June 11, 2025 • 23 mins
What would go through your head if the pilot just announced you’re about to crash?
In this bonus episode, Nathan Hobden shares the life-changing story he’s never spoken about publicly, an emergency landing, screaming passengers, fire engines lining the runway, and the aftermath of a moment that could’ve ended everything.
This isn’t just a survival story. It’s about what that moment did to his mindset — in life, in business, and as a dad.
We talk about:
- What nearly dying taught him about living
- Why work stress means nothing when family is at risk
- The balance between ambition and presence as a parent
- Gaming, escapism, and why it’s stealing your life
- And how to separate business from home — for real
This one's deeper than most, and we’re proud to share it.
🎧 New episodes every Tuesday, with bonus drops on Thursdays
📲 Follow us: @untoldpodcast.official
🔗 Watch + Listen: https://linktr.ee/untoldpodcast.official
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I want to talk about life, Nath.
Have you got any experience inlife that you feel have shaped
you to the man you are today?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'd probably say one of the biggest things is having
an emergency landing with aplane.
I never forget the day we'reflying back.
A tannoy comes on the pilot'son the speaker saying I had to
make a crash landing, Screaming,crying.
It's petrifying.
Things like that really dochange your perspective in life.
Everyone says life's too short,you've got to live it, and it
(00:29):
is true.
You never know what can happenaround the corner.
Do you enjoy whatever it may be?
Otherwise, what's the point?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
today's episode is sponsored by closer, the app
that helps you discoverexclusive local deals right here
in sussex.
Whether you're after a pint, ahaircut or a last minute gift,
closer shows you where to go andwhat you can save, all from the
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It's free to download, easy touse and packed with offers from
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Download the Closer app todayfrom the App Store.
That's C-L-O-S-R.
(00:57):
Save money, support local withCloser.
Welcome back to the UntoldPodcast.
While Nathan was here, I want todo a bit of a Brucey bonus for
you all, because we know how youlove a short episode coming out
on a Thursday.
This is off the cuff.
So I want to talk about life,nath.
I want to talk about I've beengoing through some stuff for the
(01:19):
last 18 months obviouslyshutting a business down,
opening a business and things,and I feel that there is
experiences that happen in ourlife that, at the time, feel
like they're horrible, but asyou look back on them, they are
actually what made you who youare today.
I've been going for the lasttwo weeks.
(01:39):
The last four weeks of myjourney in business has been
very, very difficult, extremelydifficult, to the point where
I've questioned why am I doingall this?
And then something switched inme.
Don't know what it was.
And I had a call last nightwith a group I'm in and they
asked me.
They said, right, ash, we'venot spoke to you for a month
because you've missed all thecalls.
(01:59):
What's been going on?
And I said it's been reallytough.
But something's switched in meand I feel incredible.
I feel de-stressed, I feel likeI'm ready to take on the world.
It's good.
And I said I don't know theanswers yet, but I'm working on
the answers to try and find outwhat the bloody hell has
(02:20):
switched in me.
So I think that the experiencesin life there are experiences
we've had in life and when yousit and you think that I've
actually shaped who you are,that can change things.
A lot of people say that, um, alot of people would say, as
morbid as it sounds like a deathof a parent can make you really
see life in a different way.
(02:40):
A death of a child I mean thatwould.
I honestly don't even want itscares the hell out of me, being
a dad to think about that.
What about you?
You got any experiences,experience in life that you feel
have shaped you to the man youare today.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Well, there's a number that I've come straight
to my mind, a few of themprobably for a chat in a pub.
So we'll park those ones andnot say on the the untold
podcast.
But I'll probably say one ofthe biggest things is having an
emergency landing with a plane.
So you know, a number of yearsago now, around seven years ago
now, I went on holiday with myex-partner and children children
(03:17):
at a time where you know, sixmonths and just over sort of two
year mark, and we were comingback from Tenerife.
I'll never forget the day.
And we're flying back long trip.
As you know, four, four and ahalf hours or so.
We're near Gatwick Airport,we're flying above it.
Half hour later, still flyingabove it, hour later, still
(03:39):
flying above it.
You know, it doesn't takeEinstein to work out something's
wrong.
So I've gone to my partner myex-partner at the time, or part
of time.
I said to her you know,something's not right.
I've been flying far too long.
We're literally above theairport.
There's something seriouslywrong here.
Obviously you probably shouldn'thave said that to your partner
at the time because she shestarted having kittens herself
and throwing the toys out of herpram, saying why would you say
(04:00):
that, but our clock sign wasn'tup and, um, you know, a tannoy
comes on pilots, on the speaker,saying, as you know, we've been
circling the airport for anumber of hours now.
Um, the reason being is we'retrying to run out of the fuel
because we're going to make acrash landing and, uh, emergency
landing, essentially.
And, uh, they said the, theflaps were broken, the landing
(04:21):
gear was broken, the plane, thelist a number of faults, uh, of
which people started havingpanic attacks, screaming, crying
, the, the.
The plane was broken up by twoseats, six seats and two seats.
Uh, I was behind my partnerwith my son, she had my daughter
and, um, the family to my left,she looked to a whole of her
(04:41):
family alongside her saying youknow, if I, if we die, just
remember that I love you andalways will do.
Of which I'm thinking, of whichI'm thinking.
Bloody hell, like what is goingto go on here, like you don't
know what to do in thatsituation, everyone's sort of
frozen.
And then, um, you know there'sthere's so much screaming,
crying, you know it's petrifying, and, um, I just recall
(05:05):
everything.
And the brace position is beingshouted nonstop by all the
staff.
Staff are in tears as well atthe front or the hostesses.
And as we come in lower andlower to land on the runway,
obviously the wheels aren'tworking or engaging, so you're
going to skid along the runwayas we got lower and lower, look
out the window and there'sambulances, fire engines,
(05:25):
engines, police cars.
