July 26, 2025 • 21 mins
THAT'S RIGHT.
We are doing a GOAL SETTING EPISODE.
What off it? Shut up and get some goals.
These are all about my goals with stand up comedy, with art and some huge rants about Australian culture.
00:00 - Introduction to Vomit Quest
02:23 - The Comedy Vomit Challenge Explained
06:14 - Sci-Fi Comedy Dreams
09:29 - Battling Tall Poppy Syndrome
14:42 - Embracing Creative Vulnerability
19:33 - Closing Thoughts and Comedy Plug
HERE IS SOME GOOD TEXT FOR SEO:
The quest for impossible creative goals shapes our artistic journey far more profoundly than whether we actually achieve them. Embracing audacious ambitions like making comedy so funny it induces vomiting can transform how we approach our work and overcome creative barriers.
• Setting seemingly unreachable goals creates internal motivation that pulls us forward
• Australian tall poppy syndrome creates fear of being seen trying or standing out
• The concept of "integrated thought" helps process and digest our deepest creative ideas
• Many creators sabotage themselves by setting up environments designed for failure
• Today's AI-dominated world makes authentic human expression more valuable than ever
• Finding the courage to express your unique voice means accepting all parts of yourself
• It's better to fail at something you genuinely want to do than succeed at something meaningless
• Vulnerability and showing your "soul" connects most powerfully with audiences
Send me Fan Mail! It could be anything, we are desperate at this point.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sharam Namdarian (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Sharam Namdarian
podcast.
I am Sharam Namdarian and thisis the podcast.
Yes, we've changed the nameagain back to the original title
of the Sharam Namdarian podcast.
I did a vote online.
People seem to like the, the.
I'm not sure if I do, but I'mjust going to try that.
Hat on again, let's see whathappens.
This episode is called VomitQuest and if I could make a
(00:26):
little fun animation, I'll ithere.
So three, two, one and vomitquest.
Uh, but, um, this is a goalsetting episode.
So this episode is all aboutsetting goals.
I want to share my intent withyou so that way, when you see
them happen, you'll be like, ohmy god, he did it.
That's crazy.
But this idea of this episodeis also that you follow along.
So if you have any goals orthings you want to share, maybe
some reflections, please commentthem in the video.
(00:49):
If you're watching this onYouTube the video version you
know there's comment section, sodo that, don't be afraid.
Or, if you are afraid, beafraid, you're your own, I don't
need to, I'm not your coach.
But also, if you are on the uh,the Insta, um, spotify, spotify
or Apple podcasts or whateverthere is a link in the
(01:09):
description, a fan mail linkwhere you can.
You can drop a fan mail andthat will send me a text message
directly or look like a textmessage to you.
I'll just have a database causeI'm very fancy like that and I
can read your message in thenext episode if that was what
you would like.
And if that's not what you'dlike, you know what?
Just cower in your little boots, cower, cower like this, the,
(01:32):
the something that you are.
So this episode is called vomitquest for one particular reason.
In comedy that is one of myquests and I'll explain what
that is in a second.
But this episode, the premiseof this episode, is very simply
put, it is a goal setting thing.
So what are things I would liketo achieve, what are things I
(01:53):
think should happen?
But to preface it of that, Imeditate a lot.
You'll hear me talk about thison the podcast quite a bit, that
I do meditate quite a lot, thatthere are these ideas and
things that come to me while I'mmeditating.
That was one of the reasons whyI started stand-up comedy.
(02:13):
But the reason why I want tobring up meditation first before
talking about the podcast ishealing.
Meditation to me is not justabout resolving wounds, but it's
about integrating thought.
Now, what is integrated thought?
Integrated thought, to me, iswhere you've actually digested
(02:35):
the fact that you've thought athing, and so you no longer have
to rethink the thing.
It becomes part of a new whole.
That is who you are.
So you have ideas and moreoften than not, these ideas are
hard to do, not because they'retoo big or too complicated or
too whatever, but more becauseyou haven't actually integrated,
(02:57):
you haven't actually processedwhat the fuck it is you actually
want to do.
So I've got some crazy ideasthat I want to share.
Some I'm going to only sharethe idea of it, and some of them
I'm not going to share theactual thing.
But the first and foremost, whenit comes to my quest with
stand-up comedy, is to craftjokes that are so good and this
(03:19):
might be an impossible goal, butI like impossible goals so good
that they do elicit a gagreflex or, the higher goal, a
vomit reflex.
So that would be crazy.
How funny does a thing have tobe in order for it to be so
(03:40):
funny that someone vomits?
