July 23, 2025 • 38 mins
Our perception is not always reality, and when our analysis of a situation is wrong, our conclusions and decisions will inevitably be wrong as well. This principle explains why so many of our interpersonal conflicts start from misunderstandings that could have been avoided with better communication and a willingness to question our initial perceptions.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
grace and peace.
Grace and peace, one and all.
Welcome to another rendition ofthe moral compass chronicles.
I am your guy, I'm your boy,Eyon Jay.
It's truly a blessing to behere.
Yet again.
Shout out to my sister,Savannah, for this cup.
I'm enjoying it thoroughly.
(00:22):
I had my morning coffee out ofthere earlier, and so it is a
privilege, man, to be here witheach and every single one of you
guys.
I am honored to be able tocontinue this, just to have
another day giving God thanksfor another day, another
(00:43):
opportunity.
Have another day giving Godthanks for another day, another
opportunity.
I want to dive right into thisthing Now, our last chronicle
that we had.
We talked about choices, and Iwant to remind somebody that
your choices outweigh yourcircumstances.
I know many times it feels likewhen we're in a situation, when
(01:03):
we have a particularcircumstance, that that is what
defines us.
I want to remind somebody andencourage somebody that your
situation does not define you.
You are not your situation, youare not your circumstance, and
the choices that you make on anevery single day basis, your
(01:24):
choices and decisions, willdetermine where you end up.
For the most part, all right.
Your choices have the abilityto get you out of your current
circumstance.
It's your decisions on a dailybasis, the choices that you make
, the actions that you decide totake.
(01:44):
That outweighs the circumstancethat you were born into.
Oftentimes, all right, and Idon't want to go you know too
much into that.
That was the last chronicle.
If you, if you didn't hear thatone, go take a listen to that
last episode.
It's on the podcast availableeverywhere Apple, spotify, I
mean everywhere, everywhere,everywhere, everywhere.
(02:05):
It's a blessing that thispodcast is available everywhere,
and so I have this thought thatI want to share with you guys
on today.
Now.
It's so crazy, because god hasbeen preparing me for this
(02:25):
journey and this enterprise thatI am creating the mediation,
the problem solving, theconflict resolution, the long
form content in the form of thispodcast.
(02:46):
I've been getting prepared forthis.
I have been learning through myexperiences and, over the last
few years, studying to showmyself approved and and
diligently working to understandand be able to articulate that
(03:14):
which I see.
And so, back in 2022, thisthought came to me and I wrote
this down.
This thought came to me and Iwrote this down October.
This note was created October24th 2022 at 910 pm Eastern
(03:35):
Standard Time.
The thought I wrote was becausetheir analysis is wrong, their
conclusion Will absolutely bewrong, and that's what I want to
talk about here today.
We talked about choices in thelast episode, the last chronicle
, we talked about choices.
I feel like we're justpiggybacking on that topic here
(03:57):
today, because when youranalysis of a particular
situation or circumstance isincorrect, your initial analysis
you wind up with misguidedconclusions.
And I want to tell a little, afunny little story here.
(04:21):
I was in the laundromat with mywife uh, maybe two weeks ago or
so and I'm in the laundromat.
There's, there's a homeless guyin the laundromat and it's two
things.
Watch this, the devil wasreally like trying to mess with
me on that particular day.
My wife I know my wiferemembers this when you're
listening to this sweetie Um,I'm in the laundromat, I have my
(04:44):
machines that I'm using.
There's a sink in thelaundromat as well.
You know you can go to the sinkand you know, fill your things
up with water, do whatever, dowhatever you need to do at the
sink and you know clean thingswhatever, whatever, I mean wash
your hands, whatever.
The case may be.
Right, um, there's a homelessguy who's in the laundromat.
He came into the laundromatspecifically to clean himself.
(05:04):
Now this is very unfortunatecircumstance, um, and you know
life, life happens.
So the guy's homeless, he's inthe laundromat cleaning himself
at the garbage can, has fecesall over him.
It was a bad sign, it was a badsight and the the worker said
(05:25):
sir, you cannot do that in here.
I mean in the middle of thelaundromat, the gentleman is
cleaning his feces filled pantsand his undergarments and
himself in the with a rag in thegarbage can, throwing this
stuff.
I mean definitely a hazard,like a biohazard, like type vibe
.
She told him yo, you cannot dothat in here.
(05:45):
He didn't listen right.
So he's going about hisbusiness.
I'm doing my business, I'm nopun intended.
I'm washing my clothes.
I'm going back and forth to thesink.
The gentleman and myself wemeet at the sink.
So now let me, like I want youto understand I'm washing my
clothes in the laundry machines.
(06:06):
This gentleman is washing hisbody using that same sink that
everybody needs to use.
The guy has feces all over himand he has a rag that he's using
.
Mind you, it was the laundromatrag that was on the sink.
He took the rag and I'm prayingfor this guy because that's a
(06:28):
tough spot to be in and Idefinitely have empathy and I
didn't say anything to him.
I just feel bad.
But you know what?
We crossed paths because I'mgoing to the sink sink and he's
(06:50):
now trying to.
He's washing out his rag thathas feces and stuff on it in the
sink and I'm sorry, I didn'tintend to tell this this
elongated story.
You all say I'm long-winded, butthat's why I have the podcast
shout out to the moral compasschronicles.
You know the moral compasschronicles.
This microphone and thisplatform will always listen to
me, even when someone doesn'twant to.
So shout out.
To shout out to the to themoral compass Chronicles.
Now, yes, that's verydisgusting.
(07:12):
And now some might say, well,you probably shouldn't even use
that sink anymore.
You're right, a hundred percentRight.
But right before he actuallygot into the sink, I went and I
stopped by the sink and he'slooking at me like, oh, you got
users.
I'm like I didn't.
I'm like, yeah, so he moves outthe way.
Right, I go to the sink.
I do what I got to do.
I didn't touch anything forreal.
For real, I just used let thewater that was running.
(07:33):
I filled something with thewater, obviously untouched by
any of the things that he gotgoing on.
And I'm going back to mymachine, my machine.
With my luck, this samegentleman now, I guess when he
moved away from the sink he goesand stands, just coincidentally
stands in front of my machine,which is like it's not even like
it's on the end near the sink.
(07:54):
My man went, it's like he wentand found my machine, bro, and
he is now cleaning himself infront of my machine, and when I
come back around the corner toget to my machine, I'm like, oh
my God, of course, with my luckhe'd be standing.
So now it's like two times meand him cross paths, like
directly, and he's now looking alittle frustrated because he's
(08:16):
like yo man, like as if he don'thave no privacy.
Meanwhile, bro, you're cleaningyourself in the middle of the
laundromat, cleaning feces,wiping your behind and your
privates in the middle, pantsdown everything, bro, in the
middle of the laundromat.
So, but he's frustrated nowbecause like he not getting no
privacy, because now he feltlike I'm following him.
(08:37):
So the guy like throws a fitand I'm just like, bro, you're
in front of my machine.
I didn't even say nothing yet,though.
So so bro now walks past meagain, pants down, everything
goes back over to the sink.
