June 25, 2025 • 14 mins
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Have you ever sat through a wedding speech so painfully long that it made you reconsider your own wedding plans? That's exactly what happened when I witnessed a father of the groom deliver what might be the most uncomfortable wedding toast I've ever experienced.
The speech started with an ill-conceived toilet paper prop (yes, really) before launching into a methodical breakdown of all twelve points of the Boy Scout motto. For each attribute—trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent—he shared lengthy anecdotes about the groom. What could have been a touching five-minute speech ballooned into a fifteen-minute monologue that left guests squirming and groomsmen visibly embarrassed as they were repeatedly called out against their will. The experience was so impactful that I immediately went home and wrote "SPEECH TIME LIMITS" in bold Sharpie in my wedding planning binder.
This episode explores the delicate art of wedding speeches and the boundaries you might want to consider for your own celebration. Should you set time limits? Preview speeches beforehand? Designate someone to intervene if things go off the rails? When you hand someone a microphone on your wedding day, there's always risk involved—even with the most reliable people. I share how I implemented two-minute limits for parent speeches at my own wedding and arranged signals with my DJ to politely cut off anyone who went overtime. Whether you're planning your wedding or have been asked to give a speech, this cautionary tale offers valuable perspective on keeping toasts meaningful without testing your guests' patience.
Have you witnessed (or delivered) a wedding speech disaster? What would you have done in this situation? Share your stories and thoughts—we're listening, and maybe judging just a little.
Thank you for sharing the podcast with others who may enjoy it! Share your funny wedding stories with me at theweddingwherepodcast@gmail.com. Any links referenced are on linktree.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Wedding Ware, with officiating
by Amanda.
The Wedding Ware.
The father of the groom had thelongest speech.
Speech, welcome back to theWedding Wear.
(00:31):
This is Amanda, and you arecatching us in the midst of our
pseudo-series.
We Listen and we Don't Judge.
Well, for today I judged quitea bit.
In fact, it caused me to judgeso much that I changed some
plans for my own wedding.
So let's dive in.
The father of the groom had along speech, a very long speech,
(00:53):
and it got to a point ofuncomfortableness.
It was a few years back, smallwedding for a dear friend,
someone I'd known throughoutit's a college.
When I was working at thecollege I had just gotten
engaged.
I was maybe four, three, fourmonths engaged and was starting
(01:17):
to plan my own reception fullyin observation mode, like, okay,
what do I like, what don't Ilike, kind of building upon what
I had already said.
I always wanted from day oneand I knew just like how
meaningful it was to haveparents give speeches, because
they bring so much about who youare to the surface.
(01:42):
Your friends talk about youknow, high school and college,
and sometimes some dumb storiesabout the people you were dating
before your significant other.
Your parents bring in thosereally key moments from when you
were young, or even theirobservation of how you changed
as a person when you met yoursignificant other, when you
(02:04):
brought them home to meet themand how they've bonded in with
the family since then.
So definitely knew like, yeah,I want parents giving speeches.
My father's not one for talking, my mother makes up for that,
but I definitely wanted parentspeeches.
So when I was at the reception,I was really excited for the
(02:26):
speeches to come and, as we know, I don't normally attend
receptions.
See the wedding where I gave adrunken toast.
So I was already a little likeokay, be calm, figure this out,
is anything going to be asked ofyou?
Dinner was really great.
I was sitting with a bunch ofthe other vendors and it was
(02:50):
awesome.
Always make such good friendsat the vendor tables.
Then they did the speeches andthe maid of honor got a little
teary and the best man.
He kept it short and sweet andheartfelt and then it was the
father of the groom's turn.
It was the father of thegroom's turn Awesome.
So sometimes I see the parentscome up as one or you know each
respective.
You know the parents of thebride parents of the groom.
(03:15):
They'll each kind of stay intheir own camp, or one
representative from each.
I was informed that the fatherof the groom was going to be the
only one speaking.
Okay, maybe others did speechesthe other nights, or maybe they
didn't want speeches, or whoknows lots of reasons.
But cool, one more speech,that's it.
That's all we have, and then wecan dance a little bit before I
(03:38):
have to go home.
Strike one he opened up hisspeech by saying well, this idea
came to me while I was on thetoilet and then proceeded to
pull out a roll of toilet paperand like whip it out into the
audience and let it unravel andunroll quite quite a bit, and
(04:00):
there were points where I thinkhe just did for show.
But there's like Sharpiewritten along the toilet paper.
Yeah, okay, that's a dad joke.
That's not that funny, but okay, sounds good.
Strike two His speech wasthemed, I'll say themed
(04:24):
significantly around the BoyScout motto.
