July 22, 2025 • 33 mins
Dr. Sarah Bridges, PhD, is the founder and leader of Bridges, with 25 years’ experience as a psychologist, executive coach, speaker, writer and leadership advisor. Dr. Bridges is known for offering challenging, yet practical, solutions to help people break through their own assumptions, discover their potential and build cohesive teams.
One of the key takeaways from our chat today is that it’s not about having a lack of resources; it’s really about figuring out your priorities. My mentor dropped that wisdom on me ages ago, and it still rings true: there are never resource problems, just priority problems. We dove into how starting with a clear understanding of where you're at can set the stage for effective personal development and coaching. We also riffed on the importance of alignment—not just with your own goals but also making sure everyone involved is on the same page about where you're starting from. Plus, we had some laughs while unpacking how to tackle those pesky distractions in our work lives, from tech interruptions to the good ol’ “let’s just have one more meeting” trap. So, kick back and enjoy as we explore the nitty-gritty of leadership growth and development!
Prioritizing where we start is key in effective leadership development, as discussed in this episode. Sarah Bridges, our expert guest, shares her journey into organizational consulting, revealing that it wasn't a predetermined path but rather a series of serendipitous events that led her there. With a background in psychology and years of experience, Sarah brings a wealth of knowledge about the intricacies of coaching and leadership. The conversation delves deep into the common pitfalls leaders face when it comes to assessing their skills and growth areas. One of the standout insights is the concept of misalignment in leadership expectations. Often, leaders think they are making substantial progress, while their supervisors might have an entirely different perspective. This disconnect underscores the importance of having candid conversations about current performance levels and aligning on what success looks like. Sarah's approach involves not just setting ambitious goals, but also understanding the starting line. By taking an honest inventory of where one stands, leaders can cultivate a clear path forward. The episode wraps up with practical advice for leaders and HR professionals alike, emphasizing the power of feedback and the importance of being engaged in the coaching process. Whether you're a leader or someone supporting leaders, this episode is a treasure trove of insights that can help you step up your game and foster a culture of growth and accountability.
Takeaways:
- One of my mentors once told me that there are never resource problems, only priority problems, which totally flipped my perspective.
- When setting goals, it's crucial to evaluate where you're starting from, not just where you want to go.
- We all share the same 24 hours in a day, so it's essential to prioritize effectively and delegate where possible.
- Coaching isn't just about identifying weaknesses; it's about understanding the context and realigning expectations between leaders and their teams.
- In coaching, gathering 360 feedback is key to understanding performance gaps and aligning on development goals for greater success.
- Creating an environment conducive to focus can significantly enhance productivity, so turning off distractions is a must.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
One of my mentors taught me along time ago, there are never resource
problems. They're justpriority problems. That really sticks
with me. If you skinny itdown, you always have enough. Now
you can say, that's reallyhard, that's people. All true, but
it's not a resource problem.And I challenge people to think we
(00:24):
need to look at what you'recramming in. We all have the same
hours and that can be reallyeye opening and helpful and lead
to things. Things likedelegation and so on.
Hi there and welcome to theStep Up Expert Voices for Leadership
Growth. I'm your host, KentKnievel. Every week I talk to experts
who focus on helping leadersstep up their leadership game. If
(00:45):
you're new to the show, thenon whatever platform you're using,
I encourage you to subscribeso you never miss an episode. One
last thing. As a leadershipdevelopment consultant and executive
coach, I have a particularinterest in supporting recent internally
promoted leaders. If that'syou, or if you support a leader who
has been recently promoted, Iencourage you to visit my website
at Kent Coach Playbook anddownload a free copy of my 90 day
(01:07):
blueprint filled withpractical advice for you or the leader
you support in hitting theground running and truly stepping
up to their new leadershiplevel. Without further ado, on with
the show. Welcome, everybody.Today we're here to talk about starting
with where you're at beforeimmediately diving into your development
or developing others for thatmatter. And with me today to talk
(01:29):
about this important and funtopic is Sarah Bridges, CEO, psychologist,
head of Bridges Consulting.Welcome, Sarah. Thank you for being
here today.
It is great to be here. I'mexcited to talk to you.
Awesome. Thank you. Well, I'dlove to start with, tell us a little
bit about your career storyand how you kind of got into ultimately
(01:51):
what you're doing today.
Well, like so many executivesthat I worked with, I had no plan
to go into organizationalconsulting. I didn't even know it
was a thing. But I did have alittle nature nurture in that I was
raised by a psychologist'sparents of the therapy variety and
so ended up going into gradschool for neuropsychology. I was
(02:12):
thinking I'd go the researchroute. Decided I'm not good alone
doing research. I'm much moreextroverted. And so when I was done
with my doctorate, I ended upjoining pdi, which is Korn Ferry
now, and working with a bunchof organizational psychologists and
really learning the trade ofdoing assessment and coaching and
(02:34):
teamwork. And I did that foryears. And then 25 years ago, founded
my own company, which isBridges Consulting, and work with
a great team and do many ofthe same things, but at larger scale.
Yeah. Nice. Nice. I can'tbelieve we. And maybe we did cover
this one time when we chatted,but that we. Maybe we both got our
start at.
(02:55):
I know. Yeah.
That's interesting. Notintentional that I keep having former
PDI ors and Korn Ferryconsultants on. It's just how pervasive
these companies.
Or it's the similarity bias.We do tend to like people. We have
something in common.
Yeah, I like it. Well, so whatwe wanted to talk about today was,
and I love how you wereputting this earlier, is just like,
(03:17):
how do we make sure that we'restarting with where we're at or where
the person is at, whether ornot we're talking about the. We being
coaches and coaching leadersor leaders who are coaching their
employees. Tell me a littlebit about why that keeps coming up
for you as an important areato remember to focus on.
Yeah, I mean, it certainlywasn't a brainstorm I had coming
(03:39):
out of the delivery room. Thisis something. Something really out
of experience. And it was thatone thing I noticed after a few years
of coaching, we tend to bepretty good at setting goals for
ourselves, for others. I knowthere's lots of research on how you
do it. Everything else, butpeople get it. You want to set something
you're shooting towards. WhatI learned in doing coaching, especially
(04:00):
when I had stakeholdersinvolved, is we'd be working towards
that goal. A person mightreally be making good progress. They'd
think they were there, and theboss thinks they haven't even gotten
out of the gate. I call it thedifference between starting line
and finish line as yourmetric. When you look at how far
I've come, I've gotten 30%better. Well, if boss is thinking
(04:21):
you should be at 95% andyou're now at the 40th percentile,
you're going to be far apart.And part of this comes from we don't
spend enough time reallytalking about what is the starting
point, where are you right nowrelative to what I need you to be
doing in these goals? And Ithink there's a lot of reasons it's
uncomfortable. We humans don'tlike, especially Midwestern, you
(04:44):
know, the conflict feelings.And so it's a lot easier to talk
about the future, to talkabout something that's amorphous
and not personal. But theproblem is it would be like one person
starting from California andone from Tennessee and why didn't
we get to New York at the sametime? You know, we, we didn't calibrate
(05:04):
on where when we werestarting. So that's where it came
from. And that's my interestin any kind of coaching in really
doing some robust discovery inthe first with 360 data, of course,
self report, least valid butinteresting. And then also some,
you know, some personalitytests so we can triangulate all of
(05:27):
that and really get a pictureof where are you right now.