I mean it was like a Christmasshow down there.
There was lights all the wayalong the runway.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I'm thinking was it night time, or was it day time?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
between the two yeah, it was around, like sort of
dusk time it was around 8ish andjust coming down to it, I'm
thinking, oh my god, god, likeyou've got no idea what's going
to happen.
Are we going to set on fire?
Are we going to have to go outthe tubes?
I forgot this.
You know you're trying to getin the brace position with a,
with a six-month-old in your lap, thinking what are you supposed
to do?
My partner's going to me.
What do we do?
I'm like I don't know.
You know, just gotta hope forthe best and and and see and see
(05:57):
what happens.
You know, I mean, I'm not surewhat you're doing that situation
out of your control out of yourcontrol.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I would be petra.
I'm a control freak, I hate.
Before I had kids, yeah, I usedto love flying.
Yeah, I used to think it wasfun.
Now I've got kids, I'm flying.
Later today I'm going to spainand I'm all right.
Once we're in the air, thetakeoff yeah, my palms will be
sweaty.
I'll be holding on to the kidslike this.
They're like daddy, what'swrong with you?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I'm like nothing, I'm all right yeah, I mean, I don't
know what it is, but obviouslyI've jumped in there, but so
what?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
how did you feel?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
well, you just feel like it's the end, like it's mad
and it's cynical genuinely.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, you feel, you feel like it's the end.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
You're thinking.
You know I hate this saying.
A lot of people use it, but itis what it is.
You and your fingers saw yourcontrol.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
That's just see what happens.
You know you're on your bracevision screen crying, panic
attacks, people collapsing tothe floor.
You can't describe it.
It's like something out of amovie scene.
And the plane slammed againstthe runway, skidded the whole
way along for for endless.
Then the obviously we hadlanded and there was no injuries
, thankfully, in casualties.
We we injuries, thankfully, andcasualties we get off the plane
(07:03):
.
No one looked back, everyonejust ran away from the scene.
And then I was scarred fromflying.
For a number of years probablythree years couldn't get on an
airplane.
And then the worst part is, forthree weeks minimum, at night
time I could hear this woman inmy sleep that said like, if we
die, like, remember I love you.
And it stayed in my head forweeks and weeks and weeks.
I couldn shift it, I couldn'tsleep and then eventually it
(07:26):
just it just eventually wentaway.
But the day will never leave mymind and experiences that shape
you as an individual.
I feel much more resilient.
I feel like I've gone throughthat and I can pretty much take
on anything now.
Nothing really fears me,especially when it comes to a
business sense, wherever I'mgoing to do a big pitch, whether
I'm going to do a meeting,whether it's public speaking, I
(07:47):
think to myself you know, ifI've gone through that horrific
ordeal, there's nothing reallythat can top that.
I'm just going to keep going asI am.
And then when it comes to flyingnow obviously I've overcome the
fear and it's a breeze I get onand I just sit there thinking
it.
And I just sit there thinkingcan't be worse than it was last
time, and then everything's fineagain.
But things like that really dochange your perspective in life
(08:10):
and everyone says life's tooshort, you've got to live it.
And it is true.
You never know what can happenaround the corner.
So as long as you're livingevery day to your best and
you're trying to do things thatyou enjoy and you're happy doing
which is why I said do what youenjoy I think that's a vital
piece of information, becauseyou never know what's around the
corner.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
No, you don't, you don't and it's uh, it.
Sometimes things like thatbring bring things to the
forefront of your mind and itbrings things into perspective
that we, our time, could be anytime, a hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
And literally two nights ago we watched a diehard
too.
It happens to be an airport andthe planes had to skin their
stomachs and it just broughtback everything instantly.
That's why I'm talking abouttoday, saying I don't really
really talk about because it'ssuch a traumatic experience, but
having seen it in a filmliterally two days ago, I'm
thinking that was me.
I was in that position, um, andit really does strike you.
(09:06):
You know, I'm sitting therewatching that with all these
flashbacks, thinking, oh mygoodness, yeah, yeah, that's um
mate, I didn't even know.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I've known you for a couple of years.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I didn't even know that was a thing I try and keep
that one inside, but when itcomes to things like what shapes
you and experiences, that'sdefinitely one that would come
to the forefront of my mind ofyeah, I can, imagine.
I can now take on the world.
That's how I think about.
It's not about being cocky oror thinking you're better than
people.
It's about going.
I've, I've gone through that.
I can now take on anything.
I believe in myself and I willgo and conquer the next
(09:38):
challenge or the next meeting orthe next deal.
And if things don't go well, itdoesn't matter, because I've
had things much worse in my life.
That happened.
Wherever you're losing a dealand it's worth X amount of
thousands, it doesn't matter.
You've gone through that.
You're lucky to be here.
(09:59):
Keep pushing through.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Better things will be on the horizon, and that
obviously happened for a reasonwhy you didn't get that
particular deal, but it's alwaysthe next one.
You've got to keep your head up, and that's something I've been
.
Your brain will always give youworst case scenario.
So in that scenario, everyoneon that plane thought that was
it.
Their time was up 100.
Yeah, and it didn't.
And now they all live to tellthe story exactly yeah, and you
can take a lot of like business,business deals.
Oh my god, if I don't land thistoday, then everything's gonna
(10:22):
go to shit.
It never does, though.
Does it never does never does.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
And business is one thing.
Health, family and life isanother thing and you gotta
decommensurate the two of them.
You gotta separate the two ofthem.
You know, don't bring yourbusiness home into your personal
life.
They don't want to hear it Liveyour personal life and so on.
That's why things like that TVshow Severance some people think
I love to be severed, where youdon't know your home life until
(10:48):
you're to a work life, and Ithink if that was a genuine
thing, a lot of people would doit.
They don't want to take thathome and stress his home.
