April 23, 2025 • 47 mins
In this special P-I-G Afterthoughts episode, Kellie and Erin circle back to reflect on their powerful conversation with Gini Thomas—whose story of love, loss, and resilience is still echoing in their hearts.
They unpack the layers of Gini’s journey: meeting the love of her life, surviving the accident that took him, navigating 24 surgeries and an eventual amputation, and ultimately becoming a fierce advocate for herself and others.
Along the way, The Sisters explore their own experiences with trauma, motherhood, faith, and the power of showing up for one another. From "Eeyore days" to gratitude lists, this honest and heartfelt conversation is a reminder that we all have the capacity to rise—and to carry legacy forward, even in our hardest seasons.
April is Limb Loss and Limb Difference Awareness Month—and this reflection continues the conversation with deep respect and gratitude for Gini and all who walk this path.
Resources & Links:
- Connect with Gini Thomas at https://linktr.ee/ginithomas
- Celebrate April's Limb Loss & Limb Difference Awareness Month
- Learn more about & support The Limb Preservation Foundation
Ways to Connect:
If you have a story to share, please reach out & connect...we'd love to hear from you and have a conversation. You can learn more about The P-I-G and listen or link to all episodes at https://www.thepigpodcast.com. Connect on social at:
- https://www.facebook.com/podcast.thePIG
- https://www.instagram.com/thepigpodcast
- https://discord.gg/dd4n4ArMtc
- OWN: visit our website to scan the QR code.
Hearing the stories of others helps us create a more meaningful connection to our own because, “Legacy isn’t just what we leave behind—it’s how we live right now." If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe on your favorite podcast platform, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend, loved one, or anyone navigating their own journey through life, love, loss, and legacy.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
The Sisters (00:06):
Kellie & E
life, love, loss and legacythrough real conversations and
meaningful stories, with purpose, intention and gratitude.
We're your hosts.
I'm Kellie, and I'm Erin.
We're sisters, best friends,sometimes polar opposites, but
always deeply connected by thelife, love, loss and legacy of
an incredible woman, our motherMarsha.
(00:28):
Today we're doing somethingnew: our very first P-I-G
Afterthoughts.
These are reflective sisterchats where we circle back after
our a powerful guestconversation to unpack what
stayed with us.
Think of it as a time toprocess out loud, together, with
you.
If you listened to our lastepisode with Gini Thomas, you
(00:49):
already know just how deeply itmoved us.
Gini story of loss, resilience,and quiet strength is one that
doesn't leave your heart easily,and we've been thinking about
it ever since.
So we're taking time today tosit with that story, highlight
the moments that struck us most,and share how it's changed the
way we think about love, grief,healing and showing up for
(01:11):
others, and ourselves.
We hope it inspires you toreflect too, and maybe even
share your own thoughts with usafter the episode.
For now, settle in, take a deepbreath and let's dive into our
PIG Afterthoughts.
Kellie (01:41):
Well, hello, Sister! It's so good to see you and be
back for episode number seven.
Erin (01:52):
Hi, Sister! It's so good to be here with you today too,
and I am really looking forwardto our very first PIG
Afterthoughts and reflecting onour incredible interview with
Gini Thomas.
Kellie (02:00):
Yeah, that episode-- Still Here, Still
Standing--well, all of ourepisodes, have been absolutely
amazing to me; the stories thatwe've heard, the journeys that
have been told and shared, butGini specifically, could have
easily been three or fourindividual episodes.
So, as we unpack ourafterthoughts today around the
(02:24):
multiple layers of the lossesshe experienced so early in her
life, I really hope ourlisteners, if they haven't
already, will go back and listento her full story in detail.
And, in celebration andawareness of Limb Loss and Limb
Difference Awareness Month,which is the month of April, we
(02:51):
thought that this would be areally great way to continue to
highlight a key aspect of herjourney.
Erin (02:54):
Yeah, definitely.
I think that the timing isperfect for us to continue to
reflect not only on Gini storybut to draw awareness to Limb
Loss and Limb DifferenceAwareness month.
And, like you said, this couldhave been so many different
episodes because, yes, she didlose her leg in an accident, but
that same accident claimed thelife of her husband.
(03:16):
She's also experienced the lossof her mom like we have..
.
she's had a lot of lifeexperience in her short 40-year
life.
Kellie (03:25):
Well, she certainly has.
What really struck me were thethemes of that specific episode,
which are the themes really ofall The P-I-G episodes, right,
around life love, loss andlegacy that the concepts are
really endless.
But when we think about Gini'sability to find gratitude in
(03:49):
even the darkest moments, that'sa really key aspect that stuck
out for me, especially with hermom.
And we know gratitude well--it's part of our P-I-G: purpose
intention and gratitude-- butthat was really a defining part
of the episode and somethingthat I've really been reflecting
a lot on over the last week orso since we chatted with her.
(04:10):
But also resilience, her faith,her healing journey, her
honesty about how raw and realthat has been for her, and
that's something you and I talkabout all the time too, and
it'll be fun to explore thesethemes today in our
(04:30):
afterthoughts as we not onlyreflect on Gini story, but also
on our own.
Erin (04:35):
Yeah, I completely agree with that.
A nd that attitude of gratitudeis something we have talked a
lot about over the years andsomething that Gini embodies
completely.
It's so inspiring, her abilityto find the good in all things.
(04:56):
In her life, with everythingthat she has faced, it is really
remarkable.
A nd that same message reallycame through in, you know, our
interview with my friend Wendyand her loss and, like you said,
it's come across and it's beena recurring theme in all of our
episodes.
But no question that Gini' s isa very inspiring story.
Kellie (05:29):
So let's start at the beginning of her story, which is
the accident in August of 2012.
It was exactly 17 months to theday that she had married the
love of her life, Joe.
Their story of how they met wasso sweet and fun.
She took this extra course forcollege and wound up
participating in theater andacting (something that was so
(05:51):
far out of her comfort zone),was scantily clothed sitting at
the bar, and the air conditionerwas blowing.
A nd Joe was in the band and hecame over and chatted with her
and the rest was history.
I loved the story of how theymet and their instant connection
.
She was supposed to fly out thenext day to go visit her (then)
(06:14):
boyfriend, they both wound upbreaking up with their other
people, and they entered into arelationship that just sounds
like it was so beautiful, soloving and so connected, which
is something that both you and Ireally value and treasure, and
so starting there seems to melike such a meaningful place to
(06:36):
begin our afterthoughts withGini story.
Erin (06:40):
Yeah, I completely agree.
There were several things thatshe talked about in that story
about their meeting that, yes,is so sweet.
And I really want our listenersto go back and listen, but to
speak for myself (and I know youecho this as things we both
(07:09):
really value in our own currentrelationships), that was really
great.
You know, they really builttheir relationship in the
kitchen, around food, which Iknow is something that you and
Marcus do and value, and that'ssomething that Jason and I do
and value, and so it was reallyfun to hear about that.
(07:30):
It was also really fun for me,and I did not know this before
our interview, that Joe wasalmost 20 years older than her.
I love that she shared that andI have giggled several times
thinking back on the fact thatthere just was a one week
(07:50):
difference-- he was 19 years and51 weeks older than her, and so
there's a one week where he was19 years older than her, not 20
.
And that's the time that she wasgoing to tell her parents about
their relationship, because shethought 19 years sounded better
than 20.
So, yeah, just it's a fun story.
I t's a beautiful love story,and their relationship did have
(08:15):
a really strong foundation, andit was built on love and honesty
.
.
.
just really, really beautifulfrom the get go.
Kellie (08:31):
Yeah, it is truly one of those authentic love stories.
It's so funny you brought upthe 19 years and 51 weeks
because I was going to echo yourthoughts with "uh-uh, that
wasn't quite 20 years, they hadthat one week.
And that's what's going to makeit okay for mom and dad.
It makes the concept of havinglost that love and I'm so happy
that they dated and celebratedtheir love and built their
(08:51):
relationship over a few years.
But that accident happened 17months to the day and that
really is standout in the sensethat they were just beginning
their journey together.
It makes me think about myrelationship with Marcus (and if
people want to get to knowMarcus and Jason, number one,
(09:11):
they can keep listening to thepodcast because we're going to
have many more conversationswith both of those amazing men,
but they can go back and listento episodes two and three, which
is a two-part series where wetalk with them very openly and
honestly about their experienceswith life, love, loss and the
legacy that they desire to leaveas partners, fathers and
(09:34):
leaders; such a beautifulconversation).
And I was thinking about thecooking and building
relationships around food andhaving you and Jason here late
last year and how much fun thefour of us had in the kitchen.
