Our Relationship Reset: How Self-Awareness Healed What History Couldn’t (Part One)

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_03 (00:03):
What if the thing holding you back in your
relationships isn't what you sayor do, but how you're wired to
show up?
And what if you discovered apersonal owner's manual that
could change everything?
In this episode, we're back withMarcus, not as my brother-in-law
and Kelly's husband, but as ourcoach and mentor to explore what
happens when you bringself-awareness and honesty into

(00:24):
the heart of family disconnect.

SPEAKER_04 (00:26):
In this two-part series, we're pulling back the
curtain on conversations thatwill change the way you see
yourself and those around you.
Together, we're diving into thepowerful tool that helps us
discover ourselves and eachother to reset our relationship
as sisters.
We laugh, cry, and explorecommunication and conflict with
compassion and curiosity.

(00:47):
Because real growth doesn'thappen when we get perfect.

SPEAKER_03 (00:50):
It happens when we get real.
So whether you're navigatingfamily dynamics, marriage,
parenting, or simply trying tounderstand yourself better, grab
a journal and prepare forinsights and moments of, oh wow,
that's me.
This is a journey you don't wantto miss.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05):
Welcome to the PIG, where we share inspirational
stories through realconversations with real people,
where Kelly and Erin, sisters,best friends, sometimes colour
opposites, but always deeplyconnected by the life and love
of our mother Marsha, the onewho taught us that the greatest
lessons we have to teach othersare the very ones we must also

(01:25):
learn ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 (01:32):
Welcome back, everyone.
Today's episode is a little outof the norm and one of the most
meaningful we've ever recordedbecause of what it's meant to
and for our relationship.
If you've been with us for awhile, you already know Marcus,
my brother-in-law, Kelly'spartner in life, and a
world-class coach and mentorwho's been walking alongside me
and Kelly for nearly 16 years,but especially over this past

(01:56):
year of our healing andreconnection.
Marcus, you haven't justsupported us.
You've been instrumental inhelping us find our way back to
each other.
But today, you're here as ourcoach.

SPEAKER_04 (02:08):
And over the next two episodes, we're doing
something raw, real, andcompletely unscripted.
We're taking a live deep diveinto our relationship comparison
report built from the assessmentwork we've been doing together.
In this first part, we'repulling back the curtain on our
disc profiles and sharing whatit really looks like to use

(02:31):
these tools to understand who weare, how we're wired, how we
communicate, and how the two ofus were finally able to rebuild
an authentic relationship andconnection after years of
misunderstanding, after sweepingall the crumbs of our
relationship under the rugbecause we were too afraid that

(02:52):
lifting it up and lookingunderneath might drive us even
farther apart.
This episode will be longer thanmost, but we know it will be
filled with honesty, laughter,vulnerability, and probably a
few moments that sound a littletoo familiar to our listeners
because this type of worktouches every relationship, both

(03:12):
personal and professional.
And it also changes how we lookat ourselves in the mirror.
It's also the first time we'resharing the release of something
brand new, the PIG RelationshipReset, a guided experience
designed to help others and thepeople they love move from
reaction to real lastingconnection through live coaching

(03:37):
with you.

SPEAKER_03 (03:38):
So, Marcus, welcome back to the PIG.
We're turning the mic over toyou so we can jump right into
these assessment tools andexplore what's possible when we
invest in truly understandingourselves and take the time to
really begin understanding eachother.

SPEAKER_00 (03:55):
Well, it's my pleasure to be back with the two
of you.
You know, I've the show is justuh podcast is really doing
wonderfully well.
It's what what guests you've hadon, you know, what areas you
have traveled with these peopleand their lives and the the
joys, the ups, the downs, theall-arounds.
My goodness, what a show you'veput on.
And you know, every time I getto be on with you guys, it's so
much fun.

(04:16):
Just to just to interact withyou, do anything we can to help
the people in the world who aretuning in and taking part in the
PIG.
And today's no different, youknow.
Today we're going to talk aboutyou two, your relationship that
really has ignited once againthrough this whole entire
project.
You guys have spoken about thismultiple times on multiple
episodes, about how, you know,really what your mother gave you

(04:38):
wasn't the boxes so much as itwas each other and the
rediscovering of each other andyour relationship and what it
means and what it can be for yougoing forward.
And to be able to sit with youtoday, to talk about the
similarities, the differences,to expose you even deeper to who
you are individually andcollectively is a very exciting
prospect on my end.
So I'm I'm happy to be here andI'm happy to be working with the

(05:00):
two of you today.
And as we start out, I thinkwhat I'd like to do is just
really let the listeners knowwe're gonna be really focusing
on two different kinds ofassessments today.
One is called a disk assessment.
All disk assessments are notequal.
There are good ones and thereare not good ones.
We are working with a very goodone, by the way.
And what we're gonna be doing iswe're talking about behavioral

(05:20):
tendencies here.
So we measure four differentaspects of a human being, and we
are really looking at what aretheir tendencies based upon what
their scores are and how theylisten, how they behave, how
they perform work, how theyadapt themselves to their work
environment, to differentrelationships, etc.
We're also gonna be talkingabout driving forces.
Now, driving forces is anassessment that measures your

(05:42):
values.
What do you value most out of atotal of 12 different
assessments?
There are primary driving forcesthat really move you into
action, that cause you to makethe decisions that you do.
Um, they're really like abreaker box on the side of your
house.
The breakers are always on, thepower is always flowing through
those primary driving forces.
There are situational drivingforces, meaning that in certain

(06:05):
situations they'll click on,certain situations they'll click
off.
And then there's in differentdriving forces in which the
power really never flows throughthose for you, but they may for
another person and they may foryour sister.
And so being able to understandwhat is it that drives us, what
is it that leads our behavior?
What is it that drives usforward to do what we do in our
lives and in our work?
And that's really what we'regoing to be talking about today.

(06:27):
So I guess what we should do iswe would just say, Aaron, let me
just ask you this.
When you took this assessmentoriginally, what kind of an
experience did you have?

SPEAKER_03 (06:36):
Oh, I had an incredibly insightful.
There were aspects of it thatwere even overwhelming
experience, but all in a goodway.
It was so incredible for me toactually put some verbiage to
who I am and how I operate inthis world instead of just

(06:59):
trying to figure it out, but toactually then have some some
words that describe me that toldme who I am and how I operate.
And it was just incrediblyinsightful.
And so then having thatinformation then for Kelly to
have, for you to have, for Jasonto have, to understand who I am

(07:23):
and what makes me tick and how Irespond and so many of my
behavioral things is incredible.
But more so than that for me wasto have a deeper understanding
of myself for myself.

SPEAKER_00 (07:37):
Very nice.
Very nice.
Kelly, you've been involved withthese assessments for quite some
time now, and you've had yourown outside of any work with me,
and then your own with uh sincewe've been married.
So, you know, what's your what'syour feeling about these
assessments?
What's it, what's it yourexperience been?

SPEAKER_04 (07:54):
Oh, I have such an incredible passion for the
information that's contained inblack and white and color on
these pages, and how echoingwhat Aaron said, the words that
jump off the page that you canidentify with, and even the
words that you can't identifywith, that you can work with

(08:15):
somebody like yourself to say,what does that really mean?
You know, how do I process that?
How do I integrate that?
So often, you know, especially Ithink as human beings, we
associate meaning with certainwords.
And one of the things that I'vefound through this process is
that it that has expanded myunderstanding of what different

(08:38):
words actually mean, and thatthey mean something different to
different people from differentperspectives and also based on
lived experiences.
And so, yes, it's been about 25years now since I took my very
first disc assessment and havecontinued to utilize this
information through the years.

(08:59):
I'm also amazed at how when yougo through critical life
experiences, which is somethingwe talk about a lot on the PIG,
loss, trauma, disease, illness,all kinds of things, that can
actually change not only yourbehavioral style, but also your
value systems and your valuesets.

(09:20):
And so being able to revisitthis continually through the
years has been very powerful.
I will also speak to the fact,outside of just Erin and I and
the reconnection and thebeautiful experiences we've had
that have come through thiswork, that you and I use these

(09:40):
as functional tools in our everyday-to-day life and living.
It is part of our communication,it's part of our vocabulary,
part of our relationship withour children already with our
young grandchild.
And so I find these assessmentsto be the owner's manual that I
think every human being shouldhave for themselves.

(10:00):
And that's what I love aboutthem so much.

SPEAKER_00 (10:03):
They are quite powerful.
And you know, it's it's such awonderful thing to be able to
have this snapshot right now,right?
So, like you said, things changein our life, both positive and
negative.
And in the PIG, we cover a lotof territory where people have
really had to overcome a lot ofchallenges.
You guys have had to overcome alot of challenges.
You also speak to some of thegreat times in your life, some
of the great aspects of yourrelationship.

(10:25):
These things re-mold us too andcan actually cause our disk and
driving forces to recalibrateover the years.
Mine have done so as well.
So, as we start out here, Ithink let's just start with disk
a little bit.
I think what I'd like to do is Iwould just like to be able to um
have everybody maybe when theylisten to this, look at page
four.
This is where we're going tostart in the comparison report

(10:47):
is page four, where we'reactually taking and we're
comparing Aaron and Kelly sideby side in their disk.
And I just want to talk a littlebit about what we're seeing
here.
So basically, disk is afour-aspect assessment in which
we're measuring how do you solveproblems and challenges, how do
you influence other people, whatis your pace and your

(11:07):
consistency, and how attentiveto you are you to details,
rules, policies, procedures?
How conscientious and compliantare you, in other words?
So we call those D I S and C fordriver, influencer, steady, and
conscientious or compliant.
D I S C driver, steady,influencer, steady, confident,

(11:30):
conscientious and compliant.
When we look at your guys' graphright out of the gate, we see
that there's some similaritiesand some differences.
You know, at the 50-point mark,that that dark gray mark at the
middle of the assessment, we cansee that both of you cross over
that with your influencer andwith your steady, that part of
you that really loves otherpeople, that loves

(11:51):
relationships, that isrelationship and people-oriented
first is what stands tall inyour graph.
And what is down below theenergy line, that 50-point mark,
is your driver and yourconscientious compliant, that
task-oriented part of you.
So, right off the gate, we knowthat the two of you are
people-oriented,relationship-oriented.

(12:12):
You guys are influencers firstand foremost.
And you also have the steadycomponent inside of you, this
other part of you that's verysupportive of other people,
consistent pace, um, not superbig on a lot of change unless
you understand what the changeis or it's meaningful change.
And then we see down below theline that that driver, that
decider, that aggressive,dominant, competitive part of

(12:33):
you is lower, and thatdetail-oriented, conscious,
compliant part of yourself islower.
But there's benefits to thosetoo.
So no matter which side you are,high or low above that line,
there are positives andnegatives depending on how aware
we are and how we regulate thetendencies in those aspects of
ourselves.
Right out of the gate, we cansee that Aaron, you stand very

(12:54):
tall with your eye at a 90, uh86.
Naturally, that's who you are athome with Jason and the boys.
And you jump that up to a 92when you go to work.
So when you go out into theworld and you have to do what
you do for a living, you'rejumping that eye up, you're
lifting it by about six points.
Not significant, but enough tosay that you are lifting that

(13:14):
up.
So you become even moreinteractive when you go to work.
And your steadiness, thatconsistent part of you, that
pace, the pace that you carry isslower at home than it is at
work by six points again.
So at home, you're an 88S andyou're an 82s at work.
So you're actually picking upyour pace a little bit more in
order to keep pace with the flowof work that you're likely

(13:37):
experiencing at work.
So you don't fall behind.
And when you go back home, youcan relax, shake it out, and
just fall back into your naturalstyle at 88 and relax with Jason
and the boys.

SPEAKER_03 (13:46):
That sounds extremely accurate.
Nailed it.

SPEAKER_00 (13:53):
And Kelly, when we look at you, your eye stands
very tall above the energy line.
You know, you come in at a 94 athome, a 92 when you do your
business.
So, pretty much two points, notmuch of a difference there.
You're just very much aninfluencer, a promoter.
You really like to connectpeople, interact with people,
and work with people on anongoing basis.

(14:13):
You love you light up whensomebody calls you or sends you
a text message because you getto interact with them with Lily
calls or whatever.
It's fun to watch that.
And Aaron, I know you do thesame thing because of the score
that you have and the personthat you are.
And then Kelly, your pace isfaster than your sister's.
So this is a little, this is onearea where they align and where
they don't quite align.

(14:34):
So they both are high I'salignment.
They both are high S's, butAaron's S is so much higher than
Kelly's at 88 naturally, Kelly'sbeing 60 naturally.
That's 26 point difference.
Very close to the energy linefor Kelly, far above it for
Aaron.
That means that Aaron is morechange resistant than Kelly is,

(14:55):
in all likelihood.
It also means that Kelly movesat a faster pace than Aaron.
She processes faster, walksfaster, moves faster, talks
faster, works faster.
It's just faster.
So I would imagine, and you guyscan share with your listeners
right here.
Are there times where sometimesyou feel like it's tough to keep
up with pace, Aaron?
Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (15:16):
Like every day.
Giddy up, sister.
Let's go.
I'm like, man, stop rushing me.

