September 1, 2025 • 31 mins
What does it mean to truly know yourself in a world that's constantly trying to tell you who to be? This question sits at the heart of my conversation with Tabitha Langley, a woman who has mastered the art of quiet strength.
Unlike many of my guests, Tabitha isn't a public figure or expert - she's my close friend. But sometimes the most profound wisdom comes from those who've simply done the internal work of figuring out who they are and refusing to compromise on what matters. As Tabitha puts it, "I'm not necessarily letting other people's perceptions drive me."
Throughout our conversation, we explore how Tabitha has cultivated a rich inner life filled with diverse passions - from traveling internationally for Formula One races to maintaining a consistent yoga practice, building a library that would make Belle jealous, and creating a home that authentically reflects who she is rather than chasing trends. What connects these seemingly different interests is how they've allowed her to remain deeply connected to herself.
We dive into what it means to be an introvert in an extrovert-dominated world, and how Tabitha has transformed what others might see as a limitation into her superpower. "I have a lot of time to reflect on what I actually think about something," she explains, highlighting how her comfort with solitude has helped her develop strong, well-considered values.
Perhaps most compelling is our discussion about being overlooked in group settings. While many would find this frustrating, Tabitha's perspective is refreshingly unbothered: "I expect to not be everyone's cup of tea." This acceptance allows her to focus her energy on authentic connections rather than trying to impress everyone she meets.
Whether you're someone who tends to get lost in group settings, struggling to maintain your sense of self in a noisy world, or simply trying to figure out how to "unstuck yourself," this conversation offers insights that only come from someone who's mastered the delicate balance of staying true to herself while remaining open to the world around her.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Welcome to the SheSweet Society, a community
where women from all backgroundscome together to share their
stories, support one another andreveal the unfiltered reality
of our lives.
I'm your host and empowerment,sherpa Dahlia, and this podcast
exists to give voice and spaceto women whose experiences might
otherwise go unheard.
Today's episode is a littledifferent because I'm sitting
(00:46):
down with my close friend,tabitha Langley, for what feels
more like one of our regularcatch-up conversations than a
formal interview.
Sometimes, the most revealingconversations happen when you're
just talking with someone whoknows you well, and Tabitha is
definitely one of those peoplewho sees things clearly and
isn't afraid to call it like itis.
What I love about Tabitha is howshe's managed to stay true to
(01:07):
herself in a world thatconstantly tries to reshape us.
She's someone who describes herjob as information wrangling,
travels internationally forFormula One races, has a library
that would make Bell jealousand can put together furniture
better than anyone I know.
But beyond all of her interestsand talents, she's mastered
something many of us strugglewith knowing who she is and
(01:29):
refusing to settle for less,whether you're someone who tends
to get overlooked in groupsettings, struggling to maintain
your sense of self in a noisyworld, or simply trying to
figure out how to stay steady inyour values while remaining
open-minded.
This conversation offersinsights that only come from
someone who's done the work oftruly knowing herself.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Though I know your story, people don't know your
story, and that's the wholepoint of this podcast is to get
people to know your story andlove to talk about what you do
now.
It doesn't even encompass whoyou are or what your
capabilities are, so let's talka bit about that.
Let's start there and then gobackwards.
So what do you do now?
(02:12):
What is your day?
Don't go with titles, but whatdo you do now?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I do a lot of what feels like data entry and
wrangling information as peopleneed it.
I made that joke recently and Iwas like that actually feels
like my actual title isinformation wrangler.
It's either entering theinformation, wrangling it that
way, or I have to pull theinformation out into some kind
(02:37):
of report and wrangle it thatway, and I was like that makes a
lot more sense as to what I doand that encompasses a lot more
sense as to what I do and thatencompasses a lot more than a
title usually would.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
And you are someone who I am, what I understand,
you're very detail oriented.
Is that a fair statement Atwork?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
you are, I was going to say it depends on the
situation.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
But yes, I would say I don't know, your art planning
is pretty detailed.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
I can definitely get hung up on details.
For sure, in general You'revery good at them.
I'm sorry I let them trip me up.
I'll get stuck on something andI'm like, oh, I can't get past
this until I figure out eitherwhere this detail piece fits or
does it need to be taken out,and I'll be stuck there.
(03:28):
And then I have to walk awayfor a bit and then come back to
it, and usually it didn'tmagically clear up, but my brain
cleared up enough to where thenI can move forward.
So being detail-oriented isn'talways a great, so I guess not
an easy route.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I guess Right, fair enough.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
But there are some places where I'm really I'm just
going with the flow.
Um, usually it's not in a placewhere I don't feel the need to
take charge, but in a worksetting.
It feels very much like you'restill in the group projects of
high school all over again andno one's willing to jump in and
do something and I'm like Idon't want to be the person, but
if I, I don't, this thing isnot getting done and then I will
(04:08):
get blamed for it.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Do you find that true in all the companies you've
worked at?
Because I do.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
One giant project.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
That's a giant group project.
You say that about this wholecountry too.
It's a group project.
We all failed.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
You can say that, and fair enough to say that that's
one thing school actually taughtIn group projects.
What role you would have?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
That's the real life skill that they taught.
We should have been learningabout taxes and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
How did everyone else in those group projects somehow
end up in similar roles and insimilar capacities as the rest
of us?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Truly, I don't know, either they know some people or
I guess their charisma gets themreally far.
I wonder if they just probablymake a better first impression
than those of us that feel likewe have to push ourselves to be
in a certain position.
Other people, oh no, justla-di-da, and they happen to
they just own it.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, because they're so good at faking that they
know how to do it.
It's pretty amazing, I guess.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
And I don't do that so.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
No, I just noticed that.
I don't know, maybe there's alot of company policies, too,
that have been very lenient onholding people's hands and
letting them work through things, and then, alternatively I
think we're seeing a lot of it,at least I see it posted all the
time on LinkedIn about peoplevacating their jobs because
they're tired of carrying theweight of three jobs or whatever
(05:38):
the case.
You see that all the time, butyou're not your job.
You are not that.
You also do yoga.
You also travel.
So let's talk about those twothings.
What got you into yoga?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
what the official name was, but it was a full day
and you got to pick certainsessions to try out of just
different activities or whatever, and yoga was one of them and I
tried it and I enjoyed that Um,cause I've always been kind of
flexible.
So I was like let me try this,see if I like it.
Um, and I didn't.
That was my first experiencewith it was in high school, and
then left it alone for a whilebecause I did other stuff in
(06:25):
between.
But then when I moved down toFlorida for a couple of years, I
was like, no, I need to somekind of exercise thing, and I'm
not a runner type person, Idon't have the knees for that
and I found this yoga studiothat was a block away from where
I was working at the time at ahotel, and so they had a decent
(06:45):
intro offer, trial thing, andtheir monthly payment wasn't too
expensive for me at the time.
So I tried it and I just fellin love with it.