Erin (09:49):
Yeah
Kellie (09:49):
In fact, Marcus and I were just watching ( we love
cooking shows, which probablycomes as no surprise.
.
.
n ature shows and cooking shows!), but last night we were
watching Chef's Table-- and ifyou've never seen it, I really
encourage you to watch it andour listeners, especially if you
like cooking shows at all; goto Netflix (h ere's my plug!)
(10:10):
and watch every episode you canof Chef's Table.
We watch them over and over andover and over again.
Last night's episode was a womanwho was from Savannah, Georgia,
as a little (which is, I know,a place that you and Jason have
visited) and the culinary andEpicurean culture that is so
steeped in Southern cooking.
(10:32):
She moved to New York and wasgoing to live there forever and
she wound up getting into foodand becoming a chef, and she was
talking about the roots of herchildhood in the South and she
had no idea how she was going tobecome a chef in fine dining to
the level that she wanted to.
(10:54):
.
.
until she tapped back into theroots of her family's history in
the South.
And she had this opportunity tobecome a partner in a
restaurant that happened to beopening in Savannah, Georgia,
and so the path that got laidout for her to explore this love
(11:14):
she had for Southern cooking.
Anyhow, the rest is history asshe's a very famous chef now.
B ut one of the things she saidis that, if you want to get to
know people and the heart of whothey really are, you do it
around the table with food.
Erin (11:30):
It's true, it bonds people .
You know, and you think aboutit, like so often in my life
before Jason right, if I wantedto socialize or, you know, meet
with a friend or whatever it was.
.
.
you go out to eat, you go outto happy hour, you know?
And I don't know if that's aworld thing, you know, or if
(11:54):
it's a humanity thing, but it'sdefinitely a cultural thing here
.
It's a bonding experience.
And it'd be interesting tomaybe even have a deeper
conversation at some pointaround that.
You know, Jason and I's firstdate.
.
.
we went out to dinner, you know, because that's what you do and
you sit and you eat and youtalk and you get to know people.
(12:16):
But there is something reallymagical about having that
experience in your own home, inyour own kitchen, with the
people that you love.
You know, whether it's apartner, or your children.
I love being in the kitchen withmy kids and rubbing elbows with
them, you know, and creatingstuff.
(12:37):
My oldest son, Weston, who's 20, has become a great cook.
He loves to cook and so that's,you know, something that's
developing in our mother- sonrelationship and it's just a
bonding experience, no matterwho you're doing it with.
So I love it.
Kellie (12:55):
And I don't want to get too far off G ini and make this
all about us, but I do want topiggyback off that ( pun
intended!) because, you know,Marcus and I building our
relationship around food, justlike you and Jason have built
yours, and you keep going outfor Monday night date nights,
which I completely love, and Ithink it's such a great example.
(13:16):
I love that all of our childrenhave this passion and desire
for playing with food, exploringfood, cooking together.
Lily and Marcos have fun withus; we text pictures back and
forth of what we're making and,as you know, we have a family
recipes cookbook that is now inand will be a part of our
(13:40):
families forever, and so I lovethat.
Gini and Joe built theirrelationship around food, and
she was so honest and said "itwasn't that either one of us
were any good at it right, hedid the entrees and I did the
desserts, but still, that'swhere we came together, that's
where we fell in love, that'swhere we got to know each other
and that's where we had thosereally special, sacred moments.
(14:03):
So, if we fast forward to thataccident in August of 2012, what
really struck me about that daywas it was just a normal,
average, everyday day.
They had to go to Home Depot tobuy an industrial snake because
the tree roots kept gettingcaught in their pipes.
(14:25):
I mean, which of us, on aSaturday, hasn't had to dive
into chores and get delayedbecause we had to attend to
things that needed to get donebefore we went and did what we
were planning to do, which, forthem, was going to visit his
mother an hour out of town?
The other thing that reallystruck me was and we know this
(14:47):
anytime you do anything,everything has to fall perfectly
in place for anything to happenin any one given moment of time
and how far back that rolls isreally unbelievable.
So the fact that they gotT-boned by a car that ran a stop
sign after they'd done allthese chores, finally gotten on
(15:10):
the motorcycle, decided to takethe safe route instead of the
highway route, which should havebeen the safe route, and then,
in a split second, life changedforever.
(15:31):
Yeah, understanding immediatelythat she was in shock but she
was alive, knowing immediately,looking at Joe, that he was not,
and even though she didn't sayit, I had the very distinct
understanding, as she explainedthat moment, that she made a
(15:55):
conscious decision to live.
Erin (15:58):
Yeah, I agree completely.
It's a really powerful story tolisten to and, you know, she
talks about how she knew shemust have been in shock because
she didn't feel any pain.
But she looked down and washaving thoughts about, "oh, my
bone looks really yellow.
I didn't know bones were thatyellow, you know, and her leg
(16:21):
was completely shattered.
And to have the thoughts thatshe did about I need to give
people information, because I'mprobably going to pass out and
you know, to be in that shockand to not be experiencing pain
in that moment and, like yousaid, for her to have a pretty
good understanding in a momentof her status, joe's status, you
(16:45):
know.
And then the paramedics andeverything arrived and as they
were taking her away, she talksabout how they clicked her into
that ambulance and that's wheneverything shifted and she
started experiencing pain and,you know, she was unconscious
for about a week and when shewoke up about a week later she
(17:05):
had already had three surgerieson her leg.
We don't talk about thisactually in the episode, but I
learned this about her when Ihad had dinner with her the week
before was that they didn't--they being her family and the
people around her, her doctors--they didn't want her to wake up
to find out that she had losther husband and lost her leg.
(17:27):
They didn't realize that shewas already aware of that.
She had already been aware thatshe had lost Joe and, I think,
was anticipating the fact thatshe would lose her leg.
She had those consciousthoughts before then.
She was basically in amedically induced coma for a
(17:47):
week, and so they performed alot of their limb salvage
surgeries in hopes that theycould do that so that she
wouldn't wake up to multiplelosses.
So they thought they werebasically doing her a favor, but
not understanding the level ofawareness that she had already
(18:08):
had about the situation, which Ithought was really fascinating
as well.
Kellie (18:11):
I have to tell you, as the mother-- bonus mom-- of a
child, and Gini was in hermid-ish 20s.
.
.
w asn't she like 25 or 26roughly, when that accident?
somewhere right in there whenthat accident happened?
Erin (18:28):
I think 27.
Kellie (18:29):
That sounds about right.
We have a daughter who was in anear tragic head-on collision
with a Ford F-250 in the fall of2018.
S he was 17 years old and thatis every parent's worst
nightmare, right, that telephonecall, or that discovery.
.
.
which you know,We're exploring our own family
(18:52):
and our own stories and our ownconnection to The Boxes, which--
if listeners don't know whatthat is, go back and listen to
episode one so you can get allcaught up on who we are and
where we're going with thispodcast--b ut today we are
recording on Good Friday, and onGood Friday, April 17th, which
(19:14):
was yesterday, in 1981 ( andwe're going to talk about this
again on some future episodeswith our dad and also as we talk
about loss through the decadesthat we've been alive).
Today marks 44 years since oursister, Laurie, died in a car
accident with her two bestfriends.
(19:35):
So it is a little timely thatwe're having all of these
conversations and today'sAfterthoughts episode-- not just
reflecting on Gini journey andstory, but it's also really
spurred in me a lot of thoughtsaround Savannah's accident and
what happened around that time.
She had to be cut out of thatcar with Jaws for Life.
(19:58):
She had to be airlifted to thehospital, and it took months and
months and months to help herrecover.
She has a rod in her femur; w ewere lucky to be able to keep
her leg.
She also broke nearly everysingle bone in her face; s he
had a full frontal Le Fortfracture.
So, multiple surgeries.
And how individuals comethrough accidents like that.
(20:22):
Unfortunately, Laurie and hertwo best friends back in 1981
did not survive their accident;i t was tragic, it was deadly,
and it was on Easter weekend.
I mean, it's kind of a triplewhammy for that one.
But one of the things thatreally struck me with Gini is
her immediate question to thedoctor that day that she got off
(20:46):
her trach and her ventilatorand she was conscious after she
and her mom had shared themoment about yes, Joe is gone,
and they cried together and had,though that moment that you
know, had to be so special forthe two of them, especially
knowing that Gini then laterloses her mom to her kidney
(21:10):
disease and to dementia.
So there was kind ofcompounding loss there.
But her first question to thedoctor was, "do you think this
leg will really work again?
Like I saw that leg when I wason scene at the accident and
that memory of this leg isreally broken, and broken badly,
(21:30):
and what I heard from her waskind of deciding to go along
with all the limb salvages forthe multiple years that they did
that, even knowing that thechances of getting that limb,
that leg, back to full use wasmaybe 60% at the most.
