Episode #19 - KATU Paul Linnman - you are my Exploding Whale Hero!

What kind of person willingly traps ferrets in their pants? Find out as we explore the bizarre and frankly unsettling world of ferret legging—a hobby that's as controversial as it is peculiar. We question the ethics and sanity behind this practice, sparing no judgment for those who subject our furry friends to such antics without their consent. Expect a mix of humor and critique as we debate who really has to endure more—the humans or the ferrets?

On a lighter note, brace yourself for laughter as we dive into the absurd universe of news bombing, where humor collides with dry news broadcasts. We take a nostalgic trip down memory lane, commemorating the 40th anniversary of the infamous exploding whale incident in Florence, Oregon. Through witty commentary and archival clips, we relive the chaos and comedy of a whale explosion gone wrong. From flying blubber to seagull scavengers, this episode promises to be a hilarious blend of history, humor, and head-scratching hobbies. Don't forget to connect with us on Instagram and Facebook at Scotty Don't X for more outrageous content and updates!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:18):
You can't handle the truth, the humanity of strange
hobbies and stranger interests.
No judgment here.
Well, except for the stuff thatneeds to be downvoted, I'm
judging the heck out of that.
This is part two.
Okay, I am not happy about thisone.
Something called ferret leggingEnduring having live ferrets

(00:41):
trapped in your pants.
So I guess they're tighteningoff the belt and the pant cuffs
and having the ferrets runaround in there trying to get
out, scratching them.
I think it's the ferrets whoare having to endure being
trapped in the humans' pants.
Again, there's no consent forthis.

(01:04):
Did you go ask Malfacent theferret?
Hey, do you mind if I shove youin my pants and then you run
around and we say how much Itolerate it?
No, you did not.
So I hope you get a bittenbloody nose for that one.
Okay, something else thatactually sounds kind of cool

(01:29):
News bombing, Interjectinghumorous or absurd comments into
news broadcasts.
So I'm thinking you take aboring or dry newscast and then
you put clips into it.
Or maybe you take a historicalbroadcast.
I know I want to do this withPaul Lindman and the whale story

(01:55):
from the Oregon coast.
See if I can pull this off.
Step one let's play a littleclip about the history of the
story to set it up it is.
It's a very special day.
It is the 40th anniversary ofthe exploding whale down in
Florence, Oregon, when a dreadsperm whale washed up on shore

(02:17):
and the Oregon HighwayDepartment decided they'd use
dynamite to blow it up.
Well, that was a great idea.
Great idea until it wasn't.
Now let's news bomb theoriginal story.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
It had to be said, the Oregon State Highway
Division not only had a whale ofa problem on its hands, it had
a stinking whale of a problem.
What to do with one 45-foot,8-ton whale dead on arrival on
the beach?

Speaker 1 (02:48):
near Florence.
So Paul Lindman from KATU, Ipresume in the 1970s
all-you-can-eat seafood buffetsweren't a thing.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
It had been so long since a whale had washed up in
Lane County nobody couldremember how to get rid of one.
In selecting its battle plan,the highway division decided the
carcass couldn't be buriedbecause it might soon be
uncovered.
It couldn't be cut up and thenburied because nobody wanted to
cut it up, and it couldn't beburned so dynamite.
It was some 20 cases or a halfton of it.
The hope was that the long-deadPacific gray whale would be

(03:23):
almost disintegrated by theblast and that any small pieces
still around after the explosionwould be taken care of by
seagulls and other scavengers.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
I'm a scavenger and I'm supposed to eat the human
leftovers.
Yum yum.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Indeed, the seagulls had been standing nearby all day
.
As everything was being madeready.
We asked George Thornton, thehighway engineer in charge of
the project, for his finalobservation.
Well, I'm confident that it'llwork.
The only thing is, we're notsure just exactly how much
explosives it'll take todisintegrate this thing.

(03:59):
So the scavengers seagulls andcrabs and whatnot can clean it
up.
The dynamite was buriedprimarily on the leeward side of
the big mammal, so as most ofthe remains would be blown
toward the sea.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
Oh, that's going to work out real well.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Taters and land blubber newsmen shortly become
land blubber newsmen.
With a blast blasted blubberbeyond all believable bounds.
Hey, look at that.
All right, fred, you can takeyour hands out of your ears.

(04:36):
Here comes Casey's up to thetop.
Our cameras stopped rollingimmediately after the blast.
The humor of the entiresituation suddenly gave way to a
run for survival, as hugechunks of whale blubber fell
everywhere.
Pieces of meat passed high overour heads, while others were
falling at our feet.
The dunes were rapidlyevacuated as spectators escaped
both the falling debris and theoverwhelming smell.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, there's no more news bombing to be done with
that story.
The Oregon Department ofTransportation did a nice job.
Thank you for listening to theScotty Don't X Show, episode 19.
Feel free to reach out onInstagram and Facebook at Scotty
Don't X.
One word all crammed togetherand I will see you next episode.