Mystic vs. Skeptic: Can Love Survive a Spiritual Awakening?

Heatherleigh and Paul take us on a wild ride through the ups and downs of their marriage as Heatherleigh experiences a profound spiritual awakening while Paul, the steadfast skeptic, keeps his feet firmly planted on the ground. Right from the start, we dive into the question of love—can it truly thrive when one partner evolves so dramatically that the other feels like they're left in the dust? With nearly 30 years of marriage under their belts, they share the raw and honest story of how Heather's awakening turned their lives upside down and left Paul grappling with his role in this new reality. We’ll hear all about the challenges they faced, from heated discussions to moments of emotional distance, and how they ultimately found a way to navigate these turbulent waters without losing their individual identities. Join us as we explore the magic of creating a new space in their relationship where love, respect, and growth can flourish, even amidst the chaos!

Navigating the wild waters of marriage when one partner undergoes a spiritual awakening can be a rollercoaster ride, and let me tell you, Heatherleigh and Paul are living proof of that! In this episode, they dive deep into their personal journey, exploring how their nearly 30-year marriage was flipped upside down after Heatherleigh's sudden spiritual transformation. From a mystical world filled with synchronicities and cosmic wisdom to the grounded reality of spreadsheets and logic, Paul, the skeptic, shares his side of the story. How do you communicate when your partner's universe has expanded into dimensions you can't even fathom? It’s a question that brings both laughter and tension to the forefront of their discussions.

The couple reflects on their initial struggles, where Heatherleigh's newfound energy and excitement clashed with Paul's desire for stability and familiarity. Imagine trying to share your spiritual revelations with someone who’d rather be biking away from the conversation—it’s a scene that plays out hilariously as Heatherleigh recounts her attempts to engage Paul, only to find him falling asleep mid-discussion! Through heartfelt honesty, they reveal the uncomfortable moments when they questioned the very foundation of their love and whether they could bridge the gap created by their divergent paths.

But fear not, because this story is not just about struggles; it’s also about growth and discovery. They discuss how they learned to respect each other's individual journeys while creating a new space in their relationship that honors both the skeptic and the mystic. By embracing their contrasting perspectives, they found a way to strengthen their bond and navigate the chaos of change in a relationship. Buckle up for an enlightening and entertaining conversation that promises to resonate with anyone who's ever felt the shift in their partnership due to personal growth or spiritual awakening!

Takeaways:

• In any relationship, individual growth can lead to shifts in dynamics that need addressing.
• Navigating differing spiritual journeys within a partnership requires honest and open dialogue.
• True love isn't about being identical; it's about celebrating contrasting perspectives together.
• Creating a shared space from diverse truths can enhance the depth of a relationship.
• Awakening can be a bumpy ride, but it offers an opportunity for deeper connection.
• Finding common ground means respecting each other's unique journeys, not forcing conformity.

Links referenced in this episode:

• heatherleighstrom.com/media
• hero.fm

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Through all this, I started towonder if it was really possible
for someone to love you ifthey really had no idea who you were
anymore. Hi, I'm Heathetleigh,the Mystic.
And I'm Paul, the Skeptic.
We've been together for almost30 years. I live in a magical world
filled with synchronicities,messages, mirrors, and cosmic wisdom.

(00:23):
I live rooted in logic,science, data, and spreadsheets.
Very tethered to visible reality.
And yet together, we make it work.
We support each other, knowingwe're on different journeys with
different perspectives and purposes.
We created this podcast tohelp you find your own middle ground,
whether you're in arelationship, a marriage, or a partnership.

(00:45):
To offer tools andconversations for navigating the
friction that can arise when awakening.
Happens at different speeds ordoesn't happen at all. We'll share
what we've discovered in ourown conscious coupling and give you
insights, practices, andclarity that have the potential.
To support your union at awhole new level of consciousness

(01:07):
and respect. Keep in mind, weare not licensed therapists.
We're just sharing ourpersonal experiences with you.
Welcome to the mystic and theSkeptic. We are your hosts. I'm Heatherleigh.
And I'm Paul.

(01:29):
And we have an excitingepisode for you today. I changed,
but he didn't. Can thismarriage survive? My awakening a
few years ago was absolutelyseismic and his was non existent.
This episode is the raw,honest story of what happens when

(01:53):
one partner evolvesdramatically and the other doesn't.
So what do you do when youhave this massive spiritual awakening?
Your whole life transformsovernight, but your partner, he just
wants to go ride his bike.
And that's not just ametaphor. That's exactly what happened

(02:16):
in our house.
Yeah. You remember what thatwas like? It was a little bit uncomfortable.
I was so excited about whatwas happening. I wanted to share
it with you so badly. And yetwhat was your response?

