May 22, 2025 • 21 mins
Financial surrender might be the most overlooked aspect of Christian discipleship, yet it's often where we struggle most to release control. Author Heather M. Day joins us to unpack how true peace requires giving our finances completely to God.
Connect with Heather --> heatherday.net
"Money and Spirit: Surrendering Our Finances to the Work of the Holy Spirit" --> heatherday.net/book
About:
Despite growing up in church and understanding tithing, Heather admits that fully surrendering finances to God's direction wasn't something she'd considered until experiencing its transformative power personally. Her book "Money and Spirit: Surrendering Our Finances to the Work of the Holy Spirit" wasn't born from financial expertise but from obedience to God's surprising prompting. Through powerful storytelling, Heather explores how each fruit of the Spirit manifests in our financial lives, offering a unique perspective beyond typical money management advice.
When we feel financially hopeless, Heather emphasizes two critical truths: God never intended us to handle money alone, and community plays an essential role in financial health. By examining our spending patterns, we often discover deeper heart issues—are we buying to project an image? Hoarding from fear? Hiding purchases from loved ones? These behaviors reveal areas where surrender is needed most.
For those with reluctant spouses, Heather shares her own journey. Rather than nagging her husband into tithing, she focused on her own obedience while praying for his heart to change—eventually witnessing his dramatic transformation as God worked. This principle applies broadly: do what you can, surrender what you can't control, and listen carefully to understand perspectives different from your own.
Ready to experience peace in your finances? Start by acknowledging God's ownership of everything, examine your spending motivations, and invite trusted community into your journey. Connect with Heather at heatherday.net and find her book wherever books are sold.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Peaceful Mompignor.
We're so glad that you're here.
So, finding true peacewholeheartedly oh see, I did
mess up.
I am going to regret this.
I'm going to cut the beginningout.
I will fix the beginning if Ireally ruin it.
Here we go.
Welcome to the PeacefulMompignor.
(00:21):
Finding true peace in JesusChrist means wholeheartedly
surrendering and, my friend,that also includes our finances.
I know most people don't talkabout it, but that is the truth.
My guest today, heather M Day,is the author and ministry
leader with more than 20 yearsof experience in the fields of
marketing, communications andnonprofit ministry, and she is
(00:44):
the director for marketing forBarnabas Foundation, where she
provides a marketing consultantand supports for more than 200
Christian ministries.
She is the author of Money andSpirit Surrendering Our Finances
to the Work of the Holy Spirit.
So it sounds like she knowswhat she's talking about, so we
should listen to her.
Heather, thank you so much forbeing here with us.
(01:05):
Thank you, I'm so glad to behere.
Absolutely, so when we talkabout being wholly surrendered,
rarely do we talk about money.
That's not something that comesup in Christian circles, unless
you're literally a financeperson, right, right?
So tell us why it is soimportant for us to surrender
our finances.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, I, honestly, like I said, not made a
conversation for me in my life.
I grew up in a church, I grewup I'm a pastor's kid, and so we
had talked about tithing from ayoung age and so that came
natural to me, that wassomething we'd talked about, but
every lesson I had you know,going back to children's church,
youth group, into college,every lesson when we talked
(01:47):
about surrendering, it was likeI will surrender my career to
the Lord or I'll surrender myfamily to the Lord.
I'll found, and in my, in mymarriage, money has such a hold
on us and can have such a gripon, on who we are, and we just
(02:10):
came to this moment, my husbandand I, where we just truly fully
surrendered it over to God.
We want you to guide how weview and manage our money, and
it's made all the difference.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
That's amazing, yeah, so what made you write a whole
book about it?
Like, that's that's going from.
Like, okay, yeah, I'llsurrender this to like, let me
write all about it, thoughthat's a.
There's a big gap there, sowe're missing some context.
So what happened?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah, well, I will give the short answer is God
Good answer?
Good answer.
The long and the longer answeris in my organization, we had
(02:57):
received a grant to um toproduce a resource to help.
Good answer, good answer.
And um, we just my boss hadthis moment where he just
stopped and he said, god, thisis your money, this is your
resources, this is your grant.
We want to do what you want usto do, um, so give us the ideas
that we need.
And and truly came out of thatconversation that this idea
began to form for a resource tohelp people in local churches
(03:21):
who are just feeling, um, underthe bondage of their finances
and feeling like there's no hope.
And that story resonated withme in particular, because I have
been there many times, you know, where I've just felt like
there was no hope for mysituation.
