Still Here, Still Standing: Gini’s Journey from Tragedy to Triumph

Episode Transcript
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Kellie and Erin (00:08):
Welcome to The P-I-G, where we explore life,
love, loss and legacy throughreal conversations and
meaningful stories.
We're your hosts.
I'm Kellie, and I'm Erin.
We're sisters, best friends,sometimes polar opposites, but
always deeply connected by thelife, love, loss and legacy of
an incredible woman, our motherMarsha.

(00:28):
Today, we're joined by someonewhose story has quietly moved so
many Gini Thomas.
In August of 2012, a tragicmotorcycle accident claimed the
life of her husband, Joe, andnearly took her own life.
And yet, in the years since,Gini has become a steady and
unassuming force of love,resilience and presence in the

(00:49):
lives of everyone who knows her.
Gini may not have asked to be inthe spotlight, but the way she
has shown up for others withboth grace and grit to recover
from unimaginable hardship andcarry on after immense loss.
This is exactly why we askedher to share her story, and we
are so honored she said yes tothis conversation.
So, whether you're here for thefirst time or you've been with

(01:13):
us from the start, we invite youto settle in for a powerful
personal story, one that willhelp you connect more deeply to
your own and leave you feelingprofoundly inspired.
This is one of those life is socool moments for me.

(01:50):
Gini is friends with myboyfriend, Jason, and honestly,
I can't even remember how youtwo met, so you have to refresh
my memory on that.
But he thinks so highly of youand has shared a few tidbits
with me over the last year or soabout you and your life and
your journey, and when Kellieand I decided to start this
podcast, he was like you got toconnect with Jenny and then the

(02:11):
stars aligned last week, whileGini was in Austin for a
speaking engagement, which Ireally want you to share more
about today, and we got to havedinner.
It happened to be the day afterher 40th birthday and so we got
to celebrate with her.
We had such a beautifulconversation and now here we are
with you as a guest on thepodcast.

(02:31):
I am absolutely ecstatic thatyou're here.
I'm really looking forward toour conversation today and
really looking forward togetting to know more about you.

Gini (02:42):
My name is Gini Thomas, as you said.
My full name is actually SarahVirginia Thomas.
My parents decided to call meby the middle part of my middle
name and just confuse everyone,so that's spelled G-I-N-I just
lifted right out of my middlename.
I am originally from Montgomery, Alabama.
I spend a lot of time inTuscaloosa, Alabama.

(03:03):
That's where my boyfriend lives.
That's where I am today.
I was a communication studiesmajor.
I have worked in a vet clinic.
I have been a medical assistantat a pain management clinic.
It's weird how you bouncearound from thing to thing.
I am now a patient ambassadorfor Integrum, which is a company

(03:25):
that makes bone anchoredimplants for prosthetics, and I
am also a brand ambassador forAutobot, which is a huge
prosthetics manufacturer.
They make knees and feet andbraces and all kinds of things
that help try to keep peoplemobile.
My day-to-day kind of depends onwhere I am, what my schedule is

(03:47):
.
I do travel a lot for speakingengagements, for educational
events, for conferences.
If I'm not traveling, I'musually lounging around in
sweats, kind of like I am today,catching up on laundry, hanging
with the dogs, trying to keepup with emails.
I do have a few social mediacontracts as well, so that's an

(04:08):
easy thing to do from anywhereand it keeps me busy.
I enjoy it.
I do want to mention that Aprilis Limb Loss and Limb Difference
Awareness Month.
So the reason that I was inAustin last week and able to
have dinner with Erin and Jason,Jason's daughter, is I was
actually invited to speak at theOttobock headquarters in Austin

(04:29):
as part of their Living theBrand series and to help them
kind of kick off Limb Loss, limbDifference Awareness Month just
by telling my story and talkingabout how their components, how
their devices, have helped meregain my life and get active
again.
Limb Loss and Limb DifferenceAwareness Month, I think I live
it every single day, but it'snice to have a month to try and

(04:54):
highlight other stories, othersuccesses, looking at other
people's journeys, seeing howfar they've come.
I actually did a video withOttobock showing some of the
activities that I'm able to donow thanks to the components
that I have, and it's importantthat we realize that these
components are super expensive.
I think that's something thatpeople don't realize and that's

(05:14):
another thing we try to drawawareness to is that there are
still insurance laws in a lot ofstates that only allow for one
prosthetic device every fiveyears or so.
That means you get your regulareveryday walking around leg.
That doesn't mean necessarilythat you get something that's
waterproof, that you can showerin, that you can take to the

(05:35):
beach.
That means you don't getautomatically a running blade,
an activity leg If there areother activities you want to do.
These are typically things thatpeople have to apply for grants
for or raise money for.
Some of the insurance laws arestarting to change.
In some of the states there's amovement called So Everybody
Can Move and that's an attemptat changing the legislation to

(05:58):
mandate that insurance has toalso approve one other device
besides just the everydayfunctional walking around device
.

So just lots of things to raise awareness about
this month.
I thought it was so interestingthat the limb loss and limb
difference awareness month wasestablished in April of 2012 by
the Amputee Coalition.

Gini (06:19):
That was months before your accident, Right right,
there are lots of weird littletiming things in my story, I
think.
But yeah, I remember readingthat for the first time and
being a little bit blown away bythe timing of it all as well.

So with that, should we take a dive into your
story?

Gini (06:40):
Sure, I think the reason I'm here is I have experienced
some major loss in my life andit's been quite a ride trying to
sort things out in my own lifeand realizing the ripple effect
that it's had on others in mylife as well.
I actually met my husband, Joe,when I was a senior in college

(07:05):
and I needed one more credithour for that final semester in
order to graduate in the fouryears like I had planned.
So I ended up choosing theaterpracticum for my one hour and
that meant that I helped outwith theater program may or may
not be in a show.
I actually did have a role in ashow, not a speaking part, just
a background kind of role, andevery night after rehearsals the

(07:33):
theater director would take theentire cast out for drinks
wherever this one particularband was playing, and this band
was called the Zig Tones.
So Joe happened to be the bassplayer in this band and one
night we were at a bar called1048, player in this band, and
one night we were at a barcalled 1048.
It's this old hole in the wallplace.
They had a window unit, airconditioner, and I was sitting
right in front of that windowunit, not wearing very many
clothes like spaghetti strap,mini skirt type of thing, and it

(07:56):
was this air conditionersblowing straight on me.
So during the break, Joeimmediately came to me and he
said gosh, you've got to befreezing sitting right there and
it was like instant heat and Ijust said, no, actually I feel
really good.
And we ended up starting aconversation.
He was dating someone else, Iwas dating someone else.

(08:17):
In fact, I was supposed to geton an airplane the next morning
to go visit the person that Iwas seeing, and I ended up
canceling that flight and notgoing, and Joe ended up breaking
up with his person in the nextfew days as well.
And the rest is history.
When you know, you know.
So we dated for three years,got engaged in a wild way.

(08:39):
I'm going to have to go down arabbit hole and tell you all
this story just because yes,please do.

Yay.
We love rabbit trails!

Gini (08:48):
So Joe was a musician at night, played in bars at least
five nights out of the week, butduring the day he was bored.
So he went through this schooldown in New Orleans taught
himself how to do pictureframing.
So he started a picture framingbusiness that he ran basically
out of our dining room.
So early on in this process hecalled me and said that he had a

(09:10):
new framing client in thishouse down in Lowndes County
that's like 30 minutes away fromwhere we lived and they needed
a bunch of stuff framed fortheir hunting lodge there.
And he asked me if I would gowith him to check out just the
vibe of the place so that whenhe was looking at frames and
mats just to help him kind ofdecide artistically what was

(09:30):
going to look the best.
So I said, sure, I would getoff work at noon on Fridays and
typically I would pick up lunchon the way home.
That was just the way we hadalways done things.
So I called him when.
I was leaving work and I said,hey, I'm on the way, what do you
want to eat?
And he said oh, I alreadypicked up sandwiches from
Porcino's, one of our favoriteplaces, Great.
So I get home and I'm like getin the car, let's go and he says

(09:52):
no, no, no, we're going to takemy truck today, which I thought
was weird because we alwaystook my car everywhere,
especially long distance.
I got better gas mileage, butwhatever.

Didn't think too much of it.
So we're eating our sandwichesin the truck.

Gini (10:04):
We're in the middle of nowhere in Lowndes County and
all of a sudden this sheriff'sdeputy pulls in right behind us
and he's riding our bumper forlike five minutes.
And I I've noticed it and Iasked Joe like what is this
guy's problem?
Why is he riding your bumper?
And Joe says I don't know, I'mnot doing anything wrong, don't
worry about it.
Well, right, then lights andsirens went on and the guy

(10:24):
pulled us over in front of thislittle church.
So he comes to Joe's window andasked for his license,
insurance, all of that, and he'slike you're not from here, why
are you here in Lowndes County?
This is not where you live.
And Joe's like well.
I have this client here.
I have a picture framingbusiness.
I'm just going to look atthings.
And the guy's like okay, getout of the car, go stand back by
my car.

(10:45):
And then he comes to my sideand he asked for my license and
the same things.
Like you don't live here either.
Why are you here?
What are y'all doing here?
So I give him the same answers.
He makes me get out of the carand go stand by.

Joe.

