Dr. Phil Said THIS About No Contact… And I Have Something to Say Too

Dr. Phil Said THIS About No Contact… And I Have Something to Say Too//In this heartfelt reaction to a powerful Dr. Phil clip, I explore the emotional question: Is going no contact helping your adult child heal—or just making it easier to hit the eject button? As a coach for moms walking through the pain of estrangement, I’ve seen firsthand the quiet strength, growth, and faith so many mothers are cultivating behind the scenes.

This video is not about blame—it’s about healing. I share the perspective of the moms I coach who are actively working on themselves, learning new communication tools, and praying for the chance to reconnect. If you're an adult child who's walked away, I encourage you to listen in. You may not know the transformation that’s happening on the other side of the silence.

Whether you're a mom looking for support or a son or daughter wondering if reconciliation is possible—this message is for you. Healing begins with understanding, and it’s never too late to open the door to a new kind of relationship.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I was watching this Dr. Phil clip, andsomething he said really stuck with me.

(00:04):
He asked, are we helping someone healby going no contact, or are we just
making it easier to hit the eject button?
Take a look.
There are definitely situations wherewalking away is the healthiest choice yet.
Here's the thing.
Are we actually helping people heal orjust making it easier for them to hit

(00:26):
the eject button on their own families?
Stats say about one in four adults isestranged from a parent, and experts
think it's only going to get more common.
So tonight we're diggingto the big question.
Is this just how families work now?
And if you cut someone off, isthere any way to fix things later?

(00:53):
My first guess, Laura is a motherwho says she was totally blindsided
when her daughter cut her off.
Then Laura went viral onTikTok as the doormat mom.
After sharing her story, whatstarted as a personal heartbreak
turned into a national debate.

(01:13):
She wants to speak up for all theparents left wondering what happened.
Are you a dormant mom?
Did you do everything in your power toraise incredible adult kids only to be
accused of doing nothing of the sort?
You didn't do good enough?
Famous treat you.
You're possibly estranged.

(01:34):
You are not alone.
There are thousands ofparents in the same boat.
You don't have to be aloneand suffer in silence.
Because you ended up tobe a doormat mom or a dad.
Okay, so I have a few commentson this in regards to what Dr.
Phil said and the doormat mom.
I completely agree with her whenshe said, you are not alone.

(01:58):
She is very right in that.
but the question that he asked, are wehelping someone heal by going no contact?
Or are we just making iteasier to hit the eject button?
What is society doing socialmedia, this trend that this
particular mom has even started?
I don't know her, I don't know her story.
I'm not judging her.

(02:19):
But what I wanted to come onhere today and talk about is
the moms that are hurting.
Because listen, I am not hereto bash the mom who's hurting.
I was that mom, right?
I was that mom at one time, and Iam not here to criticize the adult
child who walked away because I knowthis is complicated and pain can make
all of us react in different ways.

(02:41):
I've also seen a lot of familiesreconcile, With those moms feeling
like they're a doormat mom.
The difference is whatare these moms doing?
What are they doing with their pain?
What are they doing During the timeof estrangement or, maybe it's just a
short pause This is what I wanna say.
The moms that I work with,they're not playing the victim.

(03:02):
They're not stuck in doormat mode.
Do they have hard days?
Yes.
They're human, but they're choosinggrowth and they're working on themselves.
They're praying and reflecting andgetting support, and most of all,
they're preparing their hearts forthe day When that door reopens, one
of the moms in my group said onetime, I'll never forget, she said,

(03:23):
we are not here bashing our kids.
We're here to find a path forward andwe're trusting God for reconciliation.
And that's exactly it.
There's a difference.
maybe you're the mom watchingthis, that you feel like a doormat.
and maybe justly.
So, but my goal with the moms thatI serve is to help them rebuild an

(03:44):
authentic relationship with their kids.
Not a perfect one, becauseno relationship is perfect.
We're human, but sometimes weneed to learn from past mistakes.
We've all made them.
Whether you're the adult childor you're the mom, right?
And to those of you adult children whowent no contact without a conversation.
I do wanna talk to you today.

(04:06):
I would love to hear from you,but those of you that left with
no fight, no explanation, you lefta solid family with silence and
confusion because that does happen.
But I want you to know that Iunderstand that whatever you're dealing
with might be incredibly painful,

(04:28):
and I believe that your pain matters too.
But I also know this.
most of you, the moms that I serve,you have a mom over here who is
ready to walk through whateverthat is with you, with no judgment.
She's not the mom who refuses to admitthat she never did anything wrong.

(04:51):
She's not the mom that's gonna belike, I was the perfect parent.
There's no such thing.
She's not the mom that says,I did everything right.
It was all her.
It was all him.
Those aren't the moms in my world.
Those aren't the moms thatreach out to me for help.
The ones that want to play victimare the ones that go somewhere else.

(05:14):
I don't know where they get help.
Maybe they're not getting help, butthose are not the moms that I work with.
Even Dr. Phil said that's absurd, ifyou watch his whole clip, he said, if
you could choose one thing to that mom,can you choose one thing that you would
apologize or ask forgiveness for, andthat mom couldn't think of one thing.

(05:38):
So the ones that I work with aredoing the hard work and they're
owning their part, whether they're incommunication with their child or not.
It starts with us justlike you, the adult child.
This starts with you.
your mom is building new skills andgrowing in ways that you may not see yet.

(05:59):
And so if you are listening to this as anadult child, I want you to know that the
mom you walked away from, for whateverreason, may not be the same mom today.
She might be one of the moms in mycoaching programs who's digging deep,
learning new coping tools, who's settinghealthy expectations, who's taking care

(06:24):
of herself, who's preparing her heartfor when you're ready to come back?
you may think you know her,
and you may have every reasonfor why you've shut the door,
but here's the hard truth.
How do you know?
Things can't change if you never try.
So please don't let this world and allthe noise on social media convince you.

(06:49):
That cutting people off is cool.
Cutting people off isthe only way to heal.
We need to just toxic parenting.
We need to just remove ourselves.
Don't get me wrong, and I'm sureI'll get a lot of heat over this.
There are times where people needto walk away from other people.
It is extremely toxic.
I think we don't even know what theword toxic means anymore because it's

(07:10):
thrown around like if you don't getyour way or they don't do this or that
for you, all of a sudden you're toxic.
But healing maturity,comes with rebuilding.
At least trying Then you could sayyou tried again, but I want you to
know that these moms that I serve.

(07:32):
I wouldn't be working with momswho are in constant victim mode
because those people, I can't help.
But these moms, she's not bashing you.
She's not waiting with blame with thislist of things that you did wrong,
and you're probably thinking, I'mnot gonna contact her because, you

(07:53):
know, maybe I used to get criticizeda lot, or, she never listened.
She talked over me.
She's over here doing the work,praying for the day you come
back, and if you do, your mom
might be strong enough now to openthat door with love and wisdom

(08:15):
that you never thought possible.
New communication skills, listeningskills, real empathy, and a
heart ready to have an adultto adult relationship with you.
Most of your moms don'twanna parent you anymore.
They just didn't know how to stop.

(08:36):
someday, when you're a mom,if you're not already, you're
gonna understand that point.
for those of you moms that arelistening and maybe you've never
gotten the help that you need, oryou're tired of being the victim
and you're ready to do the work.
I would love to have aconsultation call with you.

(08:58):
You can click the linkbelow in the show notes.
It's called a discovery call.
It's not a coaching call.
It's a consultation where I can sharemore about how I can help you and I
can learn more about the situation.
I really hope this helped you today,and I'm really hoping that some adult
kids with an open mind are listening.
God bless.