What I feel like a lot of peopledon't realize is that yoga is
pretty much an exercise to teachyou how to breathe.
It's mostly about the breath.
Obviously, you still have thephysical aspect to it, but it's
more about I'm truly.
(07:06):
I never am certain if Iactually know how to breathe,
until I get to a yoga class,cause I'm like, do I breathe on
a normal basis?
Cause they have to keepreminding me to breathe and I'm
realizing I am holding a breath.
People make that joke in booksall the time oh, she let out a
breath she didn't know she washolding.
I feel like that's my normallife and yoga, like it reminds
(07:26):
me to breathe.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Why do you not remember to breathe?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Genuinely don't know.
Is it correct with the detailsand the general anxiety of it
all, but yoga definitely helpsremind me to breathe.
And then you all know I justlike the.
Sometimes you get a really goodstretch in and it hurts in the
best way possible.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
That shows me that it's helped, show me I'm
stronger than I thought I was.
I've never been the mostathletic person, but I am
stronger than you would think orthan I would think at least,
just because of the specificyoga poses and how long you have
to hold them in certain classes, and just I can.
The first time I finished oneof the power yoga class I was so
proud of myself because I waslike, oh, I've never been the
(08:11):
super workout athletic person,but I made it and I did it and I
was very proud.
So I don't know, I just and Ilike that.
It's not a super intensiveexercise regime too, and it's
really.
You can modify it, it'sfriendly for everybody.
I love how inclusive yoga is.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's like a total body, mind, emotion workout.
It's very different, I think,from most other workouts.
I can see that I've not done itfor reals, I've only done the
five minute, whatever thing, andI'm like what is this?
I must be in pain to work outOld school Right.
I know I have issues, but no.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Probably why I like it more because it is more all
encompassing.
Whereas if I go to a gym orsomething, my mind has plenty of
time to wander and think abouteverything under the sun, but in
yoga I'm actually focused on amI doing the pose right?
It's easier.
I'm not always a one-track mindkind of person, but it helps
put me in that at least for thehour I'm in class.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I love that, so you've really stuck.
What's really cool about thatin particular I know I've never
told you this is that you'vestuck with that for so long.
You're so religious about goingto yoga and you make it a point
to find it and I just I'vealways admired that about you.
I've never told you that, butI've always admired that.
I thought that that was reallycool.
(09:32):
You've so many things you'reinto.
That is so interesting.
Another one your F1.
You travel for these races.
I'd never heard of it reallyuntil the Netflix series of the
F1, which I think got a lot ofpeople into F1.
But prior to that you werealready in it, already in it.
(09:53):
What's in?
How?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Yeah, I think technically the show had been
out once before I got into theshow, before I got into Formula
One.
But that's not the way.
That was not my route.
But I will.
My route was actually a bookseries I read.
It was set in the Formula Oneworld, obviously a very
fictionalized version, and itwas kind of hard for me to
(10:16):
picture the setting.
I had obviously watched a NASCARrace here and there growing up,
but I didn't.
So I could relate like maybe acouple of things, but they're
very different sports, eventhough it's both race cars.
So, and then I saw an edit onon the internet on tiktok I saw,
of a race driver.
I was like, well, he looks cool, he looks fun, interesting,
he's daniel ricardo, of course,that's awesome.
(10:38):
My all-time faves, danielricardo.
He got me into the sport,naturally, as one does, and no
longer races anymore, but I'mhappy for him.
Um, no, I just then I realized,oh, it's on tv, I can watch
formula one.
So I watched a race or two andthen it was really funny.
My dad actually, I guess when Iwas younger he was a fan of
formula one.
I wasn't, obviously I wasyounger I didn't pay attention
(11:00):
to that.
Um, but he got out of it.
I don't remember, I don'tremember the reason why he
stopped watching it, but rightaround the same time as I was
getting into it on my own, hewas also getting back into
Formula One.
So then that became I was attheir house randomly one day and
he was watching it and I waslike, oh, and I mentioned the
driver, I had seen the thing andI was like, oh, he's the one I
(11:20):
like.
And my dad was really shocked.
He's like what?
And then that just kind ofbecame the basis of we bonded
over it again and I don't know.
That's just pretty much what mydad and I talk about all the
time now just Formula One.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
And it's funny because a lot of people don't
attribute women liking sports.
They just don't.
They think that women only likesports because their boyfriends
, husbands, male co-workers orwhatever the fuck.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Or because the athlete is cute, the athlete is
cute.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You don't give a crap what the athlete looks like.
You are like about the sportand you've got your team.
You've got your hockey.
You've got your football.
I don't think you're intobasketball.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I enjoy watching a game when I'm see most sports I
enjoy.
When I'm physically at a game,I watch it.
I can get into it so much.
I'll usually pick someone.
I'll see it for somewhat randomreason oh I like that player,
so that's who I'm rooting for inthis game.
That, so that's who I'm rootingfor in this game, that type of
thing.
Not based on their looks, it'sjust something like maybe oh,
this kid hit a three-pointer, solet me root for him, or
(12:25):
something innocuous like that.
But I can watch any sport I'dlike, but certain sports they
just call to me and I want towatch them on a regular basis.
But certain, like baseball,basketball, I don't really watch
those on television because Ineed to be in the atmosphere to
really get into it.
I like the camaraderie thatsports creates in those
(12:47):
atmospheres.
Certain things will bring awhole community together.
Actually I think I was toldabout this the other day, one
that really brought the FormulaOne community together literally
this past Sunday.
A driver who has been in thesport for 15 years.
He's done 239 races, nevergotten a post.
(13:08):
He literally had the record forlongest.
Most race starts with no podiumplace finish so first, second
or third, and after 15 yearswith a three-year stint of not
having a team so he wasn't evenracing for three years of the 15
, he finally got his podium at ateam you wouldn't necessarily
think is going to get a podiumspot.
(13:29):
It literally it truly broughtthe entire F1 community together
rooting for this man to get hisfirst podium after 15 years of
perseverance and never giving up.
And goodness, these edits thatpeople are putting online are
bringing tears to my eyes.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
A good sports moment when you're a true fan will make
you cry and I live by that no,I know because we were
celebrating your birthday and itwas a really good, I think,
birthday present that randomlyyou're like what, we're in the
middle of riding roller coastersand you were losing your mind
over this news and I'm like it'sa special thing I very much
(14:06):
enjoy.
It sounds creepy out loud whenyou say it, but I enjoy watching
people enjoy things.
That's something I enjoy deeply.
So when I worked in arestaurant, that's why I loved
working there, because I wouldwatch them eat food and I would
watch it creep in the corner.
Just I enjoy that.
So that particular day I wasenjoying watching you freak out.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
He's not even like a driver.
I particularly like him, buthe's never been my favorite
driver, but I was just soexcited for him in that moment.
He finally got his moment inthe sun.
It's about the story.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yes, it's about the story.