But it seemed to me that shehad this conscious awareness and
(21:53):
started that grief process ofokay, I'm grieving my husband,
I've got to put that in thisbucket.
My leg is in a totallydifferent bucket, which is over
here.
But it seemed to me that shewas starting that grief process
even long before they decided toamputate above the knee and
then subsequent surgeries keptcutting off more and cutting off
(22:15):
more and cutting off morebecause of all the problems she
was having and eventually beingable to get to that bone implant
surgery that she was luckily agreat candidate for?
Erin (22:25):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I know I keep coming backto it, but it's the strength.
I t's her strength through itall.
And I know we'll probably talkabout this as we go in this
episode and recap, but thequestions that she asked from
day one and the path that shehad to go down to really become
(22:47):
her own number one advocate forwhat she needed and wanted in
terms of health care.
We talk about how theseincidents, the trauma, these
life-altering moments impact usforever, or and how they impact
us, and there are so many thingsthat I've thought about since
(23:07):
that episode that have caused meto pause and reflect on some of
my own moments with different,varying levels of trauma, I
should say, you know, in my lifeand and how I've responded to
those and the lessons that I'velearned and what that has taught
me, and drawing some awarenessto that so that I can stop and
(23:31):
pause and reflect and sit withthings and then realize then,
where do I go next based on that?
You know, where am I going tolet these thoughts take me and
you know so much of it is achoice on how we react or
respond to these lifecircumstances.
Kellie (23:51):
And trauma, too, is an interesting concept because,
depending on who we arehardwired to be, who we're
created to be as human beings.
We all respond a little bitdifferently.
We have different behaviors, wehave different EQ, we have
different priorities, we havedifferent passions, we see the
(24:11):
world through different lensesof perception.
But what's really cool to me isthat, like any skill, we can
develop our perception in how weview things and then how we
process and either internalize--or not internalize-- that
(24:33):
experience and then choose to dosomething with it.
Personally, I have always beenan advocate for taking traumatic
experiences-- the shit thathits the fan that happens all
throughout our lives andliving-- and taking whatever
goodness and greatness out ofthat I possibly can to learn
(24:56):
something and then pay thatforward to create some kind of
positive ripple effect in theworld.
That is WAY easier said thandone.
Erin (25:04):
Yes, it is!
Kellie (25:06):
And I have been through some experiences, and so have
you, and we've walked that path.
Let's go back to Savannah, forexample.
In her car accident, you know,that trauma was followed by a
couple of cancer diagnoses, amajor physically- alterating
surgery, and this young woman,at 23 years old, is taking life
(25:31):
by storm.
It doesn't mean that it's easy,right, and every day you have
to get up and look at yourselfin the mirror and say, "I'm
going to choose to do somethinggreat with my life and with my
experiences.
Today, again, that is sometimeseasier said than done.
I've had to do it with traumasin my life.
(25:54):
In fact, the last five to eightyears have seemed to be kind of
these layering experiences thatpile on top of each other, and
that can be really taxing on ourparasympathetic nervous system,
our health and wellness andwell-being; i t can instigate
some anxiety, or some panic, andit's the process of staying
(26:20):
connected to other humanbeings-- in my opinion-- having
a safe environment where you canspeak to how you're feeling
authentically ( which is where Ireally look forward to having
some incredible experts on withus to help people understand how
, in those moments, you can tapinto this unbelievable human
(26:45):
strength).
But first you have to haveconfidence and belief that it
actually exists, to find itwithin you and then use that as
a stepping stone to maybe evenjust the next minute or the next
day.
What I heard so beautifully inGini's story was how she and her
(27:09):
mom allowed grief and gratitudeto coexist.
Erin (27:12):
Yes
Kellie (27:13):
And when she was being Eeyore, as she said in the
episode, her mom would say toher (and her mom's 77th birthday
was just last week, which is sofun, because our mom would be
77 now too!).
.
.
her mom would encourage her, orengage her, in a reflective
(27:36):
gratitude practice by saying,"you've told me everything bad,
now tell me something good.
And when Gini had nothing toshare, her mom would start.
And then she even said in theepisode I still practice that
today.
And then and now.
The list would just keepsnowballing forward, and pretty
(27:56):
soon.
How can you argue witheverything that's great, from
sleeping in a warm, comfy bed,to having hot water, to take a
shower, to a great medical team,to food on the table, to a roof
over our heads?
I mean, gratitude is everywhere, all around us, in every moment
(28:17):
, if we're willing to see it andembrace it.
Erin (28:22):
Yes, I completely agree.
And I love that you broughtthat up.
I was going to mention the same, that that gratitude practice
that Gini shared was soimpactful and, speaking to what
you just said, it is way easiersaid than done.
(28:42):
So many times and so often whenwe're in the thick of it, life
is just ick, whatever that is,we can't see it for ourselves,
right?
We get into this victimmentality.
This woe is me.
I was doing this yesterday (28:56):
I can't do anything right, my life
sucks.
And it was Jason, who let mevent and listened and held my
hand and was like, Okay, that'snot all true, and you have this
(29:17):
and you have this and you'redoing this well, and this is
great, you know.
And so, so often it takessomebody else coming alongside
us, picking us up when we'redown, reminding us of the
goodness and believing it,sometimes more for us, or
believing it for us and speakingit into our lives until we can
(29:39):
see it and recognize it andbelieve it for ourselves.
I'm doing much better based onthat, but it's true.
And so one of the things that,when Gini was talking about that
and even now reflecting on itin this conversation, it causes
me to pause and feel gratitudefor the people in my life: you,
(30:03):
Jason, others who come alongsideme when I need it.
But then it also reminds me tobe aware of the people around me
and what other people are goingthrough, so that I can be that
person and to pay it forward,because I know how valuable that
is and how critically importantit is to have those people
(30:25):
around you and I want to be that.
I want to be that support forsomebody in the moment that they
need it, whatever that lookslike.
And so it has caused me toreflect and remind myself to
just not have my blinders on allthe time and to be really aware
and to listen when people aretalking so that you can really
(30:47):
understand where somebody's atand offer just a small glimmer
of hope when somebody feelsreally hopeless.
Kellie (30:56):
I love everything that you just said, and when you were
talking-- authentically andopenly, thank you-- about your
experience yesterday, and thatmoment that you were sharing
with Jason, I could literallyfeel physically in my body the
shift in what it feels like whenyou're caught in negativity,
(31:28):
and Eeyore-ism, and woe is me.
And then you have that personwith you and-- if you are open
to it and allow all of thatgoodness and positivity and kind
of calling you out on yourbullshit a little bit--
physically everything changes.
In addition to everythingchanging internally,
spiritually, emotionally, andmentally.
Can you describe how that felt?
Erin (31:48):
Oh, it's a roller coaster.
Well, I think, when yourecognize it for what it is and
when you can accept the giftthat is offered to you, because
that's really what it is-- andwe can have a deeper
conversation around this; it'sreminding me of your story with
compliments, and I would reallylike you to share that-- because
(32:10):
I think that sometimes evensomething that's seemingly
small, like where I was atyesterday-- just in my own just
life, right, lots of shit goingon, feeling overwhelmed by all
the things work, kids,relationships, all of it and
feeling like I'm drowning, right, and feeling like I'm not doing
(32:34):
anything well, and just kind ofhalf-assing a lot of things in
my life, which may or may not betrue, but that's how I felt in
the moment.
And so, to have somebody wholistens to that and then offers
some reassurance, who, for me,in that moment, it was feeling
first and foremost like I hadsomebody who was really
(32:57):
listening to me, right?
Who was actually listening towhere I was really at and how I
was really beating myself upabout that, and there is
something for me that's powerfulin verbalizing that, like I
just need to vent, I just needto communicate..
.
I just need to get it out.
And I don't journal.
(33:18):
It's not a practice that I'mgood at.
I always think that I want todo it, but I fail miserably
because I don't love to write it.
I want to talk about it.
That's how I process.
And so, to answer your question,when I was given the gift of
somebody listening to me, andthen given another gift of
(33:40):
somebody-- very gently, andthat's what my personality needs
, right?
(So there are likely listenersout there who are like, Oh no, I
need it in a different way, orgive it to me straight!) But I
just I need a gentle, softlanding.
(34:03):
And so when I was given thegift of somebody gently
reminding me of where mythoughts are incorrect or
inconsistent, and then alsooffering me those reminders--
just like Gini's mom did-- ofOkay, but tell me something good
(34:23):
, and saying to me, I understandthat that's how you feel and
that that's how you're seeingthings, but this is what I see
in you and this is the goodnessthat I see in your life and in
your practices, daily habits,you know, all of the things.
