April 14, 2025 • 41 mins
We dive into Reddit confessions and share our own embarrassing secrets about lies that spiraled out of control, from faking allergies to epic prank wars with unexpected consequences.
• Reading a Reddit confession about someone faking a peanut allergy for six years while secretly eating peanut butter at work
• One host's dad faked a nut allergy for years and convinced her she was allergic too
• Debating whether to come clean about long-term lies or find a graceful exit strategy
• Personal confession about a prank call to a new boyfriend and the ongoing cover-up
• Story of a college prank war involving laxative cookies, ramen noodles in bathroom fixtures, and car vandalism
• Parents who didn't tell their daughter she was lactose intolerant her entire childhood
• Discussion about the ethics of drugging people's food—with laxatives versus marijuana
• Healthcare experiences and the inadequate pain management for women after childbirth
• Tip: bring your own Tylenol and ibuprofen to the hospital to avoid $90 per pill charges
Bring your own pain relievers to the hospital when you have kids! They will charge you up to $90 per pill, and you can negotiate down to maybe $50 per pill. Just bring Tylenol, ibuprofen, and stool softener with you.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, so today we're going to do, we're going
to read some stories from theconfessions or Reddit thread
that Lolly found.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
So Rissa found I go by many names, many names.
Okay, here's a confession.
I've been faking an allergy foryears and now it's gone way too
far.
(00:32):
That's how it starts.
My dad has done that.
No way.
Maybe this is your dad.
It might be All right all right.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
So chris's dad said um, I hope it's like a super
feminine thing, because it'sgonna make this funnier, since I
didn't elaborate.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Okay, this started as a dumb excuse and now I'm in
too deep.
Years ago I went on a date witha girl who was obsessed with
peanut butter.
She kept pushing me to try herpeanut butter smoothie, even
after I said I wasn't in themood.
Instead of just saying no, Iblurted out oh, I can't, I'm
allergic.
Big mistake.
(01:18):
She was super concerned, askeda million questions and I
figured whatever, I'd never seeher again.
But then she introduced me toher friend group and they all
knew about my allergy.
At that point, correcting itfelt too awkward.
Fast forward six years.
He married her.
No, that's what I was expectingto read too, but I'm still
(01:44):
friends with these people.
My allergy is a known fact.
They warn restaurants for me.
They check ingredients.
One of them even threw out apeanut butter cake someone
brought to a party, just to besafe.
The worst part I love peanutbutter.
I eat it in secret.
(02:06):
I have a stash at work.
Once my best friend said man,it sucks, not knowing what a
Reese's tastes like, and I justnodded solemnly that's his best
friend.
How do you not confide in yourbest friend?
I'm like hey, actually thisisn't true.
First, six years, he needs tochange his name and move Start
(02:28):
fresh dude.
Now my girlfriend, who alsobelieves I'm allergic, wants us
to move in together and she'ssuper cautious about food.
I'm terrified she'll find mypeanut butter stash and think
I've been lying to her.
You have which I have for years.
She'll find my peanut butterstash and think I've been lying
to her.
You have which I have for years.
(02:48):
I have no idea how to get outof this.
Do I fake a miracle recovery, amedical misdiagnosis, or do I
just keep the lie going forever?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
okay, I actually haven't the answer to this
because I saw someone doing thison tiktok but I think how, I
did not know this.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Was that common not?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
this specifically.
But this person actually had anallergy I think it was to
carrots or something and theydecided to like, have an itty
bitty piece every day and justkind of grow in portions.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Oh yeah, like it's like an exposure therapy yeah
yeah, I've heard of people doingthat.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
I also saw someone saying that I think they got
laid off and they couldn'tafford.
They either couldn't affordhealth care or, like they, their
health insurance was denyingtheir claims for this medication
they needed for allergies, andso they were using a credit card
on their windshield to grab,like the poland or whatever I
(03:52):
don't know.
You have options it was cokethe whole time, it might have
been but don't people like goout of allergies all the time
though?
is that like a thing?
Yeah, I think it.
I think it depends on how.
It depends on how the he builtthis lie, because if you have an
allergy that like get, I don'tknow, like gives you rashes or
(04:17):
something, it depends on how badyour allergy is.
Like, my dad truly is deathlyallergic to seafood like
lobsters and stuff.
He can't even go near it.
If he's like near it, he'll getrashes.
If he eats it, he'll like histhroat will close up.
He needs like I don't think hecarries around an EpiPen or
anything, but he should.
He has, like a necklace orwhatever that says that he's
(04:39):
allergic to that and anothermedication.
Yeah, he has lied for years,though, about being allergic to
nuts because he doesn't like he,just doesn't like him.
It started when we were young.
There was like this at outbackthere was this um dessert.
I don't even know if they hadit here, but they had it in
brazil called oblivion.
It was actually really good um,never heard of her.
(05:04):
I don't really know what was init.
There were like these pieces offruit or something and like a
drizzle of chocolate, all thesedifferent things.
It was really, really yummy,but it came with nuts so he
didn't like him with that, so hewould always ask for it without
it, um, but then sometimes theywould forget.
So he just started saying hewas allergic to it and it just
(05:24):
spread, it was a thing.
And then he told me that I wasallergic to it, so I thought I
was and he's just.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
His hatred for nuts is so bad he he gaslit his own
daughter enough, so that, atlike, I think I was 16, I don't
know.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
But, um, I was at school and one of my friends
called my mom so my mom wouldbring a cake, so they could do
like a surprise thing for me atthe cafeteria, which was really
nice.
Um, I think my friend calledand ordered the cake and my mom
just picked it up and brought itbecause we couldn't I don't
know, they wouldn't let us leavebecause we're I don't know, in
(06:08):
Brazil, if you're under 18, youcan't leave the school and you
can't drive, so it doesn'treally matter so you need your
parents anyway.
So yeah, my mom brought the caketo the school, my friend got it
together, put in the cafeteria,brought some people, had
someone come and get me to getsomething from the cafeteria.
Everyone was there who saidhappy birthday.
It was really nice.
(06:28):
And then we ate the cake and Iate it and I noticed it was like
a little crunchy and differentpieces, but it was like a
chocolate cake whateverafterwards my friend we were
talking or I can't remember howI think she looked at the label
or something and she's like thisis nuts, you're nuts.
And I'm like so I was likefreaking out and I thought I was
(06:50):
having like symptoms orsomething.
I'm like, oh my gosh, my tonguefeels numb, like it was this
whole thing.
And then I came home and I toldmy mom and she's like oh my
gosh, but you're feeling fine,yeah.
And then I'm talking to my dadand he's like you're not
allergic to nuts.
And I'm like what?
And he's like, yeah, and I waslike, but you are.
(07:11):
And he said that I was.
And he's like I'm not allergicto nuts.
And I'm like what is happening?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
My whole world is falling apart.
I'm like who am I?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
What is going on?
I had one identity no, that wasit.
And like everyone in my lifeknew that I was allergic to nuts
I mean not in my life, but likeat school, because we ate like
three meals together, yeah.
And so, like everyone, actuallyI was lying.
Yeah, I don't even know.
I mean, at least in my case,that was like my dad lied to me.
You're the victim I'm finemaybe he can say someone lied to
him.
I don't know.
He's like actually exposuretherapy or say someone lied on
(07:55):
your behalf and I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yeah, or like try some peanut butter and just be
like, oh my gosh, I'm cured orsay like you thought it was
peanut butter, but it wasanother kind of nut that you're
allergic to well, but the onethat he doesn't like live a
different life like you're just,yeah, replacing it, but yeah,
(08:19):
maybe that I guess what, likeeverybody said, was just like
claim misdiagnosis, which Iguess yeah, and would you ever
suggest that he just comes clean, the like hey, I just told a
lie and I took it too far.
No, you've dug yourself toodeep because listen and maybe
this is true.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Maybe you should warn your friends.
But if you're lying aboutanything for this long, it looks
real bad it does here.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Here's, if you ever I'm all about like I, I love the
truth.
I think it's the best policynot here, but you gotta play
your cards, right?
You know, when you've gone thisfar here, here's what I suggest
you.
You, like you slowly come outof it, right?
You say it was a misdiagnosisor whatever.
(09:08):
Like you're cured and you don'thave this allergy anymore.