Yes, it's about the story.
So that leads into the otherbig thing you're into, huge into
.
There's so many.
I think we could spend theentire episode talking about all
the things that you are veryinto and it's super, super cool.
It's not defining you, but it'sjust things that bring you joy.
Reading is one of those big ones, oddly, and I only want to put
(15:01):
it as a small disclaimer,because earlier you said you
never viewed yourself as superstrong.
I always did, by the way,because of your ability to put
furniture together.
I hate it so much and everytime I put furniture together
it's usually a little bit wobblyor wonky, and I watched you put
all this furniture together, soyou were in the zone.
You were just methodical aboutit.
(15:21):
Barely even needed theinstructions Predicator, you did
it and I was like wait a minute, she did it.
I've never viewed you as notstrong because of your weird and
amazing ability to put shittogether.
It's super cool, de-attract.
I just had to say that a littlebit.
That's another thing you liketo do.
If anybody's listening andneeds something put together,
(15:43):
call her.
Yeah, but pair Books.
You're into reading.
I've never seen, aside from nowmy neighbor next door.
Anybody that has as many booksas you have that could marvel
that could go against Bell'sLibrary and Beauty and the Beast
.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
That's the dream To be true.
Go against Bell's Library andBeauty and the Beast.
That's the dream.
That is always.
That library is the standardfor me.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
When did you start reading and why do you like
reading still to this day?
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Honestly, since birth my parents would always read me
books.
My mom still jokes that myfavorite book when I was really
young was the Clifford Peekaboobook.
She can still recite it.
That's good, so that I'vealways loved books.
And then, once I startedlearning how to read, I was at
(16:29):
the school, my elementary schoollibrary.
I was in there every second.
I could checking books in andout.
Going to our public library, mymom would take us at least
every other week, if not everyweek, so I could get books and
movies.
Because I also love watchingmovies too, I broke a few videos
in my time from watching them,rewatching them, rewinding them
(16:49):
and watching them again.
Any Gen Z listening a video isa really old version.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
No, you're not what a video or a tape recorder is, so
it's okay.
I don't watch movies now oldmovies and it shows the person
holding the video recorder, oreven a camera on your shoulder,
and what is that?
Speaker 3 (17:14):
right, I feel like I had one of those and my dad
would just be walking aroundwith it on his shoulder.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
They don't understand how much technology has really
exploded over the last, arguablyeven 10 years.
It's crazy If you look atmovies, just that.
Go ahead, sorry, go ahead,that's us.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
We always get on tangent, but no, I always, I
don't know I loved reading, Iloved losing myself in a story
Helps me not necessarily forgetabout my real life for the
moment, but just explore otherlives and other worlds.
Definitely, I would say thebook that solidified my
quote-unquote bookworm statuswould have been, when you know,
(17:53):
a third grade Harry Potter.
But I binged those.
I think the first three hadalready come out.
I like read them so quickly.
And then when the fourth onecame out, I devoured it and then
continued on with that.
But I wasn't necessarily a hugefantasy book reader outside of
the Harry Potter series for along time, and so a few years
(18:15):
ago actually is when I reallystarted to get into more fantasy
books, but like not obviouslylike a young kid or young adult
style, but like the more adultfantasy books where there's a
lot more world building and alot more nuance to the stories.
I guess um, not that therearen't nuances in young adult
books, but just more relatableto me where I'm at now as a 33
(18:36):
year old instead of where I wasas a kid reading books.
But I just love getting lost ina story.
I love character development.
That's probably my biggest one.
I don't.
I'm not necessarily a plotperson that cares about a plot
driven story.
I like a character driven story.
So a whole lot of nothing cantechnically happen in the book
and I'll think, oh yeah, that'sfascinating, just because I'm
(18:56):
really getting into the mind ofa character, or multiple
characters, how they tick, whythey're reacting to the
situation in that particular way.
That's what I usually look forin a story.
So I know I'm not plenty ofpeople like that, but there's,
there are people that are moreplot driven, so that would drive
some of the books I read.
Would probably drive thembonkers.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
But no very much err on your side.
I do love a good plot.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Yes, don't be wrong.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
A good plot?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, don't be, wrong , a good plot.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I can't appreciate a plot if the characters aren't
developing.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Yeah, exactly Like a lot of times, I'll read a book
and my biggest criticism I feellike it's just not.
There's not a lot of depth,like I don't really understand
the characters.
It felt very surface level,even if the plot was fabulous,
or like it pulled from sourcematerial, because, you know,
everything borrows fromeverything else.
So I read a book that was basedoff of one of my favorite
movies, roman holiday, thinkingoh, this would be great.
(19:45):
I love roman holiday, it's aclassic story, um, but you
really didn't get the characterdevelopment throughout the story
.
It was how they were at thebeginning of the story, was
mostly how they were at the end,with maybe like a couple of
tweaks.
So it just wasn't my favorite,even though obviously I love the
source material.
But in the Roman holiday therewas a lot of character growth.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
So I hate it when things don't match.
Yep.
One last thing your knack fordecorating.
People don't know this aboutyou.
Until they like, until out youor they.
They get invited to my house orthey get invited to your house.
They have get invited to yourhouse.
They have no clue how good youare at decorating.
They have, like no idea.
Again, you're like ourcolleague where I'm like.
(20:28):
Mr Calling, you should have donethat, but you got a million and
five calling.
So do it, do what you like, butyou're very good, did you?
I know you didn't study that incollege.
I know in college you studied alot of different things, but
not interior decorating.
Why are you so good at it?
Where did you learn it?
Is this just you born with it?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Honestly, it feels like a strong block, yeah, or I
just see something that catchesmy eye and I'm like you know, I
like that, I think I can makethat work and I'll just put it
in my house and it might justsit in a corner for a while
until I have an epiphany for howsomething could work or look
together.
Maybe it's part it comes frombeing chronically online as well
(21:08):
.
I used to when Pinterest becamea thing.
I loved just scrolling throughPinterest for a while and so
maybe just like absorbing a lotof that over the years.
And again, I watched a lot ofmovies and television shows.
So you get a lot of movies andtelevision shows.
So you get a lot of differentideas that way, even if you're
not necessarily seeking them outsubconsciously, if you're
watching a television show withthe same sets, you're going to
(21:28):
just start to put those thingstogether in your head.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I think no, that's just you.
I get too absorbed in otherthings, I don't pick up on them.
That's why my house looks theway I'm sitting.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I just like things that are aesthetically pleasing,
so I just sort of I'd messaround with things like not
everything always works, but uh,I feel like when I was in your
house if it's a space.
I mean I know I'm gonna be infor a while because, like I'm
slowly going through my house,like my main floor is pretty
much where I want it to be feelwise, so that I kind of
(22:00):
neglected some other spots in myhouse that I know I should get
to, but it'll.
It's a slow process but I feellike that's the sign.