SPEAKER_00 (15:28):
So well put, so well put.
I mean, that's exactly what atypical high IS thinks.
Stop pushing me, stop rushingme, stop pushing me.
And and so this is an area whereyou two have had to work
together and can continue towork together in order to
equalize that out.
Because sometimes maybe Erinneeds to pick up the pace a
little bit.
Sometimes Kelly can take herfoot off the gas pedal and slow

(15:49):
the pace down a little bit.
And really, what the objectiveis is when there's a difference
between two people and theirbehavioral style, is to find a
way to bridge the gap, to walktowards each other, to move
towards each other in your styleand to see where can we meet
somewhere in the middle?
Not an exact point, not exactly50-50, but where can you meet
somewhere in the middle?

(16:09):
And whenever we do that, itworks better.
Have you guys noticed that asyou have worked on this in your
relationship and your worktogether, that this has actually
gotten easier and better becauseyou've talked about it and
you've intentionally worked onthis difference within
yourselves?

SPEAKER_03 (16:24):
Oh, yeah, 100% for me.
And I think again, going back towhat we were talking about
before with your first question,was simply drawing awareness to
it and knowing that that's whatour differences are.
And it's not just Kelly beingthe bossy older sister
necessarily.

(16:44):
But I would I would say that Ithink that working with you and
having knowledge of theseassessments is part of what's
allowed us to get to this pointin our relationship, and not
just personally, but thenprofessionally and working on
this podcast because we'veworked together in the past
before, as you know, but therewas so much disconnect and

(17:08):
knocking of heads and certainthings because I just didn't
understand myself and I didn'tunderstand Kelly the way that I
do now.
And so I was resistant to somuch of that.
Whereas now having the knowledgeand understanding that I do, I'm
able to see it for what it isand have a deeper understanding

(17:32):
of it.
And it allows me that time tojust take a deep breath and
understand, or even think aboutokay, based on what I know about
my sister and who she is and howshe operates in this world, she
probably didn't mean to hurt myfeelings, or she probably didn't
necessarily mean this, that, orthe other thing that way.

(17:53):
And so it's just a really, Ijust cannot emphasize enough how
powerful these assessments arein just learning so much about
each other, but how deeply ithas impacted this phase of our
lives and being able to do thiswork together in such a profound

(18:14):
way, we wouldn't have had, Idon't think, the ability to work
quite the way that we do nowbefore really understanding each
other on a deeper level the waythat we do.

SPEAKER_00 (18:28):
That's exactly what we're hoping for with these
assessments.
And when you work with them, isthat instead of taking another
person's behavioral style, whichis different than yours
personally, it's understandingit and knowing, well, that's
probably why my sister did that.
So I can just talk to her aboutthat and we can work through
that together, as opposed to,like you said, being hurt by it
or taking it personally.
That's one of the things we wantto do with this kind of

(18:49):
information is clear the playingfield so that people can have
better relationships withouttheir old assumptions, their old
biases in the mix.
Here's what it really is,everybody.
Now let's play.

SPEAKER_04 (19:00):
Yeah.
How about you, Kelly?
For me, it's the clarity, right?
Which is what you just describedso eloquently.
And taking that clarity and thenknowing how to either modify my
own behavior to meet yourbehavioral style or somebody
else's, or to speak yourbehavioral language instead of

(19:23):
mine.
That takes time and practice.
Um, and it takes utilizing andseeing these assessments as
functional tools.
Marcus and I talk a lot aboutthat.
And I really hope he'll sharethe importance of that as we go.
But I unequivocally believe thatgoing through this assessment

(19:45):
work with you today, because wehave done this assessment work
together in years past indifferent businesses, but we
have never had it brought tolight and turned it into that
true tool like Marcus has helpedus do.

(20:06):
And because of that, it hasallowed us to bridge gaps that
before I think that we, as we'vetalked about in other episodes,
we would have misunderstandingsor misinterpret or
miscommunicate.
We'd have hurt feelings.
And instead of hitting it headon, because we had the language

(20:27):
and the tools and the abilityand the respect for one another
to do that, we would just sweepit under the rug.
And then we'd have all thesecrumbs underneath the rug that
at some point would all, youknow, the rug would get lifted
up and oh shit, we gotta, youknow, deal with all of those
crumbs.
But the assessments have allowedus to really approach each other

(20:48):
in ways that I think just are sobeautiful.
I want this for every set ofsiblings, every family
relationship ever.
I think everybody needs to dothis because it's just so
powerful.

SPEAKER_03 (21:01):
I agree completely.

SPEAKER_00 (21:03):
Certainly a lot of potential here.
People are open to it andwilling to put in the work, you
know.
And it's not that hard, right?
You just have to be willing totalk and explore yourself and be
open and honest and vulnerable,and then just work to use what
you've learned to turn it intothat functional tool that
Kelly's talking about, where youtake this information that's in
words and in graphs and incolors, and you take it and you

(21:24):
internalize it and you make it apart of your makeup, how you
live your life every day withthis knowledge of yourself, with
this knowledge of others, sothat then it actually helps you.
It's just another thing that youhave as a human being to help
you navigate life,relationships, and business in
the very best way that you can.
It's a more of a roadmap thanyou had before.

SPEAKER_04 (21:44):
Would it be fun for us to read these behavioral
characteristics?

SPEAKER_00 (21:48):
Oh, it really would.
I think that I'd love to haveKelly read Aaron's and Aaron to
read Kelly's, because I thinkthere's a lot here, you know,
because Kelly, you lead withyour I naturally and adaptively.
Aaron, you lead with your Snaturally and you lead with your
I adaptively.
So you switch.
So we're gonna get to hearAaron's S and Kelly's I.

(22:08):
And this is where they aredifferent, and this is what we
want to understand about them.
So, yes, please, one of you readthe others' information for
everybody listening.

SPEAKER_03 (22:17):
You want me to start?
Go first, little sister.
Okay, perfect.
Kelly is good at fosteringenthusiasm in others.
She believes in getting resultsthrough other people, she
prefers the team approach, shetries to influence others
through a personal relationshipand many times will perform
services to develop thisrelationship.

(22:40):
She is approachable,affectionate, and understanding.
Kelly projects a self-assuredand self-confident image.
She places her focus on people.
To her, strangers are justfriends she hasn't met.
She likes quality socialrelationships.
She often will become friendswith her customers or clients.
She can be obliging andaccommodating.

(23:02):
That is, she likes to work withpeople and help them.
Kelly is most likely to be ather best in situations where
important things such as values,judgments, feelings, and
emotions are involved.
She prides herself on herintuition.
She is optimistic and usuallyhas a positive sense of humor.

SPEAKER_00 (23:22):
Well done.
Now now, Kelly, first andforemost, does that sound like
you to you?

SPEAKER_04 (23:26):
Oh, a thousand percent.

SPEAKER_00 (23:28):
Erin, does that sound like your sister?

SPEAKER_04 (23:31):
It does.

SPEAKER_00 (23:31):
I know, right?
I think it's I don't I couldn'tpick up one thing in there
looking at that that I said,well, I just don't think that's
true about her.
All of those tendencies areabsolutely in her every single
day.

SPEAKER_04 (23:43):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (23:43):
Well done.

SPEAKER_04 (23:44):
I completely concur.

SPEAKER_00 (23:47):
All right, Kelly, you want to read Erin's?

SPEAKER_04 (23:49):
Absolutely.
Erin is family-oriented, she maygo to great lengths to ensure
the happiness of her personaland work family.
When the time is right, Erin canstand up aggressively for what
she believes.
She requires many good reasonsas well as the benefits involved
before agreeing to make changes.

(24:11):
When people are involved, shemay not always be precise about
the use of her time.
Erin wins through hard work andpersistence.
She likes to focus on one taskuntil it is completed.
She doesn't resist change asmuch as she resists being
changed.
She needs to be an activeparticipant in situations that

(24:33):
will impact her work.
She likes to win throughpersistence.
She uses her strong, steadytendencies to accomplish her
goals.
She wants to be seen as aresponsible person and will
avoid behavior that could beseen by others as irresponsible.
Erin looks to people for supportand inner satisfaction as a way

(24:53):
to reach her personal goals.
At times, Erin would like toslow the world down and cut out
some of the activities peoplewant her involved in.

SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Erin, does that sound like theperson you know yourself to be?

SPEAKER_04 (25:08):
Nailed it.
Yes, it does.

SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
Kelly, is that your sister?

SPEAKER_04 (25:13):
It really is.
There's so many beautiful thingsin there that are unequivocally,
Aaron.

SPEAKER_00 (25:20):
Yeah, I agree.
And it's you know so interestingbecause you know, Aaron has her
S, her I and her S so closetogether, 88, 86.
And yet this is what came out,you know, even with all that I
in there, like you have, Kelly,and that little bit of S that
you have, so different.
You guys lead with yourbehavioral style so very
differently.

(25:40):
And this is what is reallywonderful about this, because
you guys can counterbalance eachother in your behavioral style,
and you can also build thosebridges and connect somewhere in
the middle towards each otherand overcome any differences you
have.
You really have every toolavailable to you right now in
form of your behavior toactually be able to bridge any
gaps and really have a verysmooth, pleasant, wonderful

(26:02):
relationship because you're bothvery wonderful people.

SPEAKER_04 (26:05):
I think one of the things that really jumped out to
me, Marcus, in this, if I canspeak to a couple things real
quick.
Absolutely.
Even as I was just reading this,even though I know this about
Erin, it's this is why keepingthese at the forefront and
revisiting them often, I leavemine on my desk, but having each
other's in a place where we cango back and revisit them is so

(26:28):
important.
Because as I was reading that,um, I went to the line where it
says, Oh, she likes to focus onone task until it is completed.
And I have a tendency to throwfive, eight, twelve tasks out at

(26:49):
Erin that need to get donebecause they're looming in my
head and my brain as tasks thatneed to get done.
And I know we're gonna get tothe task-oriented part of both
of us in a bit, but that's areally good reminder to me to be
more aware of just focusing onthe main thing and keeping the

(27:10):
main thing the main thing.
Let's get the main thing done sowe can move on to the other 12
main things that I haveprioritized in my head.

SPEAKER_00 (27:19):
That's a really good point.
It's also an opportunity forErin to be able to say, hey,
sis, can we just focus on themost important thing right now?
And then she, you guys canprioritize that together.
There's that crossing, buildingthat bridge to connect somewhere
in the middle.
And you guys figure out, okay,what's the top priority?
Let's do that one, then the nextone, then the next one.
And eventually you're gonna getthem all.
You're right.
You're exactly right,sweetheart.

SPEAKER_03 (27:39):
Yeah, that's awesome.
I that one jumped out at me aswell.
Um, I have known this aboutmyself now fairly recently, but
I think that it is kind of thiscommon misconception, I think,
that especially as a woman,people tend to kind of make this

(28:00):
generalized statement orassumption that women are better
multitaskers than men.
That's something that I've heardin my life.
So I've always felt like I hadto fall into that category.
I was falling short if I wasn'tgood at multitasking, when the
reality is I'm just not a goodmultitasker.

(28:22):
And now that I know that aboutmyself, I'm like, yeah, I'm not
a good multitasker.
I can just own it and andunderstand about myself that I
do like to focus on one thinguntil it's completed and then I
will move on to the next task.
And if I'm given the ability todo that, I'm actually more

(28:43):
productive and I do get moredone if I can just focus on one
thing and get it knocked out,and then focus on another thing
and get it knocked out.
And I'm like that at home, I'mlike that at work, and I'm
certainly like that in tasksrelated to the production and
promotion of this podcast.

SPEAKER_04 (29:01):
And I I also recognize it and appreciate it
because we know that contextswitching, which is adding
multiple tasks to one's plate,not only decreases your IQ, but
also your brain power to getanything done.
And so it's actually something,Erin, that I really admire about

(29:22):
you and I am constantly tryingto work on in myself.
And so just reading this todayside by side, revisiting it
again, just brought that to theforefront for me.
Number one, something that I cando to meet you behaviorally
where you're at, and somethingthat I can continue to work on
in myself.

(29:43):
And if we both work on ittogether, we just become more
powerful, more successful, moreconfident, more assured.
Um, it it's just a really greatthing.
So thank you for letting me usethat as an example, of course.

SPEAKER_00 (29:58):
And what a liberating insight! Right, to
think that you should, Aaron,should be a good multitasker.
When in fact, like Kelly'ssaying, really most people
aren't very good multitaskers.
There's a few people in theworld that are pretty good at
it, but the vast majority of us,we are not good at it.
And it breaks us down over time.
So for you to give yourselfpermission, hey, if there are
instances where I kind of haveto juggle a couple balls here

(30:21):
and there, okay, but that's nothow I want to live my life.
That's counter to who I am,that's counter to my strengths,
and that takes away from who Iam and limits me as a person,
could even hurt me over timethrough stress and overwhelm.
That's a pretty liberatinginsight.