(02:38):
Sometimes I had no idea whatto do with it.
Yeah, he kind of looked like adeer in the headlights. We try and
have conversations and he'dliterally fall asleep.
And I remember us going for abike ride. That turned into a long
discussion.
Yeah, because I thought bikerides were a great time to have a

(03:00):
captive audience abouteverything I was learning and.
I just started to pedal faster.
Yeah. So there are some bumpyroads through this transition for
sure. So we're going to sharesome of that with you and some of
the strategies we use to findour way through it. So I was channeling

(03:21):
star beings and writing A bookand. And learning to meditate and
learning these reallyincredible healing techniques and
technologies.
And meanwhile, I was studyingmy spreadsheets and working on things
around the house.
Yeah, he pretty much just letme do what I needed to do and pretty

(03:43):
much did what he wanted to do.The same old stuff, right?
Yes. We oftentimes did our own thing.
So there was an uncomfortableperiod where we were kind of finding
our way. And I did start towonder. Actually, it didn't take
very long for me to wonderbecause I was so. It's hard to explain

(04:07):
if you haven't been through aspiritual awakening. When you go
through the process, you'rejust filled with so much energy,
so much love and expansion,and you just want to share this with
everybody because it's soamazing. You feel like you've never
felt before and you just wantto share it. And so I would try and

(04:31):
share it with my husband, andhe really wasn't that interested,
were you, honey?
Well, I felt oftentimes notthis, that you wanted to share it,
but that you wanted me to feelthe same way. So sometimes that made

(04:51):
listening hard for me becauseI felt pressure.
Yeah. And so this is one thingwe learned kind of the hard way was
where the ego kind of got inour way when we were interacting
with each other. See, the. Ouregos are designed to protect us.

(05:14):
So as I was trying to shareout of love, the ego doesn't like
to change. So Paul's ego wasreacting to that as if he were being
threatened. So there was abarrier between us for a bit until
we really had to identify thisand sort it out, wouldn't you say?

(05:38):
Yes, it definitely was, Iguess, a rocky on and off period
there for a while as welearned to adjust.
Yeah. And I think we're stillfinding that. I mean, we still have
to sit down now and then andsay. And really dissect our conversations
and kind of learn from them,because if we don't, it's really

(06:01):
easy just to fall into thathabit. Right, right.
It's really like anyrelationship where things are always
changing and you always haveto come together and reset and make
sure that you're in alignmentand moving forward together.
An open dialogue and alsototal transparency. We'll get into

(06:27):
that in a little bit. But wehad to grow a lot in order to really,
truly see each other fully.And that's kind of the magic that
we want to share with you. Butthrough all this, I started to wonder
if it was really possible forsomeone to love you if they really

(06:50):
had no idea who you wereanymore. My sudden awakening in 2022
really kind of took us bysurprise. And it literally turned
everything upside down.Suddenly I didn't want to do the
things that we had always donetogether. They were no longer a priority
for me. They weren't asimportant to me as they used to be.

(07:16):
And that changed a lot for us,didn't it? We used to do a lot of
things together.
Yes. A lot of our relationshipwas around outdoor activities, mountain
biking, camping together,hiking. And this threw a whole new
dynamic into the mix.
Yeah. So the dynamic of ourmarriage, and it's been 25 years

(07:36):
now, it had to shift. Itreally had to change, almost spin
and pivot on the spot in orderfor us to keep up with everything
that was changing. I mean, Iwent from a 30 year medical career
to a career as a psychicprofessional nearly overnight. I

(08:01):
mean, that was shocking forme. I can only imagine how shocking
it was for everybody else whonever saw that coming.
And I've been an engineer mywhole career. I like things that
I can measure and look at andstudy. I don't deal well with fast
changes and things that happenquickly. So this was all a little

(08:21):
bit terrifying for me and leftme wondering, am I going to be enough
for Heatherleigh? Am I goingto be able to make her happy? And
if I. I can't see things theway she does, will she leave me?
So it was rough for a while.We had some really heated conversations.

(08:43):
Some ultimatums were tossedaround that. That sneaky ego. And
some of these conversationsresulted in us not speaking for a
few days. It was veryuncomfortable, not pretty, very scary.
I started to consider whetherthis marriage could really work for

(09:04):
me anymore. And I'm sure Paulmight have had some of the same thoughts
I did.
Oftentimes I felt pressured tochange into someone I'm not in order
to make Heatherleigh happy
So an emotional separationbegan to develop between us that

(09:27):
wasn't comfortable. And thiswas fueled by my new, very exciting
self realization, accompaniedby a very rough, uncomfortable ego
struggle between the two ofus. And after many, many, many. I

(09:48):
mean, some of these were fourhours long. But after many marathon
discussions and some soulsearching on both of our parts.