It's like not rushing through aspace either, cause I feel like
that's where a lot of peoplenot to like judge anyone in
their taste.
But If you're rushing throughbecause you just want it to look
like a picture-perfect space,it's not really you.
(22:21):
So I still feel like that'skind of empty and soulless.
In that case, versus, take yourtime to pieces that either mean
something to you or justexpress who you are.
They don't necessarily have tomean anything to you, but just
feel out your own vibe, I guess.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Which means you have to know yourself.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
And not a lot of people know themselves.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Not a lot of people spend enough time to figure out
what they like, what they'reinto, and really stay that
course and know themselves.
It's part of what birthed thiswhole podcast is losing yourself
because life defines youinstead of you defining you.
How have you been able toremain so steady, like you
(23:04):
aren't somebody who lets lifechange you in a way that makes
you no longer follow your ownvalues and your core beliefs?
You stay in your values andyour core beliefs and you don't
allow life to really shake youthat way.
I know it hits you, don't getme wrong.
Life hits everybody, but foryou in particular, I've noticed
(23:27):
you don't settle.
You don't just walk away.
Do you think you settle?
You're making a face.
I don't think you settle.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
No, I don't think I settle, I think a lot of people
do.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
A lot of people strong-willed, weak-willed,
doesn't matter.
A lot of people settle, youdon't.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
No, I don't think I settle.
I think sometimes I have ideasof grandeur and then I'm like
you know what.
I try to be a little bit morerealistic about some things.
I wouldn't call that settling,I'd call that.
You know what.
This is the time it's, this iswhat's I'm.
(24:07):
It's not the time for my grant,like for something that I'm
dreaming of grandeur.
Yet I need to still worktowards that.
So I like take that backsometimes, but I wouldn't say I
settle, I just I'm more.
I feel like it comes a lot fromhaving a lot of alone time.
Like I, I'm an introvert verymuch, though so keeping to
myself, that means I'm notnecessarily letting other
people's perceptions drive me.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
It's your superpower.
You use it as a superpower.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Like I love hearing other people's perspectives and
where they're coming from andwhy they think what they think,
but because I do have the timeto like sit with myself.
I'm not always itching to bearound other people, I'm very
happy with my own company, so Ihave a lot of time to reflect
what I actually think aboutsomething.
(24:51):
Like I might say something inthe heat of the moment but then
when I have time to sit andreflect I'm like you know, it
really doesn't.
That's really not how I thinkabout that situation.
So and again I think it goesback to my love of reading is
I've been able to expose myselfto other thoughts and ideas and
belief systems.
So I just kind of helped buildmy own because I had the time to
(25:13):
like go through those journeysthrough someone else's mind to
help me decipher my own.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
I think it's just brilliant.
I study people because that'smy favorite thing to do is study
people.
You're so good at it.
Well, I study my friends too.
I study everybody and whether Isay it out loud or not, because
I'm an ambivert, so I rechargeintrovertedly, but I'm a very
extroverted, loud person whenI'm an ambivert.
So I recharge introvertedly,but I'm a very extroverted, loud
(25:42):
person when I'm with people andI can tend to dominate and
troll I wouldn't troll's not theright word, I wouldn't say the
word Dominate.
I tend to dominate and I tendto dominate every space that I
get into.
I can sense people's weaknessesvery quickly and my nature
(26:03):
wants to dominate.
You are.
Darwinism in a nutshell rightthere but I'm a healed version
of that now.
But what I've noticed is when Ican sense other people are also
strong, they just quiet.
I tend to give space to thatand I would argue a million
(26:23):
times over you are one of thosepeople.
You are quiet, in groupsettings very quiet, but you are
very strong and people tend tooverlook that or mistake you for
not being as important as youshould be in a room.
And it's what's so funny is theother people in the room that
(26:45):
are like me recognize that inyou very quickly and so
everybody knows treat Tabithawith the same level of respect.
It's crazy to me when peoplesee you, approach you, or
however many times we go out,they just don't see you the
right way and you don't care.
(27:06):
You just walk up and you don'tget upset for you.
I get so mad and you're justlike who cares?
Speaker 3 (27:13):
I'm not their cup of tea, and that's fine.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I'm okay.
I expect to not be people's cupof tea.
I don't like it when I seeother people treated that way.
It's a problem.
But I would argue that for youand I would also argue, just
because I know you, that maybethat's how it's been your whole
life.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Yeah, I mean, I mean no, no, no family or like close
friends or anything.
But yeah, I tend to not.
I can get chatty in certainsettings, Don't get me wrong,
but I'm not necessarily in agroup setting trying to fight
for the attention or to forcemyself into a conversation.
If it naturally happens, itnaturally happens.
But I'm not like going out ofmy way to, I don't know, make a
(27:58):
certain impression on otherpeople, especially if I don't
know them.
So yeah, I would say probably Iget overlooked over the years,
but usually it's by people thatdon't matter.
Yeah, like it's not people, likeit's a.
I also think I'm a pretty goodread on people, so the people
that ignore me, they're not onesthat I get a good vibe from
anyway.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, they don't matter to your life story.
I just think it's really coolthat you're able to again stay
very strong and steady in yourcharacter and you don't let
other people shake or move you,and I think that's really
important for people to learn ifthey can, or at least learn
that they need to learn it.
So, in the interest of time, asI always do and every episode
(28:41):
the same what piece of advicecan you give to people that are
listening as every episode goes?
The whole episode is prettymuch advice, but maybe it's a
mantra you live by, Justsomething that you can pass
along.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I would say always have an open mind.
That's because I I like yousaid, I I am pretty steadfast in
my beliefs, but it doesn't stopme from trying to understand
another perspective.
Or if it's something even Istaunchly don't agree with, I
still want to hear why theythink what they think.
Um, because maybe there's areason for that that.
Just always have that open mind.
(29:21):
Just just learn something new,try something new, because you
could find a new hobby way laterin life that you didn't realize
, that would take over yourwhole life, like me with Formula
One.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Where you're traveling the world and you're
making new friends because ofthis, um.
So don't ever just like letyourself get stuck.
If you're, if you feel stuck Idon't know try to seek something
new out.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, you can unstuck yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
We're going to coin that unstuck yourself, unstuck
yourself, unstuck yourself,unstuck yourself.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
What strikes me most about this conversation with
Tabitha is her quiet strengthand the way she's cultivated
such a rich inner life.
Her advice to always have anopen mind while staying
steadfast in your beliefs feelslike wisdom we all need right
now.
It's that rare combination ofbeing rooted in who you are
while remaining curious aboutthe world around you.
I'm particularly moved by howTabitha has learned to be
(30:15):
comfortable with her own companyand use that introvert
superpower to really reflect onwhat she thinks and feels.
In a world that often rewardsthe loudest voice in the room,
there's something powerful aboutwatching someone who's
perfectly content to let theiractions and characters speak for
themselves.