SPEAKER_03 (30:34):
Yeah, that sure is.
Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 (31:22):
Remember, anything that's above the energy line,
the 50-point mark is high.
Anything that's below is low.
That doesn't mean good or bad.
It's just a demarcation we useto talk about the tendencies in
this dimension.
And the first thing that standsout there is that we see that
there's a big difference betweenthe driver or dominant, the D in
the disc, between the two ofyou.

(31:43):
Aaron, you are a 14 D at homeand a seven at work.
So you're a low D at home, verycautious, not somebody who does
not like to make decisions.
And if you do, they are cautiousdecisions.
You're not, it's not anaggressive thing for you.
It's very much more cautious andpassive, if you will.
When you go to work, it doublesthat.
It gets to seven, right?

(32:04):
So it's much more passive.
And then Kelly, at home, you'rea 42 just below the energy line,
and you're a 38 when you go intoyour working environment.
So we can see that even thoughyour D is not above the energy
line, it's not a high behavioralmark.
It still is much more powerfulthan Aaron's.
And so when we look at yourgraphs and we take the I that is

(32:25):
so similar between the two ofyou, and then we take the S,
which changes, Kelly's is lower,Aaron's is higher, and then we
go down below the energy line totask and we pick up the D,
Kelly's D is higher, and Aaron'sis lower.
So D's move at a very fast pace.
The lower the S, the faster thepace.
So when we talked about paceearlier, look at how this gets

(32:46):
even more complex and helps tounderstand, helps us to
understand even more.
Kelly's pace is much faster thanyours, Aaron, because her S is
lower and her D is higher.
What we're trying to do is we'retrying to show you that other
dimensions that are below theline really come into effect,
the dimensions that are aboveand create a bigger, more
comprehensive picture for us.
If we go over to the C, you guyshave a lot more in common here.

(33:08):
Aaron, you are a 28 naturally.
Kelly, you're an 18.
And Kelly, you're an eightnaturally and adaptive.
You and I are both down there inthe sub-10 category.
I think I'm an eight naturallyand a six adaptively.
And basically, what this meansis both of you can be outside
the box thinkers.
Aaron has a little bit moreattention to detail in some
things.
Although remember, thesetendencies can be overridden

(33:31):
over time.
So sometimes we learn that it'sbetter to be a little more
organized, even though we don'tshow up that way on a report.
And we're managing, we'reregulating that negative
tendency that we have there.
And so with this one, you guysdon't aren't very super
different on your C or your I,but your D and your S, you are.
And that's really where thebiggest plays come in between
the two of you from theperspective that I have of your

(33:53):
assessment.
Would you guys agree?

SPEAKER_03 (33:55):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (33:57):
Pace, aggressiveness, uh risk taking,
things like that, you know.

SPEAKER_04 (34:01):
What are some examples, Marcus, as you look at
the two of us as sisters, thatyou where you see that playing
out in our relationship?

SPEAKER_00 (34:11):
Well, as you're currently built, um, I think
it's fair to say that Kelly,you've pretty much been a more
of an entrepreneur your wholelife.
You know, you've kind of jumpedout there, you've done
entrepreneurial things, you'vetaken on entrepreneurial aspects
of your life, jumped into newdifferent business opportunities
and ideas.
And Erin's kind of followed someof that.
So she's followed along withsome of those things.

(34:32):
You've been more willing to sortof spearhead it and lead the
charge, take the risk.
And she said, Yeah, I'll goalong with you.
That's more of that S that'sgoing along with the D that's
leading the charge.
That's a really good example ofthat.

SPEAKER_04 (34:44):
Yes.
And we just had a conversationabout that, Erin, with Chris on
the last podcast episode, thehot seed episode.
We that very, very thing.
We talked about how that createda lot of the disconnect and how
we've utilized all thisinformation to communicate our

(35:04):
way through and back to discoverwhat that disconnect was.
And even just acknowledging itand becoming aware of it
completely changes how you viewthat in your relationship.
You just accept it, youacknowledge it, come back
together and move on, right?
And keep building forward fromthere.
Yes, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 (35:24):
And I think, you know, if we just took a page
five of ours of your guys'assessment, we can see that you
guys are so similar, but you area little bit different.
It's just another way of helpingto expose you to this
information.
You know, we've got this wheelinstead of this graph, this bar
graph that we were looking at.
Now we're looking at a wheelbecause some people see wheels
better.
And look at where your yourarrows are arrows and your

(35:45):
circles fall.
So, Aaron, you're blue, yourblue circle is in 17 quadrant,
and your star, your adaptivestar, is in your 16th quadrant.
Kelly, you're red, and both yourstar and your circle live in
your 15th quadrant.
And that is just across the linefrom each other, basically, a
very thin dividing line betweenthe two of you.

(36:05):
Whereas Kelly shows up as moreof a pure I, Aaron shows up more
as a true blend of I and S.
And we get two differentdistinctions about you.
So it really comes out to sharethat Aaron looks to be more of a
relator, and Kelly looks to bemore of a promoter.
And if we look at the relator,Aaron, customer focused,

(36:26):
networker, team player is thethree descriptors that we offer
there.
Kelly for promoter, optimisticoutlook, diversity seeker, and
people problems.
I could not agree with thosemore.
I mean, seriously, those threedescriptors nail you guys.

SPEAKER_03 (36:42):
Yeah, they really do.

SPEAKER_00 (36:43):
You have any thoughts here?

SPEAKER_03 (36:45):
I just I agree with you.
I think that it's again goingback to what I said before, just
having the confirmation, ifnothing else, that this is who
you are and it's okay, is reallyincredible.
And then again, justunderstanding myself more,
understanding Kelly better, andunderstanding what our strengths

(37:07):
are, and then how we can buildupon those, and then what our
weaknesses are and how how tocome together and overcome that.
How do how do we work besttogether in this line of work
based on who we are?

SPEAKER_00 (37:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
Kelly, anything?

SPEAKER_04 (37:26):
I'm a promoter, so I'm gonna promote Aaron and
relate to her and tell her thateverything that she said is
absolutely amazing, and I agreewith it all.

SPEAKER_03 (37:37):
Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 (37:39):
It's good to have fun.

SPEAKER_03 (37:40):
It's true.
It's true.

SPEAKER_00 (37:42):
Hey, we're dealing with three eyes here, right?
I leaved with my I too.
So Kelly's an I S.
Aaron, you're an S I, and I'm anI D.
So we got three I's in the room.
We all like to have fun andlaugh.
I think that's pretty apparentwhenever we get on air, too.
All right.
So if we go a little furthernow, we can go to page six of
your assessment.
And what we're looking at hereis basically your natural graph

(38:03):
side by side, but not usingnumbers, instead, using
descriptive words to describeyour level in that graph itself.
And we start off with thedominance category.
This is the decision-making,problem-solving aspect of a
human being.
How do you solve problems andchallenges?
And we can see that on theleft-hand side, ET stands for

(38:24):
Aaron Thomas.
You go down to modest, okay?
You're way down at modest, andKelly is all the way up above
cooperative into calculating.
Both of you are cautiousdecision makers, but Aaron,
you're you appear to be muchmore cautious.
And when you go to work, you godown to peaceful, you go down
again one step lower and geteven more cautious in your

(38:45):
decision making.
Not good, bad, right, or wrong,unless it gets in the way of
something that needs to be done.
I'd imagine there are times youwish that you were maybe a
little bit more decisive.
And some people may have said,you know, just make a decision
or something like that.
I think Kelly feels sometimesshe wishes she was a little more
decisive too.
At the same time, you guys arebuilt this way for a reason
because you believe that youneed to be cautious in your

(39:08):
decision making.
And so there's nothing wronghere.
This is just your tendency.
And there are times when youguys can both come to the table
and say, you know, do I haveeverything I need to make this
decision?
Am I okay if I make the decisionand it doesn't play out well?
And can I just encourage orchallenge myself to make the
decision a little sooner, alittle stronger, if you need to?
If you don't, just remain inyour natural style.

(39:31):
It seems to be what serves you.

SPEAKER_03 (39:34):
You know what's so interesting and funny about this
playing out in real liferecently, is I feel like one of
the areas where I know I'mindecisive.
Kelly's probably gonna agreewith this, is when we are
titling our episodes and tryingto figure out like the perfect

(39:57):
name for what to title anepisode so that it's relevant
and makes people want to listenand all of the things.
And it's so funny because we'llgo back and forth and we'll
text, like, what do you think ofthis?
Here's some ideas, here's someideas, and we'll go back and
forth and back and forth.

(40:18):
And just recently, Kelly sent meshe doesn't know I'm gonna tell
you this.
But she sent me like a wholeslew of ideas that she was
thinking about.
And I was like, Yep, like thatone, yep, like that, don't like
that.
And then I caught myself in themoment, literally thinking to
myself, oh, she's overthinkingthis.

(40:39):
And I was like, hey pot, I'mKettle.
Like, like that is the story ofmy life, like overthinking
everything.
And so it was funny that Iprojected that onto her.
Like in that moment, I was like,she's overthinking this.
And I was like, oh man, Ioverthink everything all the

(41:02):
time.
And so it was a funny way thatthat played out recently, and we
always we always come to anagreement, and we always it's it
always works itself out, but itis funny how that plays out.

SPEAKER_00 (41:15):
Indeed.

SPEAKER_04 (41:16):
Well, hi Kettle, I'm Pot.
E.T.
stands for E.T.
Phone Home, by the way, Marcus.
We've been teasing Aaron aboutE.T.
Phone Home since she was alittle kid.
Yeah.
It was so funny.
As soon as I saw ET on thescreen, it made me laugh out
loud a little bit.
I have a question for you.

(41:38):
This is a really fun um page forme.
And every time we look at thesebehavioral descriptors and we
get into how we uh break downunder pressure too.

SPEAKER_02 (41:50):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (41:50):
And I don't want to jump ahead to that, but I want
to focus on this page.
Before I had a critical lifeincident, which was going
through a divorce and alsolosing our mother, I was an ID,
and I was just fully an ID.
If you look at who I was at thatphase of my life, and looking at
just this D category, I was moreventuresome, decisive,

(42:14):
competitive, determined,strong-willed, pioneering,
ambitious.
You know, I look at those wordsabove the energy line on the
dominance, and now where I ambelow the energy line on that,
as my behavioral style flippedto IS.
And so I would love to just hearyour perspective on that because

(42:38):
I still see some of that in me.
I still feel some of that, but Ido hold back because I think
that there have been experiencesin my life that have challenged
me on a very personal andprofessional level to where I
question myself and I don'tnecessarily always trust the

(43:01):
decisions that I'm making.
And so then I become morecautious in my decision making.
So I'd I'd love to just explorethat a little bit because I'm
sure that people who arelistening can relate to that
switch, that change, and alsohow we approach our behaviors
and our decision making when wehave these experiences where we

(43:23):
have to kind of just be honestwith ourselves about where we
find challenge.

SPEAKER_00 (43:28):
Absolutely.
I think that in all likelihood,your driving force is
reconfigured at some of thosedifferent stages of your life,
you know, with the dissolutionof your marriage, your mother's
passing away, uh, things thathappened in the process of the
dissolution of your marriage,some decisions that you made,
how things worked out, some ofthe businesses you went into,
and the outcomes of thosebusinesses that you went into,

(43:48):
you know, how people behavethemselves and what the ultimate
outcome was.
And I think in the end, it was acombination of what you valued,
you changed what you valued tosome degree based upon your
experiences.
And also you learnedbehaviorally, I've been maybe a
little too aggressive.
Maybe I've just been so gung-ho,so strong-minded, so just I'm
gonna do this no matter what.

(44:09):
And it worked against me.
And so maybe I should kind ofback off a little bit and I
should just slow it down andbecome a little more cautious
and try to understand what I'mreally thinking of doing and
what the possible ramificationsof that might be going forward
better than I've ever donebefore, because I'm learning
through my experience.
So my feedback on that is thatprobably what happened is that

(44:32):
through the experience, you hadsome stinging, biting
experiences that taught you thatI need to slow this down a
little bit, think a little bitmore before I respond more than
react, and I'll have betteroutcomes.
And that's what I thinkhappened.

SPEAKER_04 (44:48):
Well, I think that's very fair.
I I also believe that havingpeople that you trust in your
life that you feel confidentrunning those decisions by, and
you feel like you have thatsafe, stable place to do that,
especially as a high eye,because I'm so optimistic.
Everything's gonna work out,everybody's telling me the

(45:08):
truth, everybody has my bestinterests at heart.
That's not always the case.
Had to learn that the hard way.

SPEAKER_00 (45:17):
Well said.
Well said.
And those kinds of experiencessting and they cause us to
recalibrate as a human, right?
Which I think is veryintelligent because all it's
saying is let me just be morecautious in how I do this.
And you notice that you arecalculating.
So you're just under the energyline.
You're parked right there whereyou just, I just want to
calculate this a little bitmore, analyze this a little bit

(45:37):
more before I decide what I'mgonna do.
That's a pretty healthy positionto be in, used properly,
understood properly, it reallycan be your best friend because
what it'll do is it'llcounterbalance your
over-optimistic uh nature inyour high eye and bring some
balance to them so that youstill remain optimistic, but you
make better decisions.