It doesn't mean that there'snot areas of growth, because I
(34:43):
got a lot of room to grow, butit was so comforting and
refreshing to just hear somebodyelse's perspective and to hear
what somebody else thinks aboutthe situation or how somebody
else sees you, because we areour biggest critics.
And how I see myself is notalways healthy, right?
(35:09):
I don't always look at myselfin a positive light because I'm
really critical of myself.
I think most of us fall intothat category, and so it's
pretty incredible when somebodypoints out the good things.
Kellie (35:24):
That's really powerful.
And it also allows us to getback to that place of neutrality
.
I know for me, when I get intomy Eeyore moments-- and I'm
going to steal that one fromGini because I just loved it so
much-- as you were talking aboutall of that, I had this feeling
of, if we can just get back toa place of neutrality.
(35:44):
It's not that we have to gofrom awful to great, but if we
can go from the world is fallingapart and I'm falling off with
it to wait a minute (35:53):
I have both of my legs, I have my sight, I
have all of my senses, I havesomebody who loves me, I've got
an amazing sister.
I have three incrediblechildren.
Now I'm Kiki.
I have a grandbaby, beautifulgranddaughter, rain how bad is
(36:14):
life really?
I even found myself between ourepisode with Gini and our
afterthoughts today.
I've had a couple of experiencesthat have taken me down
Eeyore's road and I've actuallythought about Gini and I've
thought about how she chose life, how she chose gratitude, how
(36:37):
she chose to be in control asher own advocate for her own
health and well-being, no matterhow long the journey was going
to be, and that eventually shechose love again.
And I found the story to be soincredibly inspiring.
I also have thought back to theconversation with Chris, and
(37:01):
with Jason, and with Marcus.
..
and with Wendy and being a momand thinking about having my
daughter abducted from my (orour) front yard and murdered in
the way that Lacy was.
You know we're having reallyimportant conversations here
that are not only having animpact on my life and, I know,
(37:24):
on the lives of our listeners,but my hope is that people walk
away from these stories feeling,knowing and believing that
grief is not linear.
It's different for everybody.
You can go through it in yourown way, at your own pace, in
your own timeframe, but thereality is you are gifted with
(37:45):
this life.
You are here on purpose.
Human nature is to be resilientand to stand tall, and we all
have gifts to offer this worldin this lifetime.
And sometimes, like you said,we're our own worst critic.
We have a hard time looking inthe mirror at our own selves.
But if we're living a life ofauthenticity, integrity, and
(38:09):
love is at the core of what wedo, then I truly believe that we
can evolve in the face of lossand that we can live on purpose,
with legacy while we're here,and then what we leave behind is
just cherries on top.
Erin (38:28):
Yeah, gosh, it is so awesome to hear you talk about
all of those things and theperspective.
And yeah, going back to Gini andher journey, to know her
today-- you know we didn't knowher then-- I can't imagine how
proud her dad is.
Her brothers.
(38:49):
She's the middle child; she hasan older brother and a younger
brother.
Her younger brother actuallyhas Down syndrome and sounds
like like such a joy.
I really want to meet Will.
Kellie (38:59):
We should have Will on The P-I-G with us!
Erin (39:01):
That'd be awesome.
Kellie (39:03):
Right, Will and Gini together..
.
Erin (39:05):
That would be a lot of fun .
But, because I'm so proud ofher, right?
Like, just hearing her storyand knowing where she was and
what she's done and how farshe's come, and now that she is
fully immersed herself in thisworld and she's an ambassador
(39:25):
for these companies, theseprosthetic companies, for
Ottobock and Integrum, and shetravels, and speaks, and
encourages other people, and isa patient advocate.
And I learned so much from herabout the world of amputees and
prosthetics, and even theinformation that she shared
(39:46):
about what insurance companiesdo and do not cover in that
conversation.
And so, I love that.
Now I have an awareness thatI'd never had before about limb
loss and limb difference, and itmakes me so excited to continue
to have these conversations andto continue to share this
information with listeners,because she's now opened my eyes
(40:09):
and helped me have a differentperspective on something.
And going back to, if we wouldjust listen to the people around
us and there's so muchopportunity in front of us to
really impact other people'slives yeah, in a really profound
way.
Kellie (40:24):
Yes.
Erin, if you had to pick onething that you would want
listeners to take away fromGini's episode, what would it be
?
Erin (40:31):
I think it would actually be that practice of gratitude,
that daily gratitude practice.
That was really powerful.
I'm very well versed in this"attitude of gratitude that I
mentioned, you know, before, butit's easy to lose sight of kind
of the daily things that wehave in our lives that we really
(40:52):
need to be grateful for, andthere are so many lessons that I
could touch on from thatepisode.
It was just at every twist andturn there was a little nugget
of awesomeness that Gini had tooffer up and so I walked away
from that conversation with somany things and I really do want
(41:13):
to encourage our listeners togo back and listen to that
episode, and every episode forthat matter, because those
things come across in everyconversation that we have.
But if I had to choose one thing, it would be that practice.
How about you?
Kellie (41:28):
For me it was along the same lines, but it came when we
asked Gini what her P-I-G was.
O ur P-I-G, for even doing thispodcast and why we named it The
P-I-G (beyond our momcollecting pigs her whole life
and being born in the year ofthe pig), was purpose, intention
and gratitude.
(41:48):
And when Gini said patience andgratitude, and then it ended
with Patience In Gratitude, tome, if our listeners could
understand that-- whatever it isyou're going through right now,
whatever loss is in front ofyou whether that is a part of
yourself, a relationship, acareer, your finances, a loved
(42:14):
one relationship, a career, yourfinances, a loved one--
patience will get you through itand to the other side.
A nd while you are beingpatient, if you can practice
gratitude, to me, those two havean exponential and compounding
effect on the human spirit.
A nd so, that's what I hopelisteners walk away with.
(42:35):
.
.
a belief that they, like Gini,can overcome anything and be
better and stronger on the otherside.
Erin (42:45):
That's really beautiful.
Thank you for sharing that.
I completely agree.
Patience In Gratitude is aprofound P-I-G!
Kellie (42:58):
So, as we close today's P-I-G Afterthoughts, I want to
encourage our listeners toreflect on what their P-I-G is.
A nd this is where it gets alot of fun.
It is perfectly okay if yourP-I-G is pizza, ice cream and
green grapes, or.
.
.
Erin (43:13):
Haha.
That is okay, that's a goodP-I-G!
Kellie (43:14):
Or, Pesky.
That was a great word that cameup in Gini's episode several
times.
So pesky, interesting and goofy, like that could be your P-I-G.
It doesn't have to be sappy andemotional, although sappy and
emotional P-I-G's are great, butthat's what this conversation,
(43:37):
that's what this podcast, andthat's what these episodes are
all about.
So, listeners, What is yourP-I-G?
And we want to hear from you!Let us know what you think.
In the meantime, we reallyencourage you again to go back
and listen to the earlyepisodes, to connect with Gini
Thomas online (w e've got all ofher contact information in our
(43:58):
show notes from episode six andagain in this one).
We also want to hear yourafterthoughts, of course, and we
do want to remind you thatApril is Limb Loss and Limb
Difference Awareness Month, andwe want you to look into Gini
and what she's doing to supportlimb loss and limb difference,
and also as an ambassador withOttobock and Integrum.
(44:21):
Last but not least, Erin, myfavorite times of my week,
outside of cooking with Marcusin the kitchen and hearing from
or hanging out with my childrenand my grandbaby, is doing this
podcast with you.
Thank you for being such abright, shining light in my life
.
Thank you for your authenticity, your honesty, your raw
vulnerability and thank you forbeing on this journey with me.
(44:44):
I absolutely love you.
Erin (44:45):
I love you too.
It is a privilege to be able todo this with you.
I'm so grateful for you andthis adventure, and the many
projects that we're working ontogether.
And you know, our P-I-G ispurpose, intention and
gratitude-- and while it's thedriving force behind this
podcast--it's also a drivingforce for both of us in our
(45:08):
individual lives.
We talked so much today aboutgratitude in particular, and I
will forever be grateful thatyou are my big sister and that
we get to do this together, andI'm really happy that we now
have a bunch of listeners alongfor the ride as well.
.
.
Kellie (45:27):
Well, I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.
And don't beat up on yourself.
.
.
because you're awesome!
Erin (45:33):
I will do my best.
Ha.
Remember the old Saturday NightLive.
.
.
I'm good enough, I'm smartenough and doggone it,
The Sisters (45:42):
Kellie & Er
Erin (45:45):
Hilarious, oh my gosh.
.
.
