June 27, 2025 • 36 mins
Running a business is one thing. Holding your shit together while doing school runs, chasing invoices, and being “fine” all the time? That’s another level.
In Part 2, Kelly and Danielle talk:
- Crying in secret vs. showing vulnerability
- What it's like when YOU are the brand
- The unspoken pressure of being a mum and a boss
- How their partners carry the load (and don’t always get the credit)
It’s raw. It’s relatable. And it might just change how you look at women in your life.
🎙️ Part 3 drops tomorrow.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I thought it'd be really good for other female
listeners to hear what it'sreally like running a business.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I wanted this building from the January.
I didn't get the keys till theend of September.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
That's a long time of anxiety.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
It was awful.
You are not my customer.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Yeah, I'm not going to take that A board in, and
that's fine you are not mycustomer.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
you don't get me To genuinely learn from your
mistakes.
Yeah, own it and admit to itand build on it.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
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that helps you discoverexclusive local deals right here
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That's C-L-O-S-R.
(00:53):
Save money, support local withCloser.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to another episode of the
Untold Podcast.
So we touched on like mentaland sanity.
What?
Like mental health?
What do you do when you have,when things are tough and you
still have to be mums, you stillhave to do the school run, work
(01:13):
going bad, what?
What do you do?
How do you deal with that?
What?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
any tips or tricks.
My sandwich in the car?
That's where I have my lunchwhen I'm on a delivery.
Private crying that's a lie.
I don't cry, I'm a bitemotionally dead, isn't?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
it.
No see, I cry Because if Idon't cry, it will come out as
anger for me.
So I have to cry, I do, I haveto, I have to have some sort of
something has to come out of myface.
Yeah, because it's either goingto be shouting yeah and angry
(01:48):
or crying like I don't have muchof an in-between.
I'm very emotional as a person,actually, and I try and put on
this bravado that I'm likereally tough, I'm not, I'm soft
as shit and yeah my emotions,like you know.
I had to struggle not to cry infront of a client the other day.
Really, yeah, I reallystruggled not to.
I was really holding it back.
I could feel the, the pricklesbehind my eyes and my designer,
(02:08):
carrie, was looking at me likeand it was all because, like, he
thought that I was supposed tobe going out to visit site, um,
but it turns out I did twice buthe was away for the whole month
, yeah, that we were fitting out.
So so for me I was like I did.
Obviously I didn't let it comeacross that way, but yeah, I
(02:32):
struggle to keep it in because,like we were saying earlier,
like it feels so personal whenthings go bad yeah, yeah, it
feels so personal, like when Iworked for other people, I cared
.
I cared about the client andwhat they thought, but also like
I didn't care either, but itwasn't a personal dig.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
if someone doesn't like something you're doing, I
would just be like I coulddirect them off to a manager
somewhere.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I didn't.
I'd just sort of be like okay.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
And now it is you, now it is me, and now your staff
is you?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Your Now.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
it is you Now it is me, and now your staff is you.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah, your brand is you Exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
The shop.
Is you the window is beingcleaned, is you?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, it is such a shift to have to take, and I
think it's a lot ofresponsibility.
The mental- load that women dohave.
There is a big mental load thatwomen have, I think and I'm
sure men have that in their ownway as well.
Men have that in their own wayas well but I think women are
(03:29):
mums, wives, daughters, yeah,business owners in our case.
Um customer satisfaction,people, feedback gatherers, um,
you know, actual florists likeactually designing things.
It's like you're everything inone and I do it's it's hard.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I think there's also an emotional load for women at
home because it's natural thatwomen take on emotional pressure
from, say, their husbands comehome and they've had a rough
time at work.
I think women through thegenerations and this is
something that is just wiredinto women can take on that
emotional pressure from theirhusbands as well and feel it.
You can feel it when they walkthrough the door and they've had
(04:05):
a rough day.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
We did an episode a little while ago and we sat down
and we were like right, who isthe rock in your family, in your
relationship, in everything?
And the episode sort of startedoff as us, as men, feeling like
we're the rock.
We have the financial goals.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yeah, this is a really interesting point and
within 15 minutes of thatepisode, we were like we're not
the Rock at all.
I don't think sometimes menrealise that women just
naturally feel the men's energy.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Natural empaths.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
And if you know they've had a terrible day,
you've kind of take on that, andsometimes I don't think the
guys know that you've taken on alittle bit of that Because
there's nothing we can do aboutit.
I can't go out and do your jobfor you or make it any easier or
, you know, get that deal thatyou're trying to trying to win
but somehow we like absorb someof that stress and that pressure
(04:56):
.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
You know not to give your shit.
Yeah, you know not to give yourshit.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Now's not the time to tell him how shit my day was or
how good it is, because youdon't want him to feel like,
Because you don't want him tofeel even shitter.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, exactly, oh, fuck off my day what you're
rubbing it in now.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
You're rubbing it in now.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
And yeah, we did an episode and it started off like
thinking yeah, we're the rock.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
We're not the rock at all.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
And you look back.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I think you are, I think just like we're ingrained
to be that emotional support Menmake women.
I don't know about you, butPaul, like there's a strength
around him, not because he'sphysically I mean he is strong,
but not because he's feelinglike you just feel safe that
I've got a man at home and thathe's out there working.
I'm working as well, butthere's just something about
(05:48):
having that man there and he'sgot your support, yeah, he has.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, I think something I picked up on earlier
was when you were telling thestory of how paul basically
forced you into doing what youdo kicked you in.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
There's the lace, there's the case.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Make it work and the fact that sean gave up all of
his inheritance into you know, Ithink, when you find someone
that really believes in you.
I don't think either one of youare a rock.
I think you are.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
It's just that well, actually, you know, it's not
even equal.
I heard something reallyinteresting the other day is
relationships are not 50 50 somedays they're 10, 90, yeah, yeah
.
Some days they're 70, 30, yeahyou've just got to be able to
sense when he's 30, I'll be the70.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
I'll pick up some of that Sometimes.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I'm only 10% today and he'll pick up the 90.
And you've just got to be ableto read each other and know.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And make it work, and make it work yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah, but men naturally want to fix things as
well, yeah, they do sometimeswomen don't want you to fix it,
just want you to agree, justwant you to let us cry, or just
want you to give us a hug.
Just agree, cook us dinner orjust something.
Just a little natural act oflove, just perk anyone up?
It's just that kind of thingwith the tea towel, just
anything, just anything justyeah exactly, just anything,
(07:00):
just yeah, just so that I knowyou're there.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
I don't need you to fix it.
I don't need you to fix it, Idon't need you to make it right.
And I'm one of these people aswell.
When I'm really down and I'mstruggling with something, you
could give me the best advice inthe world, and I'll have a
reason why it's not good advice,and that's one of my red flags.
I know that about me, and whatI actually need is for someone
to go yeahlly, that's reallyshit.
That must make you feel reallyshit.
(07:23):
See, this is what.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I'm really glad that we found each other sounds a bit
you know each other.
I'm glad that we came acrosseach other, though, because I
don't know any other women likethey there is just there is
women like that out there.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
It's just that no one puts it forward yeah everyone's
all over social media with allthe best bits.
It's like a trailer.
Everyone's life is a trailer Iwant to see all the edits I want
to see the crushing and burning?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
yeah, I do.
But like this is like we'll, wecould text each other like
really randomly, sometimes likecompletely randomly, sometimes
about flowers, sometimes not.
And, um, you know, I've noticedthat a lot of the time, if
we've got a problem or we'lljust like lightly mention it to
each other, most of the time thereply from evious will be like
that's really shit, but it willbe all right.
(08:10):
Yeah, like we don't try and fixthings, don't have the solution
for you because, you're womenin business.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
You talk to each other about business.
Yeah yeah, we have yeah, do youboth feel like a burden talking
to your friends If things aregoing shit in?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
your business.
There aren't business owners.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, there aren't business owners that are working
jobs.
They could have been your bestfriends for life.
Because this is quiteinteresting, because they say
that men need to talk more abouteverything emotionally.
Now, girls, obviously with yourfriends, you'll talk about oh,
he's an arsehole, or thishappened, or this happened, that
.
But do with your friends you'lltalk about oh, he's an arsehole
, or this happened, or thishappened that.
But do you talk to your friendsabout your business.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I'll offload a little bit to my friends, like I've
had a rough day and they've said, oh, what's up?