If that was a genuine thing, alot of people would do it.
They don't want to take thathome and stress his home.
If they've had a bad day atwork, they shouldn't go home and
take out on their partner, ontheir children, and be miserable
and think about it.
I know only recently you saidthat that started affecting your
holiday.
At the start of the trip whereyou had a bad day at work, your
(11:10):
family were like separated thetwo.
You would do yeah oh 100.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
And as a business owner, no matter what they say,
you are never not working.
Yes, you are never, ever notworking.
As a business owner, now, Iwould class you for the couple
of years I've known you as a bitof a workaholic.
Um, but that's why your wayyour brain's wired and I would
do the same, and sometimes mywife would be like right, switch
(11:34):
off, switch off, switch off.
I can't switch off.
As much as I'd love to switchoff, I can't switch off because
I've got so much going on.
Yes, which leads me into thenext part of this big Brucey
bonus.
What do you do to switch off?
Speaker 2 (11:51):
What do I do to switch off?
I'd say that one of the biggestparts of my life is is is is my
tennis club.
You know Wicklands, you knowwherever it is now called a
country club or whatever.
It's been redone by David.
Then there's a little plungepool, then there's the little
(12:14):
jacuzzi and the sauna.
But every time I walk into myspace of rest I feel like I'm on
a holiday and it's a relaxation.
So no matter what day I've had,I can go in there.
Factory reset.
The next day begins and withoutthat place, in particular, my
sort of my, my escapism, I don'tthink I'd be the same person.
(12:36):
I really need that place,essentially.
So, as long as it could beanything, it could be going home
to your family, could be goinghome to a place where you find
rest and stress free.
There's so many factors, butfor me it's having that ability
to escape the world essentiallyand go into my place of of
resting, yeah, um, and thenobviously going home to the
family and the antics of carnageand and you know what it's like
(13:00):
with children yeah, it bringson you, but sometimes you have
to escape life and go and sortyourself out, because if you go
home with that stress.
Then it pushes onto your family.
They can read it and yourchildren.
But first thing is to clear it,escape it and go back with a
fresh mind yeah, and your kidsand your, your kids.
Don't care about whether youlanded that deal, no well, mine
(13:21):
do, because they won't know ifthey got the next toys or
christmas presents or socks.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
That's it but your kids don't.
They don't, and that'ssomething that I've learned the
kids they don't care if you'velanded that deal.
What they care is that theirparents are present.
They care that they're in aloving, supportive home.
If they can't have that nexttoy, they're not gonna.
In the moment they might be,but what they'll remember,
they'll remember when you wenton that family holiday when
(13:47):
daddy was fun and he won thebelly flop competition in the
pool because that was me, whatgod, eight years ago.
Yeah, like I can't imagine medoing that now.
They did a thing we're going todo a belly flop competition.
There's me won the bloody thing, getting up in front of the
kids, and that's what they'llremember.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
It's good on you.
I mean, I've been so guilty ofit where you're spending time
with kids, you're on your phone,you're checking emails, you're
checking a deal.
I'm one of the worst people forthat and it's saying that I've
self-reflected and recognized.
So when the children around,there's no screen time, we don't
do TVs, we don't have a gamesconcert in my house anymore.
We got rid of it all and it'snow about park time, play time,
(14:26):
one-to-one time, and that'ssomething that they appreciate
more than anything, more thanany toy is getting you about.
You can go take a football downthe park for an hour.
The smiles and the jaw on theirface is much bigger than you
having a game on call of duty orfortnight, wherever it may be.
And and that's saying that I'monly realizing really, the past
sort of two years is get out, godo stuff, leave the phone
(14:48):
behind and be humans reallythat's something that my wife
said to me last night.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
I said when we go to, when we go to Spain, I'm going
to try.
She's like no, no, no.
I heard from a therapist younever say I'm going to try.
You say I'm going to do so.
I've set myself strict.
I work for one.
I'll set a one hour a day.
Um, I might even delete theemail apps from my phone.
I'm constantly checking.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
They can wait.
Emails they can wait.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Nothing's as urgent as their family time Out of the
office is going on and I'm goingto do everything I can.
I'm going to try.
I'm going to try to really Iwill enjoy this time See my
parents for the first time sinceJanuary when they moved out to
Spain, and yeah, but my way ofswitching off is is consoles.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, my way of switching off is consoles.
Yeah, in the summer I don'ttouch it.
The console does not go on inthe summer.
Yeah, because I'm out doingthings.
Yeah, of course, in the winteror on a Sunday and stuff Cold
evening or whatever it may be ina winter's evening.
I will.
I'll play a bit of golf on aconsole.
(15:59):
I'll play a bit of golf on aconsole, I'll play a bit of call
of duty, and it is literally Iswitch off doing it, I lit.
It's like the only time mybrain will switch off and focus
on that one thing.
Otherwise my brain's like awashing machine on a spin cycle,
yeah, and it's thinking of thisand this and that, and this and
this and that.
And I really like what you saidin the in the other episode
(16:20):
about having ideas and puttingthem in three columns what needs
to be done now, what can wait,what prioritizing things.
I think that's fuckingbrilliant and I think that's a
real golden nugget that anybodylistening to that episode could
take from it of course, 100always prioritize what needs to
happen now, the short term andthe long term.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
But when it comes to gaming, I completely understand
it's that escapism.
But my dad struck me hard anumber of years back, around 15
years ago, I was really proud toget to a certain level in
whether it's a call of duty or afifa game, and I used to play
all the time.
You know, when you're goingfrom school, you're on it
straight away.
You get to a certain level andyou become a bit of a geek.
And I was an absolute geek,like I was nailing everything
(17:03):
top of whatever.
I said dad, dad, I'm number onein the country for this month
in terms of goals scored orwhatever.
And he turned around and gowhat does that actually mean?