Her reminder that you canunstuck yourself by trying
something new, like how FormulaOne completely changed her world
(30:37):
, is such a beautiful example ofstaying open to unexpected
passions of any stage of life.
Sometimes the things that endup bringing us the most joy are
the ones we never saw coming.
For those of you who feeloverlooked or underestimated,
maybe Tabitha's story ispermission to recognize that the
people who matter will see yourworth and the ones who don't
(30:58):
simply aren't your people.
Anyway.
If today's conversationinspired you to consider how you
might unstuck yourself or staytruer to your own values.
Share it with someone who needsto hear it.
Remember SheSweet.
Society exists to amplifywomen's voices from all walks of
life, proving that strengthcomes in many different forms.
Until next time, this is yourhost, dahlia, reminding you that
(31:20):
your life is your message tothe world.
Why not make it extraordinary?
You?
Welcome to the SheSweet Society, a community
where women from all backgroundscome together to share their
stories, support one another andreveal the unfiltered reality
of our lives.
I'm your host and empowerment,sherpa Dahlia, and this podcast
exists to give voice and spaceto women whose experiences might
otherwise go unheard.
Today's episode is a littledifferent because I'm sitting
(00:46):
down with my close friend,tabitha Langley, for what feels
more like one of our regularcatch-up conversations than a
formal interview.
Sometimes, the most revealingconversations happen when you're
just talking with someone whoknows you well, and Tabitha is
definitely one of those peoplewho sees things clearly and
isn't afraid to call it like itis.
What I love about Tabitha is howshe's managed to stay true to
(01:07):
herself in a world thatconstantly tries to reshape us.
She's someone who describes herjob as information wrangling,
travels internationally forFormula One races, has a library
that would make Bell jealousand can put together furniture
better than anyone I know.
But beyond all of her interestsand talents, she's mastered
something many of us strugglewith knowing who she is and
(01:29):
refusing to settle for less,whether you're someone who tends
to get overlooked in groupsettings, struggling to maintain
your sense of self in a noisyworld, or simply trying to
figure out how to stay steady inyour values while remaining
open-minded.
This conversation offersinsights that only come from
someone who's done the work oftruly knowing herself.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Though I know your story, people don't know your
story, and that's the wholepoint of this podcast is to get
people to know your story andlove to talk about what you do
now.
It doesn't even encompass whoyou are or what your
capabilities are, so let's talka bit about that.
Let's start there and then gobackwards.
So what do you do now?
(02:12):
What is your day?
Don't go with titles, but whatdo you do now?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I do a lot of what feels like data entry and
wrangling information as peopleneed it.
I made that joke recently and Iwas like that actually feels
like my actual title isinformation wrangler.
It's either entering theinformation, wrangling it that
way, or I have to pull theinformation out into some kind
(02:37):
of report and wrangle it thatway, and I was like that makes a
lot more sense as to what I doand that encompasses a lot more
sense as to what I do and thatencompasses a lot more than a
title usually would.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
And you are someone who I am, what I understand,
you're very detail oriented.
Is that a fair statement Atwork?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
you are, I was going to say it depends on the
situation.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
But yes, I would say I don't know, your art planning
is pretty detailed.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
I can definitely get hung up on details.
For sure, in general You'revery good at them.
I'm sorry I let them trip me up.
I'll get stuck on something andI'm like, oh, I can't get past
this until I figure out eitherwhere this detail piece fits or
does it need to be taken out,and I'll be stuck there.
(03:28):
And then I have to walk awayfor a bit and then come back to
it, and usually it didn'tmagically clear up, but my brain
cleared up enough to where thenI can move forward.
So being detail-oriented isn'talways a great, so I guess not
an easy route.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I guess Right, fair enough.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
But there are some places where I'm really I'm just
going with the flow.
Um, usually it's not in a placewhere I don't feel the need to
take charge, but in a worksetting.
It feels very much like you'restill in the group projects of
high school all over again andno one's willing to jump in and
do something and I'm like Idon't want to be the person, but
if I, I don't, this thing isnot getting done and then I will
(04:08):
get blamed for it.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Do you find that true in all the companies you've
worked at?
Because I do.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
One giant project.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
That's a giant group project.
You say that about this wholecountry too.
It's a group project.
We all failed.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
You can say that, and fair enough to say that that's
one thing school actually taughtIn group projects.
What role you would have?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
That's the real life skill that they taught.
We should have been learningabout taxes and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
How did everyone else in those group projects somehow
end up in similar roles and insimilar capacities as the rest
of us?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Truly, I don't know, either they know some people or
I guess their charisma gets themreally far.
I wonder if they just probablymake a better first impression
than those of us that feel likewe have to push ourselves to be
in a certain position.
Other people, oh no, justla-di-da, and they happen to
they just own it.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, because they're so good at faking that they
know how to do it.
It's pretty amazing, I guess.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
And I don't do that so.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
No, I just noticed that.
I don't know, maybe there's alot of company policies, too,
that have been very lenient onholding people's hands and
letting them work through things, and then, alternatively I
think we're seeing a lot of it,at least I see it posted all the
time on LinkedIn about peoplevacating their jobs because
they're tired of carrying theweight of three jobs or whatever
(05:38):
the case.
You see that all the time, butyou're not your job.
You are not that.
You also do yoga.
You also travel.
So let's talk about those twothings.
What got you into yoga?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
what the official name was, but it was a full day
and you got to pick certainsessions to try out of just
different activities or whatever, and yoga was one of them and I
tried it and I enjoyed that Um,cause I've always been kind of
flexible.
So I was like let me try this,see if I like it.
Um, and I didn't.
That was my first experiencewith it was in high school, and
then left it alone for a whilebecause I did other stuff in
(06:25):
between.
But then when I moved down toFlorida for a couple of years, I
was like, no, I need to somekind of exercise thing, and I'm
not a runner type person, Idon't have the knees for that
and I found this yoga studiothat was a block away from where
I was working at the time at ahotel, and so they had a decent
(06:45):
intro offer, trial thing, andtheir monthly payment wasn't too
expensive for me at the time.
So I tried it and I just fellin love with it.
What I feel like a lot of peopledon't realize is that yoga is
pretty much an exercise to teachyou how to breathe.
It's mostly about the breath.
Obviously, you still have thephysical aspect to it, but it's
more about I'm truly.
(07:06):
I never am certain if Iactually know how to breathe,
until I get to a yoga class,cause I'm like, do I breathe on
a normal basis?
Cause they have to keepreminding me to breathe and I'm
realizing I am holding a breath.
People make that joke in booksall the time oh, she let out a
breath she didn't know she washolding.
I feel like that's my normallife and yoga, like it reminds
(07:26):
me to breathe.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Why do you not remember to breathe?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Genuinely don't know.
Is it correct with the detailsand the general anxiety of it
all, but yoga definitely helpsremind me to breathe.
And then you all know I justlike the.