And I'll say, but I don'texpect them to understand.
Like I will offload just to sothey know why I'm acting the way
I'm acting, because I'm awindow you can see right through
me.
Like there is no hiding if I'vehad a bad day or a good day.
Like there is, just there's,not there's.
If I've had a bad day, everyoneknows about it.
(09:10):
So they'll ask oh, what's up,what's happened?
And I'll be like, oh, I justhad this arsehole customer, oh,
what, what happened?
And I'll explain.
And I don't expect them tounderstand because they're not
in my, in my field or they'renot you know.
But just letting it off mychest helps, but it's not the
same as talking to anotherperson in business, because
(09:33):
quite often they can relate andyou can feel that yeah, yeah,
that for sure.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I don't really have many friends oh.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
I do.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
I have.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
I have lots of people that I talk to uh, yeah,
talking to, I actually only havea handful of friends, but
really like my actual closestfriends that I would ever say.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I think things are really really, really fucking
bad at the moment.
It's probably one person andshe doesn't own a business, so
she also does the oh, that'sreally shit.
Yeah, but she but in a sense ofshe doesn't get it, she doesn't
know how shit it is, whereas ifI say to you that's really shit
, I know you've you know, and Ifelt it too, so it is difficult.
(10:16):
I also have one of my my best,one of my best friends owns her
own business as well, which istotally like, completely
different to what I do differentoverheads, different, um, you
know valuation differentstretches, you know, and, um, I
find it really hard talking toher about business because you
(10:38):
know her turnover and stuff itis not, it's got, there's
nothing like mine, becausemine's high value sales, hers
isn't.
So it's really difficultbecause she'll be like well, why
are you doing it like that?
and I'm like because that's howit's done, because that's how we
have to do it because of x, y,z, you know, and so I actually
find it quite difficult talkingto my friend that's in business,
(10:59):
because, yeah, you naturallykind of think it's the same but
it's not have different people.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
You must the same have different people you tend
to talk about, like I've gotcertain friends that if paul's
pissing me off.
I'll tell her, because she'llbe like, yeah, he's a wanker.
Tell you what you want to hearum, so you kind of have
different people that you telldifferent things to, because you
actually it is, because youknow they can relate.
So, um, like, if the kids arepissing me off, I wouldn't go to
(11:28):
one of my friends that doesn'thave children about that.
I'd tell a friend that haschildren that they're pissing me
off.
I've got one child who has extraneeds um and he's um, he's is
that.
Paul yeah, as well as him and um, so lots of like extra needs in
school and stuff and he is,he's really hands-on, it's
(11:50):
really hard work and I've reallyonly let off steam to him, not
even to a friend.
I've got a couple of peoplethat I know I've got like
neurodiverse children andthey're the ones that if I
happen to see them or be in thesame, I'll almost want to tell
them what I'm going through atthe moment and I just let let
them know it's the people thathave gone through the same thing
or are going through the samething that you kind of want to
offload those things to.
You kind of pick yourcounsellor for the day.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yeah.
It's difficult, the girls arebetter at talking than boys.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I have to squeeze stuff out of Paul.
Oh yeah, same with Sean.
He might.
Oh yeah, same with Sean, likehe might be quiet for days and
days.
And he was doing it the otherweek.
And even my designer, becausewe work so closely together,
like literally I'm looking ather every day and Sean's in the
showroom every day.
And even she said is Sean okay?
And I was like I don't know.
(12:39):
He won't say anything if he'snot, so I don't really know.
You just have to let him ride itout.
He will eventually.
He will tell me eventually,yeah, but yeah, it's difficult.
He doesn't talk to enoughpeople.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
I don't.
I don't hold on to stuff andPaul does.
So Paul can have a problem andit'll be a tiny problem, but it
will eat and eat and eat away athim.
Even someone swearing at him onthe road because they think
he's done something wrong and heactually hasn't he'll hold on
to that like he can't let it go,whereas I'm a bit like oh,
didn't affect my life, I'm overit, so I can.
(13:13):
I, if I've had a rough day,I'll let it out, it'll be out
there and I can close the bookon it.
I'm quite good at that.
Don't bottle things up.
I also don't dwell on thingsand whereas, um, paul really
struggles to let things go andlike things will irritate him
and he's, he holds on to stuffthat's years old and it bothers
him.
And I'm a bit like Paul.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
You just gotta let that go, yeah you've gotta let
that go, yeah you can't changeit now, you just gotta let it go
one of the big things I'velearned over the last few weeks
is to I know the business is thebusiness, but try and
emotionally unattach yourselffrom it at times you can't I
know it's very difficult, youcan't, but you can fly off the
rails at a customer, whereas ifyou give yourself 15 minutes to
(13:56):
breathe to compose yourself.
Your answer is going to be don'tnot emotionally attach, but
don't act on emotion yeah trynot to act on emotion, and if
that person called you a knob,then let them yeah you're not
ever going to be well, they'rethe things that I can let go.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah, whereas paul wouldn't be able to do that.
I don't think, but I I'm quitegood at like just closing the
door at the end of the day andbeing like right, it's done, now
let's forget about it.
That's an exaggeration.
There has been times wherethings have stayed with me.
I've had certain situations atwork that I still think about
now and it annoys me butgenerally.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm quite good at switching off being able to not
let it ruin, but like learning,that that's a skill you've
learned to close the door at theend of the day yeah and sit in
your car and breathe before yougo home to three screaming kids,
dinner, a dog and whatever elseyou deal with at home.
That's something that I'velearned and over the last six
months is like right, it is whatit is, deal with it tomorrow,
(14:54):
don't let it ruin you now, and Ithink that's really important
for any business owner.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
That's where I think I'm quite good at going home,
getting it out and then beingdone with it.
So we'll tell Paul if we've hadsomething really awful happen
or even really good.
Yeah, see.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
I think I've.
I don't know, though, if that'sbecause I I work with Sean.
Yeah, it's different.
So you know, we shut the door,but then we go home well, he
knows already still, and healready knows that something's
gonna have pissed me off thatday, or you know, I feel upset
by something or annoyed bysomething, or he knows.
(15:32):
And it was even only yesterday,which was Sunday, um, which
father's day as well, yeah, um,and we'd just gone for uh lunch
at Bill in Lewis, because it'sgood for kids.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Oh, we went to Bill's in Horsham, oh, did you?
Yeah, I love Bill's.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
And you know we were like got the kids in the car and
he went, oh, what's on theagenda for tomorrow?
And I was like what?
I was like why are you thinkingabout work now?
Oh yeah, I know he's like sodon't worry, it's like Sunday,
we'll deal with that tomorrow.
Like I'm not, not talking aboutit.
And he's like okay, he getslike almost offended.
That sometimes I don't want,because I I think for me as well
(16:12):
as like I am everything in thatbusiness.
Yeah, I am the designer, thesalesperson, the manager, the
you know overseer.
I'm, I'm everything in it, I'mthe face of it, yeah.
So any problems, any, orniceness as well, don't get me
wrong, but you know it is all onme.
(16:33):
So I feel like I need to tryand not take work home with me
as much as possible, becauseit's not easy, though yeah, well
, sean isn't as involved on thatkind of extent, so for him he's
like okay, what's going ontomorrow?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
and I'm like shut up I'm terrible for working out of
hours I can switch.
You're always working, I canswitch off like thinking about
um work.
But I'm always if someone we doit me and you.
If someone messages mesomething about work, I know if
I don't reply straight awaythey're not getting a reply.
I have to, and even the onesthat start with you don't need
(17:08):
to reply with to this now andI'm like I do, otherwise you'll
never know the answer.
Yeah, it's out to the universe.
If I don't reply now, you willnever know if I can deliver
those flowers next friday,because I have to do things
right there in the moment.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I just need to do things instantly see, I've got
better at that, because I waslike that too.
I'm terrible and I just can'tdo that though this is part of
the reason why we decided tobring a designer on as well,
though, because offload some ofthat.
I was just killing myself, likeI'm just probably not as
mentally as resilient as you are, maybe, but like you know, I
(17:41):
don't know.
Yeah, that's partly why Ibrought on a designer, so I
wasn't like for me I was doing alot of design work at home for
hours like till midnight oneo'clock Because I had to do so
much in the day for businessstuff.
Yeah, you know the backgroundstuff and the chasing things,
(18:01):
Finding receipts and stuff likethat.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Because you're in a shop as well.