What does that mean?
What are you actually gainingin any way in life from that?
And I'll never forget when hesaid to that and it just struck
me so hard I'm like I look atthe amount of time I've played a
game 32 days on Call of Duty.
(17:25):
I'm not kidding you, 32 days,and that's on one particular
game.
Then you go to the next one, 50days, whatever.
I've worked out I've probablylost a whole year of my life
just gaming, sat there andthat's time you're never going
to get back.
And that's one of the biggestthings for me that I think
parents in the modern day needto understand is those, those
(17:47):
hours and days you can't getback.
You can't and you need to limitit.
If you can, one hour a day orsomething like that.
Some days you plan it three,four or five hours and the day
just gets away.
Yes, you can escape the workstress and so on.
However, hours and the day justgets away.
Yes, you can escape the workstress and so on.
However, if you can beproactive and productive in that
time period, think of theamount of skill sets you can,
you can develop, you know,whereas if you're game for six
(18:08):
hours in a day, you canliterally learn how to build a
website in those six hours, andthen where do you go with those
skill sets and so on and so on,so on.
So I haven't touched the consolefor a number of years for those
reasons.
Because when you doself-reflect go, what does that
actually mean?
If I am number one in Call ofDuty, it means nothing, like it
literally means absolute nothing, and the amount of passion and
(18:28):
stress.
I can get across to that, sincemy dad said it is, is is
endless.
Cause you don't think about it.
You think, oh, I'm just gamefor a few.
You look at your total gametime 30 days.
That's a month, mate.
I've just sat there sat there,yeah, doing nothing, and that's
on one game and then the nextone release, it's another 30
days exactly scary, isn't it,when you look at it like that
it's scary and that's years ofyour life just gone, and there's
(18:50):
times that you'll look back onand go.
I can't believe I wasted thatmuch time in a game because now
that means nothing.
No one, no one goes.
Oh, this is ash, number onequality player.
It doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
No, it does now, though, don't it fortnight oh,
it does if you're incompetitions 15 year olds making
absolute keiko money.
If you're in the competitions,yeah it's a full-time career.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
But if you're the average joe, like I was, you
know you're nothing and that'sthe sad reality.
Until you get that realitycheck, it's um, it's dangerous I
think all technology and screentime is dangerous.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
When I was growing up I grew up when a bit older than
you, when I I grew up when theinternet was invented and in
order I remember I'll neverforget the day my dad bought the
first pc home.
It was a dell pc and it come inabout 35 boxes.
You had the speaker, thekeyboard, the monitor was the
size of this chair and we hadthis box and it was like we sat
(19:45):
it in the middle of the livingroom and all you could do on it
was I don't remember what youcould do.
It was like MS-DOS or somethingstupid.
You could play like Pac-Man andstuff.
And then MSN Messenger cameabout and MSN Messenger was when
it started getting a bit.
I MSN Messenger came about andMSN Messenger was when it
started getting a bit.
I used to get bullied on MSNMessenger, did you?
Yeah, I used to get bullied onMSN Messenger by a load of girls
(20:06):
in school.
I used to stand outside mywindow.
One day, I think as a kid, like13, 14, you're dancing in your
living room in your pants, andthen I'd get messages on MSN.
We saw you dancing, we're goingto tell everybody at school and
(20:27):
stuff, and I think that's whenit started with MSN Messenger.
And now I worry for the youthof today.
One, because they're watchinghighlight reels on Instagram and
TikTok.
That's another reason why.
Why I wanted to do this podcastwas to for it to be raw, to for
it to be real and unfiltered,because there's not enough
people telling you businessowners, that they'll post the
Lamborghinis and the Ferrarisand the their success, but they
won't post the days when theywere crying their eyes out
(20:50):
because it was all about to goto shit, and that was one of the
things.
So that's one of the big thingsfor technology.
And two is, like you said, it'sa massive waste of time.
I waste hours hours and hoursand hours scrolling through
TikTok, scrolling throughInstagram for that next dopamine
hit.
And I'm at a point now I'm like, why am I doing it?
I'm hoping it's just a fad inmy life, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I completely understand.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
When you're trying to run a podcast, when you're
trying to run a business, it'simportant to understand how this
is me like defending the factthat I spend too much time on it
.
It's really important tounderstand that.
That is the number one way tomarket anything these days is
short form video content andseeing what's working, seeing
what's not.
But I think it's important thatwe my daughter, who's 11
(21:36):
tomorrow, she's oh, daddy, look,I've had 150 views on a video.
Not, she's not allowed to puther face on.
She does her makeup and cleansher thing up and then she'll get
or the dog or stuff like that.
And I said it doesn't matterwholesome content.
Yeah, I said it doesn't matter.
I said it's brilliant that youwant to do it because it's very
important to understand it.
It's good to build up aresilience.
(21:58):
She said, oh, someone'scommented no one cares.
I said so, you don't care.
And it's important to build upkids resilience to online trolls
is they should educate them inschools about social media and
tiktok and how it's importantnot to get overwhelmed by not
everyone's gonna like what youdo, but as long as you can be
(22:21):
yourself and enjoy it and enjoyit.
The day you stop enjoyingmaking content.
Stop is the day that you stopcorrect.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Couldn't agree more so do what you like.
Same thing as we discussed inthe other session was do what
you enjoy.
Work wise, whatever it may be.
Otherwise, what's the point?
If you're not enjoying yourvideo making and content, it's
likely that the viewers won'tenjoy it because your passion,
drive and ambitions in thatvideo is not coming through.
And that's the key part Do whatyou like.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, those who say they can normally do.
Those who say they can'tnormally don't yeah, a wise man
once said.
A wise man once said so let'sfinish it there, nath.
Thank you for your time.
I'm sure we'll have you onagain to talk about the other
stories in your life, because Iknow you've got a few.