And yet, when my husband and Isurrendered it to God, we began
(03:44):
to see how he brought the peopleand systems and resources into
our life to try to start to turnthings around.
So, yeah, I got into this bookproject and, to be honest, the
imposter syndrome was hitting mehardcore, because I am not a
finance expert and I'm like, whoam I to tell this, but I just
(04:05):
felt it deeply in my soul ofyeah, but I ask you to do it,
and so, yeah, so that's how itcame about.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
That's great.
I love that and I love that.
You are you know, you're awarelike this is not my thing, but
like God told me to do it, andso I feel like we talk about
that a lot Like we aren'tnecessarily the best equipped
for whatever God told us to do,but like he said to do it.
So obedience is so much morethan being prepared, because
(04:34):
along the way, you know, likejust do the things he says to do
.
That's beautiful.
I love that story.
So you talked about hope andlike how you felt like you
didn't have this hope.
So how do we find that in ourfinances if we feel like we're
struggling?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, I think a lot of times we just we get down
into this dark place where wefeel like we've got to figure it
out on our own and we see noanswers.
And we see we're just so deeplylooking at our own circumstances
that we can't see beyond itdeeply looking at our own
circumstances, that we can't seebeyond it.
And what I have found is thatand I truly believe in my heart
(05:09):
is that God never designed us todo on our own.
First of all, he wants to beinvolved and wants to walk us
hand in hand and walk us throughour circumstances and be our
guide and be our provider andour source of strength and a
source of peace.
Guide and be our provider andour source of strength and a
source of peace.
And also he has put us incommunity.
(05:29):
So I found that a big piece ofit was not only opening up to
God how do you want to work inmy life and what do you want to
do but also being open to thepeople that he put in my life
and being transparent with themso they could help me along the
way as well.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
That's beautiful.
I love that.
So what would you say if youwere talking to a mom?
She's got young kids, she'strying to start a business,
she's, you know, doing thethings and she is in this place.
What would her first step be?
To really move forward and be,you know, feel like she has this
peace with the Lord?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, I think it starts by admitting it and
asking for his intervention.
I have, like I said, I havebeen there.
I've been there today, letalone many times in my life
where I just get so caught up inmy circumstances and I'm trying
to fix it on my own, I'm tryingto figure out how to handle
this and that with my kids andhow to handle this and that with
(06:23):
my work, and it kind of justslaps me across the face.
Have you even talked to Godabout it?
And so I would say stop, praylike, truly like, dwell in that
moment of God.
This is your day, this is yourbusiness, this is your family.
How do you want to be involvedand then and then wait on him,
(06:44):
be ready and expecting that hewants to work?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I like that.
I think too often we think that, you know, praying isn't doing
anything, but honestly, it's thebest thing that you can do.
Um, just stopping.
He's got the whole world right,like that song.
He's got the whole world in hishands, which is literal, and so
if he's got that like he caresabout whatever it is that you're
doing and whatever your problemis at that moment, so that's
(07:08):
beautiful.
I love that Very good advice.
So can you tell us a little bitmore about your book?
Like so what exactly?
Like?
If I picked it up, what am Igetting out of your?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
book.
So the book is very story-based.
I tell about my own journey,but I also talk to several
people who have had their ownstruggles with finances and for
some it can be debt, but also itcan be fear, it can be greed,
it can be all these sorts ofthings and it's stories and an
invitation to what does it looklike when we ask the Holy Spirit
(07:43):
to be involved and how does thefruit of the Spirit show up in
our finances.
So every chapter walks througha fruit of the Spirit.
So, for example, what does itlook like from the very top?
What does it look like toexperience the fruit of love in
our finances, to reallyunderstand how much we are
deeply loved by the Father andhow that transforms our sense of
(08:03):
self-worth and what it means tofeel worthy even without, in
spite of our belongings, andalso to live open handed and
show that same love to others.
What does it look like to forthe fruit of peace to be in our
life?
What does it look like to havejoy in our life?
So each chapter is a deepexploration of the fruit of the
Spirit, but then also it hasprayers and invitations to just
(08:28):
allow the Holy Spirit to speakto you and guide you when does?
Where does he want to speak toyou in your situation?
The other thing about the bookis that, like I said, I feel
like I know that God did notcreate us to do this on our own.
So every copy of the book alsoincludes a discussion guide at
the end, which is a reallyhelpful tool to start the
conversation, whether it's withyour spouse or with a small
(08:51):
group or a book club.
You know, these are things thatdon't come naturally for us to
talk about, so this helpsprovide that prompt to get into
that space of authenticity andsupport.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
That's wonderful, thank you.
