This Is What I Could Do for Her” – Birth, Loss, and Love as a Mother and Midwife

Ashley shares the sacred and heart-shattering story of her daughter Marigold, born after a fatal diagnosis. In this deeply moving episode, Ashley walks us through the months of preparing to say goodbye, the home birth she fought for, and the moments of peace, presence, and pain that came after. She also shares the path to her rainbow pregnancy and the emotional birth of her son, Wesley, born just over a year later.

We talk about:

• Receiving a life-limiting diagnosis halfway through pregnancy
• Choosing comfort care and preparing for her daughter’s death
• Planning a home birth for a baby who wouldn’t stay
• The sacred 43 minutes she spent holding Marigold
• The moment her two daughters met— just before Goldie passed
• Navigating postpartum grief, rage, and the aching silence that followed
• Becoming pregnant again just 4.5 months later
• The emotional and physical intensity of birthing after loss
• The healing, heartbreak, and transformation that comes with mothering all her children

This episode is a tender, powerful reminder that grief and beauty can coexist— and that birth, even in loss, can absolutely be sacred.

🕊️ Goldie, this one is for you.

 

Get to Know Ashley:

Ashley Thorup is a mom to three children, Luca June, Marigold, and Wesley, a wife to Michael, and a home birth midwife from Fayetteville, Arkansas. When she isn’t with her loved ones or attending births, she enjoys being outdoors, reading, writing, gardening, and eating really dark chocolate.

 

Connect with Ashley: 

Instagram: @ashley.thorup

Website: marigoldmidwifery.com

 

Connect with Kristin:

📍 Website: thedoulalife.ca

🌈 The Haven - Pregnancy After Loss Support Program: thedoulalife.ca/the-haven -- use promo code: RAINBOW to save $100 on enrollment

🕊 RECLAIM -- The PAL Birth Course: thedoulalife.ca/reclaim -- use promo code: RECLAIM to save $100

📸 Instagram: @the.doula.life

 

If you enjoyed this episode of the podcast, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review– this helps get the show and resources mentioned into the hands of the women that need them! And please share it with someone who could use this kind of support. Your support means so much.