Yeah, I'm going to pick yourbrain on a topic around this because
I think you're right. This isreally important. One observation
I have from also just doingassessments on the front end, right.
And even doing sort of bigrobust assessment center kind of
assessments where we're doingbusiness simulations, cognitives
(05:48):
personality tests. So this isgoing to be a slight segue, but I
have a feeling you've got anopinion on this. I have found when
we sit down then to talk aboutdevelopment and even today, you know,
as I'm starting with kind ofpost program coaching with some folks
is, you know, when we're like,all right, well let's talk about
what to focus on. I feel likecoming out of assessments it's really
(06:09):
easy for leaders, almost tooeasy for leaders to say, well let's
focus on whatever the worstscores were coming out of the assessment.
Right. And I feel like I findmyself often saying let's take a
step back. That might be, thatmight be worth chasing down, but
let's take a step back andreally think about your current context
(06:30):
and where you want to go andwhat feedback you're getting on the
ground. So I just be would becurious because I love doing assessments.
They can be really helpful forawareness building. But how are you
helping kind of bridge peoplebetween the assessment data as well
as their sort of real lifedata and experience and goals?
I mean it's such a greatpoint. And I've done coaching long
(06:53):
enough to watch the wholeswing from a total negativity bias
which all of us have in our,in our craniums to focus on what's
bad. And in fact when Istarted coaching one place it was
called coaching forconsequences and they couldn't figure
out why nobody signed up.Okay. That made me popular when I
(07:13):
was in the lunchroom and thenI feel like it swung very far the
other way. All you need to dois focus on your strengths. Well,
if there's a big derailingbehavior or something really underdeveloped
that's germane to what yoursuccess is based on, that's not gonna
get you there either. So I amwith you. I do not like it. If it's.
(07:34):
And we all do it, it isnegativity bias. So I'm low on these
three. We need to look at thecontext. Are they really critical?
Are they important? If theyare my belief, when it's not as natural,
get it up to neutral. We don'twant it to be something that's distracting.
We don't want it to besomething that's a hot topic. And
360. Nobody expects you to bean A player at everything. So it'll
(07:59):
be disproportionate what youget out of leveraging those strengths
more broadly. But I do youneed to also be aware if there's
something getting in the way.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Sokind of coming back to the theme
here of like, starting withwhere people are. Right. Because
I think it can be. I'll justpick on the question I was just asking.
Right. It'd be really easy tosay, okay, I need to get better at
(08:23):
influence. Let's dive in. Sowhen someone is coming to you with
that, with at least what theythink is an initial picture of what
they need to be working on,how are you working to sort of recalibrate,
take that step back, reallyassess where they're at before starting
to move forward.
Well, always with coaching,there is a robust verbal 360. They
(08:47):
pick the people. I interviewthem, get feedback that tells us
a lot on what's showing up.Now, it's always a combo of how you're
showing up with how theculture expects you to show up. So
it's not as simple as this isjust me, but you're in this culture,
so that's what matters. Ithink the testing is also helpful
because use influence. I havehad people say I have a huge problem
(09:10):
with influence. I look at thepersonality testing and it really
looks like it's an issuearound confidence or it's an issue
around being quiteintroverted. You might think that
sounds like semanticdifferences, but. But it's not. They
have different approaches thatwould be useful in addressing any
of them. And the other thingI'd say is sometimes people. It's
(09:33):
almost like I need apersonality transplant to become
extroverted and influencing. Iwork with people to say there's typically
a couple of key areas that aregoing to have a big impact. When
is influence really going tostand out? If we agree that is the
thing, it may be when you'rein certain leadership meetings, it
May be at certain times whenyou're speaking, it's not 24 7. And
(09:56):
that's a relief, too, to saythis is behaviors in certain contexts.
This isn't about changing whoyou are.
I love that. I don't want toat least a couple people that I've
been coaching who have said,like, I'm being told I'm too quiet
in certain meetings. Right.And so I've had to sort of walk through
the. Well, let's take a stepback and start with, do you agree
(10:19):
with that? And do you have asense of. Do you have a sense of
why? Right. And where thatconversation can go? And to your
point, hmm. Is this startingto go down a road of confidence or
just introversion or, youknow, various aspects that then that
kind of unlocks. All right,where are we. Where are we going
to go with this? How can Ihelp you get to the bottom of and
(10:40):
solve this?
And I'll just jump insometimes also, it's kind of like
people going to a physicianand saying, I have accident. It really
is why symptom looks the same.I mean, something similar happens.
And I'll give you an example.I'm coaching someone right this minute
who got a lot of feedback. Youdon't address issues of performance
(11:01):
on your team. Okay, fairenough. That was the perception as
we really dug through and evenlooked at his testing, what it really
is, first of all, he's verymethodical. But second of all, he
doesn't communicate what he isdoing. I'm not talking broadcast
who's having a problem atwork, but with his peers to say,
I see this. Here are thingsI'm doing. So the bigger thing for
(11:23):
him is a communication issue,to be proactive and transparent,
showing his work. I always sayif they don't. If you don't show
it, they don't know it. Andthere's got to be ways you can transmit
some of the things you're doing.
Yeah. Like in. In that case,it's not everybody's business what,
(11:43):
you know, you're specificallydoing, but what are. You know, how
do you help paint the picturethat you are working, you.
Are working on it? You cancertainly say that. Or yes, here's
the approach I'm taking.
Love it. I would love to hearsome other examples of, like, how
else are you as we thinkabout. And I'd love for you to share
(12:04):
how you put it earlier asyou're thinking about, does this
person even know what theywant to develop? How are you kind
of starting at a baseline ofUnderstanding where is this person
at today?
So after we get the 360 data,we get the testing data, we have
Boston HR giving input. And ofcourse the person giving input, we
have a pretty clear picture ofwhere they're starting and where
(12:27):
there's a misalignment,someone thinks they're great at it.
Other people are saying no. Itcould be back to that example I gave.
I'm not showing what I'm doingso legitimately I am doing it. But
often that is the mostpowerful moment, especially with
the stakeholders to figure outwhy are we misaligned, not on the
goal, but on where we are. AndI feel like some of the best part
(12:51):
of coaching happens rightthere to really dig into that, get
people synced, get synced onwhat the thing really is and then
move forward.
Yeah. One thing that I havefound, especially, you know, there's
a lot of really good, wellintentioned, well designed leadership
development programming outthere. And I think one thing where
(13:14):
this is where I think whencoaching is done well, it nails this
part for sure. But I thinkwhere a lot of learning programs,
if not intentional fall short,is around getting people to actually
experiment and do somethingdifferent on the job. Right. I think
that's where I think a lot ofcoaching can, you know, that's where
(13:37):
it might have an advantageover broader leadership development
programming. So I would loveto hear your thoughts on just getting,
you know, getting peoplebeyond consuming knowledge, which
is really easy. Reading a bookor attending.
It's so true. And I alwayssay, I mean, if insight was all we
needed, nobody would have highblood pressure. We'd all be in great
(13:58):
shape. Everybody would beterrific at work and perfect parents.