So you talked about community acouple of times.
Can you just dive a little bitdeeper into how community
actually helps you give yourfinances to the Lord?
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, I can say a few different ways, you know.
So after I wrote this book, mypastor asked me if I'd be
willing to lead a small group onit and that seemed, I don't
know.
I kind of like I've kind of puton my hands of defense, you
know, against that, I don't know.
I kind of put on my hands ofdefense against that because I
thought I don't want to seemself-promoting For whatever
(09:41):
reason.
I was early on resistant to it.
But he said you know who betterto talk about it than the
person who?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
wrote it, he's not wrong.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
He's not wrong, but it was funny because I asked him
.
I said, well, I'm going to dothis.
Funny because I asked him.
I said, well, I'm going to dothis, but I want my husband to
do this along with me.
So as we're doing this, leavingthis Bible study, we literally
my daughter is graduatingtomorrow night from high school,
and so we have a new set ofchallenges financially of her
(10:06):
going to college and all thesesorts of things, and we're
literally on our way to leadthis group.
And my husband is saying how canwe possibly lead a group when
we haven't got it all figuredout?
And yet that's what a group isall about is admitting I don't
(10:26):
have all the answers, and thisis what I'm struggling with, and
I think when we are honestabout that and open to that, we
can encourage others to behonest and we can also learn
from one another.
So in that group we have, we'vehad practical advice that we've
received and given, but alsojust encouragement for our
journey, people who are able tosay you know, I've been there
(10:48):
too and here's what I found,here's how, here's how God
helped me through my situation,and all of a sudden, something
that feels like I'm all alone,and I'm the weirdo who doesn't
have this figured out.
All of a sudden, we realizedthat we all have common
experiences, that we need theencouragement of one another.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
That is amazing.
Yeah, it's beautiful how theLord brings all these people
together and you feel soisolated, which is one of the
tactics of the enemy when youdon't live in community, right.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
So if you're willing to step out and be that
vulnerable person, then youcreate a safe place for other
people to also be there, andwhat you've done is created a
culture of accountability, andso now you're all going together
right?
The rising tide raises allboats, or whatever that saying
is, so that's super, superfabulous.
(11:40):
I love that.
So, for those who might beoverwhelmed or ashamed or unsure
about their financial situation, what is a small, impactful
step that can take to startbeing aligned aligning their
finances with their values?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, I would again.
I would start with surrenderand asking God to examine your
heart, but also start looking atthe expenditures that you're
making and asking why am I doingthat so?
Is it because I feel like I'mnot enough and I want to
surround myself?
I want to portray an image ofhaving it all together.
(12:17):
Is it because I want to show mylove to my children, so I'm
spending on them when what theyreally want is my time?
Start looking at where yourmoney is going and you can start
to see where your heart is aswell.
Am I hoarding because I want tofeel safe?
Um, and I want to make surethat I'm never caught off guard
and that I have enough Um.
(12:37):
Again, if, if we are relying onum, on safety and security and
peace and our worth because ofour things, we've missed the
boat, because God, the creatorof those things, is the true
source of, of, of stability andcomfort and joy.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
That's perfect.
Yes, he is absolutely ourfoundation and everything else
is just extra.
You gave a couple of them, butcan you give some more questions
like prompts that people canask themselves when they're
thinking like is does this havea hold on me?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
can ask themselves when they're thinking like is
does this have a hold on me?
Another question that you canask yourself is am am I tempted
to hide my behaviors?
Am I, am I not?
Am I doing things in the darkbecause I'm afraid that other
people might see?
Um, whether it's a human, myspouse or or my friends like, am
I doing this in private?
(13:32):
When we are drawn to secrecy,it's usually an indication of a
problem.
So if I'm trying to hide theexpenses of what I did at the
store, there's probably meansthat I'm spending in excess of
what I'm willing to admit.
So that's a question that youcan have.
You can also look at has moneybecome a source of tension in my
(13:53):
relationship, again, with mykids or my family or with my
spouse?
Is money a topic that we'rearguing about or that I feel
resentful about?
Again, that's an indicationthere's a problem.
So it's an opportunity toexamine.
Why do I feel this way when wetalk about this?
(14:16):
One of the biggest wins for usas a couple was in that
surrender was coming to a placewhere we're saying we're on the
same team.
We're not going to hide thingsfrom one another.
We're going to seek God's willtogether from one another.
We're going to seek God's willtogether and, um, and it helped
in the, in the spending, ithelped us to understand some of
(14:39):
the issues that were at playthat we needed to address.