Now I shared this with someoneand they were like yeah, you
could go to an old folks home.
You could go to a place youcould go to a uh uh, acid reflux
clinic.
You could go to places whereyou know you just feed them a
heavy meal and then do comedystuff like that where the where
the situation is that morelikely they're going to vomit.
And I and I laughed and I waslike, yeah, set your standards
low.
You know so.
(04:08):
The low, you know.
So.
The reason why I brought up thewhole process of, like,
integrative thought is that forme, what I love is impossible
goals, impossible tasks, thingsthat are so insane that they
inspire thought.
And maybe it's because Istruggle with some thoughts that
I need something that's socrazy that it's like, well, I,
(04:29):
you know, maybe, but the goalpulls me.
The goal pulls me.
The goal pulls me so much thatwhen I see things that are like,
oh, that that's funny, it'slike how could it be so funny
that people vomit?
They're laughing so hard thatthey vomit.
(04:49):
Now I asked AI this because Icouldn't Google it.
I asked AI has there been thecase?
And of course, the currentstate of AI is that they
gaslight you.
They're like, yeah, like youknow, you look real hard, like
there's been some anecdotes.
But there's been some anecdotes, but there's been no specific
evidence of either a joke or aseries of jokes that are
recorded that will make peoplevomit, and that, to me, is
(05:14):
insane, right?
How can I be the first personto have it recorded that the
joke makes people vomit?
And who cares?
Who cares if someone else seesthis and they go?
That's my quest now, now, andI'm going to do it, and they do
do it and they beat me to it.
Who cares?
The level of artistry, the levelof sophistication, the level of
understanding that you willhave to have to achieve that
(05:36):
that's not just laughter, that'snot just killing, that's not
just crushing, that is a levelabove that, where the
physiological response is somuch that it hurts that your
body is literally at anemotional level, rejecting
something I find vomit.
When you have an emotionalhealing and you feel like you
need to vomit, it's becauseyou're literally rejecting
(05:57):
aspects of yourself or you'rerejecting aspects of life.
You're trying to push out,you're trying to let go.
So to elicit a response sopowerful that that is the
ultimate goal is such aninspiring thing for me.
It puts into context quite alot of the other activities that
I would like to do.
The other thing is, yeah,there's like games and stuff I
(06:18):
want to make.
That sounds fun.
One of the other things is mypartner and I were watching a
show recently and it inspired ashow of my own, like an idea.
I don't want to share too muchabout it, but it would be an
insane sci-fi comedy.
I don't want to throw anythingmore out there, but I'm coming
up with the ideas now and I'msharing it, uh, with certain
(06:42):
people and they're like, oh,I've survived.
I only shared it with mypartner partner, but I wanted it
to sound vague because in thefuture I feel like I'll share it
with more people and they'd belike, oh, interesting, but and
when I've shared it with mypartner, I'm like, oh, but is
this derivative?
And she's like, no, I don'tknow anything else.
That's like that.
And what I have in my brain isa very advanced world building
(07:07):
brain.
I've spent my whole lifestudying Warhammer, looking at
Warhammer, making games beingthis sort of thing where I
create a world where I answerquestions.
I'm let down by TV shows thatcan't answer simple questions
that are simple for me but arecomplex maybe for their writer.
So maybe that's a point whereI'm like I need to actually
start making my own shows, butto have an incredibly and this
(07:30):
is the problem here to have anincredibly realistic, looking,
dare I say, sci-fi comedy, it'sgonna the one that I would like
to make.
Like, if you've ever seen theshow Foundation, one thing I
really like about that is thecosmic scale of the show.
It's not that great.
Me and my partner love to watchit.
To hate on it, to be honest.
(07:51):
There's like stuff that justmakes us mad about the show, so
angry, but the other parts thatare so good keep watching it.
Uh, but I I love the grandscale of that and in order to do
that, I need a high budget.
So this is why I'm putting thison the the goal list bing of
something that, dare I say, is along-term goal.
(08:14):
And then you think like, okay,I'm gonna make this show.
That is a sci-fi comedy.
Where am I putting it on?
Am I putting it on Amazon,where the Amazon people can see
it?
Am I putting it on Binge, wherethe Binge people can see it?
Am I putting it on a platformwhere those specific platform
people can see it?
But those people have money, sothen they can help you fund the
show, but am I putting it onYouTube where anyone can see it?
(08:36):
So these are the questions.
These the show, but am Iputting it on YouTube where
anyone can see it?
So these are the questions.