Kellie (45:46):
That's great.
If this reflection resonatedwith you, we'd love to hear your
afterthoughts.
What stuck with you, what madeyou pause?
What made you feel seen?
After all, hearing the storiesof others helps us create a more
meaningful connection to ourown.
Erin (46:04):
And if you haven't yet listened to Gini's full till
Here, Still Standing (in episodesix)-- trust us, it's worth
every moment.
We encourage you to sharetoday's or any episode with a
friend.
Tag us on social media or jointhe conversation in our growing
communities.
You can also visitthePIGpodcast.
com for more ways to connect.
Kellie (46:25):
Finally, we would not be here without you.
To help us continue growing andexpanding our reach, please
rate The P-I-G, leave a review,and reach out if you have a
story you'd like featured on afuture episode.
Erin (46:39):
Thanks for being part of this journey with us.
Until next time, hogs andkisses everyone!
Kellie & E
life, love, loss and legacythrough real conversations and
meaningful stories, with purpose, intention and gratitude.
We're your hosts.
I'm Kellie, and I'm Erin.
We're sisters, best friends,sometimes polar opposites, but
always deeply connected by thelife, love, loss and legacy of
an incredible woman, our motherMarsha.
(00:28):
Today we're doing somethingnew: our very first P-I-G
Afterthoughts.
These are reflective sisterchats where we circle back after
our a powerful guestconversation to unpack what
stayed with us.
Think of it as a time toprocess out loud, together, with
you.
If you listened to our lastepisode with Gini Thomas, you
(00:49):
already know just how deeply itmoved us.
Gini story of loss, resilience,and quiet strength is one that
doesn't leave your heart easily,and we've been thinking about
it ever since.
So we're taking time today tosit with that story, highlight
the moments that struck us most,and share how it's changed the
way we think about love, grief,healing and showing up for
(01:11):
others, and ourselves.
We hope it inspires you toreflect too, and maybe even
share your own thoughts with usafter the episode.
For now, settle in, take a deepbreath and let's dive into our
PIG Afterthoughts.
Kellie (01:41):
Well, hello, Sister! It's so good to see you and be
back for episode number seven.
Erin (01:52):
Hi, Sister! It's so good to be here with you today too,
and I am really looking forwardto our very first PIG
Afterthoughts and reflecting onour incredible interview with
Gini Thomas.
Kellie (02:00):
Yeah, that episode-- Still Here, Still
Standing--well, all of ourepisodes, have been absolutely
amazing to me; the stories thatwe've heard, the journeys that
have been told and shared, butGini specifically, could have
easily been three or fourindividual episodes.
So, as we unpack ourafterthoughts today around the
(02:24):
multiple layers of the lossesshe experienced so early in her
life, I really hope ourlisteners, if they haven't
already, will go back and listento her full story in detail.
And, in celebration andawareness of Limb Loss and Limb
Difference Awareness Month,which is the month of April, we
(02:51):
thought that this would be areally great way to continue to
highlight a key aspect of herjourney.
Erin (02:54):
Yeah, definitely.
I think that the timing isperfect for us to continue to
reflect not only on Gini storybut to draw awareness to Limb
Loss and Limb DifferenceAwareness month.
And, like you said, this couldhave been so many different
episodes because, yes, she didlose her leg in an accident, but
that same accident claimed thelife of her husband.
(03:16):
She's also experienced the lossof her mom like we have..
.
she's had a lot of lifeexperience in her short 40-year
life.
Kellie (03:25):
Well, she certainly has.
What really struck me were thethemes of that specific episode,
which are the themes really ofall The P-I-G episodes, right,
around life love, loss andlegacy that the concepts are
really endless.
But when we think about Gini'sability to find gratitude in
(03:49):
even the darkest moments, that'sa really key aspect that stuck
out for me, especially with hermom.
And we know gratitude well--it's part of our P-I-G: purpose
intention and gratitude-- butthat was really a defining part
of the episode and somethingthat I've really been reflecting
a lot on over the last week orso since we chatted with her.
(04:10):
But also resilience, her faith,her healing journey, her
honesty about how raw and realthat has been for her, and
that's something you and I talkabout all the time too, and
it'll be fun to explore thesethemes today in our
(04:30):
afterthoughts as we not onlyreflect on Gini story, but also
on our own.
Erin (04:35):
Yeah, I completely agree with that.
A nd that attitude of gratitudeis something we have talked a
lot about over the years andsomething that Gini embodies
completely.
It's so inspiring, her abilityto find the good in all things.
(04:56):
In her life, with everythingthat she has faced, it is really
remarkable.
A nd that same message reallycame through in, you know, our
interview with my friend Wendyand her loss and, like you said,
it's come across and it's beena recurring theme in all of our
episodes.
But no question that Gini' s isa very inspiring story.
Kellie (05:29):
So let's start at the beginning of her story, which is
the accident in August of 2012.
It was exactly 17 months to theday that she had married the
love of her life, Joe.
Their story of how they met wasso sweet and fun.
She took this extra course forcollege and wound up
participating in theater andacting (something that was so
(05:51):
far out of her comfort zone),was scantily clothed sitting at
the bar, and the air conditionerwas blowing.
A nd Joe was in the band and hecame over and chatted with her
and the rest was history.
I loved the story of how theymet and their instant connection
.
She was supposed to fly out thenext day to go visit her (then)
(06:14):
boyfriend, they both wound upbreaking up with their other
people, and they entered into arelationship that just sounds
like it was so beautiful, soloving and so connected, which
is something that both you and Ireally value and treasure, and
so starting there seems to melike such a meaningful place to
(06:36):
begin our afterthoughts withGini story.
Erin (06:40):
Yeah, I completely agree.
There were several things thatshe talked about in that story
about their meeting that, yes,is so sweet.
And I really want our listenersto go back and listen, but to
speak for myself (and I know youecho this as things we both
(07:09):
really value in our own currentrelationships), that was really
great.
You know, they really builttheir relationship in the
kitchen, around food, which Iknow is something that you and
Marcus do and value, and that'ssomething that Jason and I do
and value, and so it was reallyfun to hear about that.
(07:30):
It was also really fun for me,and I did not know this before
our interview, that Joe wasalmost 20 years older than her.
I love that she shared that andI have giggled several times
thinking back on the fact thatthere just was a one week
(07:50):
difference-- he was 19 years and51 weeks older than her, and so
there's a one week where he was19 years older than her, not 20
.
And that's the time that she wasgoing to tell her parents about
their relationship, because shethought 19 years sounded better
than 20.
So, yeah, just it's a fun story.
I t's a beautiful love story,and their relationship did have
(08:15):
a really strong foundation, andit was built on love and honesty
.
.
.
just really, really beautifulfrom the get go.
Kellie (08:31):
Yeah, it is truly one of those authentic love stories.
It's so funny you brought upthe 19 years and 51 weeks
because I was going to echo yourthoughts with "uh-uh, that
wasn't quite 20 years, they hadthat one week.
And that's what's going to makeit okay for mom and dad.
It makes the concept of havinglost that love and I'm so happy
that they dated and celebratedtheir love and built their
(08:51):
relationship over a few years.
But that accident happened 17months to the day and that
really is standout in the sensethat they were just beginning
their journey together.
It makes me think about myrelationship with Marcus (and if
people want to get to knowMarcus and Jason, number one,
(09:11):
they can keep listening to thepodcast because we're going to
have many more conversationswith both of those amazing men,
but they can go back and listento episodes two and three, which
is a two-part series where wetalk with them very openly and
honestly about their experienceswith life, love, loss and the
legacy that they desire to leaveas partners, fathers and
(09:34):
leaders; such a beautifulconversation).
And I was thinking about thecooking and building
relationships around food andhaving you and Jason here late
last year and how much fun thefour of us had in the kitchen.
Erin (09:49):
Yeah
Kellie (09:49):
In fact, Marcus and I were just watching ( we love
cooking shows, which probablycomes as no surprise.
.
.
n ature shows and cooking shows!), but last night we were
watching Chef's Table-- and ifyou've never seen it, I really
encourage you to watch it andour listeners, especially if you
like cooking shows at all; goto Netflix (h ere's my plug!)
(10:10):
and watch every episode you canof Chef's Table.
We watch them over and over andover and over again.
Last night's episode was a womanwho was from Savannah, Georgia,
as a little (which is, I know,a place that you and Jason have
visited) and the culinary andEpicurean culture that is so
steeped in Southern cooking.
(10:32):
She moved to New York and wasgoing to live there forever and
she wound up getting into foodand becoming a chef, and she was
talking about the roots of herchildhood in the South and she
had no idea how she was going tobecome a chef in fine dining to
the level that she wanted to.
