What Your Adult Child REALLY Needs From You (It's Not What You Think!)

What Your Adult Child REALLY Needs From You (It's Not What You Think!) Have you ever wondered what a truly healthy relationship with your adult child looks like? Maybe you’re navigating estrangement or struggling to reconnect, and you’re not sure how much involvement is too much—or if you’re overstepping.

In this episode, we’ll cover the four key elements of a strong, balanced relationship with your grown child:
✔️ Mutual Respect & Independence – Understanding your child’s autonomy while honoring your own.
✔️ Open, Judgment-Free Communication – Creating a safe space for honest conversations.
✔️ Support Without Overstepping – Learning how to help without making them dependent.
✔️ Shifting to an Adult-to-Adult Relationship – Releasing control and embracing connection.

💬 Let’s talk in the comments: What’s one thing you’ve learned about having a healthy relationship with your adult child?

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You spent years raising your kids, lovingthem, and sacrificing for them, but now
that they're grown, where do you fit in?
Are you still needed or haveyou just become an afterthought?
If you've ever wrestled with thesequestions, you are not alone.
And today we're gonna break down whata truly healthy relationship with your
adult child looks like, so you canmove forward with peace and connection.

(00:23):
what does a healthy relationshipwith them look like?
What do they need from us?
I don't know about you, but I alwayswondered, what does that relationship
actually look like once they're grown?
So maybe you are navigatingestrangement or you're struggling
to reconnect and you just don'tknow what that balanced is anymore.
Many moms ask me, what should I expect?

(00:45):
How much involvement is too much?
Am I overstepping?
Am I doing too much?
Am I not doing enough?
All the million dollar questions right?
So today I wanna break it down intofour different elements of what
I believe a healthy parent adultchild relationship could look like.
So let's dive in.

(01:08):
First off is mutual respect.
That is number one in any relationshipthat you have with anybody, and a
strong relationship is built on that.
It's built on that mutualrespect, not guilt or obligation.
your adult child is now very muchtheir own person, responsible for their
own life, their own choices, even ifthey're not the choices you would make.

(01:31):
And boundaries goes both ways.
As many of you know.
Many of you have kids that have.
Come to you with some boundaries they dohave the right to set them, and so do you.
you might be asking yourself, am Irespecting them with their autonomy?
Are they respecting me?
By setting these boundaries, I say yes,as long as it's done in a loving way.

(01:53):
Remember, boundaries are notmeant to keep people out.
They're meant to keep, people in andhaving that mutual respect, and many
times with our kids, those differentboundaries, get clouded because
we're not doing it the right way.
We have a lot of emotionin this relationship.
Way more than probably any otherrelationship you might have.

(02:14):
And so we have to keep that in mind.
Number two is judgment free communication.
We wanna have open communication withthem, and a healthy relationship isn't
about walking on eggshells, which Iknow a lot of you, actually use that
terminology with me and I completelyunderstand it as I've done that myself.
But it's about honest, safe conversationswithout fear of judgment, right?

(02:39):
Your child should feel comfortablecoming to you without worrying
about being lectured or dismissed.
Those two things right there, beinglectured or dismissed, will push them
away, I believe further than anything,and even if their version of the past
differs from yours, a healthy relationshipcan allow space for both perspectives.

(03:01):
we have to understand that you have to bein a. Mature relationship with two people,
the maturity level has to be there.
depending on the age of your child or whathas happened in their life, they may not
be at that place where they're going tobe able to say, oh, mom, I understand.
I understand where you're coming from.
It doesn't match mine.

(03:21):
But, I respect your, your thoughts.
At some point, your kids will get there,but they might not be there right now.
We need to listen tounderstand, not to respond.
And we've all heard that.
We've all heard that advice milliondifferent places, but that one shift
can transform your relationshipin ways like nothing else.

(03:45):
So moms, when is the last timeyou truly took time for yourself?
if you are feeling overwhelmed or longingfor connection or simply need a break to
breathe, I have something special for you.
You've probably heard me share thisbefore, but we have an Empowered Mom
Retreat on April 26th and 27th, just nextmonth in beautiful Ellenton, Florida.

(04:07):
So if you are local or are interestedin this transformative weekend.
This is designed to help youheal, connect, and find support
and love that you deserve.
And so you're gonna connectwith myself and other moms who
truly understand your journey.
this is going to be a safe judgment-freespace where we're gonna have discussions,
we're gonna build meaningful friendships,and you're going to experience the power

(04:31):
of encouragement maybe for the first time.
we are going to have a blast.
just wanna let you know thatspots are filling up fast.
if you are interested, you can reachout to us at [e-mail].
I will put all of that inthe show notes as well.
But just remember thatthis is a time for you.

(04:51):
No responsibilities, nopressure, just peace.
So I can't wait to see you there.
Number three is supportwithout overstepping.
You know, as moms, our instinct isto always help protect, fix, right?
But a healthy relationship meansbalancing that support with
respect for their independence.
'cause remember, we're talkingabout adult kids here, we're

(05:11):
not talking about teenagers.
And so your son or daughter might come toyou for advice, but that doesn't always
mean they want you to solve the problem.
And so I want you to ask yourself, am Ioffering support in a way that empowers
them, makes them feel independent?
Or is it being answered in a way thatmakes them more dependent on me, which

(05:31):
is exactly what we wanna get away from.
And number four is shifting theparent child relationship to an
adult, to adult relationship,
That's one of the biggeststruggles that I still see.
and we wanna see them asthis little child you raised.
the goal here obviously is totransition from an authority figure

(05:52):
to an adult to adult relationship.
But what is that based on?
It's based on trust.
It's based on connection, and ahealthy relationship is chosen.
It's not forced.
connection needs to come from love, notguilt or obligation, like I said earlier.
So I just wanna say that again,a healthy relationship is chosen.

(06:13):
It's not forced.
We cannot force someone to be inrelationship with us, even our child.
And so these are four tips that I hopethis helps you today and just kind of,
you know, take a, take a scan over, yourconversations with your kids and so forth.
And you might be able tosee where you can improve.
I know I certainly had todo the same, so no judgment.
I hope that helped you and we'llsee you in the next episode.

(06:36):
God bless.