Um, I think our money problemsare genuine, generally an
indication of much deeper issuesthat are going on that we need
to address, and it's just weneed to look at where the money
goes.
There's where our heart is andwhere the struggle is.
Yeah, absolutely so.
It's just we need to look atwhere the money goes.
There's where our heart is andwhere the struggle is.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Let's say that there is a womanlistening who is on board and
wants to do this, but she can'tseem to get her spouse to also
be on board.
What advice would you give herand how can she start doing it
on her own?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
But even though they're a team, start doing it
on our own, but even thoughthey're a team, you know, oh
yeah, oh yeah, there have beenokay.
So I will give you a practicalexample.
So I told you that I grew up ina church and tithing was a
behavior that I just did.
From the very beginning, myhusband had the complete opta
upbringing.
So I he did not understandtithing, did not.
(15:31):
Uh, when, when I first broughtit up, it was this like you want
me to do what?
Like we can barely scrape by Um.
And so I resolved at that timein our early marriage that I was
just going to continue to prayabout it and surrender it to the
Lord and let God work on hisheart about that.
Um, because, um, because thatwas not my battle to fight.
(15:52):
I was going to be faithful inthe things that that God was
calling me to do and pray forthe things that were out of my
control.
So, over time, one of the firstthings that happened after we
had this moment of surrender wasGod.
God really began to work onRobert's heart and he felt this
realization that it starts here.
We're going to start giving toGod first and then, if we have
(16:12):
to cut back in other areas wewill, and that's nothing that I
could have nagged him into,that's nothing that I could have
convinced him into.
It was a faith building momentfor him, and he points back to
that as a major decision thatchanged everything, because he
realized that he had to put hismoney where his mouth is, you
know, like he had to.
(16:33):
If I trust, if I truly trustGod, it starts with my finances,
and he counts that as a momentthat really transformed not only
our finances but his life aswell, because he saw God's
provision over and over again.
So, long story short, do whatyou can with what God is calling
you to do, and surrender andpray about the rest.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
That's perfect.
I like that.
We talk a lot about radicalsurrender and radical oh, I
forgot the other one.
I say it all the time and Ican't even remember radical
surrender and radical obedience.
Man, I don't know doing whatyou what you said, right.
Do what you can do and lettinggo of the things that are not
your responsibility.
I should have my own sayingdone well better, but that's
(17:18):
fine, um, out of bingo Anywho.
So I really love that that.
That is very practical advice,like let go of what you can't
handle.
You are not in control of yourspouse.
Um, it's just not possible andhonestly, you don't want that,
even if you think you do.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Sometimes you know no , and also I, if I could just
say like I would also listen andtry to understand.
You know, like I think a lot oftimes, like I'm we have in our
heads what God is wanting us todo and we're like, well, maybe
I'm just speaking for myself, Ijust like I'm a bull in a China
shop.
I'm going to convince him untilI wear him down when in reality
(17:54):
he makes good points and he hasinsight that God has given to
him.
And sometimes I'm so caught upin getting my own message and
way through that I miss out onwhat God wants to reveal to me
through the wisdom of my husband.
So not only pray about what'snot in your control, but seek to
listen Like what is it that Ineed to learn in a situation and
(18:16):
what can I learn from him?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
That is very good advice.
I love that so much.
That's great, um, okay, so um,before we start wrapping it up
and we tell everybody where wecan find you, is there anything
else that you want to share thatI didn't ask you about?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Um, I would just say, uh, I, you know this is kind of
a going down a different road,but this is what I was reminded
again today and I think itspeaks to your audience in
particular, like it's justcontinuing to remember your why
and God's calling on your lifeand what he's asking you to do.
And just like we kind of talkedabout at the very beginning, as
I wrote this and as I've dealtwith different circumstances, I
(18:55):
felt I've dealt with thatimposter syndrome or why me, God
?
Why are you asking me to dothis?
And I would just remind youthat that whatever God is asking
you to do, he will.
He will provide the way.
He's not surprised by yourinadequacies, he's not surprised
by your quiracies, he's notsurprised by your quirks.
He knows exactly who you areand if he's asked you to do
(19:16):
something, be faithful, trustingthat the guy that he sees all
and knows all and will make itpossible.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
That is lovely.
I love that so much.
Thank you, thank you.
Okay, so where can we find you?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yeah, the best way to find me is through my website,
heatherdaynet.
So that's heatherdaynet, and onthere you can find all my
socials.
I'd love you.
I'd love to connect.