I mean it, it is a necessarybut largely not sufficient thing
to do. And that's KevinWilley, who I know you had saying
part of coachability is notjust, yes, I smile and take it well,
what am I doing with that? Andto me, that really is the magic in
(14:18):
coaching. And in many ways Ithink it's that. And I do leadership
development programs. It'soften so amorphous. Again, what am
I doing? I'm going to try tobe more influential or give more
feedback to my team. Andcoaching, we get nitty gritty. Where
will you get the highestpayoff for doing that? Who are you
going to do it with? How areyou going to do it? Let's role play
(14:40):
doing it. Send me a text afteryou've done it or give me a call
if it doesn't go well. Thatkind of hands on, really working
people to get specific becauseit's building behaviors first, it's
not acquiring a new trait. AndI think that is what makes coaching
so useful.
(15:02):
Yeah, I also think it might bewheeling us back towards the sort
of beginning of the process,so to speak, is those alignment conversations
with at the very least theperson is direct manager. Right.
If not, like, you know, in anideal world you probably would also
have their HR business partnerthere and or you know, talent manager
(15:24):
there who's also supportingthat leader's growth. But I think
there's also that. Yeah, and Iknow I'm kind of wheeling us back
a bit, but that importantconversation of regardless of even
the assessment data, even justdeciding what's important to work
on, is getting that alignmentwith the leader to say, well here's
what maybe in our firstcoaching session or two we've come
up with to say this is whatthe leader believes the person you're
(15:47):
coaching believes to be themost important things to be working
on and why and to take thatinto a conversation for even just
an alignment on what'simportant to be working on. Because
I think kind of going back to,you know, I was picking on assessments
earlier and as you weresaying, negativity bias, I think
that's yet another fail safein the process for are we working
(16:09):
on the truly highest leverageitems that even this person's supervisor
believes is going, you know,going to unlock more performance
or outcomes or career outcomes even.
That is absolutely it. I, asmuch as I love therapy and one on
one coaching out of thecontext of the organization, the
(16:29):
problem is we humans, me, you,all of us, we're not the best and
most reliable narrators. Andit's not because we're trying to
lie. It's because we havebiases and how we see ourselves.
And so I believe it's reallyjust mandatory that there's some
feedback coming in and thatyou have things like the boss saying
(16:49):
this is most important becauseI have had people think it's really
critical. I do. X boss doesn'tcare about that. That is not the
way to get into promotion. Andoften one of the most important parts
of the conversation is whatshould you stop doing? Which I don't
think we talk enough about.It's like we carry every level and
(17:13):
what we really need to do isget concrete around what we need
to shed because that gives us capacity.
That's such a great point. Ifeel like I talk to leaders at almost
every level about this. Itjust takes on a different flavor
of like the specifics at eachlevel. With this, the exact point
of what do you stop doing?Right? Because it's. It's challenging.
(17:35):
Especially, you know, it. Itall comes back to the leadership
pipeline. Right. The tome Ithink we all love from Sharon Trotter
and Noel of, you know, eachtransition, you have to shed that
old role title. What you felt,what plus what plus what equaled
success at that role. Youmight even have to let go of things
(17:57):
you were good at and loved todo. And it's such a trap that leaders
fall into, if not intentional,of sort of regularly rolling up their
sleeves and operating down alevel because they're just so used
to and comfortable with that.I'd love to hear your perspective
on how you've seen that takeshape. Right. Because I think you
(18:19):
were shaking your head. Yes,saying too, like, it's a challenge
at every. It shows up at everylevel. It's just the specifics of
what we're talking aboutchange a bit.
It shows up at every levelbecause it's a human trait to be
acquisitive, to take thingson, but not shed them. And part of
that is loss of aversion,which again is, you know, something
where we have an equallyweighed something we gain or something
(18:42):
we lose. We will always feelworse about the loss. And that's
something that we evolved tofeel it. It's something that helped
society and humans succeed.But it can cause real problems. And
you nailed it, especially whenit's something that has served me.
And this is where we need tobe nuanced about the strength data
too, because we can feel likeI've always been great at X. It can
(19:06):
be really hard to let that go.And it reminds me of Hemingway talked
about writing, you need tokill your darlings. Well, we all
have a lot of darlings we needto knock off, you know, to be able
to move forward. And I thinkthat's hard and a block. And I think
secondly, our brains lovethings that are familiar because
(19:27):
that's translated justsubconsciously as safe, something
new, big role. Especiallywhen, God forbid, someone says, be
strategic. I can just see myclient's cortisol go up. The problem
is it's not clear what itmeans to be strategic. So guess what?
Your brain, your brain stemsending out threat messages saying,
don't do it. And what do wedo? We turn back to what's familiar.
(19:50):
So it's got to be, and this isagain for coaching or even a good
leadership program, helpingpeople really walk through and instantiate
what that's going to mean.
Yeah, it's so funny. Some ofthe simple tools that can help people
with that. Right? It's somereally simple and I'd love to hear
what kind of how you helppeople work through that. But I know
(20:11):
for me there's just somereally simple paper and pencil kind
of activities you can doaround having people kind of write
down how they're spendingtheir time or track how they're spending
their time or even ideate tobegin with. How would you ideally
like to be spending your time?Let's forget about how you're spending
your time today. How else doyou help leaders work through kind
of uncovering, you know, whereand how they need to start letting
(20:34):
things go?
Well, I, I definitely go theroute you just talked about sometimes
just to get a baseline. Andagain, self report is terrible. I
mean, you know, 95% of peoplethink they're in the top half of
drivers. Most men ratethemselves as above average. Doesn't
work statistically. You know,you get into problems with that.
(20:56):
Yeah.
So what we do, I look at theircalendars, but I also ask them to
do what I think people do whenthey're doing food diaries, which
is not just have the plan, butwrite down anything that gets added.
The Snickers bar that comes inand the Snickers bar, those little
meetings. Oh, it was just 15minutes or I just went down a rabbit
hole on. We need to really geta grasp of what they're spending
(21:20):
time on. One of my mentorstaught me a long time ago, there
are never resource problems,they're just priority problems. And
that really sticks with me. Ifyou skinny it down, you always have
enough. Now you can say,that's really hard, that's people.
All true. But it's not aresource problem. And I challenge
(21:42):
people to think. And I don'tlike I need to manage time better.
It's not a time problem. Weneed to look at what you're cramming
in. We all have the same hoursand that can be really eye opening
and helpful and lead to thingslike delegation and so on.
I chuckled a little, maybe notaudibly, and I know it's not going
to be that helpful of a quote,but for a while it was popular to
(22:05):
say we all have the sameamount of time in the day as Beyonce
has.
Now that doesn't mean thatmakes us feel bad.
Now, that doesn't mean we allhave the same support structure that
she might have. But I thinkthat's a really good point. Right.
And I know in my own coachingpractice it's really simple, but
(22:25):
Eye opening activities.Sometimes when you're. Oh, when you're
just reviewing. How did youspend your time? Like the food diary
idea is a great idea too. Idon't, you know, is make sure you're
also writing down the D Agataminutes that you said yes to. Right.
Throughout the day.
Oh. Which in my experience isa huge chunk of what's happening.
(22:46):
Just an impromptu, you know,and there goes the day. And even
when they've blocked time forstrategic thinking, they haven't
thought through what thatmeans. So it's this big yawning gap.
So someone asks for a meetingand they schedule over it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you endup sinking that time on some other
(23:08):
less value added thing thanyou intended to. And suddenly now
I'm replying to emails thatprobably don't need to be replied
to either. Right.
So yeah.