Also, if someone walks throughthe door and keeps you busy for
three hours talking about whatbathtub they should have.
That's three hours of work thatyou can do and you have to do it
when you get home.
And I'm not throwing men underthe bus here, but if a woman, I
feel like if a woman sat on herphone or her laptop in the
evening doing her work, it's avery different image to if a man
(18:24):
has sat in the office at homedoing his work till 10 o'clock
at night.
I don't think it's still thenorm for women to work at home
in the evenings, when theyshould be perhaps looking after
the children.
I don't know, that's maybe acontroversial point of view.
I do feel like if I go home Iget looked at.
If I'm sat there working, I dodo all my work on my phone.
(18:46):
I can't work a laptop.
Yeah, I've got Microsoft andI've got everything on my phone
so it looks like I'm justscrolling, but I'm actually
working.
I promise I am actually working.
Sometimes I scroll, but I amactually working and I just
think do my kids look at medifferently when they see me
doing that at home, when Ishould be perhaps washing up or
doing or doing something else?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
as to how they look at.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Paul when he's sat on his laptop working.
Isn't it a bit more normal thatthe bloke can work till 10?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
o'clock?
I don't know.
So for us, I think my boys arevery used to seeing me work.
I'm not sure interestingbecause obviously when this all
started, sean didn't join thebusiness until sort of like july
august time last year.
So I was basically running thatwhole business on my own for
months and he was doing a nineto five that he hated a nine to
(19:33):
five that he hated with apassion, um, but was just doing
it because you have to keep thewheels turning right, um, but
his job was a job that he couldshut the door.
That's it five o'clock, yeah,home time done.
Yeah, nothing, no extra work tobe done, whereas the boys would
.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
That's what they've grown up seeing yeah, constantly
bring the laptop home.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I specifically bought a laptop so I could take it
home, so at least I get to seethe kids.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yeah, whether I can, talk to them or anything it's
different, but I can see themand I'm there and I'm, I'm there
, you know.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I'm present but not at the same time, so I think for
us that's a bit of rolereversal, like I think my boys
battle each other to who canwork.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Like it's like, have you got to go to work or can I
go to work?
I've got to pop back to theshop, I've got to get to the
office.
Like we're, like, have toschedule in our work around our
work around each other.
And like who's doing the schoolpickup today?
I'd like to stay at work.
Can you do the school pickup,shall I?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
it's, it's that's gotta be tough in ourselves
around.
Does that cause conflict?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I'll tell you when it caused conflict and it doesn't
now.
So I'm safe to say this whenpaul was on the tools and he got
to a point in his career withthe property developing stuff
that he you know know, he reallystarted to dislike it and he
was really miserable and I meanthere was lots of stuff
underneath there that caused itwith anxieties and he has OCD.
(20:53):
So he likes a job done properlyand working with other
tradespeople that weren't doingthe job how he liked it was
causing him a lot of stress.
He got to a point in his careerwhere he really didn't like
work but he was working from sixin the morning and sometimes
getting in at midnight doingthese house renos and he would
come home and he'd hate it andhe was miserable and he's
stretched and I was just like Iwish I could work from six in
(21:15):
the morning till midnightbecause I love it.
I want, I really want to be atwork and he earned more money
than me so he had more rightsover the clock than I did.
So if, if he could work, go towork for you know, and do these
stupid long shifts and earnthree times the amount that I
could earn.
Naturally we have to let him gobecause we've got household to
run, yeah, but I used to reallyresent him sometimes for being
(21:37):
able, and then moaning about it.
And I look back now and I'm like, oh, he was just offloading.
He was just offloading to mebecause he was stressed.
But I was like, if I could onlygo to work at six and then not
come back till midnight, I wouldlove it.
I might not, you know, put me inthat position and I probably
wouldn't love it.
That's maybe a bit excessive,but I at the time I used to
really struggle with that and Iused to want more work hours.
(21:59):
It's a lot more equal.
So we're in much more flexiblepositions where he can come home
early to do school pickups.
He's in a different job rolenow and we mold it quite well
around each other.
We kind of have our set dayswhere we know who's doing pick
up and drop off and we've got alittle bit of a rotor going on
where we kind of work quiteequally.
That's good, but my job now isprobably less flexible than his.
(22:23):
Like, my shop has to be open atnine, yeah, and it can't close
until five.
You've got two of them so if Ican't, yeah, and if I can't
cover them I have to be there.
Like I can't put a sign in thedoor saying I've gone home to
pick the kids up, like thisdoesn't work, yeah brb, whereas
if pushed, paul can work fromhome so he could pop out and do
the school pick up and then getback to work at home.
So we've got a little bit.
It's not ideal, but when thosesituations do happen, I think
(22:46):
that's one of the perks ofworking with Sean yeah he does
all the school runs oh, if Icould delegate all the school
runs, I would, though it's notfor me.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I can't hack the school run.
I am really cut.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I love doing the school run a couple of times a
month.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I will honestly I go to school late, and if I'm early
I'll sit in my car so that Idon't have to do small talk on
the playground sorry mums thatmight be listening it's not you,
it's me.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I would say that 90% of mums feel exactly the same as
you, but they still go, and doit.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
It's me.
I would say that 90%.
I would say that 90% of mumsfeel exactly the same as you,
but they still go and do it.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
They absolutely love it, they live for the school
playground chat.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Oh my god.
I've been invited to a newwhatsapp group for the
playground we went to sports dayon Friday and one of the mums
walked up to us and said oh,we've added you because we've
got another little one going toschool in September.
And, um, oh, we've added you tothe new reception group.
I was like please just add Paul.
Add Paul.
(23:49):
Yeah, leave me out of it.
I'm so disorganized I can't doit.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
You tell me something today that it's Roman day next
Friday yeah, absolutely no way,I'm remembering that, tell Paul
he'll remember the boys aredoing business week this week at
school and which Maybe I needto go to that.
Yeah, well, they're doingbusiness week, so they've got to
make as much profit as they canon like they're selling like
old key rings, it's super cool,amazing concept, and I love it,
(24:14):
apart from the group that he'sbeen put in.
I said to Isaacac I was likewhat are you in charge of?
He was like key chains and likeloom bands I don't know what
they are bracelets or something,yeah and I was like, okay cool.
I was like have a look onamazon, mate, find some really
cheap key rings and, um, likewe'll sell them off for like a
pound each or something, packagethem up nicely yeah like sorted
(24:35):
.
He was like, okay, cool, he wasdead happy with that.
Anyway, of course, I'm in agroup chat with the other kids
that he's in with, and over theweekend I got these like
pictures of handmade key ringsand handmade lube bands and I
was like I'm really sorry, but Ireally don't have time to do
that but, I, love that you canyeah, and.
I think they're amazing.
Yeah, so props to you becauseyou are mumming life like so
(24:59):
good.
But I have just bought plastictat from.
Amazon and he's going to sellthem.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Oh, I'm like that with the cake sale Like all
these homemade cakes turning upat school and I'm like no.
I literally ran over to theconvenience shop this morning,
roughed up a banana loaf thatwas left on the shelf and
changed its tin and took it downthere.
There you go.
Absolutely not for me.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Work smarter, not harder one.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
I think one time there was like a cake sale and I
had forgotten.
But even if I hadn't forgotten,I wouldn't have been able to
bake a cake.
I gave the teacher a fiver andI was just like here, I'm so
sorry I've forgotten the cakehere's fiver.
She was like we can't acceptcash.
I was like, well, we need acake.
I was like what?
Just take the cash, put it inthe PTA pot, that's what the
cakes are being sold.
Yeah, right, like she was likeI'm sorry.
(25:41):
So I was like, oh, so now I'mgonna have to spend five quid on
these cakes.
I'm gonna take home all thesecakes that are full of snot and
hairs that someone else hasbaked, like they just.
And I was just like, oh, and Iwalked away and I was just like,
oh god, I feel like that awfulmum that's just tried to throw
money at an issue.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Yeah, but, it's a fiver.
Yeah, take this, go on.
Yeah, just give them a fiver.
It was the worst thing.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
It actually wasn't me handing over the fiver.
I'd given it to Romeo to giveto his teacher and I was like
give your teacher the fiver, andshe came back out of it after
school and gave it back to meshe was like it was cakes.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Do you know what that feels?
So like?