You kind of build on the liebut kind of backtracking on it,
right, so now you don't havethis peanut allergy anymore.
Give it another six years andthen when you feel like
everybody can laugh about it,you're like, yeah, well, people
are still talking about it.
(09:29):
I guess they just be like, yeah, I am, I was never allergic,
haha, lol.
Or like, if it ever comes uplike what is?
Like you're playing one ofthose games.
That's like what is a lie thatyou've told for too long?
You know, yeah, wait for like atruth or dare moment, which
(09:49):
hopefully you're not playing ifyou're like in your 30s, but I'm
just kidding you can play that.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I forgot how old we are.
I'm like I still play not inyour 30s.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
No, no, no.
I have three more years.
Don't take them from me oh mygosh.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Um, it's hilarious, though that's a.
I mean you don't have to tellthe truth, I guess, because you
probably wouldn't have.
You ever lied about anythinglike that for like or anything
that lasted years um, I don'tthink so.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I don't think I've ever.
There is like, when I think oflike a, there is a one lie that
I'm ashamed of, that I've, thatI've told somebody very close to
me and but it was like it's notanything that like affects my
life.
Okay, fine, I'll tell you itwas my arm.
(10:48):
Um, love it.
Okay, so we'll just blockwhoever it is well, it's my
boyfriend and I don't let himlisten to this podcast anyway.
So listen to me.
Well, it's my boyfriend and Idon't let him listen to this
(11:08):
podcast anyway.
So okay, um, they're like, it'snothing that really affects our
relationship in any way, but itwas like one of the first weeks
, like it was very early on inour and when we started going
out on dates and I I'm soembarrassed one of my friends,
(11:28):
prank, called him and it justlike that prank call kind of
like went too far and it was soyou just scammed him out of
thousands of dollars.
He doesn't know it's me.
He thinks it was some prince ofegypt or something.
It's brad pitt, which, for hisimage, I don't think it makes it
(11:55):
any better.
Um no, so he, my friend prank,called him and I like I was
there with her and she like, um,it was one of those things that
you don't really think throughit.
But like halfway through you'relike why are we even doing this
?
But like we had dug ourselvesinto such a deep hole at that
(12:17):
point that we're like I don'tknow how to like get out of this
.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I used to think of Vikram and friends, the fake
boyfriend that Ross comes upwith that Phoebe had, she never
had a long-term relationship.
Yeah, sorry, anyway.
No, yeah, I really want to know.
I just keep thinking so.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
So he, um, so he, like after that day, like a few
days after that, I had mentionedthat me and that friend had had
a sleepover, yeah, and he kindof connected the dots.
Which props to him, because Idid not think he would connect
anything.
But he's actually really smart.
I don't know what, yeah anyway,I feel like I had to say that,
(13:07):
but he is anyway.
But then he's like, he's likeum, I have to ask you something.
And I was like, oh, I was likeplease be anything else.
But then he was like was it youdid?
Were you the one that called methat night?
And I was like what, what areyou talking about?
Completely lied my way out ofthat.
(13:29):
He was just like no, like you,like you, like I, he's.
I kind of made him feel badbecause I was like why would you
think that, like, I trust you,and he's just like no, yeah,
like I, I, some girls like Ifeel like might do something
like that, but no, like if itwasn't you, okay, that's like,
(13:51):
he was super sweet about it.
And then what did you say inthe prank call?
It was just it was um.
So my friend pretended to besomebody that he met at a party
and just like he, on the phone,he was like I, I don't know who
you are, yeah.
And then, and she was like no,like we talked about this and
(14:13):
that and all this stuff.
And he was just like I don't, Idon't know what you're talking
about.
And she just kept going with itand he's, and so like to the
point of him being like, oh,yeah, okay, like I, really I
don't remember this, but okay,yeah.
And and she was just like well,do you want to come and hang out
(14:34):
?
Like did this whole thing?
And he's just like, um, notlike yeah, sure, like I'll come
hang out, uh, like I remind meyour name, like I don't remember
any of this anyway, yeah, so sowhen he was asking me, he was
just, was, just like I did youdo this to see, like if I would
(14:57):
go out with somebody else, which, to be fair, that was like
never my intention, it was justa prank call that went wrong.
Like so I wasn't, she wassupposed to be like a pizza
delivery driver, or something.
Yeah, it was just like thisthing that just got way out of
hand, so like I never had any ofthose intentions and and I knew
how like, if I admitted to it,it would have sounded.
(15:18):
I mean I'm embarrassed to evenadmit it now that I was a part
of that and I'm way too old forthat talking.
No, I wasn't but I was there,that's fine anyway.
So I just completely lied aboutit and I was like I would never
do that and he believed me andwe are still dating.
(15:41):
So that's good.
Sometimes Should we prank, callhim now.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Do the same thing If he brings it up.
If he ever finds out, just sayat least I didn't scam you out
of a bunch of money there you go.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
This could have been so much, would have been so much
worse, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that was just like him.
I feel like that was like theworst thing I've ever done in a
relationship.
I think you're really guilty it.
I'm like, it's embarrassing andI'm so ashamed.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
I feel like it's totally understandable, though.
Because, like you, were kind ofembarrassed about it, you
didn't want to say that Well,it's not understandable that I
did it in the first place?
Yeah, but you didn't do it.
Your friend did yeah, but Ididn't stop her.
Yeah, but I mean, I know Ididn't stop her, yeah, but
Anyway that's a good one.
(16:38):
I really hope he doesn't hearthis.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
He won't, he's not allowed to, it's fine.
Yeah, it's true.
And if he does, then I'll bedisappointed because I told him
he can't hear.
I'll just turn it around on himReverse, yeah, uno.
Reverse.
Like what were you doinglistening to the podcast?
I know.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
A hundred percent.
I'm trying to think if I haveone, I have one.
I'm trying to think, if I havea relationship, one, I don't
think I do.
I need to start keeping moresecrets or keep lies or
something, get things a littlespicy.
But I do have one lie that I Idon't know this is.
(17:18):
No one's going to listen tothis.
It's fine, it's not that bad,but okay.
We it's a good thing when we canrely on the fact nobody listens
to this.
It's fine.
It's fine, and if anyone does,they're our friends and they
already like us, so they'll getover it.
(17:39):
It's fine anyway.
Um, I don't even know how totell this.
I'm gonna sound like such anasshole.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Um at least better than the pathetic girl who
pranked a boy when she's like 26okay, okay, I didn't know, so I
think that makes it okay umanyway, whatever sense card, we
love it I'm not pleading um,anyway.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Okay, so we started a prank war with some guys in our
apartment complex, dorm,whatever, in college, anyway.
So we had these friends.
I can't remember how it started.
I think they pranked myroommate first and they put like
(18:29):
baby oil and like Oreos andSram Wrap on her car or
something.
I think that's how it started,not sure.
Anyway, so they hit her ormaybe we got them first.
At some point we put tampons intheir like suits, so whenever
they were at church they wouldthink they have like pens, but
they were tampons, I don't knowWhatever.
And then, but whatever, itescalated to some point they
(18:50):
pranked her car, would thinkthey have like pens, but they
were tampons, I don't knowwhatever.
And then, but whatever, itescalated to some point they
pranked her car.
So then we decided to prankthem.
So we bought like diapers andput nutella on them and like,
put it all over their car.
And then we grabbed kool-aidand tampons and we like dyed
(19:11):
them red and put it all over thecar and I think we wrote vagina
on their car I don't know mighthave happened anyway.
Okay, so we hit them and I I hada crush on this guy who was our
friend but, like everyone hadhad a thing with him, he was a.
(19:31):
He was like not a hoe, but hewas kind of, you know, a little
player, yeah, and he was like afive or six.
I don't know he, he was nicethough anyway, whatever so.
I was like friends with him.
We would kind of like flirtsometimes and I was kind of into
it and anyway.
So I can't remember how it gotto this point, but he was saying
(19:54):
that he wanted to prank myroommates but he would spare me.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
He was trying to build a little alliance here
yeah, like a little secret.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
It was kind of flirty so I was like, okay, I hope I'm
right about this.
It's kind of bad.
I also didn't know what he wasgonna do okay, I'm so curious
it's like borderline illegal.
But I didn't do it anyway, itwasn't me, whatever.
So we were like texting you,whatever.
(20:24):
And he's like yeah, like wouldyou help me?