I'm doing what I'm doing to themachine and now I'm tight
because, guess what, with myluck I have to go back to the
sink, bro.
So I go around to the sink andthe guy is at the sink again and
(09:02):
now he's tight.
He blurts out yo, why the F?
You following me, man, why areyou following me?
And I'm like I almost blew agasket because I'm like bro, I'm
following you.
That is one example ofsomeone's analysis being so.
Talk about being loud and wrong.
We talked about that in theearlier episodes of the moral
(09:24):
compass chronicles.
If you remember being loud andwrong, bro, I mean, and god
forbid.
Now you got to apologize.
The gentleman now feels likeI'm following him.
Mind you, I'm in the laundromatdoing what I have to do, the
correct way.
Bro is in a laundromat, he notwashing no clothes in no machine
.
Bro is washing himself and thefeces off of himself in the sink
(09:48):
.
And bro accused me of followinghim and and and and I had to
let him know bro, nobody'sfollowing you, bro.
The lady had to call the policeon him and everything.
And bro eventually left andleft feces everywhere, on a
chair.
He was sitting in, sat down andit was a mess.
It was a mess, it was a mess.
(10:09):
That is one example ofsomeone's analysis being
incorrect.
From the from the beginning, hestarted feeling like I was
following him.
He drew a conclusion Now thisguy is following me, he's trying
to mess with me, whatever thecase may be.
And so then, boom, now we, wehave a little argument before
(10:32):
ultimately he leaves.
Same day, in the same laundromat, right, and I really want to.
I want to dig into this, so Iwant to.
I'm gonna keep.
I'm gonna try to keep thisshort.
Here, same day, no coincidence,now in the same laundromat.
Now my wife and I were donewashing.
Now it's time to go over to theside with the dryers.
Our clothes are drying, some ofthem are done, she has.
(10:53):
The laundromat was fairly emptythat day.
It wasn't really full.
So you know, a lot of times ifit's too full, we'd have to
share a folding table.
But today she had one becausewe had a lot of clothes on that
particular day.
She had one um folding table toherself.
I had one to myself also.
She's folding her clothes, I'mfolding mine, and now a young
(11:14):
lady comes up, probably aroundthe same age as me.
She comes over now and shestarts using the dryers that are
right next to my folding table.
Right, and she comes over and Ican't tell if she's folding or
putting clothes into the dryeror taking them out of the dryer.
Now she came over as she'sdoing her stuff, you know, with
(11:37):
her clothes in a cart and she'sputting some in the dryer,
taking some things out, you know, sifting through some of the
clothes.
She's folding certain things upand then she starts putting
them on the folding table that Iwas using, I mean directly next
to me.
So like, right when that I saw,it kind of happened and I saw
her, like in the area, in thevicinity, mind you, my wife has
(12:00):
a folding table.
So I look at my wife and I sayyo, babe, should I come fold
over there?
Like should I fold next to you?
Or cause I don't know if she,if she needs space, maybe I'll
give her, give her the space tofold her stuff.
And my wife was like I don'tknow, just, you know, wait and
see if she needed, I guess,whatever.
So I'm like, all right, cool.
(12:25):
So I keep folding clothes.
The lady has her clothesdirectly next to me.
And I'm now in my mind, I'mtrying to figure out yo, should
I ask her if she needs a table?
You know cause I, I, I couldeasily move to the table next to
my wife, right, if this ladydon't have a table, I'll give
her mine, you know.
And I'm just trying to likeassess the situation.
So, as I'm assessing, I'm likekind of like looking at her a
little bit just to see, allright, is she putting clothes in
(12:51):
, is she taking clothes out?
Like what's going on?
And in a second I'll ask her.
Right, I just want to assessfirst, but I'm going to ask her
if she needs somewhere to fold,cause I'll happily give my
sister here this table to foldon, or I'll move over a little
more.
And now, mentally, I'll knowokay, I only have half this
table.
You know that sort of thing,we've all been there, right?
Nothing too crazy.
About five minutes later I'mgoing in and out of my dryer,
fold my clothes.
Her stuff is still on the tablenext to my stuff, right, and
(13:20):
this lady Is, she's on the phone.
She comes over and she's on thephone and I just hear her bad
mouthing somebody talking aboutand she's jamaican.
So you know how that go.
She's talking about how this,this, this, um, this, this man
come staring at her clothes andwatching her as if she don't
wash our clothes, and and thisbig belly man, this big belly
man that, like, now she'sinsulting somebody and she's
(13:41):
talking about this and that andand uh, you know insulting the
person, but then also saying,you know, but, as she's talking
about this and that and and anduh, you know insulting the
person, but then also saying youknow, but as she's talking, I'm
like yo, she's clearly talkingabout somebody in his laundromat
right now.
And as she keeps talking, I'mlike wait a minute, bro, this
lady's talking about me and howI'm staring at her clothes as if
she don't wash her clothes, andbecause she put on her clothes
(14:01):
right next to mine and I'mstaring at her clothes as if she
don't wash our clothes.
And because she put on herclothes right next to mine and
I'm staring at her clothes,making faces at her clothes and
watching her as if her clothesnot clean, and just all of this
stuff on the phone.
And so I I start activelylistening and she's talking to
her mother, and now she's.
Now she and I are standingdirectly next to each other, bro
(14:23):
, and she is bad mouthing me toher mother on the phone, right
in front of me, as if I'm notthere.
So I you know me now I'm a, I'ma, I'm a problem solver.
I try to deescalate situations.
So I say, wait a minute, sis,you didn't think I was like, you
(14:44):
know, watching you in a bad wayor anything, right you?
And she's like no, no, no,don't try to say nothing to me
now.
Don't try to say nothing to menow.
You're sitting there, I see youwatching my stuff as if my
clothes dirty, and she's going.
Now she's talking to me and I'mlike no, no, no, no, sis, I was
trying to figure out if you, ifyou, were drying clothes and if
you needed a space to fold yourclothes, and but now, at this
(15:06):
point she has made up her mindabout what I was doing, to the
point where now it's a wholeproblem in her head.
I hope somebody's with me now.
I know this story went on for awhile, but there's a, there's a
method to the madness, there's apoint I'm trying to make right.
She has decided in her mindalready that this ugly, big
belly man and, mind you, mybelly, not even that big.
(15:27):
Y'all know me, so y'all know Ilook good, like let's keep it a
hundred.
I'm a decent looking guy, likeI ain't.
No, you know what I'm saying.
But she's like this, thishideous looking man, ugly man
with this, and that you know, inhere with his pregnant
girlfriend, mind you, that's mywife like keep it 100.
She's a wife for real, so putsome respect on her name.
But and she has decided thatthat's what I was doing, bro, to
(15:51):
the point where now she'scursing me, she, she went and
called her mother telling hermother about this whole thing,
incident that happened or that'shappening currently.
And you did all that just soyou can insult me in a third
person for real, as if I'm notthere, instead of talking to me
directly.
That's a whole nother story.
But my point is, bro, this Iactually looked at her while
she's like cursing me andtelling me she don't want to
(16:13):
hear me, don't say nothing toher, don't talk to her, whatever
, whatever, whatever.