SPEAKER_03 (45:55):
Oh, I like that.
Cool.
I have a question about mine,and maybe you're gonna go into
this, but especially when itpertains to work and knowing
that I do drop even more in thatdominance category, and I am
very cautious, tend to be moreagreeable, all of that.

(46:16):
Knowing what you know about meand my full assessment and the
fact that I am a self-proclaimedand my assessment says so people
please, quote unquote peoplepleaser.
Does some of that come from aprotective place of not wanting
to do the wrong thing, notwanting to disappoint people,

(46:40):
not wanting to make a wrongmove?

SPEAKER_00 (46:43):
Yes.
Basically, your high I has aninherent need, not a want, not a
desire, an inherent need to beliked.
And your high S doesn't want torock the boat, does not like
confrontation.
In fact, confrontation is kindof like kryptonite for high S
people.
So if you think about this athome, you're the boss in your
house, right?
I mean, you you it's your home,but you go to work, and if I

(47:05):
just calm my D down even more,kind of go along, get a wrong
people, please.
People will like me.
I won't rock the boat, nothingbad will happen, and it's calm
waters and it's happy waters.
And I think that's really whatyou're trying to create, Aaron.
How do you feel about it?

SPEAKER_03 (47:22):
Well, I think that makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_00 (47:26):
Good questions, you guys.
See, this is the kind of stuffthat when you start asking these
questions of somebody like methat's in the room that can help
you with this, you actually canreally learn a lot about
yourself and you start to learnthe dynamic you that you are and
what you can do to really bethat dynamic you to an even
larger level with more fullunderstanding of who you are.
And what we're talking abouthere are strengths, you know.

(47:47):
We're just talking about yourhuman potential and what you can
do to really level that up.
And if we go over to your I, theinfluencer in both of you,
you're very close together here.
You know, Aaron, you top out atenthusiastic and Kelly, you top
out between magnetic andinspiring, very high I.
You guys, this is not atendency.
This is more absolute up here inthis air, anything above 70.

(48:09):
And we're really starting to getvery, very strong with that
tendency to the point of beingabsolute.
But you guys are both so closetogether.
This is what you share.
This is the one thing that youare so close on in your whole
behavioral profile, is your eyeto be able to talk to each
other, to be able to come acrossthe way you do on the air with
the people you talk to on PIG,how you interact with your

(48:30):
friends, your family.
It's very similar because you'reboth so high I in that
interactive influencer spacethat lives within both of you.
And if we go over to your S, wecan see that there's a little
bit of a staircase here, justlike with the D, right?
So you're both above the energyline, you're both IS, but at the
same time, Aaron, you're way upthere between patient and

(48:51):
passive.
I mean, this is a strong S foryou.
You know, I don't want to bechanged.
I need to understand what'shappening before it happens.
I need to know what's happening,why is it happening, when's it
happening, and how's ithappening?
And if I do, I feel more secureto move with it.
If I don't, I'm gonna put myheels in the ground in all
likelihood, and I'm gonnaactively or passively resist

(49:11):
what's going on because I don'tfeel safe enough to move.
I don't know enough.
Kelly down there at steady,right above stable, not quite so
much.
She can move sooner than youcan, especially with that higher
D behind her S, where shedoesn't need to know quite so
many things there.
And your paces are verydifferent here, and I think
that's what we talked aboutearlier, just understanding the

(49:32):
difference and not letting thatbe a problem, but letting that
be a point of how do we comecloser together over our
difference in pace, and justcommunicating about it makes all
the difference in the world.
Then we go over to yourconscientious compliance, the C
and your profile, and we can seethat both of you are below the
energy line here.
Aaron, you're all the way upthere at obstinate, and Kelly,

(49:53):
you're all the way down atarbitrary.

SPEAKER_03 (49:55):
So hey, quick giggling, sister.

SPEAKER_00 (49:58):
You see this in both of you.
It's so funny.
You're just spending so manytime with you and all.

SPEAKER_04 (50:02):
I like the word obstinate when it comes to
describing you to me.
I may have been using that wordfor how old are you?
29, 48, 40, at least 45 years.

SPEAKER_00 (50:19):
Well, it's it's been with you for a long time.
You gotta lean into it now, youknow what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
And I and I think what's sogreat about this page is you
guys are above the energy lineand below the energy line
together in every single column.
Yeah, so whether it's low taskorientation with your DNC,
you're both there.
Whether it's high people inrelationship with your I and

(50:41):
your S, you're both there.
You're not exactly the samescores, but you both are people
relationship oriented first andyou're task-oriented second, and
you both live in both of thoseups at the top and the bottom of
the graphs very well together.
There's more in alignment thanthere is less in alignment, in
all honesty.

SPEAKER_04 (50:59):
I love that.
So I had a thought as we'regoing through all of this, and I
also have something that I wantyou to share, Marcus, with
listeners.
So I'm going to start with thefirst, our mother.
And one of the things that Ialways remember our mom saying
is, man, you guys are so muchalike, but you're so different.

(51:20):
And I see that so clearly inthese graphs and on this page as
we're looking at these words.
And again, we're on page six.
If listeners are looking at ourreports and had pulled them up
online or end up getting theirown.
So, number one, I think thatthat's that's just a nice little
reflection for me.

(51:41):
I see that kind of shiningthrough on this page.
The other thing is Aaron and Ihave been very open and honest
with each other, with you, withChris and Jason, you know, in
their relationship and workingon this project, and with our
listeners, that over the lastyear and a half, Aaron and I
have been given this gift toreally get authentic, raw, real,

(52:05):
and work on our relationship.
And we both had this underlyingvalue of our relationship is so
important to us, we don't wantto live disconnected.
And we want to help othersiblings or family members who
feel disconnected know that theycan bridge that gap with each

(52:25):
other.
There is a way, and part of thathonesty in even unpacking the
disconnect has been how did weeven get disconnected?
So we've unpacked that.
You know, what were thedifferent situations?
What were the circumstances?
But what I see on this page isbehaviorally, maybe why we

(52:46):
disconnected, but also weren'twilling to even admit our
disconnect.
Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 (52:54):
It does.
And the thing that I see inaddition to that is that you two
are relationship oriented firstand foremost.
And so your relationship isparamount because the way that
this reads to me is that if youtwo lost your relationship, it'd
be devastating to the two of youbecause there's no reason for
you to lose your relationship.
There's just none.

(53:14):
We've already had losses inrelationship, all of us, and
they never feel good.
But you two have been aroundeach other your whole entire
lives, and you arerelationship-oriented first and
foremost.
And to lose this would bedevastating to the two of you.
So it makes a lot of sense whyyou would naturally gravitate
back towards each other andgiven an opportunity to open a
door and move, walk in that roomtogether and go, hey, can we

(53:38):
really take this thing to thehighest potential we have while
we're alive and really enjoythis relationship in ways we
never have before?
How exciting! Why wouldn't youdo it?
It's right there waiting foryou.
And you're already doing a greatjob with it.

SPEAKER_04 (53:51):
Well, thank you.
You've been a huge instrumentalpart of that.
And I hope it inspires ourlisteners to really look at
their relationships and what'spossible.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (54:00):
Well, if we just take a step to page seven from
here now, I think we're going tocome to a page where we're just
looking at your top fourbehavioral competencies.
Okay, these are the ones thatstand out.
If we were to spend a day withAaron, spend a day with Kelly,
these are some things that wewould see in them very, very
easily because they are sostrong within their behavioral
profile.
If we just look at Aaron's realquick, her number one is

(54:22):
people-oriented, build rapportwith a wide range of
individuals.
She scores 100.
So Aaron has to be aroundpeople, she has to talk to
people, she has to do thingsinvolving people.
It just matters crazy, crazyimportant to her.
Kelly, her number one isinteraction, which happens to be
Aaron's number three.
So they share this one, right?

(54:43):
Kelly's number one interaction,frequently engage and
communicate with others.
100.
She has to talk to people.
If Kelly can't talk to people,even if it's just me, it's not
good.

SPEAKER_04 (54:57):
Well, good thing I like talking to you on a daily
basis.

SPEAKER_00 (55:00):
I know, right?
And and and you've and you're inyou've had careers where you've
had to talk to people on anongoing basis all day long.
And you know, you just love it.
You just love interacting withhuman beings.
It's it's part of your naturalmakeup, and so it's in your
wheelhouse, we would say, issomething you must be engaging
with daily in order to be happyand fulfilled.
And Aaron, same thing withpeople-oriented in her number

(55:21):
one.
Then we get down to number twofor Aaron, customer-oriented 97.
Identify and fill customerexpectations.
This is even with your friends.
Think of your friends asinternal customers in your life,
really kind of identifying andwhat do they need and what do
they want from you as thatsupporter that that S actually
is, you know, coming in at 97,very, very strong.

(55:42):
Anything that has to do withcustomer service, Erin would
likely do very, very well simplybecause she likes to talk to
people.
She likes people, and she'scustomer oriented, and she has a
consistent approach with how sheprocesses and deals with
situations.
We look at Kelly, number two,versatile, adapts to various
situations with ease.
This is the mark of a high eye.
And she's got that D next to herthere coming up below her energy

(56:04):
line that really wants that thatthat change too, that
versatility, that frequentchange.
So Kelly doesn't mind movingfrom this to that and the other.
That's why she's got eightdifferent things on her desk
right now, and and she can movefrom this, that to the other.
She can pivot at will.
Multitasking can still be achallenge for her, and you wear
her out at the end of the day,but she can move this, that, and
the other.

(56:25):
And then Aaron's number three isinteraction, just like Kelly's
number one, but Aaron's is a 90,still above average.
Very, very powerful score here.
And then Kelly's number three isfrequent change, rapidly
shifting between tasks.
This is where we see her driverpop up into her behavioral
style, her dominant behavioralstyle, and really show itself

(56:45):
up.
And you know, when we go out toeat, I'm a person who likes to
find something that I like toeat, and then I just like to
keep ordering the same thing.
It's kind of counter to mybehavioral style.
But my wife is like, Oh, Iwonder what that'll taste like,
or oh, I wonder what that'll be.
And she looks at the menu, andher lower D and her desire for
change and fun and versatilitycauses her to see things on the

(57:06):
menu that I'm down to like threethings.
She's like, I could pick eightdifferent things, you know, and
it's just that desire for changeand the uniqueness of it, and
what will that bring?
What energy will that bring?
And then in number four, we haveErin being consistent, perform
predictably in repetitivesituations.
That's your S right there in thebehavioral profile.
And Kelly, you have customeroriented as well.

(57:28):
So identify and fill customerexpectations in your number four
position.
So again, if we look at pageseven, we see there's a lot of
yellow and a lot of green, I andS in your style, and we see very
clearly that you both shareinteraction and customer
orientation in your topcompetencies, behaviorally
speaking.

(57:48):
You have a lot going on thatreally aligns with each other.

SPEAKER_03 (57:53):
Wow.
Can I ask a question about so mynumber one is people-oriented
with a score of 100?
Kelly's number one isinteraction with a score of 100.
How are those different?
What differentiates beingpeople-oriented versus that tag

(58:13):
word of interaction?
What's the distinction betweenthose two?

SPEAKER_00 (58:17):
Fair enough.
When we talk about interaction,I think we can just go to the

definition (58:20):
frequently engage and communicate with others.
So this is all about just thecommunication aspect with other
people.
When we go to people-oriented,again, let's look to the
definition, build rapport with awide range of individuals.
This is being able to createsort of a fun atmosphere with a
lot of number of differentpeople around you, as opposed to

(58:41):
just merely engaging them incommunication.
That's the difference.

SPEAKER_04 (58:44):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (58:44):
Good question.
Thank you.
Really good question.

SPEAKER_04 (58:47):
So it's more about relationship building and having
a personal connection, perhaps,with those individuals.

SPEAKER_00 (58:54):
Absolutely, as opposed to just frequently
engaging with someone.

SPEAKER_03 (58:58):
Yeah.
Which is so interesting.
I mean, I've said my entire lifethat even before I ever did
these assessments, I would havedescribed myself forever as a
relationship builder.
That's who I am to the very coreof my being.

SPEAKER_00 (59:14):
Right there.
That's number one.

SPEAKER_03 (59:16):
So that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:00):
Together, right?
Think about how that playstogether.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:02):
We have some people that may be looking at these
reports, Marcus.
Can you explain?
There's a little gray bar with anumber underneath it and the
average of the population andthe mean.
Can you just describe that justa little bit so we cover it?

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:18):
Absolutely.
Let's just take um Kelly'sbecause the gray bar is so wide
in that particular one on numberone interaction.
So the 58 with the asterisk nextto it in the middle with the
white line, that's the mean.
That's the middle of the averagewhere 68% of respondents have
scored.
And then you see above thatwhite line, to the right of that
white line, is one standarddeviation away from the mean.

