Measurements, Mullets, and Monday Motivation: A Morning Radio Odyssey

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Sharks have ZERO bones? A redneck knows more shark facts than a radio DJ? Welcome to a Monday morning unlike any other on The Morning Brew!

We kick things off with Paul from Beaumont, our favorite Texas redneck, who shares his weekend adventures watching grandkids (while strategically avoiding diaper duty) and worrying about his sick Shih Tzu, Gilbert. When Paul joins our Shark Awareness Day trivia challenge, he shockingly sweeps the competition with his unexpected wealth of shark knowledge – proving that sometimes the student becomes the teacher.

The fun continues with our "Which is Longer?" contest where caller Kevin wins Thunder Raceway tickets by correctly guessing that anacondas outmeasure standard garage doors. We also check in on "Donkey Watch 2025" as an extremely pregnant rescue donkey named Haley keeps everyone in suspense, looking "like a little Goodyear blimp" according to her caretaker. Between laughs, we share exciting details about Chris Bennett's upcoming Comedy Birthday Bash featuring America's Got Talent finalist Ryan Neemiller on July 26th.

Did you know the world's longest recorded mullet measured 5'8" – way longer than a giraffe's tongue? Or that the world's largest playable guitar stretches 43 feet? We explore these bizarre measurements and more before wrapping up with Monday motivation: "Optimism is essential to achievement, and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress." Ready for your day to get better? Subscribe now and join us for more unexpected laughs and surprising facts tomorrow morning!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
From the Horn Auto Center Studios Chris Bennett and
the Morning Brew.
Yee-yee, yee-yee.
Everyone's favorite redneckfrom Beaumont, texas, it's Paul
from Beaumont.
Give us your Redneck WeekendRecap.
Well, we watched GrandkidsFriday and Saturday.
Took my first guitar lessonfrom this new guy Saturday Nice,

(00:23):
we ain't got a haircut.
Yesterday I thought I was goingto be bringing Gilbert to the
24-hour bed because he ain'tfelt good this weekend.
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Your little shih tzu.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, I think he got allergies or something.
I don't know what's going on.
Your dog that is like so not,redneck, your dog has allergies.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
I don't know.
I don't know if it's allergies.
He's sneezing.
It looked like he had the flu,or something.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
What does your dog sound like when he sneezes?
I wish we had video of it.
Well, I'm sorry Gilbert's notfeeling well, but glad you got
to spend some time with thegrandkids.
How many diapers did you changethis weekend?
Zero, zero.
I didn't even clean nobacksides.

(01:14):
I told Rhonda.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
She was still in bed.
I said, hey, get in thebathroom.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
And so Rhonda has to do all the diaper changing and
the backseat All the dirty workyeah.
All the dirty work.
I ain't doing no dirty work.
Well, paul, today is SharkAwareness Day.
How about we do a little?
Are you Smarter Than a Redneckshark?
Trivia Duh duh, duh, duh, yeah,from the Horn Auto Center

(01:42):
Studios, chris Bennett and theMorning Brew.
You know what that sound meansit's time for.
Are you Smarter Than a RedneckShark?
Trivia for Shark Awareness Day.
Paul, if you know the answer,say your name.
That's your buzzer.
Are you ready?
I'm about ready, as I'm evergoing to be.

(02:02):
All right, all these questions,the answers are going to be
numbers.
So it's closest, without goingover Price is right rules.
How many teeth does a greatwhite shark have, chris?
I'm going to say 350.
What say you At one time?
I'm going to say 50.
Closest, without going overPaul, correct answer 300 teeth

(02:26):
is how many a white shark has.
All right, here we go.
How many shark species arethere, chris?
I'm going to say 72.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
I'm going to say 100.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
I'm going to say 100.
Paul is closest, without goingover, but we're both way off.
There's 1,199 different sharkspecies, paul, wow, all right.
And last question, this one ifI get it right, it's worth a
million points.
I win.
How many bones does a sharkhave, paul?

(03:06):
Paul, zero, zero, holy moly, heswept me.
He is smarter than a radio DJwhen it comes to sharks.
Way to go, paul.
Why do you know so much aboutsharks?
Are there a lot of sharks downin the ocean over in Houston?
Yeah, oh, there are.
Yeah, we got tiger sharks.

