Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Did you know that?
Some experts now say that one in threefamilies are touched by estrangement.
Other studies confirm one in fourAmericans are estranged from a close
family member, and most often thisis between a parent and a child.
These stats are staggering and it'sjust increasing, but truly it is
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being called a silent epidemic.
for many moms, it'sthe deepest heartbreak.
They've ever known.
And the worst part is most sufferin silence, feeling ashamed,
confused, and completely alone.
But I want you to knowthat you are not alone.
And more importantly, there is hope.
even in the darkest moments onthis journey, God is not done
(00:46):
writing your family story.
Today.
I have four tips for you on this.
The trends, the statistics.
I'm gonna go into a little bit ofthat, but really just wanna help you
understand why this is happening.
we talk about drug epidemics and sextrafficking and all of these things.
(01:06):
while those epidemics could be relativeto what is happening here in estrangement,
some of the time, it is still staggering.
So let's dive in.
The first point I wanna talk to youabout is the rise of estrangement,
the cultural shift where familybonds, which used to feel unbreakable,
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Everything's being questioned now,and in many case, it's being severed.
And estrangement used to be this rareand shameful topic, and now it's.
Discussed openly,especially amongst our kids.
And so what I see as someone who helpsmoms navigate estrangement, I'm seeing
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that the younger generations are morelikely to walk away from family if
they're feeling misunderstood or theyfelt judged or emotionally unsafe.
While there are times where sometimeswe do need to walk away from people,
but have we tried every recourse?
Have we tried to navigate reconciliation?
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Have we tried to improve the relationship?
And trust me, I understand that.
Like I said, there are times,but at the same time, moms.
Parents in general are feeling sobewildered because it is a sudden silence.
And then of coursethere's a lack of closure.
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So what's causing this, Themajority of the things that I see
are social media, divorce, trauma,and communication breakdowns.
Those are some of the big ones that I see.
And these are just someof the ingredients,
That's what's feeding this epidemicand what used to be solved face-to-face
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where we would just talk to one anotheris now handled with, I'm gonna block
you or I'm gonna unfollow you, orI'm gonna ghost you, and these are
the things that we're navigating.
But I want you to know thatif you're a person of faith.
God sees through all of thatand he sees your heart and your
cries and you're not alone.
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So number two, I wanna talk about theemotional and psychological impact.
So what is this doing to you as a mom?
I know what it did to me, and I'mcertainly not blaming my daughter.
And when I say that, it'salso how I handled it.
How did I handle The cutoff, howdid I handle the emotional aspect,
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which turned into a physical aspect?
Because estrangement doesn't feellike, oh, this is just a season, like
many other things, even though itis, but it feels more like a death.
It's a death without a funeral.
no one brings casserolesor checks in on you, right?
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It's not like that.
we're expected to move forwardjust like we would, after
a death of someone we love.
People check in on you and so forth.
This is just like, okay, kind oflike you broke your leg, you get up
and you continue to move forward.
You heal, you move forward.
People don't ask you how you're doing.
And what I do know is that.
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Moms replay every moment.
my previous video was aboutcodependency, so there's that aspect too.
But in this video, I wannafocus on the epidemic itself.
And while I don't want you to besitting there replaying every single
moment, you're human and you're goingto do it, especially in the beginning
because this guilt that you'recarrying becomes a mental prison.
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Was I too harsh?
Was I too controlling?
Was I too absent?
we forget that our kids dohave their own perception.
But what happens when the silence comes?
it's not just from your child,but from others who don't
know what to say or worse.
They judge you and that isolationcuts deep and that isolation is
what leads to depression and anxietyand this heavy sense of failure.
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But I want you to hear this.
You are not a failure.
God doesn't love you any less because ofthis chapter, and he's still with you when
no one else will be, So, if you are a momtired of feeling alone in this journey as
a mom of an estranged child, join me onApril 26th and 27th in Ellenton, Florida
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for a life-changing weekend retreat.
You're going to connect, grow,and find real hope with moms who
truly get it, you're going to leavefeeling lighter, stronger, and more
confident about your next step.
if you are interested, youcan reserve your spot today.
the team email will be in the show notesbelow and I look forward to hearing
from you if you have any questions
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And time is getting closer to whereI'm gonna need to cut off applicants.
so please reach out as soon aspossible if you are interested.
Number three is the roleof communication breakdown.
Like I said, communication is one ofthe biggest things that I see, the
breakdown of that, and so many momswill say, I didn't even see it coming.
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The last argument felt minor, butsomething deeper was always going on,
sometimes these small misunderstandingswith your son or daughter.
They snowball.
It's a snowball effect and differentgenerations communicate in different ways.
what you meant as love may have been heardas control, or what you thought was just
advice, may have felt like criticism.
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And eventually both sides just kind of digin and reaching out feels risky, right?
Saying the wrong things feelsworse than saying nothing, and
that's when the silence grows.
That is what we obviously wannaavoid as much as possible.
but I just want you to know that evenin the silence, God is still working.
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What we see in the natural isnot everything that's going
on, He's behind the scenes.
Thank goodness.
So lastly number four is thegenerational differences.
our changing family dynamics.
Are different, than our kids.
And then our parents, like ourparents taught us loyalty, right?
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This generation has taught boundaries.
Our generation fought forconnection with family and friends.
This one fights for independence, andnone of them are, in and of itself
wrong, there's gotta be some balance.
And therefore respect, somewherebetween all these shifts in values
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beliefs and lifestyles, the familyunit as a whole has fractured.
many adult children are trying to healfrom wounds they couldn't explain as kids.
And many moms are trying to love kidswho suddenly feel like strangers.
It's very difficult.
So I'm hoping that this helps yourealize that this is not about blame,
it's about understanding that there isa divide and choosing to not give up.
(08:07):
It's about believing that Godcan redeem your family even
in the most broken of stories.
while culture is gonna keepchanging, God doesn't change.
if you're someone of faith, I wantyou to remember that God knows how
to reach a prodigal child even whenwe can't, and that my friend should
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give you a lot of hope becausethat is what happened in my family.
That is what happened with my daughter,and I will never stop talking about
that because it is so important.
when I was giving uphope for so many years.
I just needed to, hold on.
I needed to have that epiphany, likeI mentioned in the last video about,
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you know, when we were talking aboutcodependency and talking about, you know
what, I had to be okay, whether she wasor not, because I am still a human being.
I'm still a mom, I'm still a woman, awife, all of these things, and so are you,
because healing is gonna start with you.
Nobody's gonna do it for you.
You don't have to stay stuck indespair even though the world says
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we have an estrangement epidemic,which we do, but the healing, the
faith, those are your next steps.
And when you can believe that no matterhow far away your son or daughter
may seem, God is never far from you.
And I obviously help moms.
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There are other people youneed to find a community.
People who are going to love youthrough this and help you through this.
And like I've mentioned manytimes, that's why I do what I do.
I didn't have those people.
I didn't have peoplethat could understand.
I had loving friends, and I evenhad, some family that helped.
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But at the end of the day, unlessyou've gone through it, it is just so
difficult to walk someone through sucha difficult, heartbreaking journey.
And so I hope this helps explain theepidemic per se, helps you understand
what is going on, why it's happening,but we don't have to succumb to it.
We have to keep moving forwardand healing starts with you.
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So I hope this helped.
I will see you in the next episode.
God bless.