I already disrespect her.
I looked at her and I said Ilegitimately said this to her.
I said, sis, your anger isterribly misplaced right now.
Your anger is terriblymisguided.
She said oh, my anger ismisguided and now I'll be kind
of like going back and forth andnow she's telling me shut up.
(16:33):
Now I'm a man arguing with awoman, how I look like, you know
how I look a man arguing, andwe're going back and forth and
she and she still insulted meand I'm like, bro, are you like?
The devil is clearly at work,but that is a bro.
That woman could not have beenany more wrong.
She could not have been anymore wrong about what I was
(17:01):
thinking when I was looking ather clothes and when I was
watching her.
To mind you, I'm watching herto see if she's putting clothes
in the dryer or taking them out,and I realized she's putting
clothes in and the things thatshe has right here, kind of like
wet clothes that she don't wantto dry, and so I look to make
the assessment to then figureout if I need to ask her if she
(17:23):
needs some space to fold.
I'm trying to be a good dude,I'm trying to be a good person
and I'm not saying nothing, butI was looking to see what she
had going on.
She took that I mean in theabsolute worst way possible and
accused me of of doing this andthinking this, and I mean all of
(17:48):
this stuff, and the lady couldnot have been more wrong.
That that's what I like torefer to as sort of like a chain
reaction of incorrect analysis.
Right, so now the lady had thewrong perspective, the complete
(18:09):
wrong perspective.
She saw me, she made up thisidea in her mind of what I was
thinking, what I was doing, whatmy intentions were, and that's
what produced now her perceptionof what was happening, produced
(18:31):
incorrect analysis.
So now she's operating withincorrect analysis of the
situation that took place, orthat was taking place in the
moment, which drove her now tothe wrong conclusion.
(18:55):
She drew the wrong conclusionbased off her perception of what
I was doing, based on theanalysis that she felt she
gathered watching me as I'mwatching her, so on, so forth,
saw me looking at her clothes.
She felt like I was looking ather clothes in a bad way,
thinking the clothes were dirtyor something.
She drew the wrong conclusion.
(19:19):
And now here come her poordecisions.
She's now cursing at me, she'sinsulting me.
Mind you, she don't know who Iam.
She don't know what type ofblessing I could have been in
her life, what kind ofrelationship we could have or
rapport we could have built fromthat encounter, had it went
(19:40):
positively.
You got to be careful whenyou're that type of person.
You got to be careful.
When you're that type of person, you got to be careful.
Drew the wrong conclusionaltogether and, as a result, now
she's cursing me, calling meout my name, telling me I'm this
, telling me I'm that, and wenton and upset herself to the
(20:03):
point where now she's upset,she's talking to her mom.
Her mom, upset now, probablyruined her day Whole time.
I was trying to help her.
We get.
You gotta be careful, it's.
It's important to gatheraccurate information.
(20:26):
It's important to ask questions.
When you find yourself in a ina disagreement with someone, you
find you, you find that you andsomebody are not on the same
page.
I want to teach, I want toteach something here.
You and somebody are not on thesame page.
I want to teach, I want toteach something here.
(20:48):
This is what the moral compasschronicles are all about.
You find that you and somebodyelse are not on the same page.
You and your brother, yoursister in your relationship,
your parents, complete strangers.
It's important to find out thecorrect information.
(21:15):
That situation at the laundromatcould have been totally avoided
.
And you know me now, I'm thetype of of person who I thought
about that situation all day andI wasn't even thinking to
myself, damn, what's wrong withthat lady.
Because I clearly saw that yo,ok, I see what type of person
I'm dealing with here.
I see what type of person I'mdealing with.
(21:36):
Now I have to act accordingly.
But see for me, actingaccordingly isn't yo, I'm going
to curse at you too.
You know, I want you.
I'm going to try to make you asupset as you're trying to make
me.
I actually told a lady, yo, I'mgoing to pray for you.
I actually told her that that'show that's.
That was my last thing I saidto her, and she didn't even
respond to that part.
I said I'm going to pray foryou.
(21:57):
Because I genuinely Now foundmyself thinking bro, what could
I have done differently?
You know what I could have diddifferently?
Maybe, if I had, I probablyshould have said something
earlier instead of just.
You know, people get offendedwhen you stare, or if they feel
like you're staring or you'relooking at them for too long or
you're looking at theirbelongings.
(22:18):
People can kind of get a littledefensive in her case, a lot
defensive.
So I found myself thinking, yo,what could I have done
differently in this situation?
You know that could havede-escalated it quicker.
So she could probably likemaybe to the point where she
(22:38):
wouldn't even have had to get onthe phone.
Because once she got on thephone and she's talking, and
she's going back and forth withher mom talking about this ugly
man who's who's looking at herstuff, like her clothes, not
clean.
Once we got to that point it waspretty much over, because
somebody like that you can'treason with them after a certain
point.
If you're gonna be able toreason with somebody who's that
kind, who's temperamental, likethat, um, clearly got anger
(23:01):
issues which I I've dealt withit in the past too.
So I understand completely.
You got to know that time is ofthe essence.
Time is.
Time is of the essence withcertain people and there is a
time period where, ifde-escalation does not happen,
(23:23):
it won't happen, because theseare people who will not allow it
to happen.
If the, if the disagreementgets to a certain point, a
certain level, that's it.
You either go further and yougo higher in the disagreement,
or you just end, or it endsright there with no parties
being happy.
But I found myself thinkingabout what I could have done
(23:45):
differently in this situation toavoid her getting so upset.
And and yes, maybe it's not myfault and this episode is not
about that, but I just this ishow my brain works, this is how
(24:07):
my heart is wired.
It hasn't always been like that, but that this is how it's
wired.
Now I find myself thinkingabout what I could have done
differently, even when maybeit's not my fault.
Air quotes right, and the truthis, if more of us did that, not
(24:28):
just after the disagreement butduring the disagreement, the
world would be a much betterplace, bro.
We would be much further aheadas a society, we would get so
many more things done, be a lotless standstills and, and you
know, if we were to Sort of puteach other and esteem each other
(24:56):
higher than ourselves.
We've talked about this.
This is a.
It's a biblical principle thatcan change the world, and it was
meant to, and it has Right, butwe've got to.
We've got to get back to thatand and those of us who have
never been there we've got tostart getting there where I'm
esteeming others.
(25:17):
If, if she had esteemed mehigher than herself in that
moment, her initial reactionwouldn't have been what it was
right.
And I guess maybe if I hadesteemed her higher than myself
sooner, I probably would havebeen a little more cognizant of
whether or not she was noticingthat I was like watching her or
(25:39):
not necessarily watching her,but you know, looking at her
stuff right, we probably couldhave avoided that.
We probably could have avoidedthat.
We probably could have avoidedthat.
But you know, what's done isdone and we learned from it.
Now I can guarantee you I'llnever be in that situation again
.
I'll speak up sooner.
Hey, sis, you know, listen, Isee you need somewhere to fold.
(25:59):
We can share the table, or mywife is over here, I can go over
here.
You know, if you need somespace to fold cause I need you
to have space too, you feel me,I need you to have space too.