I'm old school, I'm not astrendy as everybody else, so if
you're going to connect with me,probably Facebook is the place
to do it.
But you could find all thatinformation on my website, and I
keep a blog there.
Um would love to love tointeract with you and hear from
(19:51):
you.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Wonderful.
Okay, and so tell us where wecan find your book as well.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah, the book is available wherever your favorite
books are sold, so you can findit on Amazon, Barnes and Noble
Walmart.
Wherever you like to shop forbooks, you can find it there.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Wonderful, that's really easy.
Is it on your website as well?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
There's information on there that'll take you to a
direct link.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Wonderful, okay, and so I will link those in the
description of this so everybodycan get a hold of you.
That is amazing, all right,well, thank you so much for
being with us, heather.
Oh, it's been a real pleasure.
Thank you, absolutely,absolutely.
Bye guys.
Welcome to the Peaceful Mompignor.
We're so glad that you're here.
So, finding true peacewholeheartedly oh see, I did
mess up.
I am going to regret this.
I'm going to cut the beginningout.
I will fix the beginning if Ireally ruin it.
Here we go.
Welcome to the PeacefulMompignor.
(00:21):
Finding true peace in JesusChrist means wholeheartedly
surrendering and, my friend,that also includes our finances.
I know most people don't talkabout it, but that is the truth.
My guest today, heather M Day,is the author and ministry
leader with more than 20 yearsof experience in the fields of
marketing, communications andnonprofit ministry, and she is
(00:44):
the director for marketing forBarnabas Foundation, where she
provides a marketing consultantand supports for more than 200
Christian ministries.
She is the author of Money andSpirit Surrendering Our Finances
to the Work of the Holy Spirit.
So it sounds like she knowswhat she's talking about, so we
should listen to her.
Heather, thank you so much forbeing here with us.
(01:05):
Thank you, I'm so glad to behere.
Absolutely, so when we talkabout being wholly surrendered,
rarely do we talk about money.
That's not something that comesup in Christian circles, unless
you're literally a financeperson, right, right?
So tell us why it is soimportant for us to surrender
our finances.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, I, honestly, like I said, not made a
conversation for me in my life.
I grew up in a church, I grewup I'm a pastor's kid, and so we
had talked about tithing from ayoung age and so that came
natural to me, that wassomething we'd talked about, but
every lesson I had you know,going back to children's church,
youth group, into college,every lesson when we talked
(01:47):
about surrendering, it was likeI will surrender my career to
the Lord or I'll surrender myfamily to the Lord.
I'll found, and in my, in mymarriage, money has such a hold
on us and can have such a gripon, on who we are, and we just
(02:10):
came to this moment, my husbandand I, where we just truly fully
surrendered it over to God.
We want you to guide how weview and manage our money, and
it's made all the difference.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
That's amazing, yeah, so what made you write a whole
book about it?
Like, that's that's going from.
Like, okay, yeah, I'llsurrender this to like, let me
write all about it, thoughthat's a.
There's a big gap there, sowe're missing some context.
So what happened?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah, well, I will give the short answer is God
Good answer?
Good answer.
The long and the longer answeris in my organization, we had
(02:57):
received a grant to um toproduce a resource to help.
Good answer, good answer.
And um, we just my boss hadthis moment where he just
stopped and he said, god, thisis your money, this is your
resources, this is your grant.
We want to do what you want usto do, um, so give us the ideas
that we need.
And and truly came out of thatconversation that this idea
began to form for a resource tohelp people in local churches
(03:21):
who are just feeling, um, underthe bondage of their finances
and feeling like there's no hope.
And that story resonated withme in particular, because I have
been there many times, you know, where I've just felt like
there was no hope for mysituation.
And yet, when my husband and Isurrendered it to God, we began
(03:44):
to see how he brought the peopleand systems and resources into
our life to try to start to turnthings around.
So, yeah, I got into this bookproject and, to be honest, the
imposter syndrome was hitting mehardcore, because I am not a
finance expert and I'm like, whoam I to tell this, but I just
(04:05):
felt it deeply in my soul ofyeah, but I ask you to do it,
and so, yeah, so that's how itcame about.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
That's great.
I love that and I love that.
You are you know, you're awarelike this is not my thing, but
like God told me to do it, andso I feel like we talk about
that a lot Like we aren'tnecessarily the best equipped
for whatever God told us to do,but like he said to do it.
So obedience is so much morethan being prepared, because
(04:34):
along the way, you know, likejust do the things he says to do
.
That's beautiful.
I love that story.
So you talked about hope andlike how you felt like you
didn't have this hope.
