August 5, 2025 • 39 mins
Lorelei Whitney, CEO of Wave Leader Consulting, partners with business leaders to propel successful strategies and high performance through culture, change leadership, strategic talent management, and diverse, equitable and inclusive teams. Her balanced focus on people and drive for results, moves others to action. Her influential approach is business relevant and insightful, bringing a partnership that activates empowerment and creates a pull for high performance.
Today, we're diving deep into the concept of leadership legacy, and let me tell you, it’s all about planting seeds for the future, even if you don’t get to see the fruits of your labor right away. Lorelai Whitney, the brain behind Wave Leader Consulting, joins us to share her insights on how being intentional about your legacy can change the game in both our personal and professional lives. We chat about how starting each day with a clear legacy statement can help guide your interactions and decisions, making your leadership style more impactful. Plus, we get into the nitty-gritty of figuring out what truly matters to you, because let's face it, if you don’t know your “why,” you might as well be running in circles. So grab your favorite drink, kick back, and let’s dig into how we can all step up our leadership game!
Stepping into the world of leadership legacy, we’re diving deep into what it means to leave a mark on the world around us. Our guest, Lorelei Whitney, takes us on a rollercoaster ride through her own experiences, from being a corporate HR leader to an inspiring coach and consultant. She shares a gripping story about a life-changing moment at the beach when her daughter was caught in a rip current and almost lost her life. This pivotal experience propelled Lorelei into a journey of self-discovery and purpose, igniting a passion for helping others uncover their own legacies. We explore how every interaction and meeting can be approached with intention, emphasizing the need for leaders to define and articulate their legacy statements. This is about more than just climbing the corporate ladder; it’s about understanding what truly drives us, what we want to be remembered for, and how our daily actions can contribute to a greater cause. Lorelei's insights on identifying personal passions and purposes have the potential to shift perspectives and inspire leaders to act with greater intent, ultimately creating a ripple effect of positive change within their organizations and beyond.
Takeaways:
- Sowing seeds for the future is all about being intentional in every action we take; you might not see the results right away, but these seeds will grow over time.
- Creating a legacy statement can help guide your daily interactions and decisions, making sure you're living intentionally and aligning with your values.
- Finding your 'why' is crucial; it helps you navigate challenges and define your purpose, making it easier to endure tough times and setbacks.
- Leadership legacy isn't just about personal success; it's about how you can uplift others and make a positive impact in your community and workplace.
- Embrace your unique journey and the purpose you bring; it can shift over time, but staying connected to that purpose is what shapes your legacy.
- Don't shy away from discussing your legacy; having those deeper conversations can reveal what truly matters to you and how you want to be remembered.
Links for today's show:
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Someone nearing retirementsays, I'm a sower of seeds for the
future in every step I take.So every single thing they do, they're
sowing seeds that they mightnot even see the fruit of, but they're
sowing seeds for the future.At the beginning of the day, one
should always start with thatlegacy statement to help them be
(00:27):
very intentional about theirmeetings, about their interactions,
and then things outside ofwork as well, and how they'll live
their life. It's like anaffirmation, a form of affirmation,
which I used to think werereally cheesy, honestly, but I see
them being really impactful.When you look at it from the lens
of what am I here to do?
(00:48):
Hi there and welcome to theStep Up Expert Voices for Leadership
Growth. I'm your host, KentKnievel. Every week I talk to experts
who focus on helping leadersstep up their leadership game. If
you're new to the show, thenon whatever platform you're using,
I encourage you to subscribeso you never miss an episode. One
last thing. As a leadershipdevelopment consultant and executive
coach, I have a particularinterest in supporting recent internally
(01:10):
promoted leaders. If that'syou, or if you support a leader who
has been recently promoted, Iencourage you to visit my website
at Kent Coach Playbook anddownload a free copy of my 90 day
blueprint filled withpractical advice for you or the leader
you support in hitting theground running and truly stepping
up to their new leadershiplevel. Without further ado, on with
the show. Welcome, everybody.Today we are talking about your leadership
(01:36):
legacy. And with me for theconversation today is Lorelai Whitney.
She's the CEO and founder ofWave Leader Consulting and Coaching.
Lorelai, thank you for joiningme today.
Hi, Kent. Thank you. And it'sso good to be back with you.
Likewise. So really excited toget into our topic today, but first,
I want to hear about yourcareer story. You know, walk us through
(01:58):
whatever level of detail youwant. But, you know, what's. What's
been your career arc? How didyou get into what you're doing today?
You know, I'll tell the careerstory in a way that it relates very
much to the topic ofleadership legacy.
Perfect.
So I spent about 20 years ofmy career in a large global manufacturing
(02:18):
company. You were there.That's where our paths had crossed.
And I was in various HRleadership roles. And then for a
while then moved intodiversity, equity, inclusion, and
leading, a large part of thatfor the organization. And it was
a phenomenal career, aphenomenal company. And I always
(02:38):
had this inkling in the backof my mind that I wanted to go and
do coaching and consulting andlike this entrepreneurial spirit
of wanting to go and dosomething else. But that was not
the least bit practicalbecause we've got four kids, my husband's
a stay at home dad. And solike a steady, reliable job was definitely
(03:02):
the predictable way to go andjust felt more comfortable. And then
we took a family vacation. Andon that family vacation we were in
a different country and wewere by the ocean. And I love to
surf. I'm not good at it, Ionly do it a few times a year. And.
And so my daughter and I, myoldest daughter and I went down to
(03:23):
the beach and you could tellit was going to be a really good
swell coming in because therewas a professional photographer who
is set up on the beach, somereally strong surfers there. And
I had a board and I wascatching the waves close to shore.
Like after they broke, I wouldcatch the waves and I would ride
them in. And my daughter, Ihad said to her, like, you stay waist
(03:48):
deep, don't go any deeper thanyour waist. And so she'd be cheering
for me as I catch a wave andride it in. And then I look over
and I don't see her thereanymore. And I turn and I look out
into the water and I could seethis round circle of a head. And
I knew that had to be her. Andwhere that was, I also knew I couldn't
(04:12):
get to. I did not have theability to get there. And if I could,
we didn't have the time. Sothe only thing that I could think
of is there's a professionalphotographer who was on the beach.
And so I ran up to him and Isaid, I need help, my daughter's
out there. And so he startedwhistling to any experienced surfers
(04:35):
to come. And there was thisone person who ran up to me, right
by my side. And I will alwaysremember so vividly what this person
looked like. He had dark skin,dark hair with some gray speckles
in the hair. He had on a dark,short sleeved swim shirt, white swim
trunks, and one of those shorttrick surfboards. And we start walking
(05:00):
out into the water together.And then I could not find that round
circle of a head. I keeplooking and looking and nothing.
And I thought, how can I leavethis country without my child? And
will I ever have her body forclosure? And I yelled out, I said,
(05:21):
God, please don't take her.And it wasn't too long after, but
I saw the head come up. And soto the person next to me. I said,
she's there. And he went outto her and she was so exhausted that
she couldn't hold herself onthe surfboard because he was trying
(05:42):
to bring her in on his board.And so he put her on his back and
he brought her in. And Ilooked at him and I said, thank you.
And I gave my daughter, whowas 11 at the time, I gave her a
great big hug. And then Ilooked to the person next to me and
I'd never heard his voiceonce. He had never said a single
(06:04):
word to me. And he just lookedat me with this expressionless face
and dark eyes. It was likethere's a gravity of he knew what
just happened. And he turnedand he started running away. And
I watch him running away andas he's going across the sand and
(06:25):
going diagonally towards thewater, I realize his feet don't touch
the ground. And then I noticeas he enters the water and towards
the horizon, he literallyfades away. So we had this miraculous
experience of what I believean angel who came and saved the life
(06:45):
of our 11 year old daughterand saved our whole family because
I don't know how we would havecome back from that. And that was
such a huge awakening momentof the fragility of life and what
really matters. So a whileafter that, for the next year, of
course I didn't sleep thatnight. The next day, I mean, both
(07:08):
my daughter and I were reallyshook. But I remember talking with
her on the way back to thebeach the next day and I said, things
are going to change. Somethings are going to be different.
