Why Did My Adult Child ABANDON Me Without an Explanation?

Have you ever asked yourself, Why did my adult child abandon me without an explanation? You’re not alone. So many mothers are left grieving a silent estrangement—no goodbye, no closure, just a heartbreaking absence.

In this episode, we’ll talk about why adult children often avoid honest conversations, how your brain fills in the blanks with painful assumptions, and—most importantly—how you can begin to heal even when you don’t get the answers you desperately long for. Estrangement leaves a wound that no one else can see, but you don’t have to stay stuck in the pain. Let’s talk about how to release the shame, reclaim your peace, and begin a healing journey rooted in truth, faith, and self-compassion. If you’ve been abandoned by your adult child and don’t know how to move forward, this episode is for you. 💛

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
They didn't yell, they didn't explain.

(00:02):
They just left.
And now you're the mom.
You're stuck with this silence and aheartful of questions completely normal.
But if you're that mom trying tomake sense of why your adult child
abandoned you without a word,this message is for you today.
I have four points I wanna sharewith you in regards to this.
And what I've experienced and also inall the clients that I have helped.

(00:25):
So let's dive in.
Number one is the pain ofthe unfinished stories.
when your adult child walks away withoutwarning, that pain is indescribable,
You are left reliving the memories.
desperate for clarity.

(00:45):
trying to figure it all out.
when there's no final conversation,just this door that quietly closed on
you, that's the kind of loss that isinvisible to the world, but not to you.
other people are not going tounderstand this, Because It makes
no logical sense for any of us.
But want you to know that even if youdidn't get closure from them, you can

(01:07):
give yourself the compassion and carethat you've been waiting for from them.
you need to give it to yourself becauseyour story doesn't end in silence.
It has to evolve in strength.
And you may be thinking, Idon't wanna do that right now.
And I don't blame you.
But at the end of the day, the onlyway you are ever gonna get any closure.
And I do believe that you willhear from your son or daughter

(01:29):
again, I don't know when it'll be.
That is a battle that is not yours, andwe're gonna talk about that in a minute.
Your job right now is taking careof you, are you still searching
for that reason or the moment?
That might explain it all.
Most moms are, and you may not get thatanswer for a while, but we have to be
able to move forward in the process.

(01:49):
Number two is.
This is a big one.
Their silence is not always about you.
And to a mom who has given everything,raised their children, been the
best mom that they could be.
That doesn't make any sense.
And so we think, oh, wemust have done something.
it's human nature to take thatsilence as a personal attack.

(02:11):
many of your sons and daughterssimply cannot face their own pain.
And for them, avoiding a conversationis easier than confronting an old
wound, even if it leaves you an agonyand that does not make their actions.
Okay?
But I hope it can help youlet go of some of the shame.

(02:33):
And the thing is, is as a mom,you may not know what it is
that they are in pain about.
You may or may not know.
I wanna let you know that thiswhole silent situation is not
a verdict on your motherhood.
It is not a verdict on whatkind of a mom you were.
Their avoidance speaks totheir fear, not your failure.

(02:55):
Let me say that again.
Their avoidance to you speaksto their fear, not your failure.
You still have value and you still matter.
I want you to think about that.
Could their silence be a reflectionof their internal struggle, not your
worth, but their own self-worth?
if you are tired of feeling stuckin confusion and shame, let's talk.

(03:20):
I have a discovery call.
It's a one-on-one space foryou and I to explore your story
a little bit and your pain.
But it is reserved for moms who areready to begin a coaching process.
if that's not you right now, keepthe link for the future when you are
contemplating and wanting to learn more.
Because this is not about fixingthem, it's about looking in the
mirror and focusing and learning aboutyourself and navigating what that

(03:45):
future road is right now, whetherit's whether you're with them or not.
You have to feel whole again.
the link for the discovery callis in the show notes below.
Number three is thestories that we make up.
How many of you have made upsome stories in your mind?
Some may have been real lifestories, but I'm sure we added to it.

(04:05):
Those hurt the most because whenyou don't have any answers and your
mind starts filling in the blanks,those blanks turn into heavy burdens
that keep you up at night, thatgive you the ruminating thoughts.
Or you may hear thoughts like, Iruined everything, or I must have
failed as a mother, or, I shouldhave never said this or that.

(04:26):
Those thoughts aren't truth.
They're trauma echoing through your heart.
yes, there are things that wecould very clearly say, wow, I
wish I would've never said that.
I wish I wouldn't have done that.
'cause you're human andevery mom has some of those.
just because your mind whispers paindoesn't mean it's speaking truth.

(04:47):
So be very careful know.
Know what voices is in your headbecause we have to interrupt that
story and speak some grace overyourself, regardless of the truth.
So I would encourage you to askyourself, what story are you
believing about yourself that mightbe rooted in pain, not reality?
I think we all have them.
So I want you to think about that today.

(05:09):
And lastly, you know what?
You can heal without an apology.
Your healing does not requiretheir permission or participation.
You can choose peace without aconversation, and you can write that
new chapter without their explanation.
It's not easy, but it's possiblebecause you are allowed to

(05:29):
heal for you, not for them.
I want to encourage you today thatthere is a future out there waiting for
you with joy and healing and strength.
No matter what they choose, nomatter how long this takes, you
have to be okay in the waiting.
So I want you to stop waitingfor their apology and start
claiming your own healing.

(05:50):
I hope that helps you today.
we'll see you in the next episode.
God bless.