So how do we find that in ourfinances if we feel like we're
struggling?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, I think a lot of times we just we get down
into this dark place where wefeel like we've got to figure it
out on our own and we see noanswers.
And we see we're just so deeplylooking at our own circumstances
that we can't see beyond itdeeply looking at our own
circumstances, that we can't seebeyond it.
And what I have found is thatand I truly believe in my heart
(05:09):
is that God never designed us todo on our own.
First of all, he wants to beinvolved and wants to walk us
hand in hand and walk us throughour circumstances and be our
guide and be our provider andour source of strength and a
source of peace.
Guide and be our provider andour source of strength and a
source of peace.
And also he has put us incommunity.
(05:29):
So I found that a big piece ofit was not only opening up to
God how do you want to work inmy life and what do you want to
do but also being open to thepeople that he put in my life
and being transparent with themso they could help me along the
way as well.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
That's beautiful.
I love that.
So what would you say if youwere talking to a mom?
She's got young kids, she'strying to start a business,
she's, you know, doing thethings and she is in this place.
What would her first step be?
To really move forward and be,you know, feel like she has this
peace with the Lord?
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, I think it starts by admitting it and
asking for his intervention.
I have, like I said, I havebeen there.
I've been there today, letalone many times in my life
where I just get so caught up inmy circumstances and I'm trying
to fix it on my own, I'm tryingto figure out how to handle
this and that with my kids andhow to handle this and that with
(06:23):
my work, and it kind of justslaps me across the face.
Have you even talked to Godabout it?
And so I would say stop, praylike, truly like, dwell in that
moment of God.
This is your day, this is yourbusiness, this is your family.
How do you want to be involvedand then and then wait on him,
(06:44):
be ready and expecting that hewants to work?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I like that.
I think too often we think that, you know, praying isn't doing
anything, but honestly, it's thebest thing that you can do.
Um, just stopping.
He's got the whole world right,like that song.
He's got the whole world in hishands, which is literal, and so
if he's got that like he caresabout whatever it is that you're
doing and whatever your problemis at that moment, so that's
(07:08):
beautiful.
I love that Very good advice.
So can you tell us a little bitmore about your book?
Like so what exactly?
Like?
If I picked it up, what am Igetting out of your?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
book.
So the book is very story-based.
I tell about my own journey,but I also talk to several
people who have had their ownstruggles with finances and for
some it can be debt, but also itcan be fear, it can be greed,
it can be all these sorts ofthings and it's stories and an
invitation to what does it looklike when we ask the Holy Spirit
(07:43):
to be involved and how does thefruit of the Spirit show up in
our finances.
So every chapter walks througha fruit of the Spirit.
So, for example, what does itlook like from the very top?
What does it look like toexperience the fruit of love in
our finances, to reallyunderstand how much we are
deeply loved by the Father andhow that transforms our sense of
(08:03):
self-worth and what it means tofeel worthy even without, in
spite of our belongings, andalso to live open handed and
show that same love to others.
What does it look like to forthe fruit of peace to be in our
life?
What does it look like to havejoy in our life?
So each chapter is a deepexploration of the fruit of the
Spirit, but then also it hasprayers and invitations to just
(08:28):
allow the Holy Spirit to speakto you and guide you when does?
Where does he want to speak toyou in your situation?
The other thing about the bookis that, like I said, I feel
like I know that God did notcreate us to do this on our own.
So every copy of the book alsoincludes a discussion guide at
the end, which is a reallyhelpful tool to start the
conversation, whether it's withyour spouse or with a small
(08:51):
group or a book club.
You know, these are things thatdon't come naturally for us to
talk about, so this helpsprovide that prompt to get into
that space of authenticity andsupport.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
That's wonderful, thank you.
So you talked about community acouple of times.
Can you just dive a little bitdeeper into how community
actually helps you give yourfinances to the Lord?
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, I can say a few different ways, you know.
So after I wrote this book, mypastor asked me if I'd be
willing to lead a small group onit and that seemed, I don't
know.
I kind of like I've kind of puton my hands of defense, you
know, against that, I don't know.
I kind of put on my hands ofdefense against that because I
thought I don't want to seemself-promoting For whatever
(09:41):
reason.
I was early on resistant to it.
But he said you know who betterto talk about it than the
person who?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
wrote it, he's not wrong.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
He's not wrong, but it was funny because I asked him
.
I said, well, I'm going to dothis.
Funny because I asked him.
I said, well, I'm going to dothis, but I want my husband to
do this along with me.