And I didn't know what thatwas exactly. I just knew that there
needed to be some change. Andshortly after that, it became clear
(07:30):
that I was meant to go andserve more leaders, more teams, more
organizations. And that wasliving into a purpose and living
into a legacy that I wasbrought here for. And I share this
story because every single oneof us has a distinct purpose that's
(07:52):
part of a greater legacy. Andthat purpose may shift from different
time to time in our career,but it's all part of that bigger
leadership legacy picture ofhow we will live our life and how
we will live in our careers.So part of the work that I do today
is working with leaders tohelp uncover what is the legacy that
(08:15):
they want to leave and how dothey live more impactfully in all
facets of their life, work andoutside of life or outside of work
into their legacy.
I love it. So not the firsttime I've heard your story and it
never gets old and gives mechills every time. So thank you for
(08:37):
sharing that. So I love thatthis was like a big moment of clarity
for you that's propelled youinto. Right. What you're doing now.
So let's, let's dive intoleadership legacy. Right, so what,
what has made you. You know, Iknow it's not the only focus in what
you do, but it, but I thinkit's, it's a big passion area for
(08:59):
you. So what has sort ofguided you into consulting and coaching
around leadership legacy?Where do you, how do you determine
to focus on that with leaders?Where do you start?
Yeah, well, I think you canonly take people as far as you have
gone yourself. So that's oneof the things. When I'm working with
(09:20):
leaders and leadership teams,if you want to take your people further,
if you want to grow them, ifyou want them to transform, evolve,
grow the business to newheights, you can only take them there
if you're willing to go thereyourself. So part of the work in
working with leaders isdiscovering what is the impact that
(09:42):
they want to makeindividually. Always starting with
the individual first. And thenthere's the collective. What's the
impact that we want to make asa team, as a leadership team. And
then that cascades andtranscends and ripples throughout
the rest of the organization.So one of the places that we might
start as an individual andthis might be in the context of doing
(10:05):
it together as a team, or itcould be one on one through coaching
is discovering what are yourpassions and what is your purpose.
And so there's some questionsthat we'll ask to get into that.
And so it could be like, whatwere the best days of your life where
you felt so fully alive? Whatwere you immersed in? What were you
(10:27):
doing? Or something like, whatpulls at your heart, what makes you
so angry that it might evenbring you to tears? What could you
spend years of your lifededicating yourself to through some
of the most difficult momentsand resistance and pushback, but
at the end, it would all beworth it. So those are the kind of
(10:50):
things that can help youdiscover, what am I passionate about?
And then on purpose, it's whatdo you want to be known for? What
do you want your fingerprintsto be on? When you look back at the
end of what hopefully will bea really amazing period of time here,
what do you want your impactto be? And it might be what can you
(11:11):
no longer tolerate? Because ifit's something you can no longer
tolerate, then you've probablygot a lot of energy and purpose to
pour yourself into it. Sothose kind of things can help the
beginning of trying to uncoverwhere is someone's passion and where's
their purpose, which then canhelp discover what is my legacy.
(11:33):
If they're kind of trying tofigure out where do I go from here.
Yeah, yeah.
And then getting clear on thatbold leadership legacy which might
evolve in different seasons ofyour life. So for one person, it
might be my bold leadershiplegacy is raising kids who care for
(11:56):
others, who know how to showlove and respect and honor values.
That might be someone'sleadership legacy for this portion
of their life. For anotherperson it might be, you know, I create
innovative products andsolutions that help make people's
(12:16):
lives better and might evenhelp save lives for others if they're
nearing the end of theircareer. It might be, I'm a developer
of the next generation talentand so I'm going to grow them through
all of my skills andexperiences to make sure that this
next generation is even betterthan what I could ever do.
(12:38):
I love that. So I've gonerecently, I've gone through and it's
given me a lot to think aboutbecause there's different ways to
do it too. I've gone throughsort of the seven, what's your seven
layers of why kind ofactivity. Right. How do you keep
peeling that back? Right. Andso it sounds very similar to that
last piece that you're talkingabout here, which is like, what is
(12:58):
that why for you? And onething I'd add, because I think people
avoid this out of this thing.I'm about to say avoid this out of
a fear of seeming. I don'tknow if it's self indulgent or too
commercial or whatever it is,Right. But when I was going through
this, the person that waswalking us through this even specifically
(13:21):
said, hey, give yourselfpermission to say, I want to make
gobs of money, but then justgo deeper. Well, why? What does that
unlock for you? Right? And youknow, I found that to be a, you know,
a fun. Even if, even if that'snot right, I just like to wedge that
in there to say, well,sometimes your why might be I want
to make enough money tosustain my family so that we can
(13:46):
do these types of things, sothat we can plan for these kinds
of things in our future. Sothat. Right. So I'd say like my own
personal, like, why journeysort of ended with like, because
that's what a well lived life,you know, would look like to me.
Right. But I like, I Likewhere you're starting here. Because
I, I think both figuring outwhat matters to you, what do you
(14:08):
want to pour yourself into isa different angle. But what, what,
what you said just kind ofbrought up this other angle that
I kind of wanted to wedge inthere as well.
Yeah. When you're living inyour leadership legacy, everything's
not going to come easy.
Yeah.
Like, you might have somereally difficult setbacks, you might
hit some tough resistance thatyou need to persevere through. So
(14:29):
to your point, you have to beclear on your why. Viktor Frankl
has this incredible quote fromA Man's Search For Meaning. It's
something like when you knowyour why, you can endure almost any
what, like anything that mighthappen to you. And he was one of
(14:49):
the survivors of theHolocaust, and so he had a very clear
why on what ultimately got himthrough what's a horrific experience.
Yeah.
But back to the financialpiece, someone's legacy might start
with, I want to be reallyfinancially successful. And to that
(15:11):
point of, well, what'sunderneath of that? Well, because,
you know, no one in my familylineage ever was able to graduate
from college.
Right.
And there were differentgenerational histories of addictions
or hardships that I want tochange the trajectory for, and I
(15:33):
want to be able to pass onwealth to those future generations.
That's a whole different pieceof. Well, I want to be really financially
well off.
Yeah. Yeah. Well. And I thinkit's. It's all about. And I think
that it's, you know, kind ofgoing back to the process you were
walking us through. Part of itis getting really honest with yourself.
(15:54):
Right. What, what is theimpact you really want to have? Why?
And why. Why does it reallymatter to you? Right. And I think
just throwing that out thereto say, you know, don't censor yourself
with that kind of work. Right.Be. Get really honest with yourself
about what matters to you. Youdon't have to share it with anybody
necessarily. Right. But if, ifyou can get really clear with yourself
(16:14):
to your point on the, youknow, on the worst days, you can
hang, you know, you can stillhang your hat on why, why you are,
you know, doing this, what isyour purpose. I love that. So how
has that been for you kind ofworking people through, you know,
before we get on to the nextpart of it here? Like how, you know,
(16:34):
how. What have you seen peoplestruggle with or even glom onto when
you're working people throughthat process?
You know, one of the biggestchallenges, I think, is that giving
yourself permission. Often wesee ourselves so much smaller than
what's possible. And then whatwe're capable of, that might be one
(16:55):
part of it. So we get so stuckin our own head around, well, I can't
really do that. And so some ofthose self sabotaging ways of thinking.