(01:00:42):
That's the upper half of theaverage.
Anything above that gray wedgeto the full right hand side of
that yellow scale would be twostandard deviations away from
the mean.
Now, if we go the oppositedirection, the gray to the left
of the 58, one standarddeviation down from the mean and
the and the average.
And then again, from the end ofthat gray bar on the left hand

(01:01:04):
side, all the way to the leftand left hand side of that
yellow continuum, that is twostandard deviations from the
mean.
To make that simple, let's lookat the bottom.
There's some there's a scale atthe bottom.
You see the EP with a circlearound it, PM, etc.
Three standard deviations abovethe mean would be extremely
passionate.
Okay.
Two standard deviations abovethe mean is passionate.

(01:01:27):
So let's take a look at Kelly.
Kelly over here in herinteraction, the mean is 58.
One standard deviation is to theend of the gray, two standard
deviations is to the end of theyellow.
She is passionately interactive.
Okay.
And then also you can see at theend of the scores.
See where it says Kelly 100, itsays P in a circle.

(01:01:49):
That correlates with the scaleat the bottom.
So we can say Kelly ispassionately interactive.
Aaron, notice how small her umgraph is, her average is.
It's so much smaller thanKelly's in the 58.
Notice that gray wedge issmaller, not as long.
And notice where it says 100 EP.
You are three standarddeviations from the mean in your

(01:02:10):
particular score, Aaron, andyou're extremely passionately
people-oriented.
It's very powerful.
If we go the other direction,which we can't see here because
we're not looking at the bottom,there's there's a total of 12 of
these in a full report.
If we were to get down to yournumber 9, 10, 11, and 12, we
would see the indifference.
We would see the mainstreamstart to show up more, and we

(01:02:31):
would see the extremelyindifferent show up too, because
they would be below the mean,either one, two, or three
standard deviations.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:37):
Thanks for covering that.
Yeah.
I just wanted to explain that incase people were looking at that
and just kind of wondering.
With that, we're looking at theentire population of individuals
who have ever taken this report,and that is a lot.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:54):
Yeah, and that gray wedge represents those 68% of
all people who ever took thisfall into that.
Like with Kelly, that 50% thatgray wedge that she has, that's
where 68% of all people who'veever taken this assessment fall
into that gray wedge somewhere.
Then from there, you've got 32%left.
So there's 16% below and 16%below.

(01:03:14):
So if you think about it, inorder to be where you are,
Kelly, with your interaction at100, only 16% of the population
that's ever taken thisassessment have ever scored up
there.
That's how powerful it is.
That's why it's passionate.
Three standard deviation isextremely passionate.
It's really a strong forcewithin you.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:34):
Well, and I think that's important because that
also plays into how Aaron and Irecognize in each other these
very specific types of behaviorsand why we may do or say or
behave in certain ways that aredifferent from each other.
Yes.

(01:03:54):
Because Aaron is so extremelypassionate about people
orientation, building rapportand customer-oriented
identifying and fulfillingexpectations that she doesn't
understand why everybody in theworld isn't that way.

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:11):
That's exactly right, because it's so powerful
to her, so strong, it'sall-encompassing.
You're right.
You're right.
Cool.
Thank you.
And this helps us understandthat people are different to us.
They do not see it the same way.
They aren't as passionate aboutcertain things as we are.
And that'll show up again indriving forces as well.
The next page that we come up tois page eight.
And I don't want to spend a lotof time here.

(01:04:32):
All I'm trying to show you herewith this particular page is
that it's Kelly's score, Aaron'sscore, the difference between
your scores all the way throughyour D I S N C.
But we've got all 12competencies here listed, all 12
of them.
And what I like to really payattention to is the differences.
So let's just take the Dcompetitive frequent change and

(01:04:52):
urgency, right here at the top,one, two, and three.
It shows the means, it showsyour scores.
You guys here have a pretty gooddifference: 30 points in
competitiveness, 27 points infrequent change, and 24 points
in sense of urgency.
So this is a significantdifference.
This isn't a small thing, theseare big tendency tendency

(01:05:14):
differences that can really workagainst you if you guys don't
understand them and navigatethem together.
This is in likelihood going tomake Kelly move much faster, be
more decisive than you, etc.
And we have to find a way tobring that back closer together
with some of the decisionsyou're making, the projects
you're working on.

SPEAKER_03 (01:05:29):
That's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:30):
If we go down to let's just say your C
compliance, analysis, followingpolicy, organized workplace, 10,
11, and 12.
Look at your score differences10, 20, and 10.

SPEAKER_03 (01:05:42):
Yeah, that's really fascinating, actually.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:45):
In analysis, there's only a 10-point difference.
You're both probably fairlysimilar in how you analyze
stuff.
Organized workplace, which bythe way isn't a clean desk.
It's establishing andmaintaining order and routines
and processes and systems inyour life to help you get things
done.
Again, both of you are within 10points of each other.

(01:06:05):
Probably not a massive, massivedifference between the two of
you.
So that's what I like this pagefor, to really kind of show us
okay, where there's a biggergap, we probably have a bigger
bridge to build to meet eachother.
Where there's a smaller gap,that's more just kind of easy
for us to navigate that betterwithout much snags here and
there.
That makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:23):
It does make sense.
And I think building off what wejust talked about on the
previous page, if we look underinfluence, how you influence
people and contacts, there'sinteraction, people-oriented,
and versatile.
So that's where those threereally showed up strongly for
both of us on the previous page.
In people-oriented, buildrapport with a ride range of

(01:06:45):
individuals, Aaron's a hundred,I'm a 65.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:48):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:49):
So there's a 35-point differential there that
you don't necessarily see on anyother page of the report, but we
see it here.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:58):
Yes, we do.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:59):
So there's the difference between the extremely
passionate and the passionate.
That's that's really powerful.
I'm I'm glad we looked at thispage.
That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:08):
Yeah, because in the comparison, we're just comparing
your top four behavioralcompetencies, but there's a
total of 12.
And so this page, like you said,Kelly, really elicits the rest
of it, it illuminates the restof it to you.
But we're focused on the topfour because those are the four
that are really going inside ofyou.
Those are the ones that arereally active inside of you.
There's your wheelhouse, too.

(01:07:29):
Yeah, very cool.
And we go to the next page, wecome to something so fascinating
and so wonderful, whether it'spersonal or professional, makes
no difference.
I mean, how many times have youever been asked where you go to
work?
How would you prefer to becommunicated with for, you know,
so that it's easy for you tolisten and engage?
That never happens, really.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:47):
Never.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:48):
But we can actually do that with people in
businesses and on teams, and itworks exceedingly well when we
go through the process and theydevelop the skill set that it
takes to do this, which isn'tthat hard to do.
And in relationships, oh, right?
There's so many unspoken thingsthat irritate us about each
other, this, that, or the other,things that we really wish the
person would do or not do.
And here we can actually starttalking about that specifically

(01:08:11):
in regards to communication.
So on page nine, what we'relooking at are ways that Kelly
and Aaron would probably likepeople to communicate with them.
And if they do so, their earswill stay open, their mind will
stay receptive, and they'll stayengaged with the conversation if
these things happen.
If they don't happen, otherthings happen that they don't

(01:08:32):
like, they'll start to tune out.
But let's focus on the ways youlike people to communicate with
you and just focus on Aaron.
So, Kelly, when you read yourlist of how you would like Aaron
to communicate with you, thinkof her.
Think of her.
And Aaron, do the same with yoursister.
Try not to think of otherpeople.
This is just about the two ofyou in your comparison report.

(01:08:54):
So, in other words, Aaron, whichthree of those eight bullet
points do you want most fromyour sister when she talks to
you?
And Kelly, which three of thoseeight bullet points do you want
most from Aaron when she talksto you?
Just let me know when you gotthem.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:09):
Anytime.

SPEAKER_00 (01:09:11):
Kelly, what'd you come up with?

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:13):
Ooh, they're all so good.
Provide ideas for implementingaction.

SPEAKER_00 (01:09:20):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:21):
Read body language for approval or disapproval.

SPEAKER_00 (01:09:25):
Very good.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:27):
Leave time for relating and socializing.

SPEAKER_00 (01:09:30):
Nice.
I'm sure your sister willappreciate that.
All right.
So, Kelly, would you when yousay provide ideas for
implementing action, what doesthat mean?
Tell your sister what thatmeans.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:44):
So I am an implementer and I like to get
projects moving and make surethey stay on track.
Especially when we're working,let's say, let's just take this
podcast, because this is thebiggest project we're working on
together right now.
Anything Erin can bring to thetable and share her ideas,

(01:10:08):
because I value her opinions andher ideas and want to make sure
that what we are doing is inalignment, not just with the
direction that I'm movingbecause I'm moving, right?
Because we have to keep thingsmoving forward, but that her
ideas allow the implementationand action to take place.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:33):
Does that make sense to you, Erin?
Do you understand what she'ssaying to you?

SPEAKER_03 (01:10:36):
Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:37):
Okay.
Very good.
Now, when you go down to numberseven and you talk about read
the body language for approvalor disapproval, what are you
saying to your sister there?

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:47):
Sometimes it's hard still, even with how far we've
come in our relationship and ourconnection, to say, yeah, I like
that or don't, yeah, no, I don'tlike that, or yeah, I think we
should go in that direction, orno, we shouldn't.
And so, but I know I'm wearingit because 97% of all

(01:11:07):
communication is body languageand tone.
And so I just think that I thinkthat that's probably an area
that we can and continue to getbetter on is reading each
other's body language and tone.
I work really hard to improve myskill set in that area, but it's

(01:11:27):
something that you have to workon over time.
And so I that yeah, that's itthere.

SPEAKER_00 (01:11:34):
Are you wanting her to watch your body language and
when she senses through what sheobserves about you that I'm not
so sure about that one, Aaron,that she says, oh, hey, stop for
a moment.
Let's talk about this.
I'm sensing that you don't feelreal strong about this one way
or the other, to continue theconversation.

SPEAKER_04 (01:11:51):
Yeah, so great.
This is see why we need coachingso much, because this is exactly
it.
It's hard to articulate that,but you articulated that really
well.
And I think pausing, usingreading body language and tone
as an opportunity to pause andstop on that specific topic so
that we have clarity, so thatneither one of us are making

(01:12:14):
assumptions is so cool for bothof us to really lean into.

SPEAKER_03 (01:12:20):
Yeah, the other thing that's really interesting
about that for me is given bothof our profiles, is that the
interaction is really importantto both of us.
And this is where I feel likecommunication in general with so
many people goes off the rails,is because when we aren't

(01:12:43):
talking live, right, and we livein two different areas of the
United States, right?
So we record the podcast on Zoomlong distance.
So much of our communicationtakes place over the phone.
And so that's why we're even intext message, emailing, you
know, written words so manytimes, you know, we read those

(01:13:06):
messages the way we're readingthem, not necessarily how people
are intending them to sound, andvice versa.
And so this is where this is soimportant, right?
As much communication as we cando, especially on really
important projects like thispodcast, right?
Things that are really importantto both of us that we're trying

(01:13:29):
to move forward together.
It sounds like, Marcus, correctme if I'm wrong, but then as
much communication as we can dowhere we can see each other, and
I have the opportunity to readthat body language because I
feel like I actually do a decentjob at reading your body
language when I can see yourbody language, right?

(01:13:52):
Um, but when I can't, that'swhere, yeah, communication just
falls off and it causesdisconnect.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:59):
It's exceedingly helpful.
It's exceedingly helpful to seepeople.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:03):
Yeah.
I almost didn't select that oneand selected a different one
because we do so much emailingand texting.
And I know that it's reallydifficult, but I purposely
selected it because it Ithought, well, we actually do
need more face-to-facesometimes.
Yeah.
Um, but we do work, we do havefull lives, we have

(01:14:26):
relationships, we have family,and I think that this is an
important topic, could be awhole episode in and of itself,
is the loss of human connectionand conversation through live
interaction and defaulting totext and email, and how that
really is breaking downrelationships.

(01:14:46):
And it really does sometimesbreak down progress, especially
when working on big importantprojects like the PIG.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:55):
And think and think about how expressive the two of
you are as your high eyes,right?
You're some of the mostdemonstrative people that exist
on the face of the planet in thesense that you talk with your
bodies, your faces, your hands,everything moves.
And to miss that, to miss thaton important things is a lot to
miss.
And so I think anytime you cansee each other while you're

(01:15:16):
talking, and wow, you know,technology has a double-edged
sword.
It's not always great, but itcan be really great.
And in this instance, it isFaceTime, right?
Zoom, whatever you need to do tosee each other's face when it's
important, it'll probably helpyou guys a lot.

SPEAKER_03 (01:15:28):
Yeah, yeah, agreed.

SPEAKER_00 (01:15:30):
Cool.
And Kelly, your your last onethat you picked was number
eight.
Leave time for relating andsocializing.
Um, Aaron, is there anyexplanation needed here?

