Dealing with DISRESPECTFUL Adult Kids?

Are you dealing with a disrespectful adult child and feeling emotionally drained, confused, or even heartbroken? In this video, I’m sharing 4 powerful ways to respond that protect your peace and help you set healthy standards in the relationship. Whether you’re experiencing strained communication, emotional outbursts, or feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, you are not alone—and you can take back your strength. If you're ready for deeper healing, support, and connection with other moms who truly understand, check out the details for my upcoming in-person retreat below. It’s time to stop suffering in silence. You matter. Your peace matters.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Have you ever been blindsided byhow your adult child speaks to you?
One minute you could just be talkingand the next you feel like you've been
hit with this huge wave of disrespect.
If that is you, I wantyou to know two things.
Number one, you are not crazy.
Number two, you're not alone.
And in this video we're gonna talkabout how to handle those moments

(00:22):
without letting them steal your peace.
Now, some of you are.
Thinking back to a moment in time wherethis might have happened with your son
or daughter, and maybe it was a catalystfor them walking away or estrangement.
And then again, there's some of youlistening to this today that are
thinking, yeah, I'm in this day to dayemotional rollercoaster on how they're

(00:46):
speaking to me and the disrespectand what is going on with them.
no matter what camp you are in Ibelieve this video can help you.
So let's dive in.
I have four points for you today.
Number one is I want you torespond with calm, not chaos.

(01:09):
We can get, to the pointwhere we match their energy.
We can do that with anyone if we'rereally passionate about something.
And when it comes to your child, youare so enamored and you love your kids.
sometimes we don't respond the best way.
Guess what?
You're human.
it is gonna happen, but Iwant you to be mindful of it.
when disrespect shows up fromthem, I want you to stay calm.

(01:33):
I want your response to reflect yourvalues, not their mood, remember
that we have to let this reflect you.
Not just the situation, their mood ormaybe the past conversation you guys had a
few days ago that didn't end well, right?
this is a chance foryou to reflect on you.

(01:54):
So I want you to breathe and pause andmaybe you're gonna say something like, you
know what, I wanna talk, but I cannot talkto you when I'm being spoken to like that.
And so you are allowed to walk away.
Until it's safe and respectfulto continue the conversation.
some of you moms that might bewatching this, and let's just

(02:14):
be honest some of you may be theone that was being disrespectful.
if these things happen, I want you to knowthat if that is you, I want you to start
incorporating these as much as possible.
I always tell my clients, Even if youdon't have the opportunity to do it right
now, so let's say you are estranged oryou have very minimal conversation with

(02:36):
them, or they're not wanting to talk.
Practice on someone else.
Use these skills, these tools thatyou learn to talk with your husband,
to talk with your friends, yourother kids, whoever is in your world.
when we talk about you stayingcalm, I want you to know
that calm does not mean weak.
It means in control.
And when I say in control, I'm notsaying you're in control of your child.

(02:59):
I'm saying you can maintaincontrol of that conversation, the
situation, which is going to onlyhelp in the long term, right?
If we can maintaincontrol of the situation.
The conversation.
Let's do that because we wannakeep it as positive as possible.
calm does not mean weak.
Number two, you need to setthe standard without shame.

(03:23):
I believe we as moms need to set thestandard do we have some work on ourselves
to do, to be able to get to that point?
Forgiveness.
self-responsibility.
Yeah, We do.
And I'm all about that.
I truly believe that it starts withus and we need to set the example
as much as possible, and work onourselves until they come back.
boundaries, or what I call settingthe standard will protect your peace.

(03:48):
So maybe that's.
navigating how often you'regonna pick up that phone, or how
you're gonna reply to that text.
at some point you may need to say,if this tone continues, I'll need
to step away for a little bit.
I love you, but we justwanna be respectful and be
clear because you know what?
your kids are also navigating thisbig bad world just like we are.

(04:11):
They're not perfect.
You're not perfect.
We all have things We couldapologize for conversations we've
had where we've been negative.
Never that you always necessarilywanted to hurt that other person.
But we've all done it.
if you haven't, please email me.
I wanna hear from you.
I have never met anyone.
we don't have to overexplainthis, we don't have to justify.