Gini (10:55):
And I'm like what is this guy's problem?
I've never had anything likethis happen before.
And Joe's like just go alongwith it, it's fine.
Well then the cop asked tosearch the vehicle and Joe tells
him, yes, that it's fine.
And I'm like you, do not letthem search the vehicle.
What are you saying?
What is happening right now?
And he's like everything's fine.
So the guy goes through allJoe's musical equipment, is

(11:17):
questioning him on that.
Every answer we give.
This cop guy is just being ajerk about everything.
He finally gets around to Joe'sseat and he pulls out this
little cinched up black bag fromunder Joe's seat and he's like
uh-huh, what you got here.
And at this point Joe stopslooking at me, he looks at the
ground and he says I don't know,it's not mine.
And so he's looking at theground and I squat down to get

(11:38):
underneath him to look in hiseyes and go.

What do you mean?

Gini (11:40):
it's not yours, it's in your truck, you better know what
it is.
And then the cop looks in itand he says yeah, I wouldn't
want to tell her either, but I'mgoing to make you tell her.
So he hands Joe the bag and Joepulls out a ring and gets down
on one knee and and proposes.
This was a cop friend that hehad known for years.
They planned the whole thing.

(12:01):
They did a dress rehearsal theday before to time everything
out.
But yeah, I thought I was goingto jail and I got engaged.

Oh, that's such an incredible story.
That was my like.
You knew, that was the question.
That was like pounding in mychest right.

Gini (12:19):
Was this planned or was this completely unplanned?
Totally, totally planned.
And Joe actually had a bottleof champagne chilling in the
back of the truck, so we droveup a little bit further.
There was an overlook over theriver open.
The champagne celebrated.
It was all good.
So that was.
That was a good story.

That is a great story.
It is a great story.
Before you continue on withyour story, I would love to
learn a little bit more aboutJoe and why you fell in love
with him, although I think I cankind of tell why.

Gini (12:53):
I really don't know what it was in that first day.
Another small detail Joe was 20years older than me, actually
19 years and 51 weeks older.
There was a one week periodwhere he was only 19 years older
than me and originally that wasmy plan to tell my parents
about him during that one week,cause I thought that 19 years

(13:14):
sounded so much better than 20.
That whole plan never ends.
But anyway, I think it was justhis laid back personality, his
sense of humor, the way he couldkeep me calm.
He used to say all the time Iwould be freaking out about
something and he would just saydon't panic.
I don't have any tattoos, but Isaid if I ever did get one it

(13:34):
would have to be one that saysdon't panic.
Because I can still hear thatin my head all the time when I
start getting worked up aboutsomething don't panic.
So he just had that calmingeffect on me.
It made everything seem easier.
He made everything seem fun,whether it was going to the
grocery store or cleaning treeroots out of our pipes that
caused the water to back up intothe house.

(13:56):
I mean something that's grossthat you don't want to do, but
he somehow made that fun, so wejust always had a good time.

It sounds like you had a really beautiful
relationship.
As you think about what comesnext down the road for you and
Joe, and I'd love to have youcontinue sharing that story of
where you were going, but alsoincluding any defining moments
of what life was like beforethat accident.

Gini (14:26):
I think we had everything figured out.
I am not a clingy person at all.
I keep to myself a lot.
I like to have my alone time, Ilike to have my space, and I
think Joe and I worked so welltogether because he was a
musician who was gone everynight, or almost every night of
the week.
So I worked during the day, allday, he worked all night, but

(14:48):
we always saw each other atdinner.
We loved to be in the kitchencooking together.
In fact, when we registered forour wedding, like 90% of the
stuff we registered for waskitchen stuff.
And normally on our Fridayafternoons, after I got off work
and we had lunch, we would goto the restaurant supply store
and his big move was to findsomething that they would have

(15:09):
to order.
So it would come in thefollowing week and we would have
to go back the next week andlook around again while we were.
So we really enjoyed being inthe kitchen exploring new recipe
, finding new things that wecould enjoy to eat together.

That, right, there is a complete episode in
and of itself, right.
I relate so much to building arelationship around food and
cooking.
Erin can attest to this.
But that's what my husband,marcus, and I did.
I mean, we built our entireearly relationship all around
food and our number one favoritething to do together is spend

(15:47):
time together in the kitchen inthe evening.
So I love that you and Joe hadthat.

Gini (15:53):
Yeah, yeah, and I don't know that either one of us were
necessarily any good at it, hewas better at the, at the
entrees, and I was pretty goodat making desserts.
So it all it all worked out.
We could make a giant mess inthe kitchen, but we, we had a
system down.
So it all it all worked out.
We could make a giant mess inthe kitchen, but we, we had a
system down, so it wasn't ever.
You cook and I'll clean.
It was.
We're cooking together.
We're cleaning as we go.

(16:14):
This is our experience together, which I really loved too.

I love that.
How long did you guys datebefore you got married?

Gini (16:28):
We got engaged on our three-year dating anniversary
weekend and then it was anotherlike a year and a half before we
got married, I think for abouta year.
So we got engaged in July of2010, and then we got married in
March of 2011.
So yeah, not not quite a year,and we got married in March of
2011.
So yeah, not quite a year.
And we got married in Vegas.
Actually, we did not elope, itwas planned.

(16:50):
We knew that we had a bunch offriends who were going to have
to travel anyway, so we justdecided we would go somewhere
fun.
We got married at the top ofthe stratosphere that space
needle thing in Vegas, right atsunset.
So we got some amazing picture.
Did you ride the roller coaster?
We did not.
We did not.
We saw a lot of people, butJoe's big joke was that he was

(17:13):
going to do the big drop.
He was going to take the plungeof marriage and take the plunge
and jump off the building, buthe didn't do it.
But yeah, we got.
We got married on March 12th2012.
But yeah, we got.
We got married on March 12th2012.
Um, and we were married exactly17 months when our wreck
happened.

The wreck was August 12th.

Gini (17:32):
I think I said our date wrong.
March 12, 2011 is when we gotmarried and our wreck was August
12, 2012.
So, 17 months to the day whenthe wreck happened.
The day of the wreck, weactually this is the morning

(18:10):
that we were cleaning tree rootsout of our pipes.
We, the day before he did notplan a gig because he knew we
were going to be on themotorcycle the next day and he
wanted to be well-rested, sowe'd had a pretty lazy Saturday,
which was rare for us layingaround watching movies, cooking
dinner.
And then we got up early onthat Sunday morning I went to

(18:32):
take a shower and the showerdidn't drain.
So we immediately ran to HomeDepot.
We bought an industrialstrength pipe snake, because
this was something that happenedto our pipes Every few months.
We lived in an older house andnormally we rented a pipe snake
and we were tired of spendingmoney on it every few months.
So we thought, just bite thebullet and get one.

(18:54):
So went to Home Depot, got that, came back home, cleaned out
the pipes.
We're both disgusting.
Go take showers again and thenwe go to get on the motorcycle.
We were headed to visit Joe'smother a little over an hour
north of us and normally youwould take I-65 to go see her
and we had decided it would bebetter to take the safe route

(19:16):
this time, not get on theinterstate, take back roads.
So we had actually just passedunder I-65 on our back roads
path and a guy pulled out from aside street, ran a stop sign
and T-boned us and I rememberlike looking up and seeing a car
coming at us but not havinganywhere to bail out because of

(19:39):
the way traffic was moving and Iit was like it was slow motion.
From there I blacked out onimpact.
When I came to I was sitting inthe middle of the street.
Sitting up in the middle of thestreet with my hands on either
side of me and the first thing Isaw was my femur sticking
straight up through my jeans.
And it's so weird, the thoughtsthat go through your head when

(20:04):
something like this happens.
I remember thinking that boneis really yellow.
I didn't realize bone was soyellow.
I expected it to be more whiteand then I thought my leg looks
really, really bad.
There were bones sticking outin other places, everything was
crooked and I thought thisdoesn't hurt.
As bad as it is, it doesn'thurt.
So I must be in shock and Iprobably need to start telling

(20:27):
people things because I mightpass out.
So I look up a little bitfurther and I see our motorcycle
and it's destroyed.
And I look a little bit furtherand I see Joe and he's laying
face down in the street.
His helmet was still on, minehad been knocked off.
His eyes were kind of half open.
I could see that his tongue washanging out.

(20:47):
And at this point there was aguy next to me wiping blood off
my face and I kept saying canyou go check and see if my
husband is breathing?
Can you check and see if he'sbreathing?
And I think while I was stillpassed out, people had checked
on Joe and knew that he was gone, because I never saw anybody

(21:07):
checking on him the rest of thetime that I was still on the
scene.
Eventually, paramedics got thereand when I realized that they
were the medical people, I juststarted spitting out information
because I still was afraid Iwas about to pass out.
I was telling them my date ofbirth, my allergies, my
insurance, where they could findmy purse, who to call, and then
it took five guys to load meonto the stretcher, not because

(21:32):
I'm a heavy person, but becausemy leg had also been detached at
the hip and they were trying tokeep everything from falling
completely off my body.
By the time they were shovingme into the ambulance.
With the way the conversationswere going around me, I never,
nobody explicitly told me thatJoe was dead, but I just I kind

(21:52):
of picked up on it.
So the stretcher clicked intoplace and it was like a switch
flipped and all of a sudden Istarted feeling pain and I
started to scream.
And then I remember the medicsaying I know, sweetheart, I
know.
And then a needle went into myleft arm and I went out.
I ended up on a ventilator.
I was unconscious for about aweek.