(10:54):
.
.
until she tapped back into theroots of her family's history in
the South.
And she had this opportunity tobecome a partner in a
restaurant that happened to beopening in Savannah, Georgia,
and so the path that got laidout for her to explore this love
(11:14):
she had for Southern cooking.
Anyhow, the rest is history asshe's a very famous chef now.
B ut one of the things she saidis that, if you want to get to
know people and the heart of whothey really are, you do it
around the table with food.
Erin (11:30):
It's true, it bonds people .
You know, and you think aboutit, like so often in my life
before Jason right, if I wantedto socialize or, you know, meet
with a friend or whatever it was.
.
.
you go out to eat, you go outto happy hour, you know?
And I don't know if that's aworld thing, you know, or if
(11:54):
it's a humanity thing, but it'sdefinitely a cultural thing here
.
It's a bonding experience.
And it'd be interesting tomaybe even have a deeper
conversation at some pointaround that.
You know, Jason and I's firstdate.
.
.
we went out to dinner, you know, because that's what you do and
you sit and you eat and youtalk and you get to know people.
(12:16):
But there is something reallymagical about having that
experience in your own home, inyour own kitchen, with the
people that you love.
You know, whether it's apartner, or your children.
I love being in the kitchen withmy kids and rubbing elbows with
them, you know, and creatingstuff.
(12:37):
My oldest son, Weston, who's 20, has become a great cook.
He loves to cook and so that's,you know, something that's
developing in our mother- sonrelationship and it's just a
bonding experience, no matterwho you're doing it with.
So I love it.
Kellie (12:55):
And I don't want to get too far off G ini and make this
all about us, but I do want topiggyback off that ( pun
intended!) because, you know,Marcus and I building our
relationship around food, justlike you and Jason have built
yours, and you keep going outfor Monday night date nights,
which I completely love, and Ithink it's such a great example.
(13:16):
I love that all of our childrenhave this passion and desire
for playing with food, exploringfood, cooking together.
Lily and Marcos have fun withus; we text pictures back and
forth of what we're making and,as you know, we have a family
recipes cookbook that is now inand will be a part of our
(13:40):
families forever, and so I lovethat.
Gini and Joe built theirrelationship around food, and
she was so honest and said "itwasn't that either one of us
were any good at it right, hedid the entrees and I did the
desserts, but still, that'swhere we came together, that's
where we fell in love, that'swhere we got to know each other
and that's where we had thosereally special, sacred moments.
(14:03):
So, if we fast forward to thataccident in August of 2012, what
really struck me about that daywas it was just a normal,
average, everyday day.
They had to go to Home Depot tobuy an industrial snake because
the tree roots kept gettingcaught in their pipes.
(14:25):
I mean, which of us, on aSaturday, hasn't had to dive
into chores and get delayedbecause we had to attend to
things that needed to get donebefore we went and did what we
were planning to do, which, forthem, was going to visit his
mother an hour out of town?
The other thing that reallystruck me was and we know this
(14:47):
anytime you do anything,everything has to fall perfectly
in place for anything to happenin any one given moment of time
and how far back that rolls isreally unbelievable.
So the fact that they gotT-boned by a car that ran a stop
sign after they'd done allthese chores, finally gotten on
(15:10):
the motorcycle, decided to takethe safe route instead of the
highway route, which should havebeen the safe route, and then,
in a split second, life changedforever.
(15:31):
Yeah, understanding immediatelythat she was in shock but she
was alive, knowing immediately,looking at Joe, that he was not,
and even though she didn't sayit, I had the very distinct
understanding, as she explainedthat moment, that she made a
(15:55):
conscious decision to live.
Erin (15:58):
Yeah, I agree completely.
It's a really powerful story tolisten to and, you know, she
talks about how she knew shemust have been in shock because
she didn't feel any pain.
But she looked down and washaving thoughts about, "oh, my
bone looks really yellow.
I didn't know bones were thatyellow, you know, and her leg
(16:21):
was completely shattered.
And to have the thoughts thatshe did about I need to give
people information, because I'mprobably going to pass out and
you know, to be in that shockand to not be experiencing pain
in that moment and, like yousaid, for her to have a pretty
good understanding in a momentof her status, joe's status, you
(16:45):
know.
And then the paramedics andeverything arrived and as they
were taking her away, she talksabout how they clicked her into
that ambulance and that's wheneverything shifted and she
started experiencing pain and,you know, she was unconscious
for about a week and when shewoke up about a week later she
(17:05):
had already had three surgerieson her leg.
We don't talk about thisactually in the episode, but I
learned this about her when Ihad had dinner with her the week
before was that they didn't--they being her family and the
people around her, her doctors--they didn't want her to wake up
to find out that she had losther husband and lost her leg.
(17:27):
They didn't realize that shewas already aware of that.
She had already been aware thatshe had lost Joe and, I think,
was anticipating the fact thatshe would lose her leg.
She had those consciousthoughts before then.
She was basically in amedically induced coma for a
(17:47):
week, and so they performed alot of their limb salvage
surgeries in hopes that theycould do that so that she
wouldn't wake up to multiplelosses.
So they thought they werebasically doing her a favor, but
not understanding the level ofawareness that she had already
(18:08):
had about the situation, which Ithought was really fascinating
as well.
Kellie (18:11):
I have to tell you, as the mother-- bonus mom-- of a
child, and Gini was in hermid-ish 20s.
.
.
w asn't she like 25 or 26roughly, when that accident?
somewhere right in there whenthat accident happened?
Erin (18:28):
I think 27.
Kellie (18:29):
That sounds about right.
We have a daughter who was in anear tragic head-on collision
with a Ford F-250 in the fall of2018.
S he was 17 years old and thatis every parent's worst
nightmare, right, that telephonecall, or that discovery.
.
.
which you know,We're exploring our own family
(18:52):
and our own stories and our ownconnection to The Boxes, which--
if listeners don't know whatthat is, go back and listen to
episode one so you can get allcaught up on who we are and
where we're going with thispodcast--b ut today we are
recording on Good Friday, and onGood Friday, April 17th, which
(19:14):
was yesterday, in 1981 ( andwe're going to talk about this
again on some future episodeswith our dad and also as we talk
about loss through the decadesthat we've been alive).
Today marks 44 years since oursister, Laurie, died in a car
accident with her two bestfriends.
(19:35):
So it is a little timely thatwe're having all of these
conversations and today'sAfterthoughts episode-- not just
reflecting on Gini journey andstory, but it's also really
spurred in me a lot of thoughtsaround Savannah's accident and
what happened around that time.
She had to be cut out of thatcar with Jaws for Life.
(19:58):
She had to be airlifted to thehospital, and it took months and
months and months to help herrecover.
She has a rod in her femur; w ewere lucky to be able to keep
her leg.
She also broke nearly everysingle bone in her face; s he
had a full frontal Le Fortfracture.
So, multiple surgeries.
And how individuals comethrough accidents like that.
(20:22):
Unfortunately, Laurie and hertwo best friends back in 1981
did not survive their accident;i t was tragic, it was deadly,
and it was on Easter weekend.
I mean, it's kind of a triplewhammy for that one.
But one of the things thatreally struck me with Gini is
her immediate question to thedoctor that day that she got off
(20:46):
her trach and her ventilatorand she was conscious after she
and her mom had shared themoment about yes, Joe is gone,
and they cried together and had,though that moment that you
know, had to be so special forthe two of them, especially
knowing that Gini then laterloses her mom to her kidney
(21:10):
disease and to dementia.
So there was kind ofcompounding loss there.
But her first question to thedoctor was, "do you think this
leg will really work again?
Like I saw that leg when I wason scene at the accident and
that memory of this leg isreally broken, and broken badly,
(21:30):
and what I heard from her waskind of deciding to go along
with all the limb salvages forthe multiple years that they did
that, even knowing that thechances of getting that limb,
that leg, back to full use wasmaybe 60% at the most.
But it seemed to me that shehad this conscious awareness and
(21:53):
started that grief process ofokay, I'm grieving my husband,
I've got to put that in thisbucket.
My leg is in a totallydifferent bucket, which is over
here.
But it seemed to me that shewas starting that grief process
even long before they decided toamputate above the knee and
then subsequent surgeries keptcutting off more and cutting off
(22:15):
more and cutting off morebecause of all the problems she
was having and eventually beingable to get to that bone implant
surgery that she was luckily agreat candidate for?
Erin (22:25):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I know I keep coming backto it, but it's the strength.
I t's her strength through itall.
And I know we'll probably talkabout this as we go in this
episode and recap, but thequestions that she asked from
day one and the path that shehad to go down to really become
(22:47):
her own number one advocate forwhat she needed and wanted in
terms of health care.