The same way, we shouldn't havetwo tables, one family have two
tables, and then you now haveno tables.
That was where my head was at.
I could have articulated thatsooner and did a better job of
(26:19):
that before the anger set in onher part, you know, and so.
But we live, we live, we learn,we move and we go from there.
You know, it's important.
(26:40):
It's important for us torecognize these situations
before they happen.
At a certain point.
We've got to grow through this,through this.
(27:10):
I can't continue to handlethese things the way I always
have, because if I handle thesethings the way I always have,
the outcome will be the same asit's always been Right and, and
you know, the truth is there aresome people who don't mind that
, and that's that's.
You know, this conversation it's, yes, it's for anybody, but it
(27:34):
it won't reach and resonate witheverybody, though it never will
.
I don't believe it ever willbecause in order for this
conversation, this mindset, thistype of thought process that I
teach and that I preach, um, toreach the heart of everyone,
(27:57):
that would mean we'd all have tokind of be there already there.
There are millions of people inthis world.
Truth is, unfortunately, it'sprobably the majority of the
people who it's like yo, if meand you don't see eye to eye,
bro, on this, like I'm good, I'mgood on you, I'm walking away,
(28:23):
you're cl clipped, you're cutoff.
You know, that sort of thing isthat that toxic mindset and
toxic behavior that, quitefrankly, is glorified in today's
society and in today's day andage where, instead of resolving
the conflict.
I may have started it, but eventhough I started it, even though
(28:46):
it's like mostly my faultbecause you now are accusing it
of being mostly or all my faultI refuse to admit my fault in
this, and so now I'm cutting youoff, because anything that
doesn't align with my peacewhich half the time, uh, what
(29:11):
disturbs people's peace ishaving to take accountability.
That that's the worst part.
Your peace is being disturbedin your mind, but the truth is
you, you taking accountability,and the need for you to take
accountability is really andtruly what's disturbing your
(29:35):
peace.
And if that's the case, shouldthat really be?
Your peace is being disturbedbecause you're being forced to
take accountability, and so nowyou refuse to take
accountability because you'renot that type of person, and now
(29:58):
a relationship has to end.
We've got to get to the pointwhere the analysis on the
forefront is correct.
We've got to start judgingsituations correctly, seeing
(30:24):
things not for what we want themto be and and what we feel they
are, but for what they actuallyare.
And oftentimes we're not ableto get to that place on our own,
and that's why you have peoplelike myself, certified mediators
, you have lawyers and judges,you have psychologists and
(30:48):
therapists and so on and soforth, teachers who can provide
wise counsel, and this counselis meant to guide me in the
(31:15):
proper direction that I may nothave seen or may not have been
able to see on my own.
If not for the wise counsel Ihave received, I probably would
not have been able to come tothis conclusion that I should be
at.
If not for the wise counsel, Iwould be stuck with the wrong
analysis, which was my ownperspective.
The perspective I had waswritten in analysis that wasn't
(31:42):
necessarily correct and true tothe situation in the
circumstance at hand.
As a result, I have drawn thewrong conclusion and as a result
of this wrong conclusion, thisincorrect conclusion being drawn
, I am now making bad decisionsbecause of it.
(32:05):
Wise counsel is meant to stepin the midst of that and correct
it, not just at the end when Iam counseling and mediating.
I try to get out in front ofthat because if I could just
(32:26):
successfully interject andinject some wisdom right here,
where it needs to be now, theperception is changed before the
conclusion is made.
That's the goal.
The perspective needs to bechanged before the conclusion is
made.
That's the goal.
The perspective needs to bechanged before the conclusion
gets made.
It's much harder once theconclusion and the decision is
(32:49):
made, the bad decisions happen.
Now we're hurting each other.
The analysis matters, theanalysis matters, the analysis
(33:09):
matters.
If your gps is set to the wrongdirection or, better yet, the
wrong address, it doesn't matterhow fast you drive, you're
never going to reach the properdestination.
It doesn't matter how muchtraffic you cut up you know what
I'm saying.
Don't matter how many lightsyou run, don't matter how many
(33:36):
detours you feel like you took,you know cutting out traffic and
all of this.
None of that matters If yourGPS is set to the wrong address.
The GPS is your perspective inthis analogy.
If it's set, if the wrongaddress is punched in, doesn't
(33:56):
matter what you do, don't matterwhat kind of car you driving,
it don't matter if you're usingWaze or Google Maps.
You put the wrong address in.
You're going to get to, you'regoing to go to the wrong, the
wrong destination.
So let's be solution based.
(34:16):
Let's start to See these thingsNot just after.
It's good, the the afterward isthe learning experience.
Right?
I can look at this situation inthe laundromat and learn from
it, but I'm not just learningfrom it so that I go and make
the wrong analysis and wrongdecision again.
(34:36):
And then now I'm in the samesituation and oh, now I got to
learn from it.
No decision again.
And then now I'm in the samesituation and oh, now I got to
learn from it.
No, I'm learning from this one,so that the next time something
happens I can move accordingly.
I can take a pause, start todraw and line up, outline the
right you know, outline thingsthe right way, see things the
(34:57):
right way.
Outline the right you know.
Outline things the right way,see things the right way.
Ask questions if I need to.
In the midst of the conflict,I'm asking questions.
This is why I don't like texting.
The wrong perspective andperception is king oftentimes.
(35:18):
The perception of the textmessage oftentimes is not what
the sender of the text messageintended.
Texting is one of the lowestforms of communication.
So if I need to, if I've got toclarify a text, I have to call
(35:43):
and clarify, because I'm notquite sure what this meant and I
would hate to take this textmessage out of context.
I would hate to take what youjust said to me out of context
if that's not what you meant.
It behooves me, and it behoovesyou, it behooves us both, to
have a conversation about whatwe mean and what we meant when
we said this, what we werefeeling.
(36:06):
Why did I say this?
Did I say this becausesomething else happened?
Is there more to the story thatI don't know yet?
I was just having aconversation with my cousin
earlier today and, had she madea certain decision without me
knowing why, I would be left tomy own imagination, and it
(36:29):
wasn't something between us.
So she didn't owe me theconversation.
She called me because shewanted to talk to me about it.
But now I know, and furthermore, I was able to speak into the
situation, I was able to offersome little wisdom that I may
have, and by the end of theconversation, she's like well,
(36:52):
you know, maybe, maybe I got towait a little bit.
Then, the decision that Ithought I was going to make,
based on the conclusion thatI've drawn, based off my own
analysis of the currentsituation I don't know anymore
Based off what you're telling me, eon, maybe it'll be smart for
(37:15):
me to hold off on the decision Ithought I was ready to make.
This is the moral compass.
Chronicles man.
This is the Moral Compass.
Chronicles man, this is theMoral Compass Chronicles, and
your analysis of the situationcannot be wrong.
Your perception is not alwaysreality.
(37:38):
You've got to try to find andfigure out the reality of the
situation, because it's thereality of the situation that
will cause you to draw theproper conclusion, which will
then allow you to make thenecessary decision that needs to
be made.
I hope this has helped somebody.
