March 25, 2025 • 10 mins
Can You COUNT on Your Family During Estrangement? Are you struggling with estrangement and feeling like your family isn’t the support system you need? You’re not alone. The truth is, the people you expect to help you through this may not be the ones who actually do. In this episode, I’ll walk you through how to ask for support, set healthy boundaries, and build a strong network—whether that’s with family, friends, or outside communities. Healing doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Listen now to learn how to find the support you truly deserve.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
When you're going through estrangement,you might expect your family to be the
ones that are lifting you up, but thehard truth is they're often not the ones
who are going to get you through this,and the realization can feel very lonely.
But here's the good news.
Support is definitely out there.
And today I wanna show you how tofind it, even if your family isn't
(00:22):
the safe space you had hoped for.
today I have four pointsI wanna share with you.
So let's dive in.
Number one is how to askyour family for support.
during estrangement.
We need to recognize what typeof support do you really need?
(00:43):
What type of support areyou really looking for?
And it varies by person, by mom.
However, much of it is universal and itmatters because having a strong support
system, is the first facet of the coachingthat I actually do with my moms in a
group setting, but also one-on-one.
I need to know what type of asupport system do you have because.
(01:07):
That is what helps with the emotionalresilience to get through a situation, and
it also prevents feelings of isolation.
I don't know how many of you aredealing with isolation, but I know I
certainly did for a very long time untilI started talking about the situation.
And it can feel super overwhelming youneed to ask yourself when you're feeling
(01:30):
overwhelmed, do I need a listening ear?
Do I need encouragement ordo I need practical help?
at different times, you're gonna need oneor the other, or all of the above, Because
if you reflect on some past moments ofemotional distress, whether it be this
situation or something else, think aboutit like were you looking for advice?
(01:52):
Or did you just need someone to listen?
the first thing you need to dois understand your own needs
because that makes it easierto ask for the right support.
the moms that I serve, they'relooking for all of the above.
they need me to listen, but theyalso need practical advice and they
need empathy to be quite honest.
And that's where ourfamilies can't always help.
(02:13):
Or even our closest friends, thesepeople love you like no other.
It can get very frustrating andreally hard to understand why.
Why are they not the personthat's gonna help me through this?
This makes no sense, Sally, buttrust me, they usually are not.
Number two is setting healthy boundaries.
(02:33):
So what is the support thatyou really need and what are
the boundaries around it?
And now remember, these are people inyour family, Or really close friends.
But these are people that are safefor you to say these things to.
Okay?
So you have to remember that boundariesprevent unwanted advice or pressure,
(02:56):
and it's also going to ensure you'regetting the support that you need.
Support that feels helpful,not draining, right?
For some people, a group situationis not what they want because
hearing other people's situationis too draining for them.
I am super happy, and I love the group,the moms that I coach, because I do
(03:16):
not feel that I hear that very often.
These moms are uplifting even in themidst of their worst trial of their life.
These women are amazing,and I'm so grateful to know
each and every one of them.
But if a family member or areally close friend keeps telling
you how to fix the situation.
You can say something like, you knowwhat, I really appreciate your concern,
(03:39):
but right now I just need someone tolisten without trying to solve it.
And that goes back to my lastvideo about marriage, right?
sometimes we just need that listening ear.
We don't need our husband to fixit because he can't, doesn't matter
how close you are or lack of, he'snot probably going to be the one
he certainly could be of help.
(04:00):
Absolutely.
If he's in the right frame of mind.
we need to be direct, but we needto be kind to these family members
so you can let them know what ishelpful and what is not, so that
way the support remains positive.
And I'll just be frank with youif your sister or cousin or best
friend can't remain positive.
(04:23):
Giving you support that you need,whether it's just that listening ear
or practical advice, then I thinkI would shut that communication
off when it comes to this topic.
I'm not saying shut these people out.
I'm just saying you need peoplewho are going to remain positive,
who are going to encourage you.