I feel judgment from the schoolsometimes.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Oh, bedtime I do.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Sometimes I feel the judgment and you know,
especially when we were openingthe shop and I didn't have any
time for my children, I thinkfor about a year, literally.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
I was missing bedtimes.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I was missing them waking up.
I wasn't seeing them likebarely at all.
Yeah, and you know they scoredemail about something.
I just be like look, I just I'mso busy right now.
I just I can't deal with Withthe space.
I just need you to just keepteaching my kids.
Okay, they're happy, they'refine.
Yeah, like I don't need to knowabout all this stuff.
(26:57):
Can you volunteer for this?
Can you do that?
And I can't, like I just can't.
Yeah, and I think there was aparent's evening where they were
like we know you're very busyoh, I get that all the time.
We know you're very busy and youknow, bear in mind, my kids
school is literally up the roadfrom the shop.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
We know you're very busy, but um you know if you
could get involved in someschool activities it really
boosts the boys esteem and Ithought oh, please like if I had
spare time, I'd rather justspend it with the boys it's the
fact that she was directing andme sean was sitting right next
to me but she was looking at mesaying it and I'm like I don't
even like children.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
I don't want to do stuff like that sean will, I'm
sure he will, and they're well,it'd be great if you could, and
I'm like no yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
And this is the thing You're busy You're busy running
a business and, like I said,about what have you had to
sacrifice?
There are certain people, mums,that would be like oh my God,
you're terrible for doing that?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Yeah, 100%, and I know maybe they might listen to
this, my thing any of my friendsand family.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
I was the least maternal person.
How I've ended up having allthe kids I have no idea, but I'm
the least maternal person in myfamily.
I've never been that interestedin having kids and I'm not
really that interested in otherpeople's kids no, I'm not either
like it doesn't come naturallyto some people.
They're just so natural aroundchildren and it just isn't me.
(28:23):
I can just about cope with myown kids.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
The baby stage, yeah maybe 10, 11, 12, because they
can have a proper conversationbut in the middle teenagers
awful, yeah, so come back whenyou're 21, yeah we'll go to the
party.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I'm just not.
All women are naturallymaternal.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Just like not all women are naturally maternal.
Just like not all men arenaturally paternal.
Like I just don't have it in meto be Sean's more maternal than
I am oh same with Paul.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yeah, yeah, definitely same with Paul so he
would have kids endless, hewouldn't he would keep going he
can't now, he can't now.
I don't want to sound like aswomen in business and I keep
referring to this because Ithink it's quite important.
Have you ever been put down,have you ever been
underestimated for being a womanand trying to run a business by
(29:11):
anybody?
How did it make you feel, anddo you agree with it?
Did you, or did that fuel yourfire, to be like no, do you know
what?
Fuck you, I can do this.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
You know what I get all the time when I've had, I've
quite often um had staff thatare older than me, like florists
or shopkeepers that are olderthan me, and someone will come
in to ask a question and they'llask my work experience student
because she's older than me andthey'll, they'll look at her and
I'll even then answer thequestion and they still look at
(29:39):
the older person, thinking thatthey must be in charge because
they're older, or they must bein charge.
Yeah, it's just like I'vealways had an issue with people
can't get their heads around.
Maybe not now I've aged a lot,but when I first opened the shop
maybe I look quite young.
I like to think you still lookyoung.
People like look past me,thinking young blonde female
(30:01):
can't be in charge, can'tpossibly own this business, that
I get that a lot and I go.
You know, ash, I go to quite alot.
Well, not so much now, but I goto some networking stuff and
it's all very corporate and it'squite male dominated finance
lawyers, solicitors, and I willget the oh, you're a florist,
(30:21):
what's a florist, young florist,doing here in in a room full of
trying to sell you flowers, youknow yeah and then I'm laughing
because 90 of them walk outwith my cards and phone me up
for flowers.
I think that's why I was there.
I was there because everyoneneeds a florist.
I might not be a big player inthe corporate world, you might
not find me in canary wharf, butI've got a space and I just
(30:42):
want to own it you do and you doyeah brilliant.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
What about you, danny ?
Because your industry isprobably very male dominated
very very, I would imagine a lotof the reps, a lot of the
fitters, a lot of every fitterI've come, I haven't.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
I'm yet to come across a female bathroom fitter,
to be fair um, that's a dailyreminder, isn't it, that there's
still something gender relatedin these industries and, yeah,
this, this industry is very maledominated and, um, yeah, I,
(31:22):
usually what I come across is um, a couple come in because they
want to start talking about, youknow, getting their bathrooms
done and we'll be talking.
And I know my shit, I do, and Idon't care if that sounds
big-headed, I don't care if thatsounds like I'm full of myself.
I know what I'm doing, I reallyreally do and I, if I don't
(31:42):
know what I'm doing, I will, Iwill find out.
But 98% of the time I'm doing,so, the amount of times I do get
men unintentionally, most ofthe time it will be the men that
will talk to me about drainageand are, but the waste is here
and and I'm like, yeah, that'sfine, I, I, you don't need to
(32:05):
tell me that, I know, I knowwhat's going on.
Um, I have to, really, Inormally have to find to make it
stop.
I will have to find a way ofpicking holes in what they're
telling me, because most of thetime they're not fitters,
they're not, they're not youknow, they don't know they're
diy enthusiasts and there's areason why they're in with you
(32:28):
to come to see me because theydon't know what they're doing,
and I have to sometimes I haveto subtly pick those little
holes apart to just prove myselfand insert my knowledge into
the bits that they aren't sayingbecause they don't know exists
just to make them be like, okay,she knows her shit, she does
know what she's doing.
(32:49):
Then okay, fair enough.
Um, you know, I will I have.
One of my biggest things is Iwill have men within the
industry that call me aggressiveand that really I can't explain
to you how much rage it fillsme with, because actually I'm
not aggressive, I'm justassertive and I know what I want
(33:13):
and I know how to get thingsdone.
That does not make me aggressivethat just makes you scared of
me because I'm a threat now andum, that's what, that's why,
back when we were talking aboutme being actually really
emotional, that's the front thatI have to.
I have to put that front becauseyou're in that male dominated
because I'm in that once I'mcomfortable with people and
(33:34):
somebody knows me and I knowthat they respect me for knowing
what I know Then the emotionalside of me comes out.
But you know, I do get calledaggressive a lot.
I'm like no, I'm not.
I'm not aggressive, I'massertive.
You just don't like that, youdon't like something like that.
yeah, it's something that makesyou feel uncomfortable Because,
(33:54):
whether you like that feeling ornot, it's because it is a
female, a younger female,telling you something that you
didn't actually know, or havingto correct you on something.
Yeah, and that's actually whatgrinds on on some men.
So that is something thatdefinitely is a thing, and I am
having to constantly fight thatbattle.
And I know other franchisees aswell.
(34:15):
There are a few femalefranchisees, actually, which
we're really proud of as a group, um, but some of the longest
standing franchisees are femaleowned and you know, someone was
saying the other day that sheconstantly has to assert herself
.
You know, because of the spaceyou're in, because you have to
fill your space, yeah, with Iknow what I'm doing, um, and
(34:38):
that is difficult.
I mean, when we're turning upto these awards, these award
ceremonies, you know like 900people strong and I can tell you
now, 85% of them are men, andthat can feel really yeah, but
how much more amazing is it thatyou took home one of those
awards in those statistics?
yeah, absolutely, and I'm veryproud of it, really really proud
(35:01):
of it, especially as the lastone we won was like a fully
judged.
You know, a judge comes aroundand actually you spoke to her,
didn't you?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
funnily enough.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Um, and yeah, it's.
It can be difficult sometimesand I have to remind myself
sometimes that not every man isthinking that as well.
Yeah, I have to remind myselfthat not every bloke is walking
in going.
Of course she's a girl, shedon't know what she's doing.
I have to remind myself of that, actually, that there are quite
a lot of men out there thatwon't even think about oh well,
(35:30):
you're a girl.
You don't know what you'retalking about.
There's loads of men that don'tthink like that, but it's the
ones that do that stick out thatyou think well yeah hold on,
you've got to be a bit morebullshit here.
Yeah, but I also started workingwithin the trade.
So you know I was in, I wasworking for like Dulux decorator
center, like trade um tradecounter as soon as I left school
(35:51):
and then I went into likeplumbing trade centers and
things like that.
So I'm quite used to being inmale dominated places which I
think is really helping to me asI've grown.
Now I think yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
I mean, it's important, don't matter what.