(04:32):
It's okay to just standtall in what you need.
if you're modeling this, we're modelingwhat a healthy relationship looks like.
if this is resonating with you and youare a mom ready to do something just for
you, you wanna step away from all thenoise of the world and be poured into
and connect with other moms who get it.

(04:54):
I wanna personally inviteyou to my in-person retreat.
Time is running out.
We are meeting the last weekend in Aprilso I would love to have you join us.
It is a weekend of healing,laughter, clarity, and breakthrough.
And whether you're feeling stuck orexhausted, or maybe you just need some
peace, then this retreat is for you.

(05:14):
You do not have to go through this alone.
Going through this alone in thisday and age is a choice, and so
I hope that you choose to walkalongside, whether it be me or someone
else, you need to have community.
details are in the show notes below.
Space is definitely limited here,so I hope to hear from you soon and
we can get you all the information.

(05:38):
Number three is takingspace but not sides.
sometimes, the healthiest choice mightbe to take a step back, not to punish
them, but to protect your heart.
And you might say, I thinkwe both need some space.
Let's try again when things are calmer.
I have a lot of clients who'vebecome really good at this over
time, and there are some of youhearing that word from your sons or

(06:03):
daughters where I need some space.
They may not be saying, I thinkwe both need some space, but that
is something that you could say.
That way you're not blaming,you're not punishing them,
you're protecting yourself.
So when you give space to anyrelationship, it gives everyone
a chance to reflect and not reactbecause we want to definitely do that.

(06:25):
We do not want to react, we wanna respond.
And if you have that choice or theopportunity and chance to reflect as well.
You're going to come back a lotstronger because stepping away can
be a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
I hope this encourages you to notlook at all of this as weakness.
If you do need to step away andsometimes our kids need to step away,

(06:46):
but I want you to remember something.
So many times when our kids walkaway, they may be upset with you.
mad at you for something orthey might be blaming you.
at the end of the day, it could besomething that they need to work through
in their own heart and maybe they needto step away to just gain some clarity
and reevaluate their life a little bit.

(07:09):
Now I'm hoping that, while they'redoing that, they're getting some good
wisdom from, someone who's going toput stock in reconciling your family
and not trying to pull it apart.
But we don't have control overwho they're talking to and where
they're getting their wisdom from.
you were never meant tocarry this pain alone.
So number four is findingstrength and support.

(07:30):
You have to find strength in support.
You can find strength on your own.
It's gonna be a lot harder.
And so I want you to lean intocommunity, whether that is a support
group such as mine, or a reallygood friend who's gone through this,
somebody who's walked the path.
Because we need someone in your lifethat can empathize with you, that
truly can give you the support thatyou need, and guidance and wisdom.

(07:53):
So we all know talking helps yousee the situation more clearly.
It can release the pressure of feelingalone because at the end of the day,
this pressure builds up inside ofus and then we explode and get angry
because we don't know how to handle it.
This is not something we were taught.
How do you handle estrangement?
How do you handle adisrespectful adult child?

(08:14):
We're not talking a teenager here thatwe're trying to navigate, you know, the
ins and outs of, pre-teen and teens andall the, issues that come along with that.
Like, that's a whole nother category.
But this is, these are our kidsthat more than likely are not
living under a roof anymore.
And I do know how deeply this canhurt, and I also know it's confusing.

(08:37):
it can feel like the child that youlove so much, seems to have no problem
speaking to you with disrespect.
But I want you to know that you haveto take the step to protect your own
peace, Like we talked about, speakup with calm, keep the calmness, set
the standard, and choose strength.
Because you're choosing healing,then that means you're choosing you.

(09:00):
You have to start with yourself, soyou're doing better than you think.
I've spoken to so many moms latelythat are not giving themselves the
credit that they are navigating this.
So whether they're watchingmy videos or someone else's,
they're getting some wisdom.
And taking the steps totake care of themselves.

(09:21):
And I'm so proud of you and Iwant you to know, in case nobody
else has told you that lately.
if this video gave you some clarity,this podcast, if this gave you some
comfort, I would appreciate it.
If you would like it, share it,share it with another mom who
might need this message today.
So we're all struggling insome way, and let's just be the
light, and I hope this helps.

(09:41):
I'll see you in the next episode.
God bless.