You can go in the deep, dark holeof your mind all by yourself.
(04:44):
You don't need anyone elseto help you with that.
You need the people thatare going to lift you up.
Be there for you.
And sometimes that is just a listeningear and everyone is capable of doing that.
Some people don't do it veryeasily, or it might be a little bit
harder because they want to fix it.
So again, being really direct and clearabout what you need is really important.
(05:06):
For those of you moms that are readyto take that next courageous step,
as I call it, towards taking care ofyourself during this difficult time.
If you're looking for a lifeline andyou as a mom, as a person are committed
to finding peace and support, then I'dlike to explore how I can help you.
I do have an opportunity fora discovery call with me.
(05:26):
It is not a coaching call.
It is an opportunity where Iget to learn more about what
is going on in your journey.
Mostly we're gonna talk about you.
I need to know if we'rethe right fit for coaching.
I need to know if you are readyto invest and really work on
yourself, because after all.
The only person you can control isyou and spots are definitely limited.
(05:47):
So please only sign up if you'reserious about prioritizing your own
wellbeing and you wanna grow throughthis situation and you wanna heal.
if that is you, then you can clickthe link in the show notes, for the
discovery call and get that scheduled.
I look forward to talking withyou and serving you in the future.
number three, we need to have somehonest conversations about your needs.
(06:10):
What does that look like?
family members may not realizehow much you're struggling
unless you communicate it openly.
Are you isolating?
Are you pretending everything is okay?
Are you putting the smile on?
These conversations have tobe honest because No one knows
exactly how you're feeling.
We can presume by, you know, thelook on our face, we can presume
(06:33):
by what comes out of our mouth.
But people who know you bestare probably gonna be able to,
read right through all of that.
if you were to say to that familymember or best friend, you know what,
I'm having a really, really, reallytough time and I need your support.
I don't need solutions.
I just need someone to talkto, and you're my sister.
(06:54):
You're my best friend.
You're my husband, whoever thatperson is, and focus on the
emotions instead of explainingevery detail of the estrangement.
And this is what we do on the discoverycall that I was just mentioning.
We could talk for days abouteverything that has happened with
your son or daughter, but thishelps me understand the situation.
(07:17):
it's going to help your familymember help you as well.
You just need someone to talk to.
Let's focus on your emotions.
'cause emotions are fleeting.
We have to remember that we can't makedecisions based off emotions, but we don't
need every detail of the estrangement.
So that will help your familymember help you as well.
And number four is managing thoseexpectations with the unsupportive ones.
(07:41):
So we all have someunsupportive family members.
A lot of it stems back to beingunable to empathize with you because
they haven't been through it, right?
your goal is to find those that canoffer the support that you need, but
not everyone is going to understandyour situation, and that is okay.
It's not their fault.
(08:01):
But if a family member dismissesyour feelings and says something
like, I don't know what yourproblem is, you need to get over it.
This has been going on too long.
You know what?
That's where you say, I understandthat you have not dealt with this.
I understand that this is hard to relateto, but I just need you to be here for me.
(08:22):
If a family member gives, continuesto give unwanted opinions, then
maybe you just say, I appreciateyour perspective, but right now I
need emotional support, not advice.
if they are unable to provide that foryou, then you know that they're not the
one that's gonna help you through this.
So it does take some work tofigure out who those people are
gonna be in your family, right?
Again, not everyone is going tounderstand this journey, but that doesn't
(08:45):
mean you have to go through it alone.
we all have, possible family support.
Some of you don't.
we need to seek support fromfriends, support groups,
professional help, whatever you need.
we deserve to be supportedbecause you need to heal.
Your son or daughterneeds to heal as well.
You can't do that for them.
your job begins by being supported.
(09:08):
You have to ask for it.
I don't know you unless you contact me,The moms that I come across in my everyday
life, I am absolutely helping them.
I don't know someone's goingthrough that unless they tell me.
So if you're looking for help, youneed to ask for it, and I just wanna
encourage you that you are worth it.