(38:00):
I hope this has helped somebody.
I hope this has helped somebody, even if it's one person.
This is the Moral CompassChronicles.
I love you Until next time.
grace and peace.
Grace and peace, one and all.
Welcome to another rendition ofthe moral compass chronicles.
I am your guy, I'm your boy,Eyon Jay.
It's truly a blessing to behere.
Yet again.
Shout out to my sister,Savannah, for this cup.
I'm enjoying it thoroughly.
(00:22):
I had my morning coffee out ofthere earlier, and so it is a
privilege, man, to be here witheach and every single one of you
guys.
I am honored to be able tocontinue this, just to have
another day giving God thanksfor another day, another
(00:43):
opportunity.
Have another day giving Godthanks for another day, another
opportunity.
I want to dive right into thisthing Now, our last chronicle
that we had.
We talked about choices, and Iwant to remind somebody that
your choices outweigh yourcircumstances.
I know many times it feels likewhen we're in a situation, when
(01:03):
we have a particularcircumstance, that that is what
defines us.
I want to remind somebody andencourage somebody that your
situation does not define you.
You are not your situation, youare not your circumstance, and
the choices that you make on anevery single day basis, your
(01:24):
choices and decisions, willdetermine where you end up.
For the most part, all right.
Your choices have the abilityto get you out of your current
circumstance.
It's your decisions on a dailybasis, the choices that you make
, the actions that you decide totake.
(01:44):
That outweighs the circumstancethat you were born into.
Oftentimes, all right, and Idon't want to go you know too
much into that.
That was the last chronicle.
If you, if you didn't hear thatone, go take a listen to that
last episode.
It's on the podcast availableeverywhere Apple, spotify, I
mean everywhere, everywhere,everywhere, everywhere.
(02:05):
It's a blessing that thispodcast is available everywhere,
and so I have this thought thatI want to share with you guys
on today.
Now.
It's so crazy, because god hasbeen preparing me for this
(02:25):
journey and this enterprise thatI am creating the mediation,
the problem solving, theconflict resolution, the long
form content in the form of thispodcast.
(02:46):
I've been getting prepared forthis.
I have been learning through myexperiences and, over the last
few years, studying to showmyself approved and and
diligently working to understandand be able to articulate that
(03:14):
which I see.
And so, back in 2022, thisthought came to me and I wrote
this down.
This thought came to me and Iwrote this down October.
This note was created October24th 2022 at 910 pm Eastern
(03:35):
Standard Time.
The thought I wrote was becausetheir analysis is wrong, their
conclusion Will absolutely bewrong, and that's what I want to
talk about here today.
We talked about choices in thelast episode, the last chronicle
, we talked about choices.
I feel like we're justpiggybacking on that topic here
(03:57):
today, because when youranalysis of a particular
situation or circumstance isincorrect, your initial analysis
you wind up with misguidedconclusions.
And I want to tell a little, afunny little story here.
(04:21):
I was in the laundromat with mywife uh, maybe two weeks ago or
so and I'm in the laundromat.
There's, there's a homeless guyin the laundromat and it's two
things.
Watch this, the devil wasreally like trying to mess with
me on that particular day.
My wife I know my wiferemembers this when you're
listening to this sweetie Um,I'm in the laundromat, I have my
(04:44):
machines that I'm using.
There's a sink in thelaundromat as well.
You know you can go to the sinkand you know, fill your things
up with water, do whatever, dowhatever you need to do at the
sink and you know clean thingswhatever, whatever, I mean wash
your hands, whatever.
The case may be.
Right, um, there's a homelessguy who's in the laundromat.
He came into the laundromatspecifically to clean himself.
(05:04):
Now this is very unfortunatecircumstance, um, and you know
life, life happens.
So the guy's homeless, he's inthe laundromat cleaning himself
at the garbage can, has fecesall over him.
It was a bad sign, it was a badsight and the the worker said
(05:25):
sir, you cannot do that in here.
I mean in the middle of thelaundromat, the gentleman is
cleaning his feces filled pantsand his undergarments and
himself in the with a rag in thegarbage can, throwing this
stuff.
I mean definitely a hazard,like a biohazard, like type vibe
.
She told him yo, you cannot dothat in here.
(05:45):
He didn't listen right.
So he's going about hisbusiness.
I'm doing my business, I'm nopun intended.
I'm washing my clothes.
I'm going back and forth to thesink.
The gentleman and myself wemeet at the sink.
So now let me, like I want youto understand I'm washing my
clothes in the laundry machines.
(06:06):
This gentleman is washing hisbody using that same sink that
everybody needs to use.
The guy has feces all over himand he has a rag that he's using
.
Mind you, it was the laundromatrag that was on the sink.
He took the rag and I'm prayingfor this guy because that's a
(06:28):
tough spot to be in and Idefinitely have empathy and I
didn't say anything to him.
I just feel bad.
But you know what?
We crossed paths because I'mgoing to the sink sink and he's
(06:50):
now trying to.
He's washing out his rag thathas feces and stuff on it in the
sink and I'm sorry, I didn'tintend to tell this this
elongated story.
You all say I'm long-winded, butthat's why I have the podcast
shout out to the moral compasschronicles.
You know the moral compasschronicles.
This microphone and thisplatform will always listen to
me, even when someone doesn'twant to.
So shout out.
To shout out to the to themoral compass Chronicles.
Now, yes, that's verydisgusting.
(07:12):
And now some might say, well,you probably shouldn't even use
that sink anymore.
You're right, a hundred percentRight.
But right before he actuallygot into the sink, I went and I
stopped by the sink and he'slooking at me like, oh, you got
users.
I'm like I didn't.
I'm like, yeah, so he moves outthe way.
Right, I go to the sink.
I do what I got to do.
I didn't touch anything forreal.
For real, I just used let thewater that was running.
(07:33):
I filled something with thewater, obviously untouched by
any of the things that he gotgoing on.
And I'm going back to mymachine, my machine.
With my luck, this samegentleman now, I guess when he
moved away from the sink he goesand stands, just coincidentally
stands in front of my machine,which is like it's not even like
it's on the end near the sink.
(07:54):
My man went, it's like he wentand found my machine, bro, and
he is now cleaning himself infront of my machine, and when I
come back around the corner toget to my machine, I'm like, oh
my God, of course, with my luckhe'd be standing.
So now it's like two times meand him cross paths, like
directly, and he's now looking alittle frustrated because he's
(08:16):
like yo man, like as if he don'thave no privacy.
Meanwhile, bro, you're cleaningyourself in the middle of the
laundromat, cleaning feces,wiping your behind and your
privates in the middle, pantsdown everything, bro, in the
middle of the laundromat.
So, but he's frustrated nowbecause like he not getting no
privacy, because now he feltlike I'm following him.
(08:37):
So the guy like throws a fitand I'm just like, bro, you're
in front of my machine.
I didn't even say nothing yet,though.
So so bro now walks past meagain, pants down, everything
goes back over to the sink.
I'm doing what I'm doing to themachine and now I'm tight
because, guess what, with myluck I have to go back to the
sink, bro.