That's right, that's right.
Let's dig into your memorybanks there.
Do you know it?
I have it pulled up.
The scout law is.
A scout is trustworthy, loyal,helpful, friendly, courteous,
kind, obedient, cheerful,thrifty, brave, clean and
reverent.
(04:44):
That's 12.
So when he started with that,I'm like, oh okay, cheerful,
thrifty, brave, clean andreverent, that's 12.
So when he started with that,I'm like, oh okay, like that's
kind of cool.
I knew that the groom knew alot of his groomsmen from Scouts
They've been friends since kids.
Like that's cool that hebrought it up and mentioned it.
And then he went through eachand every single one of those
(05:05):
attributes describing how thegroom had been fitting to them
with not so brief anecdotes 12.
If each one was done in aminute, that's 12 minutes for
just that part.
Then dad had, you know, about aminute and a half at the top
and significant minute that'slike 15 minutes for one person's
(05:30):
speech.
We were there, thank goodness Ihad given up on trying to hold
my champagne flute to cheersbecause, oh goodness, and if
that wasn't bad enough, thenthere was strike three.
He began to drag in thegroomsmen, all of them very
embarrassed, uncomfortable, likeoh yeah, yep, that was me that
(05:53):
time referencing them in thestories, sometimes going a
little too personal in thestories, and they really weren't
having it.
And the groomsmen who tried tokind of ignore him got like, no,
didn't you hear me?
It was really hard to watch andto listen to.
(06:16):
And whatever had started out aslaughter with the toilet paper
gag, like oh, haha, that's funny.
And what had gone with that oh,that's kind of good sentimental
tying in the Scout mottodragged on and on and then it
just became uncomfortable and wewere not about that and we
(06:40):
listen and we don't judge.
I didn't judge, I was learning.
I was learning.
By the time I got home I hadalready in my head come up with
a plan, went straight into mybig wedding binder and made a
big note in Sharpies time limits, speech time limits and I
(07:02):
pivoted it within my own wedding.
Each of our parents was toldthat we really would like them
to speak.
We didn't just want onerepresentative and they were
each given two minutes of time.
They were told in advance, theywere prepared.
They were asked to prepare.
I can't say they prepared, theywere asked to prepare.
Can't say they prepared.
(07:22):
They were asked to prepare.
And the DJ and the staff onhand had been given the notice
that if they start going long orif you see me, you know, start
waving my arms and freaking outthat you know, just grab your
other mic and go.
Thanks, that was a great speech.
Great speech, because I was not.
(07:43):
I was not risking this and bythe time I got married the
following year, everything waspretty good.
My dad said the same thing thathe'd been saying for several
months in advance.
He knew what he was going tosay and he just kept practicing
it all throughout.
So anyone who'd been around mydad had already heard what he
(08:04):
was going to say before.
My mom did a short little sweetstory.
My in-laws did great, in truefashion.
My mother-in-law wrote hers outI think she was the only one
who had it printed and ready togo my father-in-law he winged it
Under two minutes.
He winged it.
He threw a little shade, butall in all they were good.
(08:27):
No one overstayed their welcomeand I was so, so thankful
because I really did after thatone wedding, and that really
long, not funny, not emotionally, you know, touching the soul
speech.
Yeah, no, thank you.
(08:48):
And there are certainly timeswhere a longer speech is called
for or needed.
If there's more people talkingand they're all sharing in the
limelight a little bit.
If there's really goodsentimental and emotional
stories, reflections, moments tobe had.
Yes, by no means cut it short,but all 12 of the Boy Scout
(09:11):
motto, please Ugh.
So Some things to think about,especially as you might approach
your own wedding day, is do youneed speeches?
Do you want speeches?
Are there some people you wantto have speak and others that
(09:32):
you only want them to speak?
If they're going to say X, yand Z story, then you don't need
them to speak.
Maybe you take that story thatyou really wanted shared and you
have it on your website orprint it somewhere else.
Let everybody read it at theirown accord, because when you
hand a person a mic, there is alittle bit of risk involved in
that.
(09:52):
Even with me as a professional,you hand me a mic and I've got
a script, but something happens,happens situational humor or
raindrops, like I could go offscript.
I could.
Haven't gone ever crazy before,but that is the risk you take
when you hand somebody amicrophone.
So would you rather control itand say nope, not risking that
(10:15):
something crazy is going to besad, or that my mother is going
to be a little drunk because shewas drunk at the ceremony
Different story and is going tosay something and it's actually
about my ex versus my husband.
So just always being mindful Ifyou need speeches or you
(10:40):
desperately want speechesbecause they are a really great
way to involve other members ofyour bridal party or your family
within the ceremony.