So as we're doing this, leavingthis Bible study, we literally
my daughter is graduatingtomorrow night from high school,
and so we have a new set ofchallenges financially of her
(10:06):
going to college and all thesesorts of things, and we're
literally on our way to leadthis group.
And my husband is saying how canwe possibly lead a group when
we haven't got it all figuredout?
And yet that's what a group isall about is admitting I don't
(10:26):
have all the answers, and thisis what I'm struggling with, and
I think when we are honestabout that and open to that, we
can encourage others to behonest and we can also learn
from one another.
So in that group we have, we'vehad practical advice that we've
received and given, but alsojust encouragement for our
journey, people who are able tosay you know, I've been there
(10:48):
too and here's what I found,here's how, here's how God
helped me through my situation,and all of a sudden, something
that feels like I'm all alone,and I'm the weirdo who doesn't
have this figured out.
All of a sudden, we realizedthat we all have common
experiences, that we need theencouragement of one another.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
That is amazing.
Yeah, it's beautiful how theLord brings all these people
together and you feel soisolated, which is one of the
tactics of the enemy when youdon't live in community, right.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
So if you're willing to step out and be that
vulnerable person, then youcreate a safe place for other
people to also be there, andwhat you've done is created a
culture of accountability, andso now you're all going together
right?
The rising tide raises allboats, or whatever that saying
is, so that's super, superfabulous.
(11:40):
I love that.
So, for those who might beoverwhelmed or ashamed or unsure
about their financial situation, what is a small, impactful
step that can take to startbeing aligned aligning their
finances with their values?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, I would again.
I would start with surrenderand asking God to examine your
heart, but also start looking atthe expenditures that you're
making and asking why am I doingthat so?
Is it because I feel like I'mnot enough and I want to
surround myself?
I want to portray an image ofhaving it all together.
(12:17):
Is it because I want to show mylove to my children, so I'm
spending on them when what theyreally want is my time?
Start looking at where yourmoney is going and you can start
to see where your heart is aswell.
Am I hoarding because I want tofeel safe?
Um, and I want to make surethat I'm never caught off guard
and that I have enough Um.
(12:37):
Again, if, if we are relying onum, on safety and security and
peace and our worth because ofour things, we've missed the
boat, because God, the creatorof those things, is the true
source of, of, of stability andcomfort and joy.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
That's perfect.
Yes, he is absolutely ourfoundation and everything else
is just extra.
You gave a couple of them, butcan you give some more questions
like prompts that people canask themselves when they're
thinking like is does this havea hold on me?
Speaker 2 (13:12):
can ask themselves when they're thinking like is
does this have a hold on me?
Another question that you canask yourself is am am I tempted
to hide my behaviors?
Am I, am I not?
Am I doing things in the darkbecause I'm afraid that other
people might see?
Um, whether it's a human, myspouse or or my friends like, am
I doing this in private?
(13:32):
When we are drawn to secrecy,it's usually an indication of a
problem.
So if I'm trying to hide theexpenses of what I did at the
store, there's probably meansthat I'm spending in excess of
what I'm willing to admit.
So that's a question that youcan have.
You can also look at has moneybecome a source of tension in my
(13:53):
relationship, again, with mykids or my family or with my
spouse?
Is money a topic that we'rearguing about or that I feel
resentful about?
Again, that's an indicationthere's a problem.
So it's an opportunity toexamine.
Why do I feel this way when wetalk about this?
(14:16):
One of the biggest wins for usas a couple was in that
surrender was coming to a placewhere we're saying we're on the
same team.
We're not going to hide thingsfrom one another.
We're going to seek God's willtogether from one another.
We're going to seek God's willtogether and, um, and it helped
in the, in the spending, ithelped us to understand some of
(14:39):
the issues that were at playthat we needed to address.
Um, I think our money problemsare genuine, generally an
indication of much deeper issuesthat are going on that we need
to address, and it's just weneed to look at where the money
goes.
There's where our heart is andwhere the struggle is.
Yeah, absolutely so.
It's just we need to look atwhere the money goes.
There's where our heart is andwhere the struggle is.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Let's say that there is a womanlistening who is on board and
wants to do this, but she can'tseem to get her spouse to also
be on board.
What advice would you give herand how can she start doing it
on her own?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
But even though they're a team, start doing it
on our own, but even thoughthey're a team, you know, oh
yeah, oh yeah, there have beenokay.
So I will give you a practicalexample.
So I told you that I grew up ina church and tithing was a
behavior that I just did.
From the very beginning, myhusband had the complete opta
upbringing.