You're always gonna have peoplelook down on you, aren't you?
You're always gonna, no matterwhether you're a male or a
female you're always gonna havepeople.
I mean, look at some of these16 year olds making more money
than all three of us puttogether like it's crazy.
I thought it'd be really good for other female
listeners to hear what it'sreally like running a business.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I wanted this building from the January.
I didn't get the keys till theend of September.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
That's a long time of anxiety.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
It was awful.
You are not my customer.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Yeah, I'm not going to take that A board in, and
that's fine you are not mycustomer.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
you don't get me To genuinely learn from your
mistakes.
Yeah, own it and admit to itand build on it.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Today's episode is sponsored by Closer, the app
that helps you discoverexclusive local deals right here
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(00:53):
Save money, support local withCloser.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to another episode of the
Untold Podcast.
So we touched on like mentaland sanity.
What?
Like mental health?
What do you do when you have,when things are tough and you
still have to be mums, you stillhave to do the school run, work
(01:13):
going bad, what?
What do you do?
How do you deal with that?
What?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
any tips or tricks.
My sandwich in the car?
That's where I have my lunchwhen I'm on a delivery.
Private crying that's a lie.
I don't cry, I'm a bitemotionally dead, isn't?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
it.
No see, I cry Because if Idon't cry, it will come out as
anger for me.
So I have to cry, I do, I haveto, I have to have some sort of
something has to come out of myface.
Yeah, because it's either goingto be shouting yeah and angry
(01:48):
or crying like I don't have muchof an in-between.
I'm very emotional as a person,actually, and I try and put on
this bravado that I'm likereally tough, I'm not, I'm soft
as shit and yeah my emotions,like you know.
I had to struggle not to cry infront of a client the other day.
Really, yeah, I reallystruggled not to.
I was really holding it back.
I could feel the, the pricklesbehind my eyes and my designer,
(02:08):
carrie, was looking at me likeand it was all because, like, he
thought that I was supposed tobe going out to visit site, um,
but it turns out I did twice buthe was away for the whole month
, yeah, that we were fitting out.
So so for me I was like I did.
Obviously I didn't let it comeacross that way, but yeah, I
(02:32):
struggle to keep it in because,like we were saying earlier,
like it feels so personal whenthings go bad yeah, yeah, it
feels so personal, like when Iworked for other people, I cared
.
I cared about the client andwhat they thought, but also like
I didn't care either, but itwasn't a personal dig.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
if someone doesn't like something you're doing, I
would just be like I coulddirect them off to a manager
somewhere.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I didn't.
I'd just sort of be like okay.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
And now it is you, now it is me, and now your staff
is you?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Your Now.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
it is you Now it is me, and now your staff is you.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah, your brand is you Exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
The shop.
Is you the window is beingcleaned, is you?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, it is such a shift to have to take, and I
think it's a lot ofresponsibility.
The mental- load that women dohave.
There is a big mental load thatwomen have, I think and I'm
sure men have that in their ownway as well.
Men have that in their own wayas well but I think women are
(03:29):
mums, wives, daughters, yeah,business owners in our case.
Um customer satisfaction,people, feedback gatherers, um,
you know, actual florists likeactually designing things.
It's like you're everything inone and I do it's it's hard.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I think there's also an emotional load for women at
home because it's natural thatwomen take on emotional pressure
from, say, their husbands comehome and they've had a rough
time at work.
I think women through thegenerations and this is
something that is just wiredinto women can take on that
emotional pressure from theirhusbands as well and feel it.
You can feel it when they walkthrough the door and they've had
(04:05):
a rough day.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
We did an episode a little while ago and we sat down
and we were like right, who isthe rock in your family, in your
relationship, in everything?
And the episode sort of startedoff as us, as men, feeling like
we're the rock.
We have the financial goals.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yeah, this is a really interesting point and
within 15 minutes of thatepisode, we were like we're not
the Rock at all.
I don't think sometimes menrealise that women just
naturally feel the men's energy.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Natural empaths.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
And if you know they've had a terrible day,
you've kind of take on that, andsometimes I don't think the
guys know that you've taken on alittle bit of that Because
there's nothing we can do aboutit.
I can't go out and do your jobfor you or make it any easier or
, you know, get that deal thatyou're trying to trying to win
but somehow we like absorb someof that stress and that pressure
(04:56):
.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
You know not to give your shit.
Yeah, you know not to give yourshit.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Now's not the time to tell him how shit my day was or
how good it is, because youdon't want him to feel like,
Because you don't want him tofeel even shitter.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, exactly, oh, fuck off my day what you're
rubbing it in now.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
You're rubbing it in now.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
And yeah, we did an episode and it started off like
thinking yeah, we're the rock.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
We're not the rock at all.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
And you look back.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I think you are, I think just like we're ingrained
to be that emotional support Menmake women.
I don't know about you, butPaul, like there's a strength
around him, not because he'sphysically I mean he is strong,
but not because he's feelinglike you just feel safe that
I've got a man at home and thathe's out there working.
I'm working as well, butthere's just something about
(05:48):
having that man there and he'sgot your support, yeah, he has.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, I think something I picked up on earlier
was when you were telling thestory of how paul basically
forced you into doing what youdo kicked you in.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
There's the lace, there's the case.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Make it work and the fact that sean gave up all of
his inheritance into you know, Ithink, when you find someone
that really believes in you.
I don't think either one of youare a rock.
I think you are.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
It's just that well, actually, you know, it's not
even equal.
I heard something reallyinteresting the other day is
relationships are not 50 50 somedays they're 10, 90, yeah, yeah
.
Some days they're 70, 30, yeahyou've just got to be able to
sense when he's 30, I'll be the70.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
I'll pick up some of that Sometimes.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I'm only 10% today and he'll pick up the 90.
And you've just got to be ableto read each other and know.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And make it work, and make it work yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah, but men naturally want to fix things as
well, yeah, they do sometimeswomen don't want you to fix it,
just want you to agree, justwant you to let us cry, or just
want you to give us a hug.
Just agree, cook us dinner orjust something.
Just a little natural act oflove, just perk anyone up?
It's just that kind of thingwith the tea towel, just
anything, just anything justyeah exactly, just anything,
(07:00):
just yeah, just so that I knowyou're there.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
I don't need you to fix it.
I don't need you to fix it, Idon't need you to make it right.
And I'm one of these people aswell.
When I'm really down and I'mstruggling with something, you
could give me the best advice inthe world, and I'll have a
reason why it's not good advice,and that's one of my red flags.
I know that about me, and whatI actually need is for someone
to go yeahlly, that's reallyshit.
That must make you feel reallyshit.
(07:23):
See, this is what.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I'm really glad that we found each other sounds a bit
you know each other.
I'm glad that we came acrosseach other, though, because I
don't know any other women likethey there is just there is
women like that out there.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
It's just that no one puts it forward yeah everyone's
all over social media with allthe best bits.
It's like a trailer.
Everyone's life is a trailer Iwant to see all the edits I want
to see the crushing and burning?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
yeah, I do.
But like this is like we'll, wecould text each other like
really randomly, sometimes likecompletely randomly, sometimes
about flowers, sometimes not.
And, um, you know, I've noticedthat a lot of the time, if
we've got a problem or we'lljust like lightly mention it to
each other, most of the time thereply from evious will be like
that's really shit, but it willbe all right.
(08:10):
Yeah, like we don't try and fixthings, don't have the solution
for you because, you're womenin business.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
You talk to each other about business.
Yeah yeah, we have yeah, do youboth feel like a burden talking
to your friends If things aregoing shit in?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
your business.
There aren't business owners.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, there aren't business owners that are working
jobs.
They could have been your bestfriends for life.
Because this is quiteinteresting, because they say
that men need to talk more abouteverything emotionally.
Now, girls, obviously with yourfriends, you'll talk about oh,
he's an arsehole, or thishappened, or this happened, that
.
But do with your friends you'lltalk about oh, he's an arsehole
, or this happened, or thishappened that.
But do you talk to your friendsabout your business.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I'll offload a little bit to my friends, like I've
had a rough day and they've said, oh, what's up?
And I'll say, but I don'texpect them to understand.
Like I will offload just to sothey know why I'm acting the way
I'm acting, because I'm awindow you can see right through
me.
Like there is no hiding if I'vehad a bad day or a good day.
Like there is, just there's,not there's.