Give them something special tojust be mindful about who is
speaking and what they might say, and you can feel free to have
the conversations with them.
Of like, don't mention this.
But that sometimes backfiresbecause if you, if they weren't
(11:02):
even thinking about it and yousaid, of like, don't mention
this, but that sometimesbackfires because if you, if
they weren't even thinking aboutit and you said, oh hey, but
don't mention this.
Now it's the only thing they'rethinking about.
Maybe there's a space of hey,can I read over what you'd like
to say or can I get a copy of it?
That way, you're not givingaway your whole card of please,
don't bring this up, but you'vegot a chance to catch it
beforehand.
And if you are going to dospeeches or really anything
(11:27):
where somebody else has sometime, be prepared to cut
somebody off.
And if you are like, oh, it'smy wedding day, I don't want to
make that call, give the rightand the power over to your
coordinator, your venue person,your dj.
Let somebody else be the badguy if you need to, but do not
(11:49):
let it.
Go on, do not.
And I had to laugh.
I've.
I know most speeches for bestmen made of honors are all are
all going with, you know, theircell phones.
They whip out their cell phonesfor their speeches.
Heck, a lot of times groomswill whip out their cell phones
for their vows.
(12:09):
So certainly, pulling out thatlong-winded toilet paper
monologue, maybe he was hopingto go viral just because that is
such like a dad thing to do andan old school thing to do was
hoping to go viral just becausethat is such like a dad thing to
do and an old school thing todo.
But I don't know.
What do you think what?
What would you have donesitting there listening to that?
Mind you, the bar was closed.
(12:30):
You couldn't get up and getmore drinks because we're in the
middle of speeches, so Icouldn't even make it a little
like oh, sip for every, forevery grimace of a groomsman, or
a sip for every trait mentionedfrom the motto.
But what would you do?
And then, additionally, I meanBoy Scout motto is there a funny
(12:52):
story you would have told atyour wedding or at a friend's
wedding that fits to one of theelements, a friend's wedding,
that fits to one of the elementsof the Boy Scout motto I'm all
ears, drop me a line.
Next week we are going tocontinue with a little more of
(13:12):
the we listen and we don't judge.
No judgment, june.
I love that, and until nexttime.
This has been Amanda.
Thank you for listening to theWedding Wear with Officiating by
Amanda.
I hope you enjoyed today'sepisode and found some
inspiration or insight for yourown special day.
This podcast is hosted onBuzzsprout and can be found on
all major platforms.
If you haven't already, pleasesubscribe, like, comment and
(13:36):
share to help us reach even morelisteners who might laugh a
little at the Wedding Wear.
For the links referenced in theshow, visit linktree at
officiatingbyamanda.
You can also follow thebusiness on Facebook,
weddingwire and the Knot to stayup to date on everything going
on.
If you have a question you'dlike me to answer on the podcast
, just send an email totheweddingwearpodcast at
(13:58):
gmailcom, and if you're ready toinquire about officiating
services for your own big day,you can reach me at officiating
by Amanda at gmailcom.
Thank you so much for tuning inand until next time.
This has been Amanda.
Welcome to the Wedding Ware, with officiating
by Amanda.
The Wedding Ware.
The father of the groom had thelongest speech.
Speech, welcome back to theWedding Wear.
(00:31):
This is Amanda, and you arecatching us in the midst of our
pseudo-series.
We Listen and we Don't Judge.
Well, for today I judged quitea bit.
In fact, it caused me to judgeso much that I changed some
plans for my own wedding.
So let's dive in.
The father of the groom had along speech, a very long speech,
(00:53):
and it got to a point ofuncomfortableness.
It was a few years back, smallwedding for a dear friend,
someone I'd known throughoutit's a college.
When I was working at thecollege I had just gotten
engaged.
I was maybe four, three, fourmonths engaged and was starting
(01:17):
to plan my own reception fullyin observation mode, like, okay,
what do I like, what don't Ilike, kind of building upon what
I had already said.
I always wanted from day oneand I knew just like how
meaningful it was to haveparents give speeches, because
they bring so much about who youare to the surface.
(01:42):
Your friends talk about youknow, high school and college,
and sometimes some dumb storiesabout the people you were dating
before your significant other.
Your parents bring in thosereally key moments from when you
were young, or even theirobservation of how you changed
as a person when you met yoursignificant other, when you
(02:04):
brought them home to meet themand how they've bonded in with
the family since then.
So definitely knew like, yeah,I want parents giving speeches.
My father's not one for talking, my mother makes up for that,
but I definitely wanted parentspeeches.