Now on the other side of that,there also might be just a radical
humility where it's like,well, I don't want to put myself
out there so much becausethat's not me to be in the spotlight.
(17:19):
Yeah.
And the reality is if youdon't look at what the rest of the
world is missing out on, lookat the impact that is left on the
table untouched will not existbecause you're not putting yourself
out there. So those are acouple of really more common challenges
(17:42):
that people face and totallyunderstandable. I think we can all.
Anyone listening, you, me,like, we can all think of times where
we have been there in eitherone of those mindsets.
Yeah, yeah. Well, and I likekind of going back to where you started,
which is you kind of have tostart here, right. If before you
get to the. All right, so howdo I want to show up as, as a leader?
(18:02):
How do I want to lead people?How do I want to bring the best out
of my company, myorganization, my people? So take
me through the. So where doyou go with people next as they,
you know, starting withyourself now, focusing external.
And where do you bring them next?
Yeah, and I love that you saidfocusing external because that is
(18:24):
what leadership legacy is.It's getting all out of wrapped up
in yourself. And instead whatam I doing to serve others? What
am I doing to make someone orsomething else better and realizing
that that means more than yourown comfort. Because I could have
(18:44):
stayed very comfortable inprevious work, previous jobs, and
have done some incrediblyimpactful work. Yet there was greater
impact on the other side. Butthere needed to be a push to move
out of that comfort intocompletely unknown territory. So
(19:07):
after we get some clarityaround what do you want your bold
leadership legacy to be, youneed to get excited about it, like
really excited about it in away that you can read it every single
morning and it makes you situp a little taller. So while I was
(19:27):
in some other roles I'd comeup with, my legacy was I'm going
to be the spark that lightsthe fire in others. So every single
day that was what I was out todo on a mission to do. And that might
have been through oneinteraction with someone. It might
have been through maybe I wasworking on some kind of a policy
(19:49):
it could have been through alarger team meeting, but no matter
what, every single day I wasgoing to be the spark that lights
the fire in others and thatshows up at home too, and with friendships
and communities. So it's likepart of this legacy is you look at
how can this happen throughall facets of my life now my legacy
(20:12):
is I'm a soldier for humanityin workplaces and in the world. And
so that's what we do in thebusiness I lead, is we bring more
humanity into workplaces andinto the world. But some teams that
I've worked with, like, here'ssome examples of legacies that they've
come up with. Someone who is anew parent, she said, I'm an architect
(20:35):
of tomorrow, building avirtuous and loving future. Like
that new mom is an architectof tomorrow. That's amazing. A mid
career innovation managersays, I'm a catalyst for positive
change, enhancing lives withevery single product that I make.
(20:56):
They're a catalyst for changeand they're enhancing lives with
everything they touch.
Nice.
Someone nearing retirementsays, I'm a sower of seeds for the
future in every step I take.So every single thing they do, they're
sowing seeds that they mightnot even see the fruit of, but they're
sowing seeds for the future.And so those are a few examples.
(21:19):
And I think at the beginningof the day, one should always start
with that legacy statement tohelp them be very intentional about
their meetings, about theirinteractions, and then things outside
of work as well in how they'lllive their life. It's like an affirmation,
a form of affirmation which Iused to think were really cheesy,
(21:42):
honestly, but, but I see thembeing really impactful. When you
look at it from the lens ofwhat am I here to do?
Yeah. Well, what I think it isthough is it's intentionality, right?
There are so many, andthere's, there's so many paths to
help people buildintentionality, right? This is just
one of them, you know, becauseI think time and time again in both
(22:04):
sort of the coaching work andthe leadership development work that
I do, you know, you, youeither, you know, a handful of people
land in a class you'reteaching or land on the other side
of a zoom call or a table, youknow, for coaching. And you know,
what I end up seeing is peoplewho, with the best of it intention,
but frankly unintentionally,right. Showing up every day, trying
(22:28):
to check the boxes, get thingsdone, do a good job, but a lot of
things Especially when itcomes to leadership development in
general, I find. Right. A lotof things come down to in, you know,
being more intentional aboutwhat you're doing and how you're
doing it. Right. I think what,what you, what you're talking about
here is going all the wayupstream first. Right. Which I love.
(22:52):
I don't know. I mean, the, themetaphor of, you know, the upstream,
downstream thinking. Right.The, you know, this, this guy keeps
kind of rescuing kids from ariver who are like, floating down
the river. And his friendstarts. I'm probably butchering this.
Right. But his friend startsrunning up the stream. He's like,
hey, what are you doing? We'retrying to, you know, save these kids
here. He's like, I'm running.I'm going up upstream to find the
(23:15):
person who's throwing thesekids in the river to begin with.
Right. So, you know, you're.You're talking about really starting
at this core upstream, kind offrom doing to being right. Perspective
of, you know, leading, if notliving with intentionality.
Yeah. Yep. Well said. And inall facets of life. And when we can
(23:42):
do that in the workplaceswhere we, when we can help people
understand their biggerpurpose and their bigger impact in
the world. In the workplaces,it's upstream. It's like you're touching
hearts, you're moving people.You're connecting first with the
(24:04):
heart, then with the head, andthen they're going to move the feet
to walk through any mountainthat might come their way. So imagine
the complex problems, thechallenges that people could solve
in the workplace quicker,better if you're to catch it upstream
(24:26):
by helping to invest in whothey are and how they will be like,
you're just going to avoid alot of the downstream stuff, and
when it needs to happen,they're going to be incredible what
they can do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. I'dimagine that there's times where
this is not the easiest ofprocess for people to work through.
(24:48):
So how. Right. Because you'reasking them for the first time, in
some cases. Right. The firsttime ever. To just like, pause for
a second. Second. And yeah, Iknow you want to talk about how to
hold people accountable betteror how to gain more influence your
organization. But let's. Let'stake a step back here. Right. I'd
imagine whether or not it is,you know, intentional resistance
(25:09):
of. Well, that's not what Iwant to learn, but there's probably.
I bet some people have justsome initial resistance to going
that deep. Right. So how. Howdo you work people through Giving
themselves permission, Iguess, to pause and go a little deeper.
So there's a couple ofdifferent routes depending on what
(25:29):
angle you're coming from here.So there are times where, you know,
it's a, it's a keynoteworkshop and this is the purpose.
So they come with some prework in advance and they know what
to expect. And so then it'spretty direct to be able to guide
through together. And it'samazing when it's a shared learning
(25:50):
experience and community whois there to support one another along
the way. So that's probablythe easiest scenario of how to get
someone to explore this forthemselves. The other might be in
the one on one coaching. Andwhen we're starting the coaching
(26:10):
relationship, you have some ofthose questions that you ask of,
you know, what does successlook like for you? What would you
like to get out of this? Andthen I'll ask them about leadership
legacy there. And so if theyoutline that as part of one of their
leadership goals, then that isa way to then start bringing it closer
(26:33):
and closer to that through ourconversations. If that's not an area
of focus that someone has, youcould do like a light version. The
right version would bethroughout the conversations, taking
a step back, saying, hey,let's just look at this from a different
angle. What's the impact thatyou want to have? How do you want
(26:56):
to be remembered? And youmight even ask the legacy question,
you know, you're here in thistime and place for this, whatever
it is that's in front of them.What do you want your legacy to be
while you're here? And thenyou don't necessarily go through
the whole thing all at once,but it does prompt a very different
type of thinking and a verydifferent kind of answer.
