It's important, it's importantthat we understand that, right?
Uh permission slips, right?
Permission slips.
Permission to not text back.
(12:31):
Permission to not text backright away.
Permission to not text backtoday.
Permission to not return aphone call, like because I'm
simply not ready to return yourcall right now.
Now, listen, I I don't know.
I you know you if you couldn'ttell, I kind of I operate a
(12:54):
little bit in a different way.
Um and so all of this is likeunder the premise that we're
keeping it a hundred across theboard, right?
We're operating under thepremise that we're keeping it a
hundred across the board.
If I am constantly andconsistently someone who is not
texting back my loved ones, youknow, your girl is waiting how
(13:16):
long for you to respond, you'renot returning phone calls to
people, you avoid confrontation.
I'm not talking to you.
Respectfully.
I'm not talking to you.
You're not a good communicator,you know what I'm saying?
You don't know how to resolveconflict.
I'm not talking to you.
You need to get it together.
(13:38):
This conversation is not foryou.
This conversation is for theperson who is constantly
responding, constantly showingup, constantly there for others.
Yo, listen.
Respectfully, I have writtenmyself a permission slip to not
(14:00):
text back right away, right now.
At this point in my life, Ihave written myself a permission
slip to not respond to yourphone call.
If I am not able to and notready to right now.
I'm sorry.
In advance, yo, this is whereI'm at in my life right now.
(14:24):
I don't know if anybody canrelate.
I don't know if anybody canrelate.
But I found myself feelingguilty about it, right?
And I and I and I'm watchingfrom afar and I'm seeing, number
one, and it's so funny.
My shout out to my brother, mybrother Andrew Sill.
Um, a lot of us know himaffectionately as Brandon.
(14:46):
Um, we spent some good timetogether this past weekend.
I went up to Pennsylvania oracross to Pennsylvania, however
you want to say it.
And um you guys are gonna behearing from him and seeing him
soon on his podcast, by the way.
But he has been telling mefrom, I mean, when I before I
got married, how much more,because he's a married man.
He's my I call him my littlebigger brother because he he's
(15:10):
he he was he's younger than me,several years younger than me,
but got married before me, hadchildren before me, straight up
became a man before me.
Let's call it what it is,right?
So, you know, learning how tosupport and and and grow a
family and raise a family,right?
He has been telling me from thejump how much I'm gonna learn
about myself through thisprocess.
(15:33):
And I have had to write myselfa permission slip for to excuse
myself because of how bad I havefelt for not being there in a
(15:53):
way where I was always there foreverybody.
That that is and I'm not theonly person who goes through
that.
I'm not the only person whogoes through that.
You the it's and I and I Iwrote this down the fear of
(16:17):
disappointing.
I I hate to disappoint people.
I hate to disappoint people.
Maybe that's something I gottawork on.
I hate not being there forpeople.
I believe that's why God hasgiven God didn't give me this
podcast, this business, and thennow all of a sudden I became
(16:40):
this person.
I know I was this personalready, and because I am this
person, then now God was like,yo, this is your assignment.
This is part of your assignmentright here.
Feeling like a bad friend.
I hate even just the the ideaof being a bad friend, being a
(17:04):
bad brother.
Bro, I got a I probably got anessay of a text message from a
sister of mine.
This morning, I woke up to it,was reading it, it almost broke,
it started bringing me totears, and I all now I haven't
finished reading the message.
(17:25):
And I shout out to my sister,Sav.
Shout out to shout out to you,sis.
I I want because you're gonnahear this, right?
You're gonna hear this becauseyou're someone who constantly
supports what I'm doing, right?
So you're gonna hear this.
As you hear this, now Iprobably am gonna finish reading
it and respond by then, but Ijust want you to know that this
is a part of that.
(17:45):
I have not responded to thatmessage for several reasons.
One, I didn't finish it becauseI started crying and had to
stop for a second.
Right?
But two, I wasn't ready tofinish reading it because boom,
immediately I had to get up andand feed my daughter.
Wife was like, yo, listen, Igotta go to the bathroom real
(18:10):
quick.
So boom, now I'm doing it,right?
And then boom, now now we backand forth, and I gotta run out
and do this.
Now I'm here, I gotta do thisright here and get this done.
I haven't gotten back to thatyet.
I'm writing myself a permissionslip.
And that's a little different.
That's that's a littledifferent of a situation.
But my point is, these thingsare going to come up.
(18:32):
And maybe in the past, I wouldfeel like a bad friend or bad
brother that I got thisheartfelt message and have not
responded.