Sometimes you get a really goodstretch in and it hurts in the
best way possible.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
That shows me that it's helped, show me I'm
stronger than I thought I was.
I've never been the mostathletic person, but I am
stronger than you would think orthan I would think at least,
just because of the specificyoga poses and how long you have
to hold them in certain classes, and just I can.
The first time I finished oneof the power yoga class I was so
proud of myself because I waslike, oh, I've never been the
(08:11):
super workout athletic person,but I made it and I did it and I
was very proud.
So I don't know, I just and Ilike that.
It's not a super intensiveexercise regime too, and it's
really.
You can modify it, it'sfriendly for everybody.
I love how inclusive yoga is.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's like a total body, mind, emotion workout.
It's very different, I think,from most other workouts.
I can see that I've not done itfor reals, I've only done the
five minute, whatever thing, andI'm like what is this?
I must be in pain to work outOld school Right.
I know I have issues, but no.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Probably why I like it more because it is more all
encompassing.
Whereas if I go to a gym orsomething, my mind has plenty of
time to wander and think abouteverything under the sun, but in
yoga I'm actually focused on amI doing the pose right?
It's easier.
I'm not always a one-track mindkind of person, but it helps
put me in that at least for thehour I'm in class.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I love that, so you've really stuck.
What's really cool about thatin particular I know I've never
told you this is that you'vestuck with that for so long.
You're so religious about goingto yoga and you make it a point
to find it and I just I'vealways admired that about you.
I've never told you that, butI've always admired that.
I thought that that was reallycool.
(09:32):
You've so many things you'reinto.
That is so interesting.
Another one your F1.
You travel for these races.
I'd never heard of it reallyuntil the Netflix series of the
F1, which I think got a lot ofpeople into F1.
But prior to that you werealready in it, already in it.
(09:53):
What's in?
How?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Yeah, I think technically the show had been
out once before I got into theshow, before I got into Formula
One.
But that's not the way.
That was not my route.
But I will.
My route was actually a bookseries I read.
It was set in the Formula Oneworld, obviously a very
fictionalized version, and itwas kind of hard for me to
(10:16):
picture the setting.
I had obviously watched a NASCARrace here and there growing up,
but I didn't.
So I could relate like maybe acouple of things, but they're
very different sports, eventhough it's both race cars.
So, and then I saw an edit onon the internet on tiktok I saw,
of a race driver.
I was like, well, he looks cool, he looks fun, interesting,
he's daniel ricardo, of course,that's awesome.
(10:38):
My all-time faves, danielricardo.
He got me into the sport,naturally, as one does, and no
longer races anymore, but I'mhappy for him.
Um, no, I just then I realized,oh, it's on tv, I can watch
formula one.
So I watched a race or two andthen it was really funny.
My dad actually, I guess when Iwas younger he was a fan of
formula one.
I wasn't, obviously I wasyounger I didn't pay attention
(11:00):
to that.
Um, but he got out of it.
I don't remember, I don'tremember the reason why he
stopped watching it, but rightaround the same time as I was
getting into it on my own, hewas also getting back into
Formula One.
So then that became I was attheir house randomly one day and
he was watching it and I waslike, oh, and I mentioned the
driver, I had seen the thing andI was like, oh, he's the one I
(11:20):
like.
And my dad was really shocked.
He's like what?
And then that just kind ofbecame the basis of we bonded
over it again and I don't know.
That's just pretty much what mydad and I talk about all the
time now just Formula One.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
And it's funny because a lot of people don't
attribute women liking sports.
They just don't.
They think that women only likesports because their boyfriends
, husbands, male co-workers orwhatever the fuck.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Or because the athlete is cute, the athlete is
cute.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You don't give a crap what the athlete looks like.
You are like about the sportand you've got your team.
You've got your hockey.
You've got your football.
I don't think you're intobasketball.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I enjoy watching a game when I'm see most sports I
enjoy.
When I'm physically at a game,I watch it.
I can get into it so much.
I'll usually pick someone.
I'll see it for somewhat randomreason oh I like that player,
so that's who I'm rooting for inthis game.
That, so that's who I'm rootingfor in this game, that type of
thing.
Not based on their looks, it'sjust something like maybe oh,
this kid hit a three-pointer, solet me root for him, or
(12:25):
something innocuous like that.
But I can watch any sport I'dlike, but certain sports they
just call to me and I want towatch them on a regular basis.
But certain, like baseball,basketball, I don't really watch
those on television because Ineed to be in the atmosphere to
really get into it.
I like the camaraderie thatsports creates in those
(12:47):
atmospheres.
Certain things will bring awhole community together.
Actually I think I was toldabout this the other day, one
that really brought the FormulaOne community together literally
this past Sunday.
A driver who has been in thesport for 15 years.
He's done 239 races, nevergotten a post.
(13:08):
He literally had the record forlongest.
Most race starts with no podiumplace finish so first, second
or third, and after 15 yearswith a three-year stint of not
having a team so he wasn't evenracing for three years of the 15
, he finally got his podium at ateam you wouldn't necessarily
think is going to get a podiumspot.
(13:29):
It literally it truly broughtthe entire F1 community together
rooting for this man to get hisfirst podium after 15 years of
perseverance and never giving up.
And goodness, these edits thatpeople are putting online are
bringing tears to my eyes.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
A good sports moment when you're a true fan will make
you cry and I live by that no,I know because we were
celebrating your birthday and itwas a really good, I think,
birthday present that randomlyyou're like what, we're in the
middle of riding roller coastersand you were losing your mind
over this news and I'm like it'sa special thing I very much
(14:06):
enjoy.
It sounds creepy out loud whenyou say it, but I enjoy watching
people enjoy things.
That's something I enjoy deeply.
So when I worked in arestaurant, that's why I loved
working there, because I wouldwatch them eat food and I would
watch it creep in the corner.
Just I enjoy that.
So that particular day I wasenjoying watching you freak out.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
He's not even like a driver.
I particularly like him, buthe's never been my favorite
driver, but I was just soexcited for him in that moment.
He finally got his moment inthe sun.
It's about the story.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yes, it's about the story.
Yes, it's about the story.
So that leads into the otherbig thing you're into, huge into
.
There's so many.
I think we could spend theentire episode talking about all
the things that you are veryinto and it's super, super cool.
It's not defining you, but it'sjust things that bring you joy.
Reading is one of those big ones, oddly, and I only want to put
(15:01):
it as a small disclaimer,because earlier you said you
never viewed yourself as superstrong.
I always did, by the way,because of your ability to put
furniture together.
I hate it so much and everytime I put furniture together
it's usually a little bit wobblyor wonky, and I watched you put
all this furniture together, soyou were in the zone.
You were just methodical aboutit.
(15:21):
Barely even needed theinstructions Predicator, you did
it and I was like wait a minute, she did it.
I've never viewed you as notstrong because of your weird and
amazing ability to put shittogether.