(27:19):
I would imagine also that thisprobably really resonates with smaller
business owners, familybusiness owners, who especially those
that are, I mean, let's justcall it out, right? There is a huge
population of baby boomers whoare, especially in the entrepreneurial
small business, you know,space, who are probably knocking
(27:42):
on retirement store, right.And thinking about, you know, thinking
about legacy. Right. And soI'd imagine this resonates really
well with those people who arestarting to think about their legacies,
thinking about their exit planeven. Right. What am I leaving behind?
I can, I could just see thisreally resonating with that crowd.
Are you, I don't know, isthat, is that resonating with you?
(28:06):
Yeah, it does. And actuallythat was, I think it was that question
that I, that I asked invisiting A new potential client of
doing some work with one oftheir leadership teams. So they had
a. They had a. The CEO wasfairly new coming into his role.
The team was quiteestablished. He wasn't a new CEO,
but the team was quiteestablished. And as we were talking
(28:28):
about what he wanted to dowith the team, it was that question,
what do you want your legacyto be? He had shared later with his
leadership team. That's thequestion that I want us all to wrestle
with.
Yeah, yeah.
So I think it might have beenthat question that ended up having
them feel like I was the rightfit to work with them at the time.
(28:50):
Perfect.
But, you know, there's alsopeople who are, you know, at different
phases in their career whowouldn't be at the tail end or the
more, you know, looking atnext horizon. And it's all about
how do I make a difference andhow do I make an impact? And that
oftentimes being moreimportant than finances, and so equally
(29:16):
important to people who mightbe at other places in their career
that are just like, you knowwhat? I just want to do good work
and make an impact in the world.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I find a lotof people wrestling with that sort
of both in my personal andprofessional life. Right. I think
the pandemic was a. An eyeopening for a lot of people in terms
(29:39):
of what really matters. Right.When, you know, when the world had
sort of shut down, I think itcaused a lot of introspection, which
we're still seeing the rippleeffects from today. And that's one
thing I keep hearing peopletalk about is, you know, and I'll.
Let's just go specific tocareers and leadership for a minute.
(30:01):
I have heard more peopleasking the question of, do I, you
know, do I really want thatrole title? Those challenges when
I'm making a really goodimpact today and I'm really fulfilled
today. Right. Like, so, like.And I've talked with other consultants
(30:22):
about this too. Like, that,this, you know, people are. I don't
know. I don't have anyresearch to point to. Maybe it's
out there, maybe it's not.But, like, people are starting to
opt out of the leadershippipeline almost, which I think is
interesting. But. And from a.What I'm hearing is, you know, is
from a purpose perspective.
(30:43):
Yes, I am seeing that. And I'malso seeing where people are not
relying solely on theiremployer for purpose. So it's like,
okay, I'm gonna do what I dohere in my workplace, and hopefully
that can be part of myfulfillment for purpose contributions.
But I'm going to find otheropportunities to do that outside
(31:06):
of my main place of employmentas well.
Yeah, yeah. Well. And that'snot to say let's not. Let's not let
companies off the hook withproviding purpose, too. Right. So
I was literally in a coachingconversation yester with. With someone
who. I'll make it as genericas I can, but they work in the healthcare
industry, and so their abilityto kind of hang their hat on what
(31:30):
they're doing from a positivepatient outcome perspective, at the
end of the day, you know, iswhat keeps them. What keeps them
going. Right. And, you know,that. That is still something that
I think companies try toprovide, that North Star. And I think
people still resonate withright now. Does everybody resonate
(31:52):
with that? No. We have tocreate. And I think that's what's
also important is, you know, Ithink was it. I'm sure it comes from
somewhere else, but CoachBeard and Ted Lasso who said, you
know, all people are differentpeople. Right. You know, so I think
there's the, you know, there'sgood. Risk is the wrong word, but
a good gamble to put in placeto say, let's get, you know, as an
(32:13):
organizational leader, let'sgive people this company's. Why?
Because that will get. Thatwill resonate with a good chunk of
the population, even if itdoesn't resonate necessarily with
everybody. You know, somepeople, they're in it for the job
because to your point, theyhave purpose, you know, elsewhere
too. Right. So I think. Yeah.You know, now I don't. I don't want
to let my aside here at theend say we're letting companies off
(32:36):
the hook with providing somelevel of vision behind the why that
people can get behind.
Yeah. And oftentimes whenpeople get clear on their own individual
why, they can find a way toalign that and ladder it up to a
company's why. And so it makesthem that much more impactful, like
they're gonna be a muchstronger performer when they do that.
(33:00):
So it is really in thecompany's best interest to help people
uncover their individual why,and then they'll apply it in every
facet of their work. I go backto that example that I'd shared about
myself for a while, which was,I'm a spark that lights the fire
in others. So every day Ishowed up with that intention at
work. And did the companybenefit from that? You bet they absolutely
(33:25):
did. And had I been workingfrom that purpose of I'm a soldier
for heart and humanity, wouldthe company have benefited from that.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So. So there is a way, onceyou get clear on your own purpose,
to fit that into the legacythat you will leave at that company
(33:45):
that you're working with.
Yeah. Well, so let me. Let mecredit you. And then I'm going to
move us into our advice columnsection here, which is I honestly,
I would say, you know, that isprobably what resonated the most
with me about you and, youknow, why I've stayed connected with
you, you know, since then aswell. Right. I think that resonates
(34:06):
with people when you have astrong purpose and why it just resonates
with people. Right. And Ididn't report to you. I wasn't in
your group. We worked togetheron a couple things, you know, project
wise. But you know, the. So tothat extent. Right. The impact, you
might have an impact on allkinds of people that aren't even
sort of organizationallyconnected. Right. To you as well.
(34:30):
So I think it's that rippleeffect that you can have on people.
So I'm going to move us intoour advice column that I like to
call it as if this is anewspaper. So I ask everyone to prepare
one piece of advice forleaders and stepping up their game.
So what is your advice forleaders out there who are listening?
(34:51):
Okay, so there's threequestions that I go to really regularly
with leaders when they'retalking through, you know, preparing
for bigger upcoming kind ofmeetings, or it might be town hall
or some kind of a biggervenue, or it might be. Just be something
that they might know that it'sa difficult conversation. And there
(35:15):
are these three questions Ialways start with, how do you want
others to feel? And whateverthey say, it's like you go into that
feeling that way yourselfbecause the energy that you give
off in that conversation,others will receive that. So if you
want them to feel that way,give it yourself and don't assume
(35:39):
they're gonna feel that way.You might have to say it like, I
want you to feel supported, orI want you to feel energized by this.
Like, tell them and then whatdo you want them to know? Is the
second question that you can'tassume that people know what you
want them to know. So beingvery deliberate of, here's how I
(36:01):
want you to feel, here's whatI want you to know. And so it could
even be something like, thereason I share that with you is because
I want you to know threepoints or whatever it is. And then
the final piece, bring it homewith, what do you want them to do.
Yeah. Nice.
So if you can do those threethings, you are intentionally owning
(36:24):
the leadership experience thatyou are creating with one other person,
with a team or with a big townhall kind of venue that you might
be in.
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Sowhat do you want them to feel? What
do you want them to know? Whatdo you want them to do? I love that.
I think that's some goodgrounding questions. So for those
(36:45):
who are supporting leaders instepping up their game, what's your.
Advice for them moving some ofthese legacy questions into your
conversation? So it might besomething like, what do you want
your impact to be here? Whatdo you want to be known for? This
feeds into a bigger legacyduring your time here, what do you
want your legacy to be? Sosprinkle in some of those questions
(37:10):
when you're in day to daycoach, like conversations with leaders
who you support.
Nice. I love it. And so forthose who would like a little more
Lorelai Whitney in theirlives, where can they find you? What
are you hoping people, youknow, what do you hope your phone
is ringing off the hook for?