(22:14):
A funny story to balance thesadness of that While I was in
the hospital, people would cometo see me and they said that I
would do this, give them athumbs up.
And they would say oh, this isgreat, she's given us a thumbs
up, she must be feeling okay.
And then one day they said Ihad the strength to hold up my

(22:34):
thumb but then also point to itwith my other finger and they
went oh, let's look at her thumb.
My thumb was broken too.

Oh, hello, yeah .
So, even though I was,unconscious in another world.

Gini (22:49):
on all the paralytics, with being on a ventilator, I
was still somehow able to tellthem that I had a broken thumb,
which clearly wasn't a big deal.
My leg was the major issue.
I had a head injury because myhelmet had been knocked off
pretty nasty.
They actually said it was atraumatic brain injury and I'm
surprised I don't have anylingering effects from that.
But I will blame stuff on itfrom time to time so I forget

(23:10):
somebody's name.
I forget to do something.
It's that TBI.
You know I can't help it, butyeah, I was really surprised
when I did wake up that I stillhad my leg.
Very surprised.
And the trauma surgeon actuallycame in the day that I was
fully conscious and he sat atthe end of my bed and that was a
Sunday and he said I'm here, Ihave nothing else to do right

(23:31):
now, so whatever you want toknow, ask it.
And I said do you, you reallythink this
leg is going to work again andhe said well, yeah, I, I think
you have about a 60% chance ofbeing functional with it again.
And he had x-rays that heshowed me of all the hardware
that he had put into my leg andI knew he'd invested a ton of
time already.

(23:51):
And he said it would take a lotmore surgeries and if at any
point I was tired of surgeriesor I wasn't cool with the plan,
to let him know and we couldrevisit the idea of amputation.
So I decided, since he'dalready spent so much time,
since everybody else had madethe decision to try to save my
leg, that I would go along withit.

(24:12):
And I did limb salvagesurgeries for about three years,
almost three years, before Istarted saying I can't do this
anymore, I'm not getting anymore functional.
I was on so much painmedication, muscle relaxers,
nerve pain medication,antidepressants, of course
because I'd lost my husband.

(24:33):
I had been through, I think,three or four shrinks.
At this point I was justmiserable with everything and I
I wanted, I wanted to have abetter quality of life and in my
brain at this point in recoverymy traumatic brain, injured
brain I thought that if Iamputated my time, that it would

(24:53):
take away a lot of the pain andthe trauma that I was still
experiencing from the loss ofJoe at the same time, because
every time I go back to thehospital it's like reliving

(25:14):
everything all over again.
So I finally made the finaldecision to amputate my leg, and
that surgery was August, the18th of 2015.
So just over three years afterthe accident, august is a big
month for me, it sounds like it,yeah, yeah.

(25:34):
So I immediately felt relief.
I had some phantom pain issuesearly on, which I was expecting,
because I knew I had crazynerve damage and everyone told
me to expect the phantomsensations that kind of died off
.
After about six months I wasable to be fit with a
traditional socket styleprosthesis.

(25:55):
That means just the cup lookingthing that your limb plugs into
socket, that you plug somethinginto, and I was pretty active
with that.
For a while I was even able towork at a prosthetics clinic in
Athens, georgia.
I uprooted myself, moved toGeorgia to work over there as
sort of a patient advocate,patient ambassador.

(26:17):
I met with patients before theyhad amputation.
I was with them as they wentthrough the process of healing,
of physical therapy, of beingfit with their own prosthetic
device and sort of acting as amentor for them.
Along the way I also got tolearn some of the technical side
of how prosthetics are made,which I'm eternally grateful for

(26:38):
.
That knowledge as well it'sbeen extremely useful in my life
moving forward.
Extremely useful in my lifemoving forward.
After about I don't know 16months or so, I started having a
lot of pain at the distal endof my limb.
I had amputated above the knee.
So I was having pain at the endof my femur where things had

(27:01):
been cut, and we went in forx-rays and noticed that there
was a problem.
When I had the amputation Istill had hardware in my femur
to kind of piece together how itwas broken and that femur was
still pretty weak.
So the idea was let's leave therod in her femur, we'll just
cut through it.
That rod will help stabilizethings and as she starts to
weight bear again, hopefullycirculation will improve and the

(27:23):
bone will get stronger.
Well, the opposite had happened.
Not to get too much into theweeds with prosthetic technology
, but a lot of times within asocket you're not weight bearing
on the bone and circulation cankind of be restricted.
So the end of my femur hadactually started to disintegrate
and I had the jagged piece ofthat metal rod sticking into

(27:45):
muscle belly with every singlestep that I was taking.
So I had to go in for my 13thsurgery at that point to have
that hardware removed and forthem to amputate a little bit
higher to get up to healthy bone.
So I was thinking, okay, 13,that's going to be the end of my
surgical process.
Wrong again.
So a few months later, as I'mtrying to start walking with a

(28:07):
brand new socket that we've hadto make to accommodate the new
size of my limb, I'm having thepain at the end of my limb again
and we go in for x-rays.
And now I've developed an issuecalled heterotopic ossification
, which is a fancy way to saythat.
I had bone spurs growing at theend of my femur and it was like
a big hook that was againdigging into muscle with every

(28:30):
step that I was taking.
So that meant having anothersurgery making my limb a little
bit shorter, starting theprocess all over.
And at this point I was dealingwith scar tissue on the nerves
in my limb too.
Those are called neuromas, so Ihave to have a surgery to
revise that as well.
And over the next several yearsI was either having surgery for

(28:51):
a neuroma or for a new bonespur, and every single surgery
made my limb shorter and shorteruntil I got to the point that I
really couldn't even fit asocket prosthesis anymore,
because there was not enough legleft for a socket to grab onto.
So then I had a new spurgrowing and my surgeon said I

(29:14):
don't think I want to cutanymore.
I think I'm going to knock youout of the running for this
thing called osseointegration ifI do that.
So you've been living oncrutches for a while, if you can
stick with it do it and we'llrevisit down the line.
So I did, and I with all ofthose surgeries and everything.
I lived exclusively on crutchesfor over three years before I

(29:34):
found out about osseointegrationbone anchored implants with
this company called Integrum andtheir Oprah implant system and
eventually I did get approvedfor this procedure.
It's a two surgery process, somore surgeries, more recovery.
It's a longer rehab process,but I was fortunate to be

(29:56):
successful with this surgery andnow I'm up and going again.
I get to work with this company, Integrum, as one of their
ambassadors.
I get to help others in theprocess.
So it's been quite the journey,quite the learning experience
along the way, but I feel veryfortunate to have landed where.

I am.
Am I correct, Gini, that you'vehad 23 total operations since
the initial accident?

Gini (30:20):
I'm at 24, now I'm at two dozen.
I thought an even dozen wasgoing to be it.
Amputation was surgery 12, butI've doubled that.
Most recently I've still hadissues with neuromas on the
nerve in my limb and there aresurgical procedures that are
supposed to prevent those fromforming again.
But I've learned that mysuperpower is regrowing things

(30:42):
that I shouldn't those bonespurs and those nasty nerve
balls of scar tissue.
So we'll see.
My most recent surgery wasFebruary 18th of this year, so
I'm almost seven weeks post-opfrom that and trying to get my
muscles strengthened up again.
I'm walking with a significantlimp right now, but we'll get
better with that.

You know you described so eloquently,
beautifully and poignantly, withsuch strength, the day that
changed everything for you.
And you know, on The P-I-G wetalk about stories of life, love
, loss and legacy, and you coverall four of those really
profoundly.
And we talk about loss of allkinds and I couldn't help but

(31:25):
think, as you were sharing yourwhole entire story, that the
losses have been somulti-layered for you.
You lost the dream of themarriage to Joe that you had
anticipated having for alifetime.
You lost your husband of only17 months.
You simultaneously lost a lotof life due to just the

(31:48):
circumstances of the accident,the injury that you had
eventually lost your leg.
Because of that, you've livedthrough something that not a lot
of people can quiteempathetically wrap their whole
head and heart around.
Is sharing your story healingfor you after all of these years
, or is it something that youfind that you're still carrying

(32:10):
day in and day out?

Gini (32:12):
I definitely believe that it's healing.
By sharing my story, I thinkI'm able to help others and
provide a little bit of hope,and anytime I'm able to help
someone a little bit of hope andanytime I'm able to help
someone, it heals my heart alittle bit and it helps give me

(32:34):
the motivation to keep going,because there are definitely
days where I really don't wantto get out of bed.
Even now I still have days likethat.
But if I can find a way, ifsomebody sends me a message on
Instagram when I'm having a badday and they say, hey, I'm a new
amputee and I'm struggling andI don't know what I'm doing, but
I saw your page and I'mlearning a lot and it's really
helped me, all of a sudden itjust changes my whole mood
around to know that I've helpedsomebody else just by sharing my

(32:56):
entire story.
So it's healing for sure tohelp others, to share my story.