These are the questions, Ithink, that are really important
to answer when you're creatingsomething like this.
And for the one time in my lifenow, dare I say, I'm finally
letting myself admit to myselfthat what I would call is a high
level of thought insanity,which is why a previous name of
this podcast was called Sharm'sInsane Podcast, because to me,
(08:57):
the word insane means insane inyour sanity, in your mind right,
where you've molded around inyour head so much that it's
insane because you've thoughtabout it.
It's in your mind right, andwhat I used to call insane about
myself in a bad way, I'mstarting to realize is insane
about myself in a good way.
(09:17):
But in order for me to finallylet this aspect of myself out,
there were some foundationalaspects of myself that needed to
be integrated, and one of thosethings is you know I've talked
about previously struggled withfeeling love.
Oh my God, did I struggle withfeeling love, holy cow, and I am
on a roll now, you know, I'mhealing.
(09:39):
The comedy shows that I've beendoing have all been
fundamentally rebirthing,nothing less than an egoic
rebirth that I am seeing that,yeah.
So, like I've got a rant hereand I know some comedians listen
to this podcast, and if you doand you think this is about you,
then it probably is, and I'vebeen a culprit of this in myself
(10:04):
.
But I do think it's a culture inAustralia that we have, dare I
say, an aggressive tall poppysyndrome.
We crap on and we argue withand we fight and we spite and we
(10:31):
gossip and we rumor mill and weattack all the people that are
above us in, dare I say, ahierarchy.
And I think when you are above,dare I say, someone and you are
being attacked, it's good to beable to transmute it, but what
that does is it actually makespeople struggle.
When they're at the bottom ofthe hierarchy, we become a crab
pot, we become this fear of tallpoppy and we then participate.
You know, if someone is not,dare I say, enough to be on a
(10:57):
show to perform, we're moreoften, as a community, more
likely to attack the show andattack the people emotionally
than take that as a challenge tobe better.
We should be challenging eachother to be better, to be more
potent, to be funnier, to beexcitinger, to be better at the
(11:18):
job that we have chosen to do,and rather than be afraid to be
seen trying and I'm starting tosee that more.
I think as a community we're soafraid to be seen as trying that
when we start out morespecifically, we're trying to be
seen safe.
We're trying to do it a safeplace, and let me let me throw
(11:40):
this out there there's nothingwrong with being trying to be
like safe, about doing a thing.
You're trying to developaspects of yourself.
So more often than not, they doto be, they need to be in
private, but so, but this is ais a fuck what.
What came first?
The meatball or the chicken?
What came first?
The, the meatball or the egg?
I don't know what the phrase is,but it is like I have become
(12:01):
painfully aware that at leastlet's look at the comedy scene
as a microcosm.
What we do is we try and cram agig wherever we can, because
we're trying to get the stagetime to, to become funnier.
(12:22):
But the gigs themselves are socrap because we're trying to
just cram them anywhere, becausewe're afraid of even trying,
we're afraid of failure sofucking much that we just put
them anywhere that that becomes,actually, ironically, more
(12:44):
harmful.
And then we go I'm not good.
It's like, yeah, you're notgood because this odds were
stacked against you.
We're not good, or you're notgood because you tried so hard.
You're telling yourself you'renot good so fucking much.
The only thing you'recomfortable with is failure.
And it's the frustrating thing,and I've been a symptom of this
(13:06):
, which is why I want to.
I'm talking about healing.
I'm talking about Vomit Quest.
I'm talking about these highgoals.
You know I keep hearing thephrase there was.
There's a video out there ofJerry Seinfeld who has this um.
He talks about um, someone toldhim the advice.
It's like someone told JerrySeinfeld the advice that it's
(13:27):
better to fail at precisely itis the thing you want to be
doing.
Or Jim Carrey's advice, wherehe says he saw his father fail
at something he didn't want tobe doing, so he might as well
fail at the thing you want to bedoing.
And the more I think about this,the more I think I've been so
emotionally stifled in my wholelife that I don't even know how
(13:51):
to answer that question.
Like great, let me fail at thething I want to do.
But what is the thing I want todo?
That's such a hard question toanswer, and I do think one of
the core reasons is thiszeitgeist, cultural trauma that
at least Australians have, thatI may be projecting onto
Australia.
If you don't agree, please usethe fan mail button.
(14:14):
Please use the comment section.
Let me know if I'm wrong.
But holy crap-a-moly.
I do think it's this thingwhere.
But holy crap-a-moly.
I do think it's this thing wherewe're so afraid of being seen
as trying because of how itmakes us stand out, that when we
stand out we might be attacked.