How are you holding yourselfaccountable to using that time the
way you intend to? Well,before I give us a big shove into
our advice section, I just,you know, was there what else around
(23:30):
this topic kind of has you, Idon't know, keeps you up at night
or gets you excited to dig inwith coaches or people you're coaching.
This is not directly tied toalignment, but another area I'm really
interested in is environmentand the effect that has on people.
Environment, Maybe the people.It may be physical things, the sunlight,
(23:51):
the distance to things. It'seasy to think about with things like
trying to change food habits.I mean if you want to stop eating
sugar, take it out of yourhouse. You are not going to get in
the car and drive to 7 11. Imean odds are very low you will do
that. But if it's in thepantry, you'll grab it. And so how
can we think about that atwork as well? And simple things,
(24:15):
turning off devices that is inthe realm of don't have sugar in
your pantry. Thinking abouttimes I won't be interrupted versus
I'm going to try to resist theinterruptions. But really being thoughtful
about that. The people aroundus, being the social creatures we
are, have a huge, huge impacton us. And being thoughtful about
(24:37):
who are the inputs and arethey raising up my game or kind of
pulling me into things thataren't so great. Am I getting a diversity
of perspectives? And by that Ieven mean people in different functional
areas. You know, forcreativity and innovation. But really
thinking through those pieces.
Yeah, I'm so glad you broughtthat up. Right. And I think I love
(24:59):
the, you know, starting withthe example of, you know, I'm trying
to snack Class. Well, let'sget the snacks out of your house.
Right. I like that. I thinkit's all about bringing intentionality.
I would love to hear what aresome of the more common environmental
cues that you find yourselfcoaching people around.
(25:20):
One is definitely technologythat people say they're going to
do deep thinking or work on aproject, but they keep their phone
turned on, they keep emailbeeping. I know that's simple, but
first of all, it's ridiculous.Even if you do avoid it, you're degrading
your concentration horribly.And your attention, there's a. Is
switching costs. So that wouldbe a big one. The piece of doing
(25:42):
things first that require alot of hard thinking. That's something
most people know. Most peopledon't do. Really thinking through
physically where they're goingto be for some of the deeper thinking,
project work. And I have anumber of executives who will come
in maybe at 10 o' clockinstead of 8 and go somewhere. I
mean, literally everyone whogoes to a library, nobody's going
(26:04):
to bug him there, right. It'stotally quiet and just gets it done
and then can be present whenhe comes in. But really thinking,
thinking through those kindsof pieces.
Yeah, I like that. I've heard,you know, the innovative thinking
part that just makes me thinkof. I have heard people talking about
like, we need to get away fromour usual conference rooms or our
(26:27):
usual desks. Like even withcollaborative, innovative, creative
time, it's like, let's go sitin a different conference room in
a different part of thebuilding or you know, different building
and you know, the library.Love that idea.
No, and even bonus points, getoutside and walk if you can, or even
walk in the building. I mean,it's fascinating to look at brain
(26:49):
scans before and after a 15minute walk, the amount of oxygen
and blood flow, you can't missthe difference. And so talking with
someone while you're bothwalking can be really powerful. Also
on those.
Yeah, yeah. And if youstruggle with that, get a puppy.
You will have to walk. Yeah.
(27:10):
Actually that is one of thebest parts with dogs.
Yeah. Well, and I think, youknow, a really good point you're
making too here is, is thedevices, right? We have, you know,
I've got two devices rightnext to me that could bug me at any
moment. Right. So even, evenfor this pot now I have to do it
for certain reasons because oflike computer RAM and all that too,
(27:31):
just to maximize that. So it'slike even before I start a podcast,
I close everything down on mycomputer with the exception of this,
you know, this program. Buteven, you know, it's gotten worse
and worse over the years. ButI still remember getting good feedback
during either. It was possiblymy first time as a leader which was
like, hey, when you have a oneon one with someone, like, you know,
(27:55):
I don't think we even hadairplane mode at that time on phones,
but essentially like put yourphone on airplane mode and like lock
your computer. If not shutyour laptop and you know, turn towards
this person and give them yourfull attention. Right. And I think
that that's sort of what, whatyou reminded me of was. But. And
I'll aim it in this way whichis like, how are you giving your
(28:17):
attention to what actually matters?
Yes.
Right. Yeah.
I mean another mentor I havetalks about the secret to happiness
is where you point yourattention. And I think it's the secret
to so many things. Health, youknow, relationships, happiness, productivity.
But we just fritter it away.And I do too. So I'm not, I'm not
(28:41):
above everybody I'm talkingto. We need to be really mindful.
And this is back to theenvironment, shutting off the devices,
sometimes getting into adifferent room, going for a walk
because you're not going to beable to control it. It's a reward
system that's been activatedby these devices. Not going to happen.
Yeah. I feel like we learnmore and more about the importance
(29:04):
of presence. So I'll give youa quick quote and then we'll get
into the advice section too.Which is, I think I heard recently
it was like the opposite ofanxious is not. Not anxious. It's
actually the opposite ofanxious is presence. The opposite
of anxiety is being present.Which I thought was interesting as
well.
That's really nice.
(29:25):
I'm going to give us a violentshove into our, what I like to call
the advice column of the videoaudio format. So every week I ask
folks to prepare some advice.So I'll start with what's your key
advice for leaders out there, there?
And I think it really circlesback to what we talked about that
before embarking for myself onany kind of development or a team
(29:47):
member. Really spend the timeto honestly, candidly, thoroughly
establish where we are rightnow. If you're setting a goal, where
am I relative to that? And notjust remember, not just self report
on that. And we can reallyhelp our people by doing that so
they have a clear picture.Secondly, when we want to coach someone
(30:08):
else, let's say let's becareful about not diving into coaching
before we diagnose why this ishappening? Is this truly a motivational
problem? Is it a skill gap? Isthis something to do with someone's
just not self aware? Thosehave really different solutions and
we just missed the mark.There's a huge amount of wasted effort
(30:30):
and frustration around that.So taking the time to figure that
out. And then third, justwhether for me or for you or anybody,
when we want clear alignment,we can't be the only point of contact.
So formally, informally,getting some feedback from others
who will be honest and thendoing some testing.
(30:50):
Yeah. The one thing that youradvice made me think of too is the
power of sharing what you'reworking on with someone else and
how that also kind of addsaccountability to the picture too.
Right. So I think not onlyaligning with your leader perhaps
or a peer on what your goal isand where you're at today, not only
does that help you judgewhat's the gap really, but I think
(31:13):
probably also adds that bit ofaccountability too by having kind
of gone public with someone onwhat you're working on.
I love that. And that's alwaysa piece in coaching I do. And I'll
tell you, here's the otherreason that's in it for the coaching
client. One of the troublesthey face, you know, this is confirmation
bias. They can really shiftand people are still seeing the old
(31:35):
behavior. And to tell people,please look for essentially this
is something I'm reallyfocused on, can help speed up that
process.
Love it. Love it. All right,really quick, short piece of advice
for hr. Those who supportleaders, I would say.
Supporting leaders from mystandpoint as a coach, be involved
(31:59):
in all coaching programs. Beinvolved in the leadership development.
I really view you as theinternal coach, me as the external
coach. And so our philosophyis just the more they can be involved
with us, the better. And. Andplease advocate.
Yeah, love it. Cool. Allright, so our last section is sort
(32:21):
of the. If people want moreSarah Bridges in their life, how
can they find you? Get a holdof you. What else would you want
them to know about. About youand what you're doing?