So I go around to the sink andthe guy is at the sink again and
(09:02):
now he's tight.
He blurts out yo, why the F?
You following me, man, why areyou following me?
And I'm like I almost blew agasket because I'm like bro, I'm
following you.
That is one example ofsomeone's analysis being so.
Talk about being loud and wrong.
We talked about that in theearlier episodes of the moral
(09:24):
compass chronicles.
If you remember being loud andwrong, bro, I mean, and god
forbid.
Now you got to apologize.
The gentleman now feels likeI'm following him.
Mind you, I'm in the laundromatdoing what I have to do, the
correct way.
Bro is in a laundromat, he notwashing no clothes in no machine
.
Bro is washing himself and thefeces off of himself in the sink
(09:48):
.
And bro accused me of followinghim and and and and I had to
let him know bro, nobody'sfollowing you, bro.
The lady had to call the policeon him and everything.
And bro eventually left andleft feces everywhere, on a
chair.
He was sitting in, sat down andit was a mess.
It was a mess, it was a mess.
(10:09):
That is one example ofsomeone's analysis being
incorrect.
From the from the beginning, hestarted feeling like I was
following him.
He drew a conclusion Now thisguy is following me, he's trying
to mess with me, whatever thecase may be.
And so then, boom, now we, wehave a little argument before
(10:32):
ultimately he leaves.
Same day, in the same laundromat, right, and I really want to.
I want to dig into this, so Iwant to.
I'm gonna keep.
I'm gonna try to keep thisshort.
Here, same day, no coincidence,now in the same laundromat.
Now my wife and I were donewashing.
Now it's time to go over to theside with the dryers.
Our clothes are drying, some ofthem are done, she has.
(10:53):
The laundromat was fairly emptythat day.
It wasn't really full.
So you know, a lot of times ifit's too full, we'd have to
share a folding table.
But today she had one becausewe had a lot of clothes on that
particular day.
She had one um folding table toherself.
I had one to myself also.
She's folding her clothes, I'mfolding mine, and now a young
(11:14):
lady comes up, probably aroundthe same age as me.
She comes over now and shestarts using the dryers that are
right next to my folding table.
Right, and she comes over and Ican't tell if she's folding or
putting clothes into the dryeror taking them out of the dryer.
Now she came over as she'sdoing her stuff, you know, with
(11:37):
her clothes in a cart and she'sputting some in the dryer,
taking some things out, you know, sifting through some of the
clothes.
She's folding certain things upand then she starts putting
them on the folding table that Iwas using, I mean directly next
to me.
So like, right when that I saw,it kind of happened and I saw
her, like in the area, in thevicinity, mind you, my wife has
(12:00):
a folding table.
So I look at my wife and I sayyo, babe, should I come fold
over there?
Like should I fold next to you?
Or cause I don't know if she,if she needs space, maybe I'll
give her, give her the space tofold her stuff.
And my wife was like I don'tknow, just, you know, wait and
see if she needed, I guess,whatever.
So I'm like, all right, cool.
(12:25):
So I keep folding clothes.
The lady has her clothesdirectly next to me.
And I'm now in my mind, I'mtrying to figure out yo, should
I ask her if she needs a table?
You know cause I, I, I couldeasily move to the table next to
my wife, right, if this ladydon't have a table, I'll give
her mine, you know.
And I'm just trying to likeassess the situation.
So, as I'm assessing, I'm likekind of like looking at her a
little bit just to see, allright, is she putting clothes in
(12:51):
, is she taking clothes out?
Like what's going on?
And in a second I'll ask her.
Right, I just want to assessfirst, but I'm going to ask her
if she needs somewhere to fold,cause I'll happily give my
sister here this table to foldon, or I'll move over a little
more.
And now, mentally, I'll knowokay, I only have half this
table.
You know that sort of thing,we've all been there, right?
Nothing too crazy.
About five minutes later I'mgoing in and out of my dryer,
fold my clothes.
Her stuff is still on the tablenext to my stuff, right, and
(13:20):
this lady Is, she's on the phone.
She comes over and she's on thephone and I just hear her bad
mouthing somebody talking aboutand she's jamaican.
So you know how that go.
She's talking about how this,this, this, um, this, this man
come staring at her clothes andwatching her as if she don't
wash our clothes, and and thisbig belly man, this big belly
man that, like, now she'sinsulting somebody and she's
(13:41):
talking about this and that andand uh, you know insulting the
person, but then also saying,you know, but, as she's talking
about this and that and and anduh, you know insulting the
person, but then also saying youknow, but as she's talking, I'm
like yo, she's clearly talkingabout somebody in his laundromat
right now.
And as she keeps talking, I'mlike wait a minute, bro, this
lady's talking about me and howI'm staring at her clothes as if
she don't wash her clothes, andbecause she put on her clothes
(14:01):
right next to mine and I'mstaring at her clothes as if she
don't wash our clothes.
And because she put on herclothes right next to mine and
I'm staring at her clothes,making faces at her clothes and
watching her as if her clothesnot clean, and just all of this
stuff on the phone.
And so I I start activelylistening and she's talking to
her mother, and now she's.
Now she and I are standingdirectly next to each other, bro
(14:23):
, and she is bad mouthing me toher mother on the phone, right
in front of me, as if I'm notthere.
So I you know me now I'm a, I'ma, I'm a problem solver.
I try to deescalate situations.
So I say, wait a minute, sis,you didn't think I was like, you
(14:44):
know, watching you in a bad wayor anything, right you?
And she's like no, no, no,don't try to say nothing to me
now.
Don't try to say nothing to menow.
You're sitting there, I see youwatching my stuff as if my
clothes dirty, and she's going.
Now she's talking to me and I'mlike no, no, no, no, sis, I was
trying to figure out if you, ifyou, were drying clothes and if
you needed a space to fold yourclothes, and but now, at this
(15:06):
point she has made up her mindabout what I was doing, to the
point where now it's a wholeproblem in her head.
I hope somebody's with me now.
I know this story went on for awhile, but there's a, there's a
method to the madness, there's apoint I'm trying to make right.
She has decided in her mindalready that this ugly, big
belly man and, mind you, mybelly, not even that big.
(15:27):
Y'all know me, so y'all know Ilook good, like let's keep it a
hundred.
I'm a decent looking guy, likeI ain't.
No, you know what I'm saying.
But she's like this, thishideous looking man, ugly man
with this, and that you know, inhere with his pregnant
girlfriend, mind you, that's mywife like keep it 100.
She's a wife for real, so putsome respect on her name.
But and she has decided thatthat's what I was doing, bro, to
(15:51):
the point where now she'scursing me, she, she went and
called her mother telling hermother about this whole thing,
incident that happened or that'shappening currently.
And you did all that just soyou can insult me in a third
person for real, as if I'm notthere, instead of talking to me
directly.
That's a whole nother story.
But my point is, bro, this Iactually looked at her while
she's like cursing me andtelling me she don't want to
(16:13):
hear me, don't say nothing toher, don't talk to her, whatever
, whatever, whatever.
I already disrespect her.
I looked at her and I said Ilegitimately said this to her.
I said, sis, your anger isterribly misplaced right now.