If I've had a bad day, everyoneknows about it.
(09:10):
So they'll ask oh, what's up,what's happened?
And I'll be like, oh, I justhad this arsehole customer, oh,
what, what happened?
And I'll explain.
And I don't expect them tounderstand because they're not
in my, in my field or they'renot you know.
But just letting it off mychest helps, but it's not the
same as talking to anotherperson in business, because
(09:33):
quite often they can relate andyou can feel that yeah, yeah,
that for sure.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I don't really have many friends oh.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
I do.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
I have.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
I have lots of people that I talk to uh, yeah,
talking to, I actually only havea handful of friends, but
really like my actual closestfriends that I would ever say.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I think things are really really, really fucking
bad at the moment.
It's probably one person andshe doesn't own a business, so
she also does the oh, that'sreally shit.
Yeah, but she but in a sense ofshe doesn't get it, she doesn't
know how shit it is, whereas ifI say to you that's really shit
, I know you've you know, and Ifelt it too, so it is difficult.
(10:16):
I also have one of my my best,one of my best friends owns her
own business as well, which istotally like, completely
different to what I do differentoverheads, different, um, you
know valuation differentstretches, you know, and, um, I
find it really hard talking toher about business because you
(10:38):
know her turnover and stuff itis not, it's got, there's
nothing like mine, becausemine's high value sales, hers
isn't.
So it's really difficultbecause she'll be like well, why
are you doing it like that?
and I'm like because that's howit's done, because that's how we
have to do it because of x, y,z, you know, and so I actually
find it quite difficult talkingto my friend that's in business,
(10:59):
because, yeah, you naturallykind of think it's the same but
it's not have different people.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
You must the same have different people you tend
to talk about, like I've gotcertain friends that if paul's
pissing me off.
I'll tell her, because she'llbe like, yeah, he's a wanker.
Tell you what you want to hearum, so you kind of have
different people that you telldifferent things to, because you
actually it is, because youknow they can relate.
So, um, like, if the kids arepissing me off, I wouldn't go to
(11:28):
one of my friends that doesn'thave children about that.
I'd tell a friend that haschildren that they're pissing me
off.
I've got one child who has extraneeds um and he's um, he's is
that.
Paul yeah, as well as him and um, so lots of like extra needs in
school and stuff and he is,he's really hands-on, it's
(11:50):
really hard work and I've reallyonly let off steam to him, not
even to a friend.
I've got a couple of peoplethat I know I've got like
neurodiverse children andthey're the ones that if I
happen to see them or be in thesame, I'll almost want to tell
them what I'm going through atthe moment and I just let let
them know it's the people thathave gone through the same thing
or are going through the samething that you kind of want to
offload those things to.
You kind of pick yourcounsellor for the day.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yeah.
It's difficult, the girls arebetter at talking than boys.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I have to squeeze stuff out of Paul.
Oh yeah, same with Sean.
He might.
Oh yeah, same with Sean, likehe might be quiet for days and
days.
And he was doing it the otherweek.
And even my designer, becausewe work so closely together,
like literally I'm looking ather every day and Sean's in the
showroom every day.
And even she said is Sean okay?
And I was like I don't know.
(12:39):
He won't say anything if he'snot, so I don't really know.
You just have to let him ride itout.
He will eventually.
He will tell me eventually,yeah, but yeah, it's difficult.
He doesn't talk to enoughpeople.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
I don't.
I don't hold on to stuff andPaul does.
So Paul can have a problem andit'll be a tiny problem, but it
will eat and eat and eat away athim.
Even someone swearing at him onthe road because they think
he's done something wrong and heactually hasn't he'll hold on
to that like he can't let it go,whereas I'm a bit like oh,
didn't affect my life, I'm overit, so I can.
(13:13):
I, if I've had a rough day,I'll let it out, it'll be out
there and I can close the bookon it.
I'm quite good at that.
Don't bottle things up.
I also don't dwell on thingsand whereas, um, paul really
struggles to let things go andlike things will irritate him
and he's, he holds on to stuffthat's years old and it bothers
him.
And I'm a bit like Paul.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
You just gotta let that go, yeah you've gotta let
that go, yeah you can't changeit now, you just gotta let it go
one of the big things I'velearned over the last few weeks
is to I know the business is thebusiness, but try and
emotionally unattach yourselffrom it at times you can't I
know it's very difficult, youcan't, but you can fly off the
rails at a customer, whereas ifyou give yourself 15 minutes to
(13:56):
breathe to compose yourself.
Your answer is going to be don'tnot emotionally attach, but
don't act on emotion yeah trynot to act on emotion, and if
that person called you a knob,then let them yeah you're not
ever going to be well, they'rethe things that I can let go.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah, whereas paul wouldn't be able to do that.
I don't think, but I I'm quitegood at like just closing the
door at the end of the day andbeing like right, it's done, now
let's forget about it.
That's an exaggeration.
There has been times wherethings have stayed with me.
I've had certain situations atwork that I still think about
now and it annoys me butgenerally.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm quite good at switching off being able to not
let it ruin, but like learning,that that's a skill you've
learned to close the door at theend of the day yeah and sit in
your car and breathe before yougo home to three screaming kids,
dinner, a dog and whatever elseyou deal with at home.
That's something that I'velearned and over the last six
months is like right, it is whatit is, deal with it tomorrow,
(14:54):
don't let it ruin you now, and Ithink that's really important
for any business owner.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
That's where I think I'm quite good at going home,
getting it out and then beingdone with it.
So we'll tell Paul if we've hadsomething really awful happen
or even really good.
Yeah, see.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
I think I've.
I don't know, though, if that'sbecause I I work with Sean.
Yeah, it's different.
So you know, we shut the door,but then we go home well, he
knows already still, and healready knows that something's
gonna have pissed me off thatday, or you know, I feel upset
by something or annoyed bysomething, or he knows.
(15:32):
And it was even only yesterday,which was Sunday, um, which
father's day as well, yeah, um,and we'd just gone for uh lunch
at Bill in Lewis, because it'sgood for kids.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Oh, we went to Bill's in Horsham, oh, did you?
Yeah, I love Bill's.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
And you know we were like got the kids in the car and
he went, oh, what's on theagenda for tomorrow?
And I was like what?
I was like why are you thinkingabout work now?
Oh yeah, I know he's like sodon't worry, it's like Sunday,
we'll deal with that tomorrow.
Like I'm not, not talking aboutit.
And he's like okay, he getslike almost offended.
That sometimes I don't want,because I I think for me as well
(16:12):
as like I am everything in thatbusiness.
Yeah, I am the designer, thesalesperson, the manager, the
you know overseer.
I'm, I'm everything in it, I'mthe face of it, yeah.
So any problems, any, orniceness as well, don't get me
wrong, but you know it is all onme.
(16:33):
So I feel like I need to tryand not take work home with me
as much as possible, becauseit's not easy, though yeah, well
, sean isn't as involved on thatkind of extent, so for him he's
like okay, what's going ontomorrow?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
and I'm like shut up I'm terrible for working out of
hours I can switch.
You're always working, I canswitch off like thinking about
um work.
But I'm always if someone we doit me and you.
If someone messages mesomething about work, I know if
I don't reply straight awaythey're not getting a reply.
I have to, and even the onesthat start with you don't need
(17:08):
to reply with to this now andI'm like I do, otherwise you'll
never know the answer.
Yeah, it's out to the universe.
If I don't reply now, you willnever know if I can deliver
those flowers next friday,because I have to do things
right there in the moment.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I just need to do things instantly see, I've got
better at that, because I waslike that too.
I'm terrible and I just can'tdo that though this is part of
the reason why we decided tobring a designer on as well,
though, because offload some ofthat.
I was just killing myself, likeI'm just probably not as
mentally as resilient as you are, maybe, but like you know, I
(17:41):
don't know.
Yeah, that's partly why Ibrought on a designer, so I
wasn't like for me I was doing alot of design work at home for
hours like till midnight oneo'clock Because I had to do so
much in the day for businessstuff.
Yeah, you know the backgroundstuff and the chasing things,
(18:01):
Finding receipts and stuff likethat.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Because you're in a shop as well.
Also, if someone walks throughthe door and keeps you busy for
three hours talking about whatbathtub they should have.
That's three hours of work thatyou can do and you have to do it
when you get home.