So we do executive coaching,we do work with leadership teams
(37:34):
and then we have a leadershipdevelopment academy that has five
different modules within it.The leadership legacy is one of the
modules. So these can bestandalone or part of a more of a
comprehensive leadershipprogram. So you can follow me on
LinkedIn to be able to seeregular updates that I put out there.
The other way would be goingto the website, so it's waveleaderconsulting.com
(38:00):
and that will be a place to beable to look through all that we
do. You could sign up for anupcoming newsletter if you wanted
to have a conversation. Youcan put a note on there to connect
and then I can follow up.
Perfect. Well, I will link toall of that in our show notes as
well as you know, theinevitable post that I will put out
on LinkedIn for your episode.I am ready to move forward with a
(38:23):
bit more purpose today. SoLorelei, thank you for agreeing to
come on the podcast. I had alovely conversation with you, so
I really appreciate it.
Likewise, Kent. Thank you so much.
Yeah, take care. That bringsus to the end of our episode. Thanks
for listening. I'd encourageyou to head on over to my website,
Kent Coach and start aconversation with me there. Or check
(38:44):
out my promotion playbook atKent Coach Playbook. Before you go
on with your day, I ask youplease take a moment to leave a rating
and a review wherever youlisten to podcasts. Five stars. That
helps put this podcast infront of more eyes and ears. Until
next time. Take it easy.
Someone nearing retirementsays, I'm a sower of seeds for the
future in every step I take.So every single thing they do, they're
sowing seeds that they mightnot even see the fruit of, but they're
sowing seeds for the future.At the beginning of the day, one
should always start with thatlegacy statement to help them be
(00:27):
very intentional about theirmeetings, about their interactions,
and then things outside ofwork as well, and how they'll live
their life. It's like anaffirmation, a form of affirmation,
which I used to think werereally cheesy, honestly, but I see
them being really impactful.When you look at it from the lens
of what am I here to do?
(00:48):
Hi there and welcome to theStep Up Expert Voices for Leadership
Growth. I'm your host, KentKnievel. Every week I talk to experts
who focus on helping leadersstep up their leadership game. If
you're new to the show, thenon whatever platform you're using,
I encourage you to subscribeso you never miss an episode. One
last thing. As a leadershipdevelopment consultant and executive
coach, I have a particularinterest in supporting recent internally
(01:10):
promoted leaders. If that'syou, or if you support a leader who
has been recently promoted, Iencourage you to visit my website
at Kent Coach Playbook anddownload a free copy of my 90 day
blueprint filled withpractical advice for you or the leader
you support in hitting theground running and truly stepping
up to their new leadershiplevel. Without further ado, on with
the show. Welcome, everybody.Today we are talking about your leadership
(01:36):
legacy. And with me for theconversation today is Lorelai Whitney.
She's the CEO and founder ofWave Leader Consulting and Coaching.
Lorelai, thank you for joiningme today.
Hi, Kent. Thank you. And it'sso good to be back with you.
Likewise. So really excited toget into our topic today, but first,
I want to hear about yourcareer story. You know, walk us through
(01:58):
whatever level of detail youwant. But, you know, what's. What's
been your career arc? How didyou get into what you're doing today?
You know, I'll tell the careerstory in a way that it relates very
much to the topic ofleadership legacy.
Perfect.
So I spent about 20 years ofmy career in a large global manufacturing
(02:18):
company. You were there.That's where our paths had crossed.
And I was in various HRleadership roles. And then for a
while then moved intodiversity, equity, inclusion, and
leading, a large part of thatfor the organization. And it was
a phenomenal career, aphenomenal company. And I always
(02:38):
had this inkling in the backof my mind that I wanted to go and
do coaching and consulting andlike this entrepreneurial spirit
of wanting to go and dosomething else. But that was not
the least bit practicalbecause we've got four kids, my husband's
a stay at home dad. And solike a steady, reliable job was definitely
(03:02):
the predictable way to go andjust felt more comfortable. And then
we took a family vacation. Andon that family vacation we were in
a different country and wewere by the ocean. And I love to
surf. I'm not good at it, Ionly do it a few times a year. And.
And so my daughter and I, myoldest daughter and I went down to
(03:23):
the beach and you could tellit was going to be a really good
swell coming in because therewas a professional photographer who
is set up on the beach, somereally strong surfers there. And
I had a board and I wascatching the waves close to shore.
Like after they broke, I wouldcatch the waves and I would ride
them in. And my daughter, Ihad said to her, like, you stay waist
(03:48):
deep, don't go any deeper thanyour waist. And so she'd be cheering
for me as I catch a wave andride it in. And then I look over
and I don't see her thereanymore. And I turn and I look out
into the water and I could seethis round circle of a head. And
I knew that had to be her. Andwhere that was, I also knew I couldn't
(04:12):
get to. I did not have theability to get there. And if I could,
we didn't have the time. Sothe only thing that I could think
of is there's a professionalphotographer who was on the beach.
And so I ran up to him and Isaid, I need help, my daughter's
out there. And so he startedwhistling to any experienced surfers
(04:35):
to come. And there was thisone person who ran up to me, right
by my side. And I will alwaysremember so vividly what this person
looked like. He had dark skin,dark hair with some gray speckles
in the hair. He had on a dark,short sleeved swim shirt, white swim
trunks, and one of those shorttrick surfboards. And we start walking
(05:00):
out into the water together.And then I could not find that round
circle of a head. I keeplooking and looking and nothing.
And I thought, how can I leavethis country without my child? And
will I ever have her body forclosure? And I yelled out, I said,
(05:21):
God, please don't take her.And it wasn't too long after, but
I saw the head come up. And soto the person next to me. I said,
she's there. And he went outto her and she was so exhausted that
she couldn't hold herself onthe surfboard because he was trying
(05:42):
to bring her in on his board.And so he put her on his back and
he brought her in. And Ilooked at him and I said, thank you.
And I gave my daughter, whowas 11 at the time, I gave her a
great big hug. And then Ilooked to the person next to me and
I'd never heard his voiceonce. He had never said a single
(06:04):
word to me. And he just lookedat me with this expressionless face
and dark eyes. It was likethere's a gravity of he knew what
just happened. And he turnedand he started running away. And
I watch him running away andas he's going across the sand and
(06:25):
going diagonally towards thewater, I realize his feet don't touch
the ground. And then I noticeas he enters the water and towards
the horizon, he literallyfades away. So we had this miraculous
experience of what I believean angel who came and saved the life
(06:45):
of our 11 year old daughterand saved our whole family because
I don't know how we would havecome back from that. And that was
such a huge awakening momentof the fragility of life and what
really matters. So a whileafter that, for the next year, of
course I didn't sleep thatnight. The next day, I mean, both
(07:08):
my daughter and I were reallyshook. But I remember talking with
her on the way back to thebeach the next day and I said, things
are going to change. Somethings are going to be different.
And I didn't know what thatwas exactly. I just knew that there
needed to be some change. Andshortly after that, it became clear
(07:30):
that I was meant to go andserve more leaders, more teams, more
organizations. And that wasliving into a purpose and living
into a legacy that I wasbrought here for. And I share this
story because every single oneof us has a distinct purpose that's
(07:52):
part of a greater legacy. Andthat purpose may shift from different
time to time in our career,but it's all part of that bigger
leadership legacy picture ofhow we will live our life and how
we will live in our careers.So part of the work that I do today
is working with leaders tohelp uncover what is the legacy that
(08:15):
they want to leave and how dothey live more impactfully in all
facets of their life, work andoutside of life or outside of work
into their legacy.
I love it. So not the firsttime I've heard your story and it
never gets old and gives mechills every time. So thank you for
(08:37):
sharing that. So I love thatthis was like a big moment of clarity
for you that's propelled youinto. Right. What you're doing now.