And I was like as long as it'snot anything bad, and he's like
okay, but like whatever.
It was like as long as it's notanything bad and he's like okay
, but like whatever.
It was like this flirty thing,whatever.
Anyway, so we, he invites us tohis house one night and it's
like it's like his parents'house.
They had like a really nicehouse and, um, I can't remember
(20:48):
I think we were going to watch amovie or I can't remember what
we were gonna do there, but wewent to his place.
As soon as we get there, likehe pulls me aside and it was
kind of like this flirty thing.
But he pulls me aside and he'slike just follow my lead, don't
eat the cookies.
And I was like what?
(21:09):
And he's like just like followmy lead.
And I'm like okay, and I wasjust so like confused.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Oh my gosh yeah it's bad he felt laxatives in the
cookie.
Yeah, his mom did I know.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
So we hang out and then he brings like cookies
around and he offers me some andhe just looks at me and I'm
like I'm okay, and he passesthem around and I thought they
were just gonna taste bad orsomething.
And I saw everyone eating them.
Some of them were eating a lotof them and I was like weird.
And then he comes back aroundagain with more cookies, but
(21:48):
then this time he like winks atme and he like nods, and so I
like go to take one, and he's,and so I take one and I eat a
cookie and it tasted fine andwhatever.
I didn't think much of it.
And then we hang out like formost of the night and then,
after we're done, he they allkind of decided they want to go
(22:08):
to McDonald's.
And I'm like, okay, cool, meetyou guys there.
We were driving separate cars,there were a lot of us.
So, um, as I'm leaving orwhatever, he texts me and he
says, hey, we're gonna be latefor McDonald's, but just stall
for us.
And I'm like what are you doing?
And he's like he like didn'ttell me.
He was basically like I didn'tjust need you to stall for a
(22:31):
little bit, we, we need to go dosomething, but they're going to
get mad at us if we're late,but just tell them that I'm
saying that I'm coming and I'mlike, okay, whatever we go to
the McDonald's, we're waitingfor them, they're taking forever
.
We finally just eat and then Ican't remember if they ever
showed up or not.
Now that, now that I thinkabout it, they either did or
(22:54):
didn't, and then we leftmcdonald's and went home.
We get home, we turn on thelights and then the lights don't
come on and we're like that'sweird and did I tell you this no
, but did they do somethingwhere, like you, couldn't use
the toilet?
okay, that is evil I just madethe connection that that's why,
anyway, whatever we get there,we're all laying on, like in the
(23:16):
living room, only a couplelights are turning on.
We don't?
We like don't think much of it,we're like we need to change
the light bulbs or something.
One of our roommates goes tothe bathroom and she like
flushes, does the whole thing,and then I can't remember
exactly how we realized this.
I think we were going to ourrooms and like there weren't.
This is kind of hard to explainit, but we like had two
bathrooms.
There wasn't a door to thefirst room that had just had the
(23:40):
sinks, there was just a door tolike where the toilet and the
bath was Um, and so I walkedpast and I look at the first
bathroom sinks and they're fullto the top and there's something
in there and I'm like what ishappening?
So I grab, like, the flashlighton my phone because the lights
aren't working and there's ramennoodles in the sinks cooking.
(24:02):
There's like warm water to thetop and there's just like soggy
noodles and I'm like what theheck?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
this is is like criminal, like mastermind I know
Scary.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I go into the bathroom my roommate didn't
notice this when she went to thebathroom, but I guess she
didn't wash her hands becauseshe didn't notice.
But I go into the bathroom andthere's ramen noodles in the
toilet there's ramen, thebathtub is full and there's
ramen noodles there.
And I'm like bathtub is fulland there's ramen noodles there
(24:36):
and I'm like what the hell?
And so I go into the kitchen tograb some like garbage bags or
something so we can scoop it out, because, like you can't drain
it and the sink is full of waterand has ramen noodles cooking
there.
And then there's this, theselike packets of like shrimp
flavored whatever for thenoodles.
Some of it is in the sinks andin the bath and wherever, some
of it is like kind of on thefloor and anyway, so yeah.
(25:01):
So then we realized that, yeah,they pranked us, they took our
light bulb so we couldn't see.
And then we ended up findingthem in the closet, in like a
bin or something later and theywere cooking ramen noodles
everywhere.
And then, anyway, I guess tofinish the night, we grabbed
garbage bags, we filled it upwith the ramen noodles and all
the things.
We cleaned it out.
(25:21):
Like I got pranked there too,because it was my bathroom too
in my apartment, so I had tohelp clean and do all the things
, and you helped with that Iknow, I didn't know that's what
they were gonna do um, and I hadforgotten about the cookies at
this point completely, because Iwas like that was probably not
the prank.
He probably wanted me to thinkthat that was the prank.
(25:43):
So then they could do this.
Whatever we filled the tub orthe bags with the ramen noodles,
we take him to the parking lotand we're gonna take it to like
the dumpster.
But then we were like, screwhim, we're gonna find his car,
his little, precious little babycar, and we're gonna cover it
in this shiz, because screw him.
And so we waited, we were hiding, so he moved his car from where
(26:06):
he would normally park to likethe end of the parking lot.
So we were hiding and then wesaw him pull in park in a
different spot.
We waited for him to leave.
We go over there, cover his carin like all the ramen noodles,
we grab the rest of the packetsand we're just like popping them
open and putting it everywhere.
Um, anyway, so I think thatnight later, that night or that
(26:30):
next morning, he realized whatwe did and he was pissed because
he was like this little richkid and like he, it was his car
and it was a nice car, I don'tremember what kind of car.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
It was After what he just did.
I know he has like no room tobe mad.
It gets worse.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
So I go to school the next day and as I'm, I think I
was going to class or I wascoming back from class.
I have like the roommate groupchat and everyone is like does
anyone else have explosivediarrhea?
(27:08):
And one of those last ones tooka long time to kick in, but they
did.
They did.
I mean, I was fine because Iguess mine didn't have anything,
anything.
And then I lied and I said thatI did also have diarrhea
because I, like you know, I wasthe only one and also, it's like
it, I took it too faraccidentally, because I didn't
know he was gonna do that Ithought they were gonna I
thought he had put liketoothpaste on the thing and they
would spit it out in the moment.
(27:29):
I don't know he was gonna putlaxatives in there and I didn't
know he was gonna prank myapartment because he said it
wasn't gonna affect me anywaywhatever.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
So you never forget the first time a man lies to you
you never do.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah, anyway, I had a couple of roommates that worked
at the same boutique at themall and they didn't have the
same shift.
But one of them was at theshift and she's like I'm working
alone, I can't close, I'm goingto shit my pants and so the
other one had to come in.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
They had to keep taking turns, that's nice that
they at least had like she hadsomebody to call.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I know Some of the other roommates did not.
They just had to go to work andthey had to go to work and they
had the.
They were just anyway.
So to this day I I still hangout with the girls and I don't
hang out with the guy anymore.
I haven't like talked to him inyears.
We're not friends, we haven'tbeen friends in a long time.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
That is like not on you at all, though okay, thank
you.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
You have no idea.
I feel so bad about it becauseit was like because I, I was
like flirting and I should havejust said like no, and because
guilty by association, myfriends you know and I was,
because I was kind of like it'sgonna be like a silly little
prank or whatever and it's gonnabe like this flirty thing and
like yeah, I don't know, I don'tknow and yeah, but his mom was
(28:51):
it on it later I found out.
I thought he made the cookies,his mom I don't know, I don't
know, and yeah, but his mom wasit on it.
Later I found out I thought hemade the cookies, his mom I
don't know, and that was beforeshe found out what we did to her
son's car.
So I thought we were gonnaescalate and then we kind of
stopped there because someonewas gonna well, he gets his
deviousness from somebody.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
yeah, his, his lack of limit from somebody.
I know.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Okay, but what-?
Also, imagine that woman is amother-in-law.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I'm glad it didn't work out, conspiring with her
son.
Imagine Okay, what do you thinkwould be worse?
Somebody giving you somethingwith laxatives that you're not
aware of?
Or like with weed?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
oh, depends on what I have going on the next day.
Same answer for both things.
I do want to say one thing,though this is unrelated um, my
dad lied to me about beingallergic to nuts, right, uh-huh,
but he forgot to tell me thatI'm lactose intolerant did I
(30:00):
tell you that?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
did he know?