That if we were to fucking eventhink what we wanted to do,
(14:39):
that would be scary.
That if we tried to evenbelieve in the first place that,
yes, I want to make a sci-ficomedy, that's insane, that even
I want to.
I want to like read.
I'll read to you the scriptwhen it's done, like fuck it.
We'll do a reading, but it'swe're so afraid of being seen to
(15:00):
want and I have a, you knowlike why don't we?
It's not even believing inourselves.
The problem isn't that we don'tbelieve in ourselves.
The problem is that we don'teven know how.
We're so afraid of wanting that.
(15:21):
Then people who make gigs, wecram them into whatever cram
hole we can and we're like, if Ican make this good, I can make
anything good.
It's like, no, you can't polisha turd and, admittedly, you can
get good at shit gigs.
I think it's a skill set.
I finally stopped blamingmyself.
I finally stopped saying thatI'm not good because the odds
(15:42):
were stacked against me.
No, that's a different skillset to doing it in a clean, calm
room where everyone's justlistening.
It's just a different skill set.
There's nothing fucking wrong.
And so here's the thing wheredo you want to be?
Where do you want to be?
What do you want to do?
Where do you want to go?
What do you want to create?
To create.
(16:09):
We are in a phase right now inour human existence where we as
a society are craving meaningmore than ever.
We are craving consciousness asAI art and AI production gets
so much more prevalent.
We are craving a quantitativeeffort of thought, and the more
you can put that into a thing,the more powerful it will be.
And people, there's a song Ican't remember.
I heard it in Ikea.
(16:30):
People tend to listen when theyhear.
Your soul was a lyric of thatsong and they're hearing your
soul because you're not afraidto show it.
You're not afraid to show itand we're so afraid.
We're so afraid of expressingourselves that we make iterative
(16:50):
advances because we're ashamedof even having dreams.
I'm fed up, I'm annoyed.
The vomit quest I'm on.
I want it to be powerful.
I don't care if I don't evenget there.
(17:12):
Failure isn't as important asthe quest itself.
Sci-fi comedy not as importantas the quest itself Human
connection, loving one another,art.
(17:42):
I'm at a point in my journey nowwhere I'm becoming a wizard,
and it might not be so prevalenton stage yet because I have so
much, dare I say, trauma thatI'm processing that.
I watch myself create and thinkand then I watch myself on
stage sort of shooting myself onthe foot a little bit.
(18:06):
But with every performance Icut that down.
And now, since I've had thathealing I talked about in the
last episode, that is about howI found it so hard to feel loved
and if I thought I foundsomething hard, I was failing.
It's like just letting myselffind it hard is the most
empowering thing I have everdone.
(18:26):
It's hard.
It's hard to not self-sabotage,it's hard to not try and feel
safe, especially in a situationwhere we will constantly try and
feel safe but holy fuck-a-moly,where we will constantly try
(18:48):
and feel safe but holy fuck, ohmoly.
I'm posting more stand-up clipsthat are just I don't know, in
the future I'm going to thinkthey're dog shit.
Right now, I'm like it's funthat it happened.
I'm practicing audioengineering.
I'm practicing all the skillsets, even posting, even posting
a five-minute stand-up clipwith jokes that I'm trying out
just then and there for thefirst time.
(19:11):
And people will be like why thefuck did you post that?
I'm like, because I get it, Iget stuff out of it.
Maybe 20 people watch it Great,in the future that'll be 20
million.
Great, I can delete them at anytime.
What have I got to lose?
I'm going to die one day andthat'll be fine.
But the idea here is that eventhen, like, I post a video and
(19:34):
goes, oh, it didn't go viral why?
Oh, it felt hard to go viral.
Yes, it feels hard, hard.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Anyway, this was the.
I think this went for 15minutes.
(19:55):
This is the Sean Roderan podcastor Sean Roderan's podcast, I'm
not sure what I call it.
I'm Sean Roderan and this isthe podcast.
You've listened to it.
Please, if you have anythoughts on what we spoke about,
let me know.
You're on this quest with me.
You're on Vomit Quest.
You're on it.
If you listen to this wholething, you are on Vomit Quest
with me, whether as aparticipant, whether as a
supporter, whether as something.
(20:17):
Keep an eye out for this sci-ficomedy thing I keep talking
about.
Keep an eye out for dreams,goals, stand-up comedy clips.
Keep an eye out for art and,more importantly, keep an eye
out for your own art.
We need it now more than ever.
