Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
From the Horn Auto
Center Studios, chris Bennett
and the Morning Brew.
Today I am out of the studio,heading down to Yuma, arizona,
with my best friend, producerRyan McKee.
We're performing a comedy atthe Yuma Prison and Ryan is on
the phone.
And Ryan?
(00:20):
So last night you stayed atyour mom's house, that's right.
I stayed the night at myparents' so last night you
stayed at your mom's house.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I stayed the night at
my parents' house last night,
when you stay at your parents',do they still treat you like a
little boy or a teenager, likemy parents do, oh yeah, my mom
just served me breakfast in bedthis morning.
No way.
Yeah, she really spoils mewhile I'm here, is she going to
take you out shopping for somenew shoes?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I don't think there's
any good shopping in Payson.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Well, you also had a
big show earlier this week in
Wilmington.
You did a roast battle wheretwo comedians go ahead and try
and write the meanest jokesabout each other to see who
reigns victorious.
Give us a recap.
How did you do so?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I went against a kid
who was 20 years younger than me
and I was old enough to be hisdad, which is disheartening to
say the least.
And I went in there soconfident he's like a newer
comic.
I was like there's no way thiskid is going to have some great
jokes about me, you know.
(01:29):
And man, he came in with somehaymakers.
He wrote some of the best jokesabout me I've ever heard.
And he won.
I lost.
I went in too overly confident,Chris.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Do you remember any
of his jokes?
And what was the best one, ifit's radio appropriate.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I don't think any of
them are radio appropriate.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
What was the gist?
He just made fun of you beingold.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
He had one.
I'll say it in a radioappropriate way.
This is the one off the top ofmy head.
It wasn't even that funny, butit got a big reaction.
He goes Ryan looks like ashapeshifter.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
If that shapeshifter
turned into a piece of poop oh
man, yeah, uh, I don't thinkroasts are for me.
This is your second roastyou're over to.
Are you going to uh tryroasting again in your future?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I don don't think so,
man, unless, like I don't know,
I don't think roasts arebattles are for me.
I'm not, I'm just not.
Uh, I just don't write meanenough jokes or I write way too
mean jokes, like there were acouple of jokes I had where
people were like well, I'm sorryyou lost, but you and I have a
(02:44):
fun show tonight.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
When we come back,
we're going to be talking about
our show at the prison in YumaComing up.
Next we are back with Ryan, whojust lost a roast battle to a
much younger, but not more ahandsome opponent, and then
today he's performing with me ata prison in Yuma.
So I thought we'd play a littlegame called roast or toast.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
I'll read a segment.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You've got to tell me
if it was a—I'll read something
and you've got to tell me ifthat was from a roast or from a
toast.
You ready, got it.
You've always been there for me, especially when I needed
someone to take the blame.
I'm going to say toast no, thatwas a roast.
Oh, all right.
Next one I knew she was the onewhen he agreed to sit through
(03:30):
five hours of bridal Pinterestboards without complaining.
Toast, that is a toast.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
There we go.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Ryan is a toast
master.
You're the only person I knowwho can make being late feel
like a personality trait.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I'm going to say
roast that is a roast.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
May your love be
modern enough to survive the
times and old-fashioned enoughto last forever.
Toast, yep, there you go.
And last one I never thoughtI'd see the day he found someone
who could tolerate him longenough to say I do Roast, it's a
roast and a toast.
Woo, oh, curveball, curveball.
That was Roast or Toast withour friend producer Ryan.
(04:15):
All right, ryan, you and I havea comedy, well, two comedy
shows at the prison in Yuma,chris and Ryan are going to
prison.
Dun dun dun, have you picked outyour outfit yet that you're
going to wear to prison?
I'm going to wear all black,like Johnny Cash, and I think
(04:38):
I'm going to go the opposite.
I'm going to go all colors, butis that going to be okay?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Like?
Am I allowed to dress likevibrantly?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, of course.
Of course, the more vibrant thebetter.
I don't know Like the prisonersall have to wear the same gear
so they might appreciate youdressing like a fool.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah, it's going to
be an interesting experience.
We're excited for it.
Ryan, set the whole thing up.
You're hosting, we have ourfriend Lauren Rachel, who is
going to be performing on theshow with us, our friend Lamar
Mitchell Jr, who's going to beperforming with us, and, of
course, I'm on the show as well.
It's going to be a lot of funand it's crazy that I'm doing a
(05:23):
prison and then the next FridayI'm officiating my daughter's
wedding.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
That is two very
different gigs.
Yes, the opposite spectrum ofthe gigs.
I hope you don't get them mixedup.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Oh, my gosh, that
would be the worst, but it made
me think of a fun game we couldplay called Wedding Vow or
Inmate Confession.
Ooh, I love it.
I'm going to read a statement.
You got to tell me whether thatwas a wedding vow or an inmate
confession.
Here we go.
I know I made mistakes, but Ipromised I've changed.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Oh, that's a good one
.
I'm going to say inmateconfession.
Yes, it could be either, butCould be either, but I don't
think you want to bring up yourmistakes in your wedding vow.
No, yeah, that was said duringa parole hearing.
Here's the next one.
But I don't think you want tobring up your mistakes in your
wedding vows?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
No, yeah, that was
said during a parole hearing.