It's super cool, de-attract.
I just had to say that a littlebit.
That's another thing you liketo do.
If anybody's listening andneeds something put together,
(15:43):
call her.
Yeah, but pair Books.
You're into reading.
I've never seen, aside from nowmy neighbor next door.
Anybody that has as many booksas you have that could marvel
that could go against Bell'sLibrary and Beauty and the Beast
.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
That's the dream To be true.
Go against Bell's Library andBeauty and the Beast.
That's the dream.
That is always.
That library is the standardfor me.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
When did you start reading and why do you like
reading still to this day?
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Honestly, since birth my parents would always read me
books.
My mom still jokes that myfavorite book when I was really
young was the Clifford Peekaboobook.
She can still recite it.
That's good, so that I'vealways loved books.
And then, once I startedlearning how to read, I was at
(16:29):
the school, my elementary schoollibrary.
I was in there every second.
I could checking books in andout.
Going to our public library, mymom would take us at least
every other week, if not everyweek, so I could get books and
movies.
Because I also love watchingmovies too, I broke a few videos
in my time from watching them,rewatching them, rewinding them
(16:49):
and watching them again.
Any Gen Z listening a video isa really old version.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
No, you're not what a video or a tape recorder is, so
it's okay.
I don't watch movies now oldmovies and it shows the person
holding the video recorder, oreven a camera on your shoulder,
and what is that?
Speaker 3 (17:14):
right, I feel like I had one of those and my dad
would just be walking aroundwith it on his shoulder.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
They don't understand how much technology has really
exploded over the last, arguablyeven 10 years.
It's crazy If you look atmovies, just that.
Go ahead, sorry, go ahead,that's us.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
We always get on tangent, but no, I always, I
don't know I loved reading, Iloved losing myself in a story
Helps me not necessarily forgetabout my real life for the
moment, but just explore otherlives and other worlds.
Definitely, I would say thebook that solidified my
quote-unquote bookworm statuswould have been, when you know,
(17:53):
a third grade Harry Potter.
But I binged those.
I think the first three hadalready come out.
I like read them so quickly.
And then when the fourth onecame out, I devoured it and then
continued on with that.
But I wasn't necessarily a hugefantasy book reader outside of
the Harry Potter series for along time, and so a few years
(18:15):
ago actually is when I reallystarted to get into more fantasy
books, but like not obviouslylike a young kid or young adult
style, but like the more adultfantasy books where there's a
lot more world building and alot more nuance to the stories.
I guess um, not that therearen't nuances in young adult
books, but just more relatableto me where I'm at now as a 33
(18:36):
year old instead of where I wasas a kid reading books.
But I just love getting lost ina story.
I love character development.
That's probably my biggest one.
I don't.
I'm not necessarily a plotperson that cares about a plot
driven story.
I like a character driven story.
So a whole lot of nothing cantechnically happen in the book
and I'll think, oh yeah, that'sfascinating, just because I'm
(18:56):
really getting into the mind ofa character, or multiple
characters, how they tick, whythey're reacting to the
situation in that particular way.
That's what I usually look forin a story.
So I know I'm not plenty ofpeople like that, but there's,
there are people that are moreplot driven, so that would drive
some of the books I read.
Would probably drive thembonkers.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
But no very much err on your side.
I do love a good plot.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Yes, don't be wrong.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
A good plot?
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, don't be, wrong , a good plot.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I can't appreciate a plot if the characters aren't
developing.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Yeah, exactly Like a lot of times, I'll read a book
and my biggest criticism I feellike it's just not.
There's not a lot of depth,like I don't really understand
the characters.
It felt very surface level,even if the plot was fabulous,
or like it pulled from sourcematerial, because, you know,
everything borrows fromeverything else.
So I read a book that was basedoff of one of my favorite
movies, roman holiday, thinkingoh, this would be great.
(19:45):
I love roman holiday, it's aclassic story, um, but you
really didn't get the characterdevelopment throughout the story
.
It was how they were at thebeginning of the story, was
mostly how they were at the end,with maybe like a couple of
tweaks.
So it just wasn't my favorite,even though obviously I love the
source material.
But in the Roman holiday therewas a lot of character growth.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
So I hate it when things don't match.
Yep.
One last thing your knack fordecorating.
People don't know this aboutyou.
Until they like, until out youor they.
They get invited to my house orthey get invited to your house.
They have get invited to yourhouse.
They have no clue how good youare at decorating.
They have, like no idea.
Again, you're like ourcolleague where I'm like.
(20:28):
Mr Calling, you should have donethat, but you got a million and
five calling.
So do it, do what you like, butyou're very good, did you?
I know you didn't study that incollege.
I know in college you studied alot of different things, but
not interior decorating.
Why are you so good at it?
Where did you learn it?
Is this just you born with it?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Honestly, it feels like a strong block, yeah, or I
just see something that catchesmy eye and I'm like you know, I
like that, I think I can makethat work and I'll just put it
in my house and it might justsit in a corner for a while
until I have an epiphany for howsomething could work or look
together.
Maybe it's part it comes frombeing chronically online as well
(21:08):
.
I used to when Pinterest becamea thing.
I loved just scrolling throughPinterest for a while and so
maybe just like absorbing a lotof that over the years.
And again, I watched a lot ofmovies and television shows.
So you get a lot of movies andtelevision shows.
So you get a lot of differentideas that way, even if you're
not necessarily seeking them outsubconsciously, if you're
watching a television show withthe same sets, you're going to
(21:28):
just start to put those thingstogether in your head.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I think no, that's just you.
I get too absorbed in otherthings, I don't pick up on them.
That's why my house looks theway I'm sitting.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I just like things that are aesthetically pleasing,
so I just sort of I'd messaround with things like not
everything always works, but uh,I feel like when I was in your
house if it's a space.
I mean I know I'm gonna be infor a while because, like I'm
slowly going through my house,like my main floor is pretty
much where I want it to be feelwise, so that I kind of
(22:00):
neglected some other spots in myhouse that I know I should get
to, but it'll.
It's a slow process but I feellike that's the sign.
It's like not rushing through aspace either, cause I feel like
that's where a lot of peoplenot to like judge anyone in
their taste.
But If you're rushing throughbecause you just want it to look
like a picture-perfect space,it's not really you.
(22:21):
So I still feel like that'skind of empty and soulless.
In that case, versus, take yourtime to pieces that either mean
something to you or justexpress who you are.
They don't necessarily have tomean anything to you, but just
feel out your own vibe, I guess.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Which means you have to know yourself.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
And not a lot of people know themselves.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Not a lot of people spend enough time to figure out
what they like, what they'reinto, and really stay that
course and know themselves.
It's part of what birthed thiswhole podcast is losing yourself
because life defines youinstead of you defining you.
How have you been able toremain so steady, like you
(23:04):
aren't somebody who lets lifechange you in a way that makes
you no longer follow your ownvalues and your core beliefs?