(10:52):
We chose to be honest aboutour individuality instead of fighting
for conformity. Oftentimesit's easy to try to say the thing
that will make your partnerhappy, even if it's not true. And
that's what we avoided doing.We spoke the honest truth, even when
it hurt. And through this wediscovered, almost by accident, that

(11:18):
this is where the realconnection began to happen for us.
And ultimately, Paul did notconform. He remained his own sovereign
being.
Instead, I learned tocelebrate Heatherleigh's joy and
to be more open to what Icouldn't understand, even if I still

(11:45):
wonder if it's real.
At any rate, it took us awhile, and it also took me a while
because I finally had torealize it's not about us agreeing
on the same thing. It's aboutalignment through our actual contrast.

(12:12):
You see, what we learned isthat love isn't about being the same.
It's not even aboutcompromise. It's about creating something
new together.
Creating something with thecontrasting pieces of each of us

(12:32):
coming together as a whole.
And that's the soul space thatneither one of us could have created
alone.
That's the exciting part ofwhat we've learned through this journey.
We realized that it's notactually about dragging your partner

(12:52):
up your mountain.
It's about inviting them into.Into the space in between where a
new consciousness is born.
And listen to Paul talk aboutconsciousness now. I think he might
have learned a thing or two,but that was really pivotal for us
because we realized that wehad come into a space together that

(13:15):
didn't exist before. Sothrough this journey that got really
rough and ugly for a while, weactually realized that we had created
a third piece of ourselvesthat was now the new conjoined version
of us that wasn't therebefore. We still maintained our own

(13:37):
individual sovereignty. Paulwas on this side, I was on this side.
And there was a new middle nowthat represented this new piece of
us that was coming together.Even though we represented separate
polarities, there was still apiece of us that could come together
and be joined in the middle.That was beautiful to me.

(14:03):
Yes, I guess it was worth allthe effort.
You guess it was worth all theeffort. So, I mean, even though Paul
is left brained, being theengineer that he is, and he is stuck,
stubborn, he's also still verywilling. More willing, I would say,

(14:25):
than most husbands, probably.In this scenario, would you say Paul.
Definitely made the effort tostep outside of my comfort zone?
Yeah. I mean, and it's notlike I didn't get uncomfortable through
my own transformation. Ididn't know where I was going. I

(14:48):
didn't know what it was goingto look like or feel like or where
I was going to end up. So inorder for both of us to grow, we
had to each be willing to stepinto that. That space of discomfort,
of feeling, like, completelyout of control. And you're not. You
don't know what's going tohappen next. You have to trust. Right.

(15:12):
Wouldn't you see that? Saythat that's our foundation, Paul.
Yes. We've always given eachother room to do our own thing and
yet come together in themiddle. And this takes that to a
whole new level because it'snot just about we have having a different
hobby or job. You know, thisis something that's bigger and therefore

(15:35):
more important and more meaningful.
Yeah. I feel like we've justreally grown as a couple. Even though
we're not, like, doing thesame things, there's still some things
we do together. I mean, westill mountain bike together and,
and go on e bike rides in townand stuff. It's just a different

(15:56):
focus for me. It's not my. Idon't live my whole life around my
bicycle now like I used to.But, you know, we just had to shift.
We had to evolve. The marriagehad to evolve into something new,
and it did. And that's whatallowed us to make the shift together.

(16:16):
Now we don't know where thisis going, Dewey.
It's always changing, always evolving.
It's always changing. And sowe always have to evaluate, and we're.
We're brutally honest witheach other. Is this working for us
individually? We always checkin. Is this still working? You know,
if one of us says no, then wehave to sit down and evaluate. So

(16:40):
we stopped trying to be the.
Same and we stopped trying to change.
Each other, and we started tocreate that third piece of us, that
third partner that holds bothof our truths without collapsing
either one of them.
And that's where the realpartnership began.

(17:00):
Yeah, that was liberating whenwe figured that out. So if you find
yourself in this kind ofsituation in your relationship with
your partner, we want to offeryou support based on our own experience
with.
This podcast, we will alsoinclude a private solutions segment

(17:22):
where we will share a fewstrategies on things that actually
worked for us.
Now, we are not licensedtherapists, but sometimes just by
hearing what worked forsomeone else who's been down this
road that you're currentlytraversing can give you just the

(17:44):
right spark, maybe give youmotivation or some ideas of how it
can work, or even a new way ofmoving forward.
If that sounds helpful, headover to our private segment for the
show on the Hero FM app.You'll find the link in the episode's

(18:05):
description, or you can go toheatherleighstrom.com/media to register.
You can join us for free andbecome part of the conversation.
We'd love to hear from you,your questions, your experiences,
or even topics that you'd likefor us to cover in the future. So

(18:27):
come join us in the Hero appfor the rest of the conversation.
And next time, we'll dive intowhat happens after the awakening
when your growth feels like athreat, your partner starts to pull
away, or you suddenly feellike strangers.
We'll cover the identitycrisis that can unfold and how to

(18:50):
protect the emotional safetyof your union through it all. Thank
you for listening to themystic and the skeptic. We're your
host, Heatherleigh.
And Paul, until next time,stay curious.

(19:10):
Stay conscious, stayconnected. Love you.