That's really beautiful, Gini.
P iggybacking off of that alittle bit and maybe it's
changed over time.
But initially, after theaccident, what or who really
helped you kind of survive thosefirst days and weeks and months
?
And now you know that we'reyears removed from it, are those

(33:23):
same things and people stillpresent and kind of your anchor,
or has that shifted a littlebit?

Gini (33:30):
This is where I might get a little bit teary.
My mom was really the one whowas there.
She was the one in the roomwhen I first came off the
ventilator.
She's the one that I looked atand immediately said Joe's gone,
isn't he?
And she just nodded and wecried, but she was there.

(33:51):
She was the one who kept mefocused on gratitude On the
worst days.
She would get home from work.
I actually had to move back inwith my parents for a little
while, because the house Joe andI had was two stories bedrooms,
full bathrooms.
We're all upstairs, and that'sjust something I couldn't handle
by myself.
So I had moved back in with myparents and my mom would come

(34:15):
home from work and of course,I'd be in a horrible mood or
crying and doom and gloom.
I was Eeyore every day and shewould say, ok, well, you've told
me everything that's bad today,now tell me something that's
good.
And I would say there's notanything good.
Like, are you looking at mylife?
Do you see what's happeninghere?
And she would say, okay, well,I'll start.

(34:36):
You opened your eyes today.
You have a roof over your head,you're laying in a nice
comfortable bed right now.
You have a good team of doctors, you have food to eat and the
list would just snowball and getbigger and bigger and bigger.
And still to this day, when I'mhaving a bad day, if I can

(34:58):
bring it back to gratitude, Ican list the things that were
bad that happened today.
But when I go to list thethings that were good it always
outweighs the bad, no matterwhat.
My mom is actually the reason Imoved back to Montgomery from
Athens, Georgia.
She had polycystic kidneydisease.
It's a genetic thing.
I thankfully do not have it,but she also suffered with

(35:19):
dementia.
I think is kind of a sideeffect from the kidney disease
and things not filteringproperly is kind of a side
effect from the kidney diseaseand things not filtering
properly.
So my dad was kind ofstruggling trying to take care
of my mom by himself.
I also have a younger brotherwith Down syndrome who lived at
home with my folks, so he reallyneeded the help.
So I moved back to Alabama tohelp out and at that point that

(35:41):
was 2020, late 2020.
And my mom just wasn't quite mymom anymore.
By late 2021, she had kind oflost all recognition of who we
were.
She knew that I was Gini.
She knew that I was someonefamiliar, but she had no idea
that we were related and it wasa huge, huge struggle for me to

(36:03):
kind of let go of her then, eventhough she was still with us.
My dad, I think, couldn't letgo of her then and he's
struggled since she passed.
She passed in February of 2023.
So that was another big lossfor our family.
It's interesting, though I feelvery fortunate for my wreck

(36:25):
happening when it did.
My dad and I kind of had arocky relationship when my wreck
happened and he ended up beingthe one who had to help me out
with all of my doctor'sappointments, because my mom was
still working and he had justkind of semi-retired, so he had
more free time and that gave usa chance to reconnect and get
closer again.
So he had more free time andthat gave us a chance to

(36:47):
reconnect and get closer again.
So it was good that we had amuch better relationship when I
moved back to Alabama and I wasable to communicate with him
better on a daily basis and sortof hold his hand as he walked
through losing the love of hislife as well.
I don't like being someone'sgrief mentor or grief coach, and
that's still something that Istruggle with seeing my dad

(37:08):
break down and cry.
I don't think I'd ever seen himcry more than two or three
times in my entire life.
Before my mom died, I told himI had decided to amputate my leg
, which I thought was a happything, and he burst into tears,
and I wasn't thinking about itfrom his perspective.
I was looking at it from myperspective only and not

(37:31):
realizing the effect that itwould have on everyone else
around me.
So my dad was actually a bigpart in my recovery as well, and
I still have him.
I just I don't have my momanymore, but her lessons of
gratitude and idea of making agratitude list still sticks with
me to this day.

I love that so much.
Thank you for sharing that.
As you know, Kellie, and I canrelate to that loss, you know
for sure.
And it's just as you know.
As you navigate every twist andturn right, it just becomes a
new, a new normal Right,learning to live without them

(38:17):
them Right when so much of yourlife has been based around this
person being in your life andall of a sudden, they're just
lifted out.

Gini (38:20):
Yeah, and I've had conversations with people.
I don't know if it's harder tolose someone suddenly and not
have any creation for it, or ifit's more difficult to watch
them slowly fade away, like youcan make all the plans for the
funeral and pay all the billsfor the cemetery and everything
ahead of time, but you're stillnever truly prepared for that
loss.

(38:40):
So it's been interesting to seethe differences in my dad's
experience versus mine and justa little bit over two years
since the loss of your mom andI'm really taken, jenny.

Quite honestly, aaron and I talk about this a
lot in relation to our ownpurpose and reason for even
starting this podcast and aproject we're working on, and
the many different experiencesthat we have throughout our
lifetime that encapsulatestories of life, love, loss and
legacy, and yours is so profound, I mean on so many different

(39:40):
levels.
We could have a conversationthat spans five, six or 10
episodes.
So we're going to have you backagain for sure, because there's
so much that I'd love toexplore with you in relation to
the loss of your mom's memoryand the loss of that

(40:00):
relationship between your momand your dad, and even the loss
of probably what your parentsand you thought life was going
to be like with your brother.
Right, how much younger thanyou is he?

Gini (40:13):
He is two and a half years younger than I am, so he is 37,
but he will tell you that he is29.
And every year on his birthdayhe says I'm 29 again, and you
cannot argue with him on thatfact.
He is 29 forever.

So he just celebrated the eighth
anniversary of his 29th birthday.
I've been holding firm to thatfor, let's see, 25 years now
coming up.
I'm about to have the 26thanniversary of my 29th birthday,
so figure that one outmathematically.
What is your brother's name?

(40:50):
His name is Will, and does helive with your dad or does he
live independently?

Gini (40:59):
He lives with my dad.
He's fairly self-sufficient.
He sometimes struggles withsome of his ADLs.
Like, he's capable of doinglaundry.
Doesn't always fold it the best, it doesn't always get himself
fully clean in the shower, buthe can fix most of the foods
that he likes to eat.
He's very, very picky, sothere's only a handful of things
and he knows how to fix justabout all of them and he can

(41:21):
help out around the house.
It just has to be his idea orelse he's never going to do it.
He will find every excuse in thebook as to why he shouldn't do
it and it will never get done.
So yeah, he still lives with mydad.
Eventually I will inherit him,so that'll be fun.
He is not thrilled about thatidea.
I'm the drill sergeant and I'mthe one in the family who makes

(41:43):
him follow the rules.
We have an older brother aswell, but he's married and has
three girls and has a full lifeof his own to keep up with.
So Will will eventually come tolive with me.

And how is your dad today?

Gini (42:04):
My dad today is doing pretty well, all things
considered.
Emotionally, I think we'redoing a lot better.
In the early grief processthere were tears just about
every single day.
He went through a phase wherehe just really wanted to get the
house clean after everythinghad happened, and that involved
cleaning out the closetimmediately and getting rid of
the things that some peoplewould hold onto for a long time.

(42:25):
I did not get rid of a lot ofJoe's clothes for a very, very
long time.
My dad was ready to donateeverything Like it was.
It was almost too painful forhim to even walk into his closet
to get dressed and have to lookat my mom's clothes every day
Look at my mom's shoes, to lookat her curling iron on the
bathroom counter.
So we went through a majorpurge to get things back in

(42:49):
order for him.
In some ways this is going tosound weird, but I think it's
easier for him to reminisceabout things now Because when my
mom was still here but didn'tremember anything, my dad would
try to reminisce with her,remember when we ate at this
restaurant, remember when wetook this trip, and she would
look at him like he was crazy.

(43:10):
I've never been there.
I don't know what you'retalking about, I don't know who
you are, and that would havehurt his feelings so bad because
in his mind he's going.
This was such a pivotal momentin our relationship, this dinner
that we had was such a big dealat the time.
How could she not remember that?
And I would have to say it's,it's not her, that's not even
her in there anymore.

(43:31):
So it's, it's not somethingthat she's doing to hurt you,
it's that memory just doesn'texist in her mind anymore.
It's not her saying that shedoesn't remember you, and I
think that was really hard.
So now he relives thosememories, it's a little bit
easier for him, I think, becausethere's no one there saying
that didn't happen.

(43:52):
I don't know what you'retalking about, I don't know
those people.
So it's easier in some ways,harder in some ways.
I took my dad to eat for hisbirthday last year and he broke
down at the end of dinner justbecause that's something that he
would have liked to do with mymom, not saying he didn't enjoy
the time with me, but at the endof it he had the realization
that this is something that Iwould normally do with my wife,

(44:14):
not with my daughter, and thatwas painful.
But he's doing pretty wellphysically.
He's in pretty good shape.
He did just have neck surgeryback in November, so we've been
rehabbing from that.
Again.
I was the drill sergeant.
He didn't necessarily like mebeing the nurse and keeping him
on task with everything, but atthe same time he was thankful

(44:34):
that I was there and got tospend a lot of extra time with
me through that recovery.
So it's it's good he's doingwell.

I read in your bio or one of your articles that
you were working as a medicalassistant at a pain clinic and
then you wound up at the samepain clinic after your accident
when you were going through yourrecovery.