So let's, let's dive intoleadership legacy. Right, so what,
what has made you. You know, Iknow it's not the only focus in what
you do, but it, but I thinkit's, it's a big passion area for
(08:59):
you. So what has sort ofguided you into consulting and coaching
around leadership legacy?Where do you, how do you determine
to focus on that with leaders?Where do you start?
Yeah, well, I think you canonly take people as far as you have
gone yourself. So that's oneof the things. When I'm working with
(09:20):
leaders and leadership teams,if you want to take your people further,
if you want to grow them, ifyou want them to transform, evolve,
grow the business to newheights, you can only take them there
if you're willing to go thereyourself. So part of the work in
working with leaders isdiscovering what is the impact that
(09:42):
they want to makeindividually. Always starting with
the individual first. And thenthere's the collective. What's the
impact that we want to make asa team, as a leadership team. And
then that cascades andtranscends and ripples throughout
the rest of the organization.So one of the places that we might
start as an individual andthis might be in the context of doing
(10:05):
it together as a team, or itcould be one on one through coaching
is discovering what are yourpassions and what is your purpose.
And so there's some questionsthat we'll ask to get into that.
And so it could be like, whatwere the best days of your life where
you felt so fully alive? Whatwere you immersed in? What were you
(10:27):
doing? Or something like, whatpulls at your heart, what makes you
so angry that it might evenbring you to tears? What could you
spend years of your lifededicating yourself to through some
of the most difficult momentsand resistance and pushback, but
at the end, it would all beworth it. So those are the kind of
(10:50):
things that can help youdiscover, what am I passionate about?
And then on purpose, it's whatdo you want to be known for? What
do you want your fingerprintsto be on? When you look back at the
end of what hopefully will bea really amazing period of time here,
what do you want your impactto be? And it might be what can you
(11:11):
no longer tolerate? Because ifit's something you can no longer
tolerate, then you've probablygot a lot of energy and purpose to
pour yourself into it. Sothose kind of things can help the
beginning of trying to uncoverwhere is someone's passion and where's
their purpose, which then canhelp discover what is my legacy.
(11:33):
If they're kind of trying tofigure out where do I go from here.
Yeah, yeah.
And then getting clear on thatbold leadership legacy which might
evolve in different seasons ofyour life. So for one person, it
might be my bold leadershiplegacy is raising kids who care for
(11:56):
others, who know how to showlove and respect and honor values.
That might be someone'sleadership legacy for this portion
of their life. For anotherperson it might be, you know, I create
innovative products andsolutions that help make people's
(12:16):
lives better and might evenhelp save lives for others if they're
nearing the end of theircareer. It might be, I'm a developer
of the next generation talentand so I'm going to grow them through
all of my skills andexperiences to make sure that this
next generation is even betterthan what I could ever do.
(12:38):
I love that. So I've gonerecently, I've gone through and it's
given me a lot to think aboutbecause there's different ways to
do it too. I've gone throughsort of the seven, what's your seven
layers of why kind ofactivity. Right. How do you keep
peeling that back? Right. Andso it sounds very similar to that
last piece that you're talkingabout here, which is like, what is
(12:58):
that why for you? And onething I'd add, because I think people
avoid this out of this thing.I'm about to say avoid this out of
a fear of seeming. I don'tknow if it's self indulgent or too
commercial or whatever it is,Right. But when I was going through
this, the person that waswalking us through this even specifically
(13:21):
said, hey, give yourselfpermission to say, I want to make
gobs of money, but then justgo deeper. Well, why? What does that
unlock for you? Right? And youknow, I found that to be a, you know,
a fun. Even if, even if that'snot right, I just like to wedge that
in there to say, well,sometimes your why might be I want
to make enough money tosustain my family so that we can
(13:46):
do these types of things, sothat we can plan for these kinds
of things in our future. Sothat. Right. So I'd say like my own
personal, like, why journeysort of ended with like, because
that's what a well lived life,you know, would look like to me.
Right. But I like, I Likewhere you're starting here. Because
I, I think both figuring outwhat matters to you, what do you
(14:08):
want to pour yourself into isa different angle. But what, what,
what you said just kind ofbrought up this other angle that
I kind of wanted to wedge inthere as well.
Yeah. When you're living inyour leadership legacy, everything's
not going to come easy.
Yeah.
Like, you might have somereally difficult setbacks, you might
hit some tough resistance thatyou need to persevere through. So
(14:29):
to your point, you have to beclear on your why. Viktor Frankl
has this incredible quote fromA Man's Search For Meaning. It's
something like when you knowyour why, you can endure almost any
what, like anything that mighthappen to you. And he was one of
(14:49):
the survivors of theHolocaust, and so he had a very clear
why on what ultimately got himthrough what's a horrific experience.
Yeah.
But back to the financialpiece, someone's legacy might start
with, I want to be reallyfinancially successful. And to that
(15:11):
point of, well, what'sunderneath of that? Well, because,
you know, no one in my familylineage ever was able to graduate
from college.
Right.
And there were differentgenerational histories of addictions
or hardships that I want tochange the trajectory for, and I
(15:33):
want to be able to pass onwealth to those future generations.
That's a whole different pieceof. Well, I want to be really financially
well off.
Yeah. Yeah. Well. And I thinkit's. It's all about. And I think
that it's, you know, kind ofgoing back to the process you were
walking us through. Part of itis getting really honest with yourself.
(15:54):
Right. What, what is theimpact you really want to have? Why?
And why. Why does it reallymatter to you? Right. And I think
just throwing that out thereto say, you know, don't censor yourself
with that kind of work. Right.Be. Get really honest with yourself
about what matters to you. Youdon't have to share it with anybody
necessarily. Right. But if, ifyou can get really clear with yourself
(16:14):
to your point on the, youknow, on the worst days, you can
hang, you know, you can stillhang your hat on why, why you are,
you know, doing this, what isyour purpose. I love that. So how
has that been for you kind ofworking people through, you know,
before we get on to the nextpart of it here? Like how, you know,
(16:34):
how. What have you seen peoplestruggle with or even glom onto when
you're working people throughthat process?
You know, one of the biggestchallenges, I think, is that giving
yourself permission. Often wesee ourselves so much smaller than
what's possible. And then whatwe're capable of, that might be one
(16:55):
part of it. So we get so stuckin our own head around, well, I can't
really do that. And so some ofthose self sabotaging ways of thinking.
Now on the other side of that,there also might be just a radical
humility where it's like,well, I don't want to put myself
out there so much becausethat's not me to be in the spotlight.
(17:19):
Yeah.
And the reality is if youdon't look at what the rest of the
world is missing out on, lookat the impact that is left on the
table untouched will not existbecause you're not putting yourself
out there. So those are acouple of really more common challenges
(17:42):
that people face and totallyunderstandable. I think we can all.
Anyone listening, you, me,like, we can all think of times where
we have been there in eitherone of those mindsets.
Yeah, yeah. Well, and I likekind of going back to where you started,
which is you kind of have tostart here, right. If before you
get to the. All right, so howdo I want to show up as, as a leader?
(18:02):
How do I want to lead people?How do I want to bring the best out
of my company, myorganization, my people? So take
me through the. So where doyou go with people next as they,
you know, starting withyourself now, focusing external.
And where do you bring them next?