Speaker 1 (30:02):
he knew and he didn't tell you, they had to give me
like goat milk when I was youngbecause it was so bad, and then
at some point they like forgot,and so I just never really.
Sometimes they would make medrink milk, um, like in the
morning and stuff, and I justnever.
I just thought I didn't like it, um, and I thought I didn't
(30:22):
like ice cream and all thesedifferent things, because, and I
always felt kind of sick after.
And then, like recently, I wastalking to a friend and she's
like oh, like, why don't youtake like these lactates or
whatever that probably will help?
And so I did, and then I wasable to eat things and feel okay
later.
And so I was talking to myparents about it and I'm like,
yeah, I started taking thisthing.
(30:43):
I think I might be lactoseintolerant.
And they were like, oh yeah,you are.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
They're like we've known this whole time, god, like
no one told me.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
So it's just like this ongoing joke for them years
ago, the whole like puttinglaxatives in my food.
If it had been like milk, Iwouldn't have known, it would
have been the same experience.
But yeah, I don't know.
(31:13):
I feel like I've never doneweed, so that maybe would be
interesting, and it's supposedto help you sleep or something
too.
So like, if it, I'm okay withthat, but laxatives I don't know
.
It depends on how much of itand whether I'm constipated at
the moment or not, because if Iam, thank you.
If I'm not, then like screw you.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah, no, I honestly like I feel like I mean, we grew
up thinking that like weed wasas bad as like killing somebody,
right, but A lot of things wereas bad as that.
And not that I'm like a hugelike advocate of weed at all,
(31:56):
but when it comes to like eitherbeing like drugged with
laxatives or with weed, I Idon't know which one's worse.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yeah, as long as like I don't either way.
Again, same answer for both, aslong as I don't have to drive
anywhere, because driving whenyou got a heavy butthole
situation sucks it does, and ifyou're on weed like, that's just
you can't yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
(32:27):
So if you know that you'regonna be home, weed a hundred
percent yeah, right, like Ithink I would take weed over
laxatives yeah, I mean, I don'tthink I've been like relaxed a
single day of my life.
Maybe I need weight.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
I feel like I have like too much of a moral compass
for this, but I've alwaysthought it'd be so like my.
It'd be so interesting to me todo that to my parents.
Just see how that goes.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Like I would never, but I know, make some brownies
and it is funny, though, because, like growing up like super
conservative, like our parentsdon't drink, they don't do drugs
so like.
I wonder what that's likehaving parents who do drink
sometimes and like their own tea, that would come up.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, I've, I've my oldest brother has said that so
many times.
He's like I could just like itwould be so fun if, like, our
whole family just sat back andcracked open a bottle of wine
and just got like to talkingabout real stuff.
(33:40):
And I was like I don't know ifwe want that, we're so happy
like let's, let's all do the potso hard to pretend we're happy?
Speaker 1 (33:50):
yeah, it's hard enough setting boundaries with
my parents like let's, let'slike, not rock the boat too much
let's keep things surface level, please.
That's hilarious.
I mean, yeah, that would befunny just to see how they do on
that yeah but you just knowthat their like existential
(34:13):
crisis would just be too intense.
Oh, you could never tell them.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Oh, yeah, ever yeah I don't know what happened.
I know, oh they was.
They probably came like that.
You like pretend you read.
Read on the like the label,like oh my gosh, these are pot
brownies.
We didn't even know.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
I saw this thing um, I don't even know fully what
they are, josh, just he didn'tget the weight ones, let me
clarify at costco.
But they're like these littlecone thingies.
I think they called mudsomething, I don't know but I
saw someone on tiktok sayingthat they bought something like
that and they thought it wasjust which.
I don't even know how you getthis confused, because you can't
(34:52):
just buy weed anywhere, butthey bought this thing.
It depends on where you're atoh, I guess that's true.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Like colorado, I don't actually.
I don't know how the laws are,but I would imagine that you
would know.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
They probably have to make it very clear, right.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Wait, I actually know exactly what you're talking
about.
There are these like littlecones.
I've seen advertisements forthis.
There are these like littlecones that are like infused,
like edible little cones orwhatever, and I saw this little
person.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
This little person.
You can't say that.
That is not what I was tryingto say.
I saw that this person hadthese little things and, um,
they had a bunch of them andthey didn't know that it was
(35:49):
weed or they didn't know howmuch weed was in it, and their
eyes were like like red I thinkit was an ad that you didn't
realize it was an ad oh, it gotme.
I was like joshua didn to buythese things at costco and I'm
like, well, we should doublecheck.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I mean, I think that I've seen those on tiktok.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
They're like um, usually like paid promotions and
stuff, um, but yeah, they likelook like these little cone
things and yeah could be good, Idon't know, I've never done it
but, honestly, I was talking toa friend about it and she said
that there's these um gummies orwhatever um that you can take
(36:33):
for like chronic pain and things.
And ever since having kids, Iget like sciatica pains pretty
bad, yeah, and it depends on,like, what I've been doing and
things.
But if I'm like being moreactive or even if I'm not,
sometimes they'll pull like onone side or the other at night,
and so maybe that would be nice.
I don't know, um, but I don'tknow if I can take them.
(36:54):
Actually, is there likephysical therapy for that?
yeah, but it doesn't like fix itI mean, I have exercises that I
do for that, um, but it likeit's still there it's just kind
of random, I don't know if it'ssomething I don't know.
They say it's not like theepidural, but mine.
They did have to do it severaltimes and then they, I don't
(37:14):
know, I didn't move, at least onthe first one, because whatever
, like you're not supposed tomove when they like do the shot
or whatever, but it like sends ashock down one of your legs so
like how do you not move Anyway?
So like they might have hitsomething, or maybe it's just
(37:34):
like how I carried the weight orsomething, or something shifted
and it's like pinching a nerveor something.
I don't know, but that sucks,though that sounds painful,
something shifted and it's likepinching a nerve or something.
I don't know, but that sucks,though that sounds painful.
Yeah, but I mean it's reallyhard to get any like pain
management stuff here in brazil.
It's so much easier becausethey just like actually
recommend things together.
There's no laws down there.
(37:54):
Well that.
But also like I feel like theyactually like care more because
they make sure you don't leaveit pain.
I gave birth to humans and theygave me a like a motrin.
They gave me like two pills ofibuprofen, yeah, after pushing
humans out and getting stitchesdown there and I had to be like
I am in so much pain because Iwas, and like you have to pee
(38:17):
and poop and do all these thingsbefore they let you leave and
they ended up giving me like oxy.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
But even that day I feel like didn't do much, yeah
but a man can't get a vasectomywithout getting all kinds of I
know medication so rude.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
But yeah, I literally was like are you joking?
When they handed me likeibuprofen, I was like, like I
just gave birth, like thisepidural like only half worked
and it's going to wear off.
Give me your best cocktail.
Oh my God, give me all thedrugs.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Mix it all I know, give it to me Crazy.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
They literally were like well, would you like some
Tylenol with that too?
I'm like B are with that too.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
I'm like b.
Are you joking?
Is it like 10?
Like, is it a lot?
It's the whole bottle also isit tylenol mixed with morphine.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Seriously, one thing I'll say.
This is warning for people, theone person listening and also
you, for whenever you have yourkids, bring your own tylenol and
your own ibuprofen to thehospital when you have kids.
Really why?
Because they will charge you 90per pill no way, had to like
negotiate them down to charge melike 50 per pill instead.
(39:36):
I swear it's ridiculous.
Yeah, the health system is justliterally they're like well,
it's just what it costs and likehow does it make any sense?
So the second time around Ibrought my own and they were
kind of frustrated by that.
But I was like just tell mewhen to take it and I'll take it
.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You can see that these are the bottles yeah of
tylenol and ibuprofen yeah, Ifeel like it's so weird to me
like even watching hospital likeshows.
It's like doctors just want tomake so many decisions for you,
where it's like and I don't meanthat as any like kind of
disrespect, because doctors Ifeel like, for the most part, do
know more than us yeah, but atsome point I feel like there
(40:15):
needs to be some sort of respectfor the autonomy of yeah like
informed consent.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yeah, I feel like they.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
The whole thing with health care is a whole other
conversation but yeah definitelylike, if they're gonna give you
anything and it's gonna cost somuch, they should tell you like
, bring your own yeah, thereneeds to be like a menu of like
this is the treatment you'regonna get, this is how much it's
gonna cost, like each thing,but anyway, yeah, that's a whole
other can of worms yeah,tylenol, ibuprofen, stool
(40:43):
Softener bring those with youall right, you heard it here
first.
