Episode 6: This Is Not About Trying

Effortless Attention and Letting Go of Force

Trying harder is often the enemy of presence. In this episode, you’ll learn how mindfulness grows not from effort, but from allowing.
Explore the paradox of ‘not trying’ and how gentleness cultivates deeper focus.

Tags: mindfulness, acceptance, effortlessness, attention training, CBT

Hashtags: #EffortlessMindfulness #GentleFocus

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🧠 Created by Dr. Jerry Gelbart | © 2025 All rights reserved

How to train your brain.

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✨ Thanks for listening to The Potent Mind.


🎧 Subscribe for weekly insights on mindfulness, neuroplasticity, and conscious living.


🌐 Learn more and access free resources at www.thepotentmind.com


🧠 Created by Dr. Jerry Gelbart | © 2025 All rights reserved

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
There is only one corner of the universe you can
be certain of improving, andthat is your own self.
Aldous Huxley Do you havevalues?
What are your values?
If you have a choice betweensticking to your values or
pleasing someone else, which doyou choose?
Which is more important for you,being accepted or doing what you

(00:22):
believe is right?
Examples of values you mightbelieve in would be honesty,
independence, compassion,treating others with respect,
living by the golden rule,trying not to hurt others, and
contributing to society and theworld.
Make your own list.
It has to be your own, not mine,not your mother's or father's.

(00:43):
It doesn't mean that we'll beperfect at it, but it becomes a
guideline or template for ouraction choices.
When you think about, hey Joe,what outcome do I want?
Your values will be an importantguideline.
You can't control if otherpeople will like you.
but you can control your choiceof actions through mindfulness,
being present, being aware ofyour doubts, fears, and

(01:05):
judgments from childhood, andchoosing actions which fit your
values.
Many people live life by thereverse golden rule, the RGR.
We often see the world asdog-eat-dog, everyone out for
themselves.
So the belief is, people willtreat me selfishly, and the RGR
goes, treat other people the wayyou expect them to treat you.

(01:28):
This is also known as thescrew-em rule.
You can choose for yourself andyou can choose what you value in
others.
I have found that the goldenrule, rather than the reverse
golden rule, has brought mebetter relationships and friends
who similarly respect myfeelings.
One of the important ways thatthe potent mind works is by

(01:50):
helping you create a new spaceinside.
When you start to let go of yourjudgments and your fears of
other people's judgments, itwill leave you with some
emptiness.
When you consider your values,your needs, your strengths and
weaknesses, and what gets yourjuices flowing, you will begin
to imagine new possibilities foryour life.
Follow your passions.
Develop your values.

(02:11):
Build your character traits.
Use your strengths.
Face your weaknesses and shorethem up with help where needed.
We are a work in progress.
What follows will be somecharacter traits and values that
I've put together.
You may not agree with all ofthem.
You have to work out your own.
We'll never live up to all ofthem all of the time, but

(02:32):
they're goals we set that canguide our choices of action.
Mind gem number six.
Determine your values andpriorities and use these as
guides for action.
Determine the character traitsyou value and develop them in
yourself.
The potent-minded individual hasintegrity, has values and tries

(02:55):
to live by them, takes care oftheir own body and mind, Has
good eye contact, handshake, andsays hello to strangers.
Is motivated intrinsically.
Goes less by external reward.
In general, if I do the rightthing, good things will happen
to me.
Follows through on what theysay, and they project that.

(03:16):
Takes responsibility formistakes.
Non-defensive, non-blaming,non-violent, except for physical
defense, and non-judging.
Is firm, resolute, andpersistent.
Has clarity of thinking, intent,purpose, speech, and body
language.
Of what's okay and what's notokay with them.

(03:37):
And of who they want to bearound and who they don't.
The individual has presence.
They feel like they're focusedon you and focused on the task
and there for you for that time.
Has compassion, empathy, andgenerosity for themselves.
Experiences, acknowledges, andvalidates their own feelings
without acting on themimpulsively.

(03:57):
And for others.
can feel for you, with you, andthen let it go and not carry it.
Accepts his or her ownstrengths, weaknesses,
successes, and failures, as wellas those of others.
Respects boundaries of others.
Accepts that people will do orwon't do whatever they choose.
We might influence them, but wecan't control them.

(04:18):
Is confident and humble.
Self-esteem is not an issue atall.
It's not a useful concept.
No one is better or worse thananyone else.
Instead, we try to live each dayto the fullest.
The focus is not on worryingabout others or whether they
like us or not.
Instead, the focus is on actingand being the type of person we
strive to be.
Teaches that what you do and whoyou are are even more important

(04:44):
and a better teacher to othersthan what you say.
And even more important thanpeople liking you.
Actions speak louder than words.
Speak softly and carry a bigstick.