Is Social Media Causing You Emotional Pain?

Is social media quietly draining your energy and peace? If you're a mom navigating estrangement from your adult child, you may not even realize how deeply those scrolling moments are affecting your heart. From unexpected emotional triggers to the comparison trap, vague or painful posts from your child—or complete silence—social media can amplify your grief without warning. In this episode, I’ll walk you through the hidden emotional pain behind social media, how to recognize the patterns, and practical ways to protect your peace online. You're not weak for feeling this—you’re human. And you deserve support as you heal.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Maybe you're just scrolling on yourphone, trying to relax, just chilling
out for a while when suddenly you see it.
You see that picture of the happyfamily vacation and your heart
sinks, and you don't even know why.
At first, you know, this isn'tjust social media issues.
This is emotional pain that's showingup on a screen right in front of you.

(00:22):
And if you've ever feltthis, you're not weak.
You're grieving.
You're not alone.
And today I wanna talk to you about this.
This was a big factor in how Iwent downhill really quickly,
was the comparison trap andhow social media can do that.
So I wanna give you fourpoints on this today.
So let's dive in.

(00:46):
First of all, the triggersyou were not looking for.
We all have triggers that we can identify.
We could probably make a list.
In fact, I have my clients do that mostof the time because some of you have
substantial amount of triggers that you'retrying to navigate but these are triggers
you weren't necessarily looking for.
Social media is full of that, right?
The unexpected emotional traps, especiallyfor moms walking through estrangement.

(01:10):
Maybe you realize you're not searchingfor pain, but the pain finds you.
Why?
Because maybe you're seeing thatpicture of a three generation photo that
reminds you of what you're missing withyour daughter and your granddaughter,
or your son and your grandson,siblings, group hug photo, like these
types of photos that you're seeing.

(01:33):
We have to remember that people are notnecessarily posting this to harm you.
But when you hear someone say,I'm really grateful for my mom.
It just puts salt in the wound.
It's not the person who posted,it's not their fault, and
it's not jealousy, it's grief.
It feels like jealousy in the moment.
I totally remember that feeling.

(01:55):
It's like this longing to havethis, family event or family
peace that maybe you once had.
this ache is really invisible.
It's invisible of what once wasor what you had hoped would be.
And that's why these triggers canbe so exhausting and they build
up over time draining your energy.

(02:17):
Number two is the comparison trap.
You know, sometimes as womentoo, we measure ourselves against
what we see, I think we alldid that when we were younger.
I'm hoping you're not doing that anymore.
But if you are, you're measuringyourself against a myth.
And that also comes.
Into play when we'retalking about our families.
No family is perfect, I've talkedabout this many times, but social

(02:39):
media is that curated version of life.
It's the highlight reelthat people want you to see.
People don't post about the argumentsthat they have or the coaching or the
therapy they're getting, The hard nights.
They post the vacations, the milestones,the reconciliations, and when you're
in pain, your brain fills in theblanks with stories that hurt you.

(03:00):
You're attaching a story to eachone of those photos that you see.
You might be thinking, oh, thatmust be such a close family.
What did I do wrong?
Or, she looks so loved.
Why don't my kids wanna be around me?
But You're comparing your life tosomething that is not a full picture.

(03:20):
It's their highlight reel.
Your story, just like theirstory, but you're not seeing it.
All of our stories are layered.
They're raw, they're real, andthat's what makes it powerful.
You haven't failed, you're human.
Have you made mistakes?
Maybe haven't we all?
You know, if this message speaks toyou and you're ready to prioritize your

(03:42):
healing, I offer a discovery call tosee if my coaching is the right fit
for you, and spots are limited, soplease only sign up when you're serious
about prioritizing your wellbeing.
Embracing your growth andinvesting in your healing.
click the link, in the shownotes or the description below.
Number three is posts that hurt.

(04:06):
So what happens when your childposts something or doesn't?
This is where it can cut deep too, right?
Social media where your adultchild posts something like cutting
off toxic people saved my life.
Maybe that's their header on their postthat you just recently saw, or they
post a tribute to a new mother figure,a mentor type, or a mother-in-law,

(04:31):
or Maybe there's just silence.
There's no text on Mother's Day.
There's no birthday acknowledgement,and suddenly you're analyzing
every word or lack thereof.
Every post, every absence wherethey haven't showed up, they
haven't attended at something.
A holiday, an event.
But remember, a post doesn'ttell the whole story.

(04:54):
You don't have to live on the edgewaiting for your child's validation
or fearing misinterpretation becausetheir online choices are not your truth.
And frankly, I don't even believe it'stheir truth, not a hundred percent.
There's no way nobody speaksthe truth on social media.

(05:15):
I try really hard, to be really honest.
I've actually walked away from socialmedia quite a bit and I run a business,
but it's not real life.
and we need to realize that.
I shared this recently with thegroup I had at my last retreat.
I used to sit there looking atsocial media, trying to find my

(05:36):
daughter, trying to figure outwho these people were that she.
had allowed to take heraway from our family.
It wasn't a good crowd.
I would sit there with my wine bottleand I would sit there with my laptop
and spend hours upon hours, upon hoursstewing and crying over what I was
seeing when I couldn't change a thing.

(06:00):
That brings me to number
four, which is curating your peace.
You have to protect your heart.
Online.
It's okay to log off.
It's okay to mute.
It's okay to unfollow or justtake a break without guilt.
You do not have to feel guilty for that.
It's wisdom, my friends.
It's wisdom because yourpiece matters more than their

(06:21):
social media updates, right?
Maybe if you still feel like you're notready to just cut it off completely.
Set some time limits for yourself, right?
Follow accounts that speaklife into you, not lies.
And that doesn't even just mean peoplethat you know, like friends and family,
but we're talking people that you mightlook up to that you don't even know and

(06:42):
you're never gonna meet in your life, butthey bring you down for whatever reason.
Figure out who those accounts areand delete them, Unfollow them.
I promise you, you're not gonna miss them.
It may feel weird for a few days.
surround yourself justlike you would in person.
You have to surround yourself onlinewith truth because healing is hard

(07:04):
enough without allowing some socialmedia algorithm to weigh in and
allow your feelings to be affectedby what you see or don't see.
So I hope that encourages you today.
I know this is a very real subjectthat a lot of you are dealing
with, so I hope that helped.
I will see you in the next video.
God bless.