So you can always get a holdof me. My name Sarah bridges.com
and I would say a new thingthat we're doing that's fun is twice
a year a retreat. At the firmthat I have in Lakeville, Minnesota,
(32:43):
we do have people who fly infor it. It's one day live and then
a year of monthly coaching.And it's really looking at our lives
holistically to be intentionalabout the next three to five years.
Very cool. And registration isopen now. Until when?
It is open now and the retreatis in September, so just reach out
if you are interested.
(33:04):
Awesome. So we'll definitelyhave this out in time for people
to kind of catch that news andregister if they're interested. Sarah,
this was a very funconversation, kind of talking about
some of the mechanics ofcoaching, which I really appreciated.
Had a great time myself. Justthank you so much for being here
today.
Oh, thank you for having me. Ialways love talking shop with another
(33:26):
in the field.
All right, thanks. That bringsus to the end of our episode. Thanks
for listening. I'd encourageyou to head on over to my website,
Kent Coach and start aconversation with me there. Or check
out my promotion playbook atKent Coach Playbook. Before you go
on with your day, I ask youplease take a moment to leave a rating
and a review wherever youlisten to podcasts. Five stars. That
(33:47):
helps put this podcast infront of more eyes and ears. Until
next time, take it easy.
One of my mentors taught me along time ago, there are never resource
problems. They're justpriority problems. That really sticks
with me. If you skinny itdown, you always have enough. Now
you can say, that's reallyhard, that's people. All true, but
it's not a resource problem.And I challenge people to think we
(00:24):
need to look at what you'recramming in. We all have the same
hours and that can be reallyeye opening and helpful and lead
to things. Things likedelegation and so on.
Hi there and welcome to theStep Up Expert Voices for Leadership
Growth. I'm your host, KentKnievel. Every week I talk to experts
who focus on helping leadersstep up their leadership game. If
(00:45):
you're new to the show, thenon whatever platform you're using,
I encourage you to subscribeso you never miss an episode. One
last thing. As a leadershipdevelopment consultant and executive
coach, I have a particularinterest in supporting recent internally
promoted leaders. If that'syou, or if you support a leader who
has been recently promoted, Iencourage you to visit my website
at Kent Coach Playbook anddownload a free copy of my 90 day
(01:07):
blueprint filled withpractical advice for you or the leader
you support in hitting theground running and truly stepping
up to their new leadershiplevel. Without further ado, on with
the show. Welcome, everybody.Today we're here to talk about starting
with where you're at beforeimmediately diving into your development
or developing others for thatmatter. And with me today to talk
(01:29):
about this important and funtopic is Sarah Bridges, CEO, psychologist,
head of Bridges Consulting.Welcome, Sarah. Thank you for being
here today.
It is great to be here. I'mexcited to talk to you.
Awesome. Thank you. Well, I'dlove to start with, tell us a little
bit about your career storyand how you kind of got into ultimately
(01:51):
what you're doing today.
Well, like so many executivesthat I worked with, I had no plan
to go into organizationalconsulting. I didn't even know it
was a thing. But I did have alittle nature nurture in that I was
raised by a psychologist'sparents of the therapy variety and
so ended up going into gradschool for neuropsychology. I was
(02:12):
thinking I'd go the researchroute. Decided I'm not good alone
doing research. I'm much moreextroverted. And so when I was done
with my doctorate, I ended upjoining pdi, which is Korn Ferry
now, and working with a bunchof organizational psychologists and
really learning the trade ofdoing assessment and coaching and
(02:34):
teamwork. And I did that foryears. And then 25 years ago, founded
my own company, which isBridges Consulting, and work with
a great team and do many ofthe same things, but at larger scale.
Yeah. Nice. Nice. I can'tbelieve we. And maybe we did cover
this one time when we chatted,but that we. Maybe we both got our
start at.
(02:55):
I know. Yeah.
That's interesting. Notintentional that I keep having former
PDI ors and Korn Ferryconsultants on. It's just how pervasive
these companies.
Or it's the similarity bias.We do tend to like people. We have
something in common.
Yeah, I like it. Well, so whatwe wanted to talk about today was,
and I love how you wereputting this earlier, is just like,
(03:17):
how do we make sure that we'restarting with where we're at or where
the person is at, whether ornot we're talking about the. We being
coaches and coaching leadersor leaders who are coaching their
employees. Tell me a littlebit about why that keeps coming up
for you as an important areato remember to focus on.
Yeah, I mean, it certainlywasn't a brainstorm I had coming
(03:39):
out of the delivery room. Thisis something. Something really out
of experience. And it was thatone thing I noticed after a few years
of coaching, we tend to bepretty good at setting goals for
ourselves, for others. I knowthere's lots of research on how you
do it. Everything else, butpeople get it. You want to set something
you're shooting towards. WhatI learned in doing coaching, especially
(04:00):
when I had stakeholdersinvolved, is we'd be working towards
that goal. A person mightreally be making good progress. They'd
think they were there, and theboss thinks they haven't even gotten
out of the gate. I call it thedifference between starting line
and finish line as yourmetric. When you look at how far
I've come, I've gotten 30%better. Well, if boss is thinking
(04:21):
you should be at 95% andyou're now at the 40th percentile,
you're going to be far apart.And part of this comes from we don't
spend enough time reallytalking about what is the starting
point, where are you right nowrelative to what I need you to be
doing in these goals? And Ithink there's a lot of reasons it's
uncomfortable. We humans don'tlike, especially Midwestern, you
(04:44):
know, the conflict feelings.And so it's a lot easier to talk
about the future, to talkabout something that's amorphous
and not personal. But theproblem is it would be like one person
starting from California andone from Tennessee and why didn't
we get to New York at the sametime? You know, we, we didn't calibrate
(05:04):
on where when we werestarting. So that's where it came
from. And that's my interestin any kind of coaching in really
doing some robust discovery inthe first with 360 data, of course,
self report, least valid butinteresting. And then also some,
you know, some personalitytests so we can triangulate all of
(05:27):
that and really get a pictureof where are you right now.
Yeah, I'm going to pick yourbrain on a topic around this because
I think you're right. This isreally important. One observation
I have from also just doingassessments on the front end, right.
And even doing sort of bigrobust assessment center kind of
assessments where we're doingbusiness simulations, cognitives
(05:48):
personality tests. So this isgoing to be a slight segue, but I
have a feeling you've got anopinion on this. I have found when
we sit down then to talk aboutdevelopment and even today, you know,
as I'm starting with kind ofpost program coaching with some folks
is, you know, when we're like,all right, well let's talk about
what to focus on. I feel likecoming out of assessments it's really
(06:09):
easy for leaders, almost tooeasy for leaders to say, well let's
focus on whatever the worstscores were coming out of the assessment.
Right. And I feel like I findmyself often saying let's take a
step back. That might be, thatmight be worth chasing down, but
let's take a step back andreally think about your current context
(06:30):
and where you want to go andwhat feedback you're getting on the
ground. So I just be would becurious because I love doing assessments.
They can be really helpful forawareness building. But how are you
helping kind of bridge peoplebetween the assessment data as well
as their sort of real lifedata and experience and goals?