But that has been the UntoldPodcast, a bonus episode.
(23:11):
If you've got a story to tell,if you've been through some
interesting life events andyou're open and willing to be
honest on camera, then we'd loveto hear from you.
So reach out to us, comment onthis video, dm us, you can email
us socials attheuntoldpodcastcouk, and we
would love to have you onsitting in the chair as a guest
(23:36):
and we'll drill into you and getsome good content.
Let's help other people build acommunity and smash it.
I want to talk about life, Nath.
Have you got any experience inlife that you feel have shaped
you to the man you are today?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'd probably say one of the biggest things is having
an emergency landing with aplane.
I never forget the day we'reflying back.
A tannoy comes on the pilot'son the speaker saying I had to
make a crash landing, Screaming,crying.
It's petrifying.
Things like that really dochange your perspective in life.
Everyone says life's too short,you've got to live it, and it
(00:29):
is true.
You never know what can happenaround the corner.
Do you enjoy whatever it may be?
Otherwise, what's the point?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
today's episode is sponsored by closer, the app
that helps you discoverexclusive local deals right here
in sussex.
Whether you're after a pint, ahaircut or a last minute gift,
closer shows you where to go andwhat you can save, all from the
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It's free to download, easy touse and packed with offers from
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Download the Closer app todayfrom the App Store.
That's C-L-O-S-R.
(00:57):
Save money, support local withCloser.
Welcome back to the UntoldPodcast.
While Nathan was here, I want todo a bit of a Brucey bonus for
you all, because we know how youlove a short episode coming out
on a Thursday.
This is off the cuff.
So I want to talk about life,nath.
I want to talk about I've beengoing through some stuff for the
(01:19):
last 18 months obviouslyshutting a business down,
opening a business and things,and I feel that there is
experiences that happen in ourlife that, at the time, feel
like they're horrible, but asyou look back on them, they are
actually what made you who youare today.
I've been going for the lasttwo weeks.
(01:39):
The last four weeks of myjourney in business has been
very, very difficult, extremelydifficult, to the point where
I've questioned why am I doingall this?
And then something switched inme.
Don't know what it was.
And I had a call last nightwith a group I'm in and they
asked me.
They said, right, ash, we'venot spoke to you for a month
because you've missed all thecalls.
(01:59):
What's been going on?
And I said it's been reallytough.
But something's switched in meand I feel incredible.
I feel de-stressed, I feel likeI'm ready to take on the world.
It's good.
And I said I don't know theanswers yet, but I'm working on
the answers to try and find outwhat the bloody hell has
(02:20):
switched in me.
So I think that the experiencesin life there are experiences
we've had in life and when yousit and you think that I've
actually shaped who you are,that can change things.
A lot of people say that, um, alot of people would say, as
morbid as it sounds like a deathof a parent can make you really
see life in a different way.
(02:40):
A death of a child I mean thatwould.
I honestly don't even want itscares the hell out of me, being
a dad to think about that.
What about you?
You got any experiences,experience in life that you feel
have shaped you to the man youare today.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Well, there's a number that I've come straight
to my mind, a few of themprobably for a chat in a pub.
So we'll park those ones andnot say on the the untold
podcast.
But I'll probably say one ofthe biggest things is having an
emergency landing with a plane.
So you know, a number of yearsago now, around seven years ago
now, I went on holiday with myex-partner and children children
(03:17):
at a time where you know, sixmonths and just over sort of two
year mark, and we were comingback from Tenerife.
I'll never forget the day.
And we're flying back long trip.
As you know, four, four and ahalf hours or so.
We're near Gatwick Airport,we're flying above it.
Half hour later, still flyingabove it, hour later, still
(03:39):
flying above it.
You know, it doesn't takeEinstein to work out something's
wrong.
So I've gone to my partner myex-partner at the time, or part
of time.
I said to her you know,something's not right.
I've been flying far too long.
We're literally above theairport.
There's something seriouslywrong here.
Obviously you probably shouldn'thave said that to your partner
at the time because she shestarted having kittens herself
and throwing the toys out of herpram, saying why would you say
(04:00):
that, but our clock sign wasn'tup and, um, you know, a tannoy
comes on pilots, on the speaker,saying, as you know, we've been
circling the airport for anumber of hours now.
Um, the reason being is we'retrying to run out of the fuel
because we're going to make acrash landing and, uh, emergency
landing, essentially.
And, uh, they said the, theflaps were broken, the landing
(04:21):
gear was broken, the plane, thelist a number of faults, uh, of
which people started havingpanic attacks, screaming, crying
, the, the.
The plane was broken up by twoseats, six seats and two seats.
Uh, I was behind my partnerwith my son, she had my daughter
and, um, the family to my left,she looked to a whole of her
(04:41):
family alongside her saying youknow, if I, if we die, just
remember that I love you andalways will do.
Of which I'm thinking, of whichI'm thinking.
Bloody hell, like what is goingto go on here, like you don't
know what to do in thatsituation, everyone's sort of
frozen.
And then, um, you know there'sthere's so much screaming,
crying, you know it's petrifying, and, um, I just recall
(05:05):
everything.
And the brace position is beingshouted nonstop by all the
staff.
Staff are in tears as well atthe front or the hostesses.
And as we come in lower andlower to land on the runway,
obviously the wheels aren'tworking or engaging, so you're
going to skid along the runwayas we got lower and lower, look
out the window and there'sambulances, fire engines,
(05:25):
engines, police cars.
I mean it was like a Christmasshow down there.
There was lights all the wayalong the runway.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I'm thinking was it night time, or was it day time?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
between the two yeah, it was around, like sort of
dusk time it was around 8ish andjust coming down to it, I'm
thinking, oh my god, god, likeyou've got no idea what's going
to happen.
Are we going to set on fire?
Are we going to have to go outthe tubes?
I forgot this.