Folks just saying um, okay,well, that went from reading
confessions to confessingourselves that was a mistake.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Next time we won't do that.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
All right, this stays between us.
All right, bye.
I can't see to turn it off.
There it is.
All right, so today we're going to do, we're going
to read some stories from theconfessions or Reddit thread
that Lolly found.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
So Rissa found I go by many names, many names.
Okay, here's a confession.
I've been faking an allergy foryears and now it's gone way too
far.
(00:32):
That's how it starts.
My dad has done that.
No way.
Maybe this is your dad.
It might be All right all right.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
So chris's dad said um, I hope it's like a super
feminine thing, because it'sgonna make this funnier, since I
didn't elaborate.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Okay, this started as a dumb excuse and now I'm in
too deep.
Years ago I went on a date witha girl who was obsessed with
peanut butter.
She kept pushing me to try herpeanut butter smoothie, even
after I said I wasn't in themood.
Instead of just saying no, Iblurted out oh, I can't, I'm
allergic.
Big mistake.
(01:18):
She was super concerned, askeda million questions and I
figured whatever, I'd never seeher again.
But then she introduced me toher friend group and they all
knew about my allergy.
At that point, correcting itfelt too awkward.
Fast forward six years.
He married her.
No, that's what I was expectingto read too, but I'm still
(01:44):
friends with these people.
My allergy is a known fact.
They warn restaurants for me.
They check ingredients.
One of them even threw out apeanut butter cake someone
brought to a party, just to besafe.
The worst part I love peanutbutter.
I eat it in secret.
(02:06):
I have a stash at work.
Once my best friend said man,it sucks, not knowing what a
Reese's tastes like, and I justnodded solemnly that's his best
friend.
How do you not confide in yourbest friend?
I'm like hey, actually thisisn't true.
First, six years, he needs tochange his name and move Start
(02:28):
fresh dude.
Now my girlfriend, who alsobelieves I'm allergic, wants us
to move in together and she'ssuper cautious about food.
I'm terrified she'll find mypeanut butter stash and think
I've been lying to her.
You have which I have for years.
She'll find my peanut butterstash and think I've been lying
to her.
You have which I have for years.
(02:48):
I have no idea how to get outof this.
Do I fake a miracle recovery, amedical misdiagnosis, or do I
just keep the lie going forever?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
okay, I actually haven't the answer to this
because I saw someone doing thison tiktok but I think how, I
did not know this.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Was that common not?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
this specifically.
But this person actually had anallergy I think it was to
carrots or something and theydecided to like, have an itty
bitty piece every day and justkind of grow in portions.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Oh yeah, like it's like an exposure therapy yeah
yeah, I've heard of people doingthat.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
I also saw someone saying that I think they got
laid off and they couldn'tafford.
They either couldn't affordhealth care or, like they, their
health insurance was denyingtheir claims for this medication
they needed for allergies, andso they were using a credit card
on their windshield to grab,like the poland or whatever I
(03:52):
don't know.
You have options it was cokethe whole time, it might have
been but don't people like goout of allergies all the time
though?
is that like a thing?
Yeah, I think it.
I think it depends on how.
It depends on how the he builtthis lie, because if you have an
allergy that like get, I don'tknow, like gives you rashes or
(04:17):
something, it depends on how badyour allergy is.
Like, my dad truly is deathlyallergic to seafood like
lobsters and stuff.
He can't even go near it.
If he's like near it, he'll getrashes.
If he eats it, he'll like histhroat will close up.
He needs like I don't think hecarries around an EpiPen or
anything, but he should.
He has, like a necklace orwhatever that says that he's
(04:39):
allergic to that and anothermedication.
Yeah, he has lied for years,though, about being allergic to
nuts because he doesn't like he,just doesn't like him.
It started when we were young.
There was like this at outbackthere was this um dessert.
I don't even know if they hadit here, but they had it in
brazil called oblivion.
It was actually really good um,never heard of her.
(05:04):
I don't really know what was init.
There were like these pieces offruit or something and like a
drizzle of chocolate, all thesedifferent things.
It was really, really yummy,but it came with nuts so he
didn't like him with that, so hewould always ask for it without
it, um, but then sometimes theywould forget.
So he just started saying hewas allergic to it and it just
(05:24):
spread, it was a thing.
And then he told me that I wasallergic to it, so I thought I
was and he's just.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
His hatred for nuts is so bad he he gaslit his own
daughter enough, so that, atlike, I think I was 16, I don't
know.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
But, um, I was at school and one of my friends
called my mom so my mom wouldbring a cake, so they could do
like a surprise thing for me atthe cafeteria, which was really
nice.
Um, I think my friend calledand ordered the cake and my mom
just picked it up and brought itbecause we couldn't I don't
know, they wouldn't let us leavebecause we're I don't know, in
(06:08):
Brazil, if you're under 18, youcan't leave the school and you
can't drive, so it doesn'treally matter so you need your
parents anyway.
So yeah, my mom brought the caketo the school, my friend got it
together, put in the cafeteria,brought some people, had
someone come and get me to getsomething from the cafeteria.
Everyone was there who saidhappy birthday.
It was really nice.
(06:28):
And then we ate the cake and Iate it and I noticed it was like
a little crunchy and differentpieces, but it was like a
chocolate cake whateverafterwards my friend we were
talking or I can't remember howI think she looked at the label
or something and she's like thisis nuts, you're nuts.
And I'm like so I was likefreaking out and I thought I was
(06:50):
having like symptoms orsomething.
I'm like, oh my gosh, my tonguefeels numb, like it was this
whole thing.
And then I came home and I toldmy mom and she's like oh my
gosh, but you're feeling fine,yeah.
And then I'm talking to my dadand he's like you're not
allergic to nuts.
And I'm like what?
And he's like, yeah, and I waslike, but you are.
(07:11):
And he said that I was.
And he's like I'm not allergicto nuts.
And I'm like what is happening?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
My whole world is falling apart.
I'm like who am I?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
What is going on?
I had one identity no, that wasit.
And like everyone in my lifeknew that I was allergic to nuts
I mean not in my life, but likeat school, because we ate like
three meals together, yeah.
And so, like everyone, actuallyI was lying.
Yeah, I don't even know.
I mean, at least in my case,that was like my dad lied to me.
You're the victim I'm finemaybe he can say someone lied to
him.
I don't know.
He's like actually exposuretherapy or say someone lied on
(07:55):
your behalf and I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yeah, or like try some peanut butter and just be
like, oh my gosh, I'm cured orsay like you thought it was
peanut butter, but it wasanother kind of nut that you're
allergic to well, but the onethat he doesn't like live a
different life like you're just,yeah, replacing it, but yeah,
(08:19):
maybe that I guess what, likeeverybody said, was just like
claim misdiagnosis, which Iguess yeah, and would you ever
suggest that he just comes clean, the like hey, I just told a
lie and I took it too far.
No, you've dug yourself toodeep because listen and maybe
this is true.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Maybe you should warn your friends.
But if you're lying aboutanything for this long, it looks
real bad it does here.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Here's, if you ever I'm all about like I, I love the
truth.
I think it's the best policynot here, but you gotta play
your cards, right?
You know, when you've gone thisfar here, here's what I suggest
you.
You, like you slowly come outof it, right?
You say it was a misdiagnosisor whatever.
(09:08):
Like you're cured and you don'thave this allergy anymore.
You kind of build on the liebut kind of backtracking on it,
right, so now you don't havethis peanut allergy anymore.
Give it another six years andthen when you feel like
everybody can laugh about it,you're like, yeah, well, people
are still talking about it.
(09:29):
I guess they just be like, yeah, I am, I was never allergic,
haha, lol.
Or like, if it ever comes uplike what is?
Like you're playing one ofthose games.
That's like what is a lie thatyou've told for too long?
You know, yeah, wait for like atruth or dare moment, which
(09:49):
hopefully you're not playing ifyou're like in your 30s, but I'm
just kidding you can play that.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I forgot how old we are.