(03:28):
We got lemon sharks.
We got sand sharks, we got.
I sound like Bubba Gump.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
You sound?

Speaker 1 (03:34):
like Bubba Gump, we got lemonhead sharks.
Yeah Well, paul, thanks forcalling in and having fun with
us today, on this Monday morning, and congratulations on being
smarter than a very handsomeradio DJ.
We'll talk to you tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
All right, buddy, y'all have a great day, you too.
Bye.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Good morning, it's the Morning Brew with Chris.
Who's this, kevin?
Kevin, are you calling to winyour choice of D-back tickets or
Thunder Raceway tickets,compliments of Comfort Fit
Dentures?
Oh, yeah, all right, all youhave to do is get three out of
five right for this game called.
Which is longer on this tapemeasure day?
Which is longer a footballfield or the world's longest

(04:17):
canoe?
Probably a football field.
Is it football field?
You are correct, football fieldis about 300 feet.
The largest canoe is only 150feet.
Which one is longer?
A great white shark or thelongest French fry ever recorded
?
Great white shark?
Heck, yeah, they're 15 to 20feet.
The longest French fry everrecorded 34 inches.

(04:38):
That's pretty long.
All right, you're one away fromwinning these tickets.
Which is longer?
A green anaconda?
You ain't want none, unless yougot buns, hon.
Or a standard garage door.
Which is longer?
Anaconda?
Anaconda, he wants some Hon.

(04:59):
Congratulations, kevin.
Three for three.
With which is longer on thistape measure day?
Which tickets you taking?
Thunder Raceway, thunderRaceway, compliments of Comfort
Fit Dentures.
You'll feel comfortable always.
What station hooked you up?
92.5.
You know it, janine, you overthere.
Yes, I am Just station hookedyou up?
92.5.
You know it, janine, you overthere yes.

(05:19):
I am Just waiting for you.
Heck, yeah man.
I have been waiting with batedbreath for Donkey Watch 2025.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
You know what?
I am getting more text messagesand I don't know what she's
doing.
My husband Clint, he says thatshe's taunting me.
Yeah, she'll like I swearshe'll look over toward the
house and she'll like, lay downand she'll roll around a little
bit, and then she stands up andthen I come out and she just
starts eating her hay and justlaughs at me.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah, I don't know no , my gosh, how long Is this her
first baby?

Speaker 2 (05:52):
No, she's had many, many.
She's older.
That's why we're watching her,because she's old and this is
her last baby.
She's a rescue donkey and we'refostering her and basically I
adore her.
She's so sweet.
She's a sweet little thing andgot her healthy.
But nobody really knows whenthe babies do and it's a little
too late for the right type ofultrasound, right.

(06:14):
So it's kind of guesses, butshe's hit all the marks and all
the stuff that you notice thatyou know she's all bagged up and
she waxed a couple of weeks ago.
But it's just, it's on her ownterms and time, of course, and
on this baby we want it to beright.
But oh my gosh, she looks likea little blimp.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Come on, haley the donkey.
Come on Haley.
Oh, maybe we should sell someadvertisement on the side of her
.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Take some bets.
She looks like a littleGoodyear blimp Exactly she does.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Well, thank you for the Donkey Watch update.
Do you want a Chris Bennett'sComedy Birthday Bash ticket
update?
Yes, yes, that's right.
Well, I'll be in New Mexicothis week headlining a comedy
show Thursday night at the endof the Mountain Gods.
But next week we are less thantwo weeks away for Chris
Bennett's Comedy Birthday Bash.
It's going to be at the ShowLow Elks Lodge on Saturday, july