(20:41):
And if you don't know me, comedown to Dirty Secrets Comedy
Wednesday, thursday, sunday.
That's where I'm currently atall the time, because I fucking
run it, me and Adem Oletas.
We run it together and it'sbeen really good recently, which
(21:01):
makes it hard.
You know, I've got to be morelike.
We're just being more harsh,and it's not because I think
people are crap.
It's that I think the people weput on are good and it's a
challenge.
Everyone's taking everything sofucking personally.
Everyone's taking everything sofucking personally.
(21:21):
Anyway, if you like this video,make sure to leave a like, and
if you did, then I like you.
What do you want to make, letme know.
And if you don't want to makeanything, that's also good.
You're valid, you're valid, youdon't need to make anything.
Hello and welcome to the Sharam Namdarian
podcast.
I am Sharam Namdarian and thisis the podcast.
Yes, we've changed the nameagain back to the original title
of the Sharam Namdarian podcast.
I did a vote online.
People seem to like the, the.
I'm not sure if I do, but I'mjust going to try that.
Hat on again, let's see whathappens.
This episode is called VomitQuest and if I could make a
(00:26):
little fun animation, I'll ithere.
So three, two, one and vomitquest.
Uh, but, um, this is a goalsetting episode.
So this episode is all aboutsetting goals.
I want to share my intent withyou so that way, when you see
them happen, you'll be like, ohmy god, he did it.
That's crazy.
But this idea of this episodeis also that you follow along.
So if you have any goals orthings you want to share, maybe
some reflections, please commentthem in the video.
(00:49):
If you're watching this onYouTube the video version you
know there's comment section, sodo that, don't be afraid.
Or, if you are afraid, beafraid, you're your own, I don't
need to, I'm not your coach.
But also, if you are on the uh,the Insta, um, spotify, spotify
or Apple podcasts or whateverthere is a link in the
(01:09):
description, a fan mail linkwhere you can.
You can drop a fan mail andthat will send me a text message
directly or look like a textmessage to you.
I'll just have a database causeI'm very fancy like that and I
can read your message in thenext episode if that was what
you would like.
And if that's not what you'dlike, you know what?
Just cower in your little boots, cower, cower like this, the,
(01:32):
the something that you are.
So this episode is called vomitquest for one particular reason.
In comedy that is one of myquests and I'll explain what
that is in a second.
But this episode, the premiseof this episode, is very simply
put, it is a goal setting thing.
So what are things I would liketo achieve, what are things I
(01:53):
think should happen?
But to preface it of that, Imeditate a lot.
You'll hear me talk about thison the podcast quite a bit, that
I do meditate quite a lot, thatthere are these ideas and
things that come to me while I'mmeditating.
That was one of the reasons whyI started stand-up comedy.
(02:13):
But the reason why I want tobring up meditation first before
talking about the podcast ishealing.
Meditation to me is not justabout resolving wounds, but it's
about integrating thought.
Now, what is integrated thought?
Integrated thought, to me, iswhere you've actually digested
(02:35):
the fact that you've thought athing, and so you no longer have
to rethink the thing.
It becomes part of a new whole.
That is who you are.
So you have ideas and moreoften than not, these ideas are
hard to do, not because they'retoo big or too complicated or
too whatever, but more becauseyou haven't actually integrated,
(02:57):
you haven't actually processedwhat the fuck it is you actually
want to do.
So I've got some crazy ideasthat I want to share.
Some I'm going to only sharethe idea of it, and some of them
I'm not going to share theactual thing.
But the first and foremost, whenit comes to my quest with
stand-up comedy, is to craftjokes that are so good and this
(03:19):
might be an impossible goal, butI like impossible goals so good
that they do elicit a gagreflex or, the higher goal, a
vomit reflex.
So that would be crazy.
How funny does a thing have tobe in order for it to be so
(03:40):
funny that someone vomits?
Now I shared this with someoneand they were like yeah, you
could go to an old folks home.
You could go to a place youcould go to a uh uh, acid reflux
clinic.
You could go to places whereyou know you just feed them a
heavy meal and then do comedystuff like that where the where
the situation is that morelikely they're going to vomit.
And I and I laughed and I waslike, yeah, set your standards
low.
You know so.
(04:08):
The low, you know.
So.
The reason why I brought up thewhole process of, like,
integrative thought is that forme, what I love is impossible
goals, impossible tasks, thingsthat are so insane that they
inspire thought.
And maybe it's because Istruggle with some thoughts that
I need something that's socrazy that it's like, well, I,
(04:29):
you know, maybe, but the goalpulls me.