SPEAKER_03 (01:15:39):
No, but yes, please.

SPEAKER_00 (01:15:46):
Oh my goodness.
Well, Aaron, what what three didyou pick for your sister?
What do you want the most fromKelly when she talks to you?

SPEAKER_03 (01:15:54):
Oh so same.
They're all so good and soimportant.
Um, but number four, presentyour case softly,
non-threateningly, with asincere tone of voice.
I am so sensitive to how I'mspoken to.
And this is a general statementin my life, and certainly Kelly

(01:16:18):
knows this about me, but whatyou say is important to me, but
how people communicate with meis really important.
So I do like that gentleapproach to communication.

SPEAKER_00 (01:16:32):
Very nice.
Hey Aaron, can I ask you aquestion before you go on?
Yeah.
When you say present your casesoftly, non-threateningly with a
secure tone of voice, what kindof a state does that put you in
when communicating with anotherperson?
When those things are arepresent, soft voice,
non-threatening, sincere tone ofvoice, what kind of a emotional
state does that put you in whenthey're talking to you?

SPEAKER_03 (01:16:53):
I feel like it puts me in a state of calm and
openness to where I'm thenreally receptive to the words
that are spoken.
I'm really open to what is beingsaid if I feel like it's a safe
place.
And so when people talk to me,like when people raise their

(01:17:15):
voice at me or are moreaggressive in their approach to
me, I shut down.
I just won't even hear what youhave to say because I it just
it's it's it's wild, actually,the true physiological response
that happens with my body if Ifeel threatened.

(01:17:37):
And somebody might not betalking to me in what they see
as a threatening way, like theywould never use that word
necessarily, necessarily todescribe themselves or the way
they're communicating with me,but it is definitely how I
interpret kind of a a moreaggressive tone, if that makes

(01:17:58):
sense.

SPEAKER_00 (01:17:59):
That's why I said earlier that confrontation is
like kryptonite to high S's.
At the slightest sign of it,they want to start to retract,
they want to start to go insidetheir shell.
Can I get out of this room?
Can I get out of thisconversation?
Whatever the case may be.
So all of us, if we're talkingto a high S such as yourself, we
have to keep it a really calm,stable place where they feel

(01:18:19):
safe and there's not in danger.
And then, like you said, youstay very open, very receptive,
willing to listen, willing toparticipate.
And very quickly, if thatchanges, I'm out.

SPEAKER_03 (01:18:28):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:29):
It's that it's just like that.
That's really great.
I wanted everybody to hear thatbecause it's so profound with
high S's.

SPEAKER_03 (01:18:35):
Yeah.
As a relationship builder, if Ifeel like that relationship is
threatened in any way, then I'mlike, oh, never mind.
I'm out.
I'll go build a relationshipwith somebody else.
I don't really care what youhave to say, you know?
So that that's reallyinteresting.
Yeah.
So thank you for asking morequestions in regards to that.

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:58):
Does that make sense to you, Kel?

SPEAKER_04 (01:19:00):
Oh, it does, absolutely.
And where I really see thatplaying out is where I break
down under pressure and I amexperiencing some stress, or I'm
we're down to the wire, or we'recoming up against a deadline.
I have to really choose my wordsand my approach with Erin very,
very carefully because my higherD and my task-oriented, we need

(01:19:25):
to get this done, we need tomake a decision, we need to get,
you know, this in line.
I feel like that can sometimescome across as hard and
threatening and insincere whenit's not meant that way at all.
So that's another good awarenessplace for me as the
communicator.

SPEAKER_00 (01:19:44):
Well done, ladies.

SPEAKER_04 (01:19:45):
Love that.

SPEAKER_00 (01:19:46):
Well done.
Aaron, what what's the next oneyou picked?

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:51):
The next one I picked is actually I feel like
um one and three kind of overlapa little bit.
So the showing interest, butthen providing personal
assurances.
Like I just want to be reassuredthat how do I word this?
I think I just want to bereassured that I'm doing okay.

(01:20:16):
Personal assurance is reallyprofound to me.
I don't know if it's a almostlike a underlying belief that
somebody has in me, if thatmakes sense or if that aligns,
you know, like I know who youare, I know the kind of work
that you do, I'm confident inyour abilities, I believe in
you.
And so I think when I readpersonal assurances, that's how

(01:20:40):
I read that.
I don't know if that's accurate,but that's how I interpreted it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:20:45):
I'm actually glad you did that because the
assessments are editable,meaning that we know we don't
get every single statement orevery single word correct.
We're really good at what we do,but we don't get everything
correct.
So in number one and numberthree, you picked out what
really stood out to you.
Show sincere interest in her asa person.
Hear about me as a person, beinterested in me, you know, be

(01:21:07):
real and provide assurances thatI'm okay, I'm doing a good job,
or you like me as your friend,or you like me as your sister,
or things like that.
I mean, I think it's so greatthat you did that because what
you just basically showed all ofour listeners is that you can
edit these things to make themreally stand out and really
apply to you at a very, veryhigh level.
And it makes a lot of sense tome what you just said.
Does it make sense to you,Kelly?

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:28):
Oh, it absolutely does.
I have known this about Erinsince the moment she came into
the world.
For 48 years, she has wantedpeople to show a genuine sincere
interest in who she is as ahuman being.
And she has needed personalassurance her whole life.
And I think when we get into theconversation about Kelly

(01:21:52):
becoming the caretaker, there isa really fine line there because
that is the role that I haveplayed with Erin for so many,
almost five decades now.
And we're really navigating thatin this stage of our
relationship and really beinghonest and coming to terms with

(01:22:12):
the fact of how that role hascaused some problems and some
disconnect, how it's also causedsome issues, even for me.
And yet, at the same time, thereare ways to show interest and
provide assurances without beinga caretaker.

SPEAKER_00 (01:22:32):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Well done, ladies.

SPEAKER_04 (01:22:36):
That's cool.
I think that's really beautiful.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:22:39):
Well, now we get to look at the other side of the
equation.
This is what you wanted theother person to do when they
talk to you because it reallyperks your ears up, it keeps you
open, it keeps you engaged.
Now we're gonna look at theother side of the equation, page
10.
How you don't want Kelly tocommunicate with you, or how you
don't want Aaron to communicatewith you because it shuts you
down, it closes the doors, itmakes you want to stop

(01:23:00):
listening.
Because remember, when we'retalking to people, we're trying
to find ways to keep peopleengaged, to make them want to
hear what we say, not shut themdown.
But so often we don't realizewhat it is that shuts other
people down very quickly, as Imight add.
As little as a few seconds,somebody can decide, I'm out,
I'm not, I'm not, I'm I'm actinglike I'm listening, I'm
placating you, but I'm not noneof this is going in.

(01:23:22):
So it's really this side of theequation is super important as
well.
So, Aaron, out of your eightbullet points, which three do
you not want your sister to doto you the most because they
really turn you off and tune youout?
And Kelly, same for you withyour eight bullet points over on
the right hand side.

SPEAKER_03 (01:23:39):
It's so interesting.
The things that stick out to methe most kind of all fall in
line with what I was justtalking about, how I want to be
spoken to.
And so, and Kelly does not dothis to me, but you know, number
three, like patronize or demeanme.
Um, number four is the same way,number six, be domineering or

(01:24:02):
demanding.
I again, that all kind of fallsin line for me, of things that
would probably shut me down thefastest if people approach me in
that way.
Though if that's how somebody'strying to communicate with me or
has, you know, yeah, I'm likestumbling over my words, but

(01:24:22):
those those would likely shutyou down pretty big time because
you think about it, they're theopposite of your dominant
behavioral style.

SPEAKER_02 (01:24:28):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:24:28):
Right?
If they're the opposite of yourS.
Like you may get dictatorialfrom a high D, domineering and
demanding from a high D, whichhappens to be the opposite of a
high S fundamentally, and you'rea very low D and a very high S.
So those are the things in alllikelihood that would be
triggers for you, just like, ohmy gosh, I don't like it here
anymore, and I don't want tolisten anymore.

SPEAKER_03 (01:24:46):
Yeah, yeah.
And so, and I think that thenalong with that, and I'm I'll
throw this one in there too,like number eight, take credit
for my ideas.
It's so interesting because thatalso for me falls in line with
the I want to be heard, I wantto be understood, I really want
to build these partnerships andrelationships with people.

(01:25:09):
And so when I do put forth aneffort in like tasks, then
specifically, then that somebodyelse doesn't acknowledge that I
did that, especially becauseit's that's so far removed from
kind of my go-to style, right?
So when I do have tasks thatneed to be done or that I'm

(01:25:30):
working on one at a time andgetting accomplished, then I am
somebody who does like to berecognized for the things that
I've accomplished.
And so when that doesn't happen,or even worse than when somebody
else takes the credit for thework that I did, that just

(01:25:51):
stings because then I feel likethere's a breakdown in the true
partnership and as arelationship builder, yeah, and
somebody who really finds thatvaluable and important, then it
just stings when that doesn'thappen.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:09):
And there's another connection here.
Look at here, provide personalor assurances, right?
You're doing a good job.
That was a great idea, way togo.
It was an opportunity.
If they take credit for yourideas, it's an opportunity to
take praise and recognition thatyou like, that you kind of that
feels good to me.
You see the connection theretoo?
Yeah.
Very good.
Very good.

(01:26:30):
You did say that these three,three, five, and six are things
Kelly does not do.
Is there anything on here thatshe does do that?

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:36):
Yeah, I was gonna ask the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 (01:26:43):
It's so interesting because I mean, there there are
things that she does, but likenumber one's hilarious, right?
Drive on to facts, figures, likeshe's a scientist through and
through.
And so she like she's just likeso intrigued by numbers and data

(01:27:04):
and you know, all of thatlearning.
And I'm like, I really want tocare about all of this stuff.
And it's so funny because Idon't mind, like, I love that
part of her brain and that shebrings a passion about those
things into our conversations,whether it's related to the

(01:27:28):
podcast or not, right?
Like if I mean she could betalking about genetics, right?
And facts and figures and all ofthe things.
And I love that her brain worksthat way, and I'm fascinated
because mine just doesn't.
And so it's not that I don'twant her to communicate those
things to me, it's just that sheneeds to understand that she can

(01:27:52):
communicate those things to me,and they are literally going to
leave my brain the moment thatthey enter.
And that I just don't retain,you know, like I it's just it's
not, I don't know how to explainit, but there's nothing that she
really does, I don't know, thatput that puts up a wall, I

(01:28:13):
guess, between us.

SPEAKER_00 (01:28:14):
You think the word drive is the key word here?
Like if she just shares facts,figures, things like that, you
know, things she's learnedabout, things she's excited
about, that's cool.
But if she drives on them,drives on him, drives on him,
keeps just going, it's like, ohmy gosh.
Okay.
Erin has left the building.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:30):
In one ear, out the other.
That's fair.

SPEAKER_03 (01:28:35):
That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 (01:28:36):
It's that word drive that I think really is the
kicker for a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 (01:28:40):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:28:40):
Well done.
Well done.
Anything else?

SPEAKER_03 (01:28:44):
No, not for me.
I want to know what Kelly has tosay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:21):
What do you got, Kill?

SPEAKER_03 (01:29:22):
Ramble?
Short story long.
Listen to what happened to metoday.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:30):
Leave decisions hanging in the air.
Be Kurt Colder tight lip.
Huh.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:39):
Don't over talk, don't under talk, and let's make
some decisions, will ya?

SPEAKER_03 (01:29:43):
Okay, I'm gonna work on that.
I got homework.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:46):
Is there anything you want to share, Kelly?

SPEAKER_03 (01:29:51):
Be gentle.
Be gentle.
Approach me gently.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:56):
Aaron, you're amazing, and I love you, and I'm
gonna.
Assure you that if we rambleless and leave less decisions
hanging in the air, I won't bemean to you in any way, shape,
or form.
No, those are just what happensis I get into let's be honest,

(01:30:17):
podcasting is way more work thaneither one of us ever
anticipated going into thisproject would be.
So I'm talking about thisproject specifically and our
communication on this business,you know, even though it's not a
business, but this project thatwe're working on.
When we are engaged inconversation as sisters, and

(01:30:42):
we're just being sisters, I lovewhen Erin rambles and tells me
all of her great stories becausethey're fun and they're
entertaining and they'rebeautiful.
We have such a great time withthat.
And there really aren'tdecisions to be left hanging in
the air.
I think the Kurt Cold and Tightlipped is really only associated

(01:31:03):
with I my feelings can get hurtpersonally too.
And if I feel like I'm botheringErin or reminding her for the
second, fifth, or forty ninthtime, I'm being annoying.
And then I hesitate and holdback.
And so then I'm sacrificing mytime and also our time as

(01:31:30):
partners in this project toensure that we get things done
in the way that we need to getthem done to move forward.
And it's really just aboutprogress and about, you know,
not being perfect, but you know,meeting our deadlines or
delivering, you know, what wepromised we would get out at a
certain time or things likethat.