And I'm not throwing men underthe bus here, but if a woman, I
feel like if a woman sat on herphone or her laptop in the
evening doing her work, it's avery different image to if a man
(18:24):
has sat in the office at homedoing his work till 10 o'clock
at night.
I don't think it's still thenorm for women to work at home
in the evenings, when theyshould be perhaps looking after
the children.
I don't know, that's maybe acontroversial point of view.
I do feel like if I go home Iget looked at.
If I'm sat there working, I dodo all my work on my phone.
(18:46):
I can't work a laptop.
Yeah, I've got Microsoft andI've got everything on my phone
so it looks like I'm justscrolling, but I'm actually
working.
I promise I am actually working.
Sometimes I scroll, but I amactually working and I just
think do my kids look at medifferently when they see me
doing that at home, when Ishould be perhaps washing up or
doing or doing something else?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
as to how they look at.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Paul when he's sat on his laptop working.
Isn't it a bit more normal thatthe bloke can work till 10?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
o'clock?
I don't know.
So for us, I think my boys arevery used to seeing me work.
I'm not sure interestingbecause obviously when this all
started, sean didn't join thebusiness until sort of like july
august time last year.
So I was basically running thatwhole business on my own for
months and he was doing a nineto five that he hated a nine to
(19:33):
five that he hated with apassion, um, but was just doing
it because you have to keep thewheels turning right, um, but
his job was a job that he couldshut the door.
That's it five o'clock, yeah,home time done.
Yeah, nothing, no extra work tobe done, whereas the boys would
.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
That's what they've grown up seeing yeah, constantly
bring the laptop home.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I specifically bought a laptop so I could take it
home, so at least I get to seethe kids.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yeah, whether I can, talk to them or anything it's
different, but I can see themand I'm there and I'm, I'm there
, you know.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I'm present but not at the same time, so I think for
us that's a bit of rolereversal, like I think my boys
battle each other to who canwork.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Like it's like, have you got to go to work or can I
go to work?
I've got to pop back to theshop, I've got to get to the
office.
Like we're, like, have toschedule in our work around our
work around each other.
And like who's doing the schoolpickup today?
I'd like to stay at work.
Can you do the school pickup,shall I?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
it's, it's that's gotta be tough in ourselves
around.
Does that cause conflict?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I'll tell you when it caused conflict and it doesn't
now.
So I'm safe to say this whenpaul was on the tools and he got
to a point in his career withthe property developing stuff
that he you know know, he reallystarted to dislike it and he
was really miserable and I meanthere was lots of stuff
underneath there that caused itwith anxieties and he has OCD.
(20:53):
So he likes a job done properlyand working with other
tradespeople that weren't doingthe job how he liked it was
causing him a lot of stress.
He got to a point in his careerwhere he really didn't like
work but he was working from sixin the morning and sometimes
getting in at midnight doingthese house renos and he would
come home and he'd hate it andhe was miserable and he's
stretched and I was just like Iwish I could work from six in
(21:15):
the morning till midnightbecause I love it.
I want, I really want to be atwork and he earned more money
than me so he had more rightsover the clock than I did.
So if, if he could work, go towork for you know, and do these
stupid long shifts and earnthree times the amount that I
could earn.
Naturally we have to let him gobecause we've got household to
run, yeah, but I used to reallyresent him sometimes for being
(21:37):
able, and then moaning about it.
And I look back now and I'm like, oh, he was just offloading.
He was just offloading to mebecause he was stressed.
But I was like, if I could onlygo to work at six and then not
come back till midnight, I wouldlove it.
I might not, you know, put me inthat position and I probably
wouldn't love it.
That's maybe a bit excessive,but I at the time I used to
really struggle with that and Iused to want more work hours.
(21:59):
It's a lot more equal.
So we're in much more flexiblepositions where he can come home
early to do school pickups.
He's in a different job rolenow and we mold it quite well
around each other.
We kind of have our set dayswhere we know who's doing pick
up and drop off and we've got alittle bit of a rotor going on
where we kind of work quiteequally.
That's good, but my job now isprobably less flexible than his.
(22:23):
Like, my shop has to be open atnine, yeah, and it can't close
until five.
You've got two of them so if Ican't, yeah, and if I can't
cover them I have to be there.
Like I can't put a sign in thedoor saying I've gone home to
pick the kids up, like thisdoesn't work, yeah brb, whereas
if pushed, paul can work fromhome so he could pop out and do
the school pick up and then getback to work at home.
So we've got a little bit.
It's not ideal, but when thosesituations do happen, I think
(22:46):
that's one of the perks ofworking with Sean yeah he does
all the school runs oh, if Icould delegate all the school
runs, I would, though it's notfor me.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I can't hack the school run.
I am really cut.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I love doing the school run a couple of times a
month.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I will honestly I go to school late, and if I'm early
I'll sit in my car so that Idon't have to do small talk on
the playground sorry mums thatmight be listening it's not you,
it's me.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I would say that 90% of mums feel exactly the same as
you, but they still go, and doit.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
It's me.
I would say that 90%.
I would say that 90% of mumsfeel exactly the same as you,
but they still go and do it.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
They absolutely love it, they live for the school
playground chat.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Oh my god.
I've been invited to a newwhatsapp group for the
playground we went to sports dayon Friday and one of the mums
walked up to us and said oh,we've added you because we've
got another little one going toschool in September.
And, um, oh, we've added you tothe new reception group.
I was like please just add Paul.
Add Paul.
(23:49):
Yeah, leave me out of it.
I'm so disorganized I can't doit.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
You tell me something today that it's Roman day next
Friday yeah, absolutely no way,I'm remembering that, tell Paul
he'll remember the boys aredoing business week this week at
school and which Maybe I needto go to that.
Yeah, well, they're doingbusiness week, so they've got to
make as much profit as they canon like they're selling like
old key rings, it's super cool,amazing concept, and I love it,
(24:14):
apart from the group that he'sbeen put in.
I said to Isaacac I was likewhat are you in charge of?
He was like key chains and likeloom bands I don't know what
they are bracelets or something,yeah and I was like, okay cool.
I was like have a look onamazon, mate, find some really
cheap key rings and, um, likewe'll sell them off for like a
pound each or something, packagethem up nicely yeah like sorted
(24:35):
.
He was like, okay, cool, he wasdead happy with that.
Anyway, of course, I'm in agroup chat with the other kids
that he's in with, and over theweekend I got these like
pictures of handmade key ringsand handmade lube bands and I
was like I'm really sorry, but Ireally don't have time to do
that but, I, love that you canyeah, and.
I think they're amazing.
Yeah, so props to you becauseyou are mumming life like so
(24:59):
good.
But I have just bought plastictat from.
Amazon and he's going to sellthem.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Oh, I'm like that with the cake sale Like all
these homemade cakes turning upat school and I'm like no.
I literally ran over to theconvenience shop this morning,
roughed up a banana loaf thatwas left on the shelf and
changed its tin and took it downthere.
There you go.
Absolutely not for me.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Work smarter, not harder one.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
I think one time there was like a cake sale and I
had forgotten.
But even if I hadn't forgotten,I wouldn't have been able to
bake a cake.
I gave the teacher a fiver andI was just like here, I'm so
sorry I've forgotten the cakehere's fiver.
She was like we can't acceptcash.
I was like, well, we need acake.
I was like what?
Just take the cash, put it inthe PTA pot, that's what the
cakes are being sold.
Yeah, right, like she was likeI'm sorry.
(25:41):
So I was like, oh, so now I'mgonna have to spend five quid on
these cakes.
I'm gonna take home all thesecakes that are full of snot and
hairs that someone else hasbaked, like they just.
And I was just like, oh, and Iwalked away and I was just like,
oh god, I feel like that awfulmum that's just tried to throw
money at an issue.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Yeah, but, it's a fiver.
Yeah, take this, go on.
Yeah, just give them a fiver.
It was the worst thing.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
It actually wasn't me handing over the fiver.
I'd given it to Romeo to giveto his teacher and I was like
give your teacher the fiver, andshe came back out of it after
school and gave it back to meshe was like it was cakes.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Do you know what that feels?
So like?
I feel judgment from the schoolsometimes.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Oh, bedtime I do.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Sometimes I feel the judgment and you know,
especially when we were openingthe shop and I didn't have any
time for my children, I thinkfor about a year, literally.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
I was missing bedtimes.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I was missing them waking up.
I wasn't seeing them likebarely at all.
Yeah, and you know they scoredemail about something.