The goal pulls me.
The goal pulls me so much thatwhen I see things that are like,
oh, that that's funny, it'slike how could it be so funny
that people vomit?
They're laughing so hard thatthey vomit.
(04:49):
Now I asked AI this because Icouldn't Google it.
I asked AI has there been thecase?
And of course, the currentstate of AI is that they
gaslight you.
They're like, yeah, like youknow, you look real hard, like
there's been some anecdotes.
But there's been some anecdotes, but there's been no specific
evidence of either a joke or aseries of jokes that are
recorded that will make peoplevomit, and that, to me, is
(05:14):
insane, right?
How can I be the first personto have it recorded that the
joke makes people vomit?
And who cares?
Who cares if someone else seesthis and they go?
That's my quest now, now, andI'm going to do it, and they do
do it and they beat me to it.
Who cares?
The level of artistry, the levelof sophistication, the level of
understanding that you willhave to have to achieve that
(05:36):
that's not just laughter, that'snot just killing, that's not
just crushing, that is a levelabove that, where the
physiological response is somuch that it hurts that your
body is literally at anemotional level, rejecting
something I find vomit.
When you have an emotionalhealing and you feel like you
need to vomit, it's becauseyou're literally rejecting
(05:57):
aspects of yourself or you'rerejecting aspects of life.
You're trying to push out,you're trying to let go.
So to elicit a response sopowerful that that is the
ultimate goal is such aninspiring thing for me.
It puts into context quite alot of the other activities that
I would like to do.
The other thing is, yeah,there's like games and stuff I
(06:18):
want to make.
That sounds fun.
One of the other things is mypartner and I were watching a
show recently and it inspired ashow of my own, like an idea.
I don't want to share too muchabout it, but it would be an
insane sci-fi comedy.
I don't want to throw anythingmore out there, but I'm coming
up with the ideas now and I'msharing it, uh, with certain
(06:42):
people and they're like, oh,I've survived.
I only shared it with mypartner partner, but I wanted it
to sound vague because in thefuture I feel like I'll share it
with more people and they'd belike, oh, interesting, but and
when I've shared it with mypartner, I'm like, oh, but is
this derivative?
And she's like, no, I don'tknow anything else.
That's like that.
And what I have in my brain isa very advanced world building
(07:07):
brain.
I've spent my whole lifestudying Warhammer, looking at
Warhammer, making games beingthis sort of thing where I
create a world where I answerquestions.
I'm let down by TV shows thatcan't answer simple questions
that are simple for me but arecomplex maybe for their writer.
So maybe that's a point whereI'm like I need to actually
start making my own shows, butto have an incredibly and this
(07:30):
is the problem here to have anincredibly realistic, looking,
dare I say, sci-fi comedy, it'sgonna the one that I would like
to make.
Like, if you've ever seen theshow Foundation, one thing I
really like about that is thecosmic scale of the show.
It's not that great.
Me and my partner love to watchit.
To hate on it, to be honest.
(07:51):
There's like stuff that justmakes us mad about the show, so
angry, but the other parts thatare so good keep watching it.
Uh, but I I love the grandscale of that and in order to do
that, I need a high budget.
So this is why I'm putting thison the the goal list bing of
something that, dare I say, is along-term goal.
(08:14):
And then you think like, okay,I'm gonna make this show.
That is a sci-fi comedy.
Where am I putting it on?
Am I putting it on Amazon,where the Amazon people can see
it?
Am I putting it on Binge, wherethe Binge people can see it?
Am I putting it on a platformwhere those specific platform
people can see it?
But those people have money, sothen they can help you fund the
show, but am I putting it onYouTube where anyone can see it?
(08:36):
So these are the questions.
These the show, but am Iputting it on YouTube where
anyone can see it?
So these are the questions.
These are the questions, Ithink, that are really important
to answer when you're creatingsomething like this.
And for the one time in my lifenow, dare I say, I'm finally
letting myself admit to myselfthat what I would call is a high
level of thought insanity,which is why a previous name of
this podcast was called Sharm'sInsane Podcast, because to me,
(08:57):
the word insane means insane inyour sanity, in your mind right,
where you've molded around inyour head so much that it's
insane because you've thoughtabout it.
It's in your mind right, andwhat I used to call insane about
myself in a bad way, I'mstarting to realize is insane
about myself in a good way.
(09:17):
But in order for me to finallylet this aspect of myself out,
there were some foundationalaspects of myself that needed to
be integrated, and one of thosethings is you know I've talked
about previously struggled withfeeling love.