I'm like I still play not inyour 30s.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
No, no, no.
I have three more years.
Don't take them from me oh mygosh.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Um, it's hilarious, though that's a.
I mean you don't have to tellthe truth, I guess, because you
probably wouldn't have.
You ever lied about anythinglike that for like or anything
that lasted years um, I don'tthink so.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I don't think I've ever.
There is like, when I think oflike a, there is a one lie that
I'm ashamed of, that I've, thatI've told somebody very close to
me and but it was like it's notanything that like affects my
life.
Okay, fine, I'll tell you itwas my arm.
(10:48):
Um, love it.
Okay, so we'll just blockwhoever it is well, it's my
boyfriend and I don't let himlisten to this podcast anyway.
So listen to me.
Well, it's my boyfriend and Idon't let him listen to this
(11:08):
podcast anyway.
So okay, um, they're like, it'snothing that really affects our
relationship in any way, but itwas like one of the first weeks
, like it was very early on inour and when we started going
out on dates and I I'm soembarrassed one of my friends,
(11:28):
prank, called him and it justlike that prank call kind of
like went too far and it was soyou just scammed him out of
thousands of dollars.
He doesn't know it's me.
He thinks it was some prince ofegypt or something.
It's brad pitt, which, for hisimage, I don't think it makes it
(11:55):
any better.
Um no, so he, my friend prank,called him and I like I was
there with her and she like, um,it was one of those things that
you don't really think throughit.
But like halfway through you'relike why are we even doing this
?
But like we had dug ourselvesinto such a deep hole at that
(12:17):
point that we're like I don'tknow how to like get out of this
.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I used to think of Vikram and friends, the fake
boyfriend that Ross comes upwith that Phoebe had, she never
had a long-term relationship.
Yeah, sorry, anyway.
No, yeah, I really want to know.
I just keep thinking so.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
So he, um, so he, like after that day, like a few
days after that, I had mentionedthat me and that friend had had
a sleepover, yeah, and he kindof connected the dots.
Which props to him, because Idid not think he would connect
anything.
But he's actually really smart.
I don't know what, yeah anyway,I feel like I had to say that,
(13:07):
but he is anyway.
But then he's like, he's likeum, I have to ask you something.
And I was like, oh, I was likeplease be anything else.
But then he was like was it youdid?
Were you the one that called methat night?
And I was like what, what areyou talking about?
Completely lied my way out ofthat.
(13:29):
He was just like no, like you,like you, like I, he's.
I kind of made him feel badbecause I was like why would you
think that, like, I trust you,and he's just like no, yeah,
like I, I, some girls like Ifeel like might do something
like that, but no, like if itwasn't you, okay, that's like,
(13:51):
he was super sweet about it.
And then what did you say inthe prank call?
It was just it was um.
So my friend pretended to besomebody that he met at a party
and just like he, on the phone,he was like I, I don't know who
you are, yeah.
And then, and she was like no,like we talked about this and
(14:13):
that and all this stuff.
And he was just like I don't, Idon't know what you're talking
about.
And she just kept going with itand he's, and so like to the
point of him being like, oh,yeah, okay, like I, really I
don't remember this, but okay,yeah.
And and she was just like well,do you want to come and hang out
(14:34):
?
Like did this whole thing?
And he's just like, um, notlike yeah, sure, like I'll come
hang out, uh, like I remind meyour name, like I don't remember
any of this anyway, yeah, so sowhen he was asking me, he was
just, was, just like I did youdo this to see, like if I would
(14:57):
go out with somebody else, which, to be fair, that was like
never my intention, it was justa prank call that went wrong.
Like so I wasn't, she wassupposed to be like a pizza
delivery driver, or something.
Yeah, it was just like thisthing that just got way out of
hand, so like I never had any ofthose intentions and and I knew
how like, if I admitted to it,it would have sounded.
(15:18):
I mean I'm embarrassed to evenadmit it now that I was a part
of that and I'm way too old forthat talking.
No, I wasn't but I was there,that's fine anyway.
So I just completely lied aboutit and I was like I would never
do that and he believed me andwe are still dating.
(15:41):
So that's good.
Sometimes Should we prank, callhim now.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Do the same thing If he brings it up.
If he ever finds out, just sayat least I didn't scam you out
of a bunch of money there you go.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
This could have been so much, would have been so much
worse, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that was just like him.
I feel like that was like theworst thing I've ever done in a
relationship.
I think you're really guilty it.
I'm like, it's embarrassing andI'm so ashamed.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
I feel like it's totally understandable, though.
Because, like you, were kind ofembarrassed about it, you
didn't want to say that Well,it's not understandable that I
did it in the first place?
Yeah, but you didn't do it.
Your friend did yeah, but Ididn't stop her.
Yeah, but I mean, I know Ididn't stop her, yeah, but
Anyway that's a good one.
(16:38):
I really hope he doesn't hearthis.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
He won't, he's not allowed to, it's fine.
Yeah, it's true.
And if he does, then I'll bedisappointed because I told him
he can't hear.
I'll just turn it around on himReverse, yeah, uno.
Reverse.
Like what were you doinglistening to the podcast?
I know.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
A hundred percent.
I'm trying to think if I haveone, I have one.
I'm trying to think, if I havea relationship, one, I don't
think I do.
I need to start keeping moresecrets or keep lies or
something, get things a littlespicy.
But I do have one lie that I Idon't know this is.
(17:18):
No one's going to listen tothis.
It's fine, it's not that bad,but okay.
We it's a good thing when we canrely on the fact nobody listens
to this.
It's fine.
It's fine, and if anyone does,they're our friends and they
already like us, so they'll getover it.
(17:39):
It's fine anyway.
Um, I don't even know how totell this.
I'm gonna sound like such anasshole.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Um at least better than the pathetic girl who
pranked a boy when she's like 26okay, okay, I didn't know, so I
think that makes it okay umanyway, whatever sense card, we
love it I'm not pleading um,anyway.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Okay, so we started a prank war with some guys in our
apartment complex, dorm,whatever, in college, anyway.
So we had these friends.
I can't remember how it started.
I think they pranked myroommate first and they put like
(18:29):
baby oil and like Oreos andSram Wrap on her car or
something.
I think that's how it started,not sure.
Anyway, so they hit her ormaybe we got them first.
At some point we put tampons intheir like suits, so whenever
they were at church they wouldthink they have like pens, but
they were tampons, I don't knowWhatever.
And then, but whatever, itescalated to some point they
(18:50):
pranked her car, would thinkthey have like pens, but they
were tampons, I don't knowwhatever.
And then, but whatever, itescalated to some point they
pranked her car.
So then we decided to prankthem.
So we bought like diapers andput nutella on them and like,
put it all over their car.
And then we grabbed kool-aidand tampons and we like dyed
(19:11):
them red and put it all over thecar and I think we wrote vagina
on their car I don't know mighthave happened anyway.
Okay, so we hit them and I I hada crush on this guy who was our
friend but, like everyone hadhad a thing with him, he was a.
(19:31):
He was like not a hoe, but hewas kind of, you know, a little
player, yeah, and he was like afive or six.
I don't know he, he was nicethough anyway, whatever so.
I was like friends with him.
We would kind of like flirtsometimes and I was kind of into
it and anyway.
So I can't remember how it gotto this point, but he was saying
(19:54):
that he wanted to prank myroommates but he would spare me.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
He was trying to build a little alliance here
yeah, like a little secret.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
It was kind of flirty so I was like, okay, I hope I'm
right about this.
It's kind of bad.
I also didn't know what he wasgonna do okay, I'm so curious
it's like borderline illegal.
But I didn't do it anyway, itwasn't me, whatever.
So we were like texting you,whatever.
(20:24):
And he's like yeah, like wouldyou help me?
And I was like as long as it'snot anything bad, and he's like
okay, but like whatever.
It was like as long as it's notanything bad and he's like okay
, but like whatever.
It was like this flirty thing,whatever.
Anyway, so we, he invites us tohis house one night and it's
like it's like his parents'house.
They had like a really nicehouse and, um, I can't remember
(20:48):
I think we were going to watch amovie or I can't remember what
we were gonna do there, but wewent to his place.
As soon as we get there, likehe pulls me aside and it was
kind of like this flirty thing.
But he pulls me aside and he'slike just follow my lead, don't
eat the cookies.
