Will My Estranged Child Ever Come Back to Me?

If you're asking yourself this question in the quiet moments, you're not alone. In this heartfelt episode, I'm sharing what I’ve learned from coaching hundreds of moms walking through the pain of estrangement—some who are still waiting, and others who have experienced reconciliation.

We’ll explore what your child’s silence might actually mean, why it’s not always about you (but still hurts deeply), and what kind of posture can open the door to restoration. You’ll also hear real examples from moms who shifted their focus from chasing their child to healing themselves—and how God began moving in powerful ways.

💛 This is a message of hope, faith, and clarity—whether your child comes back or not. You don’t have to wait for their return to start returning to yours

READY TO TAKE YOUR FIRST STEP? Book a discovery call for a consultation.👇 Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/sallyharris-discoverycall/30min

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I have seen it too manytimes to doubt it anymore.
Hearts can soften, doors can open, andeven the most distant relationships
can find their way back to healing.
And if you're the mom that ever whisperedthe words, will they ever come back?
This message is for you.
You're not the only mom.
Wondering if the silencewill last forever.

(00:20):
some kids say they just need a break.
Others go.
No contact with no warning,which is leaving you stuck with
more questions than answers.
Today I wanna talk about what'sactually possible and what you can
do in the waiting that will changeeverything, whether or not your child
comes back tomorrow, in a year, orwhenever that's going to be, because

(00:41):
I do believe in hope and faith.
And more importantly, Ibelieve in your healing today.
I have four topics for you in regardsto this, so let's dive right in.
Number one is what theirsilence might actually mean.
We've talked about this a lot, butI want you to remember that when

(01:01):
your child goes silent, I knowit feels like personal rejection.
It feels like abandonment.
It feels like punishment, right?
It is unfair of course, but often silenceis a sign of an internal chaos within
them, and so many estranged adult childrenare often emotionally overwhelmed.

(01:24):
They're unsure how tohandle a confrontation.
They might be afraid of vulnerabilityand pulling away is feeling
safer than facing the pain.
You and I both know that's notthe answer, but pulling away is
feeling safer than facing the pain.
silence does not mean never again.

(01:45):
Sometimes it means I don'tknow how to do this right now.
for those of you with a strong faith,always remember God is always at work.
Even in the silence.
Especially in the silence.
So while you may see nothing,you may see stillness.
He may be storing somethingdeep inside your child's heart.

(02:05):
Seeds are being planted, notnecessarily from you, but from others.
And you need to trust that the unseenas just as sacred as the seen, Right.
Number two, why it's not always about you.
So some of you are gonna understandwhat I'm talking about when I say this,
but so many moms jump to self-blame.

(02:27):
What did I do wrong?
There has to be something, and notto say that there's nothing, right?
Not to say that we didn't do anything,but the result of having them walk away
doesn't always mean it was about you.
Sometimes they walk away becauseof their own failures, because

(02:47):
they have unresolved pain.
Whether it's a mental healthissue, identity struggles, or
pressure from outside voices,
your child may be protecting themselvesfrom something internal, not external.
They might be protecting themselvesfrom themselves, not you, but even so

(03:10):
that doesn't erase your pain, right?
It doesn't make it easier to be cut off.
It doesn't.
make the pain go away, but it givesyou permission to stop carrying
the full weight of what went wrong.
You know, you can beloved without condition.
You need to love without condition.
Unconditional love, of course, welove our kids, but you can have

(03:33):
love and wisdom at the same time.
You can let go of guilt andstill trust in the healing.
All at the same time.
if this is hitting home for youand you're ready to stop walking
through this alone, I invite youto book a discovery call with me.
You know, spots are limited, so pleasesign up when you are serious about
managing this and prioritizing yourselfbecause that is what needs to happen

(03:57):
to get you through this period oftime, regardless of how long it is.
When you're ready, the link to thediscovery call is in the show notes.
Number three is what reallymakes reconciliation possible.
You know what I can promiseyou, it's not chasing them.
It's normal to want to fix it.

(04:17):
texting, overexplaining,apologizing a million times,
trying to repair the damage.
But reconciliation doesn'tusually come from chasing.
It comes from peace.
It comes from having a posture of peace.
In my coaching group, I've seen somany moms change their lives, not by
doing more in regards to their kids,but standing in this new posture.

(04:40):
one of the moms said to me recently,I'll be here when they're ready.
And so she prepared that place.
She prepared herself, her health,and a few months later, her daughter
came back with an open heart.
Now, does it always work that way?
Within just a few months.
No, but I just wannatell you what's possible.

(05:03):
You know, another mom startedfocusing on her self-care, joined,
one-on-one coaching, and really startedbeginning to heal pretty deeply.
her son told her, you sound differentnow, and that's why I feel safe to call.
That's why these conversationsare going better.
You sound different now.
in that case, maybe she wasputting less pressure on him.

(05:25):
Maybe this is, you know, this was a momnavigating the ins and outs of the current
relationship, wasn't fully estranged.
And as I know all of you are not.
But God does honor surrender,and we've talked about this a
lot and I will continue to talkabout it 'cause it's so important.
He's not asking you to fixyour child, he's inviting you
to trust him with your child.

(05:45):
So being emotionally steady,being physically healthy.
Navigating your other relationships, notreacting to anything in panic, right?
Rather let's focus on the peace andcreate the safe space so when they
do come back, it's not a guilt trap.

(06:05):
That's the last thing you want it to be.
And you get to grow while you wait.
And I know this is nothing anyof us would've signed up for,
but you will grow while you wait.
If you do the work, Ipromise you, you will.
And God is not a respecter of persons.
if he did it for me and for the othermoms that I work with, I've walked with
so many moms who have navigated thisand come back together with their kids.

(06:28):
He can absolutely do it for you.
And lastly, number fouris will they come back?
there's no way for me to knowwhen your adult child will return,
what that's gonna look like.
Some do after a few weeks, sometake years, and some may not return
in the same way you had hoped.
Here's the deeper truth.
You do not have to wait for theirreturn to start returning to you.

(06:53):
your healing your peace andyour life, are not on pause.
They cannot be paused.
They need to be going full throttle ahead.
And I want you to ask yourself,if your child walked back in
tomorrow, who would they find?
You know, for those of you knowthe story of the prodigal son.
He didn't chase his son.

(07:14):
he was ready for him when he returned.
Having that posture of love,without bitterness, in a posture
of readiness without control.
he was trusting that God was writinga story that he couldn't see.
when my daughter was gone, I usedto think of that story all the time.
'cause I want you to know thisis not the end of your journey.

(07:37):
God's still moving behind the scenes andwhether they come back this week, this
month, this year, you can still livethis full life of purpose and peace.
I want you to stay hopeful.
I want you to keep healing and staygrounded in who God is because he
doesn't give up, he doesn't change.
We're the ones that change.
We're the ones that walk away.
I encourage you in that today.

(07:57):
I hope that helps and I'llsee you in the next episode.
God bless.