We talk about how theseincidents, the trauma, these
life-altering moments impact usforever, or and how they impact
us, and there are so many thingsthat I've thought about since
(23:07):
that episode that have caused meto pause and reflect on some of
my own moments with different,varying levels of trauma, I
should say, you know, in my lifeand and how I've responded to
those and the lessons that I'velearned and what that has taught
me, and drawing some awarenessto that so that I can stop and
(23:31):
pause and reflect and sit withthings and then realize then,
where do I go next based on that?
You know, where am I going tolet these thoughts take me and
you know so much of it is achoice on how we react or
respond to these lifecircumstances.
Kellie (23:51):
And trauma, too, is an interesting concept because,
depending on who we arehardwired to be, who we're
created to be as human beings.
We all respond a little bitdifferently.
We have different behaviors, wehave different EQ, we have
different priorities, we havedifferent passions, we see the
(24:11):
world through different lensesof perception.
But what's really cool to me isthat, like any skill, we can
develop our perception in how weview things and then how we
process and either internalize--or not internalize-- that
(24:33):
experience and then choose to dosomething with it.
Personally, I have always beenan advocate for taking traumatic
experiences-- the shit thathits the fan that happens all
throughout our lives andliving-- and taking whatever
goodness and greatness out ofthat I possibly can to learn
(24:56):
something and then pay thatforward to create some kind of
positive ripple effect in theworld.
That is WAY easier said thandone.
Erin (25:04):
Yes, it is!
Kellie (25:06):
And I have been through some experiences, and so have
you, and we've walked that path.
Let's go back to Savannah, forexample.
In her car accident, you know,that trauma was followed by a
couple of cancer diagnoses, amajor physically- alterating
surgery, and this young woman,at 23 years old, is taking life
(25:31):
by storm.
It doesn't mean that it's easy,right, and every day you have
to get up and look at yourselfin the mirror and say, "I'm
going to choose to do somethinggreat with my life and with my
experiences.
Today, again, that is sometimeseasier said than done.
I've had to do it with traumasin my life.
(25:54):
In fact, the last five to eightyears have seemed to be kind of
these layering experiences thatpile on top of each other, and
that can be really taxing on ourparasympathetic nervous system,
our health and wellness andwell-being; i t can instigate
some anxiety, or some panic, andit's the process of staying
(26:20):
connected to other humanbeings-- in my opinion-- having
a safe environment where you canspeak to how you're feeling
authentically ( which is where Ireally look forward to having
some incredible experts on withus to help people understand how
, in those moments, you can tapinto this unbelievable human
(26:45):
strength).
But first you have to haveconfidence and belief that it
actually exists, to find itwithin you and then use that as
a stepping stone to maybe evenjust the next minute or the next
day.
What I heard so beautifully inGini's story was how she and her
(27:09):
mom allowed grief and gratitudeto coexist.
Erin (27:12):
Yes
Kellie (27:13):
And when she was being Eeyore, as she said in the
episode, her mom would say toher (and her mom's 77th birthday
was just last week, which is sofun, because our mom would be
77 now too!).
.
.
her mom would encourage her, orengage her, in a reflective
(27:36):
gratitude practice by saying,"you've told me everything bad,
now tell me something good.
And when Gini had nothing toshare, her mom would start.
And then she even said in theepisode I still practice that
today.
And then and now.
The list would just keepsnowballing forward, and pretty
(27:56):
soon.
How can you argue witheverything that's great, from
sleeping in a warm, comfy bed,to having hot water, to take a
shower, to a great medical team,to food on the table, to a roof
over our heads?
I mean, gratitude is everywhere, all around us, in every moment
(28:17):
, if we're willing to see it andembrace it.
Erin (28:22):
Yes, I completely agree.
And I love that you broughtthat up.
I was going to mention the same, that that gratitude practice
that Gini shared was soimpactful and, speaking to what
you just said, it is way easiersaid than done.
(28:42):
So many times and so often whenwe're in the thick of it, life
is just ick, whatever that is,we can't see it for ourselves,
right?
We get into this victimmentality.
This woe is me.
I was doing this yesterday (28:56):
I can't do anything right, my life
sucks.
And it was Jason, who let mevent and listened and held my
hand and was like, Okay, that'snot all true, and you have this
(29:17):
and you have this and you'redoing this well, and this is
great, you know.
And so, so often it takessomebody else coming alongside
us, picking us up when we'redown, reminding us of the
goodness and believing it,sometimes more for us, or
believing it for us and speakingit into our lives until we can
(29:39):
see it and recognize it andbelieve it for ourselves.
I'm doing much better based onthat, but it's true.
And so one of the things that,when Gini was talking about that
and even now reflecting on itin this conversation, it causes
me to pause and feel gratitudefor the people in my life: you,
(30:03):
Jason, others who come alongsideme when I need it.
But then it also reminds me tobe aware of the people around me
and what other people are goingthrough, so that I can be that
person and to pay it forward,because I know how valuable that
is and how critically importantit is to have those people
(30:25):
around you and I want to be that.
I want to be that support forsomebody in the moment that they
need it, whatever that lookslike.
And so it has caused me toreflect and remind myself to
just not have my blinders on allthe time and to be really aware
and to listen when people aretalking so that you can really
(30:47):
understand where somebody's atand offer just a small glimmer
of hope when somebody feelsreally hopeless.
Kellie (30:56):
I love everything that you just said, and when you were
talking-- authentically andopenly, thank you-- about your
experience yesterday, and thatmoment that you were sharing
with Jason, I could literallyfeel physically in my body the
shift in what it feels like whenyou're caught in negativity,
(31:28):
and Eeyore-ism, and woe is me.
And then you have that personwith you and-- if you are open
to it and allow all of thatgoodness and positivity and kind
of calling you out on yourbullshit a little bit--
physically everything changes.
In addition to everythingchanging internally,
spiritually, emotionally, andmentally.
Can you describe how that felt?
Erin (31:48):
Oh, it's a roller coaster.
Well, I think, when yourecognize it for what it is and
when you can accept the giftthat is offered to you, because
that's really what it is-- andwe can have a deeper
conversation around this; it'sreminding me of your story with
compliments, and I would reallylike you to share that-- because
(32:10):
I think that sometimes evensomething that's seemingly
small, like where I was atyesterday-- just in my own just
life, right, lots of shit goingon, feeling overwhelmed by all
the things work, kids,relationships, all of it and
feeling like I'm drowning, right, and feeling like I'm not doing
(32:34):
anything well, and just kind ofhalf-assing a lot of things in
my life, which may or may not betrue, but that's how I felt in
the moment.
And so, to have somebody wholistens to that and then offers
some reassurance, who, for me,in that moment, it was feeling
first and foremost like I hadsomebody who was really
(32:57):
listening to me, right?
Who was actually listening towhere I was really at and how I
was really beating myself upabout that, and there is
something for me that's powerfulin verbalizing that, like I
just need to vent, I just needto communicate..
.
I just need to get it out.
And I don't journal.
(33:18):
It's not a practice that I'mgood at.
I always think that I want todo it, but I fail miserably
because I don't love to write it.
I want to talk about it.
That's how I process.
And so, to answer your question,when I was given the gift of
somebody listening to me, andthen given another gift of
(33:40):
somebody-- very gently, andthat's what my personality needs
, right?
(So there are likely listenersout there who are like, Oh no, I
need it in a different way, orgive it to me straight!) But I
just I need a gentle, softlanding.
(34:03):
And so when I was given thegift of somebody gently
reminding me of where mythoughts are incorrect or
inconsistent, and then alsooffering me those reminders--
just like Gini's mom did-- ofOkay, but tell me something good
(34:23):
, and saying to me, I understandthat that's how you feel and
that that's how you're seeingthings, but this is what I see
in you and this is the goodnessthat I see in your life and in
your practices, daily habits,you know, all of the things.
It doesn't mean that there'snot areas of growth, because I
(34:43):
got a lot of room to grow, butit was so comforting and
refreshing to just hear somebodyelse's perspective and to hear
what somebody else thinks aboutthe situation or how somebody
else sees you, because we areour biggest critics.
And how I see myself is notalways healthy, right?
(35:09):
I don't always look at myselfin a positive light because I'm
really critical of myself.
I think most of us fall intothat category, and so it's
pretty incredible when somebodypoints out the good things.
Kellie (35:24):
That's really powerful.
And it also allows us to getback to that place of neutrality
.
I know for me, when I get intomy Eeyore moments-- and I'm
going to steal that one fromGini because I just loved it so
much-- as you were talking aboutall of that, I had this feeling
of, if we can just get back toa place of neutrality.