You stay in your values andyour core beliefs and you don't
allow life to really shake youthat way.
I know it hits you, don't getme wrong.
Life hits everybody, but foryou in particular, I've noticed
(23:27):
you don't settle.
You don't just walk away.
Do you think you settle?
You're making a face.
I don't think you settle.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
No, I don't think I settle, I think a lot of people
do.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
A lot of people strong-willed, weak-willed,
doesn't matter.
A lot of people settle, youdon't.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
No, I don't think I settle.
I think sometimes I have ideasof grandeur and then I'm like
you know what.
I try to be a little bit morerealistic about some things.
I wouldn't call that settling,I'd call that.
You know what.
This is the time it's, this iswhat's I'm.
(24:07):
It's not the time for my grant,like for something that I'm
dreaming of grandeur.
Yet I need to still worktowards that.
So I like take that backsometimes, but I wouldn't say I
settle, I just I'm more.
I feel like it comes a lot fromhaving a lot of alone time.
Like I, I'm an introvert verymuch, though so keeping to
myself, that means I'm notnecessarily letting other
people's perceptions drive me.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
It's your superpower.
You use it as a superpower.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Like I love hearing other people's perspectives and
where they're coming from andwhy they think what they think,
but because I do have the timeto like sit with myself.
I'm not always itching to bearound other people, I'm very
happy with my own company, so Ihave a lot of time to reflect
what I actually think aboutsomething.
(24:51):
Like I might say something inthe heat of the moment but then
when I have time to sit andreflect I'm like you know, it
really doesn't.
That's really not how I thinkabout that situation.
So and again I think it goesback to my love of reading is
I've been able to expose myselfto other thoughts and ideas and
belief systems.
So I just kind of helped buildmy own because I had the time to
(25:13):
like go through those journeysthrough someone else's mind to
help me decipher my own.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
I think it's just brilliant.
I study people because that'smy favorite thing to do is study
people.
You're so good at it.
Well, I study my friends too.
I study everybody and whether Isay it out loud or not, because
I'm an ambivert, so I rechargeintrovertedly, but I'm a very
extroverted, loud person whenI'm an ambivert.
So I recharge introvertedly,but I'm a very extroverted, loud
(25:42):
person when I'm with people andI can tend to dominate and
troll I wouldn't troll's not theright word, I wouldn't say the
word Dominate.
I tend to dominate and I tendto dominate every space that I
get into.
I can sense people's weaknessesvery quickly and my nature
(26:03):
wants to dominate.
You are.
Darwinism in a nutshell rightthere but I'm a healed version
of that now.
But what I've noticed is when Ican sense other people are also
strong, they just quiet.
I tend to give space to thatand I would argue a million
(26:23):
times over you are one of thosepeople.
You are quiet, in groupsettings very quiet, but you are
very strong and people tend tooverlook that or mistake you for
not being as important as youshould be in a room.
And it's what's so funny is theother people in the room that
(26:45):
are like me recognize that inyou very quickly and so
everybody knows treat Tabithawith the same level of respect.
It's crazy to me when peoplesee you, approach you, or
however many times we go out,they just don't see you the
right way and you don't care.
(27:06):
You just walk up and you don'tget upset for you.
I get so mad and you're justlike who cares?
Speaker 3 (27:13):
I'm not their cup of tea, and that's fine.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I'm okay.
I expect to not be people's cupof tea.
I don't like it when I seeother people treated that way.
It's a problem.
But I would argue that for youand I would also argue, just
because I know you, that maybethat's how it's been your whole
life.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Yeah, I mean, I mean no, no, no family or like close
friends or anything.
But yeah, I tend to not.
I can get chatty in certainsettings, Don't get me wrong,
but I'm not necessarily in agroup setting trying to fight
for the attention or to forcemyself into a conversation.
If it naturally happens, itnaturally happens.
But I'm not like going out ofmy way to, I don't know, make a
(27:58):
certain impression on otherpeople, especially if I don't
know them.
So yeah, I would say probably Iget overlooked over the years,
but usually it's by people thatdon't matter.
Yeah, like it's not people, likeit's a.
I also think I'm a pretty goodread on people, so the people
that ignore me, they're not onesthat I get a good vibe from
anyway.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, they don't matter to your life story.
I just think it's really coolthat you're able to again stay
very strong and steady in yourcharacter and you don't let
other people shake or move you,and I think that's really
important for people to learn ifthey can, or at least learn
that they need to learn it.
So, in the interest of time, asI always do and every episode
(28:41):
the same what piece of advicecan you give to people that are
listening as every episode goes?
The whole episode is prettymuch advice, but maybe it's a
mantra you live by, Justsomething that you can pass
along.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I would say always have an open mind.
That's because I I like yousaid, I I am pretty steadfast in
my beliefs, but it doesn't stopme from trying to understand
another perspective.
Or if it's something even Istaunchly don't agree with, I
still want to hear why theythink what they think.
Um, because maybe there's areason for that that.
Just always have that open mind.
(29:21):
Just just learn something new,try something new, because you
could find a new hobby way laterin life that you didn't realize
, that would take over yourwhole life, like me with Formula
One.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Where you're traveling the world and you're
making new friends because ofthis, um.
So don't ever just like letyourself get stuck.
If you're, if you feel stuck Idon't know try to seek something
new out.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, you can unstuck yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
We're going to coin that unstuck yourself, unstuck
yourself, unstuck yourself,unstuck yourself.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
What strikes me most about this conversation with
Tabitha is her quiet strengthand the way she's cultivated
such a rich inner life.
Her advice to always have anopen mind while staying
steadfast in your beliefs feelslike wisdom we all need right
now.
It's that rare combination ofbeing rooted in who you are
while remaining curious aboutthe world around you.
I'm particularly moved by howTabitha has learned to be
(30:15):
comfortable with her own companyand use that introvert
superpower to really reflect onwhat she thinks and feels.
In a world that often rewardsthe loudest voice in the room,
there's something powerful aboutwatching someone who's
perfectly content to let theiractions and characters speak for
themselves.
Her reminder that you canunstuck yourself by trying
something new, like how FormulaOne completely changed her world
(30:37):
, is such a beautiful example ofstaying open to unexpected
passions of any stage of life.
Sometimes the things that endup bringing us the most joy are
the ones we never saw coming.
For those of you who feeloverlooked or underestimated,
maybe Tabitha's story ispermission to recognize that the
people who matter will see yourworth and the ones who don't
(30:58):
simply aren't your people.
Anyway.
If today's conversationinspired you to consider how you
might unstuck yourself or staytruer to your own values.
Share it with someone who needsto hear it.
Remember SheSweet.
Society exists to amplifywomen's voices from all walks of
life, proving that strengthcomes in many different forms.
Until next time, this is yourhost, dahlia, reminding you that
(31:20):
your life is your message tothe world.
Why not make it extraordinary?
You?
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