Yeah, and I love that you saidfocusing external because that is
(18:24):
what leadership legacy is.It's getting all out of wrapped up
in yourself. And instead whatam I doing to serve others? What
am I doing to make someone orsomething else better and realizing
that that means more than yourown comfort. Because I could have
(18:44):
stayed very comfortable inprevious work, previous jobs, and
have done some incrediblyimpactful work. Yet there was greater
impact on the other side. Butthere needed to be a push to move
out of that comfort intocompletely unknown territory. So
(19:07):
after we get some clarityaround what do you want your bold
leadership legacy to be, youneed to get excited about it, like
really excited about it in away that you can read it every single
morning and it makes you situp a little taller. So while I was
(19:27):
in some other roles I'd comeup with, my legacy was I'm going
to be the spark that lightsthe fire in others. So every single
day that was what I was out todo on a mission to do. And that might
have been through oneinteraction with someone. It might
have been through maybe I wasworking on some kind of a policy
(19:49):
it could have been through alarger team meeting, but no matter
what, every single day I wasgoing to be the spark that lights
the fire in others and thatshows up at home too, and with friendships
and communities. So it's likepart of this legacy is you look at
how can this happen throughall facets of my life now my legacy
(20:12):
is I'm a soldier for humanityin workplaces and in the world. And
so that's what we do in thebusiness I lead, is we bring more
humanity into workplaces andinto the world. But some teams that
I've worked with, like, here'ssome examples of legacies that they've
come up with. Someone who is anew parent, she said, I'm an architect
(20:35):
of tomorrow, building avirtuous and loving future. Like
that new mom is an architectof tomorrow. That's amazing. A mid
career innovation managersays, I'm a catalyst for positive
change, enhancing lives withevery single product that I make.
(20:56):
They're a catalyst for changeand they're enhancing lives with
everything they touch.
Nice.
Someone nearing retirementsays, I'm a sower of seeds for the
future in every step I take.So every single thing they do, they're
sowing seeds that they mightnot even see the fruit of, but they're
sowing seeds for the future.And so those are a few examples.
(21:19):
And I think at the beginningof the day, one should always start
with that legacy statement tohelp them be very intentional about
their meetings, about theirinteractions, and then things outside
of work as well in how they'lllive their life. It's like an affirmation,
a form of affirmation which Iused to think were really cheesy,
(21:42):
honestly, but, but I see thembeing really impactful. When you
look at it from the lens ofwhat am I here to do?
Yeah. Well, what I think it isthough is it's intentionality, right?
There are so many, andthere's, there's so many paths to
help people buildintentionality, right? This is just
one of them, you know, becauseI think time and time again in both
(22:04):
sort of the coaching work andthe leadership development work that
I do, you know, you, youeither, you know, a handful of people
land in a class you'reteaching or land on the other side
of a zoom call or a table, youknow, for coaching. And you know,
what I end up seeing is peoplewho, with the best of it intention,
but frankly unintentionally,right. Showing up every day, trying
(22:28):
to check the boxes, get thingsdone, do a good job, but a lot of
things Especially when itcomes to leadership development in
general, I find. Right. A lotof things come down to in, you know,
being more intentional aboutwhat you're doing and how you're
doing it. Right. I think what,what you, what you're talking about
here is going all the wayupstream first. Right. Which I love.
(22:52):
I don't know. I mean, the, themetaphor of, you know, the upstream,
downstream thinking. Right.The, you know, this, this guy keeps
kind of rescuing kids from ariver who are like, floating down
the river. And his friendstarts. I'm probably butchering this.
Right. But his friend startsrunning up the stream. He's like,
hey, what are you doing? We'retrying to, you know, save these kids
here. He's like, I'm running.I'm going up upstream to find the
(23:15):
person who's throwing thesekids in the river to begin with.
Right. So, you know, you're.You're talking about really starting
at this core upstream, kind offrom doing to being right. Perspective
of, you know, leading, if notliving with intentionality.
Yeah. Yep. Well said. And inall facets of life. And when we can
(23:42):
do that in the workplaceswhere we, when we can help people
understand their biggerpurpose and their bigger impact in
the world. In the workplaces,it's upstream. It's like you're touching
hearts, you're moving people.You're connecting first with the
(24:04):
heart, then with the head, andthen they're going to move the feet
to walk through any mountainthat might come their way. So imagine
the complex problems, thechallenges that people could solve
in the workplace quicker,better if you're to catch it upstream
(24:26):
by helping to invest in whothey are and how they will be like,
you're just going to avoid alot of the downstream stuff, and
when it needs to happen,they're going to be incredible what
they can do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. I'dimagine that there's times where
this is not the easiest ofprocess for people to work through.
(24:48):
So how. Right. Because you'reasking them for the first time, in
some cases. Right. The firsttime ever. To just like, pause for
a second. Second. And yeah, Iknow you want to talk about how to
hold people accountable betteror how to gain more influence your
organization. But let's. Let'stake a step back here. Right. I'd
imagine whether or not it is,you know, intentional resistance
(25:09):
of. Well, that's not what Iwant to learn, but there's probably.
I bet some people have justsome initial resistance to going
that deep. Right. So how. Howdo you work people through Giving
themselves permission, Iguess, to pause and go a little deeper.
So there's a couple ofdifferent routes depending on what
(25:29):
angle you're coming from here.So there are times where, you know,
it's a, it's a keynoteworkshop and this is the purpose.
So they come with some prework in advance and they know what
to expect. And so then it'spretty direct to be able to guide
through together. And it'samazing when it's a shared learning
(25:50):
experience and community whois there to support one another along
the way. So that's probablythe easiest scenario of how to get
someone to explore this forthemselves. The other might be in
the one on one coaching. Andwhen we're starting the coaching
(26:10):
relationship, you have some ofthose questions that you ask of,
you know, what does successlook like for you? What would you
like to get out of this? Andthen I'll ask them about leadership
legacy there. And so if theyoutline that as part of one of their
leadership goals, then that isa way to then start bringing it closer
(26:33):
and closer to that through ourconversations. If that's not an area
of focus that someone has, youcould do like a light version. The
right version would bethroughout the conversations, taking
a step back, saying, hey,let's just look at this from a different
angle. What's the impact thatyou want to have? How do you want
(26:56):
to be remembered? And youmight even ask the legacy question,
you know, you're here in thistime and place for this, whatever
it is that's in front of them.What do you want your legacy to be
while you're here? And thenyou don't necessarily go through
the whole thing all at once,but it does prompt a very different
type of thinking and a verydifferent kind of answer.
(27:19):
I would imagine also that thisprobably really resonates with smaller
business owners, familybusiness owners, who especially those
that are, I mean, let's justcall it out, right? There is a huge
population of baby boomers whoare, especially in the entrepreneurial
small business, you know,space, who are probably knocking
(27:42):
on retirement store, right.And thinking about, you know, thinking
about legacy. Right. And soI'd imagine this resonates really
well with those people who arestarting to think about their legacies,
thinking about their exit planeven. Right. What am I leaving behind?
I can, I could just see thisreally resonating with that crowd.
Are you, I don't know, isthat, is that resonating with you?
(28:06):
Yeah, it does. And actuallythat was, I think it was that question
that I, that I asked invisiting A new potential client of
doing some work with one oftheir leadership teams. So they had
a. They had a. The CEO wasfairly new coming into his role.
The team was quiteestablished. He wasn't a new CEO,
but the team was quiteestablished. And as we were talking
(28:28):
about what he wanted to dowith the team, it was that question,
what do you want your legacyto be? He had shared later with his
leadership team. That's thequestion that I want us all to wrestle
with.
Yeah, yeah.
So I think it might have beenthat question that ended up having
them feel like I was the rightfit to work with them at the time.
(28:50):
Perfect.