Gini (44:57):
Yeah, I did, and you know that's kind of a cool story too.
I've always believed thateverything happens exactly as it
should and exactly when itshould, and I had previously
worked at a vet clinic.
I didn't feel like there wasany room to grow, it was just
kind of stagnant, wasn'tenjoying it after almost two
years so I started looking forother jobs, put in an

(45:18):
application at a temp agency andthis pain management clinic
hired me just as a receptionist.
They unfortunately did not getmy full resume so they had no
idea I even had a college degreeat that point.
And after the three monthperiod grace period, I guess of
the job there I had a meetingwith the office manager and they

(45:39):
said something about college orthat they knew one of my
brothers from a class in collegeand I said, yeah, I went to AUM
, Auburn University inMontgomery and they said, wait,
you went to college and I said,yeah, I have a degree, and
they're like what we didn't knowabout that.
We need to have you doing morestuff than just answering the
phones and making appointmentsand filing charts, like, would
you be open to being trainedbeing a medical assistant?

(46:02):
So working in the procedurerooms, helping out with the
follow-ups, working with some ofthe nurse phone calls just to
help relieve their load and Iwas like, yeah, sure, so they
trained me in all those things.
I got to work in the procedureroom.
I got to learn steriletechnique.
I got to learn how to work thefluoroscope to take images
during procedures.
I got to help in the kind ofrecovery process.

(46:23):
I learned a lot.
My pharmacology game is realstrong.
I know about all the drugs.
I think I was very fortunate tohave that job when my wreck
happened because, again, I knewevery single drug that they were
putting me on.
In fact, when they wereswitching me from IV medication
to all oral medication, theyhanded me this full cup of pills

(46:44):
and I said I need to know whatevery single one of these things
are and why I'm taking it.
And they actually said, whenthey got to Lexapro, I remember
saying I don't need that, I'mnot depressed.
This is like 10 days after thewreck and they're like, uh, I
think you do need it, you justhaven't your brain hasn't caught
up to everything yet, so justgo with it.
Yeah, so learned a lot aboutpharmacology.

(47:05):
I knew about all the bad thingsthat could happen with taking
pain medication.
I was not initially onOxyContin, but down the road
they had put, they put me onOxyContin and I cried that day
because I had heard horrorstories.
I had seen what it could do topatients and I just did not want
to be one of those people.
But some people need that stuffand I took it for a short while

(47:28):
.
I also knew going intosurgeries with that much pain
medication in your system makespost-op pain recovery even more
difficult.
So I actually took myself offOxyContin a full two weeks prior
to amputation in order to makemy post-op pain control easier.
And that's not something that Iever would have known about.
That's not something I everwould have done had I not worked

(47:51):
in that field beforehand.
So very, very fortunate forthat education.
The doctors I worked for wereincredible, in fact.
When the wreck happened, theycame up to Birmingham that's an
hour and a half away.
That's where I was transportedand they told my parents we know
she's already down half herincome, losing Joe.
We're not going to stop payingher.

(48:12):
We're going to keep paying herlike a day of work.
We don't want her to lose herinsurance benefits.
Make sure everything's stillcovered.
She can come back to work doingwhatever she can do whenever
she wants to.
And I ended up going back towork in December, November, late
November, early December ofthat year just working in

(48:33):
billing and insurance.
So I would sit at a desk withmy leg propped up to keep it
from swelling and I would inputcodes, procedure codes from the
notes and help with puttingthose charges in.
I didn't last very long withthat because, again, I was still
having surgeries off and on andeventually I felt like I was
kind of doing them wrong bycontinuing to draw benefits from

(48:56):
them when they weren't gettingmuch from me in return.
So I ended up leaving andfiling for disability at that
point, which is a whole otherissue that we could spend
another episode on.
But again, very thankful forthat pain management clinic for
those doctors.
One of those doctors is still mypain management physician for

(49:17):
those doctors.
One of those doctors is stillmy pain management physician Now
.
He treats my dad as well and isalways there to help out.
In fact, he lost his wife acouple of years ago as well, and
he reached out to me and saidhow, jenny, I knew you were
tough, but I had no idea howtough you were.
Like I, I don't know how to getthrough this and I don't know
how you got through it.
So that was kind of surprisingto hear from him as well, the

(49:39):
one that I always thought of asbeing.
You know, you think of doctorsas being so high up that they
don't ever have emotions, butthey do.
They do, and he still takesgreat care of us.
So very fortunate to have himin my corner.

I was going to ask you, Gini, before we switch
to life after loss and findingpurpose again outside of your
mom, because it sounds like shewas so instrumental in your
mental, emotional and spiritualhealing immediately after the
accident but was there anythingelse that really carried you

(50:13):
through that time and, if so,that has also sustained you in
the transition to the life thatyou've lived since then?

Gini (50:22):
We have always been a religious family, so I am a
Christian, I do believe in God.
I am also Presbyterian, so I dobelieve in a predestination,
which can be controversial, butI do believe that everything is
already planned out andeverything happens exactly as
it's supposed to happen, whenit's supposed to happen.

(50:42):
And that can be a good and abad thing.
It can be really frustrating.
I think early on I questionedeverything because I was like
God why would you even allow meto meet someone to then pull
them away from me so quickly?
Like what was the point of that?
Why would you do that?
And it's taken space and timegetting away from the accident

(51:08):
to realize, okay, now I know whythings happened the way they
did.
I know why things lined up theway they did.
There are things I learned frommy relationship with Joe, with
Joe's family, our experiencestogether, that still help me in
my life today.
But it's it's a tough thingbecause you do question why, why
do bad things happen to goodpeople?

(51:29):
And I think you do learn thatGod loves his children and he
does allow them to experiencepain, but he also rewards them
with such great treasure as well, and I really have been so
blessed at every step of the way.
Having these amazing bosses atthe pain clinic that helped to

(51:52):
take care of me, having parentsaround me, having the time to
foster that relationship with myparents as well those are
things that I could not havedone if I was still just rocking
right along in my life.
I would not have had that time,I would not have been free to
help take care of my mom in theway that I was able to do before
she passed.
So I think it just it takestime and space to realize all of

(52:17):
that, but our faith definitelyplayed a role in keeping me
strong throughout everything.
Even though I was questioningit, I still had faith that all
right one day I'm going torealize why all of this is
happening.
I may not get the full answers,but maybe I'll feel a little bit
better about why thingshappened the way that they did.
And I have to say my life ispretty good now and I'm happy

(52:40):
with the way things have turnedout, as weird as that may say,
but life goes on and there arestill good things to celebrate.

And I think that that is such an incredible
point, because one of the thingsthat I was going to ask you
about was if there were anymoments in time, any turning
points in your recovery.
Right, that felt likebreakthrough moments for you,
but I think, piggybacking off ofwhat you just said, it's so

(53:08):
beautiful.
Your strength and yourresilience and your perseverance
and your faith is admirable.

Gini (53:16):
Thank you.
It wasn't always that strong.
It takes a village to doeverything right and I have a
great village around me to help.
Looking for a pivotal moment inthe journey, I think amputation

(53:37):
really was a big turning pointfor me getting off all of the
pain, medicine and feeling likeI was starting to reclaim a
little bit of my life and alittle bit of my independence.
Even though that wasn't the endof my surgical journey by any
means.
That was a big point where Istarted actually feeling like
myself again and feeling healthyand feeling like I did actually
have hope at a normal lifemoving forward.

(53:58):
So big.
It was a big decision, but itwas one that needed to be made
and it's it's paid off.

Yeah for sure.
Well, and such a pivotal momentright, where you were going
down one path right, and yougave it a real valiant effort
right, years of you knowattempting to, you know save
that leg and all of that.
And so I think that you know,just like we talked about in the

(54:25):
loss, you know where, havingconversations about, you know
losing somebody suddenly, or youknow having time to plan and
prepare, but nothing canactually prepare you right,
sometimes the hardest part isthe anticipation, right, and
what we do in our heads to buildthings up.
And so I feel like there wasalso probably an element of that

(54:48):
decision that gave you kind ofsome peace to close one chapter
right that it just wasn'tworking.
You were trying and trying andtrying, and sometime it was
physically taxing, of course,but the emotional and mental tax
that that takes on a person,and so I'm sure there was an

(55:10):
element of it where you just gotto kind of close that chapter
and say, okay, we're going to,I'm going to make a different
decision and we're going toswitch gears and now we're going
to go down this other path andthen having the success that
you've had with that surgery andnew prosthetic right, like,
just all of those pieces is areally beautiful thing, but that

(55:32):
took a lot of strength for youto be able to look at something
that hadn't been working for somany years and then to make a
different decision movingforward, I think that does also
play into my whole theory thateverything works out as it
should when it should and givingmyself that time with all those
surgeries.

Gini (55:51):
People have asked if you could go back and do it all over
again.
Would you amputate immediately?
And a part of me wants to say,yeah, my leg should have been
taken immediately because it wastrashed.
But a bigger part of me says itwasn't the right time.
It just wasn't the right timeand the way things have lined up
since then, if I had amputatedimmediately I never would have

(56:12):
met so many of the people that Iwas able to meet along the way
during that salvage journey.
The way I got to thatprosthetics clinic in Georgia,
my trauma surgeon in Birminghamended up leaving and going to
another hospital right outsideof Atlanta and he put me in
touch with the crew in Athensand that sort of helped me build

(56:33):
my prosthetic network that Ihave today, which is a massive
network.
I mean, the amputee communityand prosthetics industry is
relatively small but I'mconnected to a lot of people in
it now and I never would havemade those connections if things
had not lined up the way theydid in the timeline of
everything that happened.

