4 Ways to Cope When Your Adult Child Ghosts You

When your adult child ghosts you — suddenly stops replying with no explanation — it’s heartbreaking. You may feel confused, ashamed, or helpless. But you're not alone — and you're not without hope.

In this episode, I share 4 powerful, faith-rooted ways to cope with the silence and heartbreak of being ghosted by your grown child. You’ll also hear a hopeful truth: 81% of adult children who ghost their mothers eventually come back.

If you're tired of spinning your wheels, trying to figure it all out alone, I invite you to book a private discovery call. Together, we can map out your next step toward peace and clarity.

READY TO TAKE YOUR FIRST STEP? Book a discovery call for a consultation.👇 Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/sallyharris-discoverycall/30min

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Has your adult child ghosted you?
Stopped replying to your calls,your texts, and it's like they
disappeared without explanationand maybe some of them did.
And you're left drowning in whatappears to be very much silence.
And so if that's where you aretoday, you're not alone and
you don't have to stay stuck.

(00:21):
today I wanna talk to you about thisand what you should do while you are
being ghosted by your adult child.
So let's dive in.
Number one is stoptrying to force a reply.
I know your first instinct isto write the letter immediately.

(00:44):
Keep reaching out, all of that,because for most of you, it's not
making any logical sense on why thisis happening or you're not seeing
the forest through the trees, right?
So when this happens.
You feel ghosted and this ishappening, your mind is spiraling.
So more than likely, you're rereadingold messages or texts, and you're

(01:05):
replaying every conversation in yourhead, wondering what you did wrong.
And so you might even try to fix it.
Like I said, these, theseletters, long texts, trying to
explain yourself again and again.
Apologizing for everything in thekitchen sink, even if you didn't do it.
So forcing communication rarelybrings this real connection back.

(01:27):
And this has been my personal experienceas well as the many moms that I
have coached who have been ghosted.
I truly believe that the best thingto do is to not force this time.
And I know it's difficult, butforcing communication I is the,
you know, the more you chase.

(01:49):
The more it chips away at your peaceand your child is not feeling like
you're honoring what they've asked.
if there's a real reason andthey're trying to work on themselves
and they need some time, right?
I'm not saying you just let itgo for a year, there's a lot
of circumstances around that.
So it's not just a easy, easy, youknow, scenario and just saying one

(02:11):
size fits all and this is what you do.
But you have to protectyourself first and foremost.
You have to protect your own energy.
So pulling back, trying to release theneed to get an answer right now, knowing
that you're very much likely to get theanswer, but right now you don't have it.
the space that you wanna be inis one that you're not giving up.

(02:33):
It's giving God room to moveand do what only he can do.
Number two is don't letthe silence define you.
as that silence is happening,it gets louder and louder in
our head, which is the enemy.
You failed.
What did you do wrong?
They hate you.
You're not worth, you're not worth loving.
You know, their silence is not youridentity and the lies that the enemy is

(02:57):
putting in your head about you or whatyou did doesn't mean you were perfect.
But they're very strong and youneed to start paying attention to
what voice you're listening to.
adult children ghost for many reasons.
A lot of it's emotional immaturity.
They're not handling their ownlife well for whatever reason.
Maybe they fear confrontationwith you or family.

(03:21):
Maybe they're being influenced by others.
Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands,wives, who knows, or even trauma that
they haven't unpacked themselves.
And for a lot of kids rightnow, especially, you know,
they're not unpacking it.
And when they are, they're beingtold to just, they're just to cut

(03:42):
you off just to take a pause, right?
So it doesn't mean that you caused it,it doesn't mean that you are broken.
You are still the same loving,devoted mom who likely gave her all.
Now, that may not be their perception,but you have to know what you have done.

(04:02):
And it does matter because even ifthey're not acknowledging it right
now, you need to know that you didthe best you could with what you had.
And I know that sounds cliche,but it's so, so, so true.
So if you are living in this quietheartbreak because that's what this is
and you're not sure what to do next,I want to invite you to something.

(04:22):
I offer private discovery calls formoms, just for moms who are tired of
trying to hold it all together, alone.
it's not a coaching session,It's a consultation to see if
we're a good fit for coaching.
So if that's something that youare kind of support that you're
considering for yourself, then thatwould be the time to reach out.
the link will be in the show notes belowand you can book that at that time.

(04:45):
this could be your turning point, Gettingin a community, whether it's one-on-one
coaching, group coaching, whateverit is that you feel that you need.
I would love to meet you, uh, for thatpurpose and just to kind of hear what's
going on and how it's affecting you too.
Number three is speak truth.
Speak truth into yourself,into the loneliness.

(05:05):
Because it's there, theloneliness is there, and ghosting
creates emotional isolation.
So even if you're surrounded by aroom full of people, you feel unseen.
We've all been there for whateverreason, we've all been in a room
full of people and still feel alone.
when you're going throughsomething like this, it magnifies

(05:26):
and the enemy loves isolation.
You know, that's where shame grows.
That is where shame grows.
He wants you isolated, because ifyou're in community and have support,
you're able to shake that a lot easier.
You're able to break that off.
But healing begins when you speaktruth into yourself as well.
So whether you're journaling somereally raw things that maybe just

(05:49):
for your eyes only, that's okay.
It might be prayer, you know, whatever itis for you, that is what you need to do.
when you start speaking truthover yourself and over your
family, and not just truth butlife, loneliness will shrink.
You need to speak life over your familybecause your voice is part of this

(06:10):
healing, What you speak is powerful.
It really is.
And you get to choose.
You get to choose the wordsthat come outta your mouth.
So keep that in mind.
And number four is building a life thatyou're not wanting to escape, right?
every person should be doing this, whetheryou're going through estrangement or not.
it's easy to hit that pause buttonto think also for your kids.

(06:31):
Like once they come back, I'll be okay.
Once they text, I'll be okay.
But it's not good for yourself.
Or if you're married, maybeyou have other children.
You have a life to live.
Reconnection will likely happenlater, but right now, life is
happening And what are you doing?
So what can I say yes to thisweek that brings me joy or peace,

(06:53):
What can you say yes to this week?
Ask yourself that question.
Maybe it's movement.
It's working out.
It's taking care of yourself.
It's worship, it's community.
Set a new goal.
You can honor the ache and realize that,yes, accept that this is where I'm at
today, but I'm not staying this way.
I'm not gonna abandon my own lifebecause my son or daughter wants a break.

(07:16):
when they do return, they're gonna seea mom who's not bitter, but blooming.
How beautiful is that?
And I wanna give you alittle bit of hope here.
Did you know that there's also a study.
From 2022 that says 81% ofadult children who ghost their
mothers eventually connect.

(07:38):
So if you're holding your breath,let this be your reminder that you
don't have to wait to start healing.
You need to start walking in peaceand let your healing start before
the door reopens, not after,
Because that will be a huge signfor your son or daughter as well,
and they're gonna see maybe anew mom, maybe a healthier mom.

(07:59):
I know my daughter came backto a healthier mom, and I'm so
grateful for that opportunity.
I don't wish her to ever go throughwhat she's gone through again.
And frankly, I don't want to either.
But I see the fruit of it, andI see the good that came out of
what the enemy tried to destroy.
He didn't destroy my family.
The Lord reconciled it andhe can do the same for you.

(08:22):
So don't stay isolated.
Book a discovery call if you're ready toconsider some coaching and we can talk
about some support that can help you.
just remember, you're not alone andyou're stronger than you feel right now.
I hope this helped you.
God bless.
I'll see you in the next episode.