(01:31:50):
So that's that's really whatthose are.
It's really just in these kindof business-oriented
conversations.
Those are the three that jumpedoff the page to me.

SPEAKER_00 (01:32:00):
Well done, ladies.
Well done.
Now you have a little guidelineto help you out.
I thought we had greatconversations.
Don't you feel like that wasrobust?
We went a little deeper.
We we looked at some things, wewe came closer together in our
understanding of some wants andsome dislikes in communication,
which, if you guys work on that,it makes it even easier than it
is already for you guys tocommunicate.

(01:32:20):
And some people they have reallytough situations for
communication.
Imagine what this might do forthem.

SPEAKER_04 (01:32:26):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:32:28):
Well, we've got two more pages to go in the disc,
and this is these next twopages, I think, are a whole lot
of fun.
So if we go to page 11, we talkabout something called value to
the organization.
And just look at this as yourvalue in general, okay?
So it doesn't have to be aboutthe PIG or it can be, whatever
you decide.
It doesn't matter.
You get to choose.
The power is in your hands.

(01:32:48):
Now we have a list of eightbullet points for the value that
Aaron brings, the naturalbehavioral tendency she brings
to the table.
Think of it like a tool belt,you know, like a construction
worker's tool belt.
These are eight tools, Aaron,that you have in your tool bag
at the ready.
You don't have to buy them,invent them, or learn how to use
them.
They're there and they're at theready.

(01:33:09):
Whenever you need them, you canuse them.
And one of the reasons we showthis to people is to make sure
that you understand what's inyour wheelhouse, what's right
there, ready and accessible foryou every single day of your
life, everywhere you go andeverything you do.
And Kelly, the same is true foryou.
There's eight for you as well.
And what I'd like to do here isI'd like you guys to look each
other, look at each otherthrough your own lens of

(01:33:30):
perception.
So, Aaron, I would like you tolook at Kelly's column of values
and pick out the two that youlove the most about your sister.
And Kelly, I'd like you to lookat Aaron's and do the same
thing.
And if you guys both find thatthere are three things you
really love about your sister ora value that they really bring,
let's do three.
Got them?

SPEAKER_03 (01:33:50):
Got them.
That was easy.

SPEAKER_00 (01:33:52):
I know you both were very quick.
I watched your body language.
Speaking of watching bodylanguage, I'm like, wow, they
really made quick decisionshere.
Excellent, Kelly.
What are your top three thingsthat you really value about your
sister, Erin, from this list ofeight bullet points?

SPEAKER_04 (01:34:07):
I have a question for the listeners.
Can I read all eight and thentell you my top ones?
Absolutely.
Okay.
So Aaron's value ispeople-oriented, positive sense
of humor, accomplishes goalsthrough people, verbalizes her
feelings, builds confidence inothers, dependable team player,

(01:34:30):
creative problem solving, andbuilds good relationships.
And I agree with every singleone of those tools in her tool
belt.
If I had to pick three, becauseI'm not going to do just two,
unequivocally her positive senseof humor.
I love it, I admire it, I wantmore of it, I lean into it, I

(01:34:53):
depend on it, I enjoy it.
I just, it's one of the things Iabsolutely love about Erin the
most.
I also love that Erin verbalizesher feelings.
And I think it's one of thethings on this podcast
specifically that really createsa strong sense of connection and

(01:35:13):
relationship to especially ourguests that we have on.
She listens and then she reallyhas a way of verbalizing how she
feels about what she's heard orwhat she's thinking.
And with that, builds confidencein others.
And I think that by verbalizingher feelings and using her

(01:35:33):
positive sense of humor, that'swhat she does.
She builds confidence in otherpeople.
And I think that that's such abeautiful value that she brings
because it's the very thing thatshe's also looking for herself.

SPEAKER_00 (01:35:46):
How does that feel, Erin, to hear those three
wonderful things from yoursister?

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:50):
Fezing.
It feels so good.
Thank you.
I love you.
I love you too.

SPEAKER_00 (01:35:57):
All right.
Well done.
Erin, would you mind reading alleight of Kelly's and letting us
know which three really standout to you?

SPEAKER_03 (01:36:03):
Yes.
So Kelly's list of eight isself-reliant, accomplishes goals
through people, big thinker,optimistic and enthusiastic,
creative problem-solving,negotiates conflicts, builds
confidence in others, andpeople-oriented.
The first one is number three,big thinker.

(01:36:27):
I have so much admiration forhow big you think and dream and
believe about so many things.
You think outside the box andyou think far beyond anybody
that I actually have ever known.

(01:36:49):
You just see really far into thefuture.
You think about what can be, andyou take these beautiful ideas
and and just grow them.
And it's incredible.
And I've watched you do it in somany things.
Yes, on the PAG, but in yourwork and in the big backyard,

(01:37:10):
like children's book series,like just all of these things,
all these big, beautiful ideasthat you have, and you just run
with them.
And you have created so manyincredible things and continue
to do that.
So I really do, I really do lovehow big you think and dream and
believe.
So that's really cool.

(01:37:31):
And so I'm gonna follow thatactually with number four,
optimistic and enthusiastic,because you do it with such you
do all of those things and thinkabout all of those things with
such enthusiasm and a belief inyourself and a belief in what
can be.
And so I do think that you are avery optimistic person, and you

(01:37:54):
said it before, actually, justbelieving the best in people and
just the class is always mostlyfull.
It's not even half full, it'slike all the way full.
Might be like half full of waterand half full of air.
That makes it a hundred percentfull.
And I feel like absolutelythat's how you look at things,

(01:38:15):
and so that's really cool andvery admirable.
And then number five, creativeproblem solving.
We're just gonna go one, two,three right there in a row.
Um, I think that again, like Icould have picked any three of
these eight and really give anexplanation and put words and
value behind any of it, but youare a very creative problem

(01:38:37):
solver.
And I have seen it in work andin personal life, with me
personally, with your kids, withMarcus, with family members, and
all of the things is if somebodycomes to you with a dilemma or a
problem, you are very quick tothink of ways to get through

(01:38:59):
that, to solve a problem, to getthrough a conflict, to face
adversity.
And you have such a beautiful,eloquent way of speaking and
articulating those thoughts.
And so I really I respect andadmire you a lot.
And I always know that I cancome to you with an issue or a

(01:39:22):
problem, however big or small,because you're gonna guide and
direct me in a really thoughtfulway.

SPEAKER_00 (01:39:31):
I hope that the listeners could really feel how
good that was, right?
Kelly, how good did that feel?

SPEAKER_04 (01:39:37):
Well, I'm teary.

SPEAKER_00 (01:39:39):
So that was very touching.

SPEAKER_04 (01:39:45):
I mean it.
To spend time recognizing eachother's value, whether it's your
sister, a sibling, a partner, ahusband, a spouse, a mother, a
father, a family member, a teammember, if it's like no matter

(01:40:05):
who it is, but to have this kindof opportunity to not only
express those feelings towardsothers, but to have them
reflected back to you is areally powerful thing to
experience.
And it is deeply connecting.

SPEAKER_00 (01:40:24):
This is my favorite page to work on with people when
I work with couples or I workwith team members because people
say things to other people andexplain it in certain ways that
you watch people just growcloser together.
You you watch them knit closertogether and their bonds grow
stronger, whether it's personalor professional, husband and
wife, or brother and sister, itmakes no difference.
You know, it's just it'sbeautiful to think of a person

(01:40:47):
and to be able to share thegreat things that you see about
them from this page and to talkabout that with emotion and real
genuine sincerity and to watchthat transform people right
before your eyes.
It's one of my great gifts thatI receive as a coach is watching
things like we just watchedhappen right now.
It's lovely.
Well done, ladies.
I'm so happy for both of you.
I hope your hearts are full.

SPEAKER_03 (01:41:08):
They are well.

SPEAKER_00 (01:41:12):
Our last page is page 12, and this is a very
interesting page, another one ofmy favorite pages.
And basically, what this page iscalled perceptions, and it's how
each of you break down underpressure based on your dominant
behavioral style.
So for Aaron, that's going to beS, and for Kelly, that's going
to be I.
Now, Aaron, you may see some ofboth of these in you simply

(01:41:36):
because your I and your S are soequal in height, but you are we
are talking about your dominant,the one you lead with in your
personal life, your S and Kelly,your I.
So if we take the top line onpage 12 where it says Aaron
usually sees herself as being,and Kelly usually sees herself
as being, let's just see whatthis says.
So, Kelly, will you readAaron's?

SPEAKER_04 (01:41:58):
Yes.
Erin usually sees herself asbeing considerate, thoughtful,
good natured, and dependable.

SPEAKER_00 (01:42:06):
Now, on a good day when everything's right, you've
got enough sleep, you're notsick, you feel good, you're just
balanced inside.
This is how you feel aboutyourself, and this is how other
people see you from the outsidetoo.
This is the Erin that they know.
Okay.
Now, Aaron, why don't you readKelly's top line?

SPEAKER_03 (01:42:24):
Kelly usually sees herself as being enthusiastic,
outgoing, charming, andinspiring.

SPEAKER_00 (01:42:32):
And again, on her good days, when she's feeling
good, when she's notoverwhelmed, not tired or sick
or whatever.
This is how Carol Kelly walksthrough the world, and this is
how people see her too from theoutside looking in.
Let me ask you two this Kelly,do you see your sister as being
considerate, thoughtful, goodnatured, and dependable?

SPEAKER_04 (01:42:50):
1000%.

SPEAKER_00 (01:42:52):
Aaron, do you see Kelly as being enthusiastic,
outgoing, charming, andinspiring?

SPEAKER_03 (01:42:56):
Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_00 (01:42:58):
This is how this works.
You see, the people around uscan see us, it's their
perceptions of us and ourperceptions of ourselves.
Now, when we start to get undermoderate pressure, overwhelm,
stress, fatigue, when we startto break down under pressure,
what happens is that ourdominant behavioral style starts
to blow itself up like a balloonin order to try to carry us

(01:43:19):
through this stressful event.
And sometimes it's it's too muchfor the job, but it's we start
to show up a little different toother people.
We may not notice these thingsabout ourselves.
And most of the time I findpeople do not notice these
things about themselves.
But the people outside them andaround them that are looking in
upon them as they work withthem, live with them, they start

(01:43:39):
to see these things.
So, Kelly, under moderatepressure, stress, tension,
fatigue, how might others seeAaron?

SPEAKER_04 (01:43:47):
Non-demonstrative, hesitant, unconcerned, or
inflexible.

SPEAKER_00 (01:43:53):
That's very different than considerate,
thoughtful, good natured, anddependable, right?
She's starting to change, she'sstarting to morph into a
different version of herselfunder pressure.
Non-demonstrative just meansthat Aaron is an expressive
person.
She talks, you can see facialexpressions.
She smiles, she laughs, she usesher hands when she talks
sometimes.
When she starts to get stressedout, in all likelihood, Erin is

(01:44:14):
going to start to drop thosethings and go more to a poker
face because she's feeling moreand more unstable, uh, insecure,
threatened, possibly even, orjust not in balance.
Hesitancy is going to come inwith she's even more hesitant to
move forward or make a decisionbecause she's starting to get in
a precarious situation inside ofherself.

(01:44:34):
I don't know what to do, so I'mgoing to do nothing.
She sort of starts to freeze upand then unconcerned.
She's deeply concerned, butshe's just not showing it
because she's got a poker faceon.
She's non-demonstrative.
And so she looks unconcerned tothem when inside she doesn't
feel good at all.
She's very concerned aboutwhat's going on, all likelihood.
Inflexible, she starts to reallykind of seize up now.

(01:44:57):
I'm not really, I'm losing someof my flexibility to move with
situations as are happening, andI'm starting to seize up a
little bit under pressure.
Aaron, does that soundreasonable for how you operate
under moderate pressure?

SPEAKER_03 (01:45:11):
Yes, very much so.
Because even like I said before,I feel like when I am under
pressure and I kind of shutdown, you know, whether it's
self-imposed or external forcesupon me, then yes, I can
absolutely identify with each ofthese and I can feel myself

(01:45:31):
progressing through thesechanges when they're happening.

SPEAKER_00 (01:45:36):
Kelly, can you see these things happen in your
sister when she's under moderatepressure from the outside
looking in?

SPEAKER_04 (01:45:41):
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
Unequivocally.

unknown (01:45:44):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:45:45):
Well, let's go over and take a look at Kelly's under
moderate pressure.
We start to see that she becomesself-promoting, overly
optimistic, glib, andunrealistic.
These would be the tendencies ofa high-eye person.
Self-promoting has to do withtrying to prove their worth,
that what they're doing isnecessary, that they're doing a
good job, that they're valuable.

(01:46:06):
It's a way of to feed that needof inherent need to be liked.
Okay.
They're trying to make sure thatthe person still looks upon them
favorably, and that's why theyself-promote.
Overly optimistic.
They're optimistic to beginwith.
Kelly is a high-eye, highlyoptimistic human being to begin
with.
But as this balloon blows itselfup to carry her through the
stress, she becomes even moreoptimistic.

