4 Things That TRIGGER Estranged Moms Most (You're Not Alone)

Estrangement is painful every day—but on certain days, it feels unbearable. Whether it’s a birthday, holiday, big life milestone, or even just scrolling social media, some moments hit estranged moms like a wave. In this episode, we’re talking about the 4 most common emotional triggers during estrangement—and how to cope when they come. You are not alone if you feel grief on your child’s birthday or dread the silence during the holidays. If the anticipation of connection turns into disappointment again and again, this episode will help you find peace, protect your heart, and move forward with hope. You deserve support, healing, and compassion—especially on the hardest days.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
If you have ever felt the sting ofbeing left out of your own child's

(00:03):
life, I know it hurts more thanyou thought it would or ever could.
You know, the world keeps celebratingtheir families and you're left
wondering if anyone even knowswhat the silence feels like.
So if you're a mom facing estrangementand needing to know how to cope.
With each one of these triggers thatI'm gonna share with you to be able
to do that without losing yourself inthe pain, then this video is for you.

(00:27):
Today I wanna talk about the 4most common emotional triggers
that you may be experiencing.
It might be your child'sbirthday, a major holiday.
It might just be another quiet day.
Number one is holidays and birthdays.
You know those celebrations togetherand any of them feel like grief.

(00:52):
And these are the days that for youas a mom, they were once filled with
joy and traditions and laughter andnow most likely they bring up sorrow.
whether it's your child's birthday,Mother's Day, your birthday, Christmas,
or maybe it's just a season whereyour family used to take vacations.
You know, it can feel like everyoneelse is celebrating while you feel

(01:14):
like you're barely holding it together.
You might even be sending acard or longing to, or a message
and maybe it was ignored.
Either way, the ache isreal and you know what?
You're allowed to grieve whatused to be, but you're also
allowed to create something new.
Just for you a moment to honorthe love that you still carry

(01:37):
for them, and also to include inthat the hope of what's to come.
Number two is milestones.
The moments that you're not part of.
whether it be a graduation, a wedding,a baby announcement, I have a lot
of clients right now who are havingto stand on the wayside when their

(01:58):
first grandchild is born, or theirson or daughter is getting married.
And these are supposed to be like thehappiest, proudest moments of your life.
But estrangement or what hashappened in your family turns
these events into wounds for you.
Because you know what?
You may be finding out through someoneelse that this is even happening,

(02:18):
or worse yet, social media, findingout that your child's moving on.
It feels like they've kind of writtenyou out of the story, and so I want
you to know that if you choose, you canstill bless them from afar if you truly
love them and you're happy for them,even though they're not talking to you.

(02:40):
But you know what?
Your worth was never tied to beingin that front row, especially at a
wedding that doesn't define your worth.
So if this is resonating with you andyou're tired of, pretending you're
fine, when really you're grieving,then I invite you to a discovery call.
It's an opportunity.
It's a conversation that I have with you.

(03:01):
It's not a coaching call, rather it's aconsultation for when you are ready to
learn about one-on-one or group coaching.
Something to move you forward so thatyou're not stuck, and if that is you,
you can find the link below for thediscovery call in the show notes.
Number three is social media.

(03:21):
As I mentioned, the pain of watchingfrom a distance, especially when
you're learning some big news.
You know, it might just be onephoto or one post, but it's
enough to ruin your whole day.
And we've talked about this before, butit really can become a window into a
life that you're no longer a part of.
And it hurts, and you may evensee smiling faces in all of this.

(03:44):
You see your grandkids possibly, right?
We have to protect your peace.
We need to log off, hit mute, setboundaries around what you see unfollow.
None of that is goingto serve you right now.
So many of my clients are doingthat, and they're just saying no to
social media right now, or at leastunfollowing their child, et cetera.

(04:10):
Number four is the roller coasterof hope and let down, you all
know what that feels like.
It's the ups and downs, and there's alwaysthat small flicker of hope at times.
Maybe they'll call, maybe this yearwill be different, but when it's not.
It cuts even deeper.
And this trigger is probably themost, difficult for moms because you

(04:33):
build yourself up hoping for a miracleonly to be met with silence again.
But hope can be so beautiful,but it needs some boundaries.
You can't just live in the hope, right?
You have to give yourself permission toexpect less, so that your heart doesn't
break more, and that it's not giving up.
It's really guarding your soul.
It's not giving up at all.

(04:54):
It's not moving on, it'smoving forward, which is good.
That's what we need.
So these four triggers are so difficultfor moms, the holidays, the birthdays,
the milestones, the social media, therollercoaster of hope and let down.
these moments are so deeply personalfor each and every one of you.

(05:15):
they hurt in ways that most peoplewon't understand, But you don't
have to go through them alone.
There is healing throughthis I hope this blessed you.
I'll see you in the next episode.
God bless.