And I was like what?
(21:09):
And he's like just like followmy lead.
And I'm like okay, and I wasjust so like confused.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Oh my gosh yeah it's bad he felt laxatives in the
cookie.
Yeah, his mom did I know.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
So we hang out and then he brings like cookies
around and he offers me some andhe just looks at me and I'm
like I'm okay, and he passesthem around and I thought they
were just gonna taste bad orsomething.
And I saw everyone eating them.
Some of them were eating a lotof them and I was like weird.
And then he comes back aroundagain with more cookies, but
(21:48):
then this time he like winks atme and he like nods, and so I
like go to take one, and he's,and so I take one and I eat a
cookie and it tasted fine andwhatever.
I didn't think much of it.
And then we hang out like formost of the night and then,
after we're done, he they allkind of decided they want to go
(22:08):
to McDonald's.
And I'm like, okay, cool, meetyou guys there.
We were driving separate cars,there were a lot of us.
So, um, as I'm leaving orwhatever, he texts me and he
says, hey, we're gonna be latefor McDonald's, but just stall
for us.
And I'm like what are you doing?
And he's like he like didn'ttell me.
He was basically like I didn'tjust need you to stall for a
(22:31):
little bit, we, we need to go dosomething, but they're going to
get mad at us if we're late,but just tell them that I'm
saying that I'm coming and I'mlike, okay, whatever we go to
the McDonald's, we're waitingfor them, they're taking forever
.
We finally just eat and then Ican't remember if they ever
showed up or not.
Now that, now that I thinkabout it, they either did or
(22:54):
didn't, and then we leftmcdonald's and went home.
We get home, we turn on thelights and then the lights don't
come on and we're like that'sweird and did I tell you this no
, but did they do somethingwhere, like you, couldn't use
the toilet?
okay, that is evil I just madethe connection that that's why,
anyway, whatever we get there,we're all laying on, like in the
(23:16):
living room, only a couplelights are turning on.
We don't?
We like don't think much of it,we're like we need to change
the light bulbs or something.
One of our roommates goes tothe bathroom and she like
flushes, does the whole thing,and then I can't remember
exactly how we realized this.
I think we were going to ourrooms and like there weren't.
This is kind of hard to explainit, but we like had two
bathrooms.
There wasn't a door to thefirst room that had just had the
(23:40):
sinks, there was just a door tolike where the toilet and the
bath was Um, and so I walkedpast and I look at the first
bathroom sinks and they're fullto the top and there's something
in there and I'm like what ishappening?
So I grab, like, the flashlighton my phone because the lights
aren't working and there's ramennoodles in the sinks cooking.
(24:02):
There's like warm water to thetop and there's just like soggy
noodles and I'm like what theheck?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
this is is like criminal, like mastermind I know
Scary.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I go into the bathroom my roommate didn't
notice this when she went to thebathroom, but I guess she
didn't wash her hands becauseshe didn't notice.
But I go into the bathroom andthere's ramen noodles in the
toilet there's ramen, thebathtub is full and there's
ramen noodles there.
And I'm like bathtub is fulland there's ramen noodles there
(24:36):
and I'm like what the hell?
And so I go into the kitchen tograb some like garbage bags or
something so we can scoop it out, because, like you can't drain
it and the sink is full of waterand has ramen noodles cooking
there.
And then there's this, theselike packets of like shrimp
flavored whatever for thenoodles.
Some of it is in the sinks andin the bath and wherever, some
of it is like kind of on thefloor and anyway, so yeah.
(25:01):
So then we realized that, yeah,they pranked us, they took our
light bulb so we couldn't see.
And then we ended up findingthem in the closet, in like a
bin or something later and theywere cooking ramen noodles
everywhere.
And then, anyway, I guess tofinish the night, we grabbed
garbage bags, we filled it upwith the ramen noodles and all
the things.
We cleaned it out.
(25:21):
Like I got pranked there too,because it was my bathroom too
in my apartment, so I had tohelp clean and do all the things
, and you helped with that Iknow, I didn't know that's what
they were gonna do um, and I hadforgotten about the cookies at
this point completely, because Iwas like that was probably not
the prank.
He probably wanted me to thinkthat that was the prank.
(25:43):
So then they could do this.
Whatever we filled the tub orthe bags with the ramen noodles,
we take him to the parking lotand we're gonna take it to like
the dumpster.
But then we were like, screwhim, we're gonna find his car,
his little, precious little babycar, and we're gonna cover it
in this shiz, because screw him.
And so we waited, we were hiding, so he moved his car from where
(26:06):
he would normally park to likethe end of the parking lot.
So we were hiding and then wesaw him pull in park in a
different spot.
We waited for him to leave.
We go over there, cover his carin like all the ramen noodles,
we grab the rest of the packetsand we're just like popping them
open and putting it everywhere.
Um, anyway, so I think thatnight later, that night or that
(26:30):
next morning, he realized whatwe did and he was pissed because
he was like this little richkid and like he, it was his car
and it was a nice car, I don'tremember what kind of car.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
It was After what he just did.
I know he has like no room tobe mad.
It gets worse.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
So I go to school the next day and as I'm, I think I
was going to class or I wascoming back from class.
I have like the roommate groupchat and everyone is like does
anyone else have explosivediarrhea?
(27:08):
And one of those last ones tooka long time to kick in, but they
did.
They did.
I mean, I was fine because Iguess mine didn't have anything,
anything.
And then I lied and I said thatI did also have diarrhea
because I, like you know, I wasthe only one and also, it's like
it, I took it too faraccidentally, because I didn't
know he was gonna do that Ithought they were gonna I
thought he had put liketoothpaste on the thing and they
would spit it out in the moment.
(27:29):
I don't know he was gonna putlaxatives in there and I didn't
know he was gonna prank myapartment because he said it
wasn't gonna affect me anywaywhatever.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
So you never forget the first time a man lies to you
you never do.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah, anyway, I had a couple of roommates that worked
at the same boutique at themall and they didn't have the
same shift.
But one of them was at theshift and she's like I'm working
alone, I can't close, I'm goingto shit my pants and so the
other one had to come in.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
They had to keep taking turns, that's nice that
they at least had like she hadsomebody to call.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I know Some of the other roommates did not.
They just had to go to work andthey had to go to work and they
had the.
They were just anyway.
So to this day I I still hangout with the girls and I don't
hang out with the guy anymore.
I haven't like talked to him inyears.
We're not friends, we haven'tbeen friends in a long time.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
That is like not on you at all, though okay, thank
you.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
You have no idea.
I feel so bad about it becauseit was like because I, I was
like flirting and I should havejust said like no, and because
guilty by association, myfriends you know and I was,
because I was kind of like it'sgonna be like a silly little
prank or whatever and it's gonnabe like this flirty thing and
like yeah, I don't know, I don'tknow and yeah, but his mom was
(28:51):
it on it later I found out.
I thought he made the cookies,his mom I don't know, I don't
know, and yeah, but his mom wasit on it.
Later I found out I thought hemade the cookies, his mom I
don't know, and that was beforeshe found out what we did to her
son's car.
So I thought we were gonnaescalate and then we kind of
stopped there because someonewas gonna well, he gets his
deviousness from somebody.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
yeah, his, his lack of limit from somebody.
I know.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Okay, but what-?
Also, imagine that woman is amother-in-law.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I'm glad it didn't work out, conspiring with her
son.
Imagine Okay, what do you thinkwould be worse?
Somebody giving you somethingwith laxatives that you're not
aware of?
Or like with weed?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
oh, depends on what I have going on the next day.
Same answer for both things.
I do want to say one thing,though this is unrelated um, my
dad lied to me about beingallergic to nuts, right, uh-huh,
but he forgot to tell me thatI'm lactose intolerant did I
(30:00):
tell you that?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
did he know?
Speaker 1 (30:02):
he knew and he didn't tell you, they had to give me
like goat milk when I was youngbecause it was so bad, and then
at some point they like forgot,and so I just never really.
Sometimes they would make medrink milk, um, like in the
morning and stuff, and I justnever.
I just thought I didn't like it, um, and I thought I didn't
(30:22):
like ice cream and all thesedifferent things, because, and I
always felt kind of sick after.
And then, like recently, I wastalking to a friend and she's
like oh, like, why don't youtake like these lactates or
whatever that probably will help?