Funny enough, she's one of thepeople who has encouraged me.
She's one of the people who haswho knows how much I give to
everyone, right?
She's one of those people.
She's one of the people who,yo, sis, you are one of the
(18:55):
people who helped me with thisparticular chronicle.
I have come to theunderstanding that it is okay.
It is okay to take a step back.
I don't know who I'm talkingto.
I don't know who I'm talkingto.
(19:16):
I don't know who needs to hearthis.
But this is your sign to writeyourself a permission slip.
And watch this now.
Watch this, watch this.
I mentioned how she's one ofthe people who have encouraged
me to not feel bad.
You're gonna have people,you're gonna have people who
want to make you feel bad.
(19:37):
That you're going through acertain time in your life and
you aren't showing up for themthe way they would like you to.
Oh, hold it now.
I'm about to upset, I'm aboutto upset the devil in somebody.
There are people who are gonnatry to make you feel bad.
Yo, you used to call me all thetime, and now you don't call me
(20:03):
no more.
Yo, I could have sworn thatphone worked both ways.
You used to text me all thetime, you used to go out with us
all the time, and now you don'tgo out with us no more, and it
automatically there must be aproblem, right?
We must have beef now, becauseI don't come out all the time no
more.
Watch out for those people.
(20:23):
Those are people you gotta yougotta watch out for, you gotta
keep a close eye on them.
Them people who gonna uh makeyou feel guilty for not being
around, they don't even some ofthem don't even know what's
going on in your life for real.
And they're gonna try to makeyou feel guilty for not being
around the way you used to.
And instead of checking on you,you're usually the one that
(20:46):
checks on them, right?
You're usually the one thatshows up for them.
And instead of showing up foryou, they don't hear from you
for a little bit.
Instead of showing up for youand returning a favor and
reciprocating that energy, theyturn that into a problem with
(21:06):
you now.
Watch them.
Low-key matter of fact, youdon't I say, yo, I always say
let people do what they want todo, and then they'll show you
what they want to do, they'llshow you what they rather do.
People are gonna show you whothey are.
And when people show you whothey are, my pastor told me this
one time.
Yo, when if if somebody isproducing apples, don't listen,
(21:29):
don't expect oranges from them.
Not to say people can't change.
The people point the the themoral of that message is people
will show you who they are.
And when people show you whothey are, believe them.
Believe them.
So now again, I was talkingabout how this conversation is
(21:50):
not for certain people.
When people show you that theydo not love others, you know you
you know what time it is.
When people show you that theydon't know how to handle
conflict, they don't know how toresolve issues, when people
show you that they are thecommon denominator, oh, oh, I
don't know where I'm going withthis.
(22:10):
When people show you thatthey're the common denominator
in problem after problem, youyou meet somebody, bro.
Listen, if you meet somebody,oh Lord, I'm all here.
I'm talking to the devil rightnow.
I'm talking to you right now,under my feet, right?
You notice that certain peoplecan't get along with anybody,
(22:31):
hold it now.
You know there's a problem.
Everybody can't be wrong.
Oh Lord, I don't know.
I don't know what I don't knowwhat happened there.
Everybody can be wrong.
That's a little sidebar.
But the expectation toconstantly make yourself
available to the world and tothe masses, no, sorry.
(22:53):
I and I don't feel bad anymore.
Listen, you you I I I said thisbefore, I posted it on
Instagram and I mentioned how Iposted this on Instagram.
You ever meet people who justyou you after a while you
recognize yo, these peopleactually love their problems.
I've been trying to help youwith your problem for so long,
and it seems like you actuallyenjoy your problems.
(23:14):
You enjoy these problems thatyou keep creating like to the
point where you keep creatingthem for yourself.
I'm gonna believe you after awhile.
And furthermore, yo, this is apublic service announcement, and
some people have heard thisdirectly, some people have
legitimately heard thisdirectly.
I I don't want to, I'm notwasting my time.
(23:36):
I'm not gonna waste my time.
Here's the thing you willalways get love for me, and I
will always be there for you,but there is a level at which
you will be able to receive whatGod has placed in me.
There's a certain point whereafter a certain time, the list
(24:03):
of people who will be able toreach me in a specific at a
specific time of day, it getssmaller now.
It has gotten smaller.
It's gotten smaller.
That list has gotten smaller asthe time dwindles now.
Right right now is 445.
The list I would say is prettybroad.
If you call me right now, youwill probably reach me,
(24:26):
depending on who you are,because typically I'll know what
you want, and I will eitheranswer or I'll return your phone
call.