(35:44):
It's not that we have to gofrom awful to great, but if we
can go from the world is fallingapart and I'm falling off with
it to wait a minute (35:53):
I have both of my legs, I have my sight, I
have all of my senses, I havesomebody who loves me, I've got
an amazing sister.
I have three incrediblechildren.
Now I'm Kiki.
I have a grandbaby, beautifulgranddaughter, rain how bad is
(36:14):
life really?
I even found myself between ourepisode with Gini and our
afterthoughts today.
I've had a couple of experiencesthat have taken me down
Eeyore's road and I've actuallythought about Gini and I've
thought about how she chose life, how she chose gratitude, how
(36:37):
she chose to be in control asher own advocate for her own
health and well-being, no matterhow long the journey was going
to be, and that eventually shechose love again.
And I found the story to be soincredibly inspiring.
I also have thought back to theconversation with Chris, and
(37:01):
with Jason, and with Marcus.
..
and with Wendy and being a momand thinking about having my
daughter abducted from my (orour) front yard and murdered in
the way that Lacy was.
You know we're having reallyimportant conversations here
that are not only having animpact on my life and, I know,
(37:24):
on the lives of our listeners,but my hope is that people walk
away from these stories feeling,knowing and believing that
grief is not linear.
It's different for everybody.
You can go through it in yourown way, at your own pace, in
your own timeframe, but thereality is you are gifted with
(37:45):
this life.
You are here on purpose.
Human nature is to be resilientand to stand tall, and we all
have gifts to offer this worldin this lifetime.
And sometimes, like you said,we're our own worst critic.
We have a hard time looking inthe mirror at our own selves.
But if we're living a life ofauthenticity, integrity, and
(38:09):
love is at the core of what wedo, then I truly believe that we
can evolve in the face of lossand that we can live on purpose,
with legacy while we're here,and then what we leave behind is
just cherries on top.
Erin (38:28):
Yeah, gosh, it is so awesome to hear you talk about
all of those things and theperspective.
And yeah, going back to Gini andher journey, to know her
today-- you know we didn't knowher then-- I can't imagine how
proud her dad is.
Her brothers.
(38:49):
She's the middle child; she hasan older brother and a younger
brother.
Her younger brother actuallyhas Down syndrome and sounds
like like such a joy.
I really want to meet Will.
Kellie (38:59):
We should have Will on The P-I-G with us!
Erin (39:01):
That'd be awesome.
Kellie (39:03):
Right, Will and Gini together..
.
Erin (39:05):
That would be a lot of fun .
But, because I'm so proud ofher, right?
Like, just hearing her storyand knowing where she was and
what she's done and how farshe's come, and now that she is
fully immersed herself in thisworld and she's an ambassador
(39:25):
for these companies, theseprosthetic companies, for
Ottobock and Integrum, and shetravels, and speaks, and
encourages other people, and isa patient advocate.
And I learned so much from herabout the world of amputees and
prosthetics, and even theinformation that she shared
(39:46):
about what insurance companiesdo and do not cover in that
conversation.
And so, I love that.
Now I have an awareness thatI'd never had before about limb
loss and limb difference, and itmakes me so excited to continue
to have these conversations andto continue to share this
information with listeners,because she's now opened my eyes
(40:09):
and helped me have a differentperspective on something.
And going back to, if we wouldjust listen to the people around
us and there's so muchopportunity in front of us to
really impact other people'slives yeah, in a really profound
way.
Kellie (40:24):
Yes.
Erin, if you had to pick onething that you would want
listeners to take away fromGini's episode, what would it be
?
Erin (40:31):
I think it would actually be that practice of gratitude,
that daily gratitude practice.
That was really powerful.
I'm very well versed in this"attitude of gratitude that I
mentioned, you know, before, butit's easy to lose sight of kind
of the daily things that wehave in our lives that we really
(40:52):
need to be grateful for, andthere are so many lessons that I
could touch on from thatepisode.
It was just at every twist andturn there was a little nugget
of awesomeness that Gini had tooffer up and so I walked away
from that conversation with somany things and I really do want
(41:13):
to encourage our listeners togo back and listen to that
episode, and every episode forthat matter, because those
things come across in everyconversation that we have.
But if I had to choose one thing, it would be that practice.
How about you?
Kellie (41:28):
For me it was along the same lines, but it came when we
asked Gini what her P-I-G was.
O ur P-I-G, for even doing thispodcast and why we named it The
P-I-G (beyond our momcollecting pigs her whole life
and being born in the year ofthe pig), was purpose, intention
and gratitude.
(41:48):
And when Gini said patience andgratitude, and then it ended
with Patience In Gratitude, tome, if our listeners could
understand that-- whatever it isyou're going through right now,
whatever loss is in front ofyou whether that is a part of
yourself, a relationship, acareer, your finances, a loved
(42:14):
one relationship, a career, yourfinances, a loved one--
patience will get you through itand to the other side.
A nd while you are beingpatient, if you can practice
gratitude, to me, those two havean exponential and compounding
effect on the human spirit.
A nd so, that's what I hopelisteners walk away with.
(42:35):
.
.
a belief that they, like Gini,can overcome anything and be
better and stronger on the otherside.
Erin (42:45):
That's really beautiful.
Thank you for sharing that.
I completely agree.
Patience In Gratitude is aprofound P-I-G!
Kellie (42:58):
So, as we close today's P-I-G Afterthoughts, I want to
encourage our listeners toreflect on what their P-I-G is.
A nd this is where it gets alot of fun.
It is perfectly okay if yourP-I-G is pizza, ice cream and
green grapes, or.
.
.
Erin (43:13):
Haha.
That is okay, that's a goodP-I-G!
Kellie (43:14):
Or, Pesky.
That was a great word that cameup in Gini's episode several
times.
So pesky, interesting and goofy, like that could be your P-I-G.
It doesn't have to be sappy andemotional, although sappy and
emotional P-I-G's are great, butthat's what this conversation,
(43:37):
that's what this podcast, andthat's what these episodes are
all about.
So, listeners, What is yourP-I-G?
And we want to hear from you!Let us know what you think.
In the meantime, we reallyencourage you again to go back
and listen to the earlyepisodes, to connect with Gini
Thomas online (w e've got all ofher contact information in our
(43:58):
show notes from episode six andagain in this one).
We also want to hear yourafterthoughts, of course, and we
do want to remind you thatApril is Limb Loss and Limb
Difference Awareness Month, andwe want you to look into Gini
and what she's doing to supportlimb loss and limb difference,
and also as an ambassador withOttobock and Integrum.
(44:21):
Last but not least, Erin, myfavorite times of my week,
outside of cooking with Marcusin the kitchen and hearing from
or hanging out with my childrenand my grandbaby, is doing this
podcast with you.
Thank you for being such abright, shining light in my life
.
Thank you for your authenticity, your honesty, your raw
vulnerability and thank you forbeing on this journey with me.
(44:44):
I absolutely love you.
Erin (44:45):
I love you too.
It is a privilege to be able todo this with you.
I'm so grateful for you andthis adventure, and the many
projects that we're working ontogether.
And you know, our P-I-G ispurpose, intention and
gratitude-- and while it's thedriving force behind this
podcast--it's also a drivingforce for both of us in our
(45:08):
individual lives.
We talked so much today aboutgratitude in particular, and I
will forever be grateful thatyou are my big sister and that
we get to do this together, andI'm really happy that we now
have a bunch of listeners alongfor the ride as well.
.
.
Kellie (45:27):
Well, I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.
And don't beat up on yourself.
.
.
because you're awesome!
Erin (45:33):
I will do my best.
Ha.
Remember the old Saturday NightLive.
.
.
I'm good enough, I'm smartenough and doggone it,
The Sisters (45:42):
Kellie & Er
Erin (45:45):
Hilarious, oh my gosh.
.
.
Kellie (45:46):
That's great.
If this reflection resonatedwith you, we'd love to hear your
afterthoughts.
What stuck with you, what madeyou pause?
What made you feel seen?
After all, hearing the storiesof others helps us create a more
meaningful connection to ourown.
Erin (46:04):
And if you haven't yet listened to Gini's full till
Here, Still Standing (in episodesix)-- trust us, it's worth
every moment.
We encourage you to sharetoday's or any episode with a
friend.
Tag us on social media or jointhe conversation in our growing
communities.
You can also visitthePIGpodcast.
com for more ways to connect.
Kellie (46:25):
Finally, we would not be here without you.
To help us continue growing andexpanding our reach, please
rate The P-I-G, leave a review,and reach out if you have a
story you'd like featured on afuture episode.
Erin (46:39):
Thanks for being part of this journey with us.
Until next time, hogs andkisses everyone!
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