I Stopped Chasing My Estranged Child... and Found My Freedom

For years, I lived in a cycle of hope and heartbreak — checking my phone every morning, rearranging my life around silence, and going to bed disappointed. I had completely lost myself trying to fix a relationship with my estranged child that I didn’t break alone.

In this vulnerable episode, I’m sharing the exact moments that changed everything. The rock bottom. The identity crisis. The boundary I finally set. And the surprising moment I felt peace again… even without reconciliation.

💡 If you’re a mom who’s exhausted, anxious, and heartbroken, this is for you.
🎯 Turning Point Presentation — July 25th, 2025 at 7 p.m. EST
Join me live for a powerful, hope-filled session where I’ll walk you through the steps that helped me find peace, clarity, and freedom — even in the unknown.

👉 https://www.sally-harris.com/the-turning-point-registration-form  – Save your seat today.

 

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
If you're a mom who has rearrangedyour entire life around the silence
with your adult child, maybe you'reconstantly checking your phone, you're
replaying the past in your mind andyou're wondering what you did wrong.
I just want you to know that I see you.
I've walked that same painful road, andtoday I wanna share some things that

(00:21):
help me break free from that cycle.
And finally, find peaceeven before reconciliation.
I have these four points foryou today, so let's dive in.
Number one is the cycle of obsession.
Can I just say obsession?

(00:43):
That was me, and I promiseyou it will drain you.
And for those of you that have beenin this for even a month or more,
not to mention some of you in years.
You know exactly what I'm talking aboutbecause when you're estranged from your
son or daughter, it's easy to fall intothat trap of obsessively waiting for,
a message or a call or anything, right?

(01:06):
And what happens is that cycle ofhope and disappointment ends up
consuming your time, your mind,your energy, your joy, everything.
And I want you to remember that,waiting for them to give you peace.
Is giving them completepower over your life.
And that goes for anyrelationship that we have.
you cannot wait for them to make a movebefore you have peace, because your

(01:31):
peace does not come from them, right?
let today be the day that I hope thatyou can recognize that your peace cannot
depend on someone else's decisions.
Number two is you're more than a mom.
You know, I feel like I say this a lot,but some of you need to hear it more
than once because you are a whole person.

(01:54):
estrangement can leave us feeling like theonly identity in the whole world that we
have is the mom that they don't talk toor the mom that they're disrespectful to.
But you, Susie, Terry,Amy, you're still you.
And you were created withdreams, with gifts, a calling.

(02:17):
I promise you, every one ofus have a calling and that
part of you still matters.
And so I want you to askyourself, what did I used to love?
What have I abandoned that used togive me life, that brought me joy?
Because this is about reclaiming yourselfas a whole person, not just waiting for
them to come back, and certainly notwaiting for permission to live again.

(02:41):
I did this so I know whatyou're going through.
My whole life went on hold, andwhile my whole life was going on
hold, my health went down the tubes.
I became addicted to alcohol.
So all the things, so I've been you.
I know how you're feeling.
I know what it feels like to feellike you need to numb the pain, but
I promise you that is not the answer.

(03:02):
It just makes it worse andmuch longer to recover.
So if any of this is hitting home foryou today, if you're ready to stop
living in this emotional survivalmode, I am hosting a free online event.
It's called The Turning Point, andit is on Friday, July 25th at 7:00 PM

(03:24):
EST. I'm gonna walk you through somesteps that help me move from this
constant heartache to some peace.
this is not about giving up onyour child, it's about giving
yourself permission to heal.
if you're interested, I will havethe link in the show notes below.
You can save your seat today.
Number three is boundariesare not punishment.

(03:47):
So many of us think that boundariesare mean that their punishment, but
really their protection, protectionfor them, protection for you.
And many moms feel like.
So much guilt, drawing this linein the sand with their adult child,
especially if that child is struggling.
So if they're struggling with, addictionor dealing with their own struggles

(04:09):
in life, these emotional boundariesaren't about shutting the door on them.
It's about protecting you, yourmental health, your spiritual
health, your physical health.
And you can still love them deeplyand say that this behavior's not okay.
So it's one thing if they're strugglingand they come to you and they're
like, mom, I really need some help.

(04:29):
I know every single mom watchingthis video right now would say,
I've got like, I'm gonna help you.
Of course I'm gonna help youright When they come to you.
And it's a genuine cry for help.
You're gonna be there.
But I'm talking about thebehavior that is disrespectful.
So boundaries.
Remember that this is how we honorourselves and then we leave room

(04:53):
for God to work in their life.
We need that space.
It is.
I'm grateful for it.
I'm grateful for the space I had becauseGod did miracles in my family's life.
So let's dive into the last point here.
Number four is you can have peace.
You can have peace beforereconciliation happens.

(05:14):
it doesn't have to wait until therelationship is fully restored.
God can bring calm to your spiritand theirs, even in the middle of all
of this mess, all the unknown, whereyou're like, is that even possible?
your job is to walk in joy,purpose, health and freedom while
holding out for healing for them.

(05:36):
You're not stopping your life becauseyou are allowed to live again.
So even as you continue to prayfor them and, have hope for them,
and the relationship, you needto continue to move forward.
So when you have that anchor right,anchor your identity in him, not
your child's choices, because thenpeace can become possible no matter

(05:58):
what's going on in your world.
And so just remember you do not haveto keep breaking your own heart.
Because I think that's what we really do.
You're breaking your own heart to provethat you love them, and maybe you're just
trying to prove that to yourself, or youthink that you have to do it that way,
So I hope that you start healing and starttrusting and walking through this whole

(06:20):
process with just more hope and shine.
Hopefully we'll see you on the 25th.
I hope this episode helped.
We'll see you next time.
God bless.