So when I was at the reception,I was really excited for the
(02:26):
speeches to come and, as we know, I don't normally attend
receptions.
See the wedding where I gave adrunken toast.
So I was already a little likeokay, be calm, figure this out,
is anything going to be asked ofyou?
Dinner was really great.
I was sitting with a bunch ofthe other vendors and it was
(02:50):
awesome.
Always make such good friendsat the vendor tables.
Then they did the speeches andthe maid of honor got a little
teary and the best man.
He kept it short and sweet andheartfelt and then it was the
father of the groom's turn.
It was the father of thegroom's turn Awesome.
So sometimes I see the parentscome up as one or you know each
respective.
You know the parents of thebride parents of the groom.
(03:15):
They'll each kind of stay intheir own camp, or one
representative from each.
I was informed that the fatherof the groom was going to be the
only one speaking.
Okay, maybe others did speechesthe other nights, or maybe they
didn't want speeches, or whoknows lots of reasons.
But cool, one more speech,that's it.
That's all we have, and then wecan dance a little bit before I
(03:38):
have to go home.
Strike one he opened up hisspeech by saying well, this idea
came to me while I was on thetoilet and then proceeded to
pull out a roll of toilet paperand like whip it out into the
audience and let it unravel andunroll quite quite a bit, and
(04:00):
there were points where I thinkhe just did for show.
But there's like Sharpiewritten along the toilet paper.
Yeah, okay, that's a dad joke.
That's not that funny, but okay, sounds good.
Strike two His speech wasthemed, I'll say themed
(04:24):
significantly around the BoyScout motto.
That's right, that's right.
Let's dig into your memorybanks there.
Do you know it?
I have it pulled up.
The scout law is.
A scout is trustworthy, loyal,helpful, friendly, courteous,
kind, obedient, cheerful,thrifty, brave, clean and
reverent.
(04:44):
That's 12.
So when he started with that,I'm like, oh okay, cheerful,
thrifty, brave, clean andreverent, that's 12.
So when he started with that,I'm like, oh okay, like that's
kind of cool.
I knew that the groom knew alot of his groomsmen from Scouts
They've been friends since kids.
Like that's cool that hebrought it up and mentioned it.
And then he went through eachand every single one of those
(05:05):
attributes describing how thegroom had been fitting to them
with not so brief anecdotes 12.
If each one was done in aminute, that's 12 minutes for
just that part.
Then dad had, you know, about aminute and a half at the top
and significant minute that'slike 15 minutes for one person's
(05:30):
speech.
We were there, thank goodness Ihad given up on trying to hold
my champagne flute to cheersbecause, oh goodness, and if
that wasn't bad enough, thenthere was strike three.
He began to drag in thegroomsmen, all of them very
embarrassed, uncomfortable, likeoh yeah, yep, that was me that
(05:53):
time referencing them in thestories, sometimes going a
little too personal in thestories, and they really weren't
having it.
And the groomsmen who tried tokind of ignore him got like, no,
didn't you hear me?
It was really hard to watch andto listen to.
(06:16):
And whatever had started out aslaughter with the toilet paper
gag, like oh, haha, that's funny.
And what had gone with that oh,that's kind of good sentimental
tying in the Scout mottodragged on and on and then it
just became uncomfortable and wewere not about that and we
(06:40):
listen and we don't judge.
I didn't judge, I was learning.
I was learning.
By the time I got home I hadalready in my head come up with
a plan, went straight into mybig wedding binder and made a
big note in Sharpies time limits, speech time limits and I
(07:02):
pivoted it within my own wedding.
Each of our parents was toldthat we really would like them
to speak.
We didn't just want onerepresentative and they were
each given two minutes of time.
They were told in advance, theywere prepared.
They were asked to prepare.
I can't say they prepared, theywere asked to prepare.
Can't say they prepared.
(07:22):
They were asked to prepare.
And the DJ and the staff onhand had been given the notice
that if they start going long orif you see me, you know, start
waving my arms and freaking outthat you know, just grab your
other mic and go.
Thanks, that was a great speech.
Great speech, because I was not.
(07:43):
I was not risking this and bythe time I got married the
following year, everything waspretty good.
My dad said the same thing thathe'd been saying for several
months in advance.
He knew what he was going tosay and he just kept practicing
it all throughout.
So anyone who'd been around mydad had already heard what he
(08:04):
was going to say before.
My mom did a short little sweetstory.
My in-laws did great, in truefashion.
My mother-in-law wrote hers outI think she was the only one
who had it printed and ready togo my father-in-law he winged it
Under two minutes.
He winged it.
He threw a little shade, butall in all they were good.