You know you're trying to getin the brace position with a,
with a six-month-old in your lap, thinking what are you supposed
to do?
My partner's going to me.
What do we do?
I'm like I don't know.
You know, just gotta hope forthe best and and and see and see
(05:57):
what happens.
You know, I mean, I'm not surewhat you're doing that situation
out of your control out of yourcontrol.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I would be petra.
I'm a control freak, I hate.
Before I had kids, yeah, I usedto love flying.
Yeah, I used to think it wasfun.
Now I've got kids, I'm flying.
Later today I'm going to spainand I'm all right.
Once we're in the air, thetakeoff yeah, my palms will be
sweaty.
I'll be holding on to the kidslike this.
They're like daddy, what'swrong with you?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I'm like nothing, I'm all right yeah, I mean, I don't
know what it is, but obviouslyI've jumped in there, but so
what?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
how did you feel?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
well, you just feel like it's the end, like it's mad
and it's cynical genuinely.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, you feel, you feel like it's the end.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
You're thinking.
You know I hate this saying.
A lot of people use it, but itis what it is.
You and your fingers saw yourcontrol.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
That's just see what happens.
You know you're on your bracevision screen crying, panic
attacks, people collapsing tothe floor.
You can't describe it.
It's like something out of amovie scene.
And the plane slammed againstthe runway, skidded the whole
way along for for endless.
Then the obviously we hadlanded and there was no injuries
, thankfully, in casualties.
We we injuries, thankfully, andcasualties we get off the plane
(07:03):
.
No one looked back, everyonejust ran away from the scene.
And then I was scarred fromflying.
For a number of years probablythree years couldn't get on an
airplane.
And then the worst part is, forthree weeks minimum, at night
time I could hear this woman inmy sleep that said like, if we
die, like, remember I love you.
And it stayed in my head forweeks and weeks and weeks.
I couldn shift it, I couldn'tsleep and then eventually it
(07:26):
just it just eventually wentaway.
But the day will never leave mymind and experiences that shape
you as an individual.
I feel much more resilient.
I feel like I've gone throughthat and I can pretty much take
on anything now.
Nothing really fears me,especially when it comes to a
business sense, wherever I'mgoing to do a big pitch, whether
I'm going to do a meeting,whether it's public speaking, I
(07:47):
think to myself you know, ifI've gone through that horrific
ordeal, there's nothing reallythat can top that.
I'm just going to keep going asI am.
And then when it comes to flyingnow obviously I've overcome the
fear and it's a breeze I get onand I just sit there thinking
it.
And I just sit there thinkingcan't be worse than it was last
time, and then everything's fineagain.
But things like that really dochange your perspective in life
(08:10):
and everyone says life's tooshort, you've got to live it.
And it is true.
You never know what can happenaround the corner.
So as long as you're livingevery day to your best and
you're trying to do things thatyou enjoy and you're happy doing
which is why I said do what youenjoy I think that's a vital
piece of information, becauseyou never know what's around the
corner.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
No, you don't, you don't and it's uh, it.
Sometimes things like thatbring bring things to the
forefront of your mind and itbrings things into perspective
that we, our time, could be anytime, a hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
And literally two nights ago we watched a diehard
too.
It happens to be an airport andthe planes had to skin their
stomachs and it just broughtback everything instantly.
That's why I'm talking abouttoday, saying I don't really
really talk about because it'ssuch a traumatic experience, but
having seen it in a filmliterally two days ago, I'm
thinking that was me.
I was in that position, um, andit really does strike you.
(09:06):
You know, I'm sitting therewatching that with all these
flashbacks, thinking, oh mygoodness, yeah, yeah, that's um
mate, I didn't even know.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I've known you for a couple of years.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I didn't even know that was a thing I try and keep
that one inside, but when itcomes to things like what shapes
you and experiences, that'sdefinitely one that would come
to the forefront of my mind ofyeah, I can, imagine.
I can now take on the world.
That's how I think about.
It's not about being cocky oror thinking you're better than
people.
It's about going.
I've, I've gone through that.
I can now take on anything.
I believe in myself and I willgo and conquer the next
(09:38):
challenge or the next meeting orthe next deal.
And if things don't go well, itdoesn't matter, because I've
had things much worse in my life.
That happened.
Wherever you're losing a dealand it's worth X amount of
thousands, it doesn't matter.
You've gone through that.
You're lucky to be here.
(09:59):
Keep pushing through.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Better things will be on the horizon, and that
obviously happened for a reasonwhy you didn't get that
particular deal, but it's alwaysthe next one.
You've got to keep your head up, and that's something I've been
.
Your brain will always give youworst case scenario.
So in that scenario, everyoneon that plane thought that was
it.
Their time was up 100.
Yeah, and it didn't.
And now they all live to tellthe story exactly yeah, and you
can take a lot of like business,business deals.
Oh my god, if I don't land thistoday, then everything's gonna
(10:22):
go to shit.
It never does, though.
Does it never does never does.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
And business is one thing.
Health, family and life isanother thing and you gotta
decommensurate the two of them.
You gotta separate the two ofthem.
You know, don't bring yourbusiness home into your personal
life.
They don't want to hear it Liveyour personal life and so on.
That's why things like that TVshow Severance some people think
I love to be severed, where youdon't know your home life until
(10:48):
you're to a work life, and Ithink if that was a genuine
thing, a lot of people would doit.
They don't want to take thathome and stress his home.
If that was a genuine thing, alot of people would do it.
They don't want to take thathome and stress his home.
If they've had a bad day atwork, they shouldn't go home and
take out on their partner, ontheir children, and be miserable
and think about it.
I know only recently you saidthat that started affecting your
holiday.
At the start of the trip whereyou had a bad day at work, your
(11:10):
family were like separated thetwo.
You would do yeah oh 100.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
And as a business owner, no matter what they say,
you are never not working.