And so I did, and then I wasable to eat things and feel okay
later.
And so I was talking to myparents about it and I'm like,
yeah, I started taking thisthing.
(30:43):
I think I might be lactoseintolerant.
And they were like, oh yeah,you are.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
They're like we've known this whole time, god, like
no one told me.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
So it's just like this ongoing joke for them years
ago, the whole like puttinglaxatives in my food.
If it had been like milk, Iwouldn't have known, it would
have been the same experience.
But yeah, I don't know.
(31:13):
I feel like I've never doneweed, so that maybe would be
interesting, and it's supposedto help you sleep or something
too.
So like, if it, I'm okay withthat, but laxatives I don't know
.
It depends on how much of itand whether I'm constipated at
the moment or not, because if Iam, thank you.
If I'm not, then like screw you.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah, no, I honestly like I feel like I mean, we grew
up thinking that like weed wasas bad as like killing somebody,
right, but A lot of things wereas bad as that.
And not that I'm like a hugelike advocate of weed at all,
(31:56):
but when it comes to like eitherbeing like drugged with
laxatives or with weed, I Idon't know which one's worse.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yeah, as long as like I don't either way.
Again, same answer for both, aslong as I don't have to drive
anywhere, because driving whenyou got a heavy butthole
situation sucks it does, and ifyou're on weed like, that's just
you can't yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
(32:27):
So if you know that you'regonna be home, weed a hundred
percent yeah, right, like Ithink I would take weed over
laxatives yeah, I mean, I don'tthink I've been like relaxed a
single day of my life.
Maybe I need weight.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
I feel like I have like too much of a moral compass
for this, but I've alwaysthought it'd be so like my.
It'd be so interesting to me todo that to my parents.
Just see how that goes.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Like I would never, but I know, make some brownies
and it is funny, though, because, like growing up like super
conservative, like our parentsdon't drink, they don't do drugs
so like.
I wonder what that's likehaving parents who do drink
sometimes and like their own tea, that would come up.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, I've, I've my oldest brother has said that so
many times.
He's like I could just like itwould be so fun if, like, our
whole family just sat back andcracked open a bottle of wine
and just got like to talkingabout real stuff.
(33:40):
And I was like I don't know ifwe want that, we're so happy
like let's, let's all do the potso hard to pretend we're happy?
Speaker 1 (33:50):
yeah, it's hard enough setting boundaries with
my parents like let's, let'slike, not rock the boat too much
let's keep things surface level, please.
That's hilarious.
I mean, yeah, that would befunny just to see how they do on
that yeah but you just knowthat their like existential
(34:13):
crisis would just be too intense.
Oh, you could never tell them.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Oh, yeah, ever yeah I don't know what happened.
I know, oh they was.
They probably came like that.
You like pretend you read.
Read on the like the label,like oh my gosh, these are pot
brownies.
We didn't even know.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
I saw this thing um, I don't even know fully what
they are, josh, just he didn'tget the weight ones, let me
clarify at costco.
But they're like these littlecone thingies.
I think they called mudsomething, I don't know but I
saw someone on tiktok sayingthat they bought something like
that and they thought it wasjust which.
I don't even know how you getthis confused, because you can't
(34:52):
just buy weed anywhere, butthey bought this thing.
It depends on where you're atoh, I guess that's true.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Like colorado, I don't actually.
I don't know how the laws are,but I would imagine that you
would know.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
They probably have to make it very clear, right.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Wait, I actually know exactly what you're talking
about.
There are these like littlecones.
I've seen advertisements forthis.
There are these like littlecones that are like infused,
like edible little cones orwhatever, and I saw this little
person.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
This little person.
You can't say that.
That is not what I was tryingto say.
I saw that this person hadthese little things and, um,
they had a bunch of them andthey didn't know that it was
(35:49):
weed or they didn't know howmuch weed was in it, and their
eyes were like like red I thinkit was an ad that you didn't
realize it was an ad oh, it gotme.
I was like joshua didn to buythese things at costco and I'm
like, well, we should doublecheck.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I mean, I think that I've seen those on tiktok.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
They're like um, usually like paid promotions and
stuff, um, but yeah, they likelook like these little cone
things and yeah could be good, Idon't know, I've never done it
but, honestly, I was talking toa friend about it and she said
that there's these um gummies orwhatever um that you can take
(36:33):
for like chronic pain and things.
And ever since having kids, Iget like sciatica pains pretty
bad, yeah, and it depends on,like, what I've been doing and
things.
But if I'm like being moreactive or even if I'm not,
sometimes they'll pull like onone side or the other at night,
and so maybe that would be nice.
I don't know, um, but I don'tknow if I can take them.
(36:54):
Actually, is there likephysical therapy for that?
yeah, but it doesn't like fix itI mean, I have exercises that I
do for that, um, but it likeit's still there it's just kind
of random, I don't know if it'ssomething I don't know.
They say it's not like theepidural, but mine.
They did have to do it severaltimes and then they, I don't
(37:14):
know, I didn't move, at least onthe first one, because whatever
, like you're not supposed tomove when they like do the shot
or whatever, but it like sends ashock down one of your legs so
like how do you not move Anyway?
So like they might have hitsomething, or maybe it's just
(37:34):
like how I carried the weight orsomething, or something shifted
and it's like pinching a nerveor something.
I don't know, but that sucks,though that sounds painful,
something shifted and it's likepinching a nerve or something.
I don't know, but that sucks,though that sounds painful.
Yeah, but I mean it's reallyhard to get any like pain
management stuff here in brazil.
It's so much easier becausethey just like actually
recommend things together.
There's no laws down there.
(37:54):
Well that.
But also like I feel like theyactually like care more because
they make sure you don't leaveit pain.
I gave birth to humans and theygave me a like a motrin.
They gave me like two pills ofibuprofen, yeah, after pushing
humans out and getting stitchesdown there and I had to be like
I am in so much pain because Iwas, and like you have to pee
(38:17):
and poop and do all these thingsbefore they let you leave and
they ended up giving me like oxy.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
But even that day I feel like didn't do much, yeah
but a man can't get a vasectomywithout getting all kinds of I
know medication so rude.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
But yeah, I literally was like are you joking?
When they handed me likeibuprofen, I was like, like I
just gave birth, like thisepidural like only half worked
and it's going to wear off.
Give me your best cocktail.
Oh my God, give me all thedrugs.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Mix it all I know, give it to me Crazy.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
They literally were like well, would you like some
Tylenol with that too?
I'm like B are with that too.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
I'm like b.
Are you joking?
Is it like 10?
Like, is it a lot?
It's the whole bottle also isit tylenol mixed with morphine.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Seriously, one thing I'll say.
This is warning for people, theone person listening and also
you, for whenever you have yourkids, bring your own tylenol and
your own ibuprofen to thehospital when you have kids.
Really why?
Because they will charge you 90per pill no way, had to like
negotiate them down to charge melike 50 per pill instead.
(39:36):
I swear it's ridiculous.
Yeah, the health system is justliterally they're like well,
it's just what it costs and likehow does it make any sense?
So the second time around Ibrought my own and they were
kind of frustrated by that.
But I was like just tell mewhen to take it and I'll take it
.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You can see that these are the bottles yeah of
tylenol and ibuprofen yeah, Ifeel like it's so weird to me
like even watching hospital likeshows.
It's like doctors just want tomake so many decisions for you,
where it's like and I don't meanthat as any like kind of
disrespect, because doctors Ifeel like, for the most part, do
know more than us yeah, but atsome point I feel like there
(40:15):
needs to be some sort of respectfor the autonomy of yeah like
informed consent.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yeah, I feel like they.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
The whole thing with health care is a whole other
conversation but yeah definitelylike, if they're gonna give you
anything and it's gonna cost somuch, they should tell you like
, bring your own yeah, thereneeds to be like a menu of like
this is the treatment you'regonna get, this is how much it's
gonna cost, like each thing,but anyway, yeah, that's a whole
other can of worms yeah,tylenol, ibuprofen, stool
(40:43):
Softener bring those with youall right, you heard it here
first.
Folks just saying um, okay,well, that went from reading
confessions to confessingourselves that was a mistake.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Next time we won't do that.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
All right, this stays between us.
All right, bye.
I can't see to turn it off.
There it is.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.