(08:27):
No one overstayed their welcomeand I was so, so thankful
because I really did after thatone wedding, and that really
long, not funny, not emotionally, you know, touching the soul
speech.
Yeah, no, thank you.
(08:48):
And there are certainly timeswhere a longer speech is called
for or needed.
If there's more people talkingand they're all sharing in the
limelight a little bit.
If there's really goodsentimental and emotional
stories, reflections, moments tobe had.
Yes, by no means cut it short,but all 12 of the Boy Scout
(09:11):
motto, please Ugh.
So Some things to think about,especially as you might approach
your own wedding day, is do youneed speeches?
Do you want speeches?
Are there some people you wantto have speak and others that
(09:32):
you only want them to speak?
If they're going to say X, yand Z story, then you don't need
them to speak.
Maybe you take that story thatyou really wanted shared and you
have it on your website orprint it somewhere else.
Let everybody read it at theirown accord, because when you
hand a person a mic, there is alittle bit of risk involved in
that.
(09:52):
Even with me as a professional,you hand me a mic and I've got
a script, but something happens,happens situational humor or
raindrops, like I could go offscript.
I could.
Haven't gone ever crazy before,but that is the risk you take
when you hand somebody amicrophone.
So would you rather control itand say nope, not risking that
(10:15):
something crazy is going to besad, or that my mother is going
to be a little drunk because shewas drunk at the ceremony
Different story and is going tosay something and it's actually
about my ex versus my husband.
So just always being mindful Ifyou need speeches or you
(10:40):
desperately want speechesbecause they are a really great
way to involve other members ofyour bridal party or your family
within the ceremony.
Give them something special tojust be mindful about who is
speaking and what they might say, and you can feel free to have
the conversations with them.
Of like, don't mention this.
But that sometimes backfiresbecause if you, if they weren't
(11:02):
even thinking about it and yousaid, of like, don't mention
this, but that sometimesbackfires because if you, if
they weren't even thinking aboutit and you said, oh hey, but
don't mention this.
Now it's the only thing they'rethinking about.
Maybe there's a space of hey,can I read over what you'd like
to say or can I get a copy of it?
That way, you're not givingaway your whole card of please,
don't bring this up, but you'vegot a chance to catch it
beforehand.
And if you are going to dospeeches or really anything
(11:27):
where somebody else has sometime, be prepared to cut
somebody off.
And if you are like, oh, it'smy wedding day, I don't want to
make that call, give the rightand the power over to your
coordinator, your venue person,your dj.
Let somebody else be the badguy if you need to, but do not
(11:49):
let it.
Go on, do not.
And I had to laugh.
I've.
I know most speeches for bestmen made of honors are all are
all going with, you know, theircell phones.
They whip out their cell phonesfor their speeches.
Heck, a lot of times groomswill whip out their cell phones
for their vows.
(12:09):
So certainly, pulling out thatlong-winded toilet paper
monologue, maybe he was hopingto go viral just because that is
such like a dad thing to do andan old school thing to do was
hoping to go viral just becausethat is such like a dad thing to
do and an old school thing todo.
But I don't know.
What do you think what?
What would you have donesitting there listening to that?
Mind you, the bar was closed.
(12:30):
You couldn't get up and getmore drinks because we're in the
middle of speeches, so Icouldn't even make it a little
like oh, sip for every, forevery grimace of a groomsman, or
a sip for every trait mentionedfrom the motto.
But what would you do?
And then, additionally, I meanBoy Scout motto is there a funny
(12:52):
story you would have told atyour wedding or at a friend's
wedding that fits to one of theelements, a friend's wedding,
that fits to one of the elementsof the Boy Scout motto I'm all
ears, drop me a line.
Next week we are going tocontinue with a little more of
(13:12):
the we listen and we don't judge.
No judgment, june.
I love that, and until nexttime.
This has been Amanda.
Thank you for listening to theWedding Wear with Officiating by
Amanda.
I hope you enjoyed today'sepisode and found some
inspiration or insight for yourown special day.
This podcast is hosted onBuzzsprout and can be found on
all major platforms.
If you haven't already, pleasesubscribe, like, comment and
(13:36):
share to help us reach even morelisteners who might laugh a
little at the Wedding Wear.
For the links referenced in theshow, visit linktree at
officiatingbyamanda.
You can also follow thebusiness on Facebook,
weddingwire and the Knot to stayup to date on everything going
on.
If you have a question you'dlike me to answer on the podcast
, just send an email totheweddingwearpodcast at
(13:58):
gmailcom, and if you're ready toinquire about officiating
services for your own big day,you can reach me at officiating
by Amanda at gmailcom.
Thank you so much for tuning inand until next time.
This has been Amanda.
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