Yes, you are never, ever notworking.
As a business owner, now, Iwould class you for the couple
of years I've known you as a bitof a workaholic.
Um, but that's why your wayyour brain's wired and I would
do the same, and sometimes mywife would be like right, switch
(11:34):
off, switch off, switch off.
I can't switch off.
As much as I'd love to switchoff, I can't switch off because
I've got so much going on.
Yes, which leads me into thenext part of this big Brucey
bonus.
What do you do to switch off?
Speaker 2 (11:51):
What do I do to switch off?
I'd say that one of the biggestparts of my life is is is is my
tennis club.
You know Wicklands, you knowwherever it is now called a
country club or whatever.
It's been redone by David.
Then there's a little plungepool, then there's the little
(12:14):
jacuzzi and the sauna.
But every time I walk into myspace of rest I feel like I'm on
a holiday and it's a relaxation.
So no matter what day I've had,I can go in there.
Factory reset.
The next day begins and withoutthat place, in particular, my
sort of my, my escapism, I don'tthink I'd be the same person.
(12:36):
I really need that place,essentially.
So, as long as it could beanything, it could be going home
to your family, could be goinghome to a place where you find
rest and stress free.
There's so many factors, butfor me it's having that ability
to escape the world essentiallyand go into my place of of
resting, yeah, um, and thenobviously going home to the
family and the antics of carnageand and you know what it's like
(13:00):
with children yeah, it bringson you, but sometimes you have
to escape life and go and sortyourself out, because if you go
home with that stress.
Then it pushes onto your family.
They can read it and yourchildren.
But first thing is to clear it,escape it and go back with a
fresh mind yeah, and your kidsand your, your kids.
Don't care about whether youlanded that deal, no well, mine
(13:21):
do, because they won't know ifthey got the next toys or
christmas presents or socks.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
That's it but your kids don't.
They don't, and that'ssomething that I've learned the
kids they don't care if you'velanded that deal.
What they care is that theirparents are present.
They care that they're in aloving, supportive home.
If they can't have that nexttoy, they're not gonna.
In the moment they might be,but what they'll remember,
they'll remember when you wenton that family holiday when
(13:47):
daddy was fun and he won thebelly flop competition in the
pool because that was me, whatgod, eight years ago.
Yeah, like I can't imagine medoing that now.
They did a thing we're going todo a belly flop competition.
There's me won the bloody thing, getting up in front of the
kids, and that's what they'llremember.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
It's good on you.
I mean, I've been so guilty ofit where you're spending time
with kids, you're on your phone,you're checking emails, you're
checking a deal.
I'm one of the worst people forthat and it's saying that I've
self-reflected and recognized.
So when the children around,there's no screen time, we don't
do TVs, we don't have a gamesconcert in my house anymore.
We got rid of it all and it'snow about park time, play time,
(14:26):
one-to-one time, and that'ssomething that they appreciate
more than anything, more thanany toy is getting you about.
You can go take a football downthe park for an hour.
The smiles and the jaw on theirface is much bigger than you
having a game on call of duty orfortnight, wherever it may be.
And and that's saying that I'monly realizing really, the past
sort of two years is get out, godo stuff, leave the phone
(14:48):
behind and be humans reallythat's something that my wife
said to me last night.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
I said when we go to, when we go to Spain, I'm going
to try.
She's like no, no, no.
I heard from a therapist younever say I'm going to try.
You say I'm going to do so.
I've set myself strict.
I work for one.
I'll set a one hour a day.
Um, I might even delete theemail apps from my phone.
I'm constantly checking.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
They can wait.
Emails they can wait.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Nothing's as urgent as their family time Out of the
office is going on and I'm goingto do everything I can.
I'm going to try.
I'm going to try to really Iwill enjoy this time See my
parents for the first time sinceJanuary when they moved out to
Spain, and yeah, but my way ofswitching off is is consoles.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, my way of switching off is consoles.
Yeah, in the summer I don'ttouch it.
The console does not go on inthe summer.
Yeah, because I'm out doingthings.
Yeah, of course, in the winteror on a Sunday and stuff Cold
evening or whatever it may be ina winter's evening.
I will.
I'll play a bit of golf on aconsole.
(15:59):
I'll play a bit of golf on aconsole, I'll play a bit of call
of duty, and it is literally Iswitch off doing it, I lit.
It's like the only time mybrain will switch off and focus
on that one thing.
Otherwise my brain's like awashing machine on a spin cycle,
yeah, and it's thinking of thisand this and that, and this and
this and that.
And I really like what you saidin the in the other episode
(16:20):
about having ideas and puttingthem in three columns what needs
to be done now, what can wait,what prioritizing things.
I think that's fuckingbrilliant and I think that's a
real golden nugget that anybodylistening to that episode could
take from it of course, 100always prioritize what needs to
happen now, the short term andthe long term.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
But when it comes to gaming, I completely understand
it's that escapism.
But my dad struck me hard anumber of years back, around 15
years ago, I was really proud toget to a certain level in
whether it's a call of duty or afifa game, and I used to play
all the time.
You know, when you're goingfrom school, you're on it
straight away.
You get to a certain level andyou become a bit of a geek.
And I was an absolute geek,like I was nailing everything
(17:03):
top of whatever.
I said dad, dad, I'm number onein the country for this month
in terms of goals scored orwhatever.
And he turned around and gowhat does that actually mean?
What does that mean?
What are you actually gainingin any way in life from that?
And I'll never forget when hesaid to that and it just struck
me so hard I'm like I look atthe amount of time I've played a
game 32 days on Call of Duty.
(17:25):
I'm not kidding you, 32 days,and that's on one particular
game.
Then you go to the next one, 50days, whatever.
I've worked out I've probablylost a whole year of my life
just gaming, sat there andthat's time you're never going
to get back.