I mean it's such a greatpoint. And I've done coaching long
(06:53):
enough to watch the wholeswing from a total negativity bias
which all of us have in our,in our craniums to focus on what's
bad. And in fact when Istarted coaching one place it was
called coaching forconsequences and they couldn't figure
out why nobody signed up.Okay. That made me popular when I
(07:13):
was in the lunchroom and thenI feel like it swung very far the
other way. All you need to dois focus on your strengths. Well,
if there's a big derailingbehavior or something really underdeveloped
that's germane to what yoursuccess is based on, that's not gonna
get you there either. So I amwith you. I do not like it. If it's.
(07:34):
And we all do it, it isnegativity bias. So I'm low on these
three. We need to look at thecontext. Are they really critical?
Are they important? If theyare my belief, when it's not as natural,
get it up to neutral. We don'twant it to be something that's distracting.
We don't want it to besomething that's a hot topic. And
360. Nobody expects you to bean A player at everything. So it'll
(07:59):
be disproportionate what youget out of leveraging those strengths
more broadly. But I do youneed to also be aware if there's
something getting in the way.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Sokind of coming back to the theme
here of like, starting withwhere people are. Right. Because
I think it can be. I'll justpick on the question I was just asking.
Right. It'd be really easy tosay, okay, I need to get better at
(08:23):
influence. Let's dive in. Sowhen someone is coming to you with
that, with at least what theythink is an initial picture of what
they need to be working on,how are you working to sort of recalibrate,
take that step back, reallyassess where they're at before starting
to move forward.
Well, always with coaching,there is a robust verbal 360. They
(08:47):
pick the people. I interviewthem, get feedback that tells us
a lot on what's showing up.Now, it's always a combo of how you're
showing up with how theculture expects you to show up. So
it's not as simple as this isjust me, but you're in this culture,
so that's what matters. Ithink the testing is also helpful
because use influence. I havehad people say I have a huge problem
(09:10):
with influence. I look at thepersonality testing and it really
looks like it's an issuearound confidence or it's an issue
around being quiteintroverted. You might think that
sounds like semanticdifferences, but. But it's not. They
have different approaches thatwould be useful in addressing any
of them. And the other thingI'd say is sometimes people. It's
(09:33):
almost like I need apersonality transplant to become
extroverted and influencing. Iwork with people to say there's typically
a couple of key areas that aregoing to have a big impact. When
is influence really going tostand out? If we agree that is the
thing, it may be when you'rein certain leadership meetings, it
May be at certain times whenyou're speaking, it's not 24 7. And
(09:56):
that's a relief, too, to saythis is behaviors in certain contexts.
This isn't about changing whoyou are.
I love that. I don't want toat least a couple people that I've
been coaching who have said,like, I'm being told I'm too quiet
in certain meetings. Right.And so I've had to sort of walk through
the. Well, let's take a stepback and start with, do you agree
(10:19):
with that? And do you have asense of. Do you have a sense of
why? Right. And where thatconversation can go? And to your
point, hmm. Is this startingto go down a road of confidence or
just introversion or, youknow, various aspects that then that
kind of unlocks. All right,where are we. Where are we going
to go with this? How can Ihelp you get to the bottom of and
(10:40):
solve this?
And I'll just jump insometimes also, it's kind of like
people going to a physicianand saying, I have accident. It really
is why symptom looks the same.I mean, something similar happens.
And I'll give you an example.I'm coaching someone right this minute
who got a lot of feedback. Youdon't address issues of performance
(11:01):
on your team. Okay, fairenough. That was the perception as
we really dug through and evenlooked at his testing, what it really
is, first of all, he's verymethodical. But second of all, he
doesn't communicate what he isdoing. I'm not talking broadcast
who's having a problem atwork, but with his peers to say,
I see this. Here are thingsI'm doing. So the bigger thing for
(11:23):
him is a communication issue,to be proactive and transparent,
showing his work. I always sayif they don't. If you don't show
it, they don't know it. Andthere's got to be ways you can transmit
some of the things you're doing.
Yeah. Like in. In that case,it's not everybody's business what,
(11:43):
you know, you're specificallydoing, but what are. You know, how
do you help paint the picturethat you are working, you.
Are working on it? You cancertainly say that. Or yes, here's
the approach I'm taking.
Love it. I would love to hearsome other examples of, like, how
else are you as we thinkabout. And I'd love for you to share
(12:04):
how you put it earlier asyou're thinking about, does this
person even know what theywant to develop? How are you kind
of starting at a baseline ofUnderstanding where is this person
at today?
So after we get the 360 data,we get the testing data, we have
Boston HR giving input. And ofcourse the person giving input, we
have a pretty clear picture ofwhere they're starting and where
(12:27):
there's a misalignment,someone thinks they're great at it.
Other people are saying no. Itcould be back to that example I gave.
I'm not showing what I'm doingso legitimately I am doing it. But
often that is the mostpowerful moment, especially with
the stakeholders to figure outwhy are we misaligned, not on the
goal, but on where we are. AndI feel like some of the best part
(12:51):
of coaching happens rightthere to really dig into that, get
people synced, get synced onwhat the thing really is and then
move forward.
Yeah. One thing that I havefound, especially, you know, there's
a lot of really good, wellintentioned, well designed leadership
development programming outthere. And I think one thing where
(13:14):
this is where I think whencoaching is done well, it nails this
part for sure. But I thinkwhere a lot of learning programs,
if not intentional fall short,is around getting people to actually
experiment and do somethingdifferent on the job. Right. I think
that's where I think a lot ofcoaching can, you know, that's where
(13:37):
it might have an advantageover broader leadership development
programming. So I would loveto hear your thoughts on just getting,
you know, getting peoplebeyond consuming knowledge, which
is really easy. Reading a bookor attending.
It's so true. And I alwayssay, I mean, if insight was all we
needed, nobody would have highblood pressure. We'd all be in great
(13:58):
shape. Everybody would beterrific at work and perfect parents.
I mean it, it is a necessarybut largely not sufficient thing
to do. And that's KevinWilley, who I know you had saying
part of coachability is notjust, yes, I smile and take it well,
what am I doing with that? Andto me, that really is the magic in
(14:18):
coaching. And in many ways Ithink it's that. And I do leadership
development programs. It'soften so amorphous. Again, what am
I doing? I'm going to try tobe more influential or give more
feedback to my team. Andcoaching, we get nitty gritty. Where
will you get the highestpayoff for doing that? Who are you
going to do it with? How areyou going to do it? Let's role play
(14:40):
doing it. Send me a text afteryou've done it or give me a call
if it doesn't go well. Thatkind of hands on, really working
people to get specific becauseit's building behaviors first, it's
not acquiring a new trait. AndI think that is what makes coaching
so useful.
(15:02):
Yeah, I also think it might bewheeling us back towards the sort
of beginning of the process,so to speak, is those alignment conversations
with at the very least theperson is direct manager. Right.
If not, like, you know, in anideal world you probably would also
have their HR business partnerthere and or you know, talent manager
(15:24):
there who's also supportingthat leader's growth. But I think
there's also that. Yeah, and Iknow I'm kind of wheeling us back
a bit, but that importantconversation of regardless of even
the assessment data, even justdeciding what's important to work
on, is getting that alignmentwith the leader to say, well here's
what maybe in our firstcoaching session or two we've come
up with to say this is whatthe leader believes the person you're
(15:47):
coaching believes to be themost important things to be working
on and why and to take thatinto a conversation for even just
an alignment on what'simportant to be working on. Because
I think kind of going back to,you know, I was picking on assessments
earlier and as you weresaying, negativity bias, I think
that's yet another fail safein the process for are we working
(16:09):
on the truly highest leverageitems that even this person's supervisor
believes is going, you know,going to unlock more performance
or outcomes or career outcomes even.