(09:29):
Don't continue to do this alone.
This is not anything that youshould be going through alone.
We aren't meant to dolife alone in general.
I hope this helps you.
I will see you in the next episode.
God bless.
When you're going through estrangement,you might expect your family to be the
ones that are lifting you up, but thehard truth is they're often not the ones
who are going to get you through this,and the realization can feel very lonely.
But here's the good news.
Support is definitely out there.
And today I wanna show you how tofind it, even if your family isn't
(00:22):
the safe space you had hoped for.
today I have four pointsI wanna share with you.
So let's dive in.
Number one is how to askyour family for support.
during estrangement.
We need to recognize what typeof support do you really need?
(00:43):
What type of support areyou really looking for?
And it varies by person, by mom.
However, much of it is universal and itmatters because having a strong support
system, is the first facet of the coachingthat I actually do with my moms in a
group setting, but also one-on-one.
I need to know what type of asupport system do you have because.
(01:07):
That is what helps with the emotionalresilience to get through a situation, and
it also prevents feelings of isolation.
I don't know how many of you aredealing with isolation, but I know I
certainly did for a very long time untilI started talking about the situation.
And it can feel super overwhelming youneed to ask yourself when you're feeling
(01:30):
overwhelmed, do I need a listening ear?
Do I need encouragement ordo I need practical help?
at different times, you're gonna need oneor the other, or all of the above, Because
if you reflect on some past moments ofemotional distress, whether it be this
situation or something else, think aboutit like were you looking for advice?
(01:52):
Or did you just need someone to listen?
the first thing you need to dois understand your own needs
because that makes it easierto ask for the right support.
the moms that I serve, they'relooking for all of the above.
they need me to listen, but theyalso need practical advice and they
need empathy to be quite honest.
And that's where ourfamilies can't always help.
(02:13):
Or even our closest friends, thesepeople love you like no other.
It can get very frustrating andreally hard to understand why.
Why are they not the personthat's gonna help me through this?
This makes no sense, Sally, buttrust me, they usually are not.
Number two is setting healthy boundaries.
(02:33):
So what is the support thatyou really need and what are
the boundaries around it?
And now remember, these are people inyour family, Or really close friends.
But these are people that are safefor you to say these things to.
Okay?
So you have to remember that boundariesprevent unwanted advice or pressure,
(02:56):
and it's also going to ensure you'regetting the support that you need.
Support that feels helpful,not draining, right?
For some people, a group situationis not what they want because
hearing other people's situationis too draining for them.
I am super happy, and I love the group,the moms that I coach, because I do
(03:16):
not feel that I hear that very often.
These moms are uplifting even in themidst of their worst trial of their life.
These women are amazing,and I'm so grateful to know
each and every one of them.
But if a family member or areally close friend keeps telling
you how to fix the situation.
You can say something like, you knowwhat, I really appreciate your concern,
(03:39):
but right now I just need someone tolisten without trying to solve it.
And that goes back to my lastvideo about marriage, right?
sometimes we just need that listening ear.
We don't need our husband to fixit because he can't, doesn't matter
how close you are or lack of, he'snot probably going to be the one
he certainly could be of help.
(04:00):
Absolutely.
If he's in the right frame of mind.
we need to be direct, but we needto be kind to these family members
so you can let them know what ishelpful and what is not, so that
way the support remains positive.
And I'll just be frank with youif your sister or cousin or best
friend can't remain positive.
(04:23):
Giving you support that you need,whether it's just that listening ear
or practical advice, then I thinkI would shut that communication
off when it comes to this topic.
I'm not saying shut these people out.
I'm just saying you need peoplewho are going to remain positive,
who are going to encourage you.
You can go in the deep, dark holeof your mind all by yourself.
(04:44):
You don't need anyone elseto help you with that.
You need the people thatare going to lift you up.
Be there for you.
And sometimes that is just a listeningear and everyone is capable of doing that.