Listen, I'm sorry, this iswhere I'm at in my life now.
I do not have time to waste.
Bro, I have a business I'mtrying to grow.
(24:47):
I have work that the Lord hasfor me to do.
Funny enough, it goes hand inhand to some degree.
I have a family that needs meto show up for them.
I have a wife, I have a child.
There will be another onecoming at some point, I don't
know when.
A lot of times I don't see it,but there are times where I see
(25:21):
the phone call, I see the phoneringing, and I legitimately say,
yo, I can't do it.
I'm sorry.
If you had called me earlier inthe day, maybe, but at right
now, I can't do it.
What you are about to bring tomy table and to my doorstep, I
don't want it at my door rightnow.
Yo, I listen.
(25:45):
Y'all want me to be honest,right?
Yo, there are some.
Can I can I talk to you?
Can I talk to somebody?
Yo, there are certain timeswhere you know what people are
about to bring to your doorstep,and you have to make the
decision.
Yo, I do not want this at mydoor right now.
(26:06):
I do not want this on my phoneright now.
I don't want to hear aboutthis, I don't want to talk about
it.
Whatever it is, I know who youare, and I know what you're
about to bring to my doorstep.
I want no part of it at thistime.
I can't do it.
I got things to do.
(26:28):
I'm at work.
I'm resting.
I have withdrawn from themasses at this time.
And yes, if it was my sisterwho was reaching out to me, I
could take that call.
If it was one of my brothers, aspecific one, all right.
(26:49):
My mom needs to read.
Even sometimes, if my mom'scalling, I'm gonna I'm gonna
make sure you're okay.
Sometimes some of my brothersand my sisters call me and I
make sure they're okay.
You know who I got that from?
My big brother Kareem.
There were several times in thepast we were younger, he's in
the middle of something, but hewould answer the phone anyway.
His his the first thing out ofhis mouth would be, yo, are you
(27:10):
all good?
Are you okay?
And I'm like, Yeah, I'm good.
I just had a few questionsabout something, or I needed
this.
He'd be like, yo, I'll hit youback.
That's where I'm at.
Yo, are you okay?
Are you safe?
Oh, you're okay?
Everything is safe?
That means this can wait.
Respectfully, of course.
(27:30):
It can wait.
I yo, it can wait.
Write yourself a permissionslip to tell people it can wait.
Can we do this tomorrow?
Can we pick this up tomorrow?
(27:51):
At this particular time, Ican't deal with this.
But tomorrow, yo, let's let'slet's schedule a call for
tomorrow.
Let's let's I'll reach out toyou tomorrow.
And and and we'll talk aboutthis.
I still love you, but I'm goingthrough something right now,
(28:14):
and I am I cannot deal with thisat the moment.
I can't talk to you right now.
Yo, your life is allowed tochange to everything there is a
season.
Almost every I want you to knowsomething.
Almost everything I say, morethan likely, is coming from
(28:39):
scripture.
That's where I'm at in my life.
I don't like to be wrong.
And if I'm following the wordof God, it like understand this.
If I am following the word ofGod, it is not possible for me
to be wrong about something.
If I am saying something thatthe word of God has said, if the
(29:04):
Lord has spoken it, it isright.
If I repeat what the Lord hasspoken, I cannot be wrong.
That is how I have modeled mylife.
Now, I get it wrong all thetime.
I I'm not because it's notpossible for me to follow
(29:27):
everything that the word of Godsays because I'm human.
My human nature will not allowfor it.
I was born in sin and shaped ininiquity.
That's why I needed Jesus to dowhat he did for me.
Because I couldn't do it formyself.
(29:48):
I will never get it rightcompletely for myself.
But I'm telling you right now,when it comes to giving advice,
having conversations, pleasebelieve that the word of God is
bleeding from me.
No pun intended.
He bled for me, and now hisword is gonna bleed through me.
Jesus bled for me, and now theword that he has spoken over my
(30:17):
life is gonna bleed through me.
To everything.
There is a season and there isa time to everything.
There's a time and a purpose toeverything under the heavens.
There's a time to be there foreveryone, and there's a time to
withdraw yourself.
Your life is allowed to change.
(30:45):
Your pace is allowed to slowwhen it needs to.
Your friendships are allowed toshift.
You're not you're not failingat being a good friend.
You're not failing at being theperson that's there for
everyone.
(31:05):
Yo, I just had a baby.
You will not hear from me theway you were hearing from me
before, because you simplycannot.
All that energy is going to mydaughter now.
I'm not failing, I'm adjusting.
