The Sober Connection

Most sobriety stories are told with the benefit of hindsight. But what about the messy middle? The early days when you're still figuring things out, navigating cravings, questioning yourself, and learning how to live without alcohol.

In this episode, I'm joined by Matt, who is approaching two months alcohol-free. We talk openly about his drinking journey, what led him to stop, the challenges he's faced so far, and the change...

Why does moderation feel so hard? If you've ever made rules around drinking...

Only on weekends.
Only two glasses.
No drinking at home.
I'll start again on Monday.

...and found yourself back in the same cycle, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I'm exploring why moderation can feel so exhausting. Not because you're failing, but because of the constant mental energy it requires.

We'll talk about:

- The hidden mental lo...

This week’s episode is a really special one.

Today I’m joined by an anonymous guest who recently celebrated six months alcohol-free, including reaching five months sober on her birthday, a milestone that once felt impossible to her.

A few months ago, she reached out to me for coaching because she was exhausted by the constant mental battle with alcohol… the moderation attempts, the overthinking, the guilt, and the ...

This week on The Sober Connection, I'm talking about evenings, because for so many people, that’s where the real battle with alcohol actually happens.

The 5pm autopilot. “I deserve this.” The exhausting cycle of trying to hold it together all day… then reaching for a drink to finally switch off.

In this episode, I unpack:

– why evenings feel so hard
– what’s actually happening in your nerv...

This week on The Sober Connection, I’m joined by musician Andre Manella for a really honest conversation about sobriety, touring, creativity, and navigating the music industry without alcohol.

Originally from Switzerland and now based in New Zealand, Andre has spent more than 20 years performing across Europe and NZ, playing over 2000 shows throughout his career. We talk about the drinking culture that often comes with life as...

In this episode, I'm talking about the “in-between” phase of changing your relationship with alcohol - the part nobody really warns you about.

That space where drinking no longer feels good… but not drinking still feels uncomfortable too.

I share my own experience of the stop-start cycle, why so many people relapse around the 40–50 day mark, and the psychology behind why our brains fight change even when we k...

In this episode, I’m joined by Jodi Clark, founder of Sober Flourish, who shares her journey to becoming alcohol-free.

On the surface, everything looked fine - Jodi was a busy mum, successful, holding it all together. But behind the scenes, alcohol was taking up more space than she realised.

We talk about:

•  what her drinking actually looked like
•  the small moments that started to shift things
•  the holiday that b...

This episode is for you if you’ve ever thought… “Why do I keep going back to drinking when I know it’s not working anymore?”

Because this isn’t about willpower or discipline. There’s a reason this keeps happening. Once you understand it, things start to make a lot more sense.

In this episode, I share:

– why drinking can feel automatic
– how emotional triggers and habit loops ke...

In this episode, I'm joined by Paddy Gower for a really honest conversation about drinking, culture, and what actually drives change.

We talk about how easy it is for drinking to feel “normal”, especially in New Zealand, and why that can make it so hard to recognise when something isn’t quite right.

Paddy shares his experience of what shifted things for him, including the moment someone close to him had the courage ...

There’s a moment that doesn’t get talked about enough - the one when everything still looks fine on the outside but deep down, you know something isn’t working anymore.

In this episode, I’m talking about that quiet turning point. The awareness that your drinking isn’t quite where you want it to be, even if it doesn’t look like a “problem” from the outside.

If you’ve ever found you...

In today’s episode, I am joined by Ryan — also known as The Sober Kiwi — to talk about his journey with alcohol, what led him to make a change, and what life looks like on the other side.

What I love about this conversation is how real and grounded it is. There’s no big dramatic story here — just honest reflections on mindset, habits, and the quiet shifts that can completely change the direction of your...

If you feel like you’re constantly starting over when it comes to drinking… you’re not alone.

Taking a break. Cutting back. Telling yourself “this time will be different.”

And for a while, it works… until it doesn’t.

In this episode, Abi talks about why that keeps happening — and why starting again isn’t actually the problem.

After recently losing her Instagram accounts and being ...

In this episode, I sat down with Ian Fee, who lived the “work hard, play harder” lifestyle while building his business… until it caught up with him.

What followed wasn’t just about getting sober - Ian rebuilt his life, his relationships, and his sense of purpose from the ground up.

This is a really honest conversation about:

• high-functioning drinking
• business culture & alcohol
• the moment things have to c...

Guilt and regret don’t always disappear when you stop drinking.

In fact, for many people, sobriety brings clarity — and with it, memories, shame, and self-judgement that can feel hard to shake.

In this episode, Abi explores why guilt lingers, the difference between healthy responsibility and toxic shame, and how self-forgiveness becomes a crucial part of moving forward. She shares a personal reflection, talks through when...

In this episode of The Sober Connection, host Abi King speaks with recovery advocate Jimmy Thistle, who shares his journey of overcoming alcoholism. 

From his early experiences with drinking in Scotland to the consequences of his addiction, including lost relationships and jobs, Jimmy recounts the pivotal moments that led him to seek help. He discusses his time in rehab during the COVID-19 pandemic, the challenges of relapse, a...

If you’ve stopped drinking and your sleep feels worse instead of better, you’re not alone — and nothing has gone wrong.

In this episode, Abi unpacks why early sobriety often comes with broken sleep, vivid dreams, and early-morning wake-ups, and why this phase is a normal part of recovery, not a sign of failure.

You’ll learn:

• How alcohol sedates rather than restores sleep
• Why REM sleep disruption and rebound ...

Listener note: This episode includes a short, non-graphic mention of suicide within a broader discussion. If this is a sensitive topic for you, please listen in a way that feels supportive.

In this episode of The Sober Connection, host Abi King engages in a candid conversation with Jeremy Maxwell, a co-owner of a CrossFit gym and a person in recovery from addiction. 

Jeremy shares his journey from being a high-functioning addict...

In this episode of The Sober Connection, Abi discusses the transformative journey from coping with sobriety to experiencing genuine joy. 

She emphasises the importance of recognising the emotional stages of sobriety, particularly during the hectic festive season, and offers practical steps to intentionally create joy in one's life. 

Through personal anecdotes and scientific insights, Abi illustrates how sobriety can lead to...

**** Please note - this episode contains open & honest conversations around sexual trauma and domestic abuse. There are resources at the bottom of these show notes for anyone that may need them.

In this episode of The Sober Connection, host Abi King speaks with Danielle Naborisi, who quit drinking at the age of 19. They discuss the reasons behind Danielle's decision, the impact of peer pressure, and the role of trauma in alcohol...