(56:53):
So, yeah, I amputated rightwhen I needed to, and I think I
started to learn to advocate formyself at that time too.
I kind of needed those threeyears of listening to everyone
else to figure out this.
This isn't working.
I need to figure out what'sright for Jenny and Jenny's life
and start asking thosequestions and moving towards

(57:16):
making my own decisions in thatrespect, and that's something
that I still have to do when Iget new doctors and they don't
understand something.
Nobody knows my body betterthan I do, and a lot of times I
have to push for extra tests tobe done to confirm what I've
known all along.
But I found my voice and I'vehad a lot of practice at it, so

(57:36):
I'm good at it now.
That time was necessary.
That's a gift, yeah.

Yeah, it's a big gift, as you were and Erin
were talking earlier.
Gini, I was thinking about youbeing your own advocate and the
moment that you stepped intoyour faith and your confidence
and your belief and also yourawareness that things are not
working the way that we had allplanned, and therefore I'm going

(58:03):
to become the advocate of myown journey, because I'm the
only one traveling this road inthese shoes.
Nobody else had the empathy tobe able to sit in that space
inside of you, next to you, yes,but not to be able to see it
through your perspective and beable to make those really tough
decisions.
And I also appreciated how youspoke about your father's

(58:26):
perspective, that you learnedlater that that was actually
really difficult as a loss forhim, but you didn't even learn
that until you had conversationyears after you had been an
advocate for your own selfduring that time.
So I don't know if you haveanything more that you'd love to

(58:47):
share about that.
I just think that the conceptof becoming an advocate for
yourself in that medical journeyis such an important message to
others who haven't quite gottenthere yet, who could be on this
journey but don't know quitehow to advocate for themselves.

Gini (59:05):
It's not an easy thing to do, and sometimes that might
mean finding a whole new team ofdoctors, which presents its own
challenges.
I've had to go outside thestate, travel far outside of my
state sometimes, to findphysicians who are willing to
listen to me and willing to dothe tests that I've requested.

(59:27):
You just have to know that youyourself know your body better
than anyone else.
And if no one is listening toyou, if no one is truly getting
to the bottom of your questions,then it's time to move on and
get another opinion, and I haveleft surgeons that I thought I
was going to be with for theduration, or programs that I

(59:50):
thought on the outside were thebest of the best, and that's not
always the case.
They might be the best forsomeone else, but if they're not
the best for you and yoursituation, I strongly encourage
you, sooner than later, to seekother answers, seek other
providers.

Kellie and Erin (01:00:09):
It's easier now a little bit, I think, in the
age of social media.

Gini (01:00:12):
So there are tons of support groups for everything
amputees, basically all amputees, for those with
osseointegration, those withdifferent issues after
amputation so you can kind ofgauge and find out have you had
this before?
Who's the doctor that you saw?
Who do you, what do you guysthink is the best surgeon for me
to see for this particularissue?

(01:00:33):
The doctor I'm seeing isbrushing me off.
Is there anybody else who'sdealt with this?
What else can I expect?
So that helps in a way thesedays, for sure.
But yeah, you just can't beafraid of going way outside your
parameters to find thoseanswers.
Listen to your body and staypesky and advocate for yourself
as loudly as you can.

Pesky, I love that P word, I know.

Gini (01:00:59):
I'm going to use this opportunity to shout out another
podcaster.
I'm a huge, huge true crime fanand I followed the whole
Murdoch murder saga in SouthCarolina closely.
And there's a podcaster, MandyMatney, who actually had a
podcast called Murdoch Murdersand she has since changed it to
True Sunlight to shed light onother corruption and other

(01:01:22):
issues and weird cases not onlyin South Carolina but elsewhere
in the country.
But her whole thing is staypesky, because she was right
from the very beginning.
She was right about that wholecase and nobody listened to her.
Everyone wanted to shut herdown and her whole motto was
stay pesky, stay pesky, staypesky.
So I actually have a sticker onmy leg that says stay pesky

(01:01:45):
because I had to be quite peskywith some of these doctors along
the way.

I love that.
I love that you introduced meto this podcaster.
I love that you introduced meto this podcaster.
She's amazing she is she'sremarkable?
And I do want to say, with whatKellie said, and then your
response is you are such asource of strength and I know
that you will continue to be forso many people and I think that

(01:02:12):
, yes, everything in yourjourney happened exactly the way
that it was supposed to, in theright timing that it was
supposed to, and I can't helpbut think that a part of that is
because of the effect and theinfluence that you will have on
those coming after you throughthis journey, to shed some just

(01:02:34):
perspective and insight andlight into this is not a cookie
cutter world, right and justlike loss and grief and we talk
all the time, especially on thispodcast and through personal
conversations that Kellie andI've had, that everyone's story
is different, everyone's journeyis different and it's really.

(01:02:56):
You are a gift to so many peoplein so many different ways.
But there is no doubt in mymind that you have gone through.
Part of the reason that youhave gone through what you've
gone through in the timing thatyou have is so that you can help
others journey through it.
You're doing a remarkable job.
You're doing incredible work inthis world.

Gini (01:03:18):
Gini, thank you.

(01:03:43):
I'll hop back to how I metJason, your lovely boyfriend.
Yes, so through this wholeamputation journey and then
especially since I've hadOsseointegration amputation
journey, and then especiallysince I've had Osseointegration
and that's a newer technologyI've been documenting my whole
journey on social media.
It started out with mostlyFacebook stuff right after the

(01:04:05):
wreck, because I got tired ofhaving to send a text to 30
people to let them know what wasgoing on, so I just started
posting on Facebook anytimesomething happened.
And then I got more intoInstagram and Instagram exploded
.

And after I had .

Gini (01:04:17):
SEO integration, because it's such a novelty.
For some reason my account justwent nuts.
I mean, I went from maybe overa thousand followers to 10,000
overnight and then it jumped toa hundred thousand and I kind of
plateaued a little bit afterthat, which is fine.
That's way more than I can keepup with.
But Jason, somehow or other,saw one of my videos one day and

(01:04:41):
, I guess, started lookingaround at my page and he at the
time had a podcast calledTalking During Movies.
So he randomly sent me a DM outof the blue.
Hey, this is weird, but I havethis podcast and I'm always
trying to talk to strong,powerful women.
That, I think, would be a greatexample for my own daughter.
So would you have any interestin being on this podcast?

(01:05:04):
Here's some information aboutit.
Talking during movies was justyou watch one of your favorite
movies throughout the podcastand you talk about different
clips and weave your own storyinto it at the same time.
It's a really fun setup.
So I agreed.
I think we had maybe a chatbefore the podcast.
It wasn't very much, but thenwe talked throughout the podcast

(01:05:26):
, of course, and we stayed intouch and I've become great
friends with.
Jason.
We had never met in personuntil last week.
Actually, I've gotten to knowHarper, his daughter, really
well.
She will text or FaceTime mechecking on me, which is amazing
that this kid does that.
She's absolutely brilliant andI love hearing from her all the

(01:05:46):
time.
Just makes my day.
So yeah, we've, we've gotten tobe good friends.
I think that was maybe threeyears ago, two years.
It was pretty soon after myOsseo integration, so maybe like
two and a half years ago, twoyears.

It was pretty soon after my Osseo integration,
so maybe like two and a halfyears ago, but yeah.

Gini (01:05:59):
I love that, While all the internet works.
But another timing thing,because that has led me here
today.

I love that so much and we're grateful you're
here.
So I'd like to transition tolife after these losses and
finding purpose again.
In the aftermath of a traumaand a tragedy, especially as
significant as the one you wentthrough, there's this process of
figuring out what life lookslike now, spiritually,

(01:06:30):
emotionally, mentally.
We've talked a lot about thatand you've shared some of the
blessings that have come out ofthat and the relationships that
have come out of that.
But I'd love to just expand onthat a little bit, if you're
open to it how you move throughthat grief process to the other
side, and what life looks likefor you today and what brings

(01:06:50):
you joy.

Gini (01:06:51):
I think with all of the surgeries that I've had, I
wasn't sure that I was evergoing to achieve true happiness
again, that I was ever going tobe in a space where I was
comfortable even reallyseriously dating again, not just
with the loss of Joe never hadan issue with the body image or
confidence there with dating butjust knowing that I could

(01:07:15):
potentially be having surgeriesfor a long time.
How fair is that to put on tosomebody else?
I wasn't sure what my workinglife would look like.
And full disclosure.
Even though I'm working withthese companies, I'm not fully
employed by anyone, so I dostill receive disability
benefits for the insurance.
If I can ever get to a pointwhere I'm able to go more than a

(01:07:36):
year without at least onesurgery, then maybe somebody
will hire me full time.
But until then nobody wants tobring on that liability, so to
speak.
So, it's been a little bit of ajourney to get back to this
point where I even feelcomfortable with what I'm doing.
I think I started feelingbetter about things after I had

(01:07:57):
osteo integration and I wasmoving well again.
There happened to be arepresentative from Integra at
my prosthetics clinic at one ofmy follow-up appointments and he
said you know, I looked you upand at this point I had a little
bit of a following on socialmedia, and he said do you have
any interest at all in being anambassador with Integrum, a

(01:08:19):
company that makes theosseonegraded implant?
And I was like, yeah, maybe.
What does that entail?
And he said well, we've got afew people in mind, but we
really want to start anambassador program where we have
a whole team of people who canspeak to potential patients, who
can walk alongside them throughtheir journey, who can answer
questions along the way and we'dalso, you know, take you to

(01:08:41):
trade shows.
You get to be kind of the showpony.