Some people don't do it veryeasily, or it might be a little bit
harder because they want to fix it.
So again, being really direct and clearabout what you need is really important.
(05:06):
For those of you moms that are readyto take that next courageous step,
as I call it, towards taking care ofyourself during this difficult time.
If you're looking for a lifeline andyou as a mom, as a person are committed
to finding peace and support, then I'dlike to explore how I can help you.
I do have an opportunity fora discovery call with me.
(05:26):
It is not a coaching call.
It is an opportunity where Iget to learn more about what
is going on in your journey.
Mostly we're gonna talk about you.
I need to know if we'rethe right fit for coaching.
I need to know if you are readyto invest and really work on
yourself, because after all.
The only person you can control isyou and spots are definitely limited.
(05:47):
So please only sign up if you'reserious about prioritizing your own
wellbeing and you wanna grow throughthis situation and you wanna heal.
if that is you, then you can clickthe link in the show notes, for the
discovery call and get that scheduled.
I look forward to talking withyou and serving you in the future.
number three, we need to have somehonest conversations about your needs.
(06:10):
What does that look like?
family members may not realizehow much you're struggling
unless you communicate it openly.
Are you isolating?
Are you pretending everything is okay?
Are you putting the smile on?
These conversations have tobe honest because No one knows
exactly how you're feeling.
We can presume by, you know, thelook on our face, we can presume
(06:33):
by what comes out of our mouth.
But people who know you bestare probably gonna be able to,
read right through all of that.
if you were to say to that familymember or best friend, you know what,
I'm having a really, really, reallytough time and I need your support.
I don't need solutions.
I just need someone to talkto, and you're my sister.
(06:54):
You're my best friend.
You're my husband, whoever thatperson is, and focus on the
emotions instead of explainingevery detail of the estrangement.
And this is what we do on the discoverycall that I was just mentioning.
We could talk for days abouteverything that has happened with
your son or daughter, but thishelps me understand the situation.
(07:17):
it's going to help your familymember help you as well.
You just need someone to talk to.
Let's focus on your emotions.
'cause emotions are fleeting.
We have to remember that we can't makedecisions based off emotions, but we don't
need every detail of the estrangement.
So that will help your familymember help you as well.
And number four is managing thoseexpectations with the unsupportive ones.
(07:41):
So we all have someunsupportive family members.
A lot of it stems back to beingunable to empathize with you because
they haven't been through it, right?
your goal is to find those that canoffer the support that you need, but
not everyone is going to understandyour situation, and that is okay.
It's not their fault.
(08:01):
But if a family member dismissesyour feelings and says something
like, I don't know what yourproblem is, you need to get over it.
This has been going on too long.
You know what?
That's where you say, I understandthat you have not dealt with this.
I understand that this is hard to relateto, but I just need you to be here for me.
(08:22):
If a family member gives, continuesto give unwanted opinions, then
maybe you just say, I appreciateyour perspective, but right now I
need emotional support, not advice.
if they are unable to provide that foryou, then you know that they're not the
one that's gonna help you through this.
So it does take some work tofigure out who those people are
gonna be in your family, right?
Again, not everyone is going tounderstand this journey, but that doesn't
(08:45):
mean you have to go through it alone.
we all have, possible family support.
Some of you don't.
we need to seek support fromfriends, support groups,
professional help, whatever you need.
we deserve to be supportedbecause you need to heal.
Your son or daughterneeds to heal as well.
You can't do that for them.
your job begins by being supported.
(09:08):
You have to ask for it.
I don't know you unless you contact me,The moms that I come across in my everyday
life, I am absolutely helping them.
I don't know someone's goingthrough that unless they tell me.
So if you're looking for help, youneed to ask for it, and I just wanna
encourage you that you are worth it.
(09:29):
Don't continue to do this alone.
This is not anything that youshould be going through alone.
We aren't meant to dolife alone in general.
I hope this helps you.
I will see you in the next episode.
God bless.
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