But, you know, there's alsopeople who are, you know, at different
phases in their career whowouldn't be at the tail end or the
more, you know, looking atnext horizon. And it's all about
how do I make a difference andhow do I make an impact? And that
oftentimes being moreimportant than finances, and so equally
(29:16):
important to people who mightbe at other places in their career
that are just like, you knowwhat? I just want to do good work
and make an impact in the world.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I find a lotof people wrestling with that sort
of both in my personal andprofessional life. Right. I think
the pandemic was a. An eyeopening for a lot of people in terms
(29:39):
of what really matters. Right.When, you know, when the world had
sort of shut down, I think itcaused a lot of introspection, which
we're still seeing the rippleeffects from today. And that's one
thing I keep hearing peopletalk about is, you know, and I'll.
Let's just go specific tocareers and leadership for a minute.
(30:01):
I have heard more peopleasking the question of, do I, you
know, do I really want thatrole title? Those challenges when
I'm making a really goodimpact today and I'm really fulfilled
today. Right. Like, so, like.And I've talked with other consultants
(30:22):
about this too. Like, that,this, you know, people are. I don't
know. I don't have anyresearch to point to. Maybe it's
out there, maybe it's not.But, like, people are starting to
opt out of the leadershippipeline almost, which I think is
interesting. But. And from a.What I'm hearing is, you know, is
from a purpose perspective.
(30:43):
Yes, I am seeing that. And I'malso seeing where people are not
relying solely on theiremployer for purpose. So it's like,
okay, I'm gonna do what I dohere in my workplace, and hopefully
that can be part of myfulfillment for purpose contributions.
But I'm going to find otheropportunities to do that outside
(31:06):
of my main place of employmentas well.
Yeah, yeah. Well. And that'snot to say let's not. Let's not let
companies off the hook withproviding purpose, too. Right. So
I was literally in a coachingconversation yester with. With someone
who. I'll make it as genericas I can, but they work in the healthcare
industry, and so their abilityto kind of hang their hat on what
(31:30):
they're doing from a positivepatient outcome perspective, at the
end of the day, you know, iswhat keeps them. What keeps them
going. Right. And, you know,that. That is still something that
I think companies try toprovide, that North Star. And I think
people still resonate withright now. Does everybody resonate
(31:52):
with that? No. We have tocreate. And I think that's what's
also important is, you know, Ithink was it. I'm sure it comes from
somewhere else, but CoachBeard and Ted Lasso who said, you
know, all people are differentpeople. Right. You know, so I think
there's the, you know, there'sgood. Risk is the wrong word, but
a good gamble to put in placeto say, let's get, you know, as an
(32:13):
organizational leader, let'sgive people this company's. Why?
Because that will get. Thatwill resonate with a good chunk of
the population, even if itdoesn't resonate necessarily with
everybody. You know, somepeople, they're in it for the job
because to your point, theyhave purpose, you know, elsewhere
too. Right. So I think. Yeah.You know, now I don't. I don't want
to let my aside here at theend say we're letting companies off
(32:36):
the hook with providing somelevel of vision behind the why that
people can get behind.
Yeah. And oftentimes whenpeople get clear on their own individual
why, they can find a way toalign that and ladder it up to a
company's why. And so it makesthem that much more impactful, like
they're gonna be a muchstronger performer when they do that.
(33:00):
So it is really in thecompany's best interest to help people
uncover their individual why,and then they'll apply it in every
facet of their work. I go backto that example that I'd shared about
myself for a while, which was,I'm a spark that lights the fire
in others. So every day Ishowed up with that intention at
work. And did the companybenefit from that? You bet they absolutely
(33:25):
did. And had I been workingfrom that purpose of I'm a soldier
for heart and humanity, wouldthe company have benefited from that.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So. So there is a way, onceyou get clear on your own purpose,
to fit that into the legacythat you will leave at that company
(33:45):
that you're working with.
Yeah. Well, so let me. Let mecredit you. And then I'm going to
move us into our advice columnsection here, which is I honestly,
I would say, you know, that isprobably what resonated the most
with me about you and, youknow, why I've stayed connected with
you, you know, since then aswell. Right. I think that resonates
(34:06):
with people when you have astrong purpose and why it just resonates
with people. Right. And Ididn't report to you. I wasn't in
your group. We worked togetheron a couple things, you know, project
wise. But you know, the. So tothat extent. Right. The impact, you
might have an impact on allkinds of people that aren't even
sort of organizationallyconnected. Right. To you as well.
(34:30):
So I think it's that rippleeffect that you can have on people.
So I'm going to move us intoour advice column that I like to
call it as if this is anewspaper. So I ask everyone to prepare
one piece of advice forleaders and stepping up their game.
So what is your advice forleaders out there who are listening?
(34:51):
Okay, so there's threequestions that I go to really regularly
with leaders when they'retalking through, you know, preparing
for bigger upcoming kind ofmeetings, or it might be town hall
or some kind of a biggervenue, or it might be. Just be something
that they might know that it'sa difficult conversation. And there
(35:15):
are these three questions Ialways start with, how do you want
others to feel? And whateverthey say, it's like you go into that
feeling that way yourselfbecause the energy that you give
off in that conversation,others will receive that. So if you
want them to feel that way,give it yourself and don't assume
(35:39):
they're gonna feel that way.You might have to say it like, I
want you to feel supported, orI want you to feel energized by this.
Like, tell them and then whatdo you want them to know? Is the
second question that you can'tassume that people know what you
want them to know. So beingvery deliberate of, here's how I
(36:01):
want you to feel, here's whatI want you to know. And so it could
even be something like, thereason I share that with you is because
I want you to know threepoints or whatever it is. And then
the final piece, bring it homewith, what do you want them to do.
Yeah. Nice.
So if you can do those threethings, you are intentionally owning
(36:24):
the leadership experience thatyou are creating with one other person,
with a team or with a big townhall kind of venue that you might
be in.
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Sowhat do you want them to feel? What
do you want them to know? Whatdo you want them to do? I love that.
I think that's some goodgrounding questions. So for those
(36:45):
who are supporting leaders instepping up their game, what's your.
Advice for them moving some ofthese legacy questions into your
conversation? So it might besomething like, what do you want
your impact to be here? Whatdo you want to be known for? This
feeds into a bigger legacyduring your time here, what do you
want your legacy to be? Sosprinkle in some of those questions
(37:10):
when you're in day to daycoach, like conversations with leaders
who you support.
Nice. I love it. And so forthose who would like a little more
Lorelai Whitney in theirlives, where can they find you? What
are you hoping people, youknow, what do you hope your phone
is ringing off the hook for?
So we do executive coaching,we do work with leadership teams
(37:34):
and then we have a leadershipdevelopment academy that has five
different modules within it.The leadership legacy is one of the
modules. So these can bestandalone or part of a more of a
comprehensive leadershipprogram. So you can follow me on
LinkedIn to be able to seeregular updates that I put out there.
The other way would be goingto the website, so it's waveleaderconsulting.com
(38:00):
and that will be a place to beable to look through all that we
do. You could sign up for anupcoming newsletter if you wanted
to have a conversation. Youcan put a note on there to connect
and then I can follow up.
Perfect. Well, I will link toall of that in our show notes as
well as you know, theinevitable post that I will put out
on LinkedIn for your episode.I am ready to move forward with a
(38:23):
bit more purpose today. SoLorelei, thank you for agreeing to
come on the podcast. I had alovely conversation with you, so
I really appreciate it.
Likewise, Kent. Thank you so much.
Yeah, take care. That bringsus to the end of our episode. Thanks
for listening. I'd encourageyou to head on over to my website,
Kent Coach and start aconversation with me there. Or check
(38:44):
out my promotion playbook atKent Coach Playbook. Before you go
on with your day, I ask youplease take a moment to leave a rating
and a review wherever youlisten to podcasts. Five stars. That
helps put this podcast infront of more eyes and ears. Until
next time. Take it easy.
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