And that's one of the biggestthings for me that I think
parents in the modern day needto understand is those, those
(17:47):
hours and days you can't getback.
You can't and you need to limitit.
If you can, one hour a day orsomething like that.
Some days you plan it three,four or five hours and the day
just gets away.
Yes, you can escape the workstress and so on.
However, hours and the day justgets away.
Yes, you can escape the workstress and so on.
However, if you can beproactive and productive in that
time period, think of theamount of skill sets you can,
you can develop, you know,whereas if you're game for six
(18:08):
hours in a day, you canliterally learn how to build a
website in those six hours, andthen where do you go with those
skill sets and so on and so on,so on.
So I haven't touched the consolefor a number of years for those
reasons.
Because when you doself-reflect go, what does that
actually mean?
If I am number one in Call ofDuty, it means nothing, like it
literally means absolute nothing, and the amount of passion and
(18:28):
stress.
I can get across to that, sincemy dad said it is, is is
endless.
Cause you don't think about it.
You think, oh, I'm just gamefor a few.
You look at your total gametime 30 days.
That's a month, mate.
I've just sat there sat there,yeah, doing nothing, and that's
on one game and then the nextone release, it's another 30
days exactly scary, isn't it,when you look at it like that
it's scary and that's years ofyour life just gone, and there's
(18:50):
times that you'll look back onand go.
I can't believe I wasted thatmuch time in a game because now
that means nothing.
No one, no one goes.
Oh, this is ash, number onequality player.
It doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
No, it does now, though, don't it fortnight oh,
it does if you're incompetitions 15 year olds making
absolute keiko money.
If you're in the competitions,yeah it's a full-time career.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
But if you're the average joe, like I was, you
know you're nothing and that'sthe sad reality.
Until you get that realitycheck, it's um, it's dangerous I
think all technology and screentime is dangerous.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
When I was growing up I grew up when a bit older than
you, when I I grew up when theinternet was invented and in
order I remember I'll neverforget the day my dad bought the
first pc home.
It was a dell pc and it come inabout 35 boxes.
You had the speaker, thekeyboard, the monitor was the
size of this chair and we hadthis box and it was like we sat
(19:45):
it in the middle of the livingroom and all you could do on it
was I don't remember what youcould do.
It was like MS-DOS or somethingstupid.
You could play like Pac-Man andstuff.
And then MSN Messenger cameabout and MSN Messenger was when
it started getting a bit.
I MSN Messenger came about andMSN Messenger was when it
started getting a bit.
I used to get bullied on MSNMessenger, did you?
Yeah, I used to get bullied onMSN Messenger by a load of girls
(20:06):
in school.
I used to stand outside mywindow.
One day, I think as a kid, like13, 14, you're dancing in your
living room in your pants, andthen I'd get messages on MSN.
We saw you dancing, we're goingto tell everybody at school and
(20:27):
stuff, and I think that's whenit started with MSN Messenger.
And now I worry for the youthof today.
One, because they're watchinghighlight reels on Instagram and
TikTok.
That's another reason why.
Why I wanted to do this podcastwas to for it to be raw, to for
it to be real and unfiltered,because there's not enough
people telling you businessowners, that they'll post the
Lamborghinis and the Ferrarisand the their success, but they
won't post the days when theywere crying their eyes out
(20:50):
because it was all about to goto shit, and that was one of the
things.
So that's one of the big thingsfor technology.
And two is, like you said, it'sa massive waste of time.
I waste hours hours and hoursand hours scrolling through
TikTok, scrolling throughInstagram for that next dopamine
hit.
And I'm at a point now I'm like, why am I doing it?
I'm hoping it's just a fad inmy life, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I completely understand.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
When you're trying to run a podcast, when you're
trying to run a business, it'simportant to understand how this
is me like defending the factthat I spend too much time on it
.
It's really important tounderstand that.
That is the number one way tomarket anything these days is
short form video content andseeing what's working, seeing
what's not.
But I think it's important thatwe my daughter, who's 11
(21:36):
tomorrow, she's oh, daddy, look,I've had 150 views on a video.
Not, she's not allowed to puther face on.
She does her makeup and cleansher thing up and then she'll get
or the dog or stuff like that.
And I said it doesn't matterwholesome content.
Yeah, I said it doesn't matter.
I said it's brilliant that youwant to do it because it's very
important to understand it.
It's good to build up aresilience.
(21:58):
She said, oh, someone'scommented no one cares.
I said so, you don't care.
And it's important to build upkids resilience to online trolls
is they should educate them inschools about social media and
tiktok and how it's importantnot to get overwhelmed by not
everyone's gonna like what youdo, but as long as you can be
(22:21):
yourself and enjoy it and enjoyit.
The day you stop enjoyingmaking content.
Stop is the day that you stopcorrect.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Couldn't agree more so do what you like.
Same thing as we discussed inthe other session was do what
you enjoy.
Work wise, whatever it may be.
Otherwise, what's the point?
If you're not enjoying yourvideo making and content, it's
likely that the viewers won'tenjoy it because your passion,
drive and ambitions in thatvideo is not coming through.
And that's the key part Do whatyou like.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, those who say they can normally do.
Those who say they can'tnormally don't yeah, a wise man
once said.
A wise man once said so let'sfinish it there, nath.
Thank you for your time.
I'm sure we'll have you onagain to talk about the other
stories in your life, because Iknow you've got a few.
But that has been the UntoldPodcast, a bonus episode.
(23:11):
If you've got a story to tell,if you've been through some
interesting life events andyou're open and willing to be
honest on camera, then we'd loveto hear from you.
So reach out to us, comment onthis video, dm us, you can email
us socials attheuntoldpodcastcouk, and we
would love to have you onsitting in the chair as a guest
(23:36):
and we'll drill into you and getsome good content.
Let's help other people build acommunity and smash it.
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