Your anger is terriblymisguided.
She said oh, my anger ismisguided and now I'll be kind
of like going back and forth andnow she's telling me shut up.
(16:33):
Now I'm a man arguing with awoman, how I look like, you know
how I look a man arguing, andwe're going back and forth and
she and she still insulted meand I'm like, bro, are you like?
The devil is clearly at work,but that is a bro.
That woman could not have beenany more wrong.
She could not have been anymore wrong about what I was
(17:01):
thinking when I was looking ather clothes and when I was
watching her.
To mind you, I'm watching herto see if she's putting clothes
in the dryer or taking them out,and I realized she's putting
clothes in and the things thatshe has right here, kind of like
wet clothes that she don't wantto dry, and so I look to make
the assessment to then figureout if I need to ask her if she
(17:23):
needs some space to fold.
I'm trying to be a good dude,I'm trying to be a good person
and I'm not saying nothing, butI was looking to see what she
had going on.
She took that I mean in theabsolute worst way possible and
accused me of of doing this andthinking this, and I mean all of
(17:48):
this stuff, and the lady couldnot have been more wrong.
That that's what I like torefer to as sort of like a chain
reaction of incorrect analysis.
Right, so now the lady had thewrong perspective, the complete
(18:09):
wrong perspective.
She saw me, she made up thisidea in her mind of what I was
thinking, what I was doing, whatmy intentions were, and that's
what produced now her perceptionof what was happening, produced
(18:31):
incorrect analysis.
So now she's operating withincorrect analysis of the
situation that took place, orthat was taking place in the
moment, which drove her now tothe wrong conclusion.
(18:55):
She drew the wrong conclusionbased off her perception of what
I was doing, based on theanalysis that she felt she
gathered watching me as I'mwatching her, so on, so forth,
saw me looking at her clothes.
She felt like I was looking ather clothes in a bad way,
thinking the clothes were dirtyor something.
She drew the wrong conclusion.
(19:19):
And now here come her poordecisions.
She's now cursing at me, she'sinsulting me.
Mind you, she don't know who Iam.
She don't know what type ofblessing I could have been in
her life, what kind ofrelationship we could have or
rapport we could have built fromthat encounter, had it went
(19:40):
positively.
You got to be careful whenyou're that type of person.
You got to be careful.
When you're that type of person, you got to be careful.
Drew the wrong conclusionaltogether and, as a result, now
she's cursing me, calling meout my name, telling me I'm this
, telling me I'm that, and wenton and upset herself to the
(20:03):
point where now she's upset,she's talking to her mom.
Her mom, upset now, probablyruined her day Whole time.
I was trying to help her.
We get.
You gotta be careful, it's.
It's important to gatheraccurate information.
(20:26):
It's important to ask questions.
When you find yourself in a ina disagreement with someone, you
find you, you find that you andsomebody are not on the same
page.
I want to teach, I want toteach something here.
You and somebody are not on thesame page.
I want to teach, I want toteach something here.
(20:48):
This is what the moral compasschronicles are all about.
You find that you and somebodyelse are not on the same page.
You and your brother, yoursister in your relationship,
your parents, complete strangers.
It's important to find out thecorrect information.
(21:15):
That situation at the laundromatcould have been totally avoided
.
And you know me now, I'm thetype of of person who I thought
about that situation all day andI wasn't even thinking to
myself, damn, what's wrong withthat lady.
Because I clearly saw that yo,ok, I see what type of person
I'm dealing with here.
I see what type of person I'mdealing with.
(21:36):
Now I have to act accordingly.
But see for me, actingaccordingly isn't yo, I'm going
to curse at you too.
You know, I want you.
I'm going to try to make you asupset as you're trying to make
me.
I actually told a lady, yo, I'mgoing to pray for you.
I actually told her that that'show that's.
That was my last thing I saidto her, and she didn't even
respond to that part.
I said I'm going to pray foryou.
(21:57):
Because I genuinely Now foundmyself thinking bro, what could
I have done differently?
You know what I could have diddifferently?
Maybe, if I had, I probablyshould have said something
earlier instead of just.
You know, people get offendedwhen you stare, or if they feel
like you're staring or you'relooking at them for too long or
you're looking at theirbelongings.
(22:18):
People can kind of get a littledefensive in her case, a lot
defensive.
So I found myself thinking, yo,what could I have done
differently in this situation?
You know that could havede-escalated it quicker.
So she could probably likemaybe to the point where she
(22:38):
wouldn't even have had to get onthe phone.
Because once she got on thephone and she's talking, and
she's going back and forth withher mom talking about this ugly
man who's who's looking at herstuff, like her clothes, not
clean.
Once we got to that point it waspretty much over, because
somebody like that you can'treason with them after a certain
point.
If you're gonna be able toreason with somebody who's that
kind, who's temperamental, likethat, um, clearly got anger
(23:01):
issues which I I've dealt withit in the past too.
So I understand completely.
You got to know that time is ofthe essence.
Time is.
Time is of the essence withcertain people and there is a
time period where, ifde-escalation does not happen,
(23:23):
it won't happen, because theseare people who will not allow it
to happen.
If the, if the disagreementgets to a certain point, a
certain level, that's it.
You either go further and yougo higher in the disagreement,
or you just end, or it endsright there with no parties
being happy.
But I found myself thinkingabout what I could have done
(23:45):
differently in this situation toavoid her getting so upset.
And and yes, maybe it's not myfault and this episode is not
about that, but I just this ishow my brain works, this is how
(24:07):
my heart is wired.
It hasn't always been like that, but that this is how it's
wired.
Now I find myself thinkingabout what I could have done
differently, even when maybeit's not my fault.
Air quotes right, and the truthis, if more of us did that, not
(24:28):
just after the disagreement butduring the disagreement, the
world would be a much betterplace, bro.
We would be much further aheadas a society, we would get so
many more things done, be a lotless standstills and, and you
know, if we were to Sort of puteach other and esteem each other
(24:56):
higher than ourselves.
We've talked about this.
This is a.
It's a biblical principle thatcan change the world, and it was
meant to, and it has Right, butwe've got to.
We've got to get back to thatand and those of us who have
never been there we've got tostart getting there where I'm
esteeming others.
(25:17):
If, if she had esteemed mehigher than herself in that
moment, her initial reactionwouldn't have been what it was
right.
And I guess maybe if I hadesteemed her higher than myself
sooner, I probably would havebeen a little more cognizant of
whether or not she was noticingthat I was like watching her or
(25:39):
not necessarily watching her,but you know, looking at her
stuff right, we probably couldhave avoided that.
We probably could have avoidedthat.
We probably could have avoidedthat.
But you know, what's done isdone and we learned from it.
Now I can guarantee you I'llnever be in that situation again
.
I'll speak up sooner.
Hey, sis, you know, listen, Isee you need somewhere to fold.
(25:59):
We can share the table, or mywife is over here, I can go over
here.
You know, if you need somespace to fold cause I need you
to have space too, you feel me,I need you to have space too.
The same way, we shouldn't havetwo tables, one family have two
tables, and then you now haveno tables.
That was where my head was at.