That is absolutely it. I, asmuch as I love therapy and one on
one coaching out of thecontext of the organization, the
(16:29):
problem is we humans, me, you,all of us, we're not the best and
most reliable narrators. Andit's not because we're trying to
lie. It's because we havebiases and how we see ourselves.
And so I believe it's reallyjust mandatory that there's some
feedback coming in and thatyou have things like the boss saying
(16:49):
this is most important becauseI have had people think it's really
critical. I do. X boss doesn'tcare about that. That is not the
way to get into promotion. Andoften one of the most important parts
of the conversation is whatshould you stop doing? Which I don't
think we talk enough about.It's like we carry every level and
(17:13):
what we really need to do isget concrete around what we need
to shed because that gives us capacity.
That's such a great point. Ifeel like I talk to leaders at almost
every level about this. Itjust takes on a different flavor
of like the specifics at eachlevel. With this, the exact point
of what do you stop doing?Right? Because it's. It's challenging.
(17:35):
Especially, you know, it. Itall comes back to the leadership
pipeline. Right. The tome Ithink we all love from Sharon Trotter
and Noel of, you know, eachtransition, you have to shed that
old role title. What you felt,what plus what plus what equaled
success at that role. Youmight even have to let go of things
(17:57):
you were good at and loved todo. And it's such a trap that leaders
fall into, if not intentional,of sort of regularly rolling up their
sleeves and operating down alevel because they're just so used
to and comfortable with that.I'd love to hear your perspective
on how you've seen that takeshape. Right. Because I think you
(18:19):
were shaking your head. Yes,saying too, like, it's a challenge
at every. It shows up at everylevel. It's just the specifics of
what we're talking aboutchange a bit.
It shows up at every levelbecause it's a human trait to be
acquisitive, to take thingson, but not shed them. And part of
that is loss of aversion,which again is, you know, something
where we have an equallyweighed something we gain or something
(18:42):
we lose. We will always feelworse about the loss. And that's
something that we evolved tofeel it. It's something that helped
society and humans succeed.But it can cause real problems. And
you nailed it, especially whenit's something that has served me.
And this is where we need tobe nuanced about the strength data
too, because we can feel likeI've always been great at X. It can
(19:06):
be really hard to let that go.And it reminds me of Hemingway talked
about writing, you need tokill your darlings. Well, we all
have a lot of darlings we needto knock off, you know, to be able
to move forward. And I thinkthat's hard and a block. And I think
secondly, our brains lovethings that are familiar because
(19:27):
that's translated justsubconsciously as safe, something
new, big role. Especiallywhen, God forbid, someone says, be
strategic. I can just see myclient's cortisol go up. The problem
is it's not clear what itmeans to be strategic. So guess what?
Your brain, your brain stemsending out threat messages saying,
don't do it. And what do wedo? We turn back to what's familiar.
(19:50):
So it's got to be, and this isagain for coaching or even a good
leadership program, helpingpeople really walk through and instantiate
what that's going to mean.
Yeah, it's so funny. Some ofthe simple tools that can help people
with that. Right? It's somereally simple and I'd love to hear
what kind of how you helppeople work through that. But I know
(20:11):
for me there's just somereally simple paper and pencil kind
of activities you can doaround having people kind of write
down how they're spendingtheir time or track how they're spending
their time or even ideate tobegin with. How would you ideally
like to be spending your time?Let's forget about how you're spending
your time today. How else doyou help leaders work through kind
of uncovering, you know, whereand how they need to start letting
(20:34):
things go?
Well, I, I definitely go theroute you just talked about sometimes
just to get a baseline. Andagain, self report is terrible. I
mean, you know, 95% of peoplethink they're in the top half of
drivers. Most men ratethemselves as above average. Doesn't
work statistically. You know,you get into problems with that.
(20:56):
Yeah.
So what we do, I look at theircalendars, but I also ask them to
do what I think people do whenthey're doing food diaries, which
is not just have the plan, butwrite down anything that gets added.
The Snickers bar that comes inand the Snickers bar, those little
meetings. Oh, it was just 15minutes or I just went down a rabbit
hole on. We need to really geta grasp of what they're spending
(21:20):
time on. One of my mentorstaught me a long time ago, there
are never resource problems,they're just priority problems. And
that really sticks with me. Ifyou skinny it down, you always have
enough. Now you can say,that's really hard, that's people.
All true. But it's not aresource problem. And I challenge
(21:42):
people to think. And I don'tlike I need to manage time better.
It's not a time problem. Weneed to look at what you're cramming
in. We all have the same hoursand that can be really eye opening
and helpful and lead to thingslike delegation and so on.
I chuckled a little, maybe notaudibly, and I know it's not going
to be that helpful of a quote,but for a while it was popular to
(22:05):
say we all have the sameamount of time in the day as Beyonce
has.
Now that doesn't mean thatmakes us feel bad.
Now, that doesn't mean we allhave the same support structure that
she might have. But I thinkthat's a really good point. Right.
And I know in my own coachingpractice it's really simple, but
(22:25):
Eye opening activities.Sometimes when you're. Oh, when you're
just reviewing. How did youspend your time? Like the food diary
idea is a great idea too. Idon't, you know, is make sure you're
also writing down the D Agataminutes that you said yes to. Right.
Throughout the day.
Oh. Which in my experience isa huge chunk of what's happening.
(22:46):
Just an impromptu, you know,and there goes the day. And even
when they've blocked time forstrategic thinking, they haven't
thought through what thatmeans. So it's this big yawning gap.
So someone asks for a meetingand they schedule over it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you endup sinking that time on some other
(23:08):
less value added thing thanyou intended to. And suddenly now
I'm replying to emails thatprobably don't need to be replied
to either. Right.
So yeah.
How are you holding yourselfaccountable to using that time the
way you intend to? Well,before I give us a big shove into
our advice section, I just,you know, was there what else around
(23:30):
this topic kind of has you, Idon't know, keeps you up at night
or gets you excited to dig inwith coaches or people you're coaching.
This is not directly tied toalignment, but another area I'm really
interested in is environmentand the effect that has on people.
Environment, Maybe the people.It may be physical things, the sunlight,
(23:51):
the distance to things. It'seasy to think about with things like
trying to change food habits.I mean if you want to stop eating
sugar, take it out of yourhouse. You are not going to get in
the car and drive to 7 11. Imean odds are very low you will do
that. But if it's in thepantry, you'll grab it. And so how
can we think about that atwork as well? And simple things,
(24:15):
turning off devices that is inthe realm of don't have sugar in
your pantry. Thinking abouttimes I won't be interrupted versus
I'm going to try to resist theinterruptions. But really being thoughtful
about that. The people aroundus, being the social creatures we
are, have a huge, huge impacton us. And being thoughtful about
(24:37):
who are the inputs and arethey raising up my game or kind of
pulling me into things thataren't so great. Am I getting a diversity
of perspectives? And by that Ieven mean people in different functional
areas. You know, forcreativity and innovation. But really
thinking through those pieces.
Yeah, I'm so glad you broughtthat up. Right. And I think I love
(24:59):
the, you know, starting withthe example of, you know, I'm trying
to snack Class. Well, let'sget the snacks out of your house.