Here's the next one no matterwhat happens, I will always be
by your side, even if we'rebroke or behind bars.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I think that's a
wedding vow.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
It's a wedding vow at
a prison, oh wow, that's a real
curveball.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
you got me.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Okay, all right.
Next one.
It started with a little lieand ended with me hiding in the
garage for three hours.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
You got to say that's
an inmate confession.
That is an inmate confession.
That would be one of the bestwedding vows if he did it it all
started with a little liepeople are just sitting there in
the wedding party going.
Oh my gosh, what did we getourselves into here?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
all right, and our
last one.
Uh, you complete me and alsoknow where I hide the snacks.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I mean, if that's an
inmate confession, that's a
horrible inmate confession.
So I'm going to go.
Wedding vow.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
That is wedding vow.
That was wedding vow or inmateconfession From the Horn Auto
Center Studios, chris Bennettand the Morning Brew.
Janine, are you there?
Yes, I am, janine.
I was wondering if you wantedto do some relationship advice.
Yes, I'm ready.
All right, here we go.
My girlfriend makes over $300K ayear yeah, she's doing good.
(07:41):
And I make $80,000 a year.
I'm still financiallyrecovering from a recent divorce
, paying off loans, legal fees,all of it, so money's tight.
Meanwhile, she's always talkingabout investing and moving
money around, but when it comesto us, I'm the one paying for
everything on my credit card.
She suggests restaurants,movies, concerts, but never
(08:03):
offers to split the bill.
I always pay because I want tobe a gentleman, but it's getting
hard.
She invited me to a concertlast week, then told me the day
before she only bought oneticket by mistake.
I had to pay $120 last minutejust to go.
I also spent 18 hours buildinga playground in her yard.
No payment, fine, but not evendinner on her.
(08:25):
Again, I paid.
I don't want to sound like agold digger, but how do I bring
this?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
up.
I think that this one is, to me, is pretty easy.
He can be very nice and say,hey, hon, I want to sit down, we
need to have a talk, and all heneeds to do is just say, hey,
you know, I've kind of startedfollowing, like if he was to say
he follows Dave Ramsey orwhoever right, and I really want
to eliminate all my credit carddebt, I want to become fiscally
(08:51):
responsible.
So I am going to startbudgeting and if we could just,
you know, eat in, you know, makedinner.
He needs to change show, he'schanging his whole lifestyle and
say I just can't afford this, Iwant to pay off all my credit
card debt.
In other words, he's keeping iton his own side and he's saying
I want to have a savings, I wantto bring something in, but I
(09:12):
need to pay off all my creditcard debt.
I need to stop spending.
So I just want to become frugaland I'm wondering if you're
cool with that and you'll helpme do that, and she'll probably
go oh well, god, I still want togo out and do stuff.
Maybe I'll pay a little more.
You know, it's just a nicer wayif he puts it on himself and
(09:33):
says you know, I need to get ridof my credit card debt.
I need, I need to do this formyself to, you know, become
after my divorce and all thiskind of stuff puts it more on
him.
I need to do this and she'llhopefully she'll help him and
then if she wants to go out,she'll dig in, because her
making 300,000, $80,000 and himrecovering from this divorce and
expected to pay for everythingis really not fair, right, you
know?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
yeah, yeah, exactly.
And what was I going to say?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Yeah, I just think
you know putting it on himself
and saying hey, I really I needto get rid of all my credit card
debt.
I'm going to pay this off, butlet's, I want to be more.
I want to eat at home.
We're going to do fun stufftogether at home, maybe go to a
park.
In other words, not saying toher hey, will you pay for all
this?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
But this is the way I
need to behave for a while so I
can catch up after my divorceSounds good, and then if she
doesn't want to be with himafter that, then that just means
she was the gold digger.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Right, right, if
she's expecting, yeah, exactly.
If, exactly.
If she's a real tight, tight,tight wad, penny pincher, and
she doesn't like to share, heneeds to know that now, anyway,
All right, that was relationshipadvice with Janine.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
You got to have a
conversation with your
girlfriend.
Yeah, all right, awesome, janine.
Thank you so much and we hopeyou have a great day, you too,
chris, bye, bye.
It is now time for Boo or Coolwith Dave Ramsey Not the
financial guy, just our bestfriend here in Show Low, dave,
it's National Pizza Party Day.
Is that boo or cool?
Cool?
I'm going to ask you some booor cool pizza toppings and pizza
(11:00):
party behaviors and you tell meboo or cool.
First one people who eat pizzawith a fork Boo, totally boo.
Pizza with ranch dip Boo, boo,oh.
Come on, dave, you don't like.
Oh, boo, boo, boo, okay.
People who reheat pizza in themicrowave Cool.
(11:23):
What about pineapple on pizzaCool.
Oh, really, I would haveguessed you would have been
totally boo on that.
Pickles Boo.
Anchovies Boo.
What about hot Cheetos?
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Totally boo.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
And what about
mayonnaise?
Way, totally boo.
That was Boo or Cool with DaveRamsey.
Love you, best friend.
Hope you have a great day yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I love you too, enjoy
your trip.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
All right, will do
Talk to you later.
Bye, bye.