And I said yeah , sure, I'm interested.

Gini (01:08:46):
So I hopped on board with Integrum in November of 2022.
And I already had experiencetelling my story and helping
other patients because I workedat a prosthetics clinic before
kind of doing the same thing,but it was on a much larger
scale.
I feel like with Integra, likewe're talking lots of travel,

(01:09:06):
big travel, getting on airplanesand traveling a good bit to go
not just to conferences butthese educational events and
showing up on FaceTime for thesepatients and being guests on
other talk shows or podcasts totalk about this device and how
it's changed my life, hostingwebinars to answer questions for
not only patients butprosthetists and physical

(01:09:28):
therapists and possibly surgeonsas well.
So it was kind of a springboardinto oh okay, what I'm doing
actually does still matter andit's something that I'm kind of
good at because I have a degreein communication studies.
So I had all this practicespeaking in front of people.
So that's not even a thing I'mused to it.
So I think that helped boost myconfidence even more and make

(01:09:51):
me realize that I do stillmatter and there's lots of
things that I can do in thisworld.
And once I got comfortable withthat, I actually did start
seriously pursuing dating againbecause I thought, okay, if I'm
comfortable doing this, then I'mgood enough to get out of the
house and do things again, andmaybe somebody else will

(01:10:11):
appreciate what I'm doing aswell and kind of get along with
it.
So I did start exploring datingagain.
It wasn't really the best thingor the most fun thing Initially
.
I had a friend who convinced meto join a dating app in
February of last year and I'mnot going to say which one.
It wasn't always great either.

(01:10:33):
There were plenty of weirdos onthere and plenty of people who
were already married and justlooking for other things, and it
just seemed kind of toxic.
So by June of last year I waslike, let me clear up some space
on my phone, let me go throughand delete some apps, see what I
can get rid of.
And I was going in to delete myprofile and I had an inbox

(01:10:55):
message from this one guy and Idecided to answer it and see
what happened.
And we had our first date thefollowing weekend.
That was July 6th.
We hit it off and I'm stilldating that guy to this day.
I'm actually in his house,right now in Tuscaloosa, Alabama
.
I just met his entire familyover the weekend.

(01:11:17):
I had met a few of his siblingsand his nieces and nephew, but,
yeah, fully, fully immersed inthe family last weekend and it's
been a beautiful thing torealize that I can expand my
heart a little bit.
One thing that I was afraid ofwith dating is how am I ever
going to feel those same thingsagain?

(01:11:40):
And what I've learned is I'mnot going to feel those same
things, but I can.
I can hold onto those thingsthat I felt and I can keep those
safe somewhere and I can feelnew things and I can find new
joy in experiences with someoneelse.
And it takes having the rightperson to understand that that
part of my life still matters tome and always will, and there

(01:12:03):
are pieces of my heart that willalways belong to Joe, but
everything that I have left I'mstill willing to share with
someone else, and I think that'ssomething that Sachin
understands somehow or other.
I don't know how he understandsthat or how he gets that, but he
seems to get me and he hebalances me out.
He also works in the medicalprofession, so he he's not an

(01:12:27):
orthopedic surgeon, he's anOBGYN.
So he doesn't understandnecessarily all of the
orthopedic things that I'm goingwith, but he's really enjoyed
learning about it and havingsomeone who can have medical
discussions with him, who kindof understands the things that
he's talking about day to day.
So it's been really fun toexplore and I feel very

(01:12:50):
fortunate that he sent me thatmessage and I didn't delete that
app before I got that messagefrom him.
So lots of happiness here.

He sounds like a remarkable man and, as an
OBGYN, his entire medical careeris focused on the giving of
life right and bringing lifeinto the world, and that also
comes with that career.
Specifically and I know thisfirsthand I lost a baby late

(01:13:21):
term in a pregnancy and it wasmy OBGYN who I met that day, who
my nurse midwife brought in,who sat at my bedside and held
my hand and cried with me, thatallowed me to grieve through
that process, and so I imaginethat through his experiences in

(01:13:45):
bringing life into the world andalso helping people navigate
the loss that can sometimes orwill sometimes come with that
hope of bringing life into theworld, I'm sure he has a lot of
empathy.
That's been really beautiful forthe two of you to navigate
together.

Gini (01:14:02):
He really does and he has so much patience with me.
And when anniversaries ofthings with Joe come up, I'm
open with him, like look, Imight be in a bad mood this day,
I might be grumpy this day, Imight burst into tears at the
smallest thing on this day, andhe's right there and so patient.
Whatever you need, if you needme to back away and leave you
alone, that's fine.

(01:14:23):
If you need me to bring youchocolates and coffee and cake
and you don't want to get out of, bed, that's fine too.

I'll bring you whatever you want in bed.

Gini (01:14:29):
So he's very understanding and accommodating and he drove
me for my last surgery and putup with me through that recovery
process, which I know is noteasy.
I'm a good patient but also abad patient at the same time.
It's hard to make me sit still.
So he had that task, which wasnot an easy one, but he handles

(01:14:50):
it all no problem and I'm sofortunate that I found him.

That's a beautiful blessing outside of
your relationship.
What are some of the otherthings that bring you joy?
And I also know that you'revery physically active.

Gini (01:15:04):
I am.
So one thing that I've beenable to find a love for with
this Osseo integration journeyis working out at Hotworx, and
everything I do there is in a130 degree infrared sauna, which
means I sweat buckets everytime I work out.
And if I was still trying touse a traditional socket
prosthesis, there's no way Icould do it, because with so

(01:15:27):
much sweat inside that liner andsocket my leg would just fall
right off immediately, likewithin five minutes of starting
a workout.
So, having that confidence andsecurity in my device now and
knowing that it's there, it'snot going anywhere, I can just
get in the gym and crank thingsout without even thinking about
my leg.
So that's been really fun.
It helps relieve all kinds ofthings.

(01:15:49):
The infrared is good for somany things.
Exercise is good for so manythings.
My dogs bring me a lot of joy.
I had a dog throughout my entirerecovery that I had gotten with
Joe.
His name was Scooter, we calledhim the Scootopotamus, and that
dog was with me through all 23out of 24 surgeries.

(01:16:10):
He was an old man and he tookcare of me so well after all my
surgeries.
He was always so patient andgentle with me and I finally had
to let him go in July of lastyear, which was a really tough
thing to do because he was kindof my last living piece of
connection to Joe and he'd beenkind of part of my support

(01:16:31):
system throughout all thesurgeries and grief and
everything else along the way,and now have come to love, such
as dog Luna, and we havetogether gotten a Yorkie named
Milo, and Milo has really becomemy dog.
He steals my heating pad fromme.
He will sometimes allow me toshare it with him, but he's,

(01:16:53):
he's been my little recovery dogduring this last recovery after
surgery 24.
And the dogs just make me happy.
Anything I can do with themmakes me happy.

I love it when you at dinner last week called
him your Yorkshire terrorist.
I absolutely is.

Gini (01:17:13):
He absolutely is.
I actually picked both dogs upfrom boarding this morning and
he has lived up to his name eversince then.
I've already had to give him abath since being home from
boarding, but you know what,those snuggles tonight that he's
going to give me in bed aregoing to be all worth it, so
I'll be forgiven.

A hundred percent, and he knows it.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
I love that.
Jenny, one of the things wealways explore here on The P-I-G
is legacy Not just what weleave behind, but how we live
right now.
What do you think yourhusband's legacy is, and what

(01:17:51):
legacy do you hope to createwith the life you've rebuilt?

Gini (01:18:03):
Joe was a musician, like I mentioned, and he always wanted
to foster young artists andhelp them improving their career
or, you know, giving them anopportunity to play their own
music, not just be a coverartist.
And he actually started asongwriter's night while he was
still alive.
It was called a guitar pull andI think the idea behind that is
in older times, people would besitting around singing their

(01:18:25):
songs and some guy would say, ohyeah, well, I've got this song,
and he would pull the guitar tohim and play his song.
And then the next person wouldsay, yeah, well, I've got this
song, and they would pull theguitar over to them.
So that was the guitar pull.
Our wreck happened a few monthsafter that event started and it
now has Joe's name.
They've named it for him.
It still goes on in Montgomery,Alabama at the Cloverdale

(01:18:48):
Playhouse.
It's the Joe Thomas Jr GuitarPull and I think that's a big
part of his legacy.
So this event gives localartists an opportunity to play
their music to an audience thatis there to see them.
They're not going to a bar andthere just happens to be someone
playing music and it'sbackground noise.
People are actually going tosee them.