Oh my God, did I struggle withfeeling love, holy cow, and I am
on a roll now, you know, I'mhealing.
(09:39):
The comedy shows that I've beendoing have all been
fundamentally rebirthing,nothing less than an egoic
rebirth that I am seeing that,yeah.
So, like I've got a rant hereand I know some comedians listen
to this podcast, and if you doand you think this is about you,
then it probably is, and I'vebeen a culprit of this in myself
(10:04):
.
But I do think it's a culture inAustralia that we have, dare I
say, an aggressive tall poppysyndrome.
We crap on and we argue withand we fight and we spite and we
(10:31):
gossip and we rumor mill and weattack all the people that are
above us in, dare I say, ahierarchy.
And I think when you are above,dare I say, someone and you are
being attacked, it's good to beable to transmute it, but what
that does is it actually makespeople struggle.
When they're at the bottom ofthe hierarchy, we become a crab
pot, we become this fear of tallpoppy and we then participate.
You know, if someone is not,dare I say, enough to be on a
(10:57):
show to perform, we're moreoften, as a community, more
likely to attack the show andattack the people emotionally
than take that as a challenge tobe better.
We should be challenging eachother to be better, to be more
potent, to be funnier, to beexcitinger, to be better at the
(11:18):
job that we have chosen to do,and rather than be afraid to be
seen trying and I'm starting tosee that more.
I think as a community we're soafraid to be seen as trying that
when we start out morespecifically, we're trying to be
seen safe.
We're trying to do it a safeplace, and let me let me throw
(11:40):
this out there there's nothingwrong with being trying to be
like safe, about doing a thing.
You're trying to developaspects of yourself.
So more often than not, they doto be, they need to be in
private, but so, but this is ais a fuck what.
What came first?
The meatball or the chicken?
What came first?
The, the meatball or the egg?
I don't know what the phrase is,but it is like I have become
(12:01):
painfully aware that at leastlet's look at the comedy scene
as a microcosm.
What we do is we try and cram agig wherever we can, because
we're trying to get the stagetime to, to become funnier.
(12:22):
But the gigs themselves are socrap because we're trying to
just cram them anywhere, becausewe're afraid of even trying,
we're afraid of failure sofucking much that we just put
them anywhere that that becomes,actually, ironically, more
(12:44):
harmful.
And then we go I'm not good.
It's like, yeah, you're notgood because this odds were
stacked against you.
We're not good, or you're notgood because you tried so hard.
You're telling yourself you'renot good so fucking much.
The only thing you'recomfortable with is failure.
And it's the frustrating thing,and I've been a symptom of this
(13:06):
, which is why I want to.
I'm talking about healing.
I'm talking about Vomit Quest.
I'm talking about these highgoals.
You know I keep hearing thephrase there was.
There's a video out there ofJerry Seinfeld who has this um.
He talks about um, someone toldhim the advice.
It's like someone told JerrySeinfeld the advice that it's
(13:27):
better to fail at precisely itis the thing you want to be
doing.
Or Jim Carrey's advice, wherehe says he saw his father fail
at something he didn't want tobe doing, so he might as well
fail at the thing you want to bedoing.
And the more I think about this,the more I think I've been so
emotionally stifled in my wholelife that I don't even know how
(13:51):
to answer that question.
Like great, let me fail at thething I want to do.
But what is the thing I want todo?
That's such a hard question toanswer, and I do think one of
the core reasons is thiszeitgeist, cultural trauma that
at least Australians have, thatI may be projecting onto
Australia.
If you don't agree, please usethe fan mail button.
(14:14):
Please use the comment section.
Let me know if I'm wrong.
But holy crap-a-moly.
I do think it's this thingwhere.
But holy crap-a-moly.
I do think it's this thing wherewe're so afraid of being seen
as trying because of how itmakes us stand out, that when we
stand out we might be attacked.
That if we were to fucking eventhink what we wanted to do,
(14:39):
that would be scary.
That if we tried to evenbelieve in the first place that,
yes, I want to make a sci-ficomedy, that's insane, that even
I want to.
I want to like read.
I'll read to you the scriptwhen it's done, like fuck it.
We'll do a reading, but it'swe're so afraid of being seen to
(15:00):
want and I have a, you knowlike why don't we?
It's not even believing inourselves.
The problem isn't that we don'tbelieve in ourselves.
The problem is that we don'teven know how.
We're so afraid of wanting that.
(15:21):
Then people who make gigs, wecram them into whatever cram
hole we can and we're like, if Ican make this good, I can make
anything good.