(01:46:27):
That's how she tries to getthrough it.
It's a coping mechanism.
Blib, anything that's seriousthat could really detract from
the situation, I'm going todownplay.
It's not that big of a deal.
We can handle it.
I got it.
That kind of a thing.
And then unrealistic andunrealistic in what she can do,
or unrealistic in what otherpeople might be able to do in
the situation.
Does that sound accurate, Kelly?

SPEAKER_04 (01:46:49):
Oh, absolutely.
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (01:46:50):
Aaron, have you seen that in your sister when through
the course of your life withher?

SPEAKER_03 (01:46:54):
Yeah, I have.

SPEAKER_00 (01:46:56):
Okay.
Well, lastly, the the bottomlevel is we're really starting
to get under a lot of pressurenow.
We call this extreme pressure,stress, or fatigue.
It may even be at the leadingedge or in amygdala hijack, is
where you may see some of thesethings, where that fight or
flight scenario comes on, thebrain isn't really functioning
at a high level because uh bloodflow and air oxygen have been

(01:47:16):
allocated to other parts of thebody, and we become reactive and
not so responsive anymore.
So, in that situation, if we goback to Erin, she may show up as
possessive, detached,insensitive, and stubborn.
These are just stronger aspectsof what we saw in the line above
under moderate pressure.
Detached, she is so poker facedin the state.

(01:47:37):
She's so not showing you anyemotion at all that to the
outside person looking in, itlooks like she doesn't care.
She's just detached from thesituation when she's probably
really suffering with thesituation greatly, but nobody
else knows it because she'scontained it.
Stubborn, she already has alittle bit of that in her.
And in this situation whereshe's under a lot of pressure,

(01:47:57):
she's not working at her highestlevel possible, she's going to
freeze in position.
It's almost like a deer in theheadlights.
I don't know what to do here, soI'm not going anywhere.
The insensitive part, becauseshe's not showing motion again,
people think she just may not befeeling anything about the
situation.
But unbeknownst to them, she'sprobably agonizing the
situation.
And possessive is of two things.

(01:48:19):
Either one, possessive ofinformation.
If she's really under a lot ofpressure and stress and she has
some information that couldcompromise her position, her
safety, her security, orsomebody else's, she may
withhold that information to tryto keep it down on the low so
nothing bad happens to her oranybody else.
If it has to do with arelationship, and that
relationship that she values sodeeply is trying to move away

(01:48:42):
from her, she may try to latchonto that relationship and pull
it back and not let it goanywhere because she values that
relationship and doesn't want itto leave.
So that's the two ways that aperson like Karen can be
possessive.
Does this all make sense to you,Aaron?

SPEAKER_03 (01:48:56):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

unknown (01:48:58):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:48:58):
You've seen these things in yourself?

SPEAKER_03 (01:49:00):
Yes, I have.
Not very proud of that.
But yes.

SPEAKER_00 (01:49:05):
It's okay.
We all have these.
You know, whether you're D I Sor C in the model, we all have
how we break down underpressure.
And I'll explain in a minute whythis is so powerful to not
really care for the bottom twolayers because that's going to
keep us in the top layer if weknow how to get there.

SPEAKER_02 (01:49:18):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:49:18):
And then Kelly, under extreme pressure, stress,
fatigue, or overwhelm, overlyconfident, talkative, poor
listener, self-promoter.
People who are high eyesnaturally are not the best
listeners because they're moreinterested in interacting.
You really have to trainourselves as high eyes to be
good listeners because we wantto talk.
We want to tell our next story.

(01:49:38):
And so, in a really tensesituation, Kelly may show up as
even more talkative than normal.
She may come across as overlyconfident, trying to sort of put
up a front because she's notreally sure if she's can do it
or not.
But I'm going to put up thatfront.
I want to make sure that peoplethink I can do it.
She may be a poorer listener,and she may do some more of that
self-promoting to really try topresent herself as someone who's

(01:50:01):
valuable, needed in this moment,etc., to keep their positive
perspective of her alive.
Kelly, do you recognize some ofthese things about yourself?

SPEAKER_04 (01:50:10):
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
I can name specific extremepressure, stress, fatigue,
overwhelm situations where thesethings have absolutely shown up.
I can reflect on it almostimmediately.

SPEAKER_00 (01:50:23):
That's wonderful to be able to just have a device
like this at one page, if youwill, that you can look at and
recognize yourself as you breakdown under pressure.
And also how other people breakdown under pressure.
And what I want to share is thatif you don't like level three
and you don't like level two,your job is to get back to level
one, right?
This is where emotionalintelligence comes to bear.

(01:50:44):
This is where we want tode-escalate ourselves or seek
out the assistance of a friendor family member or anybody who
can help us de-escalateourselves, work through whatever
challenge we're having so thatwe come back to a state of
equilibrium and emotionalbalance within ourselves, and we
can once again live in thatconsiderate, thoughtful, good
natured, dependable reality thatAaron lives in normally, and

(01:51:06):
that enthusiastic, outgoing,charming, inspiring environment
that Kelly normally lives in.
In other words, this page isreally designed to heighten your
level of self-awareness so thatyou can catch yourself in those
lower levels, stop what you'redoing, take a timeout, do some
breath work, whatever you needto do, take a walk, take lunch
early, et cetera, in order tojust get back into the better

(01:51:26):
version of you.
And the last thing I'd like toshare about this particular page
is that if you know, if you canrecognize that another person is
in level two or three, whenyou're trying to talk to them,
you have to understand in levelthree, chances are not much of
it's making it in and it's notsticking if it is.
They really can't hear otherpeople because it's so reactive
at that point, it's so emotionalat that point that their

(01:51:48):
rational brain isn't workingvery well.
So if you have somethingimportant to talk to each other
about, and you know that one ofyou or both of you is in one of
these lower levels, talk to eachother for a minute first about
hey, how are you doing?
What's going on?
Clear the air a little bit, helpthe other person decompress a
little bit to catch their breathagain, and then you guys talk
about what really mattersbecause then you guys can really

(01:52:09):
communicate and really hear eachother.
It's a really neat little tool,this page.

SPEAKER_04 (01:52:13):
I will say personally, this has always been
one of my very, very, veryfavorite pages in this entire
assessment.
And one of the reasons is whenwe're breaking down, we think
internally that we're being moreof what we usually see ourselves

(01:52:34):
as and what other people usuallysee us as.
So I think I'm being moreenthusiastic, outgoing,
charming, and inspiring when infact people are perceiving
self-promoting, overlyoptimistic, glib, unrealistic,
overly confident, talkative, andpoor listening.

(01:52:54):
And becoming aware of that andcombining that with
self-awareness andself-regulation and growing
those skills over time havehelped me express to other
people and be open to otherpeople expressing to me that I'm
in one of these lower levels, orthey are seeing me in these

(01:53:16):
lower levels if I'm not seeingmyself there.
And having this awareness onthis page literally is one of
the most transformative momentsI've ever had in my life to
understand that this is actuallyhow I'm breaking down, but more
importantly, how I am beingperceived by others when I think

(01:53:38):
I'm just being more of who I am.
I'm just like you said, Marcus,so beautifully, you're inflating
all of that like a balloon.

SPEAKER_00 (01:53:46):
Yeah.
It's a very powerful page.
I agree.
I agree.

SPEAKER_03 (01:53:50):
I will also say on the other side, that having this
page and knowing these thingsabout somebody else is
incredible.

SPEAKER_01 (01:54:02):
Yes.

SPEAKER_03 (01:54:03):
Having the self-awareness and knowing all
of these things about yourselfis one thing.
And ha having the the knowledgethen of, you know, if I'm under
pressure, I'm doing thesethings, other people might be
perceiving me in this way.
But on the flip side of it, thenfor me to have this knowledge of

(01:54:24):
Kelly and knowing how sheusually is, but then under
pressure, these things arecoming out, then really for the
first time ever, I'm looking atthis list and going, oh shoot.
Like if I see Kelly acting acertain way or, you know,

(01:54:46):
whatever it is, then for me tohave the knowledge of going, oh
shoot, like she must be reallystressed or tired or under
extreme pressure, you know?
And so then to have that, wow,just to be able then to know
that about her changes then myapproach, like being able to

(01:55:08):
recognize that within her, andthen being able to be like,
instead of being like, Oh, she'sjust really confident.

SPEAKER_00 (01:55:14):
What's her problem today?

SPEAKER_03 (01:55:16):
She's being bitchy for me to be like, yeah, instead
of being like, Oh, she's being areal bitch, to be like, oh
shoot, like, is she okay?

SPEAKER_00 (01:55:25):
It goes from like, what's her problem today?
What does she need?
What does she need?
How can I help her?
It changes your angle on theperson.
I love that you said that,Aaron.
It's so powerful and strong, itchanges your angle on the person
instead of taking it personally,like, oh man, Kelly might need a
conversation here before we dowhat we're really supposed to do
today, or vice versa.
And then you guys get to helpeach other, support each other,

(01:55:47):
nurture each other into yourbest state before you do
whatever you're going to do.
Wow.
Wow.
Think of the power andrelationship there.

SPEAKER_04 (01:55:55):
Victory.
Yeah.
Incredible.
That's so cool.

SPEAKER_00 (01:55:59):
And that's the disc assessment.
We just did your disc comparisonreport, which is a narrowed-down
version of a full disc, didreally have a meaningful
conversation about the two ofyou.

SPEAKER_04 (01:56:09):
Well, Marcus, thank you so much.
This has been so eye-opening forthe two of us and to look at
ourselves side by side.
As we kind of close out thissection of the conversation,
because we're going to continuewith the driving forces.
As we think about life, love,loss, legacy, and the stories

(01:56:31):
that we're telling and sharingour own and others, and we're
really thinking about peoplenavigating these beautiful
experiences of their life, butalso some very complicated and
challenging experiences of theirlife.
What are some ways that you canreally see people utilizing this
information to help themnavigate what they face in their

(01:56:54):
life journey?

SPEAKER_00 (01:56:56):
I think anytime that you can understand another human
being better than you currentlydo, you will always be in a
better position to communicatewith them, to relate to them, to
support them, to encourage them,to challenge them when they need
it in challenging moments aswell.
It's just the more you know, themore you can do, the better you

(01:57:17):
can be.
And I just feel very so stronglybecause I've done so many
thousands of these work with somany thousands of people and
seen the changes in myself andin others that when we really
understand another human beingbetter than we currently do, we
put ourselves in a betterposition to be better with them
and to share life at a higherlevel with them, whether it is a
high or a low, a challenge or avictory.

(01:57:39):
It really ties us together, itsews us up.
And I think more than ever, weall need to come together in our
lives individually and just dowhat we can to be there with
each other and for each otherand to inspire each other.
Amazing.
We'll do driving forces next,which is a little bit shorter,
but it also will finish withintegration.

(01:58:00):
So these potential strengthswill come out of both your disc
and driving forces being puttogether.
It's a lot of fun.
So we'll get to do these as justthese pages right here.
I'll kind of show you guys aprecursor.
So basically, your scores,similarities and differences,
right?
I mean, right off the bat, thesetwo bottom ones are different.
We can see that you shareharmonious and the rest of your

(01:58:20):
values are different.
So when your mom said you guysare so alike, but you're so
different, behaviorally, youhave a lot of similarities with
some differences, butvalue-wise, you're different.
And this comes to play, thisbubbles up into your behavior.
We're also gonna get to see yourscores here, the differences
between you, how steep or howclose the scores are all the way
throughout.
What are Aaron's strengths, thelimitations you both might have,

(01:58:42):
what energizes both of you basedon your driving forces, what may
stress you out based on yourdriving forces, your primary
cluster, and then we're gonnaget a chance to look at your
graphs side by side, and thenwe'll go back in, and this is
where we blend your behaviorsand your motivators.
What are Aaron's strengths whenwe do that?
What are Kelly's strengths?
I'll have you guys pick those,conflicts that you may have, and

(01:59:04):
then ideal environment.

SPEAKER_04 (01:59:06):
I can't wait.
The fun is just gonna keepgetting funner because it is fun
being us.
It is fun being us.

SPEAKER_03 (01:59:16):
Life is great.
It is great.

(01:59:54):
If something in this episodemoved you, please consider
sharing it with someone youlove.
A small share can make a Bigimpact.
You can also join us onInstagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn
and connect further at the PIGPodcast.com.

SPEAKER_04 (02:00:08):
And if you're enjoying this podcast, one of
the most meaningful ways you cansupport us is by leaving a
five-star rating, writing ashort review, or simply letting
us know your thoughts.
Your feedback helps us reachothers and reminds us why we do
this work.

SPEAKER_03 (02:00:23):
Because the PIG isn't just a podcast.
It's a place to remember thateven in the midst of grief, life
goes on, resilience matters, andlove never leaves.
Thanks for being on this journeywith us.
Until next time, hogs andkisses, everyone!

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