(01:19:09):
So I think that's a big part ofJoe's legacy and I do try to
support that event when I'm inMontgomery I haven't been to the
last few because life's beencrazy but supporting that any
way I can and then, also findingother local artists wherever I
am and supporting them as well.
So big fan of finding new musicand doing whatever I can to

(01:19:33):
encourage them, and if thatmeans kicking a few dollars
towards them, if that meansshowing up to a gig, I'm always
happy to do that because I feellike that's something that Joe
would have done and I feel likethat helps his legacy and his
memory live on.
If there's still good musichappening, I think Joe's happy.

That is really beautiful.
Thank you for that.
And what about for you?
Oh?

Gini (01:19:58):
My legacy?
I don't know.
I try to do whatever I can tohelp somebody along the way.
I do think it's important thatpeople see other people that
look like them.
I try my best to be a goodexample in the amputee community
.
Sometimes I fail and I getirritated with people who make
inappropriate comments, but Itry my best to be a positive

(01:20:22):
role model in that community andI hope that people have been
able to learn from me.
I hope that people have beenable to see that it's okay to
share your story.
It's okay to be proud of whoyou are.
Whether you're missing a limbor not.
If you're missing all 10fingers or if you've got all 10
fingers, it's okay to beconfident in who you are and to

(01:20:45):
share your story.
If it helps just one person,it's worth it.
I hope that I encourage othersto be open with their stories as
well.
It's not an easy thing to doand I understand if somebody
does not want to share theirstory, but I've gained
confidence in seeing what otherpeople are doing With someone
else sharing.
That's given me a boost to say,okay, it's all right for me to

(01:21:08):
share my story then, and maybethat helps somebody else along
the way, so hopefully I'mhelping people be more
comfortable with themselves,whether that's their body or
their mentality, in somethingmoving forward, I hope that
lives on.

I think it's so beautiful, Gini, how you have
turned your life, yourexperiences of loss, the love
you have for Joe and the loveyou have clearly for life and
for your new relationship andfor your family and your friends
and I know you feel love forthe people that you're
supporting into your livinglegacy.

(01:21:46):
Is there anything thatsurprised you in this whole
journey?

Gini (01:21:51):
I think I really have been surprised at how differently
people grieve.
I mean, when you see grief onTV, it's always the same way.
Once it happens and you'refaced with those emotions
yourself and the way I'mhandling it is going to be
totally different from the waymy sister-in-law is handling it,
the way my dad is handling it,the way my little brother is

(01:22:12):
handling it and all of thoseways are perfectly okay.
There is no right or wrong wayto grieve, and that's definitely
something that I never thoughtof before and I've had to kind
of learn and accept along theway as well.

We talk a lot here about grief not being
linear.
And it's so different for everysingle person.
In fact, erin and I spend a lotof time talking about that as
our relationship has grown asmature adult women and realizing
how differently we have grieveddifferent losses throughout our
living, and coming to therealization and the point of not

(01:22:52):
putting our own grief ontosomebody else.
Right, that's so hard.

Gini (01:22:58):
It is hard, so hard to do.
There are definitely timeswhere I haven't even realized
that it was grief, putting me ina certain mood and then seeing
the way that I've talked toother people while I'm in that
mood and then stepping back andgoing whoa, I got to apologize.

That wasn't cool at all that's one of the
things we're actually trying tobring to the forefront is how
important it is to, with clarityand authenticity, be able to
feel like you have a safe spaceand a safe environment to
articulate these feelings andemotions that sometimes we don't
even understand as grief untilwe're on the other side of it

(01:23:39):
looking back with hindsight.

Gini (01:23:41):
Right, it's funny you talk about putting that grief onto
someone else.
That's another thing that I wasreally bad about early on, like
when I started thinking maybeI'll go on a couple of dates.
I was always looking for Joeand someone else, and that's so
not fair of me to do to anyonethat I'm going on a date with,
and when I realized that I wasdoing that, I just backed away

(01:24:03):
from it completely, like okay,jenny, clearly you're not ready
for this, if that's what you'relooking for, because you're
never going to find it.
So let's put that on pause fora little while, because it's
crazy, the things you do thatyou don't even realize.

What beautiful emotional intelligence that you
had developed through thatprocess to be able to recognize
that.
But isn't that what life andmaturity

Gini (01:24:26):
do to us?
Right.

Yeah, that's what that time takes.
Before we wrap up and we are sograteful for this conversation
today we want to ask you aquestion that we pose to all of
our guests, which is, "what'syour PIG?
And you and I talked a littlebit, but when you reflect on
what life, love, loss and legacymean to you personally, our PIG

(01:24:52):
right, our kind of guidingforce on this podcast, is
purpose, intention and gratitude, and it was so fun to hear all
of the ways that you even woveour PIG into so much of what you
shared.
But today, what's your PIG?

Gini (01:25:12):
I'm going to say patience and I'm going to steal gratitude
just because those are thingsthat I always thought that I had
a lot of and I learned early onthat I really didn't, and I had
to kind of shift my focus onthings and think about where I
want to be and how to get thereand then looking at what's

(01:25:33):
helped me get to these pointsand being grateful for those
things along the way, I thinkyou have to have patience in
order to truly find gratitude,because you don't always find
gratitude immediately.
You have to be patient enoughto sit back and see the bigger
picture, to truly understand allthe things that you should be

(01:25:55):
grateful for.

I completely agree with that.
I think that's so beautiful.
What about your I word?
Or it could be Patience InGratitude.
Oh, that's a good one.
That's really good.

Gini (01:26:10):
That's good, yeah, you win .
I love it.

I love it.
T hat's so beautiful and Ithink that that resonates with
me.
That makes a lot of sense to me, everything that you said in
the patience that it does taketo get to that place where you
can recognize gratitude andcapture it for what it really is
and feel every ounce of that.

Gini (01:26:38):
Right, right, it takes a lot of patience.
For sure, for sure.

Gini, in closing, is there anything else
that you would like to sharewith our listeners or any
closing thoughts that you wouldlike to impart on anybody who's
traveling this journey, or anyjourney of life love, loss and
legacy?

Gini (01:27:00):
Well, one thing I do want to do again, since it's Limn
Loss and Limb DifferenceAwareness Month.
There is a foundation, actuallybased in Colorado.
It's called the LimbPreservation Foundation and they
are hosting a symposium at theend of April.
It's called the Hope BeyondLimits Symposium, and it's

(01:27:21):
really a day where they have,they try to center it mostly
around patients, patients whomight be struggling with limb
salvage, or patients facing anamputation, or patients who have
already had an amputation,facing an amputation or patients
who have already had anamputation.
It's a place to gather and learnmore about the field, learn
more about options, learn aboutnew surgical techniques, meet

(01:27:42):
other people who might be in asimilar situation.
Maybe you can learn from theirexperiences.
There are panel discussions.
There are vendors there,physical therapists, different
prosthetic vendors, theopportunity to maybe try
different devices out.
It's just a really, really goodevent that I think, helps a lot

(01:28:03):
of people learn about theprocess.
So I do encourage people to lookup the Limb Preservation
Foundation.
One thing that they do is helppatients going through all of
these surgeries.
They can help provide financialassistance to cover bills
during the recovery time.
They can provide little carepackages to patients.
They can get you connected to anetwork of other doctors.

(01:28:24):
You're not happy with onedoctor.
They might know someone elsethat you can get in touch with.
So they're doing reallyimportant work.
It's a smaller foundation.
I'm hoping to see it grow overthe years.
So I'll be at that event.
That's in Golden, Colorado onApril the 25th.
Look up Limb PreservationFoundation.
If you want to know more aboutit or you know, reach out to me.

(01:28:45):
If anybody wants to reach outto me.
I'm happy to talk at any time.
And another thing in closing Ijust want to say I'm thankful
that you ladies have thispodcast.
I think it's really importantwork.
I think more people need toknow how to deal with grief.
More people need to know thatit's okay to grieve openly, it's
okay to grieve in quiet.
However you grieve is right foryou.

(01:29:07):
So I think, with y'allhighlighting the different
stories of people going throughsimilar things, I think it will
help people see that thathowever you grieve is okay.
So thank you for the work thatyou're doing.
It really is important.

Thank you so much for that, Gini.
We appreciate you, and today'sconversation reminded us just
how strong the human spiritreally is.
You are a remarkable humanbeing.
Thank you for sharing yourstory with us and with our
listeners.
Thank you For anyone listeningwho has experienced a

(01:29:46):
life-altering loss, whether it'sthe loss of a loved one, a
relationship or even part ofyourself, Gini is living proof
that healing is possible.
Support matters and legacy istruly reflective of how we show
up and live right now.
And, as Gini stated stated,April is Limb Loss and Limb
Difference Awareness Month, atime to raise awareness and

(01:30:07):
honor the strength of those whohave experienced limb loss or
are living with limb differences.
This month and every month, werecognize the incredible
resilience, challenges andtriumphs of those who walk this
path, including our very specialguest today.
If today's episode moved you,we invite you to share it with

(01:30:28):
someone who may need to hearGini's story.
We wouldn't be here withoutyour support.
Please leave a review, send usyour feedback and connect with
us on social to keep theconversation going.
You can learn more and findlinks to access all episodes and
join our communities at thePIGpodcast.
com and, if you have a storythat needs to be told on The

(01:30:48):
P-I-G or know someone who doesreach out?
We'd love to hear from youUntil next time.
Hogs and kisses everyone!

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