So I he did not understandtithing, did not.
(15:31):
Uh, when, when I first broughtit up, it was this like you want
me to do what?
Like we can barely scrape by Um.
And so I resolved at that timein our early marriage that I was
just going to continue to prayabout it and surrender it to the
Lord and let God work on hisheart about that.
Um, because, um, because thatwas not my battle to fight.
(15:52):
I was going to be faithful inthe things that that God was
calling me to do and pray forthe things that were out of my
control.
So, over time, one of the firstthings that happened after we
had this moment of surrender wasGod.
God really began to work onRobert's heart and he felt this
realization that it starts here.
We're going to start giving toGod first and then, if we have
(16:12):
to cut back in other areas wewill, and that's nothing that I
could have nagged him into,that's nothing that I could have
convinced him into.
It was a faith building momentfor him, and he points back to
that as a major decision thatchanged everything, because he
realized that he had to put hismoney where his mouth is, you
know, like he had to.
(16:33):
If I trust, if I truly trustGod, it starts with my finances,
and he counts that as a momentthat really transformed not only
our finances but his life aswell, because he saw God's
provision over and over again.
So, long story short, do whatyou can with what God is calling
you to do, and surrender andpray about the rest.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
That's perfect.
I like that.
We talk a lot about radicalsurrender and radical oh, I
forgot the other one.
I say it all the time and Ican't even remember radical
surrender and radical obedience.
Man, I don't know doing whatyou what you said, right.
Do what you can do and lettinggo of the things that are not
your responsibility.
I should have my own sayingdone well better, but that's
(17:18):
fine, um, out of bingo Anywho.
So I really love that that.
That is very practical advice,like let go of what you can't
handle.
You are not in control of yourspouse.
Um, it's just not possible andhonestly, you don't want that,
even if you think you do.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Sometimes you know no , and also I, if I could just
say like I would also listen andtry to understand.
You know, like I think a lot oftimes, like I'm we have in our
heads what God is wanting us todo and we're like, well, maybe
I'm just speaking for myself, Ijust like I'm a bull in a China
shop.
I'm going to convince him untilI wear him down when in reality
(17:54):
he makes good points and he hasinsight that God has given to
him.
And sometimes I'm so caught upin getting my own message and
way through that I miss out onwhat God wants to reveal to me
through the wisdom of my husband.
So not only pray about what'snot in your control, but seek to
listen Like what is it that Ineed to learn in a situation and
(18:16):
what can I learn from him?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
That is very good advice.
I love that so much.
That's great, um, okay, so um,before we start wrapping it up
and we tell everybody where wecan find you, is there anything
else that you want to share thatI didn't ask you about?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Um, I would just say, uh, I, you know this is kind of
a going down a different road,but this is what I was reminded
again today and I think itspeaks to your audience in
particular, like it's justcontinuing to remember your why
and God's calling on your lifeand what he's asking you to do.
And just like we kind of talkedabout at the very beginning, as
I wrote this and as I've dealtwith different circumstances, I
(18:55):
felt I've dealt with thatimposter syndrome or why me, God
?
Why are you asking me to dothis?
And I would just remind youthat that whatever God is asking
you to do, he will.
He will provide the way.
He's not surprised by yourinadequacies, he's not surprised
by your quiracies, he's notsurprised by your quirks.
He knows exactly who you areand if he's asked you to do
(19:16):
something, be faithful, trustingthat the guy that he sees all
and knows all and will make itpossible.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
That is lovely.
I love that so much.
Thank you, thank you.
Okay, so where can we find you?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yeah, the best way to find me is through my website,
heatherdaynet.
So that's heatherdaynet, and onthere you can find all my
socials.
I'd love you.
I'd love to connect.
I'm old school, I'm not astrendy as everybody else, so if
you're going to connect with me,probably Facebook is the place
to do it.
But you could find all thatinformation on my website, and I
keep a blog there.
Um would love to love tointeract with you and hear from
(19:51):
you.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Wonderful.
Okay, and so tell us where wecan find your book as well.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah, the book is available wherever your favorite
books are sold, so you can findit on Amazon, Barnes and Noble
Walmart.
Wherever you like to shop forbooks, you can find it there.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Wonderful, that's really easy.
Is it on your website as well?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
There's information on there that'll take you to a
direct link.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Wonderful, okay, and so I will link those in the
description of this so everybodycan get a hold of you.
That is amazing, all right,well, thank you so much for
being with us, heather.
Oh, it's been a real pleasure.
Thank you, absolutely,absolutely.
Bye guys.
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