I could have articulated thatsooner and did a better job of
(26:19):
that before the anger set in onher part, you know, and so.
But we live, we live, we learn,we move and we go from there.
You know, it's important.
(26:40):
It's important for us torecognize these situations
before they happen.
At a certain point.
We've got to grow through this,through this.
(27:10):
I can't continue to handlethese things the way I always
have, because if I handle thesethings the way I always have,
the outcome will be the same asit's always been Right and, and
you know, the truth is there aresome people who don't mind that
, and that's that's.
You know, this conversation it's, yes, it's for anybody, but it
(27:34):
it won't reach and resonate witheverybody, though it never will
.
I don't believe it ever willbecause in order for this
conversation, this mindset, thistype of thought process that I
teach and that I preach, um, toreach the heart of everyone,
(27:57):
that would mean we'd all have tokind of be there already there.
There are millions of people inthis world.
Truth is, unfortunately, it'sprobably the majority of the
people who it's like yo, if meand you don't see eye to eye,
bro, on this, like I'm good, I'mgood on you, I'm walking away,
(28:23):
you're cl clipped, you're cutoff.
You know, that sort of thing isthat that toxic mindset and
toxic behavior that, quitefrankly, is glorified in today's
society and in today's day andage where, instead of resolving
the conflict.
I may have started it, but eventhough I started it, even though
(28:46):
it's like mostly my faultbecause you now are accusing it
of being mostly or all my faultI refuse to admit my fault in
this, and so now I'm cutting youoff, because anything that
doesn't align with my peacewhich half the time, uh, what
(29:11):
disturbs people's peace ishaving to take accountability.
That that's the worst part.
Your peace is being disturbedin your mind, but the truth is
you, you taking accountability,and the need for you to take
accountability is really andtruly what's disturbing your
(29:35):
peace.
And if that's the case, shouldthat really be?
Your peace is being disturbedbecause you're being forced to
take accountability, and so nowyou refuse to take
accountability because you'renot that type of person, and now
(29:58):
a relationship has to end.
We've got to get to the pointwhere the analysis on the
forefront is correct.
We've got to start judgingsituations correctly, seeing
(30:24):
things not for what we want themto be and and what we feel they
are, but for what they actuallyare.
And oftentimes we're not ableto get to that place on our own,
and that's why you have peoplelike myself, certified mediators
, you have lawyers and judges,you have psychologists and
(30:48):
therapists and so on and soforth, teachers who can provide
wise counsel, and this counselis meant to guide me in the
(31:15):
proper direction that I may nothave seen or may not have been
able to see on my own.
If not for the wise counsel Ihave received, I probably would
not have been able to come tothis conclusion that I should be
at.
If not for the wise counsel, Iwould be stuck with the wrong
analysis, which was my ownperspective.
The perspective I had waswritten in analysis that wasn't
(31:42):
necessarily correct and true tothe situation in the
circumstance at hand.
As a result, I have drawn thewrong conclusion and as a result
of this wrong conclusion, thisincorrect conclusion being drawn
, I am now making bad decisionsbecause of it.
(32:05):
Wise counsel is meant to stepin the midst of that and correct
it, not just at the end when Iam counseling and mediating.
I try to get out in front ofthat because if I could just
(32:26):
successfully interject andinject some wisdom right here,
where it needs to be now, theperception is changed before the
conclusion is made.
That's the goal.
The perspective needs to bechanged before the conclusion is
made.
That's the goal.
The perspective needs to bechanged before the conclusion
gets made.
It's much harder once theconclusion and the decision is
(32:49):
made, the bad decisions happen.
Now we're hurting each other.
The analysis matters, theanalysis matters, the analysis
(33:09):
matters.
If your gps is set to the wrongdirection or, better yet, the
wrong address, it doesn't matterhow fast you drive, you're
never going to reach the properdestination.
It doesn't matter how muchtraffic you cut up you know what
I'm saying.
Don't matter how many lightsyou run, don't matter how many
(33:36):
detours you feel like you took,you know cutting out traffic and
all of this.
None of that matters If yourGPS is set to the wrong address.
The GPS is your perspective inthis analogy.
If it's set, if the wrongaddress is punched in, doesn't
(33:56):
matter what you do, don't matterwhat kind of car you driving,
it don't matter if you're usingWaze or Google Maps.
You put the wrong address in.
You're going to get to, you'regoing to go to the wrong, the
wrong destination.
So let's be solution based.
(34:16):
Let's start to See these thingsNot just after.
It's good, the the afterward isthe learning experience.
Right?
I can look at this situation inthe laundromat and learn from
it, but I'm not just learningfrom it so that I go and make
the wrong analysis and wrongdecision again.
(34:36):
And then now I'm in the samesituation and oh, now I got to
learn from it.
No decision again.
And then now I'm in the samesituation and oh, now I got to
learn from it.
No, I'm learning from this one,so that the next time something
happens I can move accordingly.
I can take a pause, start todraw and line up, outline the
right you know, outline thingsthe right way, see things the
(34:57):
right way.
Outline the right you know.
Outline things the right way,see things the right way.
Ask questions if I need to.
In the midst of the conflict,I'm asking questions.
This is why I don't like texting.
The wrong perspective andperception is king oftentimes.
(35:18):
The perception of the textmessage oftentimes is not what
the sender of the text messageintended.
Texting is one of the lowestforms of communication.
So if I need to, if I've got toclarify a text, I have to call
(35:43):
and clarify, because I'm notquite sure what this meant and I
would hate to take this textmessage out of context.
I would hate to take what youjust said to me out of context
if that's not what you meant.
It behooves me, and it behoovesyou, it behooves us both, to
have a conversation about whatwe mean and what we meant when
we said this, what we werefeeling.
(36:06):
Why did I say this?
Did I say this becausesomething else happened?
Is there more to the story thatI don't know yet?
I was just having aconversation with my cousin
earlier today and, had she madea certain decision without me
knowing why, I would be left tomy own imagination, and it
(36:29):
wasn't something between us.
So she didn't owe me theconversation.
She called me because shewanted to talk to me about it.
But now I know, and furthermore, I was able to speak into the
situation, I was able to offersome little wisdom that I may
have, and by the end of theconversation, she's like well,
(36:52):
you know, maybe, maybe I got towait a little bit.
Then, the decision that Ithought I was going to make,
based on the conclusion thatI've drawn, based off my own
analysis of the currentsituation I don't know anymore
Based off what you're telling me, eon, maybe it'll be smart for
(37:15):
me to hold off on the decision Ithought I was ready to make.
This is the moral compass.
Chronicles man.
This is the Moral Compass.
Chronicles man, this is theMoral Compass Chronicles, and
your analysis of the situationcannot be wrong.
Your perception is not alwaysreality.
(37:38):
You've got to try to find andfigure out the reality of the
situation, because it's thereality of the situation that
will cause you to draw theproper conclusion, which will
then allow you to make thenecessary decision that needs to
be made.
I hope this has helped somebody.
(38:00):
I hope this has helped somebody.
I hope this has helped somebody, even if it's one person.
This is the Moral CompassChronicles.
I love you Until next time.
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