I just be like look, I just I'mso busy right now.
I just I can't deal with Withthe space.
I just need you to just keepteaching my kids.
Okay, they're happy, they'refine.
Yeah, like I don't need to knowabout all this stuff.
(26:57):
Can you volunteer for this?
Can you do that?
And I can't, like I just can't.
Yeah, and I think there was aparent's evening where they were
like we know you're very busyoh, I get that all the time.
We know you're very busy and youknow, bear in mind, my kids
school is literally up the roadfrom the shop.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
We know you're very busy, but um you know if you
could get involved in someschool activities it really
boosts the boys esteem and Ithought oh, please like if I had
spare time, I'd rather justspend it with the boys it's the
fact that she was directing andme sean was sitting right next
to me but she was looking at mesaying it and I'm like I don't
even like children.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
I don't want to do stuff like that sean will, I'm
sure he will, and they're well,it'd be great if you could, and
I'm like no yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
And this is the thing You're busy You're busy running
a business and, like I said,about what have you had to
sacrifice?
There are certain people, mums,that would be like oh my God,
you're terrible for doing that?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Yeah, 100%, and I know maybe they might listen to
this, my thing any of my friendsand family.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
I was the least maternal person.
How I've ended up having allthe kids I have no idea, but I'm
the least maternal person in myfamily.
I've never been that interestedin having kids and I'm not
really that interested in otherpeople's kids no, I'm not either
like it doesn't come naturallyto some people.
They're just so natural aroundchildren and it just isn't me.
(28:23):
I can just about cope with myown kids.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
The baby stage, yeah maybe 10, 11, 12, because they
can have a proper conversationbut in the middle teenagers
awful, yeah, so come back whenyou're 21, yeah we'll go to the
party.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I'm just not.
All women are naturallymaternal.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Just like not all women are naturally maternal.
Just like not all men arenaturally paternal.
Like I just don't have it in meto be Sean's more maternal than
I am oh same with Paul.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yeah, yeah, definitely same with Paul so he
would have kids endless, hewouldn't he would keep going he
can't now, he can't now.
I don't want to sound like aswomen in business and I keep
referring to this because Ithink it's quite important.
Have you ever been put down,have you ever been
underestimated for being a womanand trying to run a business by
(29:11):
anybody?
How did it make you feel, anddo you agree with it?
Did you, or did that fuel yourfire, to be like no, do you know
what?
Fuck you, I can do this.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
You know what I get all the time when I've had, I've
quite often um had staff thatare older than me, like florists
or shopkeepers that are olderthan me, and someone will come
in to ask a question and they'llask my work experience student
because she's older than me andthey'll, they'll look at her and
I'll even then answer thequestion and they still look at
(29:39):
the older person, thinking thatthey must be in charge because
they're older, or they must bein charge.
Yeah, it's just like I'vealways had an issue with people
can't get their heads around.
Maybe not now I've aged a lot,but when I first opened the shop
maybe I look quite young.
I like to think you still lookyoung.
People like look past me,thinking young blonde female
(30:01):
can't be in charge, can'tpossibly own this business, that
I get that a lot and I go.
You know, ash, I go to quite alot.
Well, not so much now, but I goto some networking stuff and
it's all very corporate and it'squite male dominated finance
lawyers, solicitors, and I willget the oh, you're a florist,
(30:21):
what's a florist, young florist,doing here in in a room full of
trying to sell you flowers, youknow yeah and then I'm laughing
because 90 of them walk outwith my cards and phone me up
for flowers.
I think that's why I was there.
I was there because everyoneneeds a florist.
I might not be a big player inthe corporate world, you might
not find me in canary wharf, butI've got a space and I just
(30:42):
want to own it you do and you doyeah brilliant.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
What about you, danny ?
Because your industry isprobably very male dominated
very very, I would imagine a lotof the reps, a lot of the
fitters, a lot of every fitterI've come, I haven't.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
I'm yet to come across a female bathroom fitter,
to be fair um, that's a dailyreminder, isn't it, that there's
still something gender relatedin these industries and, yeah,
this, this industry is very maledominated and, um, yeah, I,
(31:22):
usually what I come across is um, a couple come in because they
want to start talking about, youknow, getting their bathrooms
done and we'll be talking.
And I know my shit, I do, and Idon't care if that sounds
big-headed, I don't care if thatsounds like I'm full of myself.
I know what I'm doing, I reallyreally do and I, if I don't
(31:42):
know what I'm doing, I will, Iwill find out.
But 98% of the time I'm doing,so, the amount of times I do get
men unintentionally, most ofthe time it will be the men that
will talk to me about drainageand are, but the waste is here
and and I'm like, yeah, that'sfine, I, I, you don't need to
(32:05):
tell me that, I know, I knowwhat's going on.
Um, I have to, really, Inormally have to find to make it
stop.
I will have to find a way ofpicking holes in what they're
telling me, because most of thetime they're not fitters,
they're not, they're not youknow, they don't know they're
diy enthusiasts and there's areason why they're in with you
(32:28):
to come to see me because theydon't know what they're doing,
and I have to sometimes I haveto subtly pick those little
holes apart to just prove myselfand insert my knowledge into
the bits that they aren't sayingbecause they don't know exists
just to make them be like, okay,she knows her shit, she does
know what she's doing.
(32:49):
Then okay, fair enough.
Um, you know, I will I have.
One of my biggest things is Iwill have men within the
industry that call me aggressiveand that really I can't explain
to you how much rage it fillsme with, because actually I'm
not aggressive, I'm justassertive and I know what I want
(33:13):
and I know how to get thingsdone.
That does not make me aggressivethat just makes you scared of
me because I'm a threat now andum, that's what, that's why,
back when we were talking aboutme being actually really
emotional, that's the front thatI have to.
I have to put that front becauseyou're in that male dominated
because I'm in that once I'mcomfortable with people and
(33:34):
somebody knows me and I knowthat they respect me for knowing
what I know Then the emotionalside of me comes out.
But you know, I do get calledaggressive a lot.
I'm like no, I'm not.
I'm not aggressive, I'massertive.
You just don't like that, youdon't like something like that.
yeah, it's something that makesyou feel uncomfortable Because,
(33:54):
whether you like that feeling ornot, it's because it is a
female, a younger female,telling you something that you
didn't actually know, or havingto correct you on something.
Yeah, and that's actually whatgrinds on on some men.
So that is something thatdefinitely is a thing, and I am
having to constantly fight thatbattle.
And I know other franchisees aswell.
(34:15):
There are a few femalefranchisees, actually, which
we're really proud of as a group, um, but some of the longest
standing franchisees are femaleowned and you know, someone was
saying the other day that sheconstantly has to assert herself
.
You know, because of the spaceyou're in, because you have to
fill your space, yeah, with Iknow what I'm doing, um, and
(34:38):
that is difficult.
I mean, when we're turning upto these awards, these award
ceremonies, you know like 900people strong and I can tell you
now, 85% of them are men, andthat can feel really yeah, but
how much more amazing is it thatyou took home one of those
awards in those statistics?
yeah, absolutely, and I'm veryproud of it, really really proud
(35:01):
of it, especially as the lastone we won was like a fully
judged.
You know, a judge comes aroundand actually you spoke to her,
didn't you?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
funnily enough.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Um, and yeah, it's.
It can be difficult sometimesand I have to remind myself
sometimes that not every man isthinking that as well.
Yeah, I have to remind myselfthat not every bloke is walking
in going.
Of course she's a girl, shedon't know what she's doing.
I have to remind myself of that, actually, that there are quite
a lot of men out there thatwon't even think about oh well,
(35:30):
you're a girl.
You don't know what you'retalking about.
There's loads of men that don'tthink like that, but it's the
ones that do that stick out thatyou think well yeah hold on,
you've got to be a bit morebullshit here.
Yeah, but I also started workingwithin the trade.
So you know I was in, I wasworking for like Dulux decorator
center, like trade um tradecounter as soon as I left school
(35:51):
and then I went into likeplumbing trade centers and
things like that.
So I'm quite used to being inmale dominated places which I
think is really helping to me asI've grown.
Now I think yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
I mean, it's important, don't matter what.
You're always gonna have peoplelook down on you, aren't you?
You're always gonna, no matterwhether you're a male or a
female you're always gonna havepeople.
I mean, look at some of these16 year olds making more money
than all three of us puttogether like it's crazy.
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