(07:02):
26.
Doors, aliberto's Food Truckand the bar open up at 530.
Show starts at 7.
It is 21 and over and ourheadliner is Ryan Neemiller,
very funny headlining comedianfrom around the country,
america's.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Got Talent Top three finalists of season 14 is Ryan
Neemiller very funny headliningcomedian from around the country
, america's.
Got Talent.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Top three finalists of season 14.
Also my friend Cricket Gill,who won Funniest Person in the
Valley 2024, which I won in 2004.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Very cool, that's so cool.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
So she's come out and then we have two local guest
sets, some White MountainResidents trying comedy Bryce
Robey and Joe G and VIP ticketsare almost sold out, janine.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
It's our biggest show yet over 200 tickets and we're
over 50% sold out already.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
July 26th, so exciting, get your tickets at
chrisbennettcomedycomchrisbennettcomedycom.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
Janine, when we come back, you're going to tell me
it's an interesting holiday.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, we have an interesting holiday today.
A twofer, yeah, there we go.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
It is Monday, July 14th.
What are some fake holidaysgoing on today?

Speaker 2 (08:09):
These are funny.
It is National Nude Day,nakedness right, but National
Tape Measure Day.
Those go kind of interestinghand in hand would you say yeah,
all right.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Well, happy Tape Measure Day and happy Nude Day.
I Things that you measure.
Well, actually I have a fungame for us to play for Tape.
Measure Day it's called whichis Longer.
I'm going to give you two itemsand you have to see if you can
guess which one is the longer ofthe item you ready and it's not

(08:43):
in the mirror, like thesethings may appear.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
No, no, no.
These are real measurements.
These are real measurements,all right.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Which is longer a giraffe's tongue or the longest
recorded mullet?

Speaker 2 (08:56):
A giraffe's tongue.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
No, a giraffe's tongue is 20 inches.
The longest recorded mullet inhistory was 5'8".
Oh, my gosh, oh my gosh.
Yeah, cool, all right.
Next one which is longer, thelongest human tooth ever
extracted or the longest ingrownhair?

Speaker 2 (09:16):
ever extracted.
I'm going to go with the tooth.
Well, I'm going to go with thehair, because that's so weird.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
It is hair, there you go.
There's another gross one, yeahthree inches and the longest
human tooth ever extracted was1.46 inches.
Oh wow, all right.
Which is longer?
The world's largest playableguitar or a school bus?
School bus, no, the world'slargest playable guitar is 43

(09:45):
feet 5 foot long.
A bus is usually 35 feet andthat guitar is also over 2,000
pounds.
All right, last one, janine,let's see if you could get this
right.
Which is longer?
The world's tallest cowboy bootsculpture or Shaquille O'Neal
laying end-to-end twice?

Speaker 2 (10:06):
End-to-end twice.
I'm going to go with the cowboyboot.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
There you go, it is 35 feet and Shaquille O'Neal is
7 foot 1, so times 2, you'relooking at 24 feet, so the
world's tallest cowboy boot islonger.
There you go.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
All right, fun that was fun.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, how about we get motivated with?

Speaker 2 (10:25):
it All right, let's do it.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
All right, Janine, let's get motivated with it,
Please it's Monday, all right,here's some motivational
thoughts for you.
You tell me which one's yourfavorite.
First one's from MichaelAlstuler.
It says the bad news is timeflies.
The good news is you're thepilot.
Is that good?
It's okay.
That's okay.
Oh, not great, all right.
Nicholas Murray Butler saidoptimism is essential to

(10:48):
achievement and it's also thefoundation of courage and true
progress.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Mm-hmm, okay, no, no, no, I like it.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
You like it, it's okay.
I think people need to be moreoptimistic.
Yes, for sure.
Cheryl Sandberg said done isbetter than perfect.
Hmm, okay, it's simple.
I like that, okay.
Eleanor Roosevelt said thepurpose of life is to live it,
to taste experience to theutmost, to reach out eagerly and
without fear for newer andricher experiences.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Okay, and the?

Speaker 1 (11:17):
last one is from Anonymous Keep calm and pretend
it's not Monday.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
There you go.
There you go.
Just pretend it's not Monday,just be delusional and move
forward.
I'm going to go with number two.
I do like it.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
The positive Optimism , oh yes, so our motivational
quote for the week, optimism isessential to achievement, and it
is also the foundation ofcourage and true progress.
There we go All right.
That is our motivational quotefor the week.
Janine, thank you for havingfun with this and I hope you
have a great rest of your day.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
You have an awesome day, Chris.
Thank you.