So I have I have released theguilt that I felt initially.
(31:27):
Because the truth is this isturning me to into an even
better version of myself, to thepoint where I'll be, I'll even
know how to deal with peoplebetter because of this time of
my life.
I will have more patience forfor some people who need more
(31:51):
patience.
The way I need more patience.
I need people to have patiencewith me.
And so even having this child.
Specifically, a daughter isgiving me patience.
Having a daughter is giving memore patience to even learn how
to deal with my wife.
They're both women.
Can we talk about it?
Fellas, we need patience todeal with women, fellas.
(32:14):
And if I had a son, I wouldn'tbe learning patience the way I'm
learning it now.
Because it'd be different.
Yes, there's still babies, andbabies require a certain level
of patience.
But I'm telling you right now,my daughter is making it clear
to me that she's a woman.
So write yourself a permissionslip.
(32:39):
Write yourself a permissionslip to adjust as needed.
I really pray that this hasblessed somebody.
I don't know who you are, and Idon't know who needed to hear
this, but you know, I'm gladthat we were able to have this
conversation.
But and and and I'll be here,I'll be here for you.
(33:02):
And listen, if you if you'rehearing this and you're somebody
who, you know, you know youcome to me and stuff, don't
stop.
I'm here.
I'm here.
I just gotta do things a littledifferently now.
That's all.
I gotta do things a little bitdifferently.
I gotta j adjust a little bit.
You know what I'm saying?
So I can make uh make sure thatpeople are getting the best
(33:23):
from me.
That's the truth.
That's really, that's reallywhere this, that's where this
comes from.
It's not like, yo, no, I don'thave time for you no more
because I gotta put my time.
No, no, no, no, no.
I recognize, yo, I I'm notcapable of giving my all
everywhere all the time toeverything.
I'm just not capable of it.
I'm not.
I'm sorry.
I'm not.
(33:44):
I have to learn to adjust.
And if that I recognize I'm sogood with my phone, right?
I've always been so good atreaching out to people and
taking note mentally.
Like I like without having towrite things down, I know who I
have to call back, and I'mgetting back to everybody.
I'm responding to textmessages, all of that.
(34:05):
Bro, I swear they they talkabout the baby brain for the
mothers.
I swear that baby brain hit metoo, man.
I swear it hit me too.
Because like the amount oftimes I have forgotten to
respond, forgotten to call back,and I used to be able to just
do it like that.
I'm like, yeah, no, I gottachange how I do things now.
(34:27):
I start typing a message, thebaby will start crying, I gotta
deal with it.
That message I get is sent, andI'll completely forget about
it.
Like, that's how it'd be.
I could be completelyforgetting, bro.
So you gotta adjust, you gottalearn how to adjust.
I don't know who I'm talkingto, but learn how to adjust as
(34:51):
needed.
And pray.
Pray and ask God for thebalance that you need.
Lord, I need to be able tobalance being there for my
village and taking care of thethings I need to take care of
while not completely depletingmyself of everything that's
within me.
(35:11):
They say you can't pour from anempty cup.
That's what they say.
All right.
Me personally, I realize thatthat pouring from an empty cup
is what refills my cup.
Personally.
At least that's what I thoughtat one point.
(35:33):
And I think to some degree itstill does refill my cup.
The thing is, I just don't havethe energy to do it all the
time.
You know what I'm saying?
I just don't, I don't, I don't,I'm human.
You know, like you know whatI'm saying?
Like, I still get recharged andrefilled when I'm when I'm
(35:56):
encouraging someone.
You know what I'm saying?
That's that that doesn'tchange.
It's that I just literallycan't do that at one in the
morning anymore.
I got a child now.
Like, what are we talkingabout?
I can't I'm yeah, I just can'tdo it at one in the morning
anymore.
Like I'm saying, I can't, Ican't, I can't encourage you and
talk to you about your problemsat two in the morning anymore.
(36:17):
You know what I'm saying?
Because I have a baby that'sgonna wake up if I do that.
And I'm not about to wake thewe just put this child down.
I'm not about to wake the babyup because I'm in here talking
that talk, helping you changeyour life when I can do that for
you tomorrow morning at at 8a.m., 9 a.m.
You know what I'm saying?
Let's reconvene then.
Let's reconvene then, bro.
(36:38):
Yo, I love you guys.
I love you.
I appreciate you, man.
If you are here, you know whoyou are.
You're always here, and I loveyou for it, and I appreciate you
for it.
This is the Moral CompassChronicles.
Until next time, you be safe,man, and I love you.
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