It's like, no, you can't polisha turd and, admittedly, you can
get good at shit gigs.
I think it's a skill set.
I finally stopped blamingmyself.
I finally stopped saying thatI'm not good because the odds
(15:42):
were stacked against me.
No, that's a different skillset to doing it in a clean, calm
room where everyone's justlistening.
It's just a different skill set.
There's nothing fucking wrong.
And so here's the thing wheredo you want to be?
Where do you want to be?
What do you want to do?
Where do you want to go?
What do you want to create?
To create.
(16:09):
We are in a phase right now inour human existence where we as
a society are craving meaningmore than ever.
We are craving consciousness asAI art and AI production gets
so much more prevalent.
We are craving a quantitativeeffort of thought, and the more
you can put that into a thing,the more powerful it will be.
And people, there's a song Ican't remember.
I heard it in Ikea.
(16:30):
People tend to listen when theyhear.
Your soul was a lyric of thatsong and they're hearing your
soul because you're not afraidto show it.
You're not afraid to show itand we're so afraid.
We're so afraid of expressingourselves that we make iterative
(16:50):
advances because we're ashamedof even having dreams.
I'm fed up, I'm annoyed.
The vomit quest I'm on.
I want it to be powerful.
I don't care if I don't evenget there.
(17:12):
Failure isn't as important asthe quest itself.
Sci-fi comedy not as importantas the quest itself Human
connection, loving one another,art.
(17:42):
I'm at a point in my journey nowwhere I'm becoming a wizard,
and it might not be so prevalenton stage yet because I have so
much, dare I say, trauma thatI'm processing that.
I watch myself create and thinkand then I watch myself on
stage sort of shooting myself onthe foot a little bit.
(18:06):
But with every performance Icut that down.
And now, since I've had thathealing I talked about in the
last episode, that is about howI found it so hard to feel loved
and if I thought I foundsomething hard, I was failing.
It's like just letting myselffind it hard is the most
empowering thing I have everdone.
(18:26):
It's hard.
It's hard to not self-sabotage,it's hard to not try and feel
safe, especially in a situationwhere we will constantly try and
feel safe but holy fuck-a-moly,where we will constantly try
(18:48):
and feel safe but holy fuck, ohmoly.
I'm posting more stand-up clipsthat are just I don't know, in
the future I'm going to thinkthey're dog shit.
Right now, I'm like it's funthat it happened.
I'm practicing audioengineering.
I'm practicing all the skillsets, even posting, even posting
a five-minute stand-up clipwith jokes that I'm trying out
just then and there for thefirst time.
(19:11):
And people will be like why thefuck did you post that?
I'm like, because I get it, Iget stuff out of it.
Maybe 20 people watch it Great,in the future that'll be 20
million.
Great, I can delete them at anytime.
What have I got to lose?
I'm going to die one day andthat'll be fine.
But the idea here is that eventhen, like, I post a video and
(19:34):
goes, oh, it didn't go viral why?
Oh, it felt hard to go viral.
Yes, it feels hard, hard.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Anyway, this was the.
I think this went for 15minutes.
(19:55):
This is the Sean Roderan podcastor Sean Roderan's podcast, I'm
not sure what I call it.
I'm Sean Roderan and this isthe podcast.
You've listened to it.
Please, if you have anythoughts on what we spoke about,
let me know.
You're on this quest with me.
You're on Vomit Quest.
You're on it.
If you listen to this wholething, you are on Vomit Quest
with me, whether as aparticipant, whether as a
supporter, whether as something.
(20:17):
Keep an eye out for this sci-ficomedy thing I keep talking
about.
Keep an eye out for dreams,goals, stand-up comedy clips.
Keep an eye out for art and,more importantly, keep an eye
out for your own art.
We need it now more than ever.
(20:41):
And if you don't know me, comedown to Dirty Secrets Comedy
Wednesday, thursday, sunday.
That's where I'm currently atall the time, because I fucking
run it, me and Adem Oletas.
We run it together and it'sbeen really good recently, which
(21:01):
makes it hard.
You know, I've got to be morelike.
We're just being more harsh,and it's not because I think
people are crap.
It's that I think the people weput on are good and it's a
challenge.
Everyone's taking everything sofucking personally.
Everyone's taking everything sofucking personally.
(21:21):
Anyway, if you like this video,make sure to leave a like, and
if you did, then I like you.
What do you want to make, letme know.
And if you don't want to makeanything, that's also good.
You're valid, you're valid, youdon't need to make anything.
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