Right. I like that. I thinkit's all about bringing intentionality.
I would love to hear what aresome of the more common environmental
cues that you find yourselfcoaching people around.
(25:20):
One is definitely technologythat people say they're going to
do deep thinking or work on aproject, but they keep their phone
turned on, they keep emailbeeping. I know that's simple, but
first of all, it's ridiculous.Even if you do avoid it, you're degrading
your concentration horribly.And your attention, there's a. Is
switching costs. So that wouldbe a big one. The piece of doing
(25:42):
things first that require alot of hard thinking. That's something
most people know. Most peopledon't do. Really thinking through
physically where they're goingto be for some of the deeper thinking,
project work. And I have anumber of executives who will come
in maybe at 10 o' clockinstead of 8 and go somewhere. I
mean, literally everyone whogoes to a library, nobody's going
(26:04):
to bug him there, right. It'stotally quiet and just gets it done
and then can be present whenhe comes in. But really thinking,
thinking through those kindsof pieces.
Yeah, I like that. I've heard,you know, the innovative thinking
part that just makes me thinkof. I have heard people talking about
like, we need to get away fromour usual conference rooms or our
(26:27):
usual desks. Like even withcollaborative, innovative, creative
time, it's like, let's go sitin a different conference room in
a different part of thebuilding or you know, different building
and you know, the library.Love that idea.
No, and even bonus points, getoutside and walk if you can, or even
walk in the building. I mean,it's fascinating to look at brain
(26:49):
scans before and after a 15minute walk, the amount of oxygen
and blood flow, you can't missthe difference. And so talking with
someone while you're bothwalking can be really powerful. Also
on those.
Yeah, yeah. And if youstruggle with that, get a puppy.
You will have to walk. Yeah.
(27:10):
Actually that is one of thebest parts with dogs.
Yeah. Well, and I think, youknow, a really good point you're
making too here is, is thedevices, right? We have, you know,
I've got two devices rightnext to me that could bug me at any
moment. Right. So even, evenfor this pot now I have to do it
for certain reasons because oflike computer RAM and all that too,
(27:31):
just to maximize that. So it'slike even before I start a podcast,
I close everything down on mycomputer with the exception of this,
you know, this program. Buteven, you know, it's gotten worse
and worse over the years. ButI still remember getting good feedback
during either. It was possiblymy first time as a leader which was
like, hey, when you have a oneon one with someone, like, you know,
(27:55):
I don't think we even hadairplane mode at that time on phones,
but essentially like put yourphone on airplane mode and like lock
your computer. If not shutyour laptop and you know, turn towards
this person and give them yourfull attention. Right. And I think
that that's sort of what, whatyou reminded me of was. But. And
I'll aim it in this way whichis like, how are you giving your
(28:17):
attention to what actually matters?
Yes.
Right. Yeah.
I mean another mentor I havetalks about the secret to happiness
is where you point yourattention. And I think it's the secret
to so many things. Health, youknow, relationships, happiness, productivity.
But we just fritter it away.And I do too. So I'm not, I'm not
(28:41):
above everybody I'm talkingto. We need to be really mindful.
And this is back to theenvironment, shutting off the devices,
sometimes getting into adifferent room, going for a walk
because you're not going to beable to control it. It's a reward
system that's been activatedby these devices. Not going to happen.
Yeah. I feel like we learnmore and more about the importance
(29:04):
of presence. So I'll give youa quick quote and then we'll get
into the advice section too.Which is, I think I heard recently
it was like the opposite ofanxious is not. Not anxious. It's
actually the opposite ofanxious is presence. The opposite
of anxiety is being present.Which I thought was interesting as
well.
That's really nice.
(29:25):
I'm going to give us a violentshove into our, what I like to call
the advice column of the videoaudio format. So every week I ask
folks to prepare some advice.So I'll start with what's your key
advice for leaders out there, there?
And I think it really circlesback to what we talked about that
before embarking for myself onany kind of development or a team
(29:47):
member. Really spend the timeto honestly, candidly, thoroughly
establish where we are rightnow. If you're setting a goal, where
am I relative to that? And notjust remember, not just self report
on that. And we can reallyhelp our people by doing that so
they have a clear picture.Secondly, when we want to coach someone
(30:08):
else, let's say let's becareful about not diving into coaching
before we diagnose why this ishappening? Is this truly a motivational
problem? Is it a skill gap? Isthis something to do with someone's
just not self aware? Thosehave really different solutions and
we just missed the mark.There's a huge amount of wasted effort
(30:30):
and frustration around that.So taking the time to figure that
out. And then third, justwhether for me or for you or anybody,
when we want clear alignment,we can't be the only point of contact.
So formally, informally,getting some feedback from others
who will be honest and thendoing some testing.
(30:50):
Yeah. The one thing that youradvice made me think of too is the
power of sharing what you'reworking on with someone else and
how that also kind of addsaccountability to the picture too.
Right. So I think not onlyaligning with your leader perhaps
or a peer on what your goal isand where you're at today, not only
does that help you judgewhat's the gap really, but I think
(31:13):
probably also adds that bit ofaccountability too by having kind
of gone public with someone onwhat you're working on.
I love that. And that's alwaysa piece in coaching I do. And I'll
tell you, here's the otherreason that's in it for the coaching
client. One of the troublesthey face, you know, this is confirmation
bias. They can really shiftand people are still seeing the old
(31:35):
behavior. And to tell people,please look for essentially this
is something I'm reallyfocused on, can help speed up that
process.
Love it. Love it. All right,really quick, short piece of advice
for hr. Those who supportleaders, I would say.
Supporting leaders from mystandpoint as a coach, be involved
(31:59):
in all coaching programs. Beinvolved in the leadership development.
I really view you as theinternal coach, me as the external
coach. And so our philosophyis just the more they can be involved
with us, the better. And. Andplease advocate.
Yeah, love it. Cool. Allright, so our last section is sort
(32:21):
of the. If people want moreSarah Bridges in their life, how
can they find you? Get a holdof you. What else would you want
them to know about. About youand what you're doing?
So you can always get a holdof me. My name Sarah bridges.com
and I would say a new thingthat we're doing that's fun is twice
a year a retreat. At the firmthat I have in Lakeville, Minnesota,
(32:43):
we do have people who fly infor it. It's one day live and then
a year of monthly coaching.And it's really looking at our lives
holistically to be intentionalabout the next three to five years.
Very cool. And registration isopen now. Until when?
It is open now and the retreatis in September, so just reach out
if you are interested.
(33:04):
Awesome. So we'll definitelyhave this out in time for people
to kind of catch that news andregister if they're interested. Sarah,
this was a very funconversation, kind of talking about
some of the mechanics ofcoaching, which I really appreciated.
Had a great time myself. Justthank you so much for being here
today.
Oh, thank you for having me. Ialways love talking shop with another
(33:26):
in the field.
All right, thanks. That bringsus to the end of our episode. Thanks
for listening. I'd encourageyou to head on over to my website,
Kent Coach and start aconversation with me there. Or check
out my promotion playbook atKent Coach Playbook. Before you go
on with your day, I ask youplease take a moment to leave a rating
and a review wherever youlisten to podcasts. Five stars. That
(33:47):
helps put this podcast infront of more eyes and ears. Until
next time, take it easy.
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