Stop Letting Others CONTROL Your Emotions and Take Back Your Life!

Are you tired of feeling like someone else is in charge of your emotions—especially when it comes to your adult child? In this episode, I introduce you to a powerful concept inspired by Jefferson Fisher: The Remote vs. The Manual. You’ll learn how to stop reacting and start teaching others how to treat you with the respect and clarity you deserve. We’ll talk about emotional triggers, setting healthy boundaries, and building self-respect that protects your peace. If you’re navigating estrangement, conflict, or just feel emotionally overwhelmed, this episode will give you hope—and a plan.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Have you ever felt like someoneelse is controlling your emotions?
Almost like they're holding theremote to your heart, one text,
one conversation, and then suddenlythey're angry, they're hurt, they're
mad, or they shut down and block you.
So if you are dealing with the adultchild, your son or your daughter, and

(00:20):
it feels like you're living in reactionto them, or maybe you really are.
You wanna start livingout of your own peace.
Here's the truth, youcan take the remote back.
And today I am gonna show you how.

(00:43):
Before I get started, I justwanna mention I learned this
analogy from Jefferson Fisher.
I highly recommend you follow him onFacebook or Instagram, the remote.
Analogy is genius forcommunication, in my opinion.
He's a great, person to learn from inregards to communication for everybody.

(01:05):
So I have four points for you today,
Number one is I want you to startrecognizing the remote control trap.
when someone's behavior startsdictating your emotional state
and you're cognizant of it.
You become caught in what we callthe remote control trap, right?

(01:27):
So maybe your adult child is ignoring yourtexts and it devastates you, it's hurtful.
Or maybe they're lashing out and thenyou instantly feel defensive or guilty.
You didn't choose that emotion they did,when you realize that you're letting
someone else's actions control how youfeel, Then you can start to wake up to

(01:50):
the fact that you've given that person,in this case, your son or daughter.
too much emotional power.
the first step in noticing and reallypaying attention to this is who is
really holding my remote right now?
Am I or is someone else?
Number two is why you needa manual, not a remote.

(02:14):
love this analogy because quite honestly,instead of staying trapped in reactions,
it's time to take charge by creating amanual, it's just a clear, healthy guide,
That shows others how to treatyou, quote unquote boundaries.
Same thing.

(02:34):
A manual is not about beingcontrolling, it's about just
setting clear expectations.
It's about communicating your needsin a healthy way, communicating your
limits and your values, But you'recommunicating it with love and strength.
It's not this, when you hand someone amanual, obviously this is just an analogy.

(02:57):
This is what you're telling them.
You're saying, here is how Iexpect to be treated if you
want a relationship with me.
that shift changes everything.
So if that is you and you are ready totake that emotional power back, but you're
not sure where to start, I invite you toschedule a discovery consultation with me.

(03:19):
It's not a coaching session, buta private call where we're gonna
talk about your situation and helpyou figure out what support option
would be the next best step for you.
So just remember, you donot have to do this alone.
you can check the show notes,the description and the link to
the discovery call is in there.
Number three is setting boundariesthat protect your peace.

(03:43):
So remember, we talk about boundariesa lot, boundaries are not about
shutting people out or punishing them.
It's about protecting theparts of you that are sacred.
Your peace, your heart, your self-worth,and it might be as simple as.
Or sound like, you know, I'm happy to talkwhen we can be respectful to each other,

(04:05):
or I will not stay in this conversationthat turns into yelling or name calling.
And you do it in peace, you do it calmly.
You don't match their anger.
You don't match any of that energybecause when you're calm and
consistently, that's the key word here.
This is not a one-time thing.
You have to consistentlyhold those boundaries.

(04:28):
You are teaching others howto treat you and that it's
non-negotiable and that's okay.
We all should do this.
And not just with our kids.
Think of how healthy theserelationships you have in your life.
If everyone did this, it would be amazing.
It would be amazing.
number four is living like youbelieve you deserve respect.

(04:53):
I know a lot of you don'tthink you deserve it.
Because you're beating yourselfup over something that happened,
And the self-respect isn'tjust about what you say.
It's about how you treatyourself day in, day out.
What are you telling yourself?
What are the words in your mind thatyou just keep repeating, repeating,
repeating, and you're not changing thosewords, you're not changing your actions.

(05:13):
But when you start taking care ofyour mind, your body, your spirit.
You reinforce to yourself andhonestly everyone else, that you are
worth kindness, patience, and love.
And that just might mean givingyourself permission to rest.

(05:33):
It might mean journaling your emotionsinstead of bottling them up, because
like a bottle, you fill it up,and then the cork's gonna pop off.
And that's when we have fights.
It might mean leaning intoyour faith instead of fear.
You can't have both at the same time.

(05:54):
It's impossible.
I want you to think about that and themore you live like you deserve respect,
the less likely you're going to hand overthe emotional remote to anyone ever again.
So powerful.
So just remember, you are notpowerless, you are not stuck.
You have a God-given right to guardyour peace, to protect your heart, and

(06:16):
to guide your life with strength andwisdom and love, it's time to take back
that remote and take back your